some-thrilling-heroics

[some-thrilling-heroics]

the purpose of this post is for me to figure some stuff out so i'm open to feedback and discussion

disclaimer: i love Halsin, he's my precious bear man

but damn i am pissed

i started to really dig into the epilogue, specifically that last morning after the brain goodbye scene in the room at the inn where he says he has nine wagons of kids and he will aid the people in Thaniel's realm

sadly i can't find any footage of what he says when Tav goes "oh a community built with your own hands, i'd love to see that" (or something to that extent) bc i think that is the one option that nullifies the goodbye and i think? he just asks if Tav is sure and then happy end bells

but even so

the interaction practically starts with "why does this sound like you're saying goodbye?" - oh that's because he is. at least for now. but Tav can visit, he's very eager for them to visit - and then narrator is like a tenday later Tav went to the commune and then the party invite stuff, not important

and I'm like....

it just hit me how - yes, Halsin has abandonment issues and he wants to help those orphans and all the homeless refugees and all the great stuff but like…… HOW DARE YOU DECIDE FOR ME THAT I DON'T WANNA GO WITH YOU????

watching that on a loop three times seriously hit me hard and i don't like it (as in me, personally, not in the sense that it's bad writing or it makes no sense for him to do that, maybe it does - if somebody can help me wrap my head around that, I would be super grateful bc atm I'm stuck in my own emotional reaction to Halsin making decisions for me)

in my head Tav's response to that should be: fuck you, i don't want to visit - fuck that! i wanna go with you and move in with you bc I love you but i guess you don't really want that huh? oh you do? then I guess we are at an impasse, huh?

bottom line is - what do I want to do with it in my fic?

i could ignore it bc i kinda wanna, i don't want them fighting like that

on the other hand it would be great to have this devolve into a conflict, bc i already sprinkled a few tiny bits of them saying not the best things but then the other kinda steps past it or around it and they are fine, but it would add some realism for them to have a serious disagreement about their (joint) future and about communicating and making decisions and could be something to be revisited as a work in progress for them to grow into as their relationship keeps going

i don't mind exploring difficult shit in my fics, i already decided to commit and give Tav my trauma and it was very cathartic just drafting that bit, and this turning into a conflict could play into that I suppose, could work really well

I guess my problem is the dissonance between Halsin doing that unintentionally bc of his own issues and him generally being very considerate and respectful of others, especially Tav imo, he was perfectly happy to follow their decisions as a leader but now I guess they are no longer the leader and this is his thing, his commune, his new purpose in life and ofc he could never be selfishly happy when he could be doing good things for strangers but like.... i can't grasp that step how from that he goes into "therefore I shall not offer this as a choice for them but instead make that a foregone conclusion that this is goodbye, at least for now" - is it bc asking means risk of rejection and he'd rather reject himself to spare them both the interaction?

sorry this got rambly XD but anyway - thoughts?

#halsin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #epilogue halsin #last time i rambled in a post like that #i got great results so #here's me hoping ;) #pls help

[some-thrilling-heroics]

#flowers #pink

[some-thrilling-heroics]

#baldur's gate 3 #wyll ravengard

[some-thrilling-heroics]

kissing you on the forehead

#lol #animals

[some-thrilling-heroics]

abandonment issues slayyyy

#angst #art #whump #this is so many of my fav charas

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Baldur's Gate 3. Shadowheart and Shar

Dark, prickly, naked faith in…

Call out in the middle of the night For when else would I hear you? Fall out in the cold starlight I can save you if you do You will never walk alone You can always reach me You will never ever walk alone Call me Little Sunshine

Ghost

Commissions are Open!

#shadowheart #art #shar #baldur's gate 3

[some-thrilling-heroics]

Reblog so everyone can hear what they need.

#writing #positivity

[some-thrilling-heroics]

One aspect of Halsin's epilogue dialogue with a solomanced player that sticks out to me is Halsin saying that he fears coming will turn out to be a mistake, before explaining that he took the player from a life of high adventure to one that can be described as anything but. And then after being reassured, he says that he still expects to stir from the dream, or that part of him fears something MUST go wrong, depending on the option the player chooses.

Meaning... he had thought about this before and had wondered if it as a good idea, and had concluded that it possibly wouldn't. That going would quite possibly- maybe even probably- make the player realize they weren't happy with him anymore, leave him, and return to their life of high adventure. That he'd "stir from the dream" and be alone once more, because surely no one would actually continue to choose him? Surely he's too happy, surely something in his life must go wrong eventually?

He literally fears that going to the party could result in the player leaving him, and he still does it anyway not only because he loved and missed their traveling companions that much, but because he knows if that is what the player chooses, he'll have to respect it, even if it will utterly gut him in the process.

"You could have done anything. Gone with anyone. Yet you chose me."

And in that is an unspoken question- why? Did you really mean it?

And then... the player reassures him. They promise him they're happy. That they never looked back, that they chose him for a reason.

And maybe he's still afraid of stirring from the dream, but he at least knows it's going to last a bit longer.

#halsin #epilogue halsin #traumatized halsin #baldur's gate 3

[some-thrilling-heroics]

One aspect of Halsin's epilogue dialogue with a solomanced player that sticks out to me is Halsin saying that he fears coming will turn out to be a mistake, before explaining that he took the player from a life of high adventure to one that can be described as anything but. And then after being reassured, he says that he still expects to stir from the dream, or that part of him fears something MUST go wrong, depending on the option the player chooses.

Meaning... he had thought about this before and had wondered if it as a good idea, and had concluded that it possibly wouldn't. That going would quite possibly- maybe even probably- make the player realize they weren't happy with him anymore, leave him, and return to their life of high adventure. That he'd "stir from the dream" and be alone once more, because surely no one would actually continue to choose him? Surely he's too happy, surely something in his life must go wrong eventually?

He literally fears that going to the party could result in the player leaving him, and he still does it anyway not only because he loved and missed their traveling companions that much, but because he knows if that is what the player chooses, he'll have to respect it, even if it will utterly gut him in the process.

"You could have done anything. Gone with anyone. Yet you chose me."

And in that is an unspoken question- why? Did you really mean it?

And then... the player reassures him. They promise him they're happy. That they never looked back, that they chose him for a reason.

And maybe he's still afraid of stirring from the dream, but he at least knows it's going to last a bit longer.

#halsin #😭😭😭 #epilogue halsin #traumatized halsin #angsty halsin #baldur's gate 3

[some-thrilling-heroics]

just need to finish one scene and Hungry Heart is gonna be complete, holy fuck! 😳😌😁😱🥳

we are at 47k now, how did I ever believe this thing could close in under 20k? 😩

reminder to self: no, I will not come up with a new scene for chapter 4, no I will not come up with a new scene....

#halsin #mine #bg3 #behold I wrote a thing

[some-thrilling-heroics]

I chose you for a reason, and have never looked back.

(read this post for my thoughts on this dialogue)

#come here and let me hug you #halsin #bg3 dialogue #angsty halsin #epilogue halsin #baldur's gate 3

[some-thrilling-heroics]

omg. this is one of THE photos of all time. i’m obsessed. hang it in the louvre.

#doctor who #fourteen #the meep #donna noble #rose noble #sylvia noble #jacqueline king #yasmin finney #catherine tate #miriam margolyes #david tennant

[some-thrilling-heroics]

It will always be sooo funny to me that in every route, every origin except his own, Astarion needs the most babysitting or he goes off the deep end, gets himself killed if you don't recruit him, etc etc

EXCEPT DARK URGE, wherein he sees the ONE person on Earth that is such an incredible wreck that it inspires him to become the stable one in the relationship

Absolutely fucking hilarious 10/10 no notes

#the dark urge #lol #astarion #baldur's gate 3

[some-thrilling-heroics]

The man we can thank for the leg thing, ladies and gentlemen.

This game. I can’t.

#baldur's gate 3 #lol #the leg thing

[some-thrilling-heroics]

A stolen glance, that sudden heartbeat... Sometimes the little things are worth more than kingdoms.

#baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep

[some-thrilling-heroics]

NEURODIVERGENCE WRITING TIPS!

by @scaryinclusive.

topic: c-ptsd & ptsd. symptom discussed: nightmares.

to begin with, it's important to make the distinction between c-ptsd and ptsd. just because c-ptsd means complex-post traumatic stress disorder doesn't mean ptsd isn't complex on its own. the most notable difference is that, while ptsd is typically brought on by a single, traumatic event, c-ptsd is chronic trauma, that has been drip-fed over time ( long-term ) or that occurred repeatedly over a period of time. it could be easy to confuse the two, or not make a point of defining them, however they are different conditions and require differing support and treatments.

it is entirely possible to develop both disorders together, from a singular event alongside a long-term series of events. because of many of their symptoms being shared / similar, typically time-frame is the deciding factor in diagnosis. that being said, c-ptsd may require prolonged, more intensive treatment due to the traumatic event occurring repeatedly or for a long time, effectively being more complex to overcome. here is a useful link further explaining the differences, similarities and treatments of c-ptsd and ptsd.

one symptom common in both disorders is re-experiencing the trauma through intrusive nightmares. and it's the accurate writing and portrayal of these nightmares that i'll be focusing on in this post. dreams are often a way for our subconscious to process details of any event, traumatic or not, whether that be to refine details, understand motives, notice things you maybe hadn't before or recreate the narrative in an attempt to reassure oneself. nightmares, specifically when repeated, can represent the body and mind struggling to break down and process trauma — this is when treatment or support is usually sought out.

it should be noted that nightmares don't last forever and can be manageable through treatment of the disorder itself. ptsd nightmares may subside after some weeks or months of consistent treatment ( that doesn't mean you won't ever have them again, but you will likely become more desensitised to them ) whereas c-ptsd nightmares may continue for years post-events due to the body and mind struggling to desensitise, an outcome of chronic hyperarousal. depending on which your character has, or if they have both, results may vary. for detailed information on various self-adaptations to reduce or ease trauma-related nightmares, read this. your character may implement some of these to assist in a better night's sleep.

it's helpful to acknowledge the ways in which your character might experience nightmares. media ( movies, books, music videos etc ) is an easy source to turn to for influence and inspiration, but it's vital to recognise trauma-related disorders are a spectrum and no one individual experiences trauma the same. a lot of media leans towards the rather stereotypical, but valid nonetheless, representation of individuals startling awake, maybe with a gasp, jolt or even a scream. this can happen for those less desensitised to their trauma, or to those new to it ( a recent event or sudden awareness of childhood trauma ), but there are other behaviours less talked about, and exploring these for your character can be the difference between stereotyping them or expanding into new territory.

here is a list of tips to consider when writing trauma-related nightmares and waking from them, for your character:

if an individual's hyperarousal is decreasing overtime, or they're becoming more desensitised to their nightmares or trauma in general, they might experience more subdued feelings and sensations within their dream-state, such as concern, worry, nervousness, caution or reluctance. they might wake from their nightmares feeling reserved, aware of their surroundings, uncomfortable or unnerved. they might wake like nothing happened, quickly recovering and proceeding with their day. it's also possible they may wake and maintain an external mask of 'feeling fine', but are internally disturbed, unsettled, anxious or feel unsafe for the rest of the day.

it's common for the intensity of the traumatic event to correlate with the intensity of reliving it. these disorders are heavily based around fear, regardless of how subdued or extreme ( depending on hyperarousal state ), and therefore reactivity upon awakening can be as pronounced as reactivity during the event or the complete opposite end of the scale.

they're not one-size fits all diagnoses. symptoms may vary depending on the trauma itself. for example, an abuse survivor may experience differing symptoms to a war veteran. an individual that suffered a traumatic crash might exhibit different symptoms to a survivor of an animal attack. this doesn't make one worse or more severe than the other, fear is experienced uniquely for every individual and thus intensity is too. the same way a character with a minimalised or desensitised fear response might experience trauma differently to someone with a typical fear response, despite living through the same trauma, etc.

your character might compartmentalise. if this is the case, they essentially shut away the fear to be processed for another time — or not at all. and this isn't always by choice, as it can be entirely subconscious. this can give the impression that they remain unaffected by the nightmare, when really they're either choosing not to face it or involuntarily protecting themselves. equally, your character might not be able to stop looping the nightmare in their head for the coming days and weeks. it's important to note that this repetition can weigh on you, making you tired, short-tempered, reactive or hyperaware, etc. it might impact interactions with other characters or with your character's own self. tolerance, patience, decision making and sense of control might shift. it might influence the decision to turn to substance abuse or general medication.

it's very important to acknowledge that nightmares themselves can vary. in perspective, intention, location, meaning — for example, an abuse survivor's nightmare might place them into the role of the abuser ( for intentions such as trying to comprehend their abuser's actions through their own self. ) a crash survivor might perceive the event from an outsider's perspective, or from the perspective of the other individual involved. there are also cases where familiar faces, friends, family, trusted people, etc, might step into an abusive, inappropriate or exploitative role — potentially as a way for the mind to process injustice or the enabling of a traumatic event. nightmares that enact, re-enact or represent inappropriate / taboo things can be extremely difficult to experience, as individuals may feel they can't safely discuss them without judgement or abandonment. this can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt and confusion.

it's also not uncommon for nightmares to make little sense. individuals responsible for your character's trauma might simply make an appearance, their presence being enough to unnerve but not necessarily an active participant in the nightmare. additionally, your character might be witness to a traumatic event that happened to them in their nightmare, or hear about it on the news etc rather than a direct experience.

these disorders can be co-morbid with other conditions / disorders. going off of this, it's worth considering the fact that nightmares can impact sleep — whether that be ability, willingness / desire or consistency. maybe your character needs medical assistance in sleeping, faces insomnia or restlessness, can't stay asleep or sleeps for too long. maybe they have to nap regularly due to a lack of sleep or mental / physical exhaustion ( because nightmares can make you feel as though you haven't slept when you have ), or they feel wired and hyperaroused and can't focus or concentrate when awake. sleep-walking is another one to consider. it can also trigger the development of physical illness.

nightmares can feel extremely real. waking up doesn't always provide relief. that being said, waking up naturally can sometimes mean you're less likely to remember than if you were to be woken or were to wake yourself. this varies for each individual. because of this, the ability to come down from a nightmare varies. sometimes, routines can help — calming processes to encourage relaxation, or things such as video games or reading to provide distractions, etc. it is possible for nightmares to trigger other symptoms, upon waking.

while it's entirely possible, and valid, to explore your character waking violently ( physical violence ) as this can happen for some, this is a stereotype portrayed in a lot of media that depicts ptsd and c-ptsd havers as aggressive, violent or dangerous. equally, violent action doesn't always mean violent intention or desire. please be cautious and respectful of enabling stereotypes such as these, they do create stigma. if you decide to pursue physical reactivity to nightmares for your character, be sure to do your research rather than copying what you saw in a movie.

overall, it's important you make the effort to correctly and respectfully portray your characters' ptsd and / or c-ptsd, regardless of whether they're a side character or primary, instead of leaning into stereotypes and potential stigma. and if you're ever unsure, ask! no one should get upset at you for wanting to learn more, as long as you've tried to find out first, because the mental health community isn't your own personal encyclopaedia.

i'd appreciate no one adding to this post but you're more than welcome to reblog. instead, if you have something you feel could be a beneficial addition, send it over to my asks! i'd like to avoid the risk of misinformation being spread where possible.

#writing #nightmates #trauma

[some-thrilling-heroics]

this ad is halsin getting smacked by tentacle, you cannot convince me otherwise 🤣

#halsin #lol #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #im sorry every bear i see now #is him and i can't help it