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buckets-and-trees · 4 months

Note

Imagine Bucky coming home to see you wearing nothing but a red ribbon tied in a bow around your waist and can’t help but stare at you while licking his lips. You stand there and say “are you just gonna stand there or are you going to unwrap your present?”

Well...

Would you complain if I added one more thing to this little ask, too?

And this was undoubtedly meant for Christmas, but... my Christmas tree is still up, so maybe other people still have their decorations out, as well...

Fandom: MCU Collection: The Brooklyn Boys Title: Big Red Bow Characters/Pairings: Bucky x female reader x Steve Word Count: 593

Content Warnings: Steve stays post-endgame, established threesome, periphery/secular reference to the Christmas holiday, nudity, kissing, light fingering

Logistical Notes: Probably fine to read if you haven't read any of the series, because this is legit just spicy fluffy stuf, literally no plot. We just haven't seen these boys in a LONG long time, and I thought this might be nice for them. Dividers from @firefly-graphics and @saradika-graphics.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

You take a deep breath as you hear your boys come in the front door. Steve walks past the doorframe, heading down the hallway, his arms laden with bags from their supply run. Bucky, however, glances into the living room, then turns his head back and stops dead in his tracks. He sets his bag down and quietly straightens back up, stepping into the room, eyes riveted on you.

You had been waiting for them, for this, and yet your stomach still flips and your cheeks heat as you see the hungry look wash over him.

He licks his lips, but continues to stare, unmoving from his place in the doorframe.

Your heartbeat is racing, but you will yourself to remain still, kneeling next to the Christmas tree, in front of the fireplace, hands folded delicately in your lap, in nothing but a large red ribbon, painstakingly tied in a bow. You had tied it around your chest, below your breasts so that the large loops of the bow just covered your nipples.

"Did you hear me?" Steve calls back down the hallway to Bucky. "I asked if you know where the–"

"Steve, come here," Bucky cuts him off.

You hear Steve's steps coming back down the hallway. "What? What is - oh," his voice drops when he turns up behind Bucky and spots you waiting for them. "Oh," this time more of a groan, and his tone sends a shiver down your spine.

But when they don't move, you bite your lip and drop your eyes. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to unwrap your present?"

"It's past Christmas and New Years, honey," Bucky teases.

You huff. The last two weeks had been so busy, and you'd just thought when you saw the discarded bow from your nephew's bike that it might be fun to play with, but today had presented the first possible moment you finally had time for something like this. "Sorry, it's a little corny."

"Ow." Steve thumps Bucky from behind, and you start to move, but Bucky says, "Stop!" and you do, surprised by his abrupt command. "'I like corny. I'm looking for corny in my life.'"

Immediately comfortable again, you grin and giggle at the very apt quote from The Holiday, which you'd watched twice with them - once after Thanksgiving, and again a few days before Christmas.

They both swiftly approach you now. Steve gets to you first and kneels in front of you, leaning in to capture your lips in an kiss. Kneeling next to you, Bucky trails his fingers over your shoulder and down your arm. He presses his lips along your shoulder and back up to your neck, nudging his way in until Steve moves away, and Bucky steals the chance to claim your lips.

Bucky is quick to lay back on the floor, pulling you to lay on his his chest. You can hear Steve quickly undressing.

"Who says we need to unwrap you in order to play anyway?" Steve asks. Then he's settling in behind you, kneeling in the space between your and Bucky's legs, spreading them wider to accommodate him. He draws his hand down along your spine, over your lower back, and he lets a finger tease down between your cheeks.

You gasp, and Bucky chuckles. "Always so responsive for us, and so pretty like this."

"Mhmm," Steve agrees.

"But I can think of quite a few ways we can use this bow tonight," Bucky adds, grinning over your shoulder up at Steve.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #stucky x reader #stucky x you #aspen wrote something #aspen asks #the brooklyn boys

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adoremexxs · 9 months

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Hello!

You can have a story or a headcanon (From your AU, she is great)

Urogi × Extremely calm reader.

Don't know how to explain, they're like, like the sun and the moon. Underwater and cheerful Urogi and a calm, perhaps slow and sleepy reader.

thank you in advance! your blog is one of my favorites <3

AW, this means so much to me! So sweet!

also i’m sorry guys for not posting multiple times a day, my brain is fried and i’m extremely busy ☠️

Urogi with a calm S/O

warnings: none

met him through Aizetsu

you and aizetsu are besties bc u both are extremely calm people and reserved

so whenever you came over to his house, you didn’t expect to see 4 loud and chaotic brothers

zohakuten was relatively quiet until sekido or urogi and karaku pissed him off

the first one to greet to you was urogi

immediately checking you out and trying to figure out who u were

asked if u were aizetsu’s lover

aizetsu said no so fast, he didn’t want to get harassed

urogi was happy on the other hand

“yay! that means they can be mine!”

sekido hit Urogi so hard for saying that

karaku tried to get into your pants a few times but you were like “no! bye!”

you started to befriend urogi and talk to him more, even starting to hang out

even though he is hyper 99.99999% of the time, you enjoy it

he can drive so he takes you everywhere, listening to “Eyes without a face” by Billy Idol

it’s very spiritual tbh

takes you to the beach

will take your instagram photos for you

he’s been trained

shows you his crystals that him and aizetsu collect

whenever you express that you collect crystals too, Urogi goes crazy and needs to absolutely see them which results in bringing him over

your room radiates your energy, sleepy and calm and Urogi realizes how much you are like Aizetsu!

which makes him even more clingy towards you

his energy can sometimes overwhelm you and when you snap at him, he gets so sad and leaves you alone

you feel bad but he’s happy within like 5 seconds

the day that he asks you out is on the beach, the sun is rising and you are watching it

he looks so nervous, you can clearly tell something is up

when you ask him what’s up with him

he pours all of his feelings out to you, expressing how he has liked you since the first day he met you and how he can’t get enough of you

obviously you accept it bc you aren’t dumb, like why would you reject HIM?! He’s so fine and cute and sweet

you are somehow able to deal with his energy most of the time, sometimes you can get overwhelmed but it’s not terrible

he gets REALLY clingy to you, he has to be touching you 24/7 or he has a freak out

whenever you saw the scar on his waist, you were extremely concerned because Urogi casually just said

“oh it’s from when my dad hit me with a beer bottle.”

he completely brushed it off?! like what?!

Urogi doesn’t mind talking about his childhood, he’s indifferent about it

it’s his way of coping with it, he acts like it wasn’t that serious, it’s just how he grew up

he ended up telling you about how he used to get bullied a bunch

and how he struggles with his self image sometimes, he gets really anxious sometimes and doesn’t eat for days but then he’ll end up eating a bunch later on

now it’s your job to get him back on track!

your calm energy relaxes him a bit

if he’s at your house, he is completely calm and sleeps on you

he’s heavy but you aren’t going to push him off

Urogi posts you a lot

he makes you known to everyone

you are referred to as “Urogi’s S/O”

random people will say hi to you in the hallways

urogi LOVES kissing you

everytime he sees you, he has to kiss you

he’s very passionate about it, he usually ends up out of breath

you almost die half the time, he cuts off half your air supply

Urogi is legit obsessed with you

he wants you to be equally as obsessed with him so he looks up love spells online

it works though

i mean he really didn’t need the love spell but man, you got equally obsessed as him

you are so calm that it terrifies him sometimes

if he did something bad, he’s scared that you’re mad

you’re not

Urogi doesn’t handle calm energy too well whenever he thinks they are angry

Urogi is a D2 overthinker when it comes to his S/O

Sekido is a D1 overthinker y’all

Urogi doesn’t think 90% of the time but the 10% goes to you

stresses over gifts and holidays and dates

it’s okay because you already take care of everything and take care of it for Urogi

everyone says you guys are the golden retriever and black cat duo

so that’s what you dressed up for halloween as

even though Urogi wanted to be a bird

tries to compare you to a bird

compliments 24/7

extremely loyal

he is in love with you and you take a lot of his firsts

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dinogoofy · 7 months

Text

This is my 2023 MK Halloween masterlist! All current prompts will be listed, including ones that haven't been polled yet! Two more prompts will eventually be added. (I just got to figure them out first!)

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Gargoyle - Syzoth

There's a friendly Gargoyle on top of your apartment building. He's pretty handsome for a statue, and you've taken a liking to him. You sit against him sometimes while reading or doing some work. You're enjoying the ambiance of the rooftop during the full-moon in October, and lean over and kiss him on the shoulder. It's silly, you know, but you wanted to thank him for being such a good friend. All of a sudden, he starts to move. You're completely embarrassed, but he thinks it's funny. Turns out, he thinks you're pretty cute too!

----

Zombie - Havik

It's the zombie apocalypse, and you've spent months hiding in your college town. You've gotten very good at running from both people and zombies. The virus was strange, and developed in two strains. One was rumored to leave your mind intact, but increase your bloodlust and the need to feed on raw meat. The other would take everything. It would ravage your mind and cause you to become a mindless soldier, hellbent on spreading the virus.

One day, you run into a man in a black hospital mask. He's gruff, and unfriendly, but you can't just stand by and let him wander alone. There's safety in numbers after all. Eventually, you find out why he was run off from his previous group, why he goes out at night when he thinks you are asleep, and what lies underneath his mask.

----

You moved into an old house last year, and strange things have been happening every time you bring a new date home. Doors opening, dishes rattling. Thing is- they only seem to happen around your dates. After the last guy breaks three of his fingers due to a cabinet slamming shut in him, you contact a friend that sends over her cooky spiritual aunt. She does some weird shit with some animal bones, and your house gets struck by lightning. Somehow, this must have charged the energies in the house, because now you can actually see the poltergeist. Turns out, he's in love with you, and has been jealous of all the living men who You've brought home.

Haunted House - Bi-han

----

Scarecrow - Reiko

You're visiting your aunts farm to help out with the busy fall season. You're closing up the farm stand at the pumpkin patch when her farm dog runs off. You follow after her and into the corn maze. It's dark by the time you find her, attached to the leg of a moving scarecrow with a really bad attitude.

----

Black cat - Johnny Cage

There's been a stray black cat roaming around your neighborhood, and with October quickly approaching, you decide it's no longer safe to just let him roam. After coaxing it inside your home, you start to take care of the little guy. It's been about a month, and this cat has stuck to you like glue. He's loving and sweet and sleeps next to your head at night, and you really do plan on keeping him forever. After quite a few disastrous dates, you wander into ye ol' witch's shop desperate for advice. When you come home, there's a man in your house. Turns out, he's your cat. This man was cursed after flirting around with the wrong witches, and you somehow set him free.

----

Magic - Rain

Some asshole got a little too drunk at the Halloween celebration at the bar and decided to start "shipping" random folks. Problem is, they were casting legit spells. Some were love spells, others were lust spells, and you were one unlucky bitch. There's this one dick that hangs around your friend group, and you absolutely hate him, so of course you ended up magically cuffed to him by the wrist. It's a forced proximity spell, and there's only two ways to break it. To open your hearts to one another, or… to sleep with eachother.

----

Clown - Kung Lao

You're one of the costume and set designers for the local haunt, but unfortunately for you, it's themed after the movie "killer clowns from outer space" this year. You hate clowns, but you adore set design. The set and costumes turn out a little too good, and you accidentally end up punching a scare actor when he comes to ask you a question. You basically almost break his nose, and getting blood out of those masks is such a pain! You frantically tug it off of him, only to find out that he's unfortunately really attractive. Theres no way you have a shot with him now! Damn those masks!

----

Vampire- Kenshi

You're having fun with some friends at a halloween party in the woods, but you can only deal with so much madness before you need a break. You walk off to a quiet part of the woods to take a breather, and find out You're not the only one. You meet a really nice vampire, who happens to be really attractive. The two of you have a pleasant conversation about the party before deciding to walk back together.

Unfortunately for the two of you, there's a big ass hole in the ground that neither of you can see in the dark. Well, that you couldn't see. He would have seen it if he wasn't looking at you the entire time.

The music is too loud for anyone to hear you, and your phones have no signal down there. How the hell are you going to get out?

----

Demon - Tomas Vrbada

You really want to go all out while decorating the house for Halloween this year, but you just moved into this town, and don't really know anyone who could help you out. So obviously, your first choice of action is to summon a Demon to help you out. Turns out, he's actually really nice. The two of you strike a bargain that he would help you decorate, and you would repay him with an action of equal weight.

Well, he took a liking to you, and had been popping into your house every once in a while with more and more decorations so that he has an excuse to hang out with you. The week before Halloween, he asks you if his part of the bargain would simply include an invitation to your Halloween party with some plus ones included for his friends.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #mk1 #mk #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat imagines #mk x reader #MK Halloween

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desertdollranch · 3 months

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Welcome to La Grande Pâtisserie

Grace Thomas is excited to announce that today is the grand opening of La Grande Pâtisserie! Everyone in Grace's hometown of Bentwick, Massachusetts, has been eagerly awaiting the debut of this authentic French pastry shop. There's nothing else like it anywhere in town! Bentwick prides itself on being a quaint little village with a high standard of living for its residents, so this is the perfect place for Grace to see her dream come to life.

In her third book, Grace Makes it Great, it's been a few months since Grace returned from her summer trip to Paris. In that time she has been working hard to make her bicycle-delivery-based baking business successful, but she realizes it may need to start growing much faster! Her grandparents' bakery may have to close down forever if it doesn't stop losing money and business to the local grocery store bakery. So, using what she learned while working at the patisserie in Paris, Grace teams up with her grandparents to turn their bakery into a beautiful, unique French pastry shop.

As for my part in all of this...... like Grace, this opening day is a dream come true. For inspiration, I based this on the bakery playset that was sold as part of her collection when she was the Girl of the Year in 2015. Her bakery was notable at the time for being the most expensive doll item ever released by American Girl, at $500.

(Later surpassed in 2020 by Joss Kendrick's surf bus, at $650).

Now, of course, nine years later, it's still very expensive when bought secondhand, even when it's sold without all the small accessories. I certainly couldn't ever justify spending that much on one single doll item. And why should I, when I can build something like this with my own two hands, for a lot cheaper? I've already built Caroline's parlor, three arcade video games, a skee ball lane, Kanani's shave ice stand, Grace's pastry cart and bistro set, bedrooms for Josefina and Kirsten, a greenhouse, Rebecca's phonograph, a few small pet habitats, and lots more for my dolls. I like having creative control that lets me expand on the things that interest me the most. I like making or collecting small accessories to supplement my projects. And I like that my renditions can be built at a more realistic scale. The bakery in Grace's collection is scaled so small that it looked more like a child's playhouse than a legit bakery, and so I was shooting for something scaled larger.

I've had Grace in my doll family for four years now, but it's only recently that I've felt like I have enough small accessories accumulated to make the whole thing look top-notch and full of detail. I also can't get out of my head the idea of making a little breakfast joint for my dolls and me to share breakfast and coffee with them on weekend mornings. I'm thinking maybe that will be accompanied by occasional videos showing Grace making breakfast for me and another doll. So keep an eye out for that!

If you haven't seen it already, you can browse Grace's hashtag to check out all the other things I've made and collected for her.

And here we are...... it's opening day!

So let's take a closer look at La Grande Pâtisserie. Grace is so eager to show off what's inside, and while she does that I'll explain how I made everything (not to take the magic away, but I always hope to inspire other crafty readers who may want to make their own doll stuff). This you see here is only a small part of the pâtisserie! I'll show you the front of the shop, the kitchen, and then the outdoor seating area.

When you walk in, the first thing you'll notice is the pastry case.

On the top row are the fancy cakes and macarons. The middle shelf has croissants, cupcakes, eclairs, and beignets. The bottom shelf has jelly donuts and petit fours (back row), plus a square of frosted gingerbread, cherry cheesecake, chocolate tart, raspberry tart, and madeleines.

These were all made by me, mostly with clay and puffy paint. A lot of them were based on the little pastries that were part of Grace's collection, some I made for other dolls and other occasions, and a few were based on real bakery treats.

The "glass" pastry case is clear plastic that comes from packaging material, including a few 18 inch-sized doll boxes. Whenever I buy something with this sort of strong but flexible clear plastic, I hoard it for future projects.

These three cakes were made from layers of foam board. This is a great material to work with because it's easier to cut than wood, very lightweight, can be shaped with sandpaper, and takes paint very well.

The jelly donut, eclair, and cupcake, all made from clay. The heart sprinkles were not made by me.

The cherry cheesecake. Those are wooden beads on top of the slice. I used a mixture of glue and food coloring to make the cherry sauce.

And the little berry macarons. The berries are made from seat cushion foam that I cut up and soaked in red paint.

The to-go bags (the small one has a croissant poking out) are printables that came from AmericanGirlIdeas.com. I made the croquembouche on the right, originally for Marie-Grace and Cécile. It's pretty big and doesn't fit in the pastry case.

I promise I will show off more contents of the pastry case when the dolls and I start having breakfast together!

Looking past the pastry case, here's the behind-the-counter setup.

The walls here are a large cardboard tri-fold that I spray painted aqua blue. Everything hanging on the walls is held there by Velcro that I superglued onto the tri-fold, so I can take them down and switch them around. You'll see why very soon.

The art on the walls all came from Pinterest, except for the painting of Provence on the upper left. That was made by an AI image generator. The red display shelves are foam board I painted. I made the menu in the middle (if I haven't said so already, I really love making my own printables/labels/packaging etc. It's the thing I look forward to the most when making doll stuff).

The three under-counter refrigerators are product pictures I found through a web search. They're glued onto a panel of foam board, which is glued onto a cardboard box to give it strength to hold the accessories on top. If you look closely, you can see little squares of Velcro in the upper left and right corners. That's there to attach another panel, which you will also see very soon.

The coffee maker was a thrift store find, but it originally came in a set of three toy appliances. This is so fun to play with. It really "brews" coffee; if you fill that little reservoir (covered with a sticker) with liquid and hit the button, it will dispense the liquid into the cup below while making coffee brewing noises. I made the coffee pot using this tutorial. Directly above the coffee maker is a shelf of white mugs, which I bought from Amazon.

On the left is the toaster. It makes real "toasting" noise and pops the toast up when the timer is done. The sticker on it and the coffee maker came from Farm and Feast: Gather Together with Friends and Food, an activity book & kit published by American Girl.

In between the toaster and the coffee maker is the waffle iron. I made that from a makeup compact.

I made the waffle from painted clay. And I only realized now that maybe the waffle should be lined up with the hinge and not at an angle....

Grace is demonstrating here how her machine can brew both pots of coffee AND shots of espresso!

Over here is the blender. The toy appliance set did originally have a a blender in some versions, but I've not found it at any thrift store and so I just made my own. This is made from two clear plastic cups, one for the base and one for the blending part. The lid, which by a beautiful coincidence was the perfect size, came from a fancy container of gelato, and there's a smaller metal lid on top of that. The little blade inside is just a metal wingnut glued to a metal washer. The base is painted pink and it's glued to a mason jar lid ring. I designed the button panel, and the buttons are pony beads painted black.

The little box of chocolates on the red shelf were made by me as well from clay and puffy paint.

Grace can make blended coffee and smoothies in the blender. The milk and orange juice containers are printables I found somewhere on Pinterest and can't remember where. I made the little yogurt from a Keurig coffee pod filled with clay and topped with some white puffy paint. The little plastic containers of blueberries and cherries came from a Make it Mini set. The bowl of fruit contains berries, peaches, and bananas, which I made. I did not make the grapes, but found them at a thrift store attached to a set of plastic napkin rings.

On the top shelf on the wall, Grace has displayed three baguettes and a bag of biscotti, which are twice-baked long cookies that pair nicely with coffee. These are all made by me. I designed the paper bags holding the baguettes, while the biscotti bag was a printable from American Girl Ideas.

I also made Grace's dress, based on the Opening-Night Outfit from her collection. (And if you notice that my Grace looks slightly different from other dolls, it's because I enhanced her freckles a bit).

Above her right shoulder, on the bottom red shelf, you can see the little pineapple cake that I made from a Make it Mini set. The little pineapple rings and cherries came in those tiny plastic containers next to the blender.

Now that you've seen the front of the shop, let's check out the kitchen!

As much as she loves working in all parts of the shop, Grace's favorite place to be is in the kitchen, using her hands, making the magic happen.

It was in the process of creating that Grace found her passion. She considers baking a form of artistic expression. Here she is trying out a new recipe for pain au chocolat, which is like a chocolate-filled croissant. I think this is what she might be serving me the next time I stop in for breakfast.

Some common ingredients she uses are flour, sugar, eggs, butter, vanilla, baking powder, nuts, and jam.

I made pretty much everything here, except the text on the labels, which also came from Farm and Feast. I also didn't make the label for the butter box. The little containers of baking powder and vanilla are my favorites. The vanilla extract bottle came with a Miniverse Make it Mini surprise package. I made the label for it as well. And the baking powder is just a tiny glass jar from Dollar Tree, with a label attached, which I did not design.

Here's a wide shot of the kitchen counter. She's got two ovens, a proofer/holding cabinet, and a few shelves for stainless steel dishes.

The counter here is actually the same one seen in the previous pictures, behind the pastry case. This panel with the ovens and dishes attaches with Velcro to the refrigerator panels. I just printed out the three pictures and glued them to the panel. The left side and middle panels were generated by an AI image maker based on my prompts, since I couldn't find a real picture of exactly what I was envisioning. The right side panel is a product photo of industrial double ovens.

On top of the counter, I've put a few mini kitchen tools: a stock pot, a colander, a box grater, and a stand mixer. Hanging on the wall are mixing spoons, spatulas, and an oven mitt.

All of these dishes and tools were thrift store finds, with the exception of the oven mitt, which came with Farm and Feast.

On the left is a stove top (another printed image) that attaches with Velcro onto the pink marble countertops, and that's her crepe pan in the picture on the left. It's a real cast iron pan that I was gifted this past Christmas, and as I thanked the giver all I could think of was how cute this would look in my doll-sized kitchen.

Grace's adorable cupcake shirt and black apron were not made by me, but are from her original collection.

Let's go look at the outdoor seating area.

This is the other side of the cardboard tri-fold. I spray painted this red and then printed out the windows and door image.

I also made Grace's shirt and skirt. It's based on Grace's Sightseeing Outfit from her collection.

The shop has an outdoor seating area where customers can bring their pastries, breakfast, or coffee and enjoy them in the open air.

This table is a revised version I made a few years ago for Grace, based on the bistro set from her collection. It is seriously such an easy craft, anyone can do it. I used an inexpensive marble-print cardboard cake board from Michael's, glued it onto a cardboard tube taken from a roll of paper towels, and glued that to the base which is made from a black plastic takeout container. I gave the tube some extra stability by gluing it inside of a prescription drug bottle. Then I painted the tube and bottle black; the base is black plastic.

The chair was a lot trickier. I made this a few years ago with flexible plastic-covered wire, and the seat is cardboard with a cushion glued to it. I really had to force that wire into shape, and used floral wire to hold it together. Then I spray painted it red.

Putting the red chair in front of the red storefront kind of makes it disappear, so I'll bring back some pictures of the first version of her bistro set that I made in 2020 (one of my earliest pandemic projects).

These pictures are from Grace's trip to Paris! She got lots of inspiration there for how she wants her own shop to look. Here she is eating at her aunt and uncle's La Pâtisserie.

The turquoise menu board is just foam board that I painted, with a dowel as the pole. At the time I made it, I didn't have a printer, and I usually just did all my printing at the library. But the library closed during lockdown, and so I had to freehand paint and draw everything! The tabletop here is painted as well, but I like the cake board version better.

The croissant, brie cheese, and berries are made from clay. The little Eiffel Tower is a foam board base and some of that rigid clear plastic for the menu holder. The cup came from Dollar Tree, and the green straw is actually a small leftover piece of that flexible wire the bistro chair is made from.

So that's everything! I spent very little money on all the supplies, and used upcycled materials as often as I could. This won't be the last you'll see of the shop. This was definitely a huge time investment, and so I'll be using it often from now on.

#grace thomas #doll crafts #la grande patisserie

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bullet-prooflove · 5 months

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Okay girlie I’m back again❤️I just need a story for Manny Montana Omgg you really just relit my crushes on so many characters!

So my prompt is: #5- You are my sweetest downfall

Can’t wait to see how your talented hand bring this to life ✍🏾👏🏾

References to upcoming LakeTahoe! Series

It’s at the roller rink that Manny realises how perfectly you slot into his life in Yuma. You have hold of his daughter Melina’s hand as the two of you skate around the rink to the music overhead. The brightly coloured lights sweep across the floor as Melina laughs at something you say, and he feels a sense of peace in his heart.

You won’t be here forever; he knows it’s only a matter of time before you shoot off to your next destination. You’re gradually making a home here in Yuma but it’s in your nature to be nomadic, it’s a byproduct of your upbringing.

“She’s your downfall.” Hodda had told him last night back at the clubhouse. “You need a woman whose waiting for you to come home, not the other way around.”

Hodda’s the last of a dying breed. He'd been very disappointed to discover that the Crow Eaters down had moved on to Stockton. He’d been up visiting from Tuscan, fulfilling their final obligation to the pipeline before Yuma goes legit.

It’s ruffled a few feathers, the way that Manny’s doing business these days, but he doesn’t give a shit. Canche had left a mess behind after this death and Manny has spent the best part of a year cleaning it up. He’s turning his club into something better, following in Santo Padre’s footsteps.

“No.” Manny had told the other man, setting his beer down upon the surface of the table. “She’s my balance.”

He wasn’t living before he met you, not really. He’d had to become someone else when he’d stepped up and taken the presidency. The club had been falling apart, their finances were dire, morale was low. He’d had to harden himself, make tough decisions, he’d managed to turn it round, get them on the right track but it had cost him. He didn’t recognise the man in the mirror, he remembers his ex-wife Sam sitting down one night and telling him to take sometime away because she hadn’t seen him smile in months and it was starting to effect Melina.

That’s what the trip to Lake Tahoe had been about, spending some time with his daughter away from Yuma, getting to see some snow at Christmas. Then he’d met you and those three days you’d spent together had awoken something inside of him, he remembered what it was like to be adventurous, to have fun and enjoy the moment.

It’s been a few decades since he’s skated but as soon as he steps out onto the rink, it all rushes back to him at once. He’s rusty at first, his movements stilted but then Melina appears by his side, her hand slipping into his. He looks at you over the top of Melina’s head, he can’t help but reflect on how happy he is, and he knows that’s because of you.

If you are his downfall, you are most certainly the sweetest.

@darqchilddaydreamz @theesirenteller @wnbweasley @bonni-98 @skyesthebomb @delightfulbelieverwerewolf @redpool

#manny #manny montana #manny mayans mc #manny x reader #manny mayans #manny x you

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thephoenixdescendant · 7 months

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HEADCANON: HOW THE BF5 TEXT YOU

a/n: hello hello how are ya? I know I've been fucking dead for what, 2 years and then I come back giving ya random headcanons and disappear again for a few months and again randomly come back. I'm a goddamn mess and I'm sooo sorry. I just have poor time management skills and poor mental health. And also lack of motivation. Anywayyyys, here are some headcanons which I have been planning to write for a long time but keep forgetting to do so (also I don't know whether this headcanon was already done or not).

Vert Wheeler

Okay, so this man likes to use proper grammar. Will take his time to text back and NEVER the type to leave you on read, because he thinks it’s rude to do so.

He don’t really use the newer slang a lot.

Uses emojis as a way to express his emotions, and it’s quite literal.

Like this man uses the “😭” as a sign that he’s upset.

Uses the “😂”, “😄”, “❤️”, emoji’s quite a lot.

Long paragraphs about how much he loves you, paragraphs about what happened during missions are to be expected.

Agura Ibaden

Just like Vert, she doesn’t really use newer slang.

Only uses ”😀” emoji.

Will only leave you on read if she’s busy. Otherwise she’ll text back.

Will send you multiple texts but not enough for her to blow up your phone with notifications.

Flirts with you A TON. She may not look like a flirt but, she is. Only to you.

Zoom Takazeumi

Uses a TON of newer slang.

He sends you loooong paragraphs if he’s feeling very romantic and if he deeply misses you if you’re away. But if he’s feeling normal and as always being the goofball he is, he likes to send you short multiple messages.

Uses a lot of emojis.

Zoom: Babe, I miss you so much aaaahhhhh Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗💗💗💞💞💕💓💓💓💋💋💋💋💋❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️🥰💗💘💓💞💋💞💋💗💘💓💋💞💕💜🧡🩵💚💕💞💋❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💕💋💞💕💋❤️🥰❤️❤️🥰❤️🥰🥰💕💕❤️

Never leaves you on read.

Sherman Cortez

Sometimes, you wonder whether if it’s his grandma texting because he texts are so….old people-ish?

He will legit sends you Good Morning and Good Night Images. Something like this:

Very sweet and romantic when he has a full on convo with you.

He usually never leaves you on read and when he does, expect a bunch of apologies and a string of “I love you”’s

His texts range from short to large paragraphs.

He uses slang rarely

Uses a shit ton of emoji’s like Zoom.

Spinner Cortez

Uses a lot of slang

Uses emoji’s more than words tbh.

Obviously, short texts.

Will leave you on read, and will apologize if you get pissed off.

The type to send you a lot of memes. If someone looks through your text messages with him, it’ll mostly be memes that you send each other and reactions from both of you.

Stanford Isaac Rhodes

He’s British and from the royal family…so no slang. He kind of hates it tbh.

Flirts with you (obviously) and also will have a full on convo with you while he’s on the mission (Vert doesn’t appreciate this)

Will send you audios of him singing songs that he wrote. It’s obviously about you.

Sends you selfies of him with a text saying “I miss you, my little angel”

Short texts, but like a bunch of them. Enough to blow up your phone.

Will get insanely nervous if you don’t text him back within an hour if you’re away.

Tezz Volitov

This man is complicated.

This man just doesn’t text and it’s not because he doesn’t like it. He forgets to message people and let them know that he’s fucking alive.

You have to be the one to message him first and he’ll message you back shortly after. (Or like a day later. Depends on how busy he is)

Does not use emoji’s.

There are days were he is the first one to text and those are verrryyy rare. (DO NOT poke him too much on that, that will make him sulk)

AJ Dalton

Blows up your fucking phone with a long line of messages.

And half of the long line of texts are just him correcting himself from that fucking annoying autocorrect.

Sends a bunch of pictures of himself. Either of him taking selfies with random things he finds during missions or of him making goofy faces.

Replies to your messages INSTANTLY. He’s actually looking forward for your message.

Uses a shit ton of emoji’s as well.

#battle force 5 #bf5 #hot wheels battle force 5 #hot wheels bf5 #hot wheels #hwbf5 #vert wheeler #agura ibaden #stanford isaac rhodes iv #zoom takazeumi #sherman cortez #spinner cortez #tezz volitov #aj dalton

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i-m-snek · 1 year

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Welcome new followers!

I legit got 1k new followers from that ‘how to cook a snake’ post, so allow me to introduce myself! My name is Laura, Cis woman I go by she/her. Herpetologist and advocate for forward thinking when it comes to keeping reptiles. I’ve been keeping reptiles for 10 years now, and I regularly update my knowledge based on recent research. I specialize in ball pythons but have a fair amount of knowledge on other species as well. My entire life is based around giving my pets the best care I possibly can, and educating people on reptiles. I currently work as a tech in an oil and tire bay as my day job, but I make D&D dice on the side. Now, for what y’all followed for! Allow me to introduce my babies, along with showing off their setups.

This is Dante! He’s the first snake I’ve ever owned, got him 10 years ago and had him since he was only a few inches long. He is a Motley morph Corn snake, incredibly sweet and docile, and very curious. I have him in a bioactive enclosure, I’m still trying to find plants that he won’t destroy though lol. Ignore the dirty water bowl, I gave it a wash after I took the picture

Next up is Thresh! He’s a pinstripe morph Ball Python, hovering around 10 years old, I’ve had him since he was a baby as well. He’s generally slow moving, curious, and incredibly sweet. He is in a basic enclosure, but I plan on swapping him to bioactive in the next few months.

Here’s Leliana! My gorgeous and amazingly sweet Blue Eyed Leucistic ball python (from a lesser/mojave pair). The absolute sweetest snake, she is curious and friendly, one of my best ambassadors! I’ve had her for about ten years, and she remains as my top favorite snake. She is currently in a basic set up, I am unsure if I’m going to put her on bioactive since she doesn’t have any melanin to protect her from light. I may just use gentle plant lights if I do

This is Navi! My high red Brazillian Rainbow boa. She can be a little bit grouchy so I try to keep her handling to a minimum, as to not stress her out too much. When she is out though she is very fast, and wants to explore every nook and cranny she can find. As she’s aged her colors have dulled a bit, which can randomly happen to rainbow boas sometime. She’s been checked at the vet just to be safe and is still perfectly healthy. She is currently in a home made enclosure that is set up to be bioactive

This is Zevran! He’s a bi-colored crested gecko. I swear he has a single braincell that just pingpongs back and forth all day LOL. He is an adorable little goof, very sweet and curious. He fires down the nice light orangish pink you see in the photo, and fires up a nice bright orange color. He’s in a semi-bioactive enclosure, meaning there’s no plants and no UVB tube. I may upgrade him to full bioactive soon.

This is Kitana, my rescue bearded dragon. She is incredibly mild mannered and sweet, and very smart! She will glass surf to tell me when she needs to poop so I’ll take her outside to do her business. She is leash trained and loves outdoor time, and cuddle time. She does the cutest little shimmy to get cozy when I have her on my lap. She is currently in a home built enclosure with a tile base. I don’t know if I’ll swap her to bioactive or not, still on the fence about it. (She does have a water bowl, its just hiding behind the wood in the photo)

This is Aerith, my orange dream fire pinstripe ball python. She’s always hungry, poised and ready to eat any time I enter the room, she’s a little easier to stress out so she’s in her enclosure most the time, but every once and a while she is calm enough to come out and chill on the couch with me. She’s in a basic setup, but as with everyone else I’m gonna try and upgrade her to bioactive.

This is Asriel! My disco/fire (possibly enchi, possibly yellowbelly, which we are trying to prove out this year). I hatched him myself and raised him from the baby, he is incredibly sweet, very curious and super confident. I adore him so much honestly. He’s currently in a bioactive setup!

This is Aurelion Sol! He is a mexican black kingsnake, I think he’s around 12 or 13 years old? I got him when he was already an adult and around 9 years old or so, he’s from the same breeder I got Dante from. When I got Dante, the breeder also showed me baby mexican black kingsnakes that were from this guy and Cassiopeia (who has sadly passed away.) Aurelion is -always- hungry, and will try to catch and eat anything that moves. This photo is a rare occasion where he isn’t trying to eat me. He is currently in a basic set up, not sure if I’m going to swap him to bioactive or not. (he’s on the top shelf so it’s hard to get a pic of his enclosure)

This beautiful girl is Crunchwrap Supreme, a Suma (possible yellowbelly) ball python! My most recently acquired baby, and I already adore her so much. She is a little shy, but so so sweet. Once she is comfortable she is incredibly curious! She’s a fantastic eater, and I can’t wait to watch her grow. She is currently still in her quarantine enclosure, but as soon as she’s out I’ll likely get her set up in a bioactive!

This is Raina! My vanilla fire enchi yellowbelly ball python. I got her from a friend, who got her from @tailsandco (Hi Shelby! Been a while). I had adored Raina since the first time I saw her on Shelby’s blog, and some things happened and she ended up in my care (I am still so grateful like LOOK AT HER SHE’S GORGEOUS AND SWEET). Raina is so, sosososo sweet. She’s Asriels mama, and she’s a little small compared to my other females but that’s just a genetic thing. She eats well, and loves to take naps on the couch while I watch youtube. She’s in a regular setup currently but I want to put her on a bioactive as well!

This is Rhea, he’s a disco/fire ball python. He’s the father of Asriel, and has such a goofy personality. When he’s exploring he regularly goes underneath his own body and then just. Sits there like he’s stuck even when he’s not. He is incredibly sweet and loves to periscope! He’s currently in a basic setup, but as with everyone else, I plan on converting him to bioactive.

This is Tali! She’s a merauke locality scrub python. This species is actually well known for being incredibly bitey (as most arboreal species are), however there are always exceptions to the rule. I picked her out from her clutch mates because in the photos, she was the only one not poised to strike at the camera. That indicated the potential to be a calm, relaxed animal. I worked with her since she was a baby to make her comfortable with me, and trust me. If she turned out to be bitey I wouldn’t have minded, I knew what I was getting into. But the patience and trust paid off, she is the absolute sweetest! I still get her out of her enclosure with a snake hook for safety reasons, but once she’s out I handle her with my hands. She is so, so sweet and I am forever grateful for how much she trusts me. Her, Leliana, and now Crunchwrap are all competing for my number 1 top favorite snake I own. She is currently in a huge bioactive setup! I plan on getting more of the Dracaena 'Marginata' (the tiny palm tree looking thing) soon. This is just the left corner of the enclosure too!

This is Undyne! She’s a Merauke locality Blue Tongue Skink :) She is incredibly smart, not quite on the level of a tegu but pretty close. I’ve been doing choice based handling with her and it’s improved our levels of trust by a ton. She loves crunching on ice, and exploring the livingroom in her play pen. She’s currently in an 8 foot long basic enclosure. Again, I really wanna put her on bioactive but I gotta figure out what plants are safe to be in there in case she wants to munch them. Lol

This is Pharoh! He’s my rescue cat that I found in my front yard when he was a kitten. I found him during the beginning of COVID so we were home together every day for 3 months. He is incredibly sweet, cuddly, and also playful. He’s a mama’s boy, he follows me around the house 24/7 and if I’m sitting, you can bet he’s in my lap. He gets special meals where I put him in the back room so I can safely have my reptiles out, and he doesn’t see it as a bad thing because he gets a big special meal. He even has a giant running wheel to help keep him entertained while I’m at work. He’s such a good little man

I also have a couple spiders, but I don’t want to tag this big post with it so I’ll leave them out and possibly do a post on just them later on. But yeah that’s the family! I pride myself in taking the best possible care of my pets that I can :)

#reptiblr #snake #lizard #cat #long post

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wedonttalkaboutthisbro · 2 years

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Gareth Emmerson hc’s (sfw, some x gn reader)

I'm ngl, this is my first time writing on this app LMFAO so if it's terrible or the layout isn't good lmk! (please give suggestions I'm screaming and crying)

General Headcannons:

LOVES sour candy. Honestly, he would probably sell his soul for some sour patch kids.

His father wasn’t there for him much as a child so he basically taught himself most of the ‘Handyman’ things that he knows.

On that note, he has probably once or twice tried to fix something like the bathroom sink and completely failed. So when his mom called the plumber he was so embarrassed about it.

100% cries when he eats something too spicy.

A huge sucker for romance movies. Specifically RomComs but he’d rather die than let anyone (but you) know that.

Master of puppy dog eyes. One peek at him looking up at you with his wide eyes and cute little pout and you’re(or legit anyone for that matter) done for.

He has two younger sisters and one older sister.

Well educated on periods and childbirth.

Adding on to that, he’s very good with kids.

He collects can tabs considering the fact that he’s mildly (or not so mildly) addicted to Dr. Pepper.

Used to get bullied as a child for his looks.

Going off of that, he’s insecure about his looks. (REASSURE HIM THAT HE’S PERFECT)

Cringes at the smallest things.(LMAO me too bro)

Got his eyebrow pierced at like 13. He loved it for the first few months then out of the blue decided he hated it and took it out.

Hates blue cheese

Feminist

He has Adhd, my man can’t sit still. He’s always moving, tapping his fingers on his desk to some unknown beat, bouncing his knee. The list goes on.

Protective big brother energy.

Likes cats more than dogs, he claims it’s because they’re calmer.

He has really warm hands, they’re so soft and so big and so so warm.

Really sensitive skin, can only use certain soaps.

Drools in his sleep. As well as drooling he has some gnarly bed head.

Looks up to most of his male teachers like a son would look up to his father.

Dad friend.

Relationship hc’s:

Admires you from afar, he gets really shy around you so he’ll just watch and swoon from a distance.

He would love everything about you, from every freckle to every strand of hair. He would basically worship your existence.

Hates it when his club members touch his hair. But he loves it when YOU do, only you. Only ever you.

He falls asleep at night dreaming about a family with you. (It helps him sleep very well LOL)

Very much a simp (It’s giving Ray from Princess and The Frog)

Super romantic and lovey dovey.

Isn’t too fond of pda but he will hold your hand under the table and kiss your cheek when he’s leaving the room.

Considering the fact that he has three sisters,(If you’re AFAB) he’d be so tentative to you when you’re on your period. Pulling out all of the shots, food? heating pads? cuddles? He has them whenever you want them. (especially cuddles!!!)

Writes cute love poems but never shows you. (Lowkey want to make this a whole one-shot like where you find them. Lmk if you want that LOL)

Lets you drink some of his Dr.Pepper at lunch. (oOoo so privileged!)

Sucker for dorky pickup lines.

“Are you angry at me?” “No? Why?” “You haven’t looked at me once in the past 3 minutes” type shit

Nightly ‘goodnight’ phone calls.

Whines about having to sleep without you in his bed, over the phone call.

Forehead kisses!!!

You’d be his first s/o and he loves and admires you so so much.

Kiss all over his face and hear his sweet little giggles. (I’m crying it’s so cute)

If you ever end up going to the beach with this man, give him a shovel. He’ll be busy allllllll day. He’ll dig a huge hole and look up at you with pure excitement in his eyes. He’d be so proud of himself.

Nicknames like: Sugar, Honey, Darling(darlin’), baby, Doll, prince/princess(If you’re comfortable with those)

Loves when you wear his clothes or sleep in his bed!!! He loves your smell lingering on his stuff.

Definitely believes in love at first sight but he would NEVER admit it.

Drive-in dates, small cheap greasy diner dates.

Would 178% teach you the drums if you asked.

His love languages are psychical touch and gift giving.

Wants kids in the future.

#gareth emerson x reader #gareth x reader #gareth emerson

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mariana-oconnor · 1 year

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The Red-Headed League Pt 2

until the comical side of the affair so completely overtopped every other consideration that we both burst out into a roar of laughter.

Professional people being professional. Mmhm. You'd think a doctor would be better at keeping a straight face, I'm pretty sure humans have been sticking inappropriate things in inappropriate places since time immemorial. But these two are giggling like school boys. A lovely image, but I'd be a bit mad if they did it to me. I can't blame Mr Wilson for being mad at them.

Finally, I went to the landlord, who is an accountant living on the ground-floor, and I asked him if he could tell me what had become of the Red-headed League. He said that he had never heard of any such body. Then I asked him who Mr Duncan Ross was. He answered that the name was new to him.

Surprising no one at all. I said it in my comments about the first part, but I love how this whole scam has been echoed in heist shows/films right up to modern day. Acquire offices under false pretences, create hype around fake business, use office to make business look legit, pack up shop and leave an empty office behind and no one with any clue what the mark is talking about.

"I went home to Saxe-Coburg Square, and I took the advice of my assistant. But he could not help me in any way. He could only say that if I waited I should hear by post.

I mean, honestly, for someone who is supposedly unassociated with the league in question, that's more than he should be able to say. A more normal response would be 'That's fucking weird, boss. I think it might be a scam.' But clearly Victor is entirely trustworthy, so I shouldn't question him. Totally trustworthy.

On the contrary, you are, as I understand, richer by some 30 pounds, to say nothing of the minute knowledge which you have gained on every subject which comes under the letter A.

I expect that pub quizzes weren't around in 1890, but if they were, Mr Wilson would be an excellent addition to your team.

The internet tells me pub quizzes only date back to the 70s. Which seems late, as I swear my Mum's dad and brothers used to go religiously to their local league when she was young, but maybe I got the timeline on that wrong.

Further investigation has found me to be correct as the very league my family used to frequent is apparently referenced in an article from the early 60s. In fact it quotes someone who absolutely must have known my grandad and might even be in the picture of the quiz team on top of our bookcase.

This tangent has been brought to you by my love of trivia... Pun intended.

Back to the 1890s

"Why did you pick him?"

"Because he was handy and would come cheap."

"At half-wages, in fact."

"Yes."

A lesson that stands to this day: if something seems impossibly good value, it probably is. And if someone is willing to work for less than they're worth, one of you is the bad guy.

"As a rule," said Holmes, "the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify. But I must be prompt over this matter."

This reads like a contradiction, but I'm pretty sure it's true. It's the weird things that make crimes stand out and lead to the people committing them. The crimes that are completely run of the mill, like house burglaries, are one of a thousand almost identical crimes. But if a juggling clown robbed a shoe shop and rode off on a unicycle, that would cut down the suspects drastically.

"To smoke," he answered. "It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won't speak to me for fifty minutes."

Infamous line is infamous. All problems may be measured by how many pipes it takes to solve them. The standard SI unit of mysteriousness, I believe.

"Sarasate plays at the St. James's Hall this afternoon," he remarked. "What do you think, Watson? Could your patients spare you for a few hours?"

"I have nothing to do to-day. My practice is never very absorbing."

Let's hope no one has stuck a candlestick anywhere unmentionable... But seriously, you can just ditch your patients for the day? And I complain about waiting times for the NHS!

Watson is just: 'My bff asked me to play hooky. Lol. Byeee!' and these people are paying him.

"Smart fellow, that," observed Holmes as we walked away. "He is, in my judgment. the fourth smartest man in London, and for daring I am not sure that he has not a claim to be third. I have known something of him before."

Holmes, the man is a terrible con artist. He's the most suspicious and he was so obvious it was embarrassing. And you're putting him right behind you in the list? (I assume Mycroft is number 1)

I guess that being intelligent doesn't mean you have to be good at conning people, but really, he's terrible at it. He couldn't have been more obviously involved if he had a sandwich board on saying 'The red-headed league is a con. Ask me how!'

I know Mr Wilson didn't work it out, but literally everyone else did. I bet that 14 year old child labour maid Mr Wilson hires knows he's a con man and just doesn't care because she's not paid enough to.

"Not him."

"What then?"

"The knees of his trousers."

I have been on this website too long, because my mind absolutely went into the gutter here. Which, incidentally, was also one of the places I thought of his knees being.

"Let us now explore the parts which lie behind it."

Is it a bank? Please be a bank. I honestly can't remember. But I want it to be a bank. Just for that good, old-fashioned bank robbery shenanigans. Although I will accept jewellery shop.

"There is Mortimer's, the tobacconist, the little newspaper shop, the Coburg branch of the City and Suburban Bank, the Vegetarian Restaurant, and McFarlane's carriage-building depot."

Oh yeah. Got to love a bank robbery. Classic.

This has been copied so many times in media it's difficult to tell whether contemporary audiences would have been as able to work it out as modern readers. But it's a classic for a reason.

Also worth noticing that there's a Vegetarian restaurant in London in 1890. You'd have been hard pressed to find a vegetarian restaurant in most parts of England in 1990, so that's ahead of its time.

My friend was an enthusiastic musician, being himself not only a very capable performer but a composer of no ordinary merit. All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness, gently waving his long, thin fingers in time to the music, while his gently smiling face and his languid, dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes, the sleuth-hound, Holmes the relentless, keen-witted, ready-handed criminal agent, as it was possible to conceive.

Watson's crush is showing again. 😆

This description keeps going in a further totally heterosexual way. Look, I'm not saying straight guys can't appreciate their bff's 'languid, dreamy eyes', but when directly compared to his descriptions of other characters... This is exceptionally effusive is all I'm saying.

And, I say, Doctor, there may be some little danger, so kindly put your army revolver in your pocket.

Must. Not. Make. Joke.

#Letters from Watson #Sherlock Holmes #The Red-Headed League #long post

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pbandjesse · 2 months

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It was very very rainy today. I knew it was going to rain but didn't expect it to be so heavy. It wasn't heavy the entire day but it was pouring for a lot of it.

I slept okay. When James was leaving I asked them for an eye mask so I could continue to sleep without getting sum in my eyes. But while that helped me sleep, it really wasn't necessary because the sun never came out.

When I did finally get up at 930 I felt alright. Best news though I legit felt pretty today. My face didn't feel puffy anymore. I am thinking I may have been having a reaction to a new eye cream I tried. But who knows really.

I got up and got dressed. I pulled all of my sweaters from under the bed so I could make one drawer of sweaters and one of sweatshirts. Made it a little more easy for me to find things. And also now I can actually open the drawers because they were overly full. But it's better now.

I decided that I would drive out to the savers and get Denny's for brunch and go to home Depot.

I left here and it was raining! Raining hard! It's surprising how much I cannot hear that in the house. Like I'm not as aware of it. But it was fine. I got to the car and got my podcast going and headed out.

I decided on Denny's first. It was pretty busy but it seemed more that they didn't have enough staff. But that's okay I didn't have a schedule.

When I did get sat my waitress was very nice. I liked people watching. And my food was pretty good, except the grilled cheese was on potato bread? That was strange. But it was still a good meal and cheaper then five guys.

There was a large family having a birthday brunch which was very sweet to see. And I enjoyed my video and my food. And even when I had to wait a really long time for the check it was all good. I didn't mind.

I paid and drove over to Home Depot, which is on the same shopping center. I measured the back of the car and I could for a 5 ft piece of wood on the back. But I would push the limits.

I got the molding I needed for the living room. Which I had to cut myself. Which was very fun for me.

I went to look for boards. And struggled to find the dimensions I needed. So I decided to risk it. And got 3 8ft boards instead.

I would very carefully take them on my regular cart to the register. I paid. Did not get a credit card even though the cashier really tried to push me to.

And off to the car.

And I was so lucky. Literally the boards were touching the radio dial. But the car closed and that's all that mattered.

I drove down the street to go to savers. I was in a good mood and while I did have fun, it was a little to busy. I would find a cute frame. I looked at the shoes but no luck on the two things I was looking for. But then I found a standing lamp.

I have been looking online for a lamp but nothing spoke to me. But this one did. I couldn't test it because it had no bulb. But I had faith.

Except there was no price. I went to a worker and he said he would go ask someone. Ab older woman who was sitting there chatted with me about how you never know if someone would price something or tell you it needs to go back to get processed and how stupid it is. And she was very passionate about this. We are talking for a few minutes when we saw the worker just wandering around. And so she stopped him and was like. Price for this lady?? And he was like oh he's in the break room. And she was like okay still ask. So he leaves again for a few minutes. Then comes back and says he's on lunch.

And wanders away. We were both very confused. Then we see another worker price something for another person and this lady yells over at him. Startles everyone. But she got his attention and he came right over, and priced my lamp for $6. Thank you lady for sticking up for me.

I paid for my frame and lamp. Got them to the car and immediately broke the inside of the shade. It was like shattering plastic. But the fabric part was fine and so I would just take the inside part out when I got home.

And I decided to go right home. I had thought about going to another thrift store but decided it was to rainy and I wanted to start building my book case.

So I did just that. And while the drive was a little tough, it wasn't horrible. And I got home in one piece.

When I got back I got everything inside. I cleaned the lamp. I found a bulb. I finished taking the plastic off the shade. And was thrilled that it worked and it looks so good.

I got to work on my bookcase I would use a hand saw for eveything. And while it's not perfect, I am thrilled with how it came together. I would predrill everything and got it all measured and I'm really excited how good I did. Like I know it's not perfect. It's a little wobbly. But I'm really happy with it and it's going to accomplish exactly what I wanted.

It would take me a few hours to build. Stopping to vacuum and clean up. And I had build a bottom for the thing but then it got stuck at an angle on the ceiling and I had to redo the bottom. But it was fine. I made a smaller base and put a wall anchor on the top. And got it installed on the wall.

Once it's got some wood filler and paint it's going to look amazing. And I'm just really proud my myself.

After I cleaned everything up I would do a little more putting away. And then all of a sudden it was 4. And I would get on the couch with sweetp to play on my phone and cuddle with Sweetp until James got home.

I had nachos. And just enjoyed our little space. It's coming together so nice and I'm really excited to share it with everyone.

James would get home and we're soaking wet. The rain has picked up and was very very strong. But they would get changed and come hang out with me on the couch.

We would hang out on the couch until 6. I would go fix up my makeup and we would get ready to go to have a birthday dinner for Tucker.

It was pouring really really bad. We would get there safe but man it was a little scary out there. I would read James about a court case that was crazy. And we would laugh about the name of the law firm. Womble Bond Dickersons. Ridiculous ass name.

Dinner was fun. We went to a place that some of Anne and Tucker'd friends were going to be playing music. And it was so fun to meet them. And it was really nice dinner. Music and laughing and story telling. We got to much food. I really enjoyed James's company. And Charlotte's dead pan story telling. Tucker and Anne were fun and brought a carrot cake. Which they kept trying to give pieces to people around the bar. Including to our waitress who was so excited to get it.

We were there until right around 9. But tomorrow is daylights savings and James will be losing so much sleep. Since Sunday is already a day they go on an hour early. My poor husband.

So we have everyone hugs and headed home.

When we got back here we would make a list of things to accomplish before our house warming. And I cuddled Sweetp. And we got ready for bed.

I am going to go take a shower. And go to sleep. Because tomorrow we have our open house at camp and I really want to be well rested. I hope it's a lot of fun.

And I hope you all have a great night. And a good day tomorrow. I love you all. Goodnight!!

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onlylostphysics · 1 year

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@ofmdjanuaury Day 13: Crime 😃

Ed owns a van full of shovels and chainsaws and black bags, and his hard landscaping company is definitely a legit business that's absolutely not a cover for anything else. Stede needs some gardening work done.

---

Stede lifts his chin, squares his shoulders, and knocks on the window.

"Fuck off, we're busy," shouts someone deep inside the van. It sounds a lot like that raspy man who was so rude on the phone.

"You've been parked here for several hours. You don't seem very busy," Stede calls.

There's a clatter of movement, the van rocking slightly like something heavy is being shifted around, and then in the shadows of the front seats there's suddenly a hand on the front passenger seat, and a head like a cloud of smoke —

"Hi," says a man with the most magnificent beard Stede has ever seen, grinning in a way that seems entirely at odds with the sandpaper voice Stede was expecting.

"Edward," someone hisses behind him.

Edward winds down the window, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he looks down at Stede. "How can we help?" he says.

"We don't do private clients!" shouts the voice from the back. "I told him!"

"And I told him that was ridiculous," Stede says, and holds out his hand. "Stede Bonnet. I have a garden I'd like some help with."

"That's what we do," Edward says, his smile still wide like he's sharing some private joke. He reaches through the window to shake Stede's hand, his palms covered with fingerless gloves, the leather warm against Stede's fingers. "Edward Teach. Gardening help. Very reasonable rates."

"We're busy!" shouts the raspy man.

"No, we're not," Edward says, not turning around. He rests his arms on the edge of the window, his eyes dark and warm and friendly, and Stede feels the heat of it all the way down to his toes. This was a fabulous idea — serendipitous, even, to find such a helpful professional parked practically on his doorstep!

"What sort of gardening do you need help with?" Edward asks.

"Oh, all of it! I've only recently moved in, you see, and the garden is quite large and quite embarrassingly overgrown. You could lose anything in there! I was hoping to get the weeds cleared first, and maybe open up a path to the lake —"

"There's a lake?" Edward says.

"Mm hmm! Would you like to come in and discuss ideas over a cup of tea?" Stede asks, turning to gesture at his house up the driveway, and — oh, he keeps forgetting it looks like that. It is a bit foreboding from the outside, all dark stone and barren climbers, the dozen windows like dead eyes in a blank face, but he's making it quite cosy in the few habitable rooms.

Edward, when Stede glances back, is looking up at the house with his eyebrows raised high. "I thought all these houses were abandoned," he says, something careful in his voice. He must not want to insult him, which is very sweet.

"Well, yes, my family sort of... owns the land."

"All of it?" Edward says, looking interested. There's an odd, spluttering noise from inside the van, like someone's dropped a wrench on their foot.

"All of it," Stede admits, keeping his voice light. "I, well, I won't bore you with the details but I'm hoping to fix that one up and turn it into a home! Starting with the garden, of course."

"Huh," Edward says, and then, turning to call back into the van, shouts, "We can help with that, can't we, Iz?"

The van is silent. "We'd love to," Edward says, turning back with a grin. His gaze flicks up to the house again and he looks interested in a way that no one else has — there's not even a trace of the pitying grimace that Stede's learnt to expect when showing off his new home.

"Fab! Are you free now, or —?"

"Yep," Edward says quickly, and shifts so he can open the door. He jumps down, black boots landing heavy on the dirt, and goodness, all that leather must be practical for gardening. "Gimme the tour," he says, and Stede beams.

---

the rest of my JanuAUry fics can be found on tumblr or AO3!

#this is another one i really want to continue #guess what stede buried under the roses~#ofmd fic #ofmdjanuaury #our flag means death

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secretgamergirl · 10 months

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Absolute Shameless Lying Edutainment Commercials from the ‘80s

I don’t know why it suddenly got into my head to talk about this, but I just randomly remembered these two commercials I saw when I was very young and what serious BS both of them are. First we’ve got The Sweet Pickles Bus.

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So the actual product here is what I’m pretty sure was an honestly shamelessly overpriced plastic box containing like, half a dozen flash cards with letters of the alphabet. Pretty sure you didn’t even get the whole alphabet. Which is such a huge waste of money. No child wants a plastic box of flash cards, no parent wants to buy that. Wasn’t really a reasonable price either. But that is absolutely NOT what this commercial was selling. What we CLEARLY SEE here is a promise that your box of crappy flash cards is going to be HAND DELIVERED BY SOME KIND OF MUPPET DUCK DRIVING A GIANT PICKLE BUS WHO WILL PERSONALLY PLACE IT IN THE HANDS OF YOU, A SMALL CHILD, AND YOU WILL HAVE A LITTLE INTERACTION. That is something I could, and in fact did, beg my mother to pay for like the snot-nosed little toddler I was until she caved.

And guess what? There was no bus. There was no duck. They just shipped this box of garbage through the regular mail. I think my mother made the really bad call of trying to keep up kayfabe and insisted that the duck was in a hurry and I missed him because I was asleep which gave me a haunting regret for years. And the thing is, it honestly wasn’t that plausible that this was legit. It’s not like, a cartoon duck here. You can customize a van, you can get a mascot costume. This might have been a weird local thing because local ads were a thing back then. Kind of a birthday clown business model, you know? This is why a few years later commercials for toys and board games started really covering their asses with stuff like “game cards do not actually talk.”

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Like yeah, free floating living cartoons are not going to burst out of this cheap game, even a small child should get that, but they absolutely could have had a guy in a duck suit drive a delivery van around. That’s straight up misleading.

The other one popping into my mind today though is freaking Muzzy. Does anyone remember Muzzy? This is Muzzy.

youtube

So like... that really is not, in fact, French those AMERICANS are speaking. That’s not even proper French Muzzy is speaking. This is butchered French gibberish I have to assume was the result of people looking up one word at a time in an English to French dictionary. Transcribing it, we’ve got:

“Je suis, le grand Muzzy.”

“Je suis la jeune fille!”

Literally, one word at a time, that’s:

“I am, the big Muzzy.”

“I am the young girl!”

Even in English that’s super weird and awkward but like... this is not at all how French is structured. This isn’t even something you need to be a native speaker to know, this is like, literal day one high school French knowledge.

First off, I would never, ever say, in French, “Je suis Violet.” I would say “Je m’appelle Violette.” Literally that’s “I call myself Violet,” with the explicitly femme version of the name. “I am” is reserved for like, a type of thing/person you are. Also, adjectives always come after the nouns they describe, and even in the right order, “la fille jeune” kinda suggests that she’s the ONLY young girl. In English you’d say “a young girl” here and that does translate across, so that should be “une fille jeune.” Which is also still just a weird thing to exclaim but at least it’s proper French and not gibberish. I’m not even totally sure what they were trying to have Muzzy convey. Was it a nickname? Was there some sort of small Muzzy he needed to distinguish himself from? Is this some kind of Bigger Luke thing? Regardless it seems pretty clear these tapes were thrown together by someone with just no actual qualifications at all, and they drilled it into a whole generation.

I don’t have any sort of larger point here, just, wow screw these hucksters who plastered ads all over like, Nickelodeon 40 years ago. This is awful.

#muzzy #sweet pickles bus #fraud #80s nostalgia

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magentagalaxies · 1 year

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so basically a few weeks ago paul bellini sent me two signed mouth congress vinyls as a late birthday present slash gift for running the mouth congress social media and i thought i'd post a vinyl tour bc there's so many cool details here! this is gonna be a long post bc the lyric booklet that came with waiting for henry is pretty much a full zine and i really love all the effort they put into it

contents:

waiting for henry double LP (signed by scott and paul!)

ahhhh the pollution 7" (signed by scott and paul!)

Mouth Congress button (did not know this was a thing so it was just a fun little bonus gift he threw in)

first, close up photo of the sticker on the waiting for henry cover:

next pictures of each of the vinyls:

the lighting was a bit off in these pictures but the vinyls are so beautiful it's unreal. ahhhh the pollution is a translucent bright orange, the first half of waiting for henry is beige, and the second half is this beautiful bright blue that looks like blue rasperry candy. i'm always a sucker for colorful vinyls (i just picked up a copy of "take the sadness out of saturday night" by bleachers on a seaglass vinyl the other day) and i wasn't sure if they had any left so the fact that both releases are on such beautiful vinyl is amazing

next we have the zine!! here's the cover:

the first few pages are a short summary of the mouth congress story as told by paul himself, along with a few pictures of the band members from their college days:

after that we have a fictitious profile of the band written by aviva avoovoo (a freelance writer character created by paul bellini) where she visits the mouth congress chalet and discovers the "dark secrets" that lie within. it's so funny and surreal but i didn't want to post every page of it so instead i'll focus on this old vaguely-cursed pic of paul that accompanied the writing:

once we're done with the fictional side of things there's a two-page spread of cassettes mouth congress put together in the 80s/90s that they released in an attempt to promote the band. each cassette description has a list of featured songs, some of which were later put on "ahhhh the pollution" or "waiting for henry" and some of which i'd never heard about previously and am very intrigued by. i took close-up pics of these two specifically since they're the ones i most want to look into from that page

specifically i really wanna learn more about madam alphonsa. who is she. she's mentioned in "me on my off hours" and makes an appearance on "madamifesto" and "let's hear it for show business." they mentioned in the mouth congress documentary that kevin used to play madam alphonsa's husband. several characters scott played in mouth congress were later done on kids in the hall but madam alphonsa is my new lost media obsession.

after that we have a solid six pages of scott and paul interviewing each other. again it's very long so i'm not posting everything but it was a very good interview which makes me love the band even more and it also had this picture with it:

more old pictures (look how young scott and paul look in the bottom right one i'm losing my mind):

centerfold:

then we have at least 10 pages of lyrics for every song on waiting for henry as well as short blurbs about the story behind each song which was really cool and might be its own post someday, but last but not least i wanted to leave you with my favorite part of the mouth congress zine: the word search

legit took this pic just so i could highlight the words digitally and not draw on the actual zine but oh my god i had so much fun doing this. unironically i think every vinyl should come with a thematically linked word search. it really just goes to show how much joy and effort scott and paul put into everything mouth congress does and i'm so honored i get to be part of their story at the level where i can get something like this autographed and sent to me for free (and also might get free admission to an upcoming mouth congress show if i help them set up beforehand and film the show?? like paul you do realize i would pay VIP prices for this but thank you for doing it for free?? also thank you for asking how my own musical went and genuinely caring about the answer???)

anyway this got a little rambly towards the end but my point is. queercore punk is truly the genre of all time and mouth congress is so fucking great nobody is going it like them

#mouth congress #scott thompson #paul bellini #kids in the hall #vinyl collection #vinyl records #kids in the hall/mouth congress fans come get y'all juice i have new content for youuu #legit even if this wasn't personally autographed. even if i wasn't a friend of the band. even if i didn't even like the music #this would still be my favorite vinyl i own #vinyl is annoyingly expensive and this is the only vinyl i've gotten where i'm like ''yeah this is worth paying $50''#but no the retail price on waiting for henry is $30 #and i got it for FREE. SIGNED even #with their EP and a BUTTON too!#also it's very funny to me that paul bellini constantly uses my full name (jessamine) instead of a nickname like jess like most people do #at this point i'm pretty sure he just thinks my name is cool which yeah fair it is #theory that if i was named something super generic this wouldnt have happened #but since i have such a strange name it sticks with people and leads to networking opportunities lmao

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theoddcatlady · 5 months

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I'm Never Shooting Another Snuff Film

You don’t start out shooting snuff. You build up to it. To be honest, I never thought I’d let it get that far. And I wish I never did.

I started out wanting to be a legit film maker. But that’s a hard business to break into when you don’t know the right people. Living on your own is expensive, and it gets humiliating to ask your parents for help covering your rent after the second time. My mom was always more than happy to help, but it wasn’t like my parents were loaded, and I hated being a leech.

Eating nothing but ramen noodles and cheap mac n cheese is its own kind of misery. Not to mention being unable to go out and do anything with friends. I mean, I survived, but I was miserable. So when the chance to film a porno came up, I jumped at the chance. I told myself it would be just this once.

Just this once turned into just one more time, then this would be the last time, and before I knew it I started getting deeper and deeper into the taboo. Like Fifty Shades of Grey looked vanilla compared to some of the BDSM I was behind the camera for.

I knew I was getting out of the realm of legal when I filmed a girl cutting open her arms and licking up the blood. I don’t know what she was on, but she had to be on something to do this all while smiling and giggling. But that check felt so damn good, so I kept my mouth shut. I was finally in the black. I told myself no one made her do those things, so what was the harm in it?

Then one day I was approached with a once in a lifetime deal. I normally worked with my guy Charlie, he got all the hook ups for the weird stuff. One day Charlie came over with this other guy I’d never met before who introduced himself as Noel.

Noel doesn’t look how you’re probably picturing someone in this scene, he was about five foot six and balding on top. He wore these round wire framed glasses and made me think of a schoolteacher. The kind of teacher that everyone loved, the one that you couldn’t wait for his class every day because he never assigned homework and let you listen to music while you worked.

“I’m a fan of your work, Frank- can I call you Frank?” Noel took out his wallet and counted out a few hundred dollar bills. “This is your signing bonus. Once the film is complete, I’ll give you double that.”

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “How long’s the filming going on for?” I asked, already snatching up the money.

“Oh, just a day. Maybe two, if we need to do reshoots. Don’t worry, you’ll be compensated if it takes any longer than it should.” Noel extended his hand. “What do you say? No hard feelings if you feel you’re not up for the task.”

I shook Noel’s hand and asked when I started.

I figured it would just be over the top BDSM when I saw the set, all chains and brick. I had a few drinks with the two male actors while we waited for the actress to make her appearance. Not gonna lie, I got Ted Bundy vibes from the guy calling himself Tommy, but Gabe seemed like another average, fun guy.

When I saw the actress get dragged in, I realized how very deep I was in over my head.

Her mouth had been duct taped shut, she’d clearly been crying and looked pretty banged up. Noel followed the men dragging her and clapped his hands together. “Let’s get to work then! Frank, I’d like for you to focus a lot on her limbs. The commissioner is very into legs and arms. You’ll only get one chance, but since this is your first time filming this sort of kink, I won’t be too upset if it’s not perfect.”

I should’ve just bolted then. Gave Noel back his goddamn money and left. Gone to the cops, gone to someone.

Instead, I quietly sat behind the camera and treated it like any other porn film.

Lights, camera, action.

I never knew the girl’s name. Both Tommy and Gabe wore full leather masks and were armed with hand saws. I zoomed in as they started sawing through her shoulder. Drops of blood landed on the camera and I brushed them off without even thinking. I saw Noel nod approvingly at that natural motion. The arm fell to the ground and I panned over it nice and slow as it rested on the floor.

They took off her other arm and both legs, her struggles slowly fading and her eyes fluttering shut by the time they got through the final femur. Tommy and Gabe stood, bowed to the camera like they were on stage for a play.

And cut.

I had to run to the bathroom after that. I vomited for what felt like an hour. When I finally stumbled out, Noel handed me the rest of my payment. He patted my shoulder and helped escort me to my car. “It’s always hardest the first time. I bet you had dreams of filming the next summer blockbuster someday?” He said.

I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t need to. Noel just nodded. “We all had dreams like that. Maybe if things turned out differently we would’ve been working on one of those blockbusters together. I’ll call you when I need your services again.”

I told myself that I wouldn’t pick up the phone again when Noel called.

But I did.

I did twenty-five snuff films in total. The money felt so, so damn good. And after a while, you really do become desensitized to it all. For me, it just felt like I was in a dream. A dream with gore and guts and horrible, horrible things happening to people, but it wasn’t happening to me. I just saw it through a lens.

The twenty-fifth film was the one that finally made me quit.

I was out drinking with my fellow crew members when Noel came up with this darling blonde on his shoulder. I don’t know how he did it as he was pretty average in appearance, but Noel could get the hottest women.

“Gentlemen, this is Rada. Rada, this is Tommy, Gabe, and Frank,” He said, gesturing to them all.

Rada giggled and clapped. “Noel tells me you are… actors?” She said, her Russian accent thick on her words.

Gabe puffed up. “Tommy and I are the actors. Frank’s the camera man,” He said.

“Camera man?” She cocked her head to the side. “Is it fun?” She asked.

I shrugged. “Well, I like it. It pays the bills,” I said.

“Very good, very good!” Rada clapped before looking up at Noel. “Could I be in a film? I’ve always wanted to be an actress.”

I nearly dropped my glass. I had to excuse myself from the table, unable to ignore that glint of darkness in Noel’s smile.

I got a text about twenty minutes later saying to head to the ‘studio’. I stopped by at home to change into clothes I didn’t mind getting bloody before I walked over.

Rada was clearly drunk as she teetered around the set. She poked at the chains on the wall and smiled. “Am I a captive in your scene, Noel?” She asked.

“That sounds about right.” Noel helped her into the chains, Rada’s innocent doe brown eyes looking excitedly around. This whole thing made me genuinely sick. It was one thing when they were terrified, begging for mercy and sobbing as they realized they were doomed. But the innocent expression on Rada’s face, how clear it was she had no idea what was going to happen… I almost walked out then.

But then Noel slipped a few hundreds in my hand and I just got the camera ready.

“Now remember, Rada, you are terrified. You are in true fear of your life as this man is about to gut you. Don’t be afraid to scream,” Noel said.

Rada nodded. “I can do that! I’m very good at being scared,” She said.

Tommy snickered before he pulled on his leather mask. “This is just too easy sometimes,” He murmured to me. I just rolled my eyes.

Lights. Camera. Action.

Rada’s bubbly expression changed to one of true terror as Tommy walked into the camera. “Please, why am I here? I want to go home, please,” She said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Tommy twirled around the knife before sliding it down her front, slicing through the front of her dress. Rada whimpered and turned her face away. “I’ll do whatever you want! Please, take my money, use my body!” She begged.

The knife nicked her skin and I saw this brief moment of confusion before she began to struggle in earnest, realizing this wasn’t just a movie anymore. “Nyet! Unchain me! I don’t like this game! Director! I don’t want to play anymore!” She shouted.

The knife went into her stomach and her breath caught before she screamed so loudly I felt my ears pop.

Tommy sliced down her stomach, thrusting his hand inside to pull out her intestines. He held them in front of her eyes as she continued to scream actual bloody murder. Even Noel, who was typically quite passive during these scenes, winced and rubbed one of his ears.

Rada’s dying breaths came as all her organs were spilled out in front of her. Tommy bowed for the camera.

And cut.

“Incredible,” Noel shook his head before he got up and threw Tommy a towel, “You’ve outdone yourself.”

Tommy nodded before I heard a groan.

“Noel, can I go again? I can do better.”

I am not lying when I say I literally pissed my pants when I saw Rada’s head roll back up, blinking a few times before her eyes focused on Noel.

Tommy screamed like a school girl as he scrambled away, ripping off his mask. “How the fuck!?!” He yelped as Rada began to tug at her chains.

The girl groaned before rolling her eyes and smashing her right hand against the wall, I heard bones crack before she pulled her mangled hand free. She did the same to the left before she began the impossible task of shoving her organs inside her mangled torso. “Scene… sorry… your language is hard… when I hurt…” She grunted as she popped her large intestine back inside. “Scene would look better, covered in my blood? I can be cleaned,” She looked up with a smile as she attempted to pull her skin together.

Noel got up from his chair, I saw him shake as he slowly approached this woman that should absolutely be dead. “What are you?” He said softly.

Rada giggled.

“An actress, Noel. I want to be a very good actress.”

We filmed that scene three more times. Rada had to film the rest of the shots naked, but she didn’t mind. Only thing that bothered her was how cold the stone under her ass was. After each time she’d get up, put herself back together, and we’d go again. I’d never filmed for so long before, not for one of Noel’s films. The sun was coming up when Noel finally said we were done.

I was about to leave when Rada stopped me. “Can I see?” She asked, snuggling into the shirt she’d stolen from Tommy.

Swallowing, I let her have the camera and rewound to the final time we filmed, which Noel had said was going to be his best work yet. She watched silently, nodding approvingly as Tommy tore out her heart and squeezed the beating organ in his hand. “My expressions are believable?” She asked.

“Does it really hurt you?” I asked.

Rada nodded. “It hurts like it would if it would kill me. But like I said, I want to be an actress. Will I be famous in these films? I can change if the director needs me to be a different girl.” She looked so eager for my response.

“… In certain circles, you’ll be a star.”

I left that day and never went back. I never picked up Noel’s phonecalls. Charlie was as good as dead to me. I cut my lease early and am now living back with my parents in Ohio. I think I’ll be going back to school, go into something less bloody like accounting. My mom always wanted me to be an accountant.

I never want to film anything again. Especially one of Noel’s films.

I wonder if Rada’s starring in all his movies now.

#my stories

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tuiyla · 1 year

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what do you think santana’s coming out would have been like if she hadn’t been outed?

Oh man that's a question and a half. I was legit so thrown off by that. Not in a bad way! Always appreciate Santana questions, always. I just spend so much time being mad about what actually happened and being absolutely appalled by Glee dropping the ball this badly, it's hard to even approach the topic without that in mind. Even while thinking about this I caught myself wanting to curse the canon events out multiple times. But I'll show restraint and pretend, for a few blissful minutes, that season 3 doesn't exist the way it does. This post is going to be more of what I would have liked to see instead of what realistically could have happened because Glee lost out on my willingness to care about their established boundaries when they vomited The Outing scene onto my screen.

In my ideal world, Santana would have been allowed the baby steps she deserved. Sure, she was way deep in the closet in season 2 but by the end we see progress. She's so clearly isn't ready yet and that's fine, in this timeline we're not pressuring her in any way. It's early season 3 and she and Brittany are officially together but only they know it. It's a bit of an open secret in the Glee Club, too, but everyone, and I mean everyone knows better than to think it's any of their business. Around the time of one of the the Troubletones rehearsals Mercedes catches Brittana making out and Santana freaks out, initially. Brittany reassures her that Mercedes is their friend and it's fine and later we get a Sancedes scene. Santana at first tries to deflect but Mercedes lets her know that she isn't there to judge or anything, she just gives the advice that Santana would be happier if she embraced herself and all that usual Glee speech. After the Troubletones WRONGFULLY lose Sectionals and Quinn gets the girls back and Santana sees how ND welcomes them with open arms, she makes a decision.

It feels safer to make a public Glee announcement first. They sing a duet with Brittany and Britt does the talking because Santana is more comfortable letting the song (Melissa Etheridge's Come to My Window, maybe?) speak for her. No one is shocked but they're all supportive, especially the people who matter (*cough* the girls and Klaine *cough*). Will tries to make a speech, blah blah, it's just a wholesome scene. Ideally a Kurtana scene follows because this is my headcanon I do what I want.

Now people who already sort of knew are in the clear but it's limited to the Glee Club and none of them blabber to other students, particularly not in the hallway because they're good people who love and support Santana. Based on Santana's heartbreaking "I haven't even told my parents yet" I'm going to choose to infer that she was thinking about it. She's terrified and needs a Pierce family dinner, together with a supportive Whitney and Pierce Pierce to convince her she's ready for this. We get to see the actual scene, around Christmas time, with Gloria Estefan and Dr. Lopez and it's emotional but cathartic. They're with Santana, no matter what, though her dad does have an ominous line about Alma. Not in a rude way but in a way when a parent fears what might await their kid. Santana staunchly refuses the subject of Abuela and asks her parents not to say anything to anyone.

The school year goes on. Valentine's Day comes around and following some homophobic shenanigans at McKinley and Figgins revealing the same double standard as he did in Heart, somehow, Santana decides to take a stand. She kisses Brittany very publicly in school one day and maybe we do get a slightly altered version of the Heart God Squad storyline. Except she gets to beat up Joe because I said so. All is relatively well. Santana and Brittany are now practically out to the school and Santana shows concern every now and then, but she feels lighter. This timeline actually deals with the fact that she wouldn't suddenly have no fears about being out and jerks exist, but it's easier that she did it on her own terms and not through a political ad.

Regionals rolls around and Dave is outed. I'm sorry David in this timeline your fate is unfortunately still the same. We get the attempt but thankfully Dave survives and recovers. Santana visits him in the hospital, they have a conversation and it makes her realize that life's too short to be terrified of who she is. The final puzzle piece in this portion of her coming out story? Abuela Alma. And so Santana goes to her grandmother, tells her about having had time to reflect and the coming out goes much the same as it did in the only valid IKAG scene. And Alma rejects her much the same, breaking Santana's heart and causing her to lash out at the people who have been supporting her these past few months. After the initial shock of just having been disowned, she picks herself up and thinks about Dave and how she can't let others' opinions of her define her life. Santana's clearly shaken from the experience and it gets brought up time and again but she marches on.

Santana starts college and decides she's going to be upfront from the first moment on. She tells people about her girlfriend, how proud of her she is, how much she loves Brittany. When they break up, the strength fades as Santana already wasn't feeling the whole Louisville vibe. Canon events ensue, and when she moves to New York she gets to truly just be herself and live her sexuality for the first time. That doesn't just mean sleeping around, thought some of that too. When she gets together with Dani and meets her cool queer friends, Santana feels at peace. It took a minute, but she's fine with casually dropping the word lesbian and introducing herself as, well, herself.

I know that last bit wasn't necessary for the coming out journey itself but it's good for my soul to think about. I can't say what I've written is tremendously exciting but imo it's what she damn well deserved. This didn't actually answer your question in that I don't think this is what would have happened; Glee demonstrated that they had no desire to follow through on Santana's story with the care it deserved. But it is what I'd like to think.

#anon #santana asks #glee asks #santana's coming out #no one has asked me this before which feels strange #but thank you for the opportunity anon #gleewrite

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