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multi-lefaiye · 9 months

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sometimes you have a trigger that cannot be reasonably and easily accommodated for, because it would require the people around you to police themselves to an extent that is not healthy for them to do.

that doesn't make your triggers and your trauma any less real or valid or *deserving* of accommodations, but deserving does not necessarily always mean that those accommodations are possible.

sometimes the best way to handle your triggers is to recognize what triggers you and do what you have to do to handle them when they come up. find coping mechanisms that work for you, and as much as you're able to, be open with the people in your life about it. even if they can't make sure you never have to interact with something that may trigger you, they can be a support system for you to ensure you'll survive the blows as they come.

it's not always possible to avoid what triggers you and it's not always possible for others to do that for you. (to be clear: i'm not at all saying people should *seek out* content that they *know* will trigger them or that they shouldn't remove themselves from situations that are triggering when they have the ability to do so, but that sometimes it's not that easy.)

(disclaimer: this is not psychological advice and i'm not saying this applies to everyone.)

#tentatively leaving this as rebloggable but if anyone is shitty in my notes i'm blocking people #multi makes text posts #to be clear also this is about triggers as in the psychological term #but really you can apply this broadly to other things as well #and this also kinda goes hand in hand with the idea that occasionally accessibility needs will conflict with each other #(i.e. someone with vocal stims vs someone who is easily overstimulated by noise)#neither person is in the wrong for having conflicting needs #and that's just the reality of the situation #just. i dunno i realized a bit earlier that [thing] may be an actual trigger for me #but it's also not something i can reasonably ask people to accommodate #because it *is* very specific and asking them to do so would require them to police themselves to a degree that would be unhealthy as fuck #i'm being vague here on purpose b/c it's not something i really wanna talk about publicly on tumblr dot com #and it's something i do need to talk about with my loved ones #but god yeah lmao it's hard to bring up b/c there isn't really a good solution #idk i'm just thinking out loud here #also to be clear it's not a trigger literally any of y'all could set off i think so you're fine don't worry about it #do not know what to tag this to be honest

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torchickentacos · 7 months

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oh my god i am so crampy that i cannot move right now so fuck it. ag watch through is happening. will be tagging it with #ag watchthrough if anyone wants to mute that. one post with all my thoughts per episode .I did this once before but couldn't commit, but I'll try again. I need something to focus on right now, but not something I need to THINK about and this feels like a compromise. The goal will be one episode a day, counting queueing posts. Will I regret this a third of the way through season one? probably but so it goes.

#long tags. accidental methodology infodump #my therapist wants me to schedule time to relax so i can do this and say i set aside at least twenty minutes a day #genuinely need to get the cramps sorted out before i stop online classes though #i cannot function out in society like this #doctors were like 'yeah sounds like endo. no we won't check.'#like okay :) thanks :))) 👍#would love to see more studies and info on the link between endo and eds #bc there are heavy anecdotal links #it seems like a really common comorbidity #i found one study that showed a link but it was from 1995 and was of 41 women #and it wouldn't let me in to actually read over the study and methods. it was author info and the abstract only #so idk how much was self reporting or what #and it looked like a voluntary selection which skews stuff BUT I COULDN'T GET IN TO LOOK #bc like ok here's the thing #Do I think there is a link given how heavily people report overlap and given the width of eds comorbidities? yes #but in a study where people volunteered for it #if they saw 'eds/gynecological disorder study applicants open'#then people who experience eds AND gynecological disorders will likely be the ones who apply for it #so any link might be misrepresented as having a larger correlation than it actually does #GOD I would love to get into this kinda stuff for a career if i could only do math #and like it gave numbers but no baseline #it said that the correlation was certain percentages but did not give percentages to compare it to for the general population in the abstra #and numbers like that are important due to their context and can be meaningless or innacurate without it #like. COMPLETELY RANDOM AND INNACURATE example. numbers are bullshitted #you can say that people should avoid traveling in cars because five percent of car crashes are fatal #that sounds worrying doesn't it? you can accept the 'thesis' as fact based on that statistic. it sounds reasonable.#and 70 percent result in up to severe injury #but you need the context to look at how many people use cars every single day and don't get in crashes #you need that larger context to it because cars ARE safe actually #and also think. what does the statistic count as 'injury'?

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idlyingabout · 4 months

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I spent some 10 months working in this retail supermarket shop that's close to home and after quitting the only experience that's stayed with me is those rare few times when i would see other queer people just existing in public. Maybe it's because I'm kind of a coward and could never be that openly out, or the environment in this area of the city that I know is very christian and very hostile (the things that i've heard my coworkers saying...) but I came to treasure those rare moments in a very special way. It can feel kinda lonely here, where sometimes it seems like it's just me and the friends I met in artschool and the people in other areas that i see on instagram, weirdly far away from me, and knowing that it'll be decades before we achieve anything meaningful in this country, but seeing someone being so open and brave like that makes me wanna keep going y'know? Maybe someday I'll live in a future where my teacher from artschool didn't have to travel to the USA to get married, and I can go to the beach with my friends and have twin scars on my chest.

#i say stuff #trans tag #idk it's just that everytime i would see someone and know they were queer my heart would shake in this weird way #i can remember like two lesbian couples #two men that asked me about curtains and as I was walking away heard one of them call the other 'darling'#this trans girl that was shoping with a friend and she had beautiful green braids #a couple of other trans women who asked me about what comforter sizes we had #i feel like i would see these people and in my head chant 'please look at me please recognize me please'#maybe i'm being weird idk #also i was working in this store as like a temporary thing #after graduating here with an associate's i applied to this artschool in the USA to like finish my full degree #they accepted me and I spent almost a whole year looking for help to actually study there #i looked in many ways and help never came sadly #a part of me also just wanted to escape from here #maybe some weird karma from that prevented help from coming idk #anyways maybe things can get better. maybe #i started tearing up just writing this

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fanmoose12 · 10 months

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ready for exactly what i warned you about? here you go:

FAIRY

because DARK. i still can't believe we're mutuals some days. this is not a joke.

and ofc STEEL as well, because your levihan fics and headcanons are just that, chef fucking kiss indeed.

...... i'm gonna be completely honest with you the fact that you consider ME cool is simply mind-blowing. please, i'm a dirty gremlin that has some yet unidentified mental deficiency that makes me think of levihan all the time

but thanks!!! you can't imagine how happy your little message made me!! i'm smiling so much rn!!!

(yes, the smile is a bit too wide. yes, it does look a bit creepy. what can i do about it, you're just too awesome and i kinda thought that i annoyed you but i'm very happy that i do not 🥹)

#ALSO i hope it doesn't come off as though i'm stalking you and if it does come off that way then i hope you don't read other people's tags #anyway if my understanding is the correct one you're french?#if that's true then i'm sorry but i have to say this: your language is godawful #WHY is it so damn complicated #i've been trying to get more familiar with it (through duolingo ik ik but i'm too lazy to apply to actual classes)#bc when i was like 15 i was very into lesmis and very impressed with your culture in general and nearly ten years later here i am ig #ANYWAY my point is that it's very (and at times unnecessarily imo) complicated #and ik this might come out as ridiculous #considering that my native language is ukranian and MAYBE it's not the easiest one too but idk it makes sense to me #french unfortunately very often do not 😔

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deus-ex-mona · 2 years

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slandergoro is 👁watching👁 you

#👁looking at all you ken slanderers out there👁#is slandergoro attacking or protecting ken? no one knows—#but i’m not the only one who thinks that traumamamamamamamagoro looks a little like slenderman right?#pls don’t forgive the lousy slenderman body i drew it in 5min on my phone lollll #it is suiyoubi my dudes #shibakentucky fried chicken #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—#though�� idk if anyone reads these tags but if you do…👀👀 do you ever encounter that moment when you impulse buy something and just go ‘w h y’#like i just so happened to be browsing the global site for bookwalker and suddenly i end up checking out all of yoru sumino’s novels…#…those and all the volumes of paripi koumei lmfaoooo. though paripi koumei is actually much better than i thought???#kabetaijin best character of paripi koumei hands down— eiko’s a close second thoughhh she cute #and maaan global bookwalker has the craziest stuff on there? like there’s this terribly written/tled r-18 novel that reads like a bad fanfic #it’s mad cringe just from the preview lmfaoooooo feels bad for whoever bought it tbh #and hmmmm… i have nothing else to ramble about in these here tags really…#…aside from the fact that i applied for a seemingly overworked+underpaid job lolll #but it seems fun and there’s no guarantee that i’ll get it anyway so👀👀👀

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larryjohnsoncosplayonthursday · 1 year

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last

for realsies

#HELLO IM VENTING AGAIN IM SO SORRY #i am sick of everything the usual but i just need some fucking therapy and my diagnosises are taking too long because the system is shit #over here and i feel like i am a literal walking disaster a hazard to myself are my meds even working anymore idk? someone needs to lock me #in a fucking wardrobe before i loose my shit and do something stupid as fuck at least im self aware ok were growing this is called growth #wow ok amazing spectacular #like tonight ive decided i hate everyone again i want to quit uni actually might do it this time i just applied for a random job for no #reason i have a job but if i have 2 then i can over work myself to the max so i dont have to go into uni #i have three weeks off so now im cutting everyone off who knows how long this episode is gonna last for #i am loosing my god damn mind i do not want to do anything everything is so hard why is everyone so pressuring #i stopped doing some of my stupid habbits but now im just going full circle again so im thriving rn live love laugh am i right guys or what #AND WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A THERPAIST WHO CONTACTS ME ITS BEEN SINCE OCTOBER U FUCKING BITCH GO FUCK URSELF #anyway im in huge amounts of pain too idk what i do in my sleep or something but my shoulders hurt so bad #i hate wet tags on clothes when they stick to you throws up actually #i had stale fucking garlic bread today and i want to move out but if i move out then things will get worse for me #why cant i maintain a normal friendship without loosing my mind and hating everyone i mean no one knows my friends are pretty good with me #they understand but i dont know #ive come to the conclusion that i am just a shit

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myriadsystem · 2 years

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Any systems out there that have maybe advice or anecdotes about non-corporeal alters, please if you feel comfortable sharing im in a tight spot and could use guidance:

So, I am a ghost. When we were little our hosts had always been human, during our teen years i co-hosted with a human. During our late teens/early 20s i was considered less of a co-host and more of just only being out when we interacted with our abuser, and the human co-host became the only host for a while. Since then that human is no longer host and isnt able to be considered co-host anymore (atleast not for the forseeable future until we get therapy and can unpack some stuff for her) and the role of host falls solely on me. The ghosty hostess with the mostess 😎

So basically tl;dr the first part, ive been in the body fairly often before but its only the last few months i have been here all the time with 'just me' (obv not including random switches/lurking but like i mean in a sense of the body primarily belonging only to me without a break.)

The body deals with a l o t of chronic pain.

Basically i had some thoughts recently where i couldnt tell if i could feel the body pains more these days just because i dont have a co-host/have someone to take it from me when its overwhelming, or because im becoming more connected with the idea of having physicality? Or the pain is just worse/increased because whatever is causing the pain hasnt been medically adressed and my condition has decreased. I have recently stopped taking my uh, 🍀 medication due to financial reasons and since not having it the body just feels worse and worse every day, i honestly didnt realise just how much it was doing for me in regards to just like. Allowing me to go for a tiny 10min slow paced walk without wishing to scream and howl in pain with every step. To let me function, essentially, on a physical pain management scale.

The last two ideas stress me out. I still feel like a ghost, not to get too personal but my ghost form wasnt formed out of a near death experience it was out of a need to have certain words and events 'go through me,' and a deep connected sense of lonelyness and abandonment like those things and people and places who are gone and forgotten. And i carry much trauma related to those feelings which i will not be going into detail about here. But the thought that i have been in this body so long by myself, and have over the last few years found friends and connections to other physical people i want to be around, couldve caused/be causing me to slowly become less ghost and more physically real? That scares and worries me. I still very much feel like i need to be ghost to stop us getting hurt in that way. I worry if i become corporeal, it will be easy for other people to hurt us in that same way again. I worry if i am corporeal that i will have to deal with the bodys physical pains much more intensely than i already do if i am so connected to it, and that i cannot do what i do best to allow painful things to pass through me. Like im made of nothing but smoke because i essentially am. Thats my entire reason for being. I worry if this is the case and im becoming a more physical embodiment of my former self that its out of my control and i dont get a choice. Because i would chose to stay ghost if i could.

The other option is also scary. The body is only 24 years old dude. It shouldnt hurt this much all the time over comparatively small tasks. Or no tasks. It shouldnt hurt this much just to be 'alive'. And if it is because the condition has progressed since the last time i was aware of the body for real and ive gotten worse? Thats almost too much to think about. How quickly is it progressing? Why cant i do anything to stop it? Why wont doctors do anything to stop it, or atleast identify it so i can work on managing it myself? Ive only ever split once (personally i mean not as a system) and the poor entity is full of medical trauma. It makes it so hard to keep going to doctors to keep begging them to take me seriously when they never do. Its so much pain and effort (let alone money) and exhaustion just to get to a doctor. Not even a specialist just a gp. Only for them to tell me every time that i brush my hair and dress nicely and usually wear makeup and i couldn't possibly be struggling in any way, especially physically. Its too much effort, more effort than its worth for that. So i dont really go to a doctor any more, but i need to, i need just one of them to take me fucking seriously. Because i have no good way of knowing if this pain seems so new and intense to me because im more 'real' (physical) than i ever was, or because there is more pain.

Both options suck

So yeah idk any ghostly entities or fluid/non-corporeal/shadow type alters, do you have advice how to tell if you might be becoming physical? Or those of you who used to be floaty who did transition into a more 'sturdy' being, what did it feel like? When did you know you werent the concept of see-through anymore? Do you prefer not having a graspable form? How has this change benefited your sys?

Idk i have a lot of questions just any sort of advice might be helpful here bc im having a rough time lately managing physical body pain in relation to the literal reason i exist and if i still exist like that.

#thats so fkn long im so sorry i so rarely post actual longform stuff on here but ive been thinking about lots lately #plus this is my blog i get to talk about my stuff here. this is my blog i have to keep reminding myself the social rules ive built myself #do not have to apply here. i can be a nuisance on my own damn blog if i wish #im also sorry idk how to do a readmore tho #i tried. i do not know if it will work its the first one ive done and i am on mobile app so im just reslly sorry if it doesnt work #and you get this huge text wall comin at ya #thats a lot of personal stuff i fe a bit weord abt posting so much private stuff openly but i needed to get these thoughts out #in a way where i can maybe get advice without judgement and not just a one sided journaling entry #personal #did #osdd #tw: death mention #tw: abuse mention #tw: drug mention #endos dni #tw: split mention #? idk what to tag as trigger warnings theres a lot of heavy implied stuff here but no actual real details i think #tw: ghosts #gross fuck you if you expect me to tw my fucking self but also. like i get it. i get not everyones cool with ghosts #bc theyre so often linked with deathy concepts #tw: trauma #tw: trauma mention #again not specifically with detail but i just dont wanna upset unprepared folks #next question for myself. if i click dont allow reblogs can people still reply? we will find tf out i suppose #if youre 'endo' you will be immediately blocked upon my finding this out or if youre just a dick about this post or my situation in general #im in a bad place. i have zero fucking tolerance for any kind of hate or even criticism right now. friendly discussions please only #im happy for you to share your stories if you think it relates or you might have insight into my situation #and im asking for advice so unless its very obviously unsolicited or unapplicable to situations like this(airy alters becoming less airy)#please feel free to share whatever you think might help or work within context #system

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nemesis-is-my-middle-name · 2 years

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fundamentally the thing i want to get across in this scene which i’m not 100% confident it’s succeeding in now is that for these characters the current situation is like, a pot almost boiling over. it’s incredibly stressful for everyone! and every person, for the most part, has the mutual understanding that they’re ALL stressed right now and starting emotional fights right now isn’t fair or productive. but also that same level of like, cognitive fatigue, sorta loosens peoples’ self-control and they wind up doing things like saying stuff guaranteed to start a huge argument with the coworker they kind of get along with

#everyone's grumpy they need an apply juice and a naptime #the nemesis speaks #im conflicted on whether to tag these Writing Process Materials with the ounce of prevention tag or not #idk it comes down to like. do people find them interesting #i guess i could also be tagging them so that people coming here from ao3 can find updates easily #anyway going back to what The Actual Post is about #i don't want it to come across like these two get into fights for no reason *often*#and like. i've shown them cordially interacting before #it's just that *right now* they're primed to be getting on each others' nerves #jailbirds au

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mossyfella · 3 months

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making my own post bc i fundamentally agree with op’s point (that it’s morally neutral to shoplift from stores especially for essentials items) and don’t want to derail from that BUT the part where they’re like “plus majority of what’s on the shelves gets thrown away anyways” make me. hm. bc idk if it’s different for other stores but where i work the produce department (where i am) had like a 2.5% shrink rate (stuff we don’t sell) and like. a majority of that we try to donate to food banks…. the rest gets composted and goes back to our farms… like an apple that has bruises and stuff that someone wouldn’t really buy… we donate that !!!

#dandy.txt #really didn’t want to derail bc it didn’t seems in good taste but it’s been Bothering me for awhile now #but like i said idk about other stores like. i applied here bc i really really like alot of the waste reduction stuff #we also compact a lot of the garbage we do have and sort all the recycling out #and bale all our cardboard so it can be recycled #need to talk to hr about the possibility of getting he/she pronouns on my name tag #bc that one’s not an option :(#also maybe i’m a simp for this store bc they’re like the only ones who have baked goods #i can actually eat LMAO

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itheume · 2 years

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me : wow i cant believe the romance option event system is like social links. this is the only association to p/rsona i can think of :)

the day-to-day calendar system + the after school activities + two ( 2 ) questions tossed @ the mc's head during school + the options to study / exercise / read @ home + the one time where you have a mandatory weekend friend event + the looming threat of a test :

#kam.txt #the vampire house #( tempted to make a tag that's just called vh posting or something like that just so i can smack posts w it on my own blog but im thinking #odic said it was inspired a little by p/rsona but i didnt think of How inspired until i was going back through the game files yesterday #which was interesting like i think it was fun that there was an attempt there to export its life sim aspects into like #Text Format tm #but i Also went through the empty rainy ' no murders today :) ' days while i was reading through it and it made me realize how um ;;#i do not want to say hollow but i will say gutted a day by day system feels without those events ;; like im still hung up on that #someone : but kam those days are mostly for finishing up whatever you need to do ! it was like that in p/ersona too !#and yeah those moments Were there and important for quick leveling or building a stat or whatnot but like ;; there's no consequence of #doing nothing for those days like if you've played it you know that stats do not change too much in the grand scheme of things #which makes me want to play haze to see how odic has improved in that regard u kno bc i think it was fun how if like #you finished the office ninja book you hide when elizabeth & roxanne show up outside the gate & hear more of their convo #roxanne sees u anyways but that was fun to see !! tragic & devastating i only knew it existed via looking @ the actual coding tho !!#like just a game full of that would be v fun ur honor i cannot lie to u )#( off to play haze just to see how it's improved on all of this idk if i will report back but i will apply my knowledge um #please know i am still holding up the unused monsters from the startup text file confused & disoriented #anyway once again another post w eight hundred tags sorry if u open the tag list n find this lmao )#( scrolled up and am sitting here fighting to figure out if there's a test like i cant remember if the mc ever took it )

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wonysugar · 5 months

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fuck you stupid | ning yizhuo

synopsis : you thought you’d seen it all with her, but no, she somehow managed to surprise you even further.

pairing : bimbo!ningning x fem!reader

genre : bffs to... fwb?? idk they just fuck,, so obviously smut too! xx

tags : yall got lost help, fingering, degradation, belittling, dumbification, car sex, she's so stupid but she fucks you good so it's okay, very slight cunnilingus, she slaps you like once so impact play!

warnings : none!

word count : 1.6k

you, y/n l/n, weren’t exactly smart, but you also weren’t exactly stupid. like yeah, you weren’t a genius per se, but it’s not like you were brain dead either. average was the term you always used to describe your intelligence.

you unfortunately couldn’t say the same about ning yizhuo, your best friend.

you loved her, like that’s your bitch, of course you love her! however, you’d be lying if you said that she was intellectually capable, because she just wasn’t. god, she was just so, so painfully stupid?? clumsy??? careless???? all of the above applied when it came to this woman. not even to be mean or anything of the sorts, just, yknow… natural selection at its finest.

she was aware of that, though, and even thrived in being the self proclaimed bimbo everyone knew and loved. (to which you wholeheartedly agree with, by the way) and honestly? you just couldn’t stop teasing her about it whenever you two hung out. things similar to “stupid hoe” and “dumbass” always escaping your mouth as you two laughed, probably moments after she bumped onto something on the sidewalk whilst spilling all the tea to you.

in summary, she’s done stupid shit before, but nothing, nothing could ever top what she had done that day.

the day she got the both of you lost in some random parking lot at like, 2 am.

“ning, we’re fucking lost.” you told her, eyebrows furrowed in frustration as you watched her giggle nervously.

she grabbed her cellphone and hovered her finger over the power button, “oh come on y/n don’t be like that, i can just go on google maps and we’ll be out of here in no ti-“

a black screen.

she cleared her throat hesitantly, sighed, then pressed the button again.

nothing.

she kept doing that, giving longer presses to the side of her phone in hopes of a miracle . your patience was running thin and you were quite frankly not far from panicking.

after the 27th-ish try, you finally snapped at her.

“fucking hell ning do you not charge your damn phone??”

“sorry that i forgot to?”

oh she had to be joking.

“girl oh my god what the fuck?? we’ll stay stuck here for only god knows how long and it’s all gonna be because ‘ning yizhuo forgot to charge her phone beforehand’ for fuck’s sake.” you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose in exasperation. trying to calm down, you ignored ning’s gaze.

her stupid annoying yapping wasn’t helping at all. like, at all.

“oh so we’re once again blaming me, got it. y/n you didn’t even bring your own phone, how do you have the audacity to put the blame on me.” she said back, her eyebrow raised up as she threw her phone down on her skirt, sighing exasperatedly.

“because someone told me it was her turn to get the aux.”

“where in that sentence did i ever tell you not to bring your phone??”

“god, ning just- just stay quiet. okay? just- please shut up, i’m trying to think. we can’t rely on you for anything.” you told her, exasperated.

in response, she scoffed, “no?? no i won’t, actually. you’re always putting the blame on me and it’s seriously starting to piss me the fuck off. yeah i’m a bimbo, whatever, but does that mean that you have to talk to me like i only have two barely functioning brain cells??”

“oh please, saying you have two functioning brain cells would be wayy too generous. you’re always doing the stupidest shit out of the two of us. i mean fuck, you literally drove us here, in the middle of nowhere. you’re not a bimbo, you’re just fucking dumb, ning.”

when you looked back at her, she seemed hurt. like,

a wave of guilt quickly washed over you upon seeing her pained, pained expression. she looked into your eyes, frustration and sadness clearly showing into her own. yeah, she looked pissed. you wanted to apologize almost immediately, and you were going to,

if she didn’t suddenly press her lips onto yours before you could even get a word out.

how do best friends make up after a fight?

usually, they talk it out, they go out, hug it out then get milkshakes or whatever, hell, sometimes they just go a day or two without talking then eventually forget about it.

this? this was none of that.

since she planted a kiss on your lips, you, instead of doing anything stated above, were fucking.

like, yeahh you were still lost, but at least you were getting your pussy ravaged. the situation could be handled later; when you weren’t drenched.

throwing your head back as you moaned out ning’s name, you were straddling her in the backseat of her car, feeling her two fingers deep inside you and stretching you out. she looked up at you with lustfully hooded eyes as she kissed and left very visible marks all over your neck, all the way down to your collarbone, her free hand fondling your tits, lazily playing with the nipple.

“f-fuck ning keep going i’m sososo close- fuckfuckfuck..” feeling yourself getting pushed closer to the edge by the friction you felt, you bucked your hips faster onto her digits. the knot tying in your stomach felt like it would’ve snapped any second now, that is,

until she stopped moving her fingers altogether.

frustrated, you whined loudly, “ninggg please let me cum pleaseplease-”

“oh yeah? so now you wanna rely on me for something, and it’s to make you cum?” she laughed. “fucking slut. i’ll make you cum whenever i want to, got it, bitch?” she added, pressing her thumb on your swollen throbbing clit, smirking condescendingly and watching how pretty you looked when pleasure contorted your face.

you unintentionally clenched at her words, nodding shamefully. it was embarrassing enough having your best friend knuckles deep inside of you, having her call you names and whatnot, but the real embarrassing part?

enjoying it thoroughly.

she knew this, she knew she had you wrapped around her finger at that moment and oh was it such a power trip for her. seeing you be so needy for her touch, you almost started riding her fingers yourself, too. she was always the one being treated like a dumb bitch, it was nice being on the other side of things, for a change.

she kept twisting and pulling on your nipple with her free hand as she slowly started to slide her fingers up and down your walls again, giggling and paying close attention to how your body shook and twitched at each and every one of her slow movements. what a sight to see.

“you like being fucked stupid hm?”

and that’s what she did,

seconds,

minutes,

what felt likes hours,

you were sloppily bouncing and grinding on her fingers, speed ranging from a painful slowness to an overwhelming rapidity.

you gripped her arms tightly, as if you would fall into some sort of void if you didn’t hold onto her for dear life. resting your head on her shoulder, you whined, losing yourself onto her. her fingers were still pumping in and out of you at that moment, faster than they were before, by the way, so it took you all of your body strength to not just cum right then and there, but you managed to hold back. for her, you held back and took all of it. every minute passing, every single motion feeling like it was threatening to make you go insane.

“ning pleaseplease let me cum i wanna cum so badly fuck- pleasepleasepleasepleaseee-” you begged, looking down at her with pleading teary eyes.

“fuck, look at you. calling me a dumb bitch all the time, yet here you are, acting oh so stupid for my fingers. such a brainless needy little whore for me, hm? does my idiotic, pretty girl wanna cum?”

you nodded eagerly as you whined, tears actively running down both of your cheeks, so desperate for release that you quite honestly didn’t care for how ridiculous you looked to her at that moment. you just wanted to cum, so, so, so badly, and you were ready to give up your dignity for it.

the sound of her hand slapping your cheek resonated in the car.

“say it. you know damn well i don’t accept pathetic sounds for an answer.”

“fuck— your idiotic pretty girl wants to cum pleaseee let her–”

she hummed, smirking at your response. incredibly amused by your behavior, she took her fingers out of you, picked you up by placing her hands on your thighs, then gently put you on the empty seat that was next to the one she occupied. upon seeing you sat comfortably, she proceeded to kneel down on the empty space between the front seats and the backseats. y’know,

the ones a grown woman couldn’t possibly fit in?

it’s okay though, like, yeah she would most definitely complain about back pain later, but right now?

she needed to feel you cum all over her tongue.

and that’s exactly what she worked towards, her tongue driven by the scent of your arousal to roam all over your folds and clit, kissing and sucking on every inch of your core as she attentively listened to all the sweet noises that came out of you. it really did not take long before your moans reached octaves you didn’t even know you could achieve before, an overwhelming wave of relief hitting you like a truck. you were 100% sure you would pass out afterwards.

at the end of the day, yeah, you both were still stranded in the middle of some unknown parking lot, but at least, the stress of it all evaporated in the air.

while you were trying to catch your breath, you made a mental note;

never underestimate ning’s intelligence when she was in a bad mood! or, do. depending on if you wanna get fucked stupid that day or not.

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