sembrais

[sembrais]

I share my journey to becoming a person of solidarity through a volunteering experience on campus. I also discuss how the flow of people contributed to my experience.

[sembrais]

A journey to Acknowledging My Uniqueness  and Accepting My Physical Form

Coming to terms with what I look like hasn’t been an easy journey for me but, is it easy for anyone? Ever since my younger years, I’ve struggled with my weight. I remember being among the bigger girls in elementary which imitated my self-consciousness towards my body. This, led to me becoming very self-defensive and tough, knowing already at a young age that being overweight put me in a vulnerable place to be picked on, which led to the development of my strong character which helped me avoid people belittling me. I remember that I always wore a jacket, sweater or hoodie to cover up my arms because I detested the way they looked. As I switched schools for middle school, my self-esteem worsened along with my bad habits. My classmates would question me on why I always wore a jacket and I would vaguely brush off the question not being able to express my inner struggles. The age range between 12-16 years is one where for me, I was constantly aware of how people perceived me, and how people around me looked. Seeing the difference between how my skinnier classmates where treated, for example, how other kids leaned towards being with the thin beauty standard people versus me, hurt. As my insecurities grew, my defensiveness grew primarily towards boys. Growing up and even till this day I rarely have had any male friends. And reflecting on this defensiveness I believe it’s due to how girls are raised and trained to value the male opinion over anything, we are cultivated to fit their desires, and we are taught that they have more power over us than our own selves. So, I think I built my character up to block any relations with males so I wouldn’t get hurt since their input on a woman has been socially structured to be powerful. Also, males are constructed to have a crude and ruthless opinion because they are “entitled to it” which makes them think they can say whatever they please. In addition, I avoided them because I fear rejection, something about being denied shatters my emotions into tiny pieces. Now, fast forward to my present self, who is more aware of her actions, surroundings and has a better understanding of her emotions and societal constructions, I still struggle around males. Although I have tried to break out of my bubble and not shut myself out from experiences. But real talk, being a female, young and fat is not the beauty wave of our society. Most men, humans in general, don’t lean towards the fat girl when thinking about who they want to date, especially us younger people who tend to be more superficial and value looks equally or maybe even more than personality. So, I’ve found myself stuck in a mirror maze trying to escape from my old habits but falling back in the same spot because I am trapped in my insecurities, and afraid of getting hurt, which has led me to miss out/avoided certain experiences. Once I entered college, I started having experiences with boys, and I have found myself questioning if some don’t take me seriously because of my weight, are they afraid of what other people might think about us if we were to form a formal relationship? And I plant this question because it’s something that I myself have thought about, since most men I’ve had some sort of interest in are leaner than me, and I’m always consumed by what other people are thinking when they see us together. I also wonder do they talk to me because I am the way I am, and they think that I am more vulnerable why makes it easier to manipulate me because I am not the norm of desire?

I’ve had many times where I would cry because I was repulsed by my reflection, times where I wanted to starve myself, to be skinny. But, I unconsciously decided to invest in healing myself around the ninth grade when I was casually scrolling on a Tumblr travel blog of one of my favorite persons at that time, Jay Alvarrez. I had recently discovered his blog and he had a lot of question and answers posts which I indulged in reading most of them. He seemed very insightful and invested in his journey on this world. Out of the many posts I stumbled upon one, where he was asked about insecurities. In his response all I can remember is him stating that insecurities are a waste of time and basically investing energy in something that deep down is trivial should be energy invested in cultivating something bigger and greater for ourselves.  Those few words suddenly hit my brain like a rock. Something so simple, impacted me in a way that it cultivated the start of a journey to self-love. I started with technique as my best friend calls it “fake it till’ you make it” mechanism. I would wake up every day, acknowledge my existence, the body I was blessed with, look into the mirror and speak positive words even though I didn’t believe them back then. But words contain a huge amount of power and just by the desire of wanting to improve your reality you can manifest greatness, which is what I did.  

 I felt a strong attachment to Nalo Hopkinson’s “A Habit of Waste” because I myself could relate to the character’s body image struggle. I have found myself in the character’s position where she sees others with traits like hers’ and being able to acknowledge how well that person looks with those physical aspects yet, struggling with accepting them on herself. I think she realized that self-love is a journey indeed, that involves a lot of ups and downs, and that it takes time to start accepting things you’ve been neglecting for a while.  Something that I myself am partaking.

References:

Hopkinson, N. (2018). Skin folk: Stories. New York, NY: Open Road Integrated Media.

[sembrais]

In the middle of dying my hair, I declare, I am not my hair.

A typical characteristic people know me for or define me by is my constant switch up of hairstyles. From long hair to short hair, curly to straight and braids. My most recent hairstyle was a bob length cut with straight bangs, something I always wanted to try without having to fully commit, which made rocking it on a wig ten times better. Underneath, I wore my hair in braids giving my natural hair time to rest and grow. This basically was my hairstyle since the start of the semester up until two months or so. I decided that it’s been long enough. I needed my real hair to breathe from underneath the cap. But let me tell you, the process of removing and undoing is not easy for me. As I undid my braids, I was back to the reality I love to avoid; dealing with my curly afro. I spent around a rough hour trying to brush out all the hair that had been accumulated in those maybe three months of having my hair in cornrows and detangling superficially all the knots. I finally finished after a strenuous period of time and I felt a sense of happiness and slightly nostalgic because deep down I missed my “unruly” hair.  

Now, remembered when I mentioned a few sentences above that this process isn’t easy for me? Well, that’s because wearing my natural hair out in public isn’t something I’m comfortable with.  Let’s go back a few years to up to where I can remember, around age nine, my hair was already relaxed, but as I wrote this post I called my mom and asked her at what age did I get my first relaxer, and it was when I was six. The fact that I basically wasn’t aware of anything at that age, and for such a crucial thing to be done to my hair has left me in an awe. My mom explained to me now, that she didn’t want to relax my hair but, it was a moment of desperation since at that time, my grandma (her mom) was very sick so, she had to go the United States and attend her, so I was left with my dad who apparently did not know how to “manage” my hair, which led to the choice of “permanently” straightening my hair with a chemical.  I tend to reflect back and think, what if I never relaxed my hair as I child, would I had asked for it in my teenage years? How long would my hair be? Could I had avoided all the different phases I went through? And by phases, I mean hair phases. The first one was in the sixth grade barely twelve years old, I became very keen of YouTube and in the many categories of videos I watched, I discovered, along with my mom, the natural hair community.  I remember that this had been an outburst of women with hair similar to mine, doing big chops and embracing their natural. The videos ranged from transitioning from relaxed to natural, hair products they used, protective styles, and many more things. I was very impressed and felt very inspired to do my own big chop and grow my hair free of chemicals. I remember my mom had stopped relaxing my hair for a while, due to us both getting involved into the natural hair community, so, I decided one day in 2010 to ask my mom to cut off the bits of relaxer I had left. I remember the following day to be one of emotional stress and anxiety.  

The fact that I had done something so major, something I in no way recognized to be apart of my everyday life, became it. I feared what my classmates would think and how they would perceive me, which led to me wearing a hoodie to “cover up” my puff as if that would help. I remember being asked by my classmates why wouldn’t I take the hood off, and all I can remember is my sense of shame and discomfort.

Next stop, the seventh grade, I had to attend a totally new school with people I didn’t know. The very first day, I decided to “hide my identity” and straighten my hair; from this time forward, it turned into a vicious cycle. I became somewhat ashamed of my naturally curly hair and constantly flat ironed my hair weekly, sometimes more than once in the same week. Reflecting on the reasons, I guess I did it to fit into the “norm”. There weren’t many black girls in my class and the few that were they didn’t have hair like mine. So, I just kept hiding it, which caused my hair to get damaged and ruined my curl pattern. Eventually, I relaxed my hair again. Fast forward to 2015, the ninth grade, I was fed up with the condition of my hair. I got back to the natural hair community on YouTube, and I decided to take it easy on the heat and grow my hair out and go back to being natural. In July 2015, my hair had grown out quite a bit, and I decided to cut a good amount of my hair off, leaving predominantly natural left with a short space of relaxed ends. Ironically, I straightened my hair right after to see how long it was stretched out. You would think that from here forward my journey was nothing but positive but, it was the total opposite. I still hadn’t come around to accepting myself with my natural hair state so, I went back to my old habits and went back to straightening it frequently and/ or wearing it pulled back in a bun.  This followed up all throughout my first year of college, a year where a lot of my personal growth flourished. I think around my second semester I started to take it a little easier on my hair and started experimenting with new styles which led to me getting braids done on multiple occasions. It seemed like the perfect solution for me since one, I would have to deal with my real hair and secondly, I could let my hair grow in peace without using heat as much. Then in my second year, I was basically forced to not apply any sort of heat on my hair with the coming of María, the hurricane.

The song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtYarYhKa9c

[sembrais]

Trying New Things+ Breaking the Cycle: a Reflection of The Hate U Give

I had wanted to see The Hate U Give ever since I saw the trailer, due to my interest in civil right topics and myself, being black. I found it important to see this movie with the current racial crisis going on in the western world, predominantly in the United States. I finally had the opportunity to go after being occupied with college and work. The fact that I would have to go see it alone wasn’t that pleasant since I had never been to the movies alone. Although this was sort of ironic since most of the times I go out, I’m alone and I enjoy it a lot; but something about the movies freaked me out. Nevertheless, in the end, I was very grateful that I did go alone since in the first five minutes of the movie I was bawling my eyes out. Let me just clear this up, this movie is OUTSTANDING. So many important topics and perspectives about the racial situation of African Americans were planted in this movie in such a fluid manner. I truly enjoyed the fact that the main character was a young female, since its more common to use an older person when it comes to these social issues as if us younger people aren’t affected, concerned, or have the willpower to speak up/ provoke change.  In addition, I appreciated the sequence of development of the character since, she was just  a teen girl who knew about the injustices that happen to people who are of the same racial background as her but, didn’t really put much thought into it because it wasn’t her direct reality until she witnessed one of her best friends being killed by a policeman who racially profiled the both of them. And still, she wasn’t initially ready to speak up, even after learning that the only punishment the policeman was to receive for the moment was being placed on a temporary leave. Starr illustrated how we fear to break out of our shell, she shows how we are selfish by nature, how we are afraid of the consequences of provoking change and breaking out of the norm because we are comfortable in our current reality. But after the impact of the loss of her friend, and the reactions of people around her, she realized that something needed to be done.  

Now, going back to how I was crying during the first five minutes of the film, well, the movie started up with Starr sitting at the table with her two siblings, her mom, and her dad (who is probably my favorite character). In this scene, all of the kids are at a very young age and their receiving “the talk”. Now, the talk in Starr’s home isn’t about sex, it’s about having a confrontation with a white police officer. The dad recites to Starr and her brothers what they should do in case they ever experience this situation, which he basically stated they are bound to since they are black. In the end, the father ends this conversation with the following quote: “Don’t you ever forget that being black is an honor because you come from greatness”. This, for me, was very important, my emotions were all over the place when he said this. To me, it means that even though people who look like you and me (black), go through so much hardship, undervaluing, are systematically trained to think less of ourselves as if it were part of the “natural” hierarchy of society, we should always sit down and reevaluate our worth, we should not forget our ancestors strength, the fights they went through to assure us a better future and overall to not forget that we matter just as any other person does.

Now, I want to talk a little about the father, when we are introduced to him, physically he looks like the stereotypical lower-class black man who is involved in gang violence and is “nothing but trouble”, but right off the bat we see that he is a wise man, who has been in many undesirable situations and wants to see a change in his community. He is also a family first, the man caring about his wife and children more than anything. He was involved in the neighborhood’s leading gang, but after serving time in prison in the leader’s place, he earned his way out of that vicious life, once he got released from prison.  He is one of the primary examples of what I mean by “breaking the cycle”. He learned from that experience that being involved in that type of lifestyle is not beneficial to him or another person and how it also is a form of keeping minorities oppressed and “in place”.   He is very attached to his community because it’s where he grew up, and also, he sees that it is a place that can change and grow into something much better than a gang-infested poor community. In him, I also saw a man who is bound to vulnerability. Just like all of us, while also representing how old habits sometimes are very hard to defeat completely; by having various moments where his old “street habits” re-sync in him when the current gang leader is threatening to hurt his family.

Starr, is the ultimate “breaking the cycle” visionary. Throughout the development of the movie, we can see her growth of wisdom and courage. As seen initially, she was afraid to speak up for her friend, due to how it would affect her daily life and how people from her privileged school would all categorize her as the “poor hood chick” involved in a violent tragedy. Later, she realized how the world around her was bound to repeat these events, that people that looked like her deserve better circumstances, they deserve to live in peace, not in fear. She also realized that gang violence doesn’t help her community at all and that the sense of possession and control the neighborhood gangs had over other people’s lives needed to end in order to make room for growth in the community.  Following along the gang topic, I want to mention a scene where the father was speaking to one of the siblings and was telling them how gangs keep people oppressed and how people in marginalized communities tend to lean towards joining again as a last cry for help to better their reality.

But really, gangs just keep minorities oppressed, I remember him saying something along the lines of when having you seen a gang member leave their neighborhood? Their living conditions aren’t changing at all. And I found that important.

Another important scene for me was when Starr questioned her uncle who is a policeman, on is his personal dynamic when confronting a suspect, to summarize it, her uncle stated that although him being black himself, racially profiles another black man in comparison to a white man. Instead of the black man hands up in the case of thinking they’re reaching for a weapon he would shoot; in contrast, if it were a white man, he would say hands up. This scene symbolized how black people are systematically taught to replicate/reproduce racist prejudices against people with their same racial background.

Towards the final scenes of the movie, there is a very tense scene where pretty much the whole family is having a confrontation with the gang leader and his entourage, whose intents were to hurt predominantly Starr after she told the press that Khalil was working for the Kings. In the heat of the moment where the dad had pulled out his gun and the leader pulled out his gun on him, the smallest son shocked everyone by pulling out a gun while breaking down in tears. Everyone was in awe until Starr spoke up and said enough was enough. She mentioned T.H.U.G which happens to be the abbreviation of the title of the movie and a symbolic element throughout the whole movie “The Hate U Give Little Infants Fuck Everybody” which comes from the famous rapper Tupac. It basically means that what we teach kids and the environment we raise them in, which is a lot of cases is toxic, infuses into their psyche and that’s what they reproduce, which just creates a cycle of hate in our society. Starr, yells out enough and proceeds to mention the phrase above (which was something Khalil taught her), in summary, she mentioned how their actions are actively affecting her little brother and how they are just causing what seems like an endless cycle of hate to be cultivated in the younger generation. She tells them how this can’t continue, that as a black community that is circled by oppression need to unify instead of dividing and creating differences between ourselves on top of the systems subordination of African Americans.

 Initial Scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoDjViOWp0Y

[sembrais]

Fast Fashion and the Exploitation of the Eastern World

Back when I took the second part of the Introduction to Social Sciences, we had watched a documentary called “The True Cost” which unravels the process and goes behind the scenes of clothing production. Now, before this, I had been slightly knowledgeable of the fact that clothing wasn’t made in the most pleasing way but not to an extent that impacted me like this documentary did. As some of you may or may not know, most clothing and overall day to day items are made in Eastern countries like China, Bangladesh, India, Hong Kong, etc. Most large fashion brands like Forever 21, Zara, Fashion Nova, Urban Outfitters, as well as designer brands, depend on thousands of factories to produce thousands of garments daily. This is what defines the term fast fashion, the constant development of new styles in a mass amount weekly, just to satisfy the consumer. But have you ever thought about what type of impacts this can have on the environment? How much water is used to produce these garments, how much land is being used to produce cotton in an unsustainable mechanism using GMO cotton, damaging our lands and potentially harming the cultivators of it, as mentioned in the documentary where a lady talked about how people who’ve worked in the cotton farm got certain diseases like cancer, due to the exposure of these chemicals. Also, we always think about how the things we consume food wise can affect our health, but what about the chemicals in our clothes? Our skin absorbs things so, there is a chance that the very garments we wear can affect our health.  

Another thing discussed in the documentary is how a lot of clothes end up being donated to entities like The Salvation Army, but since the amount is so large many of these organizations end up dumping tons of clothing into empty lands creating clothing wastelands in countries like the Dominican Republic or Haiti. When I saw this, I was enraged. What makes these organizations think they can just dispose of items in a country that’s not as developed as the United States? This made me question my consumption habits. Why do we find the need to constantly purchase new garments because I can guarantee you, that most people including myself, don’t do it out of necessity, but out of capitalistic desire.

The last point I want to discuss is the labor behind the clothing production. In these thousands of factories are crammed hundreds of workers in buildings that don’t meet safety regulations, are overworked, by working an inhumane number of hours and having to meet the exploited producing demands for the day. On top of that, these people are paid a miserable wage. Many of these factory workers earn less than 75 cents per hour. Imagine earning less than $10 per day. Doesn’t seem pleasing at all right?  Some companies do this to keep the consumer attracted by selling clothes really cheap yet, this is still is an incoherent excuse because companies like Nike who recruit to this form of exploitation have paid around 15 cents per hour to factory workers in the Dominican Republic yet sell most shoes from $70-300. This just shows how greedy corporations are and how they contribute to the inequity of wealth. They hog up all the money, not caring how it impacts other people’s lives.

When we read “Below Deck” and “Homelands” I instantly connected these readings to the fast fashion dynamic. Many of these workers have tried to speak up about the conditions they are working in, yet, there hasn’t been much of a change in the labor dynamic. Many of these people dream of living a more livable life just as the cruise ship worker did in “Below Deck” and the thousands of people who migrate from the Eastern to more developed countries as mentioned in “Homelands”. It sucks how most of us living in Western developed countries make living a decent life for the other so hard. Why must we put boundaries for those trying to escape the injustices in their home countries and build a better life for themselves more complicated, why does our privilege prevent us from stepping out of our bubble and helping the other transform their reality? How come when people coming from these underdeveloped countries enter the Western World, they are treated as inferior. They are offered conditions that are better in comparison to their home countries yet are still a misery if we compare it to the Western world’s standard living conditions, which for example, happens with cruise ship workers coming from Eastern countries. Can’t we establish people as equals and work towards improving the quality of life for everybody and not just offer them a drop of improvement?

What I want anyone who reads this post to do is ask yourself, how are you contributing to these injustices and how can you reduce your contribution, I’m not asking you to stop purchasing clothes all together but to really analyze why are you purchasing certain things, investigate alternatives and how can your voice and monetary contribution make an impact on these companies for them to realize they need to change their dynamics.

References:

Faris, S. (2015, April 28). Homelands. Retrieved from http://reprints.longform.org/homelands-deca

Morgan, A. (Writer). (n.d.). The True Cost [Video file].

Presser, L. (2017, March 21). Below Deck. Retrieved from https://story.californiasunday.com/below-deck

[sembrais]

Gender Persona: Making One’s Self Visible

     I really enjoyed Hedwig and the Angry Inch, especially because I could relate diverse topics that have been discussed in my feminist theory and methodology class as well as the ongoing discussion on different social media platforms regarding gender. Something that has been a formulating debate in my mind is how we live performing a certain structure/image just as Hedwig. We do this because we are taught that do to our anatomy, we must “perform” for the world in a certain manner. But who decided that certain aspects should be merged into “natural” traits of a man or woman? It baffles me a little how these social structures start from such a young age, from gender reveal parties, to picking out clothing, room designs according to the sex of the child, and how objects and one’s gender and as well sexuality have been intertwined. For example, a boy or girl like toys “made for” the opposite (whatever that is), are prone to be identified as a non-heterosexual.

     In my feminist theory class, we’d discussed Judith Butler’s text “Undoing Gender”, a book where she plants different concepts and paradigms related to gender. Something that struck out to me is that she mentions how one partakes in these categories to get a sense of acknowledgment by the other, a sense of existence, as in being able to be recognized by the other make’s life more livable. She talks about how some sort of conflict is formed when the observer can’t seem to identify what’s in front of them. That’s why the whole concept of non-gender conforming/ gender fluidity is a troubling concept for some people to grasp. It’s as if people feel like they have some sort of ownership over how your physical expression should be.

     I think the figure of Hedwig represents the concept of gender fluidity splendidly, I think they (Hedwig) didn’t feel the complete as a woman or as man, but they felt the need to latch onto one or the other to fulfill  their needs of being recognized and of course, accepted by the other, which is a human tendency, which as Judith Butler says, makes life more livable. But, towards the ending we see how Hedwig, breaks up with both identities that are illustrated throughout the movie, as if they were reborn into their true form, one that isn’t chained down to boundaries, one that isn’t concerned about complying to the divisionary categories man has made up. I think we should all take from Hedwig, that we should express our inner selves to the world however we desire. It doesn’t have to be in a monochromatic form. We should break boundaries and express ourselves for ourselves and not solely for the purpose of being accepted by others.

[sembrais]

The Web Effect: Animal Agriculture

I’ve been vegetarian a little over three years now, and it still is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.  Many people tend to ask me what my motives are; most assuming only ethical aspects contribute to the answer, others simply having no clue. With the first assumption comes along the thought that that isn’t a good enough reason to make such a drastic change. Well, the ethical side is one of the reasons why I decided to make the change, but it goes beyond that. As an environmental science major, one of the first things that are talked about are the top polluting contributors and included in that list is guess what? Animal agriculture. This isn’t something that’s been made up by some random person on the web, it is coming from scientists who are experts in the environmental field and know what they’re talking about. Not only do the principal gases emitted like methane contributes to the increase of greenhouse gases which leads to global warming but, the carbon footprint it creates is major. Have you ever wondered how much water and land it takes to produce the meat on your plate? Just to give you a general idea one-third of the water footprint of agriculture is related to animal agriculture (Mekonnen & Hoekstra, 2012). You may not realize it but, we are going through a water crisis, and people in our neighboring countries are feeling the effects more than ever. The augmentation of the water footprint puts our fresh water sources in even more risk.

    The third component of my triangle of reasons and maybe the most impacting for me is health factors. Some common facts about meat consumption and animal derivatives are that it is related to certain health issues like cancer, heart disease, high cholesterol, clogged arteries, osteoporosis and many more which I won’t get into detail at this moment.

   I enjoy watching documentaries related to veganism, so I decided to watch one called What the Health, which was recommended to me by a friend. In summary, this documentary opened my eyes about many things despite already possessing knowledge of many things related to the animal agriculture industry.  Not only did I learn about new health research, but it allowed me to make a more critical analysis of how the animal agriculture industry is a capitalistic driven entity and one that also sources oppression. Yes, I said oppression. I found this idiosyncratic at first, yet the pieces came together later.  The documenter visits Duplin County, North Carolina, home of a bunch of pig farms. There are roughly around 10 million pigs producing daily waste that’s equal to 100 million humans. This has created a major situation where the waste is being dumped into water entities like rivers and is being pumped out unfiltered into fields. Now yes, animal feces is positive on the soil in controlled quantities because it contains certain nutrients necessary, but when it is at a high uncontrolled amount like what’s going on in the animal agriculture industry, it has a completely opposite effect. Same, as the fecal waste running into a body of waters, can cause eutrophication, a process where an excessive amount of nutrients causes the growth of algae at an excessive rate which leads to an oxygen deficiency, causing other marine species’ population to reduce and die (Botkin & Keller, 2014). Most of these farms and waste disposals are situated near lower income and minority composed neighborhoods. In one scene he visits this lady who has lived in the community for quite a while and she explains the community situation. It is shown how literally no more than 50 feet from her house is a bin filled with dead pigs. She explains how that bin stays there all week rotting until the usual man, in charge of picking it up comes by to take them. These pigs are ground up and fed to the pigs in the farms. Now, just think about it, those dead pigs have a high chance of carrying diseases, and they’re just sitting there developing into an even more atrocious state. Yet, these dead animals are fed to pigs that are eventually killed for consumption. Don’t you think that’s a little off? The pigs that consume this old meat, are probably living in an unsanitary condition, and on top of that are ingesting this meat that will probably create some sort of negative effect on them. Now, this is a health hazard to humans directly and indirectly. The people who consume this meat are prone to health risks. And the people living in these communities also are affected. The lady talks about all her close family members who’ve lived in the neighborhood, how they all suffer from some sort of condition like asthma or some bacteria caused condition.

    Going back to how I mentioned that oppression being linked to this industry, I think it is. If we put the pieces together and reflect, when have we ever seen these types of farms situated in predominantly white, an upper-class neighborhood? Also, the people who work at these farms, not only meat and dairy but overall agriculture. It tends to be minorities. Communities that are usually used as objects to produce and are not taken into consideration when it comes to their quality of life. These industries are willingly putting peoples lives at risk, in these unsanitary, disease infested bubbles and probably not paying them a fair wage. This is a major form of keep minorities down. In conclusion, we must think twice about how our contributions affect our daily lives, others, and future generations because everything unravels in a web effect.

References:

Botkin, D. B., & Keller, E. A. (2014). Environmental Science: Earth as a Living Planet (9th ed.). Hoboken: Wiley.

Films, A. (n.d.). Retrieved December 6, 2018, from http://www.whatthehealthfilm.com/

Mekonnen, M.M. & Hoekstra, A.Y. Ecosystems (2012) 15: 401.  https://doi.org/10.1007/s10021-011-9517-8

Swine Facts. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.riverlaw.us/realhogfacts.html

#what the health #veganism #vegetarian #plant pased #enviroment #global warming #climate change #green spaces #ssustainability #awarness

[sembrais]

When Political Meets the Personal” Plantón 23N”

   I decided to attend a manifestation in front of the governor’s home against gender influenced violence, on November 23, 2018, two days before the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.  This manifestation was born from the “Colectiva Feminista en Construcción”, a political group focused on fighting against heteropatriarchy, anti-black violence, and capitalism.  Throughout the years, there has been a splurge in the number of cases in these matters, some ending in deaths. For this year, around 23 women have died due to gender violence. A rate that has escalated much more in comparison to last year. Another important aspect that was highlighted/pointed out by the collective, is the number of rape kits that have not been processed, an estimated amount of 2,000+. The purpose of this manifestation was to get the governor to sign an executive order and declare a state of emergency regarding this. The whole point is to get the government to address the matter and put efforts into fighting against it. Most people ask themselves why should the government get involved in that? Isn’t this a matter that’s addressed individually, and privately? Well, I will answer these questions but later, in the post. Beforehand, I want to talk about my general experience and the end results of the protest.

    I arrived around 4:30pm, the protest was planned to initiate around 4:00pm but, when I arrived the other protestors seemed to have just started to march towards the capital, which was great for me because it allowed me to catch up with them quickly. I went alone, which is something my past self would have probably avoided, due to the nature of the event, and by that I mean it could easily shift into something non-pacific, which happened the first time I went to a protest (another story to be told eventually), and also I tend to get anxious when I’m surrounded by a large group of people. But as I’ve become more and more conscious of things. I’ve learned that you can’t wait for others to produce change, I must cultivate my own grain and so, I decided I would go even if it meant being alone.  

As I approached the crowd, I felt a little warm inside seeing the number of people of all ages and genders unite for a specific purpose. I also saw a few familiar faces from college, which I appreciated. This might seem a bit contradictory but, I was sort of hoping more people would’ve shown up. And I say this because to me this is such a serious issue, that should worry the whole country. It is an issue that should’ve provoked the presence of thousands of people at “La Fortaleza”.  As we walked upwards San Francisco St. towards Fortaleza St., there was a good number of tourists alongside “Plaza de Armas” with their phones and cameras recording what was going on. And I’m pretty sure most were surprised to have stumbled upon a protest on a day of their vacation. One thing that I found curious about them observing, filming, photographing the “spectacular” is that barely anyone bothered to ask what was going on, and why we were protesting, even though the organizer of the movement took the time to explain our claims in English as we walked, through a bullhorn. We finally reached the Fortaleza St. and were welcomed by a barricade of cops blocking passage to the very front of the gate of the governor’s residence. We arrived in chants and at that moment they intensified even more. As we continued our singing chants, the organizer Shariana Ferrer and other contributors took the time to talk about our purpose of being there, and still, the silence of the governor remained. A few people started setting up tents since the plan was to not leave until the governor signed the executive order. Among the few tents, one was specifically a mini daycare tent, for those who brought their children to the manifestation. I found this so important, because the reality of our society puts women as the “natural” caretakers of children, and many women find themselves in the situation where they want to participate in things that are important, that regard them, but don’t have anyone to take care of their children, etc. So, I found this act as a one of solidarity, which should be incorporated into our day to day lives. Around 6:00pm, there was a mini-performance session of “bomba y plena”, where a group of women along with a male vocalist were performing bomba and plena songs related to Puerto Rico’s social problems. I found myself immersed into this, catching along quickly and singing along with them. I found this a very creative form to show resistance to the injustices of our society. Around 7:00pm there was a recess which allowed people to take a little break and eat. In addition to the list of great things, the “Comedores Sociales”, a social organization I am very fond, which primarily focuses on providing sustainable meals to the community without people having to give a monetary fund obligatorily, overall, it’s another solidarity movement. Around this period, I felt very anxious since I didn’t really have anything to participate or distract myself with since I was alone. Therefore, I was really focused on observing my environment and in between the many things I saw, something that struck out to me was the amount of indifferent and apathetic people coming around the area to see if they could take a picture with the umbrellas near the Fortaleza house, which are a popular tourist attraction for locals.  Others, just coming to eat at restaurants nearby or enter the shops close by as well. I would hear people saying this like “Oh, apparently it’s blocked off and they’re not letting people pass” but showed no interest in knowing what’s going on or why, or if they already knew not caring whatsoever about it. I was filled with rage and sadness at that period. Around 8:00pm I decided to leave because I felt too anxious.

The manifestation continued all throughout Saturday, until Sunday, when the Governor finally acknowledged (although in a bare minimum manner) the demands of us women, by sending one of his representatives to attend the leaders of the collective and discuss the proposals. The last thing I’ve read in regard to what has been discussed and/or established is that some of the components of the proposal of the collective can be implemented in the government, but other components of the executive order do not match up or balance out with other things (which weren’t specified) that have been implemented in the past (El Nuevo Día, 2018). To me, it seems that we’re just going to be stuck in the same place because the governor does not fully understand how important it is to address this matter in an active way.

For 2017, there was a total of 8,473 documented incidents of domestic violence, where 7,114 of them were composed of female victims. Out of these, 3,166 were ordered by the fiscal to press charges and finally, 1,163 resulted in convictions (Policia de Puerto Rico, 2018). Here is a link where there is a graph which illustrates the number of rapes reported for the years of 2016 and 2017. http://periodismoinvestigativo.com/2018/05/datos-oficiales-de-violencia-contra-la-mujer-en-puerto-rico-no-son-confiables-despues-del-huracan-maria/ Beware that this data isn’t completely accurate for the year of 2017, due to the passing of Maria, since, as the occurrence of a natural disaster, crimes of this matter incremented, yet there was a deficiency (as always) on behalf of the police and overall collapse of the infrastructure to keep track of the cases (Tighe & Gurley, 2018)

Now I provided this small amount of data to answer the question mentioned earlier in this post. Why should this matter be addressed by the government? If you take a look, the sequence of the events is made in a large scale, it’s not just a small amount of cases, we're talking about hundreds, if not thousands of crimes like this being committed against women. Which we can relate to this statement: “The political is personal” meaning, that these things that happen at a macro scale which implies it’s happening socially, not individually are produced by the systematic structure, which in this case is a patriarchal one. This structure is composed of formatted laws and practices which have been naturalized by time but indeed, are not natural. That’s why we say that gender influenced violence which is thought out to be “private” matter, is public. Because it affects our society in a macro manner and is cultivated out of an accumulation of micro/macro patriarchal influences that are societal and governmentally based. And we see these patriarchal cultivations in our government day to day, for example, when Ricardo Roselló and Julia Keleher eliminated the gender perspective curriculum because it supposedly held no sense of direction or concretized purpose. But the truth behind that speech is a conservative male constructed voice. One that is afraid of change and closed to the problematization of our power structures, gender conformities and many other things (Córtes, 2018).

References:

Caro, L. (2018, November 27). Debaten ideas para erradicar la violencia machista en la isla. Retrieved from https://www.elnuevodia.com/noticias/locales/nota/debatenideasparaerradicarlaviolenciamachistaenlaisla-2462043/

Córtes, R. (2018, November 30). Rosselló defiende decisión de eliminar currículo de perspectiva de género. Retrieved from https://www.elnuevodia.com/noticias/politica/nota/rossellodefiendedecisiondeeliminarcurriculodeperspectivadegenero-2462748/

Estadísticas sobre Violencia Doméstica. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://policia.pr.gov/estadisticas-de-violencia-domestica/

Tighe, C., & Gurley, L. (2018, May 09). Datos oficiales de violencia contra la mujer en Puerto Rico no son confiables después del huracán María. Retrieved from http://periodismoinvestigativo.com/2018/05/datos-oficiales-de-violencia-contra-la-mujer-en-puerto-rico-no-son-confiables-despues-del-huracan-maria/

#feminism #feminism in puerto rico #colectiva feminista en construccion #manifestation #protest

[sembrais]

The Erased Presence of Black Women: The Black Panthers Party

    Being a black woman, I’ve always been conscious of the muffled forms black females are excluded, neglected and rejected in our society.  From media ads to movies, fashion, politics you name it, one common trait is the invisibility of the black female. Yes, in these recent years a wave of inclusion has emerged yet, I question the purity of it. Is it capitalisms’ way of protecting its consumer base by giving in to the demands of the people so that they can keep generating big figures? Or companies are being occupied by conscious people? Regardless, there is a lot of patterns to be undone and educating to be cultivated in order to transform drastically into a more inclusive society.

    For this semester, one of the classes I decided to take was a feminist theory and methodology class, and out of the many things we’ve talked about, one was the suffrage movement. Something that stuck with me, was that even though feminisms’ main subject focus is women, the questions and doubts come up about feminism and how some sectors just focus on white privileged women and cancel out intersectionality, which include all women, being of color, trans, queer, etc. and separate them as a different category as if they weren’t women at all. All this is something I could go in more depth to, but something even more impacting that I’ve come to discover is how black women during the suffrage movement (although still happening in 2018) faced opposition to their claims, objectification and interiorization by their own community, from black men. (Bryson, 2003). Now, imagine facing injustices and oppression due to the color of your skin but, on top of that, more oppression emitted from an oppressed sector.

More specifically I want to talk about the Black Panthers Party, founded in the late 60’s by two male college students, Huey Newton and Bobby Seale as a way of fighting against police brutality against African Americans (History, 2017). Something that most people don’t know is that the predominance of woman in the party was strongly high. But even their fellow male comrades invisibilized their collaboration and proceeded to valorize the patriarchal order of revolution being tied to men only. After the leader of the party exiled to Cuba, its first female leader, Elaine Brown was appointed (New York Times, 2017). Brown has expressed that during her leadership, her authority was often questioned by male figures, due to her gender. And she found herself having to reciprocate patriarchal mannerisms in which men tend to respond to, in order to minimize their questioning.  In her book , A Taste of Power  she mentions “If a black woman assumed the role of leadership, she was said to be eroding black manhood by hindering the progress of the black race”. This quote just makes me infuriated, but one thing I can interpret  from it is fear. One thing that is common in people who tend to subordinate, and discriminate others is that they fear. Fear that they’re privilege is going to be questioned and taken away. Fear to learn something different from what they’re told. This quote express clearly, how men are raised into thinking they are supposed to be the dominant one’s in every situation and if they aren’t in possession of the situation their masculinity starts to be erased and distorted.  In one of her many statements, she mentions how men felt like her being in command was a threat and that it made them question their relationships with other females in the party and how they address to them.  There’s a quote where she says that one of the men was saying that they can no longer call women bitches (The Lily, 2018). It awes me how someone (in this case African American men) who’s having a direct experience of oppression and inequality and is conscious that it’s unfair and illogical, yet actively participates in doing the same against someone who already receives the same discrimination and undermining as you.

    Brown also states how back then, she didn’t really identify with feminism due to, what I mentioned earlier about it being only for a certain type of woman, the middle-class white woman, which was at that time how feminism was being projected by radical feminists (O’Gara, 1994).  In addition, she mentions how she didn’t always speak up about female subordination in the party. Which is a common tendency in woman because we are structured to stay “in our place” when it comes to addressing a man. What I’m trying to get to is, that this, needs to change. We black women and women in general, need to denounce these actions. And more specifically, I want my fellow black women to realize that feminism is for all of us. That the presence and participation of every woman is necessary if we want to overthrow this patriarchal structure and provoke the questioning of power dynamics in order to progress.

References:

Bryson, V. (2003). Feminist political theory: An introduction. New York: Paragon House.

History.com Editors. (2017, November 3). Black Panthers. Retrieved December 8, 2018, from https://www.history.com/topics/civil-rights-movement/black-panthers

O’Gara, D. (n.d.). Voices of Color-Invisible Women: Sexism in the Black Panther Party. Retrieved December 8, 2018, from http://socialism.com/fs-article/voices-of-color-invisible-women-sexism-in-the-black-panther-party/

Thelilynews. (2018, January 12). The first and only woman to lead the Black Panther Party - The Lily. Retrieved December 8, 2018, from https://www.thelily.com/the-first-and-only-woman-to-lead-the-black-panther-party/

Tillet, S. (2017, December 21). The Panthers' Revolutionary Feminism. Retrieved December 8, 2018, from https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/04/movies/the-panthers-revolutionary-feminism.html

#feminism #black feminism #inserctionality #diversity #socialist feminism #black panthers party #revolution #black experience

[sembrais]

Interview with Stephanie from Peace n’ Loaf:

    Every Saturday at the “Museo de San Juan” located in Old San Juan, there is an agricultural market which features a lovely number of local farmers and culinary devotees selling things they cultivate and/or make! I tend to assist frequently, due to my particular interest in supporting local initiatives and movements and overall sustainable businesses. Moreover, since I work close to the market, I have even more a reason to stop by. As my visits grew, I became fond of a particular table at a market; Peace n’ Loaf. I am a huge bread lover and once I found out that they had a diverse flavorful vegan selection as well, it was love at first bite. I had heard of Peace n’ Loaf years back even when I wasn’t vegetarian but still was interested in finding out more about this lifestyle. It was practically the only vegetarian place I knew was existent in Puerto Rico at the time. I was glad when I saw their table for the first time at the market because I had always wanted to try things from the restaurant but never really had gotten the chance to do so.

    I decided that I wanted to interview someone whom I thought would have a great sense of knowledge on sustainability and just overall an alternative lifestyle and habits. So, after being a keen fan of Peace n’ Loaf as well as experiencing the good energy of Stephanie, every time I went and bought something, I knew that I wanted to interview her. On November 17th I had the honor to interview Stephanie, the co-owner of the well-known vegetarian joint Peace n’ Loaf.  It was a lovely experience to get to hear her express her visions and opinions on certain topics I had selected to include in my questions.  Also, the dynamic of pursuing the interview was quite quirky, due to that it was a rush of her managing the table, attending customers to coming back to me to record the next question while dealing with the overall crowd noises.

 Here is the interview with Stephanie, I hope you enjoy!

      Some final reflective words on this interview, I must confess that towards the end I felt slightly emotional (in a positive manner). The fact that I got to experience such an insightful mindset with someone who I didn’t know on a personal level but, have presented this person physically in multiple occasions was amazing. To know that people like Stephanie are surrounded by me that they exist on this island is truly heartwarming. This interview gave me a spark of positivity and hope for the future of the society I exist in; that there are still people willing to transform from within to cultivate great things to the exterior.

Once again, thank you, Stephanie!

#vegetarian #vegan #alternative lifestyle #sustainability #growth #sustainable lifestyle #Non gmo #monsanto #change #vissionarydiscussions

[sembrais]

The New In between the Old- Santurce

The New In between the Old- Santurce, San Juan

    As I arrived at the Sagrado Corazón station (commuting on the train). Sagrado Corazón is a common space for the Santurce community since public transportation defines the environment a lot. From this, we can have some sort of insight into the socio-economic structure of the space. I headed to the bus stop to wait for the bus that would take me through the Ponce de León Avenue which is part of the area of Santurce. As I wait in the hot sun standing under a tiny piece of shade reflected by the roof of the already occupied small seating, I observe that I was mainly standing in between old people, with the occasional young person being a student or a worker. Despite the contrast in age, a common quality I’ve spotted in all these people is a sense of drainage, maybe due to the incompetence of public transportation or simply because of day to day personal matters. I presence two people selling sweet treats to sustain their families or themselves; one was a man who happened to be on the train with, whom I had purchased one of his packed “besitos de coco” who happened to be waiting for the same bus as I, and later on a lady selling chocolate wafer bars. Both people emitted a sense of desperation to get people to help them, a scream for compassion. After a tiresome wait, the bus finally arrives and I aboard for my adventure through the city.

    Staring through the window the images I first perceive are people roaming through the sidewalks mainly middle-aged men, students and abandoned structures covered in graffiti/ street art. In between these buildings, I start to spot “revamped” or shall I say new spaces that have made their way into the community. I decided to get off a stop close to Ciudadela, “The reimagination of what a city should be.” according to the structure’s philosophy. When I got off the bus two things captured my attention, a new modern café catching one’s attention since being plotted in the middle of dinginess and destruction of abandoned buildings, called “Café Comunión” and a skate shop called “La Paz Skate Shop”. I decided to walk towards the skate shop first. As I approached the store I noticed it wasn’t that big yet, it had a very nice aesthetic. When I entered, who I am assume was the owner of the shop, immediately started talking to me. He asked me if had been to the shop before and I answered no without giving any details of the motives of my visit. He proceeded to give me a little background of the shop saying that it had been opened for three years now, told me if I needed any help or had any questions with anything to let him know, then he told me about a party they were hosting the 27th in the community’s basketball court. It took me to surprise the fact that he mentioned such things as if he knew the motive of my visit. I decided to tell him about my blog project and asked him if I could take pictures which seemed to excite him even more about my visit. As I roamed around the store observing and photographing the surroundings I spot a skateboard isolated on the wall with a short paragraph on it.  In summary, it was a tribute to skateboard shops that have closed and a reflection on how skate shops are the epitome of skate culture, and creative epistemologists to the skater community. Once I finished reading that it gave me an incite of the purpose of this shop. The owner clearly opened that shop to preserve as well as introduce to people a culture of creativity and form of liberation for many.

   I walk past the café mentioned earlier and take a quick glance at the space. Contemporary, fresh and young are the first words that come to mind. The place reeks of young indie or more alternative living people. I don’t put much thought to it and proceed to walk along the sidewalk of Ponce de Leon. A little further down, I spot another café, “Café Espresso”. This one is crammed into a small little location, and clearly one of the oldies of the area, being an old-fashioned structure. In contrast to “Comunión”, the only people in this place were late middle-aged and old people. As soon as I realized this, the first thing that came to mind was why was there such a heavy contrast in age presence in each location? Another thing that stood out is how at Espresso the environment was much noisier and more connected within, and by that, I mean that the flow of conversation was very strong since most people were talking with each other, in contrast to “Comunión”, where most people were in their zone.

    The next place that stood out in the community was “Libros AC”, an independent bookstore. As I walked through the door it’s as if I had a huge room of books to myself. The store was empty (except on the café side), there wasn’t even an employee insight. I browsed through the tables reading the selection titles, which were mainly books in Spanish by latinx authors. Most of the books on the tables were related to cultural, identity and historical themes. As I checked out what was on the shelve I spotted a section dedicated to Puerto Rican authors which counted with a huge selection. This warmed my heart a little because I don’t think that Puerto Rican authors get the exposure they deserve. I spent a good amount browsing through this section, and still, I hadn’t spotted one employee come by the area. This surprised me, it was as if the place didn’t care about the possibility of books being taken, it was just a warm invitation for the community to explore the magic of books. During my visit, I saw a young girl around my age walk in the store and a little after she picked up a book of interest and sat down near the window and started reading it; for some reason, it was a refreshing occurrence. I spotted peculiar items non-related to books on the checkout counter, so I decided to pass by and see. It turned out to be items made here in Puerto Rico. It seemed like a good initiative in solidarity with other local business.

   Right next to the bookstore is this modern lot of food trucks with a large variety of eateries. I decided to take a stroll inside and the first thing I see is a large group of middle-aged people eating at a picnic like table. The concept and diversity of options seem marvelous until you look at the prices of each establishment. It did not come to a surprise that the rates at these places were so high since I already have an internalized prejudice of associating these modern and innovative places appearing in lower class communities as exploiters and modern-day colonizers. The places I previously visited had temporarily brushed off that thought away for a moment but, as I experienced this place the questions resurfaced: Who are these spaces really made for? Are they made to benefit only a certain group of people while deteriorating another? Do the creators come with a vision to help the community and it just shifts into the opposite?

     I eventually got picked up by my parents and proceeded to explore more of the area focusing on urban art while riding in the car. As I mentioned earlier in the essay, once you arrive in Santurce, it’s basically unavoidable to not spot a form of urban art. As we moved in the car further past “la Parada 18” and more into the neighborhoods past the Fernandez Juncos Avenue, the art transforms into something soul awakening. I presence a lot of messages related to colonialism and overall the social context of the community and Puerto Rico as a whole. I can’t help to ask myself, are these expressions a form of confrontation to the system? Or to the people around? Maybe it is just a form of claiming permanency on a community that is theirs and always will be theirs no matter what. Maybe it’s the Santurce way of expressing latinx futurism.

  Pictures will be included in a second post along with more thoughts.

#santurce #street art #apoyalolocal #barrio

[sembrais]

Auto ethnography

I am the person I am due to my surroundings, my culture and society’s overall formation. As I wrote my ideas for this autoethnography, I realized that all the key points that’s influenced the person I used to be and am today, pushed me to go on the journey of awareness I’m partaking. Since I was born in the United States, I tend to wonder in what direction my life would’ve switched if my family and I had not moved to Puerto Rico when I was around 5 years old, back in 2004. What type of cultural influences would I have experimented with and how would they mold my personality and self? People frequently ask me where I’m from, some out of awe due to my English fluency, others because they find my names peculiar, or just simply out of curiosity. Usually, I must detain myself as I meditate on my answer. Even though I was born in the U.S, I am from Puerto Rico and consider myself Puerto Rican. This place has raised me, shaped and changed me. I know more about Puerto Rican culture than American culture yet, this answer still seems to puzzle some people. Irrationally, they expect me to identify with the U.S. My theory on this is due to the “glorification” most Puerto Rican people have over the United States. I must admit, I in some way used to contribute to the inferior view of Puerto Rico, denying my Puerto Rican linkage when people asked me where I was from, thinking that coming from the states automatically meant coming from something “better” which now I’ve realized is a completely erroneous idea.

Further analyzing what has shaped me as a person, I’ve determined certain external factors (regarding my appearance) that influence deeply on my character and how people view me, these being my gender, skin color, and weight. Starting off with my gender, being female in this world is a tough task. Simply because of possessing a different anatomic structure than a male, women must endure oppression, inferiority and injustices in a patriarchal society, in which I partake. The outer world has implemented this idea that I am fragile and less, which does not really affect my character directly, but it has implemented a fear in my soul. A fear to do what I truly want because it is not safe for me to be who I want to be in this man’s world. I have grown up to fear for my life as I walk the streets which is a sad reality, but in my journey of awareness I’ve come to believe that women should not have to submit to a life like this, and I have set a goal to transform my surroundings and break free from these chains of angst. In addition to being female, I am also black, which implies being yet again thrown into a minority pit. In Puerto Rico I have not had a direct experience with racism due to our cultural “diversity” but, that doesn’t mean I have not experienced subtle moments where I’ve been looked down upon and felt another person’s uncomfortableness due to my skin tone. People tend to associate darker tones with lack of civilization and education. My mother’s always been one to tell me that people like “us” must work harder to be successful in this world and it seems like others like me have been frequently told the same. Thinking about how this social stigma has affected me, I can see how in my younger years I used to beat myself up mentally so I could exceed in my education as if I had to learn for others and not myself.

Now, I’ve been fat most of my life. And the societal stigma towards fat people is that automatically you are the unhealthiest person ever, when it comes to beauty standards my body type is usually considered “undesirable” and “unpleasant” and dare someone has a little self-love towards themselves. Most of my life I’ve been pushed to physical insecurities and self-hate due to my weight and feelings of neglection from people when it comes to friendships and romantic interests. It’s been a journey to demolish these negative thoughts about myself and form a new thought pattern accepting my appearance and working towards improving it in a healthy manner.

In totality, these things have caused me to emit some sort of defense shield which provokes people to think I’m unapproachable, stuck up and/or reserved. But the truth is, once people break that thin layer of glass they unravel who I truly am, a woman of strength who has conquered many obstacles that have tried to tear her down and make her kneel to stereotypical standards society and overall culture has tried to mark within her.  The most important thing to me as I embark on a journey of auto realization and awareness is how I am going let my surroundings influence my reality and how I’m going to help transform others.

#me