#ALSO TECHNO AND PHILS GUILT AND DESPERATION AND HOW THEY FEEL LIKE THE FAILED AND RRRRRHGHGHHRH

[approximately12lbs-of-ducks]

COULD YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR EEAU?!!! I AM SO VERY CURIOUS!!!

I ABSOLUTELY CAN AHHHHHHH I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT ALWAYS. Premise is that after Dream blows up Logsteadshire, instead of leaving Tommy alone, he suggests to Tommy that they start over somewhere new. He leads Tommy to an even more remote location that this time no one knows about (not that Tommy’s aware of it) and after asking Tommy if it would be less painful if no one was allowed to visit him rather than having them constantly reject him by not showing up, and Tommy agreeing, he like. Bans people from visiting Tommy. This is not, however, what he tells the rest of the SMP - he actually doesn’t say anything for a bit because he’s busy destroying other teenagers lives (Doomsday also holy fuck i am so normal about eeau!tubbo or honestly just c!tubbo in general) but then after Doomsday of course Tubbo goes and discovers the annihilated Logsteadshire and like runs back and Dream insinuates that Tommy killed himself which definietly doesn’t devestate or at least shake up many people. But then people start talking and realize that like. Dream’s been manipulating and lying to them all this whole time and pitting them against each other. Philza in particular is like ‘why did we leave Tommy with the man who constantly expressed his dislike for him/set out to ruin his life’ and everyone was like . fair point. Queue manhunt for Dream where Dream loses his two lives and all of his allies and in a cruel twist of fate ends up with only Tommy for company!! Because stockholm syndrome babey :)))))) Plans backfired immensely for this man. (I did not forget about Punz well I did but then I figured out a way for him not to be there which is a WHOLE OTHER STORY basically Dream tried to manipulate purpled who went Nuh Uh and tattled to punz so punz fucked off and spat in dreams face on the way out)

QUEUE A YEAR LATER Ghostbur stumbles across Tommy in his secret exile spot (Henburgh) as Ghostbur has been searchign for Tommy’s ghost ever since he learned that he died. Eventually Ghostbur forgot he wsa looking for Tommy’s ghost and was just fixated on that he was looking for Tommy. Tommy however is scared of what Dream might do to Ghostbur/to him if he sees Ghostbur or finds out he was here, since he’s technically not allowed any visitors, so he sends Ghostbur away on an impossible quest. Ghostbur leaves him a small bit of blue that he then hides bc he can’t bring himself to throw it away, but unforunately nothing escapes Dream’s grasp for long and he notices :))))) It does not end well for Tommy, time for Logsteadshire pt 2. DURING THE TWO MONTHS THAT PASSED SINCE GHOSTBURS VISIT Wilbur is revived by Philza and Technoblade bc hella guilt and also Kristin hinted to Phil that Wilbur could come back and so Phil took the opprotunity. Wilbur however! Does not remember his time as ghostbur aside from very vague feelings and a couple blurry memories! But he feels VERY STRONGLY that there’s something important to the southeast of Techno’s cabin, and eventually that feeling grows so strong that he starts getting really anxious and upset about the fact he can’t go, so Techno offers to check it out fully expecting to find nothing. Only to stumble across Dream being HORRIFIC to Tommy during Logsteadshire Pt 2 and prompty going Oh Fuck No and bringing Tommy back to recover at the cabin.

Tommy does NOT appreciate this, and immediately demands to be taken back to Henburgh. Techno does not oblige. Tommy makes his displeasure clear but also mans now Traumatized as all hell so he also does jack shit to actually oppose the rest of the SBI. QUEUE FAMILY BONDING TIME AND SLOW HEALING. IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME AND EFFORT AND THERES OF COURSE MORE SHIT BUT I DONT KNWO IF I WANNA SPOIL IT CAUSE I AM WRITING THE FIC. But the main fic ends with Tommy having not fully completed his healing but having made progress in mending his relationships w his family and friends, specifically SBI and beeduo, and like starting to realize and come to terms that what he went through was wrong but it wasn’t his fault, and decide that he wants to fight to be better again. I’m definitely so normal about all of his healing arcs and the way he slowly starts to recover from his trauma and find himself again and discover that life is worth living and that love doesn’t have to hurt I’m really fucking normal. I could talk about this for hours I in fact have talked about it for hours with my sibling (shoutout to them for listening) there are so many details to all of this i thikn about it constantly I am packing so much symbolism into this baby it will be my magnum opus if i can ever fucking finish it

#the ducks quacked about something #a question!! :o #dsmp eeau #THE SYMBOLISM OF THE HOUSE THE SYMBOLISMMMMMMMMMMMMM #EACH OF THEIR HOUSES ARE VERY FUCKING IMPORTRANT AND SO VIVID TO ME #WHAT IT SAUYS ABOUT THEIR CHRACTERS. IM DEFINITELY CASUAL #also the way ghostbur was so bad about communicating but only agreed to be revived if they made revivebur care about completing the quest #tommy gave him (he did not explain it that way so they promptly did not tell revivebur but HE TRIED SO HARD TO NOT LEAVE TOMMY AGAIN) #EEAU WILBUR IS ANOTHER CHARACTER IM SO NORMAL ABOUT #wilbur and tommy really shaking hands on the affects of solitary isolation #oh also wilbur was in limbo for 50 years in this au due to the timeframe :)))))))))))) #he is an old creaky man #THE GUILT TUBBO CARRIES AROUND ALWAYS AND THE GUILT RANBOO CARRIES AROUND ALWAYUS AND THE FACT NEITHER OF THEM TALK ABOUT IT TO EACH OTHER #I just really cannot let people be happy huh #IT GETS HAPPY AT THE END COMMUNICATION OCCURS BETWEEN MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE #also we get awesamdad content but how we get it is kinda spoilers so i can’t explain rn T-T #ALSO TECHNO AND PHILS GUILT AND DESPERATION AND HOW THEY FEEL LIKE THE FAILED AND RRRRRHGHGHHRH #SBI are not bio family but all grew up in the same household as a family but Phil was not a great dad :)) but it wasn’t exactly his fault #hybrid shit vs human shit. he did not realize some of the differences #also how limbo works which i’ve talked a bit about before #ALSO THE DEITY SYSTEM WHIC I AM STILL FIGURING OUT AND ITS GIVING ME A HEADACHE #no dreamon activity in this au just dream being a shitty person because i think that holds more weight #dream is also so interesting me but in a villain character way #okay shutting up now which is so hard i have so much for this au i need to just WRITE IT #also i saw ur other ask it’s late for me but i absolutely want to draw that!!!! instant inspiration reading it #OH EDIT IMPORTANT NOT REVIVEBUR IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM CANON #HES MUCH MORE LIKE WILBUR BEFORE THE WAR(S) #hes chill and finallly on medication for his hella anxiety

[mcyt-imagines]

hi hi ! first off, just a tip if you'd like more requests/asks in general you should prob turn on anon since this is like the only time i've sent a non-anon ask. but anyways, i'm assuming requests are open and i'd like to ask if you would write either just ranboo fluff in general or something like the tommy confession headcanons but w ranboo :D what you've posted so far is great <3

Thank you so much for letting me know! I thought I had anon turned on already, but it’s 100% turned on now! Regarding your request I got a little carried away and wrote both some general fluff and some confession headcanons for Ranboo so this post is a little long... Hope you enjoy! :D

(It’s important to note that these headcanons are a combination of ones pertaining to his Minecraft character in the dsmp and him outside of the dsmp roleplay!)

General Ranboo Fluff

- Dreamsmp Ranboo -

The first time Ranboo cries in front of you is when you confess to him and he is so happy and relieved that you reciprocate his feelings. He even smiles through the pain of his tears as you panic to cover the skin beneath his eyes, so your hands catch his tears to stop the pain.

Ranboo likes to ask if you need any resources from time to time and once you finally give in and answer, he spends the rest of his day trying to collect as much of it as he can. This has led to a few incidents in which you came back to your shared indent in the snowy mountain to find a chest stacked full with polished stone and countless ores. You’ve scolded him but the way he responds with big puppy dog eyes wishing to “just be helpful.” Sets the butterflies caged in your chest free every damn time.

Ranboo in addition to asking you for want you want he is also very observant in noticing what you need. Any tools close to breaking? Brilliant, he’s already got three more of the same tools ready for you to grab when you need it. He also names them using the anvil to some silly super cheesy pet names.

One of his favourite things to do with you is stargaze. You both travel to the top of your snowy mountain and clear out a space free of snow to lie down and simply hold each other. Ranboo has started asking Techno (on the nights you are away) to point out the stars and tell him their corresponding stories. He happily relays all of this information to you in exaggerated detail, looking at you in awe as your expressions change with the twinkling lights above.

Ranboo almost always carries a little umbrella around with him in case it begins to rain. Most of his friends notice and all start to buy him some. He now has a full collection that line his wall just next to the door. It’s those small things that allows him to remember who his real friends are.

Ranboo LOVES having his hair played with. He will fall asleep within minutes of you beginning to tousle his hair as he rests his head in your lap. He may make soft enderman noises, but you don’t dare tell him. Content on keeping that little secret to yourself.

Ranboo has to be kinda careful around snow considering that if it melts it will hurt him. Meaning he has to sit out on any snowball fights that occur. And they occur more frequently than you would think. It usually starts with Phil throwing a rogue snowball at Techno when Phil notices him slumping his shoulders. Which means it doesn’t take long until it’s a full-blown war. You usually find yourself smack bang in the middle of it and have to dive down to avoid getting pummelled in the crossfire. Ranboo will call you over to hide behind Techno’s house. As the onslaught continues between the two. you giggle and commentate over the fierce battle together.

- Outside of Dreamsmp Ranboo - 

Ranboo enjoys watching you whenever you are focused on something. He’s incredibly observant and finds himself mimicking the small little nuances he sees you exhibit. He gets incredibly flustered whenever you notice that he’s picked up on them, but he doesn’t bother to deny it.

Ranboo finds himself staring at you a lot. He doesn’t mean to but he can’t help it. You catch him frequently, “Watching me real closely, hm?” He tries to stutter out an answer to defend himself, but you just smile and tell him it’s okay.

Ranboo finds a lot of comfort in doing ‘domestic’ activities with you. However, one of his personal favourites is when the two of you go out to get groceries together. His mum will give him a small list and he’ll try his best to dawdle around the store whilst swinging your intertwined hands to make the visit as long as possible. It makes him think of a future in which the two of you get to do this every single week and that alone warms his heart.

Ranboo always has to be near you, he doesn’t have to be physically touching you but he prefers to just be stupidly close to you. It always makes you laugh when he sits just close enough to you that you don’t touch, so now he has to do it forever.

Your laugh is one of his favourite sounds. To the point that if you giggle or laugh at something, he will just keep doing it over and over again for as long as you keep laughing at it. Which eventually leads to the both of you red-faced and gasping for air.

Ranboo is a terrible cook. But he tries so hard to follow recipes and they always flop. He also for some reason, cannot attempt cooking without making an utter mess of himself. Whether it’s spilling flour all over himself, getting egg yolk splatter somehow in his hair or just spilling copious amounts of milk on the floor so that he slips. This boy is a walking, talking kitchen DISASTER. So now he can only cook with you supervising him. Which turns out, wasn’t as much of a punishment as it should have been. As your tutelage seems to have slightly improved his cooking skills. However, now you also get flour spilt all over you as well.

Ranboo Confession Headcanons

- Realising he likes you - 

Ranboo denies he has feelings for you at first. Believing that you’re just a good friend whose company he really enjoys. But the more he focuses on your friendship the quicker he realises he would prefer if you were more to him than that.

This thought alone sends him into a little bit of a spiral for a few days. Grappling with the thought of rejection and the guilt he would feel if he ever hurt you.

He spends most of the time grappling with his feelings he continues to try and act as normal as possible around you. You finding out would be his worst nightmare.

Ranboo realises he has absolutely no history in the dating department and desperately needs some guidance. He may ask Phil on a whim who would try his best to give the poor panicked boy some words of wisdom. Ranboo takes the advice to heart immediately, promising Phil he will update him on how his feelings for you turn out.

Ranboo finds himself writing about you in one of his many journals. He finds putting words on the page seems to help clear his mind. He tries to script his confession a few times. Desperately floundering to find the right words, but he always seems to fall short. He usually ends up scribbling all over those pages until you can barely tell someone had even written on them. Hoping to somehow erase the thoughts in the process.  

He even tries drawing you a few times when he finds himself with enough spare time. He doesn’t think they’re any good though. Sure, the sketches look like you, but they don’t make him feel the way you do. When he looks at the page his chest doesn’t tighten because of your beauty, but instead because of the way you’ve made him feel. Which he comes to the sad conclusion is something he simply cannot capture in his words or his drawings. He has to show it through his actions. Not exactly his strong suit. But he’s determined to do right by you. So, he devises a plan.

- Confessing to you - 

This boy plans the whole day down to a t, he has multiple back-up plans just in case his first one falls short.

Ranboo invites you over for lunch. Arriving at his place you notice how clean it is. He spent the last few days cleaning it top to bottom.

You spend a few minutes in the house chatting. You notice Ranboo is on edge almost immediately. Shoulders a pinch too tight, his smiles a little too wide and none of them reach his eyes.

You ask what you’re going to be having for lunch and he reveals a wicker basket from his kitchen. “A picnic!” Your heart warms, “I would’ve brought something if you’d told me beforehand.” He smiles at that, “Exactly. I even cooked without you, you should be proud.” 

He shuffles on his feet a little, wishing to be praised, “We’ll see how the food tastes first, maybe then I’ll tell you how proud I am.” You tease, moving to elbow him lightly. You notice the way his face flushes as you move into his space. His mother appears from upstairs, “Are you two leaving? I could drive you, y’know!” “No thanks mom!!” He is quick to grab your hand and practically drag you out of the house and away from his all knowing mom.

The bus ride is on the longer side and you find yourself feeling brave enough to scoot a little closer to Ranboo. “Hey, is it okay if I?” You gesture between your head and his shoulder, the cute, shocked expression he sends you causes you to grin. “Uh s-sure!” 

You softly press your head against his shoulder, “Thanks, pretty comfy shoulder you got here should’ve asked you to share it sooner.” You tease, nuzzling his shoulder lightly just for a reaction. And you get one alright, his skin goes such a lovely shade of red all the way up to the tips of his ears. You giggle softly, trying your best to hold it in and failing miserably.

You even manage to fall asleep despite your own heartbeat quickening at Ranboo’s closeness. You are tapped awake by him, “Hmm?” You rub one of your eyes knowingly appearing adorable and the way he looks at you makes it all worth it. “It’s our stop soon, we gotta get up.” 

You nod and lazily stand and he follows suit. Only for the bus to brake abruptly, promptly shoving you into his chest. He wraps his arms around you quickly to steady you whilst you desperately cling to the wicker basket, “You okay?” You both mumble to each other before laughing it off and nodding. “Oh crap.” Ranboo grabs your free hand and you both scramble to get to the front of the bus to hop off. Sparks fly up your arm at the extended contact, even as you jump off the bus.

Ranboo happily leads you to a spot he had picked out earlier in the month. A soft patch of grass below a large willow tree that now sways softly in the warm breeze. You set up your carefully packaged feast with haste now that your stomachs are grumbling.

Ranboo forcefully tries to make himself relax knowing you’ve probably noticed his tense state by now. But you choose not to push him on it, taking an educated guess on why he’s so stressed.

You are quick to compliment his cooking skills when he divvies out a freshly baked quiche.  Even though you know his mom for sure did most of the work. It’s the thought that counts. You hope that may snap him out of the stupor he seems to be in. However, no such luck.

“Hey Ranboo, do you want to talk about something?” Ranboo goes into full panic mode. He did not have a plan for you asking something like this. He thought you weren’t confrontational!! You watch as his expression changes rapidly. You look away, “You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay. I just thought you might want to-“ 

He takes one of your hands in his. Why is he doing this??? This isn’t part of the plan at all! “I…” His throat goes dry. All those hours obsessing over what he was going to say to you are sent out the window when he finally meets your eyes.

“I think I like you.” He hasn’t realised he’s even said it until its waaaaaay too late. Your eyes widen, you didn’t think he’d actually admit it to you. You squeeze his hand as you watch his eyes seem to lose focus, “I like you too.” He is silent for several long moments until he starts blinking rapidly, “Huh!?” The look of utter surprise on his face causes you to burst out laughing.

“Wait, wait, wait you’re serious?” He grabs your arm as a grin slowly starts to creep onto his face. “Sure am.” And as you meet his gaze you realise that his grin actually reached his eyes, for the first time in a long while. 

“So, you gonna kiss me now or what?” You tease as his face shines a dark red. “W-well I, uh-“ His stuttering only allows for you to sneak closer and press a firm kiss to his cheek. Somehow, he grows even redder and you sigh pleasantly. “My heart definitely made the right choice with you Ranboo.”

Meanwhile Ranboo is too busy freaking out over the fact that you weren’t even meant to find out he liked you until you were stargazing together later tonight. His plans are utterly ruined! But as you squeeze his hand again to bring his thoughts back into the present, he wonders that perhaps spontaneity isn’t such a bad thing sometimes.

~My ask box is always open if you’ve got any requests or just want to vent about the dreamsmp lore!~

#mcyt #ranboo #x reader #ranboo x reader #fluff headcanons #mcyt x reader #confession headcanons #mcyt imagines #mcyt headcanons

[soupsword]

Dream SMP - Fear/trauma response headcanons

Trigger warnings for discussions of trauma, abuse, depersonalization/dissociation

Tommy: we all know how Tommy acts when he’s scared. He gets defensive and angry and violent. It starts out just being rude, and it devolves into attacking people over the littlest things. He either does so to stop people from ever getting a chance to hurt him, or because he is so blinded by his fear and anger that he believes they deserve his anger. He’s been raised to know that if he shows weakness, it will be taken advantage of. And, with his time being vulnerable towards Dream during exile, he’s only become acutely more aware of this.

Post prison Tommy: he’s given up on most of that anger. He will tell people, straight up, that they are scaring or hurting him, without a care. He’s been shown that being angry does nothing but get him killed, and he is trying to be more submissive now, condense himself into someone people will want to kill less. We still see his anger and his violent nature, but it’s been toned down, because he has been traumatized beyond anything he has EVER experienced.

Tubbo: people don’t seem to realize, but Tubbo has a past linear to Tommy’s. He’s been taught the same lessons, he’s just got different teachers, different abusers. He will be as angry and as violent as he needs to be, he’s just quieter. He thinks about his actions and their impact more than Tommy. But, that thinking about his actions can lead to overthinking. At times, he panics, still as angry or cold as ever, but his thoughts are racing. Is he doing the right thing? Is he failing his country? His friends? His family? He pushes past these worries, though, and makes split-second decisions at times. He is also more defense geared than Tommy, preferring to present his weapons and make his intentions to fight known before he has to strike.

Ranboo: he is the freeze and the flight. Ranboo has been taught that anger and violence lead to exile and death and destruction. He tries to be passive and to care for both sides of a fight, but it often backfires. He can be angry, yes, but he usually leaps immediately to overthinking and anxiety. This often sends him into a spiral of self hatred and anxiety. He wonders, parallel to Tubbo: is this what I should be doing? Am I even doing this? Am I here? Is this me, are these my actions?

Techno: Techno is so much more careful than most. He doesn’t start with anger. In fact, he often pushes himself into depersonalization or brain-fog in an effort to become colder, to force himself to understand situations like an outside force, not himself. This can lead to him seeming like he doesn’t care. This can also lead to him spiraling into dissociation episodes, where instead of being detached, he feels completely unreal. But, if pushed, he will get angry. He’s not the good man to run away from when he goes to war. He IS the war, cold and calculated and roaring with a thousand voices. He plans his attacks on the fly and he wins.

Phil: Phil is old. He’s grieved thousands of people, his loved ones, his friends, his families. Phil is so chock full of things that would traumatize normal mortals that it almost becomes a game to him. Fly a little closer to the sun, Icarus. Let the blade fall a little slower, Angel. He’s not reckless, but he toys with the idea. He often dissociates the same as Techno, spending days in silence after something has triggered some long past trauma. But oh, if you get him angry? You’d better kill yourself before he reaches you. In the moments he gets mad, he’s like Tommy, like Techno, like Tubbo. He’s steely and cold and violent, and his reputation has been forged from blood.

Wilbur: Mania. He is everything at once - sad, fearful, cold, angry. He switches from being terrified of something to being angry at it an instant later, manipulating the people around him into doing what he wants as soon as he realizes how to change himself for them. But he also suffers horribly from depersonalization. His actions have no meaning, right? He’s not even alive! He’s not even real! It doesn’t matter. He is self destructive and violent in general, not caring for anyone it affects until his rare moments of lucidity. When that fog clears, though, and he recognizes what he’s done? He falls apart. There’s no energy left for anger or manipulation or hate. Just awful, pervasive, desperate misery and guilt.

Feel free to add on or argue with me! Just wanted to ramble a bit.

#fanfic #fanfiction #mcyt #tommyinnit #Wilbur spot #Philza #Philza minecraft #Tubbo #Ranboo #technoblade #dream #dream was taken #dream smp #ao3 #dream smp headcannon #dream smp idea #dream smp headcanon #dsmp headcanon #dsmp headcannon

[pandoraborn]

BORN TO RISE

Chapter Six || AO3 link Word count: 2669 words Content: Injuries, unconsciousness, backstory, found family, mild blood, heart-to-heart

-------------------

Sitting in silence is one thing when the person he’s sitting with is unconscious, but sitting in silence when Dream has been staring at him for the past hour is something massively uncomfortable, and Tommy has no idea how long he’s able to keep up the silent treatment for.

To Dream’s credit, he hasn’t tried to force Tommy to speak since his outburst, but Tommy can feel that stare boring a hole through the nape of his neck, and the sheer discomfort of it all is causing his hair to stand on end. He wants to turn around and tell Dream to go back to sleep or close his eyes, but that would involve talking, and Tommy is still feeling anger and guilt inside

Instead, he pokes at the fire, trying to shut out any thought that would make him feel sick to his stomach, and instead focuses on the pain he’s still feeling. Everything still aches, but at least he can deal with trying to tend to himself instead of actually confronting Dream.

Evidently, that’s not good enough for the speedrunner. Tommy can hear Dream shifting behind him, grunting in pain as he moves around. The grunting is cut off with a sharp intake of breath, followed by a quiet yelp. Tommy whips around to stare, instinctively wanting to drop his own tantrum to help Dream, but when he sees the man curled up on his side, Tommy turns back toward the fire, ignoring the way his neck cracks at the movement.

“Tommy, are you okay?” Dream finally asks. He sounds broken. Far more broken than Tommy is. Dream should be recovering, he was unconscious for longer than Tommy was; there’s no telling how severe his injuries are. Slowly, Tommy turns back around to stare at him. In the flickering fire, he can see how messy Dream looks. The guy has bruises up and down his face and neck, and Tommy can only imagine many more underneath his shirt. Dream’s bleeding, too, with one eye swollen almost shut. He’s clutching his hip, breathing raggedly as if every breath is causing him more pain than he deserves.

“Please say something,” Dream whispers. “Please say something to me so I know you’re okay.”

“Physically or mentally?” Tommy asks. He turns back to poke at the fire. He’s debating putting more food on the flames, but they barely have any mutton left. Whatever they have, they’re stuck with until they either find their way out or get help. He wonders if Bad left when he realized Tommy was gone, or if he knows what happened. Tommy has the feeling he and Dream really are alone.

“I’m hoping both,” Dream admits. “Physically first, then maybe mentally?”

“Physically, not great. I feel like I broke every bone in my body, I’m stuck in a ravine with a puny fire as our only source of light, heat and food. Mentally? Not so great, though I’m pretty sure you already know why.”

Tommy doesn’t mean to sound so snarky. He feels bad for sounding so snarky, but he isn’t going to apologize for the words alone. Dream needs to hear it.

“Did you mean what you said?” Dream prods. “About how being my friend isn’t worth it?” Damn it, he sounds downtrodden. Tommy lets out a groan as he squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t want to have any part of this conversation, he doesn’t want to keep talking, he just wants to go back home so he can sleep in a warm bed.

“I don’t know anymore,” Tommy growls. He turns back to face Dream. “You dragged me out against my will, Dream. I’ve no clue what I’m supposed to be doing, or even where I’m going. I wake up from a nap and you’re stood over my bed, telling me to run. I can’t even tell Bad you’re there, I just run because the alternative is you slicing my head off with a sword. I don’t want to be a speedrunner or a hunter, not if this is what’s going to happen every time.”

“This was a fluke. It was supposed to be a lot smoother than this.”

“A fluke? Dream, you and your team kidnapped me. You’re calling an intentional act a fluke?” Tommy laughs in disbelief, only to double over as his chest burns with the action. “I’ve no idea where you’re from, but where I’m from, people don’t kidnap people and call it training. I’ve never done any sort of speedrunning before, I don’t know how it works, and I especially don’t know why you think it ties into the stupid championships. I just want to go back home, alright?”

He hates the expression on Dream’s face. Dream actually looks heartbroken, the pain is evident on his face. Tommy feels a tinge of regret, which he pushes down. He doesn’t want to rein in his impulsive nature, he doesn’t want to deal with the possibility that he went too far. He wants to continue to feel justified.

“I’m sorry, Tommy.” Dream forces himself upright again, swaying slightly with dizziness that Tommy is too familiar with. “You’re right. I didn’t think things through, I just saw a chance to take you under my wing and give you what I thought was a gift. I should have talked to you beforehand.”

“What did you and my dad talk about? Why did you get Phil to agree to it in the first place? He never would’ve agreed to it otherwise.”

Dream nods. “You want the whole truth then?” He doesn’t wait for a response before launching into speech again. “I couldn’t stop thinking about how you took us down during the last championship. You were quick, you were in charge, and you pulled off a really cool move. I’ve been studying you in past championships too, and you’re just. I don’t know, you’re definitely taking after your family. I guess I just wanted to take this talent and help it grow.” He sighs, rubbing at his face. “As for your dad, I just told him I wanted to help. He only agreed under the condition you weren’t permanently hurt or killed.”

“Guess you failed that then, didn’t you?” Tommy snarks. He ignores the wince from Dream. “Look, I get you were coming from a good place, but I’m not cut out for this.” He waves vaguely around the area. “We’re in a tiny cave, it’s the middle of the night, and there are zombies and creepers everywhere. I haven’t even had time to craft a sword or armor. I don’t have the same training or know-how you all have. I’ve only been at this for about a year, and I only agreed to it because my dad and brothers wanted to compete as a family.”

“Do you really have that little faith in yourself?” Dream asks. “You’re better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

“I’m one of the youngest competitors,” Tommy admits. “Not many people take me seriously, and even when they do, I still have to shout or talk over people to be heard. Sometimes it sucks the fun out of competing.”

“I take you seriously,” Dream whispers. “I’m serious, I’ve seen you in action, and I think you honestly have what it takes. Maybe a little too eager to prove yourself, but you’re skilled. You’ve got the leadership skills too. You can be a champion without your family overshadowing you, and with more discipline, you could be a speedrunner. Or hunter, or even both. You don’t...I dunno. I’m just sorry.”

Tommy doesn’t know what to say to this. He hasn’t even heard these words from his brothers yet. Phil is one thing, but Tommy had always chalked it up to the man fake-praising him to keep Tommy close. Techno and Wilbur had never said anything like this, as far as he remembers. So hearing it from Dream of all people, someone he’d always looked up to, is new and… honestly painful.

“Did I tell you I’m adopted?” Tommy asks.

“I haven’t heard much about that. You don’t have to elaborate if you don’t want to.”

“I was twelve, alright? Phil had already adopted Techno and Wilbur at that point, like a couple years before-hand. He wanted me too, for some reason. I wasn’t anyone special, I hadn’t competed. I played some shit in my area of town, but they weren’t huge, just a bunch of city kids getting together and pretending we were something bigger.” He shrugs. “I wanted to pretend I was cool and that I had some sort of place to go.”

“So how did Phil come into the picture?”

“I don’t know. He came to the home I was in, and picked me out of the crowd. Said he’d seen me in the games and thought I had potential. Also said I would bring stability to his home, whatever the fuck that means. Could’ve been worse though, he could have not adopted me at all.”

“You think you were only brought on because you would round out his team?” Dream frowns. “I don’t think that’s it, Tommy, I think he genuinely-”

“I know he cares!” Tommy clenches his hands into fists. “I know he cares about me, I know my brothers care about me. The problem isn’t that I don’t want to compete, the problem is I want to make them proud of me. Fuck, Dream. I’m useless. Techno and Wilbur are always going on about how I’m annoying, I need to shut up, this and that. You’re the first person since I was twelve to tell me you believed in me. Phil doesn’t even tell me that.”

He’s not going to cry. He refuses to cry. He doesn’t want Dream’s pity or comfort, not when they both desperately need a trip to the hospital. Yet, tears are springing to his eyes anyway, and his throat is tightening.

“Why don’t they tell you that? I was under the impression you’re a happy family.”

“We are.” Tommy turns away to hastily wipe his eyes. “Under normal circumstances, yes. But it’s not like we’re showing it at every turn. I just...I just want to know I’m not a complete failure. I don’t want to hear it from you, I want to hear it from them.”

There’s a long silence. Tommy knows Dream doesn’t know how to react, and that’s okay with him. He’s done more than enough talking to last him all night, Tommy just wants to keep the fire alive as long as possible. He lays the last two pieces of mutton out next to the fire, ignoring how the smell of meat is making him queasy, rather than hungry.

He’d meant what he said, too. He knows his dad and brothers love him, he knows he’s gotten pretty lucky in terms of having a good home, a good family, and a good life ahead of him. Tommy wonders if that’s why he’s been so reluctant to play along with this training session from the get-go; the people who matter aren’t around to see him succeed, they won’t be around to tell him what he desperately wants to hear.

Not that he wants to show off, either. If he were to be honest with himself, and he’s letting himself be completely honest now- he would say that this is exactly what he wants. He wants to win, he wants to compete. He wants to be a hunter, a speedrunner, he wants to stand in a hall of fame somewhere, with a medal. Tommy wants his dad to look at him with pride.

He wants to hear Techno and Wilbur cheering for him.

Dream had been right; this training session is a rare gift, and Tommy had squandered it in all the worst ways. Moreover, he’d blamed Dream when this should’ve been his chance to do things right.

No, they’d both fucked up.

“Whenever we get out of here, I’ll take you home,” comes Dream’s faint response. When Tommy turns to look, Dream’s laying down again, eyes barely open. Wait, that’s not a good sign. “I messed up and I should give you the chance…”

“Dream, Dream wait.” Tommy scrambles over, ignoring the way his body screams at him. “Don’t pass out on me, I’m cooking food, see? Dream, I need you, please don’t-”

There’s no response. Tommy can shake Dream as hard as he needs to, but Dream is unconscious again. A new, nauseating wave of panic crashes over Tommy like a tidal wave, with him realizing he’s on his own again. He waits a few seconds, silently counting to twenty before he springs to action.

He kicks out the fire. The meat is accidentally kicked into the ashes, promptly forgotten about. Tommy grabs whatever he can salvage, which isn’t much. He doesn’t really need anything anyway.

The headsets are useless, but the few torches he has, along with the pickaxe, are grabbed. The last thing on the agenda is Dream.

With great difficulty, Tommy hoists Dream up and throws him over his shoulder. Tommy’s crying tears of pain; this is complete agony for him. Everything about this hurts, but he’s not going to let them die down here, not when Dream needs help. If the headsets are broken, surely the respawn chips are busted as well, which means he needs to dig his way out. Otherwise there’s no hope for either of them.

He retreats further into the cave and starts digging upward. It’s a slow, painful process, but Tommy’s keeping his family in mind. He needs to think about them, and how proud they could be of him. Against all odds, he’s coming out of this in one piece instead of giving up. Tommy’s never been a quitter, and he’s not going to start now.

“I’m a speedrunner,” he mutters to himself. Scabbed wounds are re-opening, his muscles are screaming at him, but he’s pushing himself. “I’m a competitor, I’m a winner. Phil will be proud of me, Wilbur will be proud of me, Techno will be proud of me.”

The ground is disappearing. Tommy can only see darkness above him as he digs into the ravine wall, slowly making his way up. The process feels like it’s taking hours upon hours, but moving is easier when he’s not stopping for a breath. He can’t afford to take breaks, not when he’s so close to the surface and freedom.

He continues his mantra, sweat and tears blurring his vision. His grip on Dream and the pickaxe are weakening, which makes him cling tighter. He can’t risk dropping Dream now, not when the man is already so weak as is. Tommy wonders if he’s still unconscious.

“I’m a speedrunner-”

“Tommy?” That sounds like George. Tommy mines another block away until something softer than stone gives, nearly causing him to slip.

He’s hit dirt. He punches through it, only to be met with someone on the other side grabbing his wrist, and another pair of hands pulling away at the grass and dirt nearby. The result is a sunrise staring him in the face. Blinking, Tommy looks up to see Sapnap, Bad, and George staring down at him.

They immediately grab at him and Dream, pushing Tommy down and checking him over. Distantly, Tommy can hear the sound of a helicopter, but he’s too disoriented and exhausted to really understand what that means. Now that he’s not moving, he can feel himself slipping into darkness.

“Dream-” he tries to say, but George shushes him.

“Tommy, it’s okay. You’re okay, you’re both okay. We’re going to get you both out of here, just rest. We’ve got you.” George sounds so worried, Tommy wants to tell him he’s fine. He wants to brag about how he got Dream out of there all by himself, with no one’s help.

He doesn’t get a chance to. When he finally succumbs to unconsciousness, his dreams are of him standing on a platform facing a large crowd, with his dad cheering the loudest for him.

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