#19122023

[dailylagomorphs]

19/12/2023

#19122023 #353 #art #artists on tumblr #dailylagomorphs

[world-of-wales]

The Prince of Wales photographed in Kuwait as he visited the country to deliver condolences on the death of the late Amir, His Highness Sheikh Nawaf Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah || 18 DECEMBER 2023

#british royal family #british royals #royalty #royals #brf #royal #british royalty #prince of wales #the prince of wales #prince william #prince william of wales #duke of cambridge #Kuwait23 #royaltyedit #royalty edit #my edit #19122023

[8ightisfate]

#stray kids #bangchan #christopher bang #bubble #19122023 #pfp

[radosestalo]

i shaved only one leg

i shaved only one leg before the battery died. and i need to be more silent. i wonder what it would feel like to talk to no one for a week. to reconnect with myself. what would i discover? and my roommates, my best friends, they are very intense. i need to stay quiet to learn who i am. and to be able to recognise what i need. i’m gonna turn 23 in a week. it’s always a very strange time of year. a tiny nest of peace and silence in the chaotic madness.

and every year, i get closer, though i’m still in the beginning.

#19122023

[ultineeet]

Daily Nagoriyuki 19122023

#daily nagoriyuki #nagoriyuki #guilty gear

[spl884]

Daily Visual

19122023

#contemporaryart #digital painting #artistsforpeace #abstractart #electronic paintings #artists on tumblr #digital art #art

[oliviadeoctopus]

19122023 🦋

#bullet journal #bujo #journalblr #bujoblr #journal #planner #bullet journaling #stickers #genshin impact

[linicillum]

19122023

#l

[by-zaraa]

#19122023

عارفة كنجي هنا كلما حسيت براسي وبقلبي مزير عليا. ما عندي لمن نعاودمن غير سيدي ربي ومرة مرة نجي نكتب هنا. كندوز من ايام صعاااب شويا حاسة ببزاف ديال السترس. I wish there could be sth I can do to relieve my stress and all the negative feelings and ambiguity that's happening right now in my life. باقي الاضرابات وهوما السبب الاول فهاد السترس لكنعيش تقريبا شهرين ونص وباقي ما بان الفرج خايفة بزااااف من هاد الشي ليقدر يوقع وحاسة براسي حاصلة بين نرجع لخدمتي وبين منخويش بالاساتذة معايا وبين دوك التلاميذ لكتحسي براسك كضيعي وبتأنيب الضمير نوعا ما. كنتمنى الله يعجل بالفرج حيت نفسيتي عياااات بزاف والنفس باش ناخد كنحس بيه ثقيل. 💔 ( واخا هاد النظام قاسح على الاساتذة من غاع الجوايه وهاد الشي لكيخليني نفكر نبقا فهاد strike)

[8ightisfate]

#stray kids #felix #felix lee #lee yongbok #instagram #instagram live #19122023 #Youtube

[callmelexy]

A Tribute to my Mama Wound

19122023

Oh... Would you look at that... Alex's mummy issues coming to light. Or as i like to call it, my "mama wound" ala Bridgerton style. The laughs numbs the pain just a little bit.

I started my healing journey 2 years ago and it's been one hell of a ride. From discovering core beliefs to attachment styles, there have been many sides to me that needed to be broken down and rebuilt. Ending 2023 with discovering my mama wound seems fit. A very large wound that was largely unconcious. I mean, I knew i had mummy issues but i didn't know i had M U M M Y I S S U E S ...

Around the end of October, I had met a boy. Let's call him, Ten. Ten was a wildcard in my dating life. A 186cm stature but with a gentle heart. We had 4 dates and 1.5 months worth of texting. Overall, he was accepting of how anxious I was and handled my vulnerability like a gentleman. And maybe it was his gentleness that was the final catalyst to this awakening... A summary of the story is that he said on our 3rd date, "you seem very sure of me but I'm still on the apps"... That rejection hit me like a hammer but i managed to reason with myself. By the 4th date, we had kiss and I thought, 'there it is, this is it. This is the love I had been searching for'... Only to have the 'I think we should end this' 2 weeks after.

As the story usually goes, I lose my apetite, scroll through all the messages and try to pinpoint the issue. Some days were "it's a him problem" and some days were "it's a me problem". Little did I know the tornado that was about to erupt...

I had bought comedy show tickets one month in advance and of course, the situationship ended one week before that. I texted him to ask if he could still make it, he said no. That rejection was so big, i called up Natasha and said "there's no need for me to be this angry. Why do i feel like this?" and to my surprise, she replied "Let the tornado take over". As i conciously saw my mind spiral, i ran to my bed, plopped myself on it and cried.

This cry was different. It was as if all the years of feeling rejected by men accumulated in that one cry. I would equate the pain to one of Lily Potter when she was killed by Voldemort or when Wanda's grief created Westville. So painful i could feel my veins swelling in my head, so powerful it sent me into a full day migraine.

A day later, Natasha came over. We had lunch, did our nails and chilled on my couch. I turn to her, she looked at me and i knew... She's about to show me what i've been unable to see. Using my little squirtle figurines, she showed me my mother on a pedestal and how i have spent my whole life trying to bridge that gap. And because my mother can't love me the way I want to be loved, the wound remained opened. That wound, in my head, was like a dried up watering hole.

"You have been dating with this wound. A wound of unrequited love." said Natasha. With my usual 'huhs' and gasps, the memories of all the boys I've dated since I was 13 flashed before my eyes. How i go from a secure girl without them to putting them on a pedestal. How i unconciously, innately, believed... That if i keep giving and giving and giving, one day, you'd love me for it.

As I sat with that information, I noticed that that is what my father does for my mother. Give and give and give... but for my father, he has accepted his wife as she is. For me, however, I have yet to accept my mother entirely as she is.

All the years of therapy was for this moment as i inwardly looked at my childhood self and said... I'm sorry. I'm sorry you didn't receive the love you wanted or the attention you needed. I'm sorry generational trauma was passed down. I'm sorry mummy and daddy weren't there for you emotionally. I'm sorry you felt ignored and discarded. I'm sorry for all the unnecessary criticism you received. I'm sorry you had to morph yourself into a self sacrificing child only to receive small scrapes of love.

But to that lil girl, I also say thank you. Thank you for continuing to give love to those in your life. Thank you for developing compassion for your parents and family members.

However, sweet lil Alex, we will no longer place them on a pedestal ok? Now, we put ourselves first. Our safety, our well being, our everything.

Discovering this led me to finally letting go of the 8-year toxic relationship. I have no forgiveness for the manipulation and abuse I received but I do accept it has happened and I've finally let it go. I no longer look at dating or work the same either. I matter and through taking care of myself, only can i craft and continue to produce content I believe in.

The validation that my family and friends carry about me still matters but no longer larger than the validation I carry for myself. The love I have for them is still large but no longer larger than the love I have for me. And my mental pedestal? It's for Queen Alex from Alex Land.