#Alyx Shepard

[banmitbandit]

none of them are paying attention to the mario kart are they :/

I took part in the Priority: Discord Secret Santa and ended up getting @bluerose5! She wanted Game Night With The Boys so I have given her Game Night With The Boys.

Alyx... my beloved... My everything... I would die for u.

#Mass Effect #Alyx Shepard #bluerose5 #Commander Shepard #Garrus Vakarian #Tali Zorah Vas Normandy #Thane Krios #Shakarian #Shali #Shrios #Shakarios #Shalibrations #is there even a ship name for shep tali and thane and all four of these #Shalibratios?? #u know what lets go with that #shalibratios

[messydiabolical]

In the extended Shepard metaverse, @bluerose5's Alyx and @angstyastro's Isani share a moment <3

#mass effect #commander shepard #Alyx Shepard #themshep #Isani Shepard #femshep #MD art #mass effect fan art #Shepard metaverse

[bluerose5]

Stargazing with shavik??? Pretty please??

Love them! Just a couple of soldiers in a post-war galaxy. 🥺

~~~

There came a time in life when the war ended.

The soldiers came home, laid down their weapons, and took a breath.

For once, the impossible seemed possible. Species all across the galaxy banded together. All of Commander Shepard’s hard work finally paid off, and that unity survived into the aftermath of the Reaper War. Recovery efforts were extensive; but for the first time in a long while, hope persevered.

There would come a time when Shepard’s help would be needed again. Of that, they were certain.

And when the call came, they would answer.

For now, however, they were going to enjoy the peace while it lasted.

Calloused fingers reached out at their side, brushing lightly along the tips of tall grass. Each blade danced in the cool, evening breeze, their color slightly washed out in the darkness of night.

Echoes of the past whispered through each individual blade of grass, the effects of the Cipher growing stronger with each passing day. Slowing to a halt, Alyx let their eyes slip closed, and they listened.

Flashes of memories played out like scenes out of a movie. Children chased flying insects native to the area. Young lovers sprinted through the fields with breathless grins. Fires roared while the geth trampled past the destruction left in their wake. Ghosts of an empire cried out as their home was annihilated.

Alyx hadn’t even realized they were holding their breath, not until they felt fingers brush against their own.

They inhaled sharply, and fresh air brought in a rush of oxygen along with it, causing their head to spin.

The memories they could sense around them were replaced with familiar ones, most of them equally as chilling, but familiar nonetheless.

Alyx opened their eyes to stare at Javik.

It was still so strange, seeing him outside of his armor, experimenting with different styles from various species. Civilian attire suited him, though, especially the looser, lighter fabrics that he seemed to prefer.

In spite of themself, Alyx smiled.

Javik spared them a glance, lips parted.

“What?” he asked.

They immediately shook their head.

“It’s nothing.” He leveled them with a curious stare, so Alyx shrugged. “I was just thinking that this is where we first met.”

"That, it is," he replied, then snorted after a second. "Don't tell me you're feeling sentimental, Commander."

"And if I was?" they countered, never one to back down around him. "Would that be so bad?"

He considered that, fingers twitching.

"No, perhaps not." 

For the first time since Alyx knew him, everything about him was so gentle. His voice, his eyes, his touch.

When he reached out to take Alyx's face in his hands, Alyx surrendered to all of the emotions, thoughts, and memories exchanged between them. He traced every single detail, fascinated, and Alyx let him.

Eventually, he asked, "Tell me. What do people like us do when there is no war to be fought?"

A fair enough question. He had been born into battle. It was all he knew when he went to sleep, and it was the first thing he woke up to in a far-distant future.

Alyx knew a time "before" war, but their time on Earth sometimes felt like a battlefield in and of itself.

They placed their hands over his, stopping them in their path, and squeezed.

For that moment, he sounded so lost, and that feeling echoed through Alyx, both of them feeding into the feeling.

That didn't mean they couldn't at least try and make sense of the uncertainty.

"When the war is over, soldiers must find a new purpose," Alyx explained in a whisper. "Easier said than done, I know, but we have to keep going. We build a new life."

They glanced back over their shoulder, the lights from the colony twinkling like stars themselves.

"That's what Eden Prime has always been, right? A beginning and an end. A place where our old lives ended and our new ones began." They took a deep breath to steady the tremor in their voice. "It was where the Reapers' war on this cycle first started, so… I don't know." They gave a half-shrug. "I felt it was fitting to end the post-war victory tour here, to remember those lost."

Even then, off in the distance, they could hear celebrations in full swing. While there was still much to rebuild, scars that needed to heal, the colonists were more than happy to have a reprieve away from all the devastation that had been inflicted upon them, time and time again. They were given a chance to focus on all of the good that life had to offer, so they seized the opportunity.

They definitely earned the break, and then some.

"Figured this was our chance to put the past to rest," Alyx said. Hesitantly, they wrapped their arms around him, but Javik accepted the embrace without complaint. "Together."

Golden eyes stared down at them. For a split second, he glanced towards the colony, humming low in contemplation.

"Together," he said with a hint of finality. "But let's take a walk. You mentioned on the ride here that it's been a while since you've seen the stars from planetside."

"It has been," they stated, wrinkling their nose ever so slightly, "and Earth wasn't exactly known for its views when I grew up there. Too much pollution at the time."

Not to take into account its condition when Alyx was last there, but neither of them mentioned that.

Javik tugged them along instead.

"Then, let's go." He coaxed them away from all of the noise. "We're not going to see much this close to the settlement."

"Yeah," Alyx agreed, "although, if we want the full impact, then we have a long trip ahead of us."

"That's never stopped us before."

"You're right."

And it wasn’t going to stop them now.

They tangled their fingers together, and they set off into the night.

They lost track of time after a while, but that mattered little to them. They continued walking, hand in hand, no matter how many times they faltered.

Cybernetic scars split open Alyx's skin in little, web-like cracks, but they hardly felt as self-conscious about them now as they did when they first woke up after Project Lazarus. The violet lighting glowed, penetrating through the haze of darkness.

Each step forward revealed how Alyx favored one side while walking, a noticeable limp to their right leg that never really went away after the war.

Their right arm was completely prosthetic. Metallic at the moment, but it worked well enough for them.

There were scars from burns that never quite healed right, and pain always lingered, even if nothing more than a dull background noise.

Alyx coped with it as best as they could, took it all in stride, or so they let on.

It was their reminder of all that they had survived, the sacrifices that they made to get to where they were.

It was a reminder that they were still alive, that they got an actual chance to live.

Neither one of them said much throughout their journey, but the unspoken exchanges through touch said enough.

Once they reached the top of a hill that overlooked the main settlement, they came to a stop.

"Shall we have a seat?" Alyx asked, waving towards a spot on the ground.

Javik grumbled, but Alyx knew him long enough to know when he was about to start trolling.

"You mean you didn't bring anything for me to sit on? Unacceptable. I'll have you know that I do not need to settle for these types of condi—"

"Oh, shut up."

With a shove of their biotics, they knocked him onto his ass.

Before he could respond, they were already snuggling up to him, their back to his chest. As they squirmed their way in between his legs, they took his arms and wrapped them around themself, a smug smile upon their lips.

Javik huffed, disgruntled yet fond.

"I think you just like to push me around."

"I like to put you in your place," Alyx corrected, their expression coy. "'Pushing you around,' as you call it, is a part of that at times, but I certainly don't hear you complaining."

A lone grunt of acknowledgement, followed by a pointed silence, was answer enough.

Alyx snickered, nudging him lightly.

"Now, hush. Enjoy the view with me."

Not a difficult order to follow. Away from all the light and noise, the night sky lit up in delight. Stars came out of hiding and brightened for their audience, glittering like precious gems. 

Alyx mapped out that portion of the sky in their mind, seeking out familiar constellations with the eagerness of a child.

Even the soil held onto fragmented remains of those who came before, explorers that charted their course through the vast sea of space.

Perhaps that could be their new purpose. To explore, instead of fighting. Even the Milky Way still had a lot of untouched areas, ready and waiting to be seen.

All things considered, staring up at those stars reminded Alyx how small their corner of the universe truly was.

It might make their lives seem insignificant to some in the grander scheme of things, but Alyx thought that it emphasized the importance of their home all the more, to have so many willing to fight so hard to preserve the integrity of a speck of dust that was lost amongst the sandstorm.

Parting their lips, they released a shaky breath.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" they whispered.

"Yes, you are."

A solid beat passed before they fully processed that, startling even themself by laughing aloud.

"I meant the stars."

"Oh." He sounded extremely unimpressed compared to before. "Then, yeah, they're alright."

Alyx couldn't help but to grin, even as they rolled their eyes.

To think, they had traveled all over the galaxy, met so many people, but they found their solace in the arms of a Prothean. An alien outside of his time.

And while they might not ever be the types for grand gestures or flowery words, they had something that simply worked for them, and that was all that mattered.

Understanding, familiarity, belonging.

Alyx wouldn't trade that for anything.

Turning in his arms, they captured his lips into a kiss. They knew that it was still strange to him, to show affection in such a way, but he never hesitated to kiss them back.

Roaming hands quickly sought out bared skin, so many words communicated at once yet left unsaid.

Right now, they might feel like a couple of worn-out souls, left floating adrift on their own, but Alyx had faith in them. They'd find what awaited them beyond the uncertainty.

Even those lost at sea could one day happen upon a shore.

When the time was right, they wouldn't hesitate.

They would take that first step towards solid ground, towards stability.

And they would do so together.

#mass effect #mass effect trilogy #alyx shepard #themshep #genderfluid shepard #javik #shavik #bluerose answers #bluerose writes

[dinokiwii]

ykno what fuck it *cowboys all your protagonists*

#this is the last post I’ll make about it but #soldiertransgender mentioned cowboy adrian shepard and I had an idea #barney calhoun #half life #half life 2 #gordon freeman #alyx vance #adrian shephard #gina cross #colette green #hl #cowhoun #cowboy #I just think the whole debacle is silly #let’s all just get some beers together regardless if we think barney has a cow named nesquik or not #I hope nobody takes this the wrong way this is super lighthearted #my art

[daxdraggon]

did this meme of the HL chars in your style!

Replaced Breen with Chell because Chell.

#draggonart #half life #half life 2 #gordon freeman #alyx vance #barney calhoun #isaac kleiner #eli vance #the g-man #chell portal #adrien shepard #portal

[halflifegirlfriend]

do you like half life. do you like girlfriends...? do you wanna kiss barney calhoun on the mouth while he's covered in blood cause he beat a guy to death?? I have just the thing for you...

half life girlfriend bracket!!!

we put 24 girlfriends in a bracket and they will fight. the games start on March 20th, or Monday. Round two will be on the 21st, round three will start 22nd and the ultimate gf will be decided on the 23rd.

our contestants:

side A:

• Freeman (HL:classic) v. Freemind (Freeman's Mind)

• Barney (HL:classic) v. Barmey (Barney's Mind)

• Arlen (Arlen's Mind) v. Stark (Stark's Mind)

• Beauty (Gorgeous Freeman) v. Gman (HL:classic)

• Alyx (HL:classic) v. Breen (HL:classic)

• Eli (HL:classic) v. Mossman (HL:classic)

side B:

• Gina Cross (HL:decay) v. Colette Green (HL:decay)

• Heather (Freeman's Mind) v. Lauren (HL:blue shift)

• Eddie (Eddie's Mind/Freeman's Mind) v. Cicero (HL: Google Translate)

• Felix (Felix's Mind) v. Adrian Shepard (HL:opposing force)

• Chell (Portal) v. John Freeman (HL: Full Life Concequences)

• Kleiner (HL:classic) v. Just A CP Officer (HL:classic)

before you ask, hlvrai was ommited due to the fact that it would've just swept every other contestant. sorry benrey gf truthers.

this bracket is ran by @bloodinthebyaoi the ultimate girlfriend lover

#half life #hl #half life 2 #gordon freeman #freeman's mind #barney's mind #arlen's mind #tj arlen #issac kleiner #eli vance #portal #chell #alyx vance #gman #felix's mind #adrian shepard #freehoun #gina cross #colette green

[1stprototype]

Really nice artwork for the PC Gaming event tomorrow by https://twitter.com/tat2kid714. 

#doom #Kane #doomguy #command & conquer #Alyx vance #NCR Ranger #JC Denton #Commander Shepard #Ultrakill #Shodan #Big Daddy #Grim Fandango #Engineer #Team Fortress 2 #Max Payne #v1 #red prince #divinity original sin 2 #garret #thief

[mugenfinder]

Game Informer #212 (December 2010) For this issue, Game Informer published 3 different covers and picked 30 characters they believed defined 10 years of video games.

Full List of characters:

Cover Story: The 30 Characters Who Defined A Decade (GI’s picks for the top 30 characters from the past ten years) 1. GLaDOS (Portal) 2. John Marston (Red Dead Redemption) 3. Nathan Drake (Unchared series) 4. Master Chief (Halo series) 5. Niko Bellic (Grand Theft Auto IV) 6. Alyx Vance (Half-Life 2) 7. Kratos (God of War series) 8. Andrew Ryan (BioShock) 9. Loghain Mac Tir (Dragon Age: Origins) 10. Ezio Auditore da Firenze (Assassin’s Creed series) 11. Ethan Mars (Heavy Rain) 12. Commander Shepard (Mass Effect series) 13. Jimmy Hopkins (Bully) 14. Captain John Price (Call of Duty series) 15. HK-47 (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic series) 16. Elena Fisher (Uncharted series) 17. The Illusive Man (Mass Effect 2) 18. Tommy Vercetti (Grand Theft Auto: Vice City) 19. The Boss (Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater) 20. Tim (Braid) 21. Auron (Final Fantasy X) 22. Razputin “Raz” Aquato (Psychonauts) 23. Kaim Argonar (Lost Odyssey) 24. Jade (Beyond Good & Evil) 25. KOS-MOS (Xenosaga series) 26. Professor Layton (Professor Layton series) 27. Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney series) 28. Wander (Shadow of the Colossus) 29. Ronnie MacFarlane (Red Dead Redemption) 30. King of All Cosmos (Katamari series)

#Game Informer #2000s #videogames #Grand Theft Auto #Master Chief #Auron FFX #KOS-MOS #John Marston #Glados #Captain Price #beyond good and evil #game magazines

[mtsodie]

#hi #half life

[cathedralforlosers]

under hand tosses some tarot drafts at you sorry they're hard to look at i like to use the lightest colors to sketch and then boom i never finished them.

card explanation and choice reasoning under the break :)! Shout out google, i never learned to read tarot cards properly.

••The Tower (XVI), while upright can represent sudden change, chaos, and revelation- while reversed means personal transformation, fear of change, and averting disaster. It was between this, The World (XXI), and The Hanged Man (XII) but in the end it settled on the former for OG Mr Freeman. because honestly using the resonance cascade as a source of the 'chaos' to replace the burning tower was a vision that came to me in a fever dream.••

••The Moon (XVIII), upright represents danger, fear, anxiety, subconscious, hidden enemies, and reversed can represent release of fear, repressed emotion, and inner confusion. Honestly, it literally just screampt Feetman to me, based on how he really interacts with the science team and the environment around them.••

••The Magician (I), upright is all about resourcefulness, power, and capabilities, while reversed can mean poor planning, hidden potential and manipulation. To me, Freerun is just a fucking powerhouse. That man needs to go and he needs to go fast. In reality, it's all about repetition, mastering movement techs and perfectly timing everything down to the smallest pixel.••

••Temperance (XIV) upright represents balance, patience, and moderation, while reversed can mean imbalance, excess, self healing and re-alignment. In all honesty, he is more like Judgment (XX), but the thought of drawing him with wings lead had me crumbling. so. Freemercy Temperance be upon ye.••

••The Chariot (VII) represents control, willpower, success, action, and determination, while reversed represents self discipline, opposition, lack of direction, feeling powerless, and loss of control . And you might be thinking. Well. Doesn't a card like Strength (VIII), or even The Emperor (IV) make more sense for such a strong headed, stubborn guy? And you would be right. But what drove me to settle for The Chariot was the reversed meaning, specifically how powerless Freemind always seems to feel at every situation, and honestly who can blame him. Constantly fighting for control over every situation, the aggression that came with being backed into a corner. (<trying to justify why i didn't read too much into the emperor even though it's reversed meaning is literally perfect for freemind)

+++ some more that i hadn't really planned but man it would be cool

Gorgeous as Death (XIII) . death is not an inherently negative card. unrelated but . ultimate trans card too if you really think about it.

Don't know much about Cicero but i'm thunking.... The Sun (XIX)

Alyx would have also been Death (XIII) but in a different way from how Gorgeous is.

G-Man would be The World (XXI) and i will DIE on this hill. upright completion, accomplishment.

Barney Justice (XI) and i will die on this hill too. Upright fairness, truth, cause and effect. this guy is just fighting for good.

Adrian The Hanged Man (XII) catch me dying on these hills. upright pause, surrender, letting go, new perspectives. shepards path to start doing the right thing, his morals shifting during his time escaping black mesa. literally the hanged man card right there.

HLVRAI science team: Tommy would be the Sun (XIX), Dr Coomer would be The Star (XVII), Bubby would be The Devil (XV) no i won't elaborate, and Benrey would be Justice (XI) as well but different from Barney

#don't wanna tag this too much #cause it's just a bunch of yammering #with some hard to understand doodles #but please enjoy them #see my vision #freemanverse

[shitposting4squares]

half life theory

So I saw this conversation between two people on discord, “You know, I realised something In Half Life 1, Gordon, a physicist, is the most dangerous thing for the army that came to kill the scientists (edited) Not the aliens, not the tentacles coming out of the ground that gibs everything No Gordon fucking Freeman is the biggest threat there” “i mean only because hes supposed to approach combat in a methodical/scientific way, as apposed to the monsters and military, the whole tagline for the first game was "run think shoot live", the combat and environments are presented like a puzzle so in that way of course a scientist is goin to dominate” And it got me thinking, you know what actually makes Gordon so unstoppable? Cus i dont think it’s the whole being a scientist thing. For one, he's outfitted with super science gear like the hev suit and experimental weapons. But more importantly, he’s got a massive supply of miracle cures from another dimension. Gordon wouldn't matter for jack shit if black mesa hadn't set up medical centers full of xen healing goop every 20 feet that let him learn from his mistakes in ways no other human soldier had the opportunity to do up until that point. I mean in the regular military, you generally don't get the chance to learn from the mistake of being shot. You just get shot once or twice and you're done for. And as for the theory I developed from this... This healing goo situation could actually be a great reason why g-man would have had to wait a few years to release Gordon again. He'd have to wait until the ant lion healing goop became ubiquitous across locations Gordon would have to travel through, so Gordon could effectively use his skills to speedily rip through locations like a human bullet. Maybe even poke at the threads of fate to ensure Gordon would have recovery tools when needed. Essentially gman and his associates being a level design game developer making sure Gordon has suit chargers and healing goop whenever things get hairy. And with him encouraging the development of the black mesa action protagonist format that was potentially refined not just through Gordon, but with Adrian Shepard, Colette Green, Gina Cross, and Barney Calhoun as well.

Like Black Mesa coulda been an outstanding experiment and proof of concept for a somewhat omnipotent being of how to create human torpedoes if ya really think about it. Learning what sort of conditions lead to humans becoming absurdly lethal super soldiers within the span of just a few days, and how to optimize this process. Not just in the sense of the real life developers of half life learning and growing from the franchise. But g-man and his mysterious benefactors, canonically, in universe, using the events at black mesa and all it’s expansions and spin offs, as practice for the events of half life 2, alyx, and eventually someday half life 3. Just the typical videogame format of having a power and skill progression could take on a new meaning if ya look at it from an in universe context rather than just a pretext for fun gameplay. Instead consider it as a semi-omnipotent being, learning that if you put a human far enough from something you want destroyed, manage their increase of skill and power by putting them through progressively more difficult situations one after the other, with liberal access to resources and fast recovery tools. Then within 2-4 days you’ll be able to hit your enemy with a powerhouse super soldier that seemed to come out of nowhere and they had little opportunity to prepare against because of just how quickly these humans are able to go from zero to hero in optimal conditions. And even though not all of the black mesa event protagonists have been guaranteed to have have survived, so long as they're able to achieve a otherwise impossible goal before their death, they would still count as data towards refining the black mesa action hero method and being able to replicate it to use against the combine. Like if you think about it, each of the half life 1 protagonists could fit in nicely as tests/proof of concepts for different tasks, and different kinds of optimizations for these so called hero types. Like Gordon is solo act/jack of all trades, Collett and Gina are a co-op duo (potentially helpful data for when gordon and alyx would have to work together in the future), Barney is specialized for escort quests of non-combatants, Adrian is a squad leader of more combat focused types, and Alyx is a backup jack of all trades and test to make sure that the system of having a human run a gauntlet of challenges optimized for their growth still works effectively in a post combine world. Could probably even measure when these environmental conditions of having frequent healing and the opportunity for rapid skill progression that comes along with it really came together in the post combine earth, by how and when Alyx was able to become a near unstoppable human badass in her own spin off game.

#half life #gman #Gordon Freeman #Alyx vance #adrian shephard #barney calhoun #theory

[clericofshadows]

past meets present

Description: Regis runs into someone from the past while he and Zaeed are waiting for Kaidan to join them on their date.

Paring: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani

Note; Takes place a few years post ME3.

KA: Sorry loves, I’m going to be a bit late.  Meeting is running over with no end in sight!  

Regis checked his omnitool to see Kaidan’s message flashing at the top.  That explains why Kaidan hadn’t met them at Apollo’s, despite his usual promptness.

Regis glanced up at Zaeed, who also had his omnitool out.

“Sounds like we’re on our own for a while,” Zaeed said.  “That school keeps him so goddamn busy.”

Regis typed out a reply.  “Price he pays for not being on the station in person all the damn time.”

RS: Want us to go ahead and order?  We can wait for you. KA: Nah, don’t worry about it.  Don’t let me prevent you from eating.  Can’t have a grumpy Zee on our hands. ZM: I can see that. KA: I know :).  I’ve done enough chatting.  I can always ask you to get me something to-go.  It’s fine.

ZM: No, it’s not.  We’ll order as many goddamn appetizers as it takes to wait for you. KA: <3.

Regis took that as a sign he was done talking for now.  Zaeed reached over and grabbed Regis’s hand, lacing their fingers together on the table.  

The waiter–Alyx, if he remembered correctly, never being great with names–came back by, asking if they were ready for anything.  Regis went ahead and ordered them some fried chicken bites smothered with spicy peppers, and Zaeed opted for a platter of egg rolls and another beer. 

“Anything else, gentleman?” The waiter asked. “Usually I don't see just the two of you here.”

“We're waiting on our third.  He might be a while,” Regis replied, setting down the menu. “We’ll wait and order our usual when he gets here.”

“Of course. Just let me know.  I’ll go ahead and get those appetizers out for you.” The waiter left with a nod.

Zaeed finished off his first pint. “50 credits says this whole meeting could've been an email.”

“You say that every time.”

“So, are you taking the bet or not?”

Regis took a sip of his lemonade.  “No.”

“You’re no fun.”

Regis only smiled in response.  “You won’t be saying that later tonight.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes.  “Indulge me.  I know he loves this program, but how many times a month do we hear him bitching about the content of the meetings?”

“Price he pays for not being there in person,” Regis said again with a pointed look.  “Soon enough we’ll all be back on Arcturus, and I imagine then he’ll have no issues.  For now, this is the best thing they can do.”

“When did you get to be so diplomatic?” Zaeed snorted.

“I can think of a few reasons.” Regis started counting on his fingers to make a point.  “Galactic war and all the shit I had to deal with, post-Alpha Relay summits before Wren and Hackett got smart and used the resources I got for us, hmm… post-war summits and all that shit… Can I keep going or have I made myself clear?”

“Crystal.  I guess you’re right.  We really can’t complain.”

“Not unless you want to do long distance.”

“Rather not.”

The waiter came back with their appetizers, setting the plates down along with three small plates and another glass of Zaee’s preferred beer.  Nice little touch.  They hesitated for a moment.

“Something wrong?” Regis asked.

They pulled a face.  “Depends.  I know you typically like a quiet evening and all… but there is a woman over on the balcony inquiring about you.”

They were right.  Neither of them were particularly fond of the attention that lands on them at all times, although the luster had died down since the end of the war.  Still, there were fans who wanted to meet the great Admiral Shepard, and Regis always turned them down. He is not some prize to look at.

On the off chance it was something interesting… “Did she give a name?” Regis asked.

“She did.  Rahna Akar.”

Regis found himself dragged by… Kaidan?  Was that his name?  He was too distracted looking into his eyes, nothing but kindness and a beautiful dark brown full of warmth.  Either way, he was the one good thing so far out of this fucking place. “Come on, let’s meet more people!  You can’t hole yourself up in there all the time.  Let me introduce you to Rahna, she’s one of our dorm buddies.”

A blast from the past.  Interesting.  And Kaidan isn’t here to witness it.

Even Zaeed quirked an eyebrow at that.  Regis nodded, curious to hear from her.  “She’s fine to come over.”

“Oh?  Alright, I’ll let her know.”  They walked away.  Regis watched as they approached a table far from them, right next to the balcony. 

There was a woman sitting alone, clothed in a simple, but professional dress Regis sees often on the Citadel.  He couldn't make out her face just yet, but as she got up, he immediately recognized her.  Older, yes, but still the striking woman that was part of their friend group at BAaT.

Well, part of Kaidan’s group.  Regis took a lot longer to warm up to anyone that wasn’t Kaidan, still angry about not learning biotics from Vik. Still, his mother’s decision led him to Kaidan, and he can’t really imagine a universe in which he didn’t meet up during BAaT.  And through that, they met Zaeed.

Regis can’t really bring himself to be angry about it anymore, knowing what BAaT gave him in the end.

Rahna approached them, standing next to their table, glancing down at the empty chair.  “You’re looking well, Regis… or is it Admiral?”

“It’s Regis,” he said.  “How’s life treating you?” 

“Well, all things considered… When I saw you, I thought that…” she trailed off.  “Never mind.  I guess I shouldn’t ask for much after everything.”

She wanted to see Kaidan, not that he was surprised.

Regis shrugged.  “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.  Not really, anyway, if that’s what this is all about.”  He moved to grab an egg roll and a couple of pieces of chicken, pushing them onto his plate.  “This is Zaeed, our husband.  Apologies for not immediately introducing you two.”

He nodded at her but didn’t offer anything else in response.

“Yes, I thought I recognized him.  I’m Rahna,” she said, belatedly.  “I apologize for the intrusion.  If I caught you off guard, then you most definitely did for me,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Sit,” Zaeed said to Regis’s surprise.  “Kaidan was held up by something, but if you want to speak to him, now’s your chance.”

“Are you sure?  I don’t want to intrude,” she hesitated in her tone, but her hand already went to the chair.  “I’ve already eaten.”

Regis wanted to be a bit of an ass and say she already intruded, but he bit his tongue.  Zaeed seemed to pick up on it, though, hiding a grin behind his drink.  “Sure, go ahead.” “Thanks!” She brightened up, taking a seat.  Their waiter came back and asked if she needed anything.  She asked for a glass of water.

The atmosphere of the table was a bit awkward, Regis and Zaeed digging into their food while she waited for her drink, later sipping at her water after the water brought it by.  

“So,” she started.  “I guess you know everything, Zaeed?”

He nodded.  “We don’t keep secrets from each other.  I know what happened, every goddamn bit.”

“It’s been a long time since then,” she said, not quite meeting their gaze.  “We’ve… you’ve changed a lot since then.”

“Never thought the bratty angry kid could become the savior of the galaxy?” He asked but tried to keep it light.  It must’ve failed by the way she seemed to flinch a bit.

Probably not helped by his cybernetics.  He knows his glowing eyes are off-putting to some, and with his scars and general attitude, he’s not the nicest guy out there.

It also doesn’t help that Regis had a crush on Kaidan from the beginning and admittedly, never got on well with Rahna as a result of that.  He tried to be civil for Kaidan’s sake, but it didn’t always work out.

“Well, no–sorry–” she started, but Regis interrupted her.

“No, I’m sorry,” he sighed.  “I was a bitch during BAaT.”

“You really were,” she laughed, and Regis had to hold back a dark look.  “I swear I’ve never seen anyone so jealous.  Kind of surprised me to see your wedding pictures on the ‘net… hell, my husband immediately showed me the details.”  Regis held back a frown.

Married and with a spouse who knows at least some of the details from BAaT.

“You’re married?” Regis asked, not noticing a ring on her finger.  She was, however, wearing a necklace with the pendant noticeably tucked into her neckline.  Regis didn't think anything of it, often doing the same with his rings, keeping him close to his chest.

“I am, yes,  Nearly ten years now,” she said.

Zaeed gave Regis a questioning look before asking, “Regis can be a jealous bastard at times, yes, but never with us and what we have.  What are you trying to pull?”

Regis wasn’t going to comment on it, but Zaeed had a point. 

She frowned.  “I’m not trying to pull anything.  Last I saw Regis… well, it’s not important.  Sorry if I caused any offense.”

Regis waved it off, but something about her comment still stung.  He wasn’t about to fully let it go, throwing out one last comment.  “Communication is key, and one thing that we’ve always tried to be good at.  Only way we can make this work.  Didn’t really have a lot of that back in the day, did we?  Goes a long way to clearing the air.”

Her face stayed carefully stoic.  “It’s good that you both found so much happiness despite everything.”

More like in spite of everything.  Regis dropped it, for now.  Now’s not really the time to be petty, but a small, dark, and vindictive part of him was happy that he was the one that helped Kaidan in the end.   “I’m glad to hear you did well, too.  Still use your biotics?  Or did you go for the program to tamper down the L2s?”

She nodded, loosening up a bit.  “You and Miss Lawson did incredible work on that, by the way.  Yes, I went for the reduction.  Wore a low-power, low-energy amp for years until you came up with that method.  I feel… a lot freer now.”

Regis and Miranda spent time trying to improve amp and implant structure, as well as introducing more ways to use cybernetics in the field of medicine.  Kaidan’s biotic school was his pet project; Regis’s was his cybernetics programs.  With Miranda’s knowledge from Lazarus, they were able to reverse engineer parts of the L2 and give recipients of the implants two major choices: refit with an upgraded implant with fewer risks, or downgrade down and lose most, if not all biotic ability.  Vikram also got involved, using their centuries of medical experience and biotic implant knowledge to get their methods out there.  A third, lesser chosen option was to retrofit the L2 with some improvements to further reduce risk, but not all side effects were lost. 

Kaidan, like him, still uses the L2.  It’s been a successful program, and these days Regis is happy enough to spend his time overseeing that.  He’s still an Admiral and a Spectre, but not as out in the field as much.

The Normandy is in new hands.  Much of the crew has gone their separate, but happy ways.  And soon enough, Regis might find himself living damn near full time on a space station.

Who knew?

“I’m glad to hear it’s been useful to you,” Regis said, hoping the sincerity was coming through.  “BAaT made many things clear to us.”

“If I ever have kids who manifest, I know who I’m sending them to.  I really should be saying this to him, but…” she trailed off, and Regis had a feeling he knew what she was about to say.

Before Regis could say anything, his omnitool pinged.

KA: Meeting’s done, I’m heading down as fast as humanly possible.

Zaeed opened his omnitool and a smirk appeared on his face.  Oh no.

ZM: Could it have been an email?

Regis rolled his eyes and gave him a pointed look.  Rahna looked at them in a hilarious expression of pure confusion.

KA: No, Zee, it couldn’t. ZM: Dammit.  Anyway, we have company. KA: You… do?

RS: What Zaeed is trying to say is that we ran into someone unexpected.  Rahna.

Kaidan started typing and stopped, and then started again, and then stopped again.

Finally, he sent a message.

KA: Wow.  That is unexpected.  I guess she wants to talk to me?

RS: I’ve gotten that impression, but we’ve had a good conversation so far.  I won’t spoil all the details.   KA: Of course not.  Be there soon. XX

Regis and Zaeed sent kisses in response before powering off their tools.

“He’s on his way,” Regis said, and she immediately seemed to tense back up.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine,” Zaeed said, his voice taking on a tender tone.  

“I really shouldn’t be worried.  Kaidan was always such a sweetheart, and then–” She made a motion with her hand.  “That was all I could see.  Still see, sometimes.”

Regis wasn’t about to admit that Vyrnnus stopped haunting his dreams many, many years ago.  Kaidan coming in and saving the day changed the narrative for him.

Instead for her, it was likely another nightmare.  He understands.  Being an Alliance spacer kid meant he was used to death, to an extent, already getting some training for self-defense and shooting lessons.  

Someone like her?  A good life with a rich family?  

“Something tells me you never saw it that way,” she continued.

“Why?  Because of my feelings for Kaidan?  Or because of what I’ve become with my Alliance career?” Regis asked.  He didn’t want to be accusatory, but quite frankly, he wanted to know where she was going with that.

If she says Torfan, he might just get up and leave.

“No.  I could see it in you when you Stasised him.  You claimed the power shift was accidental, but was it really?  I remember you talking all the time about your uncle who should’ve been the one training you, and that Vyrnnus will get his one day,” she admitted carefully.

Damn.  He had to give her props for that, but he hated her tone, as if she was trying to trap him into admitting something.  

Regis took a few bites of his chicken before pushing the plate away, washing it down with a bit of lemonade.  “It was accidental. I did want to Stasis the son of a bitch.  But sometimes, biotics can be just as much about intent as it is about the mnemonic.”

He made sure her gaze was locked onto his. “The only thing I would change would be to trade places with Kaidan.”

She looked away. “How could you… never mind.  It… messed him up, didn't it.”

“That's an understatement if I've ever heard one,” Regis scoffed. “But I'm not really the one you should be saying this to. I wasn't shunned, he was.  And all of you were blind to what he did to save us all.”

But Kaidan forgave her and them a long time ago.  Regis wanted him to forget about them, they were nothing.  Yet, that wasn’t Kaidan.

“You grew up knowing biotics.  None of us did!  And we saw what we could do if we were pushed too far, what we could do to each other.  He broke my arm, and the next thing I knew, he was dead!  Was killing him really the answer?”

Yes, it was, he wanted to yell. 

“I don't blame you for feeling that way, but a strong support from all the students who suffered under his torture would've gone a long way.  Thankfully, he was cleared anyway, as was I,” Regis replied, choosing not to rise to the bait. “That kick he managed is nothing compared to what we can do.  Being scared of what we can do is probably what they wanted anyway. As far as I know, Kaidan and I were some of the only L2s that actually went somewhere in the Alliance.”

Zaeed whistled, getting their attention.  He held up his omnitool. “He’s about to be here, coming up from the elevator.”

Rahna settled back down in her seat.  “I kept in contact with some.  You're right, most of us found ways to get rid of our ‘gift.’ You, however, can't blame us for how we felt.  I was a scared teenager in immense pain, and–”  She stopped, her gaze focusing on something behind him.

Regis opened his mouth to reply, but Kaidan cleared his throat behind them. Ah, right. How much did he hear?

He sat down in the seat between Zaeed and Rahna. 

“Looks like you've been having a productive conversation without me,” he said diplomatically, nodding at Rahna. “Good to see you. You look well.”

Regis could tell Kaidan was keeping his voice carefully steady, carefully flat.  Not a good sign. 

“You do too,” she said, her voice taking on a similar tone. “Married and Alliance life seems to be treating you well.”

“That it has,” he said, breaking out into a genuine smile.  It was quickly lost.  “I could tell things were a bit tense when I arrived.”

“It's not easy talking about BAaT,” she began. 

“No shit,” Regis interjected.  Kaidan gave him a sharp look. 

“What, I'm not wrong!” Regis said, defending himself. 

“No, but you don't have to be an ass about it,” Kaidan said with a sigh. 

Regis rolled his eyes but stayed silent anyway. 

The waiter came back by. “Ah, your third has come!  Would you like for me to put your usual in?”

“Might as well,” Kaidan said. “Unless you have any objections?  Rahna, would you like anything?”

Still dancing around the main topic. 

“No, I’ve eaten already.  Thanks anyway,” she said.  

“Our usual, then,” Kaidan said. “And could you give us some privacy?”

“Of course.  Just signal for me if you need anything.  I’ll return with your food,” they said before walking off, returning a moment later to give Kaidan a pint of beer. 

Kaidan took a long, slow sip of his drink before breaking the silence.  “Why exactly did you want to talk to me, Rahna?  To apologize?”

“Well–yes,” she started to say.  “I never knew what happened to you, other than hearing that BAaT was shut down.  And then years later you appear in the news, and kept appearing…”

“I forgave you a long time ago,” Kaidan said.  “And honestly?  I don’t want to hear it.  It’s long been in the past.  We were kids.”

“You did?” She looked at Regis, who decided to say nothing.  He knew that Kaidan did.  He could’ve told her and sent her on her merry little way, but he couldn’t help being curious about what she wanted to say to Kaidan after all these years.

Hell, even Regis couldn’t really blame everyone for their reactions, but that didn’t mean he wanted to invite anyone over for drinks and reminiscing anytime soon.  It was a betrayal, no matter how anyone framed it.  “But–”

“But what?” Regis asked.  “You heard him.  It’s done.  And I made sure he could work through it, as the only kid there who stood with him.”

“Regis…” Kaidan started, giving him a warning look.

“What?  It’s true.  I’m not the only reason why you were able to be comfortable as a biotic again, but I sure as hell helped,” Regis said, not backing down.

Rahna shook her head, standing up.  “I don’t even know why I bothered with your goddamn guard dog here.  It was good seeing you, Kaidan, and I’m glad life has treated you well.  Regis?  Thank you for your cybernetics program, but honestly, I shouldn’t have expected anything different out of you.”  She gave Zaeed a nod, who inclined his head in response.  Regis couldn’t even tell what he was thinking right now.

“Rahna, wait,” Kaidan said, standing up.  

“I’ll go,” Regis said, standing up and tossing his napkin on the table.  “Tell Alyx to pack my food for to-go.  I’ll be in the Spectre range if you need me.”

This is purely between Kaidan and Rahna.  He doesn’t need to be there, especially when his opinions haven’t changed after all these years.

Kaidan risked punishment after he broke free of his guards to try and clear the air, to talk to her before he was sent away.  Hell, he remembered Kaidan recalling the guards drawing their weapons when he flared out, trying to get one last moment with her, to explain himself and get what to understand. 

And she turned away with only a goodbye.

Regis walked off without a second glance back, hearing Kaidan call his name as he rounded the corner to the elevators.  He pressed the call button and stopped to put his earbuds in when he saw Zaeed walking towards him with his jacket slung over his shoulder.

“Did Kaidan send you after me?” Regis asked, crossing his arms.

“No, I left because their conversation is none of my goddamn business.”

Fair enough.  It had to be awkward for him. 

“Are you going to say it's mine?”

He shrugged.  “I know what you went through, but is she really the bad guy here?”

The elevator doors opened.  They stepped inside, Zaeed moving to hold his hand.  Regis couldn’t help but smile.

Regis inputted their destination.  “No, but she represents everything that caused Kaidan to shrink into himself.  He was confident, open with his biotics.  Directly after?  Well, everyone was terrified.  But Rahna?  She turned away from him after he tried to fight to talk to her one last time.” Zaeed nodded.  “Kaidan told me everything.”

“I know.”

“And you also told me everything.”

The doors opened and they stepped outside, making their way to the Spectre office tucked away in the embassies.  “What are you trying to say?”

“Both of you are too damn biased when it comes to her.  His crush on her has long since fizzled out, but he still cares for her.  Your opinions on her haven’t changed one bit.”

“Neither has hers on me,” he scoffed.  “We were never that civil with each other, although we tried to be for appearances.  Also to save ourselves from punishment.  Can’t be seen fighting.”

Zaeed grumbled out a curse.  “The more I hear about what you went through, the happier I am he is rotting somewhere.”

“You know I’ll drink to that.”

As they walked up the stairs, they noticed a familiar face about to enter the offices.  Ashley was waving her credentials to the door, clothed in a comfy techwear inspired outfit.  “What the hell are you two doing here?” she asked, keeping the door open for them.

Regis nodded at her in thanks, barely listening to the VI announce their Spectre statuses and Zaeed’s associate status.  “Long story.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” she replied, rolling her eyes.  “Thought the three of you were supposed to be on some hot date.  What happened?  Clearly not a fight, but something… I don’t know… awkward?”

She knows them too damn well.

“Right on the money, Ash,” Zaeed replied, sitting down in front of the range.  “How much do you know about BAaT?”

She made a face.  “Oh no.  What happened?  I don’t know like, everything, but I know how it shut down.”

“Then you know enough,” Regis sighed.  “Did Kaidan ever mention someone named Rahna to you?”

She nodded.  “Break during N training.  Yeah, he talked a bit about BAaT and you and what he did in the end to protect her.  Was a bit tight lipped about her, though.  All I was able to get out of him was that they stopped talking after what happened.”

Regis pulled a face.  “Well, that’s one way to put it.”

He started to tell his version of the story, but Zaeed cut him off.  “No, you’re too goddamn biased.”

“And you aren’t?” Regis asked.  Ashley looked between them and shook her head.

“Least biased about her,” Zaeed said, putting his hand over Regis’s mouth.  Ashley laughed. He licked it and when Zaeed didn’t budge, he sighed and rolled his eyes.

Zaeed told her what was, admittedly, a nicer version of what Regis would’ve described, removing his hand from his mouth in the middle of the story.

“Yeah, can hold one hell of a grudge.  You were jealous,” Ashley said, giving him an unimpressed look.  “Not that I’m surprised, but even after all this time?  You got the man–you got two men–and you’re still trying to pick a fight with her?”

“It’s not about what Kaidan felt for her.  It’s about what she represents,” Regis said.  “Kaidan struggled to see himself as a biotic, as someone who was even human.  I wasn’t scared of him, but I sure as hell was scared for him after seeing the rest of our class stepping away from him after what he did.  Rahna said he was Mr. Popular, but hell, she was the queen.  And I get why.  She was nice, always willing to lend an ear, knowing what to say… but that day, I saw nothing but betrayal.  We were saved from our goddamn torturer, and yet suddenly, he wasn't the only monster in the room.”

Ashley sat down next to him.  “God… I knew it was bad, but even from your perspective… they must’ve grilled the both of you.”

“I got off easy compared to him,” Regis said quietly.  “Thankfully, the higher ups saw it in a similar way, as did the turian courts, but the damage was already done.  I made sure we stayed in contact, and I was there for him when I could be in-between my studies and his own online programs.” Regis closed his eyes.  “I remember something he said one night.  We were still young, not even enlisted yet…”

Kaidan brought him to their apple tree.  A large one up on a hill, all by its lonesome away from the rest of the orchard.  It was special, one of the first on the property.  Or something.  It seemed to have a lot of stories. Either way, it was Regis’s favorite.  Away from prying eyes.  An inspiration for the tattoo of the tree on his right arm, combined with Norse imagery to be his own yggdrasil.     They kissed each other, soft and sweetly on a warm blanket, underneath the starry sky.  In between kisses and loving words, Kaidan said something to him that nearly broke his heart, the way his voice rasped and cracked.  “Regis, you make me feel human.” “I shouldn’t have to.  You are human, every glowing bit of you.” “Yes, yes, I know… how many times have we had this discussion?” “Far too many.  But if me being here with you helps…. I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.” Kaidan kissed him again, this time with more heat and passion behind it.  Regis returned it with the same intensity, pulling him in close to press up against him. “Kaidan, I love you,” he said, breathing out those special words for the first time against his lips.  “I love you, too, Regis,” he replied. And they enjoyed their night together underneath the stars.

Regis left that last bit out when recounting the story–for Ash’s sake, Zaeed has already experienced the ‘Alenko Tradition’ a few times.  “That’s why I can’t simply bring myself to forgive and forget.  Or hell, to forgive and not forget.  Whatever.”

“I guess I get it,” Ashley said, “even if I do think you should’ve at least tried to be nice about it.  But then, I remember who I’m talking to…”  

Regis shrugged.  “I tried, I honestly did.  But then she looked at me when Kaidan said he forgave her a long time ago and  I couldn’t help it.”

“Sometimes it is best to just walk away,” she sighed.  “Well, want to vent your frustrations against a couple of targets and prototypes?” She pointed behind her to the range, and Regis was glad to finally stop talking about goddamn BAaT.

“That’s why we’re here,” Zaeed grinned.  “Lead the way, Ash.  I’m looking forward to seeing what secret shit is back there this quarter.”

– –

They weren’t in the range long, testing out some new HK guns and modifications.  Regis was quite impressed with their new pistol line, but its handling still paled in comparison to his faithful Eagle line.

Either way, it was fun shooting the shit with Zaeed and Ashley, with some friendly competition thrown in for good measure.  Regis still reigned supreme with snipers, but he could concede to their handling with other weapons.

To this day he still holds some of the best marksman records at the Villa.

In between rounds, his omnitool pinged.  He removed the heat sink from the pistol and placed it on the bench, checking his omnitool with a raised eyebrow when he saw who it was from.

KA: She’s gone, if you want to come back and heat up your food when you get home. RS: We’re at the range.  Ran into Ash.  Did… everything go well? KA: Come home and find out.

A moment later, Regis saw his monitoring logs pop up with a message.  

Kaidan Alenko logged out of the server.

Zaeed shook his head and started to place the Spectre modified Harrier back on the rack.  

“That’s… not a good sign from either of you,” Ashley observed.  “Need me to come with for backup?”

Regis damn near took her up on the offer because for once he couldn’t read Kaidan through text.  “No, this is my shit and I’ll deal with it.”

“I think you’re making this out to be far goddamn worse than it actually is.  I doubt he’s mad, just annoyed,” Zaeed said, crossing his arms.  

“Which is arguably worse,” Regis sighed, running a hand through his hair.  “I wish I never told Alyx to bring her over.”

“No, you don’t,” Zaeed rolled his eyes.  “You enjoyed finally being able to tell her how you feel.  You just don’t like that Kaidan was nice about it.”

Regis stayed silent, which was answer enough by the way Ashley laughed at him.  “Don’t keep your man waiting.  We can do this together another time.”

“Next time, with all three of us,” Regis said, giving her a hug.  She returned it tightly before waiving them off.

The trip back to the elevators and later to a rapid transit terminal went fast enough, but now in a bit of a haste to see Kaidan and figure out what had happened during their conversation.

Logging out was deliberate.  They typically stay idle most of the time, never logging out unless they need to go dark for a mission. 

Regis wasn’t sure what to make of it.  And neither did Zaeed, by the way he kept glancing over to him in the skycar.  Caught in the middle of something that he was never a part of.  He kept a reassuring grip on Regis’s hand, holding it tight between them.  

Once they exited the skycar on the Strip, they made quick work getting up to the apartment, not wanting to delay any further.  

Regis unlocked the door and saw Kaidan inside, on the couch next to the fireplace, curled up the knitted red, blue, and yellow blanket Hannah got for them as part of her wedding gift.

He knew the red and blue version that Adrian gave to them before they enlisted was secretly from her, but never said anything.  That next gift was her way of knowing that he knew.

Things have changed some since he was an angry teenager who just wanted more freedom.

Regis took a moment to kneel down and take off his boots before joining him on the couch.  Kaidan smiled at them and grabbed the blanket, motioning for them to join him.

Maybe things were going to be better than Regis had thought. Maybe him logging out was the signal that meant he wanted some comfort from them as soon as possible.

Regis curled up next to Kaidan, with Zaeed joining them a moment later, making sure the blanket was all settled over them as they cuddled up on their large, comfy couch.  Regis noticed a mug full of something steaming and hot.  He inhaled and smelled a hint of chocolate and sugar.

“Did you two have fun with Ash?” he asked, breaking the silence.  “Heard we got a new shipment of toys to try out.”

Regis wasn’t going to comment on the obvious distraction from the main issue at hand.

“It did, and we did try out some new shit.  Regis still thinks his damn Eagle is the best thing on the market, which is a fucking lie if I ever heard one,” Zaeed said, pressing a kiss on the back of Regis’s neck where his old biotic squad symbol tattoo lied.  

Regis smiled, knowing the man behind him couldn’t see it.  “You just don’t have any damn taste.”

“Look at who is sitting on this goddamn couch with me and ask me that again,” he replied, throwing an arm around him.

Kaidan moved to lean against Regis’s chest, which prompted him to lean into Zaeed’s.  “You won’t be winning that argument, love,” he chuckled.  “We’ll need to meet up with her and get a good performance review to… HK, right?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Regis hummed.  He kissed the back of Kaidan’s head.  “What’s going on in that head of yours?  I’m sorry for bailing on you.”

“I hear a ‘but,’” Kaidan said, but it was good-naturedly.  “No, you’re not.  And that’s perfectly fine.”

“But what isn’t fine?” Regis asked.  “What’s going on?” he repeated once more.

Kaidna let out a long, slow sigh.  “We had a conversation.  Caught up with her and how she’s doing.  Kept dodging her insistence there was something she needed to apologize for.  At this time?  Really didn’t fucking matter to me.  I worked through it, it's all in the past.  She tried to get a snide word in or two about you, which well, I expected that.  I’m sure you did the same to her, only fair.”  Zaeed snorted at that.  Regis didn’t deny his observation.  Kaidan turned a bit so he could look at Regis.  “No, it went fine.  Just… throughout that conversation, I wondered if BAaT had weighed far heavier on her than it did for you and me, even after what we did.”

It took him a few years to wear him down and change the language to ‘we’ and not just ‘I’ when it came to their role in taking down Vyrnnus.   Because Regis was involved.  That Stasis changed everything.  Gave Kaidan the perfect shot.

How could he ever say it was only him?

“I’m sure it did,” Regis said.  “Her arm was broken badly by our abuser.  Of course it changed her in ways that we can’t ever relate to.”

“That’s probably one of the nicest things you’ll say about her,” Zaeed murmured, just loud enough for the both of them to hear.  Kaidan sent him a jolt of dark energy in response, enough to sting like a pinch.

“Anyway,” Regis turned to give Zaeed a look.  “None of us came out of Jump Zero the same way we were when we came in.  She had a few things to contend with…”

“Vyrnnus, me, and what we went through at BAaT,” Kaidan finished for him.  “I think a part of her wanted to apologize probably more for her sake than mine.  I get it, but I worked through it.  And she needed to understand that.”

“Would you have preferred if I told her that right from the beginning?” Regis asked.

She probably wouldn’t have believed him anyway, but at least his heart would’ve been in the “right place.”  

Kaidan came to the same conclusion.  “Nah.  I get the impression she would’ve thought you were trying to get her to go away.  Why did you say yes anyway?”

Regis shrugged.  “Curiosity.  Wanted to see how she was doing, but also, I couldn’t help myself.  Sorry.”

“You are not sorry,” Kaidan gave him an unimpressed look, but that was about usual with them, with a smile tugging at his lips.  He shook his head.  “She offered her link, but I didn’t accept it.  Just said if she needed anything concerning biotics to contact you or me through our respective programs.”

“How did she take that?” Zaeed asked. 

“Fine,” Kaidan replied.  “She did spend a lot of time being so surprised about my relationship.  She got the Regis part–” Regis snorted at that.  “--but not so much you.  I told her I fell in love with two incredible men at two points in my life and I couldn’t see life any different.”

Zaeed leaned over Regis to peck Kaidan on the lips.  “You’re too goddamn sweet.”

“Well, wasn’t it more like I fell in love with two incredibly hot, powerful men and dragged you along with my decisions?” Regis added.

To be fair, it didn’t take long for Regis to explain to Kaidan the feelings he felt for Zaeed, and once he was done, Kaidan told him point blank that he found him attractive too.  And later that evening… Regis was in bed with Zaeed.

Good times.

“Doesn’t matter how it started.  Only thing that matters is how it ended up in the end,” Kaidan said with a grin, moving to kiss Regis after Zaeed settled back down beside him.  “I am glad I was able to talk to her, if only for my younger self’s sake,” Kaidan continued, fixing the blanket over them.  “Good thing my meeting didn’t go over as much as I thought it would.”

“What was it about anyway?  Considering you said it couldn’t be a goddamn email, it must’ve been a little important.”

“More stuff about our return to Arcturus and what that means for staffing, the program… all that boring shit as you like to call it,” he replied.  “Nothing crazy, just part of the routine.”

“Already planning the curriculum you want me to teach?” Regis teased.  

“Possibly.  Might keep you on as an adjunct.  I don’t think you can tolerate dealing with kids all day.”

“Eh, I can always split my time between the Villa and the Alenko Academy since we’ll be in Sol,” Regis mused.  “Hell, I might enjoy working with kids.  Dealing with N recruits is basically the same thing!”

“And where do I fit into this?” Zaeed asked with a chuckle.  

“You loved the Villa when we visited.  Hell, they’ll be happy to have someone who can help recreate training sims with crazy scenarios,” Regis said.  “Or you can be our loving husband.  Whichever suits you best.”

“I’ll think about it,” he murmured.  “Peace sure is nice.”

“Yeah,” Regis said, sprawling out between his husbands.  “It sure is.”

Later that evening, Miranda sent him a link to a glowing review of their program, made by an anonymous RA.

This program has given me the opportunity to live my life the way I want to. I encourage anyone who needs a refit within the L2 generation to look into getting a work-up done to see what will work best for you. While I personally chose to remove my L2 and replace it with something that will give me as close to a biotic-free life as possible, that's not the only option for us. I could've gotten a better model that will help me fine-tune my biotics with fewer advers eeffects. Along with their endorsement by the Alenko Academy, I see no reason to not use their services as a human biotic of any generation. Shepard, Lawson, T'Lara, and the rest of their team are gifts to our community, and I hope they can change the lives of many others.

She followed the request with a call.

"Happen to know who this is from?" she asked in greeting.

"I might," Regis replied, watching Kaidan and Zaeed move around in the kitchen, heating up their leftovers and putting together some frozen cookie dough Regis had made a couple of nights prior. "Old classmate of ours from BAaT."

"We've had a few BAaT participates come in, haven't we? But it's been months. Why now, other than to give a longer term view... it just got me curious."

"Now that's going to be a long story in of itself," Regis admitted. "Take a rain check on that?"

She laughed. "Sure, Regis. You don't have to tell me all the details about BAaT. Enjoy your evening."

"You too, Miranda. Say hi to Ashley for me."

"Will do. She's definitely ready to kick all your asses in the range."

"I look forward to it. Why don't you join us for a round? Maybe we can have a big Armax meetup while we're still on the Citadel."

"Sounds great! I won't take up any more of your time."

She ended the call, and Regis got up to surprise his husbands and their cooking, making sure they don't mess up his favorite cookie dough recipe.

Maybe things are okay, if she left that kind of review. He wondered for a moment what Kaidan may have said to prompt that, but cast that thought out quickly.

BAaT and nearly everything about it is best left in the past.

Except for the gift it gave in the form of Kaidan.

#mass effect #kaidan alenko #regis shepard #male shepard #zaeed massani #mass effect fanfiction #cleric's writing #okay some parts of this were a little impulsive--looking at you ending #but i had fun exploring this

[savyir-genesizz-the-wizard]

Rating Portal/HL characters based on if I think they are a trans ally or a transphobe. Not hills I would die on but one's I will defend

Huge ally, kills transphobes: Alyx Vance, Gordon Freeman, Isaac Kleiner

Huge ally but needs a briefing of vocabulary: Eli Vance, Adrian Shepard, Barney Calhoun, father Griegory, Adventure Core

I don't know zone: Judith Mossman, Odessa Cubbage, dr Rosenberg, Caroline, idk all characters from Decay and HL:Alyx bc I haven't played, other cores

Respects you, as they would anyone else: Arne Magnuson, dr Breen*, Chell

Transphobe: Cave Johnson (massive), GLaDOS**, Wheatly***

* He is a bastard but this doesn't mean he's a bigot. Cave is, you can probably see the difference but idk it's subjective

** If Chell was trans she would call her a slur but tbh I don't think she really means anything she ever says

*** Well, he's an idiot, you know

Bonus category - is trans: Gordon Freeman, Alyx Vance, Chell

#half life #hl1 #hl2 #portal #portal 2 #I'm not tagging them

[bluerose5]

Made that post about how we should have gotten the choice to hang up on TIM in me2 like we do with the Council in me1. I could see it now.

~~~

Alyx: Hmm... just a thought. Maybe you shouldn't have set up those poor, unsuspecting colonists on Horizon and risked the life of my former squadmate. Yeah, just a thought!

TIM: Shepard, we are at war—

Alyx: More like, I am at the end of my patience, but feel free to send your evil villain monologue in the mission report, bitch. *snaps fingers* Joker, you know the drill.

TIM: Commander! Don't you da—

*click*

Joker: Ha! It never gets old.

~~~

Alyx, to Miranda five seconds later: You know, I think the meeting went really well. :)

#mass effect #commander shepard #themshep #me2 #alyx shepard #the illusive man #citadel council #jeff joker moreau #bluerose shitposts

[otherworldlyoddities]

Ok ok so I was thinking about the beta kids. Who are all the protagonists right. And they can actually be divided into two groups. We have Gordon, Alyx, Barney and Adrian who are being guided by G' (once he actually gets in) and who's goal is to make a new world. Meanwhile we also have Chell, Colette and Gina who are trying to fix the mistakes of. Mostly just Cave but also Breen. They are all the most impacted the most by what happened in the Alpha session (Chell was raised almost entirely by GLaDOS despite Cave being her guardian since he died, Colette was raised by Breen and he was left. Not well after Cave, plus she is being guided by both Cave and Breen fused together. Gina was raised by Judith who spent her whole session managing everything. Judith was one of the best caretakers though so Gina is helping out the other two because they both need someone who will keep them safe) which you know. We have one game about maintaining your humanity and fighting against an oppressive force (I mean. A goal in Sburb is to literally to topple a monarchy so it works) and one game is about the cycle of abuse.

We also have two wildly different antagonists in both sessions. In the Alpha session we have Cave who will do anything to win, and be the best at winning. He will plow through whoever he needs to and no one can stop him because he's really important and if they kill him their session will be doomed so they have to work around him. Then there is Adrian who cyberbullied Gordon for a bit then when someone asked them why they just kinda. Didn't know. Like it was just their destiny to be the opposite to Gordon but they realized they. Just didn't have to. They could do what they wanted. So that's fun I love that.

OOOOO

The Adrian thing kinda matches canon Adrian to be honest. Opposing Gordon without knowing why. And their realisation mirrors Good Shepard!Adrian turning on the troops because they’re finally fighting for what they truly believe in rather than just following what they were “meant” to do.

[bbilliam-art]

thinking about halflife gordon freeman and barney calhoun and alyx vance and adrian shepard

.

i might draw them later idk maybe i’ve got spring semester start today so it might zap my brain away first