riotsinmyh3ad

[riotsinmyh3ad]

There I go falling

#spilled thoughts #healing #void state #forbidden lust #spotify #lust of the flesh #self worth #locked in lust #vent blog #poetry

[riotsinmyh3ad]

I live a double life no one and I mean no one not one person in my life has any idea who I am and tbh I love it, I absolutely love it I may regret it later but I live in the now and right now I’m having so much fun!!!

#double life #20 something #surviving romance #love? idk

[riotsinmyh3ad]

Did you ever want me ? no worries if not.

It’s just that I told my mom, she thinks we’re still going strong

#void state #forbidden lust #spotify #lust of the flesh #self worth #locked in lust #vent blog #spilled thoughts #poetry #healing

[riotsinmyh3ad]

On days like this I just wanna be held by someone who isn’t wearing a mask or playing an act we don’t even have to talk I just want to be in the presence of a genuine person

#self worth #void state #vent blog #going through the motions

[riotsinmyh3ad]

And if it’s an illusion I want to hold on to it

These memories

This time

These years

These months

These weeks

These days

These hours

These minutes

These seconds

I cherish them all

I live in the now

But I wish now could last forever

You’re gonna hate me later

Maybe you won’t but I wish that you will

When I leave if you choose to stay or if you choose to come

It doesn’t matter in the end

They never stay no matter how hard I love

Or how much I give

Or how much I sacrifice

I can’t save you

I can’t even save myself

But I wish that I could

If I could take us to a place in time where we could hold on forever I would

But that simply won’t be

I’ll cherish what I have with you and hold you dear to my heart until the earth swallows me hole until time runs out until my last breath

My love A

[riotsinmyh3ad]

I absolutely love the way you press me up against you’re body as you grab my neck from behind while we kiss to Altitude by Montell Fish

#locked in lust #forbidden lust #lust sinner #lust of the flesh #the quiet one #obssesive #obsessive vent #montell fish #Spotify

[riotsinmyh3ad]

Why do I romanticize the most generic people when will I find my star boy

#starboy #stargirl #Spotify

[riotsinmyh3ad]

The day you left me was the part of my life when I was at my lowest point. The car ride was loudest silence id ever heard. I had so much to say but was so weak, so weak my body shivered and stiffened I couldn’t speak a word. i walked out of your car and said “see you later” and walked to my door step in the pouring rain you called me back and for a split second my heart stopped aching. I thought saying goodbye was just as painful for you as it was for me and so I had hoped you were calling me back to talk to try again but no I walked back to your car on that pathetic cold wet day just for you to say “you said see you later but I don’t think you will” it felt like you rubbed salt on my wound, it felt like a laugh in my face to hear you say those words… and the healing was even worse every song every movie every deep conversation everything, everything reminded me of you it was torture…. But then I flourished I got better, I did better, I felt at peace with the situation. And now you want my time and attention again, you want to see me… but guess what love I don’t think you will.

#self worth #void state #healing #love and redemption #breakup #aftercare

[riotsinmyh3ad]

[riotsinmyh3ad]

I know you

I see right through you, you are transparent

You long and crave for love, affection, attention

I was here to provide and you waisted my time

You want to be wanted not loved.

#void state #spilled thoughts #spilled words #poets on tumblr #spilled poety #poem #depressing poem #spilled poetry #dark poetry

[riotsinmyh3ad]

I am a bonfire

You have ignited flames within this shell we call a body

With every touch they grow bigger

With the sound of your voice it scorched my soul

I don’t talk much but when I do it’s clouds of smoke

I kept you warm

When I no longer could provide that warmth you let my fire dim

You left me in nothing but pieces and ash

As I burned for you as I kept not only your flesh but your heart warm

You let me die out

I was used nothing more.

#bonfire #void state #used up #burden #forbidden romance #forbidden love #writers and poets #poetscommunity #spilled poety #spilled thoughts

[riotsinmyh3ad]

What a waste of potential babe

I know what you crave

My body, my flesh

But not even the slightest bit of my soul

What fool.

#self worth #☆ ⠀ ⠀ such a waste of a young heart ⠀ ⠀ ╱ ⠀ ⠀ interaction / short. #karmic lessons

[riotsinmyh3ad]

[riotsinmyh3ad]

I felt this entirely nobody in my life knows the same version of this person named Heaven …

“I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?”

— Unknown

[riotsinmyh3ad]

“I can do nothing for you but work on myself. You can do nothing for me but work on yourself.”

— Ram Dass

[riotsinmyh3ad]

[riotsinmyh3ad]