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bciwasinlove · 3 years

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So this half-written post has been in my drafts for a couple weeks now didn't really think I would bother finishing it but after tonight thought I should. I have seen some [on both Tumblr and Twitter] have such a double standard when it comes to H&L and don't really care for both like they claim. Maybe some should just be say their a solo stan bc you only care about Harry bc he's Louis bf not for much else and are always one foot out the door from stanning Harry.

PSA This is my thoughts if you don't agree or don't do any of this just please keep scrolling. Also, some of these points may be relevant to only Twitter while other points only Tumblr but I'm posting this on both apps so I'm just putting all my thoughts collectively into one post.

From what I constantly see from my time on both apps especially this last year is that there is a huge double standard when it comes to L&H...

1) Some of you will defend Louis against every little piece of hate he receives but the problem lies when you turn a blind eye to some of the awful stuff said about Harry.

2) Some have stated [actually a lot] that they won't call themself a harrie bc toxic solo harries exist and they hate Louis but are fine calling themself a louie even tho toxic solo louies who hate Harry exist. Sounds like you only pretend to care about Harry as stated before bc he's Louis bf.

3) Back when we got Italy Elounor date pics everyone made memes and jokes about it or kept saying things like "poor Louis hate that he is forced to stunt with Eleanor" [did not blame Louis at all for it] but when we got Holivia Italy date pics I saw some of those same people [including a former mutual] get mad and fully blamed Harry for it as if it isn't the same situation. Where is the difference between both stunt vacations ?? Neither had a say in it and both were forced to do this bc both are closeted.

I feel like some think just bc Harry gets more media attention and promo that means he has more say and is more free but that is not the case. It's been pretty clear since last October when Jingle Ball was filmed Harry has not been well. He seems so fuckin done with everything since than and the only time he seemed decently happy was when he was filming a movie where he plays a gay man and slightly when performing bc he has missed doing so.

Don't even think some heard the full line correctly bc after he says it's about sweetness and a fan yells p***y he says "It's about female o****am" AND THAN "that's totally different it's not relevant" [the name of the song came from a book about that.] A lot of major UAs cited it as "so that settles that" which isn't correct and changes how to perceive what he meant. Also some seem to forget their are three other guys on the writing credits for WS who are into women.

4) We all know the solo harrie UA HSD who was exposed in a way for hating Louis and being very toxic saying lies about Louis and a ton of larries were like I dont care if they give fast/good updates on Harry they hate Louis so don't follow there's other UAs. Well some time later a popular solo louie UA got exposed for being run by a tumblr r*d who says awful stuff about Harry.

They even claimed Harry and his team helped start BG to ruin Louis careers and some of those same larries who said unfollow HSD bc they hate Louis said "I don't care what this acc [the SL UA] says elsewhere I'm here for updates" so when it's hates against Louis unfollow but when it's hate and lies about Harry it's turn the other way who cares ???

5) Just a few days ago we had that ss of Eleanor's text about football from "daddy" clearly meant to mean Louis and having him listed as "daddy" is sexual but everyone just found it funny and brushed it off like who cares we know they aren't actually together but when H says one line at a concert everyone loses their shit.

So that could easily mean the sweetness part is about himself and the other meaning [that he says isn't relevant] is about the other writers who most likely know what THAT is like compared to Harry [who regadless of his sexuality] has been with Louis since he was 16. Or like stated the book he read that gave him the idea of the song title.

Here is a good ask/post about WS meaning and how it can have multiple meanings NOT just one.

https://daisiesonafield-blog.tumblr.com/post/663910079575326720/hiii-im-from-argentina-and-last-night-on-midnight

TBH I don't even see a big deal in this and why it really matters. The biggest reason I have seen people complain about it is we will get more hate for this but how much more hate can we really get that makes a difference or is anything we haven't heard before? Whether this was said or not I had already been told every phrase in the book like "you're delusional" "go seek help" " go to a psych ward" ext. and it doesn't change the fact that Larry is still real. I know some can't handle those things [those who can't should definitely step away from online fandom for a while] I'm just saying we got told all those things before it's nothing new the amount we get at this point is a blur.

The second biggest reason I have seen is this gives antis the incentive to sexualize him but didn't they have enough incentive before when they kept shoving the WS meaning down our throats along with the womanizer image? Plus whenever Harry did something before Illuding to something sexual [example medicine and how he acts on stage when singing it mainly with his mic] everyone would be like yeah Harry 🤩 but now with this people are saying he shouldn't have said this bc this eggs antis on to sexualize him ??

So he just shouldn't have done half of the things he did on stage during HS1 tour bc a lot of how he acted on stage mainly during Medicine egged them on. We could get a picture of Harry sitting on a chair and they will find a way to sexualize him [I have personally seen it happen.] They have never had human decency and would have still acted whatever way they will act in the coming future regardless of this.

If I get hate from antis for what he said well I got told all those things after Louis bullshit tweet, Liam calling Larries delusional, Gemma saying false goodnight when asked if Larry was real, the twins saying Larry isn't real, Louis saying he will marry Eleanor one day ext. And anyone else who was around for those event mostly just ignored what all of them said or laughed at it so why is Harry saying this much different? All those things fueled antis just as much as this would so what does it matter at this point? The bullshit tweet from Louis 2012 was enough for them say all they had I really don't see this changing much.

This isn't the first time something like this has been done clearly and it won't be the last if it's an issue for you every time this happens it is probably best for you to just leave the fandom. If it's ONLY an issue when it's Harry saying something to allude to Larry not being real or playing into the "I'm straight" image just unstan Harry.

Someone did dmed me saying I think those mad at Harry from a newer stans perspective are not used to this type of situation and were expecting Harry to be coming out but got things like this instead and an older stans perspective has seen shit like this time and time again like in 2014/2015 when we thought they might be coming out but we got Dani and babygate instead.

If you were/are only here bc you want or expect them to come out just leave now bc you will not survive another year in this fandom where the endless cycle of them going one foot forward out the door to two steps back in the closet keeps happening. I've been a fan for 10 years I've seen it all became a Larrie after Haylor happened I guess I just became numb to all this.

My main point of this post is I'm tired of seeing people treat L&H differently when it comes to them being in the closet and having to go about being seen as straight. You can't say one is "forced to do and say things" but than say the other is "free to do and say as they please" when things related to closesting happen.

For any stunting related thing either both choose to do what they do and to be in the spot their in or neither is anywhere near free and has a say in what they do. One getting more promo and media attention doesn't make them any more free when they are heavily tied up in s*ny's ropes as their "golden boy" money maker 🤑🤑🤑. If you treat Harry completely different than you do Louis for the same thing then just be a solo stan please.

#harry #louis #larries #antis #harrys closeting #louis closeting #fandom double standards #larry #WS #WS meaning

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sword-of-summer · 3 years

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All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

#personal #ask #tumblr

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bondsmagii · 3 years

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2, 8, 26, 37, 38, 57, 72, 91, 94, 100

> questions to ask at 4:02am meme 🌕🌃

thank you!

2: Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known?

yes 😩 I can’t even adequately describe what’s going on here, but there’s a lot of people and a lot of places that feel familiar even if I don’t know them, if that makes sense? and there’s also a lot of people I could have become, and a lot of places I could have been, and I do have moments where I kind of mourn them even though I have no proof that they would have even existed in that specific way. I do think this is normal to an extent, but also I do this a lot, lol.

on a slightly less philosophical level, I of course mourn my older brother, who’s quite literally a person I never got the chance to know.

8: Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation?

oh man definitely. the love you feel for your friends isn’t the same love you feel for your spouse or your parents, and so on and so forth. there’s lots of different kinds of love, and lots of different levels within those types, and you’re also more than capable of feeling several different types and levels towards the same person, in my opinion. I don’t know if I would try and categorise everything, because something like love doesn’t really suit being shoved into boxes, but there are different types of love and I find it’s constantly shifting and changing along with you and the object of your love, which is cool.

I should add that I don’t find any one type of love more or less important than the others. seriously, destroy the idea that romantic love is the One True Love, and all other forms are somehow lesser. that’s just garbage.

26: What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far?

this is kind of embarrassing but the truth often is: almost eight years ago I decided to make a sideblog on here that has... something to do with writing, let’s say, and something to do with... a certain character... and anyway that decision led to me meeting a certain person and going from awkward messages on Tumblr to awkward messages on Skype, to eighteen hour conversations and constant texting, to living in a car together for three months on a roadtrip and then living in a car together for many more months while homeless (and a million other places in between), to moving in together and then holy shit we got married.

so I guess that one impulsive decision to make a shitpost sideblog at stupid o’clock in the morning when I was bored one summer has been the single most life-changing choice I’ve ever made.

37: Do opposites attract?

eh. I mean, yeah, sometimes? but similarities attract, too. I think for any kind of relationship to be successful you’ve kind of got to have an element of both, and I think that “opposites” usually refers to something very specific. for example, I don’t mind cleaning the bathroom and you hate it. that’s a useful kind of opposite, because it means a compromise neither of us feel cheated by. you’re unshakable when it comes to slogging through bureaucratic minutiae, and I’m a beast in high-stress quick-thinking scenarios. together we make a pretty unstoppable team, for being opposites in that regard. I think that’s kind of what’s meant by this saying, but unfortunately it seems to have been appropriated to mean “yes honey, I know you work 10 hour shifts and come home to find your partner hasn’t cleaned the house or done anything to help, but opposites attract!” or “my partner supports Trump and genuinely believes that vaccines and masks are a government conspiracy to control us all, and I am a normal human being, but opposites attract so I guess I’ll have to put up with it”. like no, kings and queens. that isn’t what it means. dump them.

38: Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago?

lmao no. not in the slightest. five years ago it would have been... just into 2016, and yeah, no. there is not a single thing about me right now that I would have predicted, aside from the general stuff that’s never changed about me. I had different ideas about what I would be doing for work, about what I’d be working towards; I had completely different levels of commitment and discipline to various tasks, and I certainly wasn’t planning an international move. I can at least say that I’m happier with my current plan than the one I used to have (it wasn’t a bad plan, it just no longer suits me) but there’s no way I would have expected this.

and of course, there’s the whole issue with the pandemic. five years ago I had no idea I would be living through a global natural disaster, and if you’d told me, I would have thought it would be something like a supervolcano eruption or a nuclear winter. like, I’m glad it’s not, but also “you have to stay in your house for over a year” still kind of sucks.

57: Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing?

I think we are sometimes, when things are tough and there’s a need to wish to escape (see how many books I read over quarantine in March, for example). most of the time, however, I think humans just like stories. I don’t think it’s any deeper than the fact that humans love stories, we’ve always loved stories, we’ve always loved telling and hearing stories, before we had books and archives we passed our stories down orally and we drew them on cave walls with our own fingers, and this love for the story has never changed or altered in the hundreds of thousands of years since. I think that’s the major driving force here.

right now I’m looking for an escape 24/7, because I’m sick to death of the real world. I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all. without books, without the fictional things I love, without reading and writing and music, I would have gone absolutely bonkers in 2020. being able to fall into a book or play around in the worlds I’ve created, both my own and things I’ve co-written with you, has literally saved my ass over the past eight months. escapism is never a bad thing. like anything, it only becomes troubling when it starts creating problems. but I do not think there’s any shame in occasionally saying “fuck it” and going to worry about someone else’s fictional problems for a while.

72: Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time?

this is a tough one. on the one hand I want to say no, because it could easily be abused. some asshole could get into power and make something illegal, and then round up all the people who have committed that now-crime and lock them up, and oh, would you look at that! all the people who have committed the now-crime just so happen to be the dictator’s biggest critics and threats, how convenient.

at the same time, dictators are going to wipe out their enemies no matter how legal it is, and I also have to consider the fact that before WWII, for example, words like “genocide” and “crimes against humanity” didn’t exist. how could we decide that these things are crimes, but then not try those who literally gave cause for the crime to be acknowledged? we can hardly say “alright, genocide is now a crime against humanity, but because these guys did it before this was law they can’t be tried”. that’s just... not really a great precedent to set, you know?

so I suppose a tentative yes? I think it would probably depend entirely on the severity of the crime. for example, if they found out that... I don’t know, some normal everyday substance was something that people could suddenly get high off, and they declared it a drug, I don’t think everyone who’s ever sold it or used it should be rounded up and jailed. but like, if the act of cannibalism itself became a crime (and not just murder or desecration of a corpse, which is what “cannibalism” usually falls under in terms of legality) we should probably go round up all the people who are stealing human legs to eat, yanno?

91: Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate?

sick totheark reference bro. anyway yeah, hate is as strong as love, though it appears and reacts in different ways. hate and love are two sides of the same coin, if you ask me. the deeper you love somebody, the harder you hate them if things go wrong. hate is betrayed love. something something, a tree’s branches cannot reach to heaven unless its roots reach to hell, and all that. something so powerful is going to leave a lot of damage if it goes wrong.

I hate a few people. I don’t want to go into detail as to their specific identities, because I’m sure that if you know me well, you’ll know who they are. both of them were people whom I loved very deeply, and who betrayed that love in ferociously cruel ways. both people taught me very difficult lessons about the nature of love, and how sometimes it really cannot conquer everything, but while this would be a nasty lesson to learn it’s compounded by the fact that I learned this not out of any kind of extraneous circumstance, but rather through their cruelty and their refusal to work with me, listen to me, or love me in the way I deserved to be loved. my hatred for these people will never go away, even though it certainly doesn’t dominate my life. it is there, though, and I can easily draw on it whenever I need it. should I get the opportunity, I have no doubt in my mind that I have the capacity to be very cruel to these people in my own right, and I won’t feel bad about it.

94: How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately?

oh damn. forcefully, conditionally, stubbornly, and probably slightly possessively.

I don’t show love in conventional means. I’m one of those stereotypes, I guess. I don’t like declarations of love, I don’t really go in for physical affection, and I’m not sappy at all. my love language is more subtle, but it’s there. I like to do things for people, I like to create things for/with people, I like to have adventures with people. that’s how I love, and I can be pretty forceful about it. I also want people to improve themselves as much as possible -- I think the greatest thing I can witness someone I love doing is becoming the best version of themselves, and I will support them 100% in this effort -- also very forcefully. I don’t think there are many people who could put up with that level of intensity for so long, if I’m honest. I demand a lot of the ones I love, but I also like to think I give a lot, too.

my love is never unconditional. while I believe unconditional love exists, I have never seen it. my love always comes with conditions -- conditions about how I expect to be treated, about ideology, about worldview. these are all huge deal breakers, of course -- my conditions aren’t vague, or petty, or small in any way. but there is nobody on earth, nor will there ever be, who I will not walk away from if I feel the relationship is harmful in any way. I might not stop loving them, but I sure as hell will not assume that my love for them will protect me from them.

at the same time I’m a very stubborn person when it comes to love. people will do things they think must break one of my conditions, but I’ll see something else in it and I’ll stick around even if we both think it’s useless. I’m never wrong, so I suppose I have that going for me. but I am very, very stubborn when it comes to love. I have a high level of endurance and I know how to nurture love; how to stop pessimism from setting in. I’m also slightly possessive, so I don’t let go of anything easily -- and this includes the people I love. I’ll never stifle a person, but I’ll definitely fight for them, and something something everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.

100: What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in?

I suppose something like this could never be logically grounded because there’s no logical proof at all, and “I Just Know” is apparently not a scientific argument (it should be), but I know I’ve had past lives. I just do. I have no solid proof for this, only gut feelings and Just Knowing and weird memories and some crazy shit that I can’t explain -- like being able to find my way around a strange city because I remembered it from a past life, for example -- but I just know I’ve had many different lives before and I will have many more to come. this is just an unshakable belief and it always has been.

#4:02am meme #long post #about me #vestriis #asks

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brooklynislandgirl · 3 years

Text

——— BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME! ♡ Turtle, a tiny chelonian cryptid of your imagination.

PRONOUNS! ♡ she / her / they

ZODIAC SIGN! ♡ Pisces {sun, moon, and rising. I literally cannot get away from being a fishy!}

TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡ taken

——— THREE FACTS! ♡

1! ♡ Braveheart was the nickname of Robert Bruce, king of Scotland, and not William Wallace no matter what the movie says.

2! ♡ All Cats are Dreamlands cats, but none of them shop at the Plateau of Leng.

3! ♡ Sharks have no bones.

——— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡ currently? Tumblr and Discord. previously? we don’t have the time to list them all but the nightmares still linger from: IIRC, AoHell, MSN, Eyechat, etc.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡ Neither Beth nor I have a preference for what gender other muses and muns happen to be, or lack there of. It’s always about how well mun/muse get along with one another. Beth and I can be fast friends with another muse or mortal enemies with them, so long as the muns involved can respect and befriend one another. So essentially, mun chemistry is a big factor. I have little time or patience for other muns who can’t be bothered to communicate, especially with the nature of the things I write. One thing I will admit to and I know that this is probably going to offend some folks, but I am honest with my own bullshit... I loathe Rule!63 and gender bending a character. If you play a trans character, that is great! Represent! If you play a non-binary character, that’s great! Represent! Transgender and Non-binary muns are also more than welcome here and I will die for you guys. But I see no inherent value in gender-bending an existing canon or OC muse. Unpopular opinion I know but like. I dunno it’s just not my D’jinni gig.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡ It is rare for me to dislike someone based on appearance alone but that being said.. Females FCs I greatly dislike: Nichole Kidman, Jennifer Connolly, Kiera Knightly Male FCs I greatly dislike: Woody Allen, Justin Bieber, pretty much most Youtube faces {Markiplier, Jack Septiceye, etc}, Stephen Collins, Chris Brown

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡ I have done both. Certain verses work best single ship {Main Beth, Star Wars AU, Justified AU, Deadwood AU} Others are happily multi-ship. One specific verse is poly-ship and that’s pretty much the only one.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: Listen guys, fluff can be great. Whether it’s brief comfort after a long angst, or a breath taken after something particularly intense has been written, or even a moment of domestic bliss can be amazing and character driven when treated with respect and care. And I am not opposed to that. Sometimes I will even really crave it. But I personally cannot sustain a fluffy thread for very long, especially if it’s random or not plotted out to some even slight degree. I also see a difference between Beth taking care of someone or {and this is speculation because it almost never happens} that someone takes care of Beth, and random fluff. Beth is a homebody nurturer and as such people find it ever so easy to take advantage of her good nature and her desire to genuinely make other people feel cared about. I, the mun however, am not Beth and while yes...I do try my hardest to be a nice, kind, and easy-going partner, have limits. If I feel you are taking advantage of me or Beth, I will talk to you. And if you continue to treat us like a door-mat, we will no longer be friends after that.

ANGST: I suppose a lot of what I write can fall into this category. Whether it’s main verse, SHIELD or Mage verses, or really any others, I gravitate toward drama, seriousness, pain, wounding, I mean.... She IS an ER nurse in most of her verses {or occasionally a COP/Secret Agent}. Most of her threads are interpersonal ones as well, and as such, are filled with the existential nature of what it means to be both human and maybe a little left of centre. Not only that, but given her background and history, there isn’t tons and tons of levity there. However, melodrama of soap-opera proportions, endless hurt/comfort on an endless lather/rinse/repeat cycle is also not my thing. If your muse is injured and needs help, or has emotional trouble, or symptomatic issues that can be worked through, that’s fantastic and sign me up. But there’s a line that should be watched carefully before it becomes ridiculous, and I would appreciate reciprocal attention from my mun partners. If Beth is going to be in your muse’s life, spare a thought for her on occasion. As I am a fiend for plotting though, I don’t see this as a bad thing, and something we can’t talk about to ensure maximum fun/enjoyment. I just need a little structure and direction to go in.

SMUT: So. I mean. Who doesn’t love the thrill of romance, and the “kissing parts” of the story, to quote the Princess Bride? However if that’s your primary goal {which, good on you...do what you like. Fair winds and following seas to you}, you’re probably going to be disappointed here. I do write smut, and I would like to thing I can write it well. Or at least well enough and adaptable enough to match my partner’s style/wants, etc. Beth is demisexual. She doesn’t experience primary physical attraction. In order to realise she might actually find you sexually attractive, she needs time to build up an emotional connection. And even if she does manage that, she might not know exactly how to express it. She is also qouiromantic meaning she cannot really tell if her feelings are romantic or platonic, something in between, aesthetically based, etc. She might never express any desires she may have, doesn’t have much in the realm of experience, has a lot of residual Catholic guilt, and a laundry list of other intimacy issues that are not easily overcome. We can talk about romance and shipping, but it’s not gonna be easy or fast and if that’s primarily what you’re looking for, we are probably not going to be a good fit together.

PLOT / MEMES! ♡ I absolutely require plotting for threads to go anywhere far, mostly because I tend to be a little scatterbrained and need some handrails and directions for where the story is going. However that doesn’t mean I need to plot out every single detail. Just...guidelines. As for memes, yes!please! I will post them randomly as I find ones that interest me. Send me one. Send me a dozen. I am slow, and threads have priorities over asks but I will always answer them. Always. And if I don’t post a meme, but you see one on your dash that interests you? Pop the question in my ask and I will answer!

tagged by: the ever adorable Naynay and thank you darling.

tagging: Put on the eye patch and run out the long nines. You know you wanna.

#Absolutely True Stories about Turtle #The Turtle Speaks|Mun Answered Asks

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your-brilliant-lady-m · 3 years

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South Korean music industry at a glance: an outsider perspective

I watched one particular AMV last week. The song used for the video was “I’m afraid” by Korean rock band DAY6. I was pleasantly surprised as someone who values lyrics in song first and foremost. The music itself was great. I’ll listen to their songs again. It’s a nice fit for my music taste. Naturally, YouTube’s algorithm decided that I’m a fan of everything Korean after 1 video and started spamming my recommendations with k-pop songs, documentaries and everything in-between.

I watched a couple of videos, listened to some songs and discovered fascinating patterns. So, I went down to the comment section. And it was rather interesting experience, should I say? The concept of entertainment industry in South Korea simply begged to be explored more after this. I dug deeper and visited Tumblr k-pop tags and briefly glanced upon Instagram and Twitter. And, oh...

I am a big picture person and I enjoy both studying and creating systems. This one was particularly fun to explore. I discovered a lot of new things for myself. Perhaps, you can discover something new for yourself too or take a step back and look at this from a new angle.

Disclaimer: it’s impossible not to offend someone on Tumblr, so keep that in mind. That being said, I do NOT intend to insult of offend anyone. It’s just a little research done for fun, because I love research with a purpose. This post is NOT A HATE post. No hate intended for fans, artists or other people involved. It’s meant to be a discussion, nothing more and nothing less. If it sounds like hate, it’s just my sarcastic sense of humour.

Content Warning: I mention suicide, death, depression, rape in a couple of sentences. There’s nothing major or graphic, but it’s there.

In this long post I decided to share with you my opinion, a so-called outsider perspective, on the world of music entertainment industry in South Korea and people involved in it on different levels. I use the word “outsider” mainly because, that’s exactly what I am in this case, as someone who is in no way involved in k-pop community. I can’t name you a single band or their members. I don’t know any solo artist and can’t neither sing nor name you any song.

And to be completely honest, I don’t think I will set my foot into k-pop fan-circles ever again after everything I saw.

Think of this as “In this essay I will...” meme, except there’s an actual essay.

As far as I know, in South Korea “k-pop” refers to all music produced in SK, including solo artists, various bands, singers-songwriters. It doesn’t even have to be pop music. Koreans include in this definition all genres of music. However, around the world “k-pop” means primarily music made by idol groups and bands marketed for children, teenagers and younger people. In this post I use the latter definition, because that’s how most people understand “k-pop” in other countries. Therefore, my statements, opinions and conclusions here would concern only idol music.

The music industry in South Korea is heavily influenced by culture and traditions of the country, just like all things are. And there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, different backgrounds are what makes people so interesting and unique. However, when combined with consumer mindset, desire to generate profit at any cost and fast-paced nature of modern life these neutral cultural elements could produce something concerning, and it can lead to disastrous consequences.

1. Idol

These people are called artists, musicians, singers, bands, groups, performers. In South Korea and in Japan, however, people call them Idols or Stars. I’ve also seen Muses, Princes and Queens. Interesting, isn’t it? The terminology used to describe these musicians in South Korea is one of the key elements in this whole entertainment system. You’ll see why.

But who or what is an idol exactly? Let’s take a basic definition from Wikipedia.

“In the practice of religion, a cult image or devotional image is a human-made object that is venerated or worshipped for the deity, person, spirit or daemon ... that it embodies or represents. In several traditions, including the ancient religions of Egypt, Greece and Rome, and modern Hinduism, cult images in a temple may undergo a daily routine of being washed, dressed, and having food left for them. Processions outside the temple on special feast days are often a feature. Religious images cover a wider range of all types of images made with a religious purpose, subject, or connection. In many contexts "cult image" specifically means the most important image in a temple, kept in an inner space, as opposed to what may be many other images decorating the temple.

The term idol is often synonymous with worship cult image. In cultures where idolatry is not viewed negatively, the word idol is not generally seen as pejorative, such as in Indian English.”

Cambridge Dictionary defines idol as follows:

And here’s the definition from Oxford Dictionary:

This is a centrepiece of this tapestry. Surely, you have noticed by now what these definitions have in common.

Idol = a cult image of a god, a deity

By calling these musicians “idols” industry makes society and audience treat them in certain way, namely as gods. What characteristics do gods possess? They are beautiful, talented, funny, confident and graceful, blessed by eternal youth of immortality. Gods have no flaws, they do not bleed, they are above human concerns. They are an embodiment of perfection. They are stars, you could not reach.

But real people are not like that. They can be sad and angry, insecure. People don’t have perfectly symmetrical faces. They can’t dance in sync without preparation. They can’t sing like angels at any given moment throughout the day.

What happens when idols accidentally reveal their humanity? What happens when people see, that they make mistakes and do stupid things, that they need to train hard to appear graceful on stage?

I will tell you. And it’s not pretty. But, first, let’s look at other elements of this system.

2. Y/N and Self-insert fantasy

Aside from the music, K-pop sells the self-insert fantasy to the audience. It’s carefully arranged to appear real, where the cracks are masked and every word is scripted. The reality is so vivid that one doesn’t even have to use imagination all that much, because all scenarios and decorations already exist. Countless interviews for TV and magazines, fan meetings, talk shows, reality shows made sure people are privy to all juicy details of personal lives and opinions of musicians. And also one word - merchandise. Some of that merch made me question my life choices. Some of it is, ah, creepy or has weird vibes. All of this provides plenty of material for people to work with. Fans can effortlessly imagine themselves beside their idols or even in their place.

In a highly competitive society, where people throw themselves into studying and work since young age, forming deep and lasting connections with others is very hard, sometimes impossible. As a result, people long to have a group of close friends with similar interests, a loving partner who would cherish them endlessly. People want to be rewarded for their backbreaking efforts to succeed by the carefree life of fame and music, everlasting friendships and love. And in a way you can’t really blame them for his.

Does this dream life sound familiar? We are looking at K-pop bands here. It doesn’t really matter if their members don’t always get along or that they can live in debt, that fame is fickle and adoring fans can tear your self-confidence to shreds. Audience wants the glamour of fantasy and the industry is more than happy to cater to these desires.

Perhaps, knowing that even for idols this fantasy is sometimes unattainable makes the whole set up feel just a little cruel.

3. Fans, stans and fandom culture

We’ve already established earlier that idols are gods in the eyes of people and listed traits they must possess. So, what else do gods need to exist? Worshippers. Because a cult is worth nothing without its followers. Gods need a group of people to worship them and spread their beliefs. The role of worshippers is performed by a fans in this case.

Apparently, there is a running joke that girl groups need to win a general public popularity and boy bands need a big passionate fandom. It seems to be true according to my observations.

In k-pop fandom people use the word “stan” to state that they like or support particular group. Now, I am sure everyone here knows that in other fandoms, dedicated to movies, shows, books and games there’s an important distinction between being a “fan” and a “stan”. What is it?

A fan is someone who likes a ship or character, creates and/or consumes fandom content, supports certain ideas, discusses things they enjoyed and disliked, criticises canon. Stans, however, are a different breed. They engage in all typical fandom activities, but their support and enjoyment becomes obsession. Stans believe their favourite characters and ships are immune to criticism, that they are superior no matter what others say. Stans start shipping wars, send anon hate, death threats over fictional characters and hurt real people. Stans are considered toxic fans. And majority of normal civilised people don’t like them and try their best to let stans hang out in their echo chamber by themselves.

In other fandoms and communities, to be a fan means to love, support and enjoy something, while to stan means to obsess over and hyperfixate on these same things. Words “I stan” rarely mean “I support” for most people, and if they do mean that, it’s only used in a joking manner (”We stan procrastination legend!”, “I stan our miscommunication kings”).

Everywhere else “stan” has only negative connotations, except in k-pop. But what has changed? What’s the difference? Why do international fans scoff at “shipper stans” and then turn around calling themselves “stans of X k-pop group” at the same time? Does it make you wonder?

And this is another core theme of k-pop, in my opinion. In fandom where stan = obsession = support, you can see interesting patterns.

Fandom loves their flawless gods. But watching them from afar is not enough for some people, because unlike deities in different religions, these gods live among us. People are very much aware of that. Industry has created a cult and laid the groundwork for worshippers to express their adoration in every way including personal contact. And who wouldn’t want to meet their god? Who wouldn’t want to know more about them or tell them how much you love them? In talk shows and fan meetings there is only so much one can do after all.

People desire to know more, to have more so much that their obsession transforms into concerning stalker tendencies. These crazy individuals follow idols, stalk them on social media, in hotels, research flight numbers, bribe security. Musicians were attacked and poisoned. I strongly suspect there were cases of rape that no one knows about. There is even a special term for these fans - “sasaeng”.

Is there a definition for stalkers of actors or musicians in western world? No, I’m pretty sure there isn’t. They are just called “invasive/obsessive fans” or “stalkers”.

Also, there are sasaeng memes. Yeah, you heard that right. I enjoy some classy dark humour as much as the next person, but there is a fine line between normal and questionable.

Back to the topic of stalkers. Do you realise how disturbing that is? Such behaviour is so common that there is a term for it. You create a fandom-cult, encourage people to worship k-pop idols as gods and then act surprised when members of said cult become fanatics and their adoration becomes obsession.

And it’s so easy to step on this slippery road. The system makes it ridiculously easy. Lines begin to blur. How much is too much? Where do you draw the line?

While sasaeng fans engage in extreme real-life obsession, people online aren’t that far off, to be honest. I’ve seen it all: imagines, headcanons, fanfiction, real-person shipping, reactions. Real person shipping is a controversial topic. Some people support it, others don’t. I suppose I’m among those who don’t get it. I’m not exactly against it, but I find it strange. Mainly because it’s based on assumptions made by fans about personalities and behaviour of real people.

Assumptions. Dear me! K-pop fandom has this thing with video compilations. I’ve never seen this phenomenon being so widespread in any other community or fandom. Basically people edit together a collection of short clips from talk-shows, interviews, Instagram stories, some YouTube videos, etc and then proceed to analyse every gesture, word, facial expression of idols and provide both audio and on-screen commentary. These videos and many other forms of similar analysis allow people to imagine what kind of personalities idols have, what kind of life do they live. It’s the source material for fanfiction, imagines and headcanons.

But it’s not real. It’ll never be real. It’s an illusion, an image, a stage persona. They fall in love with a face and made up personality. And I think that when people create this content they can forget this. Fans can develop certain emotional dependence and unhealthy attitudes in the long run. In some YouTube comments even supportive and encouraging words sound whiny and obsessive. And semantics of being a “stan” of certain group or individual doesn’t help.

4. Industry, companies and liars

At last we arrive at the most important aspect of music entertainment industry - its creators.

Have you seen “The Road to El Dorado”? It’s one of my all time favourites. It has iconic characters, adult jokes that I didn’t get as a child and iconic soundtrack. I’ll quote “It’s Tough To Be A God” a lot here.

In South Korea music industry is a factory, the production line to be exact. This kind of set up affects everything in the grand scheme of things. Companies and agencies play the role of training centres and record labels. And there are so many of them that a whole new scamming system developed based around fake idol agencies. It implies that there are people who fall for offers of these agencies and continue to do so. I suspect that victims must pay a fortune upfront before they realise their mistake. Are there any kind of legal protection against such scams? How can people verify the authenticity? Because a well masked scam can exist for a long time before someone discovers it and calls them out on their nonsense.

As far as I understand legal companies work like this. After high school, which is often focused on performing arts (and private schools can get away with using talents of students for personal gain, which is totally not surprising), young people can audition for an agency and become an idol in training or idol-trainee. And passing audition is hard. But good recommendations can help, connections too.

During training you don’t get paid. Only a few companies pay aspiring musicians. People can spend years in training and don’t debut. But rent, necessities, clothing and food (not that you need much of it, but more on that later) cost a lot. Where do you get the money to live then? Support from parents, one or two part time jobs at most and bank loans. Surprise! We found an unexpected (just kidding, it’s very obvious) party, who reaps benefits from the system.

You need skill to be an idol. Natural talent helps too. The more skills you have, the cheaper and faster your training is. To level up your game you attend classes every month offered by your agency, which are not cheap (dance classes range from 400$ to 1000$ per month, sometimes more). There are four main categories in evaluation process: vocals, rapping, dancing and visuals. Idols are multitaskers, to have a chance on stage one must be perfect at everything. And people are ready to invest thousands of dollars into their kids training so that they could have a chance in entertainment industry. South Korea thrives on revenue k-pop industry generates every day.

Let’s pause here for a second and think about what kind of people come to these agencies. The answer is easy. People who have a dream, a desire, a real goal. You don’t wake up one day and decide to become a k-pop idol. Sometimes people get invited by agencies (after prior acting, modelling career or any other form of exposure). These people are usually very young. Some start straight after high school, some after university, but 25 years old is considered a late start. Compare that to western musicians who start singing at any age and still become famous.

But why this age limit? Because idols are eternally young. So that in public eye musicians are remembered as 20 year old gods. People would listen to their music and imagine a young attractive face. Career in k-pop is short, it lasts 5-7 years, rarely longer than that. It’s even less than modelling or acting can offer. And professional sportsmen retire in their late 30′s. Some play longer, but usually, that’s it.

If you live in Los Angeles and say that you want to be an actor or performer, no one would bat an eye. It’s like saying that you want to be an engineer or accountant. Similarly, in South Korea becoming an k-pop musician is a real career. Because part of the self insert fantasy that the industry sells is the idea that anyone can be an idol. It’s easy after all. Anyone can pass auditions and become a trainee. A trainee with no guarantee of debut. But one should never underestimate the power of idol-dream. After all, idea is the most resilient parasite.

“My friends started training in kindergarten. They have wanted to become idols since young”

“A lot of young kids get interested in Korean music”

A 6-year old child sees the performance of k-pop group for the first time on TV. Let’s say it’s a girl. She is enraptured and decides that she will be like that too someday. She grows up, while being part of the fandom, just like all idols are in one way or another and whose fan-obsession transforms into desire to succeed. Her parents spend time and money to find her tutors, to fund dancing and singing classes. Perhaps in high school this girl decides to fix the shape of her eyes and make nose straighter. She trains hard and passes the auditions in her dream agency. And during training this girl faces the reality of behind the scenes life in music industry.

“Why are you crying? I’m not even pushing you”

“How many times have I told you? The rest are doing it perfectly”

“She is dancing like an elementary school student“

“I watched your performance as a spectator who bought a ticket to your concert. I want a refund“

“You make my ears hurt. I don’t want to listen at all”

“Listening to you was tiring”

“I’ll kick you out instead. You won’t debut”

“I thought I was going to die. That’s how determined I was”

While I do understand that keeping a high quality standards in media industry is important, there are more productive and healthy ways to motivate someone to improve and be more passionate, you know? Constantly insulting people with sadistic glee and putting them down at every opportunity or calling them ugly to their face doesn’t do much.

Do you think that children know about this? Do they know about soulless teachers and belittling managers? Do they know about friends who are really your competition, so you shouldn’t get attached? Do they know about living in debt? Do they know any of this? No, I don’t think they do.

Children dream about the stage, about the sea of lights and crowds who chant your names. They want adoring fans and photoshoots. They want to appear on TV and magazine covers. Teenagers want the thrill of performance, they want to share their music and dancing with others.

“I don’t know how many times I cried alone”

The truth is cruel. But they won’t give up easily even if it means sleeping 4-5 hours and consuming no more than 500 calories per day. Because giving up means that your whole life was a lie. One can’t afford not to be good enough. Giving up means admitting that all efforts and money your family invested into your dream were in vain. It means losing face before your family and friends - a fate worse than death. Imagine living this idol dream and building your whole future around it and then being told that you’ll never debut because of the circumstances outside of your control or something minor, like face shape or 1 kg of weight that your body refuses to lose. It can break you. Especially if you are like 18 or something.

5. “And who am I to bridle if I'm forced to be an idol If they say that I'm a God, that's what I am”

“I don’t think there’s anything a tough as being a trainee in Korea”

Once you are a trainee at the agency your personal life does not belong to you anymore. You can’t go out without permission of the agency. You phone is taken away. Your diet and weight are monitored. Bad habits are not allowed (no smoking, drinking or drugs). Oh! I think I found the good thing in the system! Unfortunately, it won’t last. Trainees can’t date or meet with family without permission of agency. Dating is very taboo. Even established idols can’t openly date.

Why is that? Because gods can’t belong to anyone. Their lives are property of the fandom. Because openly dating idols destroy the self-insert fantasy. There was a former idol girl who dated another musician. She was called a whore by her fans, her loving and adoring stans. You might know who I am talking about. Would you call an American actor or singer a prostitute for dating someone?

Trainees sign the contract. And how can a young person straight out of school or university know much about what makes a good contract in entertainment industry or what makes a good contract in general? Even if you do understand the terms fully you would still sign it because if you have come so far, you can’t let your dream slip this easily. There isn’t a choice. Not really. If you want to debut, you will agree to anything.

What about life after debut? You have to pay off your loans. And company takes 60-70% of your group’s earnings. Artists themselves get 30-40% and split it between themselves. K-pop groups have from 5 to 10 members or more than that. Each person gets less than 6%. Idols are not filthy rich. They are not. These earnings are practically nothing compared to the work you have put into this.

Idols are musicians, who often don’t even write their own songs, music or create choreography. But if public doesn’t like the song and musical number the company created, they blame idols for the failure. Such an amazing logic we see right here. But people say that sharing music is the best part of idol life. But whose music?

Models on catwalk are not there to demonstrate their physical beauty, they are blank canvas for works of clothing designers. Same with k-pop musicians. They act like puppets in a way, whose faces and voices are used to show audience someone’s music and songs. Some groups do write their own music and lyrics and it’s nice to know that. But those, who don’t are rather unfortunate. It’s a nice tool of psychological control and pressure for an agency. They can hold it over group and use the following rhetoric: “We gave you everything! Why can’t you follow the simple instructions” or “Where would you be without us? It’s not even your music!”

I called k-pop industry a factory. That’s true. Dozens of people become trainees every year. These talented young people are fully prepared to do anything to achieve their goal. They are ready to practice until they collapse, starve themselves and pour themselves into every song. Companies know that. Tell me why would they value their idols as individuals, as people, as human beings if they always have a replacement? Why bother with mental health of their artists if next year they could have a fresh set of people, who are younger and prettier? Why try to improve relationships inside groups if you could fire any member and replace them within a month or two?

In western countries famous bands have different stories. Some were friends since high school, who played in bars and during festivals and then they were noticed by some representative of label company, who offered them a contract. Some groups were formed by like-minded people who bonded and decided to share their music with the world. There are many stories, but ultimately the have one thing in common. Bands in the West often form themselves. These people had time to bond, connect, discover each other, solve some disagreements and learn to work around their differences.

K-pop groups are formed by their agencies. They are their property in a way. Company selects the best and puts together these total strangers, appoints the leader with marketable face and personality and then expects them to work together like a well-oiled machine. No one has time to bond during training, because other people are you competition, not friends. And then you must learn to work as a team and be best friends on camera for the audience to support the self-insert fantasy. It’s no wonder that k-pop groups don’t get along sometimes. And every member knows that they are replaceable. It doesn’t help in forming connections. Groups can’t just terminate contract and go to work with another agency. I heard it happens sometimes, but it’s not a done thing. Unlike in other countries where bands just sign the deal with a different label and release their music under their name if they don’t like the old conditions.

“It's tough to be a God But if you get the people's nod Count your blessings, keep them sweet, that's our advice Be a symbol of perfection Be a legend, be a cult Take their praise, take a collection As the multitudes exalt Don a supernatural habit We'd be crazy not to grab it So sign up two new Gods for paradise”

But is it really a paradise?

Idols are expected to act cute, to match personalities created for them by fans or media. They have to act according to the concept of their group. They have to be a symbol of perfection: skinny, single and with a face perfected by surgery. They are allowed to mess up, but only in a cute way. They can break down and cry, but only if it’s “aesthetic”.

Weight issues are a separate topic. Sometimes I wonder whether managers in companies understand how weight loss or human body in general works. To be honest, I think that scales in agencies are rigged. And only managers know that. I know it can be done from personal experience. Some beach resorts tweak their scales and make them show 4-6 kg less than actual weight, so people wouldn’t get upset if they gain some. There is no way a girl as tall as I am (173 cm) could weigh like 47-50 kg and be able to perform complex choreography on stage and sing without being out of breath, visit the gym on a regular basis and generally function as a normal human without fainting every other day.

“I developed a lot of eating disorders”

“I think I consumed about 300 calories today“

“Someone, please, trim the fat off her arms”

If you grow up thinking of idols as gods and then, when you become one of them you think that you must act as one too. But being an easily replaceable god is a heavy burden. The industry, companies and audience want you to be perfect, to always be on your best behaviour. And the thought of not being good enough or divine enough terrifies you, because stans have no mercy (black ocean concept is the most stupid thing ever by the way). This kind of pressure can destroy even the most resilient. And it does.

Almost everyone knows that situation with mental health in South Korea is not the best to put it lightly. In many ways it’s a cultural thing. But in k-pop mental health issues are treated with even less care. Gods are not supposed to be depressed or suicidal. They are not supposed to have fears or insecurities, can’t be upset or angry. They try hard to be this deity, this image. So, even when they realise they need professional help or even a friend to talk to, they either won’t seek said help or reach out only to be met with silence. Some agencies disapprove or forbid therapy altogether.

Sometimes fandom becomes self-aware.

“Don’t forget that idols are people too!”

“Your favourite idols are running out of breath just to keep you entertained“

“They are humans, who have feelings!”

Oh, but here’s the thing, my friend. The industry doesn’t want you to think of them as people. Companies and media repeatedly reinforce the idea that they are not people, they are your idols. And strangely enough, the audience supports this idea. People continue to call them idols, developing worshiping tendencies in the process, imitate them, scrutinise their flaws and triumphs. Because, you know, only “real and ordinary humans” can have flaws, not “idols”.

So people who say “they are human too” and people who say “wow, this concert was amazing, but vocals in the beginning were so off-key, I simply can’t” are one and the same.

This thought process would have been funny if it wasn’t so disappointing. But that’s just my observation.

And here’s another thing about sexualisation. I said before how appearances are everything, marketable face and body could drastically improve your chances to succeed. Companies know about this too and concepts and aesthetics of groups are designed accordingly. Girls are dressed in skimpy outfits, their dances are unnecessary suggestive, they wear heavy make up and try to have “mature” vibes. Boys don’t avoid such objectification either: suits, tight pants and dress shirts along with make up and hairstyle to give audience a promise of the things to come. Grown adults are not supposed to lust after 15-17 year olds. You can’t just create a sexy stage persona for teenagers. Do you remember my earlier words about creepy merch? Yeah. All of it neatly plays into the self-insert fantasy and encourages obsessive behaviour.

This happens in western countries too. In some way that’s understandable. Beautiful and sexy image with a hint of innocence attracts more people and sells, because it caters to one of the base human instincts. But some things make your skin crawl.

Sponsorships are another topic. Some k-pop bands seek out sponsors to provide financial aid and cover expenses, when earnings are not enough. Sometimes these sponsorships are fine, perfectly civil. But sometimes it’s a prostitution. Girl groups receive money and provide sexual favours to their patrons. It’s a way for the group to gain financial support and even find new opportunities in the industry. Companies can encourage such deals. Let that sink in for a moment.

6. “Any advice to those who want to become a k-pop idol?”

A lot of former idols and trainees have similar responses to this question.

“I don’t want to discourage anyone, but think twice”

“You only see the glamorous side, but don’t see all the hard work that goes into it”

“It’s not what you think”

“They think ‘Since I am good looking and can sing and dance really well, maybe I should become an idol?’, but there is much more to it“

“They think it’s something that is easy and will keep their family set for life financially”

And this implies that most people don’t know what kind of lifestyle k-pop stars truly have, despite the amount of information available online about “behind the scenes” proceedings.

7. Moving on

I am a practical person and every decision I make is subjected to scrutiny. And after seeing everything I can't help but wonder whether idols believe it's truly worth it. What keeps the industry alive is the idol-dream, the wilful ignorance of its reality and youthful idealism, the beautiful naïve belief that it'll get better, even if it never does in the end.

Sure no one would ever admit it out loud, because it's one of those things you never say on camera, no matter how sincere you have to be. It's the matter of professionalism after all, and idols have it spades. And also, because admitting this would equal admitting that you spent your best years doing something you both loved and hated, admitting that this was a mistake.

When you grow up in a society where appearances matter the most, where saving face and being polite is more important than staying true to yourself, where individuality is tolerated only to a certain point, it takes a lot of courage to admit that you need a break. I greatly respect those who decided that idol lifestyle is not for them and moved on.

8. Conclusion

To sum up, I hope you enjoyed my small research and this perspective, since you have read it all the way to the end.

You have noticed that entertainment industry is an intricate system and its every component makes sure nothing changes. Companies have power over idols and audience, fandom has power over idols and their careers, and musicians themselves have fame and their music, but not always the promised fortune or happiness.

It’s important to understand the big picture to draw your own conclusions and encourage positive and heathy attitudes in fandoms. Being open minded and allowing people to make mistakes and live their lives the way they want to is a part of being a decent person. People don’t owe anything to others. Art is about sharing your thoughts and feelings, promoting ideas and spreading beauty. It’s not always about money. And I think that this is what k-pop lacks as an industry. It turned dreams and human need for self-expression into business. Here everything is turned into a product. Everything idols touch can be sold, sometimes literally. Industry created problems, which can’t be solved anymore, because doing so would topple the system. And I find it tragic. Trapped in an endless chase after perfection creators of k-pop forgot that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

If you take a look at comment sections and posts on different platforms, what will you see? What kind of things resonate with audience? What makes people laugh and cry? When people start to appreciate the substance?

“Everyone needs to hear this song in their darkest moments”

“Thank you for your music!”

“They always deliver! These guys can’t make a bad song!”

“It inspired me to write again!”

“Their songs brought me and my sister together once again”

“This is what happens when you let groups write their own music - they make incredible things”

“They really are legends of k-pop! I love that they are not afraid to show their inner strength”

“Stay strong! You rock!”

I believe that the answer is quite simple: when it’s real, sincere. It’s all about the message you choose to send to your audience, because only superficial things cause obsession. When you say that the sparkly façade is all that matters, then that’s the only thing people will ever care about. Your audience will never give a damn about the meaning behind dancing, music or lyrics, if you tell them that performance is more important. No one would praise WHAT k-pop idols sing, instead they would prefer wasting breath to criticize HOW they sing or look or move.

I dare the k-pop industry to prove people that it’s not just about looks or perfection, or laser shows, or being a branding machine. Prove to your fans that k-pop artists are also passionate people with big dreams and talent, who love every moment of their job, who live and inspire, who are human just like us and whose humanity is real!

Do it, you cowards!

And now, I’m finished. I can hear the raging crowd of k-pop fandom in the distance, which means it’s time to hide. See you some other time!

#k-pop #korean music #k-rock #k-pop idol #k-pop meta #k-pop discussion #k-pop fandom criticism

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hamiltimes · 4 years

Note

Answer all of them. 1-170. have fun.

HELL YES LETS GOOOOOOOO

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

5′2″. Exactly how tall I am now. I like being short.

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

I’ve always wanted a ferret. They can weed out people for me. If a person says “Ew, it’s a rat” then they ain’t worth my time.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

Whatever’s on sale. Preferably baggy and comfortable

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Always has been and always will be the Nancy Drew computer games. I’m obsessed. There are 32 games (we don’t talk about number 33), and I’ve played each one dozens of times.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

My laptop, my dog, my tumblr account

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Prone to spontaneous breakdowns, both physically and mentally.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

Honest opinion on @Elizard-Hamilton, the person who sent this ask: They’re super sweet and kind, and probably the first reciprocal tumblr friendship I’ve ever had.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Don’t know what that is, too drunk to figure it out right now.

9: Are you ticklish?

God yes. But I retaliate. If you tickle me, you will die.

10: Are you allergic to anything?

No, that’s the one medical thing that I don’t have.

11: What’s your sexuality?

Hetero-Demi Sexual. So I like men, but I’m only sexually attracted to them if we’ve been close for a long time.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

Cocoa, always. Specifically, Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate. Medium, 2 creams.

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

Dog. Always.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

I answered this one already, definitely merperson.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

Nope.

16: How tall are you?

See above.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

I’d just add an L to my name. New name, pronounced the same.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

Right now, 126 lbs. But I should be 110. I just got off a medication that made me gain 40 pounds practically overnight. I went from 100 pounds to 140 pounds. I’m slowing losing the weight.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

Not in the traditional sense, but I do believe there are things about the departed we don’t yet understand. Kind of like way back when they though lightning was a supernatural event, until they found a scientific explanation for it. I think there’s stuff we just haven’t discovered yet.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

Ocean.

21: Are you religious?

Nope, athiest.

22: Pet peeves?

Idk, I can’t think of any right now.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

Wtf I don’t know? Who cares? I’d rather be whatever koalas are. They sleep 22 hours a day.

24: Favorite constellation?

The only one I can think of right now is big dipper. That makes it my favourite and also my least favourite constellation.

25: Favorite star?

See question 24, but North Star.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

I don’t know what that is? Do you mean like Barbie? I litterally watching Barbie Nutcracker right now, lol.

27: Any phobias or fears?

Spiders.

28: Do you think global warming is real?

Duh.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

No.

30: Favorite movie?

Does Hamilton count? If yes, that. If not, Knives Out. I’m a sucker for a good murder mystery.

31: Do you get scared easily?

Yes.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

Oh god. Idk. You’re going to make me do math on vacation. Lets see. 3 Dogs, 2 Cats, ungodly numbers of fish, 2 rats, 5 hermit crabs, 3 hamsters, probably others I can’t remember.

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

@elizard-hamilton 10/10. 5 stars. Thumbs up. Gold Star.

34: What is a color that calms you?

Royal Purple. I used to have a bedroom where everything was royal purple. The walls, the furniture, the bedding, the accessories. Everything. It was a great time in my life, so the colour makes me think of good times.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

I’d love to go to Belgium. My grandmother was born there, and we still have family over there that I’ve never met.

36: Where were you born?

London Ontario

37: What is your eye color?

Hazel

38: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

Not at all

40: Hugs or kisses?

None of the above. I have Asperger's, I don’t like to be touched.

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

I’d love to see my BFF from high school again. Haven’t talked to her since we graduated. Rachel, if you’re out there, I miss you.

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

My parents.

43: Any piercings you want?

None.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

Nope. I don’t have anything against them, they’re just not for me. If you have them, I won’t think any less of you. There’s nothing wrong with them.

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

Nope. I’ve already got really shitty lungs (I have Cystic Fibrosis), I’d rather not make them worse than they already are.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

Oh gosh, he’s cute, funny, talented, a great singer, a great writer, he wrote a hit broadway musical... oh, he doesn’t count? Then no, no one right now.

47: What is a sound you really hate?

Styrofoam rubbing against more styrofoam.

48: A sound you really love?

The notification sound tumblr makes when I get something in my inbox

49: Can you do a backflip?

HA no.

50: Can you do the splits?

HA HA no.

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

Do I even need to answer this? I’m going to anyway. It’s..... drumroll........ Danny Devito! Lol, no, it’s Lin Manuel-Miranda

52: Favorite movie?

This is the same as question 30.

53: How are you feeling right now?

Drunk. Next question.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

Purple. I used to have purple hair. Then I got older and got a real job and I’m not allowed to die my hair anymore.

55: When did you feel happiest?

At 16, with my purple hair and purple bedroom and my bff in like grade 11

56: Something that calms you down?

Hamilton

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

Asperger’s, Depression, situational anxiety.

58: What does your URL mean?

Every time is Hamiltime. Because it’s always time for Hamilton.

59: What three words describe you the most?

Bizarre, confrontational, idk. Is there a word that means unwilling to put up with anyone’s bullshit? Because if so, then that.

60: Do you believe in evolution?

Yes. Evolution is a fact, it’s been proven. So this question should not say do you believe in evolution, it should say do you accept evolution.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

If they start posting stuff i disagree with, or if they totally veer into a new fandom I’m not interested in. I’ve lost so many good blogs to kpop.

62: What makes you follow a blog?

Idk, I like their stuff?

63: Favorite kind of person:

Kind people.

64: Favorite animal(s):

Pug.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

I’m not going to start naming friends, cause I’ve got way more than three and I know I’m going to forget someone, so here’s 3 random blogs I enjoy: gmoringgnight, tinywhim, torsnavi

66: Favorite emoticon:

I’m on my laptop, i don’t have emoticons right now, but probably the one where he’s crying laughing

67: Favorite meme:

All of them. I love all the memes.

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

I’m too drunk to remember right now, ask me tomorrow.

69: What is your star sign?

Pisces

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

He cannot. He’s an idiot. But he can give you a high five, if that counts for something.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

Leggings, T-Shirt, Hoodie. Whatever’s clean.

72: Post a selfie or two?

73: Do you have platform shoes?

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

I can solve a rubik’s cube

75: Can you do a front flip?

LOL NO

76: Do you like birds?

To look at, not to own or touch

77: Do you like to swim?

Very much. In the water, it’s the one place my back doesn’t hurt.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

Swimming. I don’t skate. I know, oh wow, a Canadian who can’t skate. Sue me.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

Trump.

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

Alex Clairmont-Diaz

81: Piercings you have?

My ears are pierced.

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

Reading

83: Favorite person to talk to:

My mom

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

Amazing, finally a place I can be as weird as I want and it’s totally anonymous.

85: How many followers do you have?

I have no idea.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

HA no

87: Do your socks always match?

Yes

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

When I was 14, they did a surgery where they put metal rods in my spine to keep it from growing crooked. My spine doesn’t bend at all. So I’ve never tried to touch my toes, but I’m going to go with no, I can’t.

89: What are your birthstones?

I think Aquamarine? I don’t remember.

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

Koala. They sleep 22 hours a day.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

I can’t think of any flowers right now beyond rose and tulip, and neither represent me. Is there a flower that’s really ugly? If so, that.

92: A store you hate?

Gap. I despise that store with every escence of my being.

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

None. It tastes like manure.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

Ooh, fly. No more wheelchair.

95: Do you like to wear camo?

I don’t think i particularly like or dislike it. I just don’t wear it.

96: Winter or summer?

SUMMER ALL THE TIME

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

Not long at all. See explanation above, r.e. Cystic Fibrosis

98: Least favorite person?

Trump

99: Someone you look up to:

My mom

100: A store you love?

Hot Topic. Yes, I’m basic like that.

101: Favorite type of shoes

Flats, cause I don’t have to attempt to bend over to put them on.

102: Where do you live?

Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Yes, I’m serious.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

Nope.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Wtf? Are people supposed to have a favourite mineral or gem?

105: Do you drink milk?

106: Do you like bugs?

107: Do you like spiders?

108: Something you get paranoid about?

If I remembered to turn off my computer before I go to bed.

109: Can you draw:

Nope

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

On a daily basis, people ask me why I use my scooter or my wheelchair. Every day. Not so much during the pandemic, but yeah.

111: A question you hate being asked?

“When are you going to get a boyfriend?” “When are you going to settle down?”

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

NOPE

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Who doesn’t?

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Cloudy, cause then I can stay indoors guilt-free

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

My dog. But he’s with my sister.

116: Favorite cloud type:

???? Is this something I’m supposed to have an opinion on?????

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

???? IDGAF ??????

118: Do you have freckles?

119: Favorite thing about a person:

Their laugh

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Fruit

121: Something you want to do right now:

Get another drink, but that’s probs not a great idea

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

Ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Sweet

124: Bright or dim lights?

Dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

I can’t reblog ads. Some of those ads are really, REALLY funny.

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

Completely anonymous. I could be anyone. For all you know, I’m actually Mike Pence. (I promise I’m not)

128: What do you think about the least?

Idk? There’s probably lots of stuff I’ve never thought about at all

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

Nothing, but I want there to be a little machine on top that looks like a parking meter, and when you put money in it you get wifi for an hour.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

Trump, most of the politicians in the states. I want to go to New York, and I can’t because y’all can’t get your shit together and kick this virus.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

My face. Not going to elaborate.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes, but only because I get yelled at if I don’t.

133: Computer or TV?

Computer.

134: Do you like roller coasters?

I used to. Then the back surgery and now I can’t anymore.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

Motion sickness no, seasickness yes.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

Lobed.

137: Do you believe in karma?

I believe that what you do will eventually come back to bite you in the ass, but I don’t believe in some cosmic force that balances the scales.

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

0. Not going to elaborate.

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

None. My name has always been Adele. The few people who tried to give me nicknames got shot down real quick.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

When I was little, yeah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

Yes ma’am. For over a decade.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

Both at different times.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

Giving. I never know what to say when receiving.

144: What makes you angry

A lot of things these days. Can’t think of anything specific. My sister, usually.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

Two. I speak French and English.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

Boys.

147: Are you androgynous?

Nope.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

My face. Not going to elaborate.

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

My “take no shit” attitude.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

Lin Manuel Miranda, Renee Elise Goldsberry, anyone from West Wing

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Revolutionary America

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

I’ve been known to partake.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

Nope. I’m forever alone.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

No. I have Asperger’s. No touching.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

No.

156: What embarrasses you?

When I need to ask for help for really simple things because of my wheelchair or other disabilities. I hate it.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

The future, for reasons way too complex to write in a tumblr post.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

I convinced half my second grade class I was related to Elton John once. That was fun. They believed it for like 3 months.

159: How many people are you following?

Hundreds.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

I don’t even know how I would find that out.

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

Right now, I have 12, but that’s because I’ve queued up the next 4 days HamiltonHungerGames. Usually, I have none. I don’t understand how people have drafts. When I feel like writing something on tumblr, I start a post, I end the post, I post it. I never use drafts

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

??? Again, I have no idea how to find that information.

163: Last time you cried and why:

I honestly don’t remember.

164: Do you have long or short hair?

Usually long, but right now short. My mom decided to give me a covid haircut, and she does not understand the meaning of “Just a trim”.

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

Down to my butt.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

Dislike. I’m not going to talk about it here, but if you’re really curious you can dm me.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

Yes, because if we know where the universe and world came from, we can figure out where it’s headed. See the book Origins by Dan Brown.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Not at all.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

I can barely stand on my feet for more than 30 seconds.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Tried to.

Ok, this took me an hour and 45 minutes. I’m tired, I’m drunk, I’m going to regret this in the morning, I’m going to bed. Night y’all.

5 notes · View notes

thatlittledandere · 4 years

Note

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 15, 16, 17, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 31 and 40 for that shipper ask meme (sorry for picking so many but those questions are GOOD)

You're right, they absolutely are. I'm sorry in advance that this is gonna be LONG and I'm on mobile so I can't even add a read more;;

1. Talk about the first ship you ever had

So I'm SURE there were relationships I was invested in in movies and cartoons I watched as a child (I've always been a sucker for romance, even though there was that period when I didn't want to admit it) but I can't remember anything from very far back;; So it was either Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter or Ichigo and Masaya from Tokyo Mew Mew, whichever I read first.

2. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life

GOSH. You can't do this to me. I guess Romione because it was the time in my preteens when I was becoming more aware of... stuff, in general, abs the two cemented my love for friends-to-lovers. Then Ioryuu, because I've never been AS invested in and passionate about a ship before and likely never will. Nothing can compare to that intensity and ngl I miss it;; I miss the genuine hype I felt in my heart that made me interact with people and make things. So many things. I honestly can't think of a third one with such a lasting impact, sorry;;

3. What's your current OTP?

I imagine Souyo scenarios in my head every night before falling sleep and every morning after waking up, this is not a joke not an exaggeration. I still feel a little traitorous saying this on tumblr but their dynamic IS somewhat similar to the way I see Ioryuu so-

4. What's your current NoTP?

I don't think I have one? I have dislikes, some of them strong, but I don't see any of them often enough to be, like, actively angry. I have better uses for my time than willingly exposing myself to stuff I don't like.

5. Do you have any poly ships?

Not generally, juggling two characters is enough work lol. The only poly ships I've ever really actively shipped are Niels, Duncan and Natalie from the web comic Niels And the Gang by humon and Kinatsuen from Boueibu, but neither are actively on my mind much these days.

8. Have you ever shipped yourself with a character?

BOY HAVE I EVER. I've seen someone on tumblr have a side blog for self-shopping and not gonna lie, it's an excellent idea. My late teens were spent reading character x reader fics on Quotev and I started my fic career with the same genre. I don't really know what to do with myself when I DON'T actively ship myself with a character, which is my state of being now that Yosuke surpassed Yoosung as my favorite character;; Ibushi and Yoosung are the biggest ones but man oh boy I have shipped myself with characters from early age and I'm showing no signs of stopping! There's a reason that I main dating sims.

15. Have you ever "shipped at first sight"?

Not for long. I SUCK at forming first impressions. Usually if I start thinking I'll ship something, I end up not being so invested in it after all, and instead shipping something I swore off at first lmao. Which leads us to...

16. Talk about a ship you initially disliked

As a rule of thumb, all of them. I don't understand HOW it keeps happening but somehow almost all the ships I truly care/d about (that I didn't start shipping through osmosis before knowing them in the source material) started out as something I thought I "wouldn't be able to get behind." Gajevy. Shikatema. Sasunaru. Doctor/Rose. Karabita. Atsutodo. Kiribaku. Yoozen. Enatsu. Freaking IORYUU. EVEN SOUYO. IT'S BEEN YEARS I REALLY SHOULD KNOW THE PATTERN BY NOW

17. Talk about a pairing you've stopped shipping romantically

Like, I started to think they're better as friends after all? I guess NaLi. Then again, I mostly only shipped them out of spite in the first place because I wanted a counter for N/a//Lu, which I never liked at all;;

20. Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping

Now this time I can say for sure that there isn't one. I can't come up with ships myself and stay on board if there isn't content for it, canon or otherwise;; It's not a conscious decision or anything, it's just how my mind works. I get attached to stuff by exposure, whether from fans or the source material, and if the source material has enough content for two characters for me to pick up on and become interested, it's guaranteed to be enough to become a somewhat popular ship.

21. Is there a ship you just don't get, but have nothing against?

Actually... That's the extent I go to with notp'ing these days. I'm passionate about the right to ship whatever you want so by proxy I can't have anything "against" a ship, even if the sheer thought of it existing makes me nauseous. And I know how to think from points of view other than my own, so I can usually see the appeal, even if it appeals to me personally less than eating dog shit while walking barefoot on rusty nails that are also on fire.

That said, the only ships I have on my Tumblr blacklist are Yoo//ra/n and Suza//lu/lu because they're both popular ships for characters whose tags I am/was following and therefore get suggested a lot even if I want following anyone who ships then. Oh, and all B/LMa//tsu ships! I generally can't feel good about incestuous ships, but can and will fight for their shippers' right to do as they please as long as they stay respectful. (never saw blmatsus who weren't respectful. saw a plethora of anti-blmatsus who were absolute demons. actually the reason i moved away from the last remnants of my anti mindset was that i didn't want to be associated with THOSE anti-blmatsus, when the shippers they wanted dead were all such sweet people. food for thought.)

22. Which of your ships have the best chemistry?

All of them?? Lmao I don't understand this question, isn't shipping all about liking the chemistry between characters? Or the potential for it I guess, in which case the chemistry is whatever you want it to be, which is great B) I'm sorry I keep accidentally dodging questions I'm bad at choosing examples from a long, unordered list

23. Which of your ships deserve better writing?

Hhhhhhh I shipped Jerza for years and was still unsatisfied with their ending, Jellal didn't get to heal enough and we didn't really see them working through their past in an effective way and getting comfortable around each other. It's like they were supposed to be friends to enemies to lovers but the last part didnt really develop and their relationship stagnated at the stage were they were both just permanently awkward out of regret, and couldn't bring themselves out of it even though everything was forgiven forever ago. Or I've forgotten a lot of stuff that happened. Very likely. Is your a case of bad writing or good writing not working out the way I wanted it to? You're asking the wrong person.

25. Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs/graphics or similar?

EYUP. Harumichi was my otp for like a whole year before I saw a single episode with them lol. It was crazy, but it was REAL. I've also went into shows already paying attention to things I knew my friends/people I follow shipped, kind of hoping I'd get into it.

26. Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic I'm writing these questions down from screenshots and I cropped the rest of this one out by accident rip

Eeeh I go for the obvious. Best friend pairs, obvious pining, some rivalry with sexual tension, though I don't really know what to do with those. Then there's the fact that I never see it coming sick Persona 5 reference bro and start shipping the couple I thought "should just be friends" at first. This is more about my relationship to the ships than their dynamic but it's very constant...

27. Is there a ship you've shipped for most of your life?

Hmmm well I got into HP and started shipping Romione sometime in mid elementary school so it's definitely been more than half my lifetime since, but I don't really know if I "ship it" anymore. I didn't start disliking them or anything but for me, "shipping" is an active intrest in a fictional relationship, so if it reaches the stage where I like it, in theory, but I don't have the feels, it doesn't really count. That's why I can say I like ships without shipping them. It's gotta be actively on my brain, man.

31. Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love

I haven't mentioned Kannao once, which is criminal. So here's some of what I imagine their future to be like :D I've been getting new Persona followers recently so here's something for you to unfollow me over lmao

So first of all I ignore the canon that Naoto goes back to the city for her detective work after her first year of high school, shhh she stays in Inaba, only taking the occasional jobs. She and Kanji start dating during the spring break before their second year and get more comfortable with each other, so that the next summer they're still cute and very much themselves (which means somewhat reserved) but not as awkward anymore :) I haven't thought about what happens after they graduate but they get married in their early 20s and have a son <3 (Chie and Yukiko adopted their daughter only slightly earlier. They may or may not have had a bit of a competition going on) ((yes Souyo are very much together but if they end up having children I haven't thought about it it's later))

Kanji manages the textile shop and Naoto helps when she's free from detective stuff. They live in Inaba but Naoto is away quite often for her gigs;; She takes up a few jobs less when Kouta is little though so he wouldn't feel less close to his Mom than his Dad.

Both Kanji and Naoto suffered from unfair expectations growing up, so they try their best to make up for it with Kouta's upbringing. They want him to feel comfortable being himself and free to express himself the way he wants; they make sure he knows he'll always be loved and supported, and to never be ashamed of who he is. As a child it doesn't even occur to him that many social norms and social expectations exist, because Naoto and Kanji pretty much let him do whatever as long as he isn't hurting himself or anyone else. They might go a little overboard though, giving into Kouta's whims without much consideration at all. The Amagi Aunties enforce rules and keep kids grounded in reality much better lmao

40. If you could change one thing about your otp, what would that be?

HMNGHNMHGNMGH I WAMT YOSUKE'S INTERNALIZED BULLSHIT ACKNOWLEDGED!! It's there AtlUS!! Stop pretending oh my god.... I love the Dancing All Night story mode (so far. I am by no means done); Yosuke gets cool moments and Yu's internal monologue really shows how much he appreciates him. The dynamic is so much better than with a silent protagonist, and thank god they didn't go with the tactless anime Yu (as fun as he is). I know there are a bunch of nods to the cut romance across spinoffs but mannnn... I wish they were more serious about it. At this point it's not even that far-fetched to think Yosuke has feelings for Yu that he may or may not be aware of, and I know that Yu as the player character can't be too tied down to one option in canon, but still... Even the clown gets tired of jokes at some point. One can dream.

40 ship questions

#asks #anon #about me #this took like three hours and i didn't even take breaks shjddhjjdfh #i'm not complaining i love answering questions but like #i thought i'd still have time to do something else after #it's almost 3 am now;; it wasn't even midnight when i started;;;#i have another ask in my inbox but i'll have to leave it for tomorrow now orz #also sorry for dropping a bunch of ship names on you without specifying characters or fandoms #i have no excuse i just didn't want to do it #oh and if you're heavily in the 'naoto is trans only go die' crowd... this is the wrong blog for you #i respect other headcanons and preferred readings but it has to go both ways #and i prefer her as a woman if it wasn't clear from this #for personal reasons #that i'm not required to specify #if you make a post referring to naoto as them that's awesome and that's who they are in it #and if you think he's a trans guy but accept not everyone sees him that way that's awesome keep that up #but if me calling naoto her makes your blood boil for whatever reason then unfollow and block if you need to #that's great that's what taking responsibility over your experience is #i'm not guilt-tripping anyone into staying my headcanons are no better than yours

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alexiaugustin · 4 years

Text

Okay I'm gonna make this one post about my post yesterday and people's reaction to it and after that I'm not gonna mention it again because I don't wanna be involved in all that fandom drama

First of all I would like to clarify something about my post to prevent further misunderstandings. When I said "so go ahead straight people n fill my asks with hate [...]" I was in no way trying to say that only straight people watch this show or that just because, I as a queer person, gave my opinion on this matter every other queer person should/is having the same opinion as me. I read some posts and realized that this sentence was phrased really badly and I also wasn't aware that both of these statements from above are a huge problem in this tag since I only ever was in the wtfock tag when s3 was airing. So this misunderstanding is something I'm apologizing for and I hope that it didn't cause anyone any pain. That being said I would like to explain what I actually meant by it.

I'm aware that this show is watched by both queer and straight people and that's amazing and good. But one of my issues with this show (and in general all skam remakes) is that suddenly there are also a lot of straight people telling queer people how to feel about the representation, writing decisions etc... Of course everyone is allowed to give their opinions on tv shows and neither straight people should police queer people around nor (and that's important because so many people misunderstood me there) should queer people police other queer people around how to feel about this show. Nobody should send hate asks to anyone ever. But I do think that there's a difference between queer people discussion something they might or already have experience(d) in their daily life than people who might try to understand but will never ever fully get to understand because they just aren't experiencing it themselves. So if I say something that offends a queer person and this person replies to it maybe even a bit harshly because after all I offended them, that's something I can understand and I'm willing to listen to this person even tho they might not be 100% friendly. But straight people who have never experienced and will never experience the things I'm criticizing have no right to be angry and rude because let's make this clear; they just aren't in the place to be offended by a queer person talking about queer rep. They just aren't. And yes, in the skam fandoms are a lot of straight people freaking out as soon as someone criticizes their fav remake and it really rubs me the wrong way. I'm always up for discussion with everyone and my post a) stated that this was just my opinion and b) I even said in the tags that I respect other people's opinion on this.

And if u just saw a reblog and didn't read the tags then sorry but that really ain't my problem maybe make sure to read the whole post ur gonna ramble about on your own blog or in other people's asks next time because it would definitely prevent some misunderstandings. I would also really love to mention that I think that it's absolutely unnecessary to send hate asks to other blogs that had nothing to do with my post and now had to deal with the "drama" I started?? But maybe it's just me who thinks so. Honestly if y'all wanted to know what I meant with certain things I said you could have just asked me instead of sending those questions to others but okayyy

And for the people saying "If you can't handle criticism why did you tag it?" first of all I can handle constructive criticism really well and would have replied to it but people starting drama and being really disrespectful is something else and I didn't want to explain myself over and over again that's why I'm writing this one post now.

Anyway I don't even know what kind of tumblr rules y'all read and if I just missed them but where did anyone ever say that you're only allowed to posts memes and jokes in tumblr tags. And if you have something to criticize you just can't tag it so... nobody ever sees it?? I'm sorry but where is the logic. Personally I love to read criticism on tv shows, books, movies and such. Because constructive criticism is so so important to broaden your horizon and see things from different perspectives, that's something so important yet people aren't willing to make an effort and don't even try to understand why other people think the way they do. That's exactly why ignorance and misunderstandings exist. Because nobody seems to be able to listen to people apart from the people who 100% agree with them. Everyone is just living in a bubble where one's self confidence gets booted because people are constantly validating your opinion and nobody ever dares to get out of there to see and understand other people's views because everyone just wants to have an opinion that is the "right" and "valid" one.

The ability to love a tv show and still being able to say "but I don't agree with character xy when he said this and that" or "my fave is problematic and I'm aware but this show means the world to me and I can love it and still understand why people might dislike certain aspects of it" is just hands down one of the best abilities to have on here. And y'all should learn to develop them because people who can't take criticism are seriously annoying.

I also didn't like that everyone just jumped to conclusions about me and my life. I'm sorry but do you know where I'm from and if homophobia is really common in my country?? No you don't. Do you know what has happened to me and what I've been through in life?? You don't either. You don't even know what aspects of the show I was criticizing because I didn't say it anywhere, yet y'all started writing essays about some scenes and why they weren't badly written the second I posted this. That is just proof of the fact that you can't stand people criticizing a show that you love. Because y'all didn't even care enough to ask me what my issues are with that show, you just freaked out because I was criticizing smth you love.

Anyway I'm sorry that this is so long thanks to everyone who read till the end, I really appreciate it. And I'm aware that I said "y'all" a lot because that's just how I always talk and ofc I know that there were also a lot of people who asked questions before freaking out and respected my opinion no matter if I they shared mine or not. Thank you so much for that<33

#wtfock #skam #skam remakes #skam remake

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wr0ngalice · 4 years

Text

9:21p 4.17.20

wow i just wrote the most elaborate and elegant and honest thing i think i have conveyed in well years, and it’s gone because tumblr’s interface is absolute crap. i only hope i can remember it all again. i can’t write anything other than in a fucking tumblr text sheet. i really can’t and i haven’t been able to in years and I CANNOT CONVEY HOW ANGRY I AM THAT THIS JUST HAPPENED.

it’s 2020 and the world is on fire.

i don’t know where to begin, to pick up from sebastian, to talk about my still non-existent sex life, to talk about that it��s 2020, that there is a world wide pandemic and that i am unemployed and about to be homeless and i have no plan.

as the rain began i stood listening to my neighbors babble. high as a kite i started to not be able to take full breathes having just ingested an entire takeout container of lasagna and mozzerella sticks feeling completely glutinous and disgusting. a panic rushed over me but so did the urge to write and be honest with myself through my weird relays of my stories. i put out my cigarette on the worn out gate and rushed into my house, i could feel the anxiety attack taking over and my breath getting shorter so i specified each step of my way in....grab key....wash hands.....pee.......put my bluetooth back on so i could start music....because this was the kind of high the kind of panic only soothed by masturbating. and so i did, and here i am.

my name is deanna and i have boys on my brain (i’m laughing). i guess i should start off with the most honest sentiment i’ll ever conjure about my existence: my body image issues have held me back from every feeling like i am worth anything or worthy of anyone’s attention. i view my body as a currency, one that is cheap, of low quality and worthless to most. i have never been able to learn how to love my body or myself, i do not take care of it or feel capable of taking care of it. i spent some time feeling like it’s okay to feel like this and look like this and that someday someone will love it. but most of the time i feel worthless and like i am disgusting and that being fat is stopping me from ever truly feeling happy, being love, feeling accepted, or being truly who i feel like i am. it feels completely impossible and unachievable. and i’ve demonized anyone who ever made me feel like i’m supposed to care, or that i should feel bad for not caring enough what other people think of me. and then the cycle of shame starts, for looking this way shame for feeling this way, shame for feeling like fat people are worth less than anyone else, shame that i am one of them and stay this way. shame.

i’m sad about a boy. i met him on discord playing a killer queen black. you ever know you are enamored by tone of someone’s voice when they hear yours? feeling a chemistry that awakens your smile too quickly to feel comfortable with. it was those simple things. a shitty emoji. sending me pictures of animals, bad memes and youtube videos. sending me drawings of pokemon, seemingly genuinely interest in every silly thing i send you back. listening to the songs i suggest and the playlists i send all the way through. asking me what i am doing. good morning texts at 1pm and sweet dreams every night. being excited i am in the vc and spitting quick call backs to only conversations we’d know while everyone is listening. being there all day and making me feel like you wanted me there too, like i wasn’t just someone else to talk to. staying up all night drinking wine and watching hunter x hunter to the sunrise or until one of our sedatives takes us out. i send you my real name, and my twitter, and built up the nerve to sent my instagram and thinking there’s no way he keeps talking to me if he doesn’t like what he sees so it is safe to send him the link to my live stream that contains my facebook with my complete honestly. and then for it all to get awkward. and so i know that he feels a different way not but he’s not saying it. because it feels different now, because he’s there still always answering or messaging first, but it’s shorter now and less personal. the call backs are less because the messages are less, and the offer to stay up with me is still there but feels less genuine and more like you kinda feel like you have to. maybe it’s all in my head. maybe it’s not because when something feels weird it usually is weird. so why keep up the half ass? today you didn’t really and i am so sad, but so grateful. get this over quick if it’s happening. cause i can’t deal with being that lone right now. i watched a video about the important of discerning chemistry from compatibility and at the start felt ready to write it off because yin and yang, opposites can complete each other. but by the end i realize that made our chemistry is so bright i am being blinded into thinking we can fill each other’s gaps in compatibility but how hard we make each other laugh. i can discern all the examples of what i call chemistry, but there’s all the actions the show the chemistry is not electric enough to fill the holes in our compatibility. i want every reason to believe this is wrong and i want you to give it to me. i want you to think i am beautiful because of the person you’ve gotten to know every night for months.

i masturbated to the memories of my dream of kissing levy last night. i tasted his lips as if i had tasted his love before, the familiar warmth of his “hey yourself” feeling like enough of the familiarity and comfort i need to get myself off. the overwhelming loneliness prompting me to call him after all this time. i haven’t really thought about him in a longing way, just a passing thought on the bye, and i admire my ability to stop answering when i knew it was doing too much to me. i’m neither sad or surprised that he didn’t answer me. i think the real question is whether i will feel the need to know his love at the end of our next conversation. i guess it was probably the transition of moving to new york, and the way he seemed to be invested in me figuring out my shit sometimes. it feels so rare that people care about the person i am that when it happens i immediately only know how respond by sexualizing the love i want to give back. he seemed like he wanted to know me and understand why i do the things i did, he listened to the ways i believe the world work and he changed his opinions because of the way i expressed my thoughts. that felt so powerful to me. it felt like he wanted me there, and i liked that he liked the way i spoke about existing and he wanted to be a part of it. like he knew i was connecting my soul to his soul, and like he had been honest about really not being able to give that to another person, like he wanted me to be there but he knew he was hurting me by letting me stay because he wasn’t capable of giving himself away. it feels like this really sad thing that when typed out sounds so dramatic. and i want nothing in the world than for him to know that i think this way, and i want him to tell me that i am crazy and read so much into nothing, or to tell me that i am right, that i understand his soul and that we are connected the way that i felt we were.

i need this. i cannot understand why writing in a tumblr textbox is the only way to talk about deanna. i spent so long writing to her here, and now that i am with her again, now that i really feel like i am her, i can say here now that it wasn’t about becoming her or working towards finding my way back to her, it was about accepting that i wasn’t all the things i thought i was and that i wasn’t going to be able to achieve all these things that would supposedly make me better. i am deanna all the time and “future deanna” is here with me today. i’m not working towards anything that i am not actively doing right now.

i wanted to stop here, the rest of this might not be so in touch. maybe it will. i’ve been under quarantine in brooklyn since march 10, 2020. this reminds me i need to talk about killer queen eventually, huh? coronavirus is changing the entire globe. this is that shit that has a major red subtitle in the future history books. i can’t go to the grocery store without wearing a face mask. this isn’t some weird movie that i don’t like, this is real life. i lost my job. i have to move out of my apartment at the end of next month and i have no idea where i am going to go. people are dying at insane rates. nothing in the world feels certain. donald trump is killing people. he’s our fucking president and after all this time i still haven’t accepted that that really happened. the things that are important in my world are so much different now. and their competing forces are compounded by nihilism and salty existentialism. and this makes it hard for me to think about the future.

i’m gonna figure out a way to keep writing. this feels important.

#personal

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powerfultulips · 4 years

Note

weird asks?

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars!

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

probably something along the lines of “weird, but brilliant. also really small and tiny”

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

plastic cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

ideally, grunge

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones all the way babey

8. movies or tv shows?

not really a big fan of either

9. favorite smell in the summer?

um, like campfires and stuff

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

didn’t really have p.e. in school, but i always liked kickball and dodgeball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a spoonful of peanut butter, along with my meds

12. name of your favorite playlist?

either “h” or “oliver!”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring i guess

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

smarties?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

hamlet, probably. if you’re looking for a novel, a prayer for owen meany.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

the comfy one

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have these shitty dad shoes (air monarchs) that i wear a lot. mostly because i keep them tied, and i often don’t feel like tying another pair of shoes when i go out. so they’re basically slip-ons

18. ideal weather?

70 degrees, mostly cloudy, maybe a light rain, or a soft breeze

19. sleeping position?

i usually sleep on my right side, but sometimes i roll over to my left

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

depends what i’m writing, but i like notebooks and my laptop

21. obsession from childhood?

quite a few. gas stations, legos, baseball, phineas and ferb

22. role model?

not sure i have one, i look up to all of my friends in different ways

23. strange habits?

i chew on my knuckles a lot, it’s a nervous stim i’ve had since i was young. dunno if i have any others

24. favorite crystal?

um.... the pretty ones

25. first song you remember hearing?

i have no fuckin idea my guy. maybe 99 luftballons

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

exist in an air-conditioned room

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

put a hoodie on and go for a walk

28. five songs to describe you?

“your heart is a muscle the size of your fist” by ramshackle glory; “after you” by good morning; “dip you in honey” by the wombats; “i’m against the government” by defiance, ohio; “new loved ones” by toro y moi

29. best way to bond with you?

probably helping me out when i’m in a bad situation

30. places that you find sacred?

dunno that there are any, really

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

karkat t-shirt, black jeans (that unfortunately don’t fit me anymore), probably some cute socks

32. top five favorite vines?

hang on i have a list. mychael with a B, this bitch empty YEET, the AA-AAA-AAAA battery one, bbq sauce on my titties, and “is that allowed?”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

i. what does that mean

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none, fuck capitalism

35. average time you fall asleep?

probably like 2am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

i. have no idea

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suited case

38. lemonade or tea?

tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

pieeee

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

one time a teacher set a dollar bill on fire, i think. i wasn’t there. also a bat got into the bathroom once or twice

41. last person you texted?

my sweet, precious baby boy @literally-an-envelope

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

p a n t

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!!!!

44. favorite scent for soap?

vaniwwa

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi perhaps?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

i usually sleep in a tshirt and pj pants

47. favorite type of cheese?

pepperjack probably. i had a dream about gouda last night, though

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a blackberry. idk

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“All people are good for something. The important thing is finding what.” (Tom, MLB Power Pros 2008)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

fuck if i know dude

51. current stresses?

is “everything” an answer

52. favorite font?

helvetica

53. what is the current state of your hands?

slightly sweaty

54. what did you learn from your first job?

sprite with grenadine.... tasty

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk bro

56. favorite tradition?

my family usually goes to chuck e cheese on new years eve. its fun

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

bold of you to assume i’ve overcome anything

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, singing, pitching (baseball), and punting (football)

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

y’know, like nya?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

slice-of-life, or a sports anime

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

shrugs

62. seven characters you relate to?

are these all gonna be homestuck characters? probably. karkat, tavros, kanaya, dave, john/june, jade, and kankri. ok those are just my favourites but fuck you

63. five songs that would play in your club?

i’d probably have a really chill “club” that just played like, indie music from bands i like

64. favorite website from your childhood?

poptropica

65. any permanent scars?

yeah i have a few, although they’re fading and healing, idk if they will be on my skin forever.

66. favorite flower(s)?

i like tulips

67. good luck charms?

stuffed animals

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

black liquorice

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

fun fact! why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food

70. left or right handed?

right, but i swing left

71. least favorite pattern?

idk

72. worst subject?

like in school? physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

shrugs aggressively

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i have no clue

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

probably fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

shrug

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

neither?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

school id, i think

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

ain’t those the same thing

82. pc or console?

i guess i prefer console, but most of my games are on my laptop

83. writing or drawing?

writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts, i guess?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

shrugs

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies !

87. your greatest fear?

losing my loved ones

88. your greatest wish?

am i allowed to say “to be dead”

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my fiancé, for sure

90. luckiest mistake?

i.... don’t know

91. boxes or bags?

🅱️oxen

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

sunlight!!

93. nicknames?

yeah

94. favorite season?

spring

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr, or discord

96. desktop background?

something from homestuck. it’s terezi

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

four (mine, dad, mom, fiancé)

98. favorite historical era?

i don’t know that i have one

#asks #thanks bby

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dollyllama108 · 4 years

Text

Tag meme!

Rules: Always post the rules. Tag 11 new people you’d like to know better

Holy crap! @robbiebirdie tagged me in one of these things, and I think she’s the first! Thanks for popping my tag meme cherry, @robbiebirdie!

1. Dogs or Cats? Cats? I guess? But I identify more strongly with herbivores. 2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities? Epstein didn’t kill himself. 3. If you could live anywhere where would that be? Of the places that exist, Chelsea, maybe, or the UWS, or the East Village; before they’re underwater. 4. Disney or DreamWorks? Disney: don’t they own like, everything now? 5. Favorite childhood TV show? Invader Zim---yes, I did feel called out by the *holds up spork* meme. 6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020? I'm not looking forward to anything in 2020. 7. Favorite book you read in 2019? Consider the Lobster and Other Essays. 8. Marvel or DC? See, the thing is, those guys love wrecking my hometown for some reason. I can’t read/watch any of that without thinking about the lost lives and property damage. 9. If you choose Marvel favorite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favorite Justice League member? Nah. Into the Spider-Verse is the only superhero media I’ve enjoyed, except for that one scene in Spiderman 3 where Peter Parker looks in the window and paws at his bangs to make them emo. 10. Night or Day? I’m writing this at 4 a.m. You tell me. 11. Favorite Pokémon? MAGIKARP 12. Top 5 bands: Reinterpreting ‘bands’ to mean ‘musical artists’: Angel Haze, They Might be Giants, Stephen Sondheim, Lin Manuel Miranda, Marian Hill. 13. Top 5 books (currently): Infinite Jest; Cat’s Cradle; Why Does He Do That?; Nonlinear Dynamics and Chaos: With Applications to Physics, Biology, Chemistry, and Engineering; Garner’s Modern American Usage (if you’ve read Consider the Lobster and Other Essays, it’s actually hilarious that this book is on the list). 14. Top 5 movies: Synecdoche, New York; The Lobster; Requiem for a Dream; Pitch Perfect; The Hunchback of Notre Dame. 15. Tumblr or Twitter? Honestly, neither. I prefer not to spend time on social media. The blogging alone has gotten way out of hand. 16. Favorite YouTuber: Call Me Kevin even though he refuses to take any of my suggestions for Sim torture. It could go so much deeper 17. Favorite author? This is going to come as a huge shock: David Foster Wallace. 18. Tea or coffee? I’m past the level of caffeine addiction where the method of delivery matters. 19. OTP? Xiyuan/Bernard, holla 20. Do you play an instrument/sing? Yes. Reed instruments, soprano.

Tagging newer people and friendly mutuals (I’m new, so y’all are new to me): @twinsimskeletons, @twistedsimblr, @blurri-sim-kid, @sammsims, @simsandconstellations, @dynastiasims, @bingleysims, @cofisims, @lateadventure. Now that I see the requirement is 11, @simscognito and @glammoose. If you’re missing it’s because I suck and am evil.

#tag game #guys i'm actually really friendly

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tiffany-of-wales · 4 years

Text

Tag meme

tagged by: @latristereina

I learnt a lot about my dear friend and I hope you learn something new too about me😀

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed? -- I'm not really into mythical creatures but I quite enjoy mountain trolls particularly in "Herr Mannelig" legend

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls? -- I have no idea how soundcloud works as it is not popular in Russia but I use vinyls neither🤷🏻‍♀️

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read? -- Hmm, good question. I guess, "To kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee as it is deep and sensual. Anyway, I highly recommend you all "Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk District" by Nikolai Leskov

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets? -- My mother often shares clothes with me but I enjoy my own shirts and jackets too

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month? -- I passed my math exam) Actually, I enjoy every day of my life.

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? -- That I will try to be more pious and good in my thoughts.

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests? -- The forests

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again? -- As I am ill now, no🍵😥

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits? -- Of course!

apricot drift; how do you feel right now?--Tired, ill but ready to recover

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having? -- It is very awkward but... Me being a wife to Ewan McGregor🤣

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now? -- Hmm... Going to Rome?

lavender dream; turn ons/offs? -- shy smiles/lack of manners

water lilly; when was the last time you cried? -- A week ago, I guess

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize?

-- I do not remeber it, to be honest, but I forgave this person anyway😊

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream? -- Both

honey perfume; favorite movie ever? -- "The Two Popes" or "Angels&Demons". I cannot choose. But if I really have yo, "The Two Popes"

desert rose; do you like yourself? -- I do

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity? -- A few times

night owl; how many countries have you visited? -- Twenty... It is a long list, to be honest🌍

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle?

-- Many times. I love Middle Ages culture, so I never miss a chance to visit a castle

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done? -- Ohh, I do crazy things a lot🤣 Perhaps, when I told my literature teacher that I ship two men of an infamous Russian classical book

lantana; what’s on your mind right now? -- "War and Peace" by Lev Tolstoy

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?

-- Gemini... But does it matter?

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself.

1. My favourite actor is Jeremy Irons

2. I have a cat

3. My favourite female historical characters are Lucrezia Borgia and Margaret Beaufort

4. I live in Moscow

5. Tiffany isn't my true name

daphne; do you believe in karma?

Only in God's will. So yes and no

queen of the meadow; ever been in love?

In a romantic way - no

wisteria; whom do you admire and why?

My parents as they are independent, full of joy, hopes and they really love me

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?

Cinderella

remember me; did you make someone laugh today?

My parents

iris; do you believe in ghosts?

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit?

Late XV century, I guess

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not? -- In my religion our souls never die. But if you mean on Earth, no

primula; what makes you sad?

Suffering of innocent creatures

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not?

No, as I have my holidays

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most?

My family

Lady’s slipper; what did you have for breakfast today?

Pancakes🍛

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life?

No regrets

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?

ASOIAF, I guess

violet; favorite tv show?

The Borgias, probably

sunflower; share a favorite quote.

God answers all the prayers, but sometimes his answer is 'no'

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like?

Like my typical day

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies?

Lots of, but my favourite is writing

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you.

Can't think of any right now

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared?

I don't know

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger?

I have never been in a relationship🤣

sweet pea; who means the world to you?

My family and my friends

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read?

Ricard III, The Help, In the name of the Family, Margaret Beaufort: The Mother of a Dynasty

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character?

Cartoon? Anne Shirley, probably but I know there is also a book

magnolia; coffee or tea?

Tea

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved?

Loved, of course

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person?

A cat person

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction?

Tumblr😂

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy?

No, I am not interested in it

moonflower; what’s your favorite color?

The colour of cardinal hat😂

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not?

Yes, because... We love and respect each other

sundrop; are you a morning or a night person?

A morning person

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness?

No, thank God

clover; how would your friends describe you?

Pious, childish (someone call me 'sweetly innocent'💕) and a bit of crazy😂

dandelion; do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert?

Extrovert

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?

Say yes to a Dress😂

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words.

Religious, optimistic and traveller

lotus; best memory as a child?

Going to French Disneyland🌟

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color?

Dark chocolate🍪

dahlia; do you like crystals?

No, not really

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

I would end poverty

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house?

I don't like Harry Potter, so none

calendula; biggest pet peeve?

Lack of manners

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet?

Cocktail party, aye😊

blazing star; share a secret.

No, thank you

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier?

I'd rather live righteous which means happier to me, but I cannot know how long I will live. I won't suggest

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why?

Margaret Beaufort because she was clever, kind and full of hopes no matter what

bluebell; do you wear glasses?

Yes

nymphea; forest or river?

River

orchid; do you like exercise?

No, but I do it anyway🥦

pansy; do you like poetry?

Write or read? Anyway, yes

morning glory; any special talent that you have?

Writing, I guess

I tag: @madonna-la-cardinalessa @the-musical-thot @stellio-vulgaris

if they want, of course.

#tag game #fun #about me #personal

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