#BE NORMAL BIOWARE

[mycelialbats]

google history “how to find high fantasy media that isn’t racist” “how to find fantasy video game that isn’t racist” “how to know if a fantasy book is racist before spending $20 on it” “how to-

#this is NOT anti-fantasy this is a complaint #it is NOT fun and whimsy if i can’t pick up a book or game without the author weaving blatant racism into the world building #BIOWARE CRITICAL #BE NORMAL BIOWARE #BE NORMAL EVERYONE GODDAMN!!!!! #high fantasy #fantasy #writing

[volpestarks]

anyone ever find themselves missing DAII randomly bc I do

#art #BioWare #dragon age #Garrett Hawke #was always my Hawke #I don’t normally play stock PC but this was a rare occasion #sarcastic! Hawke was my jam

[oediex]

Were you devastated by the Mass Effect Trilogy or are you normal

#mass effect #mass effect trilogy #commander shepard #bioware #gaming #those games man I can't be normal about them #if anyone is offended by this #look I understand #I wouldn't want to be normal either #my playstation plus subscription expired so I have lost access to the game 😭 #i made it halfway through my second playthrough #i have some other games to play so it's not a big deal #but if I miss it too much I'll buy it when it's on sale so I actually have a copy #it's currently on sale but I'll see how I fare without #fanfiction will save me

[secretsimpleness]

I am so zen about this. Kallo, Female Ryder (custom) / Mass Effect Andromeda (c) Bioware

#n7 day #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #comic #female ryder #custom ryder #kallo #kallo jath #bioware #mass effect fanart #when consuming media I generally follow the rule of 'if the plan is desribed it won't happen that way' - #but sometimes I stray from the path and allow myself to hope. #the stick figure enemies have returned. I'm very happy about the one on the right. he looks so happy. #well. what's been happening. I've dropped into a hole of ricky gervais hyperfixation which is uh. completely normal and healthy. #there has also been a lot of elder scrolls online. my goal is to finish the aldmeri story arch but it's haha... a very long game. #anyway. #happy n7 day!

[feykrorovaan]

Dragon Age Dreadwolf is taking so long because BioWare fired Solas. That's why he's not in the new teaser.

#feykrorovaan #dragon age inquisition #dragon age #Dragon Age II #Dragon Age Dreadwolf #Please don't use this as a soap box #I normally don't comment on things like this #Not my normal kind of joke but I'm a smidge bitter for the people that were laid off by Bioware #ok more than a smidge #Solas #Fen'Harel

[lanaevyssmoved]

honestly i’ve never really enjoyed tumblr being used as a place to share character analysis because unfortunately it’s incredibly influential. an analysis that grows popular becomes canon in the fandom and anyone who disagrees is now going against canon. this always leads to the worst shit in communities on here, i swear

#fray.txt #bioware fandom trauma etc #it makes me not want to interact with analysis at all unless i know op is normal

[dallasvakarian]

I’m sure this has been done already but I couldn’t resist

#Baldur’s Gate 3 #BioWare (and EA) have done nothing but disappoint me for like a decade at this point #Larian Studios has raised the bar and my personal standards for games so high #I’m being so normal about this game I swear #bg3 #Astarion #astarion bg3 #dragon age dreadwolf #dragon age #BioWare #Larian Studios #bg3 memes #OC by D

[dreamingriven]

OKAY DID Y'ALL SEE THIS?????

#destiny 2 #d2 #mass effect #bungie x bioware #i am normal about this so so normal

[vigilskeep]

What the heck that line from Howe?? I definitely got the spitfire line as Female Cousland so I wonder if you only get that if you're with leliana?

OH no the second line in that image is the vo comment, it’s like added context/instructions for the voice actor on a how a line should be said. to be absolutely clear arl howe does not call you a slur in game. but apparently he’s thinking it! (the implication is in “all grown up and still playing the man.”)

#as an aside im kind of baffled by some peoples responses JHDHJDSKK #like i also found it funny thats normal but i actually dont think a bioware writer using a slur is unambiguously fun and cool

[couslande]

the more games i play the more baffling the real-world backlash to anders becomes to me

#as per usual with all of my anders posts. this is about people who are like 'he killed people >:(' #and not like actual discussions about the imagery bioware was drawing on etc #text #sorry im playing cyberpunk and johnny my best friend johnny silverhand is responsible for at least 12000 deaths #and its like ok that's bad but lets be normal about this fake guy #im sure theres something to be said for when the bad thing happens in the narrative #and of course like. the charisma of a character played by keanu reeves vs. well idk anders' va but not keanu reeves

[oediex]

On Horizon, Kaidan gives you a hug, and the fucking Vigil theme starts playing. HELLOO???

#mass effect #mass effect 2 #mass effect soundtrack #commander shepard #Kaidan alenko #mass effect trilogy #bioware #gaming #that particular theme has been my escaping-from-depression-song-on-repeat lately so it's hardwired in my brain #how are they expecting me to be normal about this

[frecklef0x]

A dalish court painting for @dreadfutures, my beloved

#I am now tragically obsessed with these guys #They are juuuuust hard enough to capture that it makes me want to keep trying to keep them just right #is it the vibe? the energy? some ephemeral aura? #how do I portray their unique essence ejnfhkwrbfjwmfk #anyway I did love this project it gave me an artistic identity crisis and I am being very normal about it #frecklef0x #my art #dragon age #dragon age fanart #dragonage #bioware #bioware fanart #not my oc #commission example #dragon age inquisition #da:i #lavellan #arlathan #dalish #dalish pantheon #vallaslin #da: inquisition #inquisitor lavellan #herald of andraste #dirthamen #elven pantheon #dalish elf

[zevrans]

.

#yeah man.. had a few hours of back and forth argument with my friend..idk really if i want to call her that now #but it was an eye opening mess.. it all started with her sending me dreadwolf trailer and i said it's all promises talk #and literally it went downhill from there she claimed that it's been announced like a year ago i said it's been in development for years #it then went to a fandom talk and how she thinks people in fandoms are pathetic and etc bullshit #how being a fan of something is not normal #and being invested in fiction and vgs and fandoms is something ppl with little responsibility do.. #man i can't even write out all the stuff she said i genuinely felt so bad after this argument #i don't think i ever want to speak to her again #people having fun in her understanding is pathetic childish and a sign of a person not having enough responsibilities in life?? #jfc i never realized just how truly toxic she is... #i mean deep down i did i just didn't want to admit to myself.. her general attitude to people being fans of something is just sickening #i'm determined to not write to her at all unless she reaches out which i doubt #she just shitted on everything despite me trying to expain how fiction can even literally save people #i tried expaining to her why some people are telling other ppl to not buy dreadwolf and pirate instead #i said about the fucked over emplyees of bioware and what she said was #it's a cruel world but idgaf it's business cry me a river - something along these lines #she literally has zero empathy i understand it now #the way she only selectively cares about wars going on in world #i said if people can boycott companies that support wars why cant they also support people who suffer from companies #she said and i qoute 'to compare war to people being fired wow that's something' #i was not comparing i just tried to find empathy in her to no avail #anyways.. i am so dissapointed in her and in myself that i didn't see this sooner #tbd

[theviridianbunny]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🪷 ꒱ ˎˊ˗

#oc: wren #cullen rutherford #cullen x trevelyan #dragon age #cullen x female inquisitor #inquisitor trevelyan #dragon age inquisition #dai #bioware #ot3: sanctuary #I dont normally post video recordings bUT OH MY GOD MY HEART #I'M GOING INTO THE CULLEN ROMANCE NEAR BLIND AND SCREAMING AND HAPPY CRYING #HE LOVES WREN SO MUCH AND WREN LOVES HIM TOO AND THEY BOTH LOVE IRON BULL AND BULL LOVES THEM BOTH BACK SO MUCH

[came-out-of-the-coffin-desisted]

writing dragon age fanfiction is so so so so hard for me because every time i spot another historical inaccuracy that’s like “i don’t care that it’s fantasy they have the same level of technology this is WRONG” i have to have a moment of like. “kaed NO ONE ELSE will EVER care about this. you watch ‘ranking period dramas on corset accuracy both in construction and writing’ videos on youtube for entertainment normal people simply do not give a FUCK about medieval castle layouts!”

and yet this cycle continues, because the dragon age devs so so so so clearly DID research but they did BAD research and it HAUNTS me. like WHYYYYY is there only one courtyard that isn’t even really a courtyard in castle cousland WHY is the “main hall” huge with no furniture while the great hall “dining room” is tiny as fuck and in a horrible to access spot WHY are there no ovens in the kitchens where the FUCK do they bake the breaaaad!! like ok fine cool servants get beds in thedas i’ll bite. that fucks hard, actually! but WHY are there more servant rooms than rooms for visiting nobles do you honestly think anybody in the middle ages fucking had servant rooms???? they slept on the FLOOR in the GREAT HALL! and WHY is there a fucking library and a ‘treasury’ (which what the fuck is THAT there should be a DON-JON in there you locked your valuables in the TOWER at the TOP, not in ONE room centrally located on the first floor with TWO guards!!) like i KNOW it was for level design i KNOW it was but oh my fucking g-d it’s gonna KILL ME to write out creeping through corridors when there WERE NO CORRIDORS! like look at this. look at this.

castle cousland: stupid, awful design, honestly they kinda asked to be coup’ed with their garbage unsurvivable castle that supposedly nobody sieges regularly even though it’s literally a death trap. there is ONE main exit, no way to trap your enemies, and only one official guard post that i can see. fuck awful.

harlech castle in wales: it took 115 years for someone to successfully take this castle, and it’s withstood COUNTLESS sieges, you can go visit it right the hell now if you go to wales (not at all getting into the evilness of the english building castles in wales, that’s not the point i’m trying to make.) see how the outside makes it so that even if your enemies breach the walls, to actually reach anyone important they have to survive the volleys of arrows from the ramparts? and then presumably kill everyone ON the ramparts, or the minute you go to open a door or try to drag someone out, you’re going to get shot full of arrows. that’s after breaching TWO heavy doors (which would require a battering ram both times) which would wake up the entire castle LONG before they got anywhere NEAR the heir to the castle’s wife and child.

and before somebody says “oh well kaed maybe you just don’t know your castle building periods very well” think again. i know my castle building periods. that style above is concentric (harlech castle’s initial construction was finished in 1289 and was one of the first finished castles in england in this style,) which came after the keep and bailey style, which came after the motte-and-bailey style, which came after the burh (which arguably WASN’T a castle but whatever,) etc. there are no fortified castles in english history that look like castle cousland, because it’s fucking indefensible. now, this does lead to the question of “oh, well, what is the timeline for the game, maybe there’s something you missed!” so let’s examine the time period of origins:

at the very, very latest, origins could be based off of the BEGINNING of the british “wars of the roses” (the civil wars between the various members of the house plantagenet) which began in the 1450s— this is personally what /i/ think origins is based off of, for a couple reasons. 1) trevelyan was a real person— g.m. trevelyan was a british historian who wrote about the wars of the roses, and in one instance there’s a quote of his the devs almost verbatim used for the design of the free marches: “the Wars of the Roses were to a large extent a quarrel between Welsh Marcher Lords, who were also great English nobles, closely related to the English throne…” they ixnayed the part about the marcher lords being ferelden nobles, i imagine because it was too complicated, but trevelyan? marcher lords? a close relationship with this country? (i.e. like somewhere that might take in their refugees after a catastrophe?) cmon. 2) because ferelden is fucking huge and the histories are kinda weird, because they aren’t 1 for 1, i’m gonna say that we have to use the norman conquest of england as our unification date. in other contexts i wouldn’t try to argue this, but in this one, i’m saying 1066 is the unification date of the anglo-saxon kingdoms into england. calenhad gives us a hard unification date for ferelden— the first landsmeet was in 5:42 exalted, ergo origins is 388 years later. the wars of the roses started in 1455, 389 years after the norman conquest ended. 3) the wars of the roses happened because of a succession crisis— admittedly, these two succession crises are very, very different, but there are definitely parallels between loghain and henry vi and alistair and edward iv. henry vi was crowned at a young age (loghain largely ruled for maric at various points in his life, starting when he was very young,) and was very ineffectual— he suffered from an unknown mental illness which made him extremely unstable and unable to rule for large periods of time. loghain, on the other hand, ruled when the /theirins/ weren’t stable, so you argue he had the opposite— meanwhile, his policies WEREN’T sustainable, whatever you might think of him. loghain is too shaped by his own experiences to be a truly good leader, and by the time his rule/anora’s rule is threatened by cailan, he’s sacrificed enough of his principles that he’s willing to commit atrocities (notably, margaret of anjou ruled during the worst parts of her husband’s mental instability, which again could apply to loghain OR anora, as they ruled fairly jointly after a certain point.) edward iv was the son of richard of york, who was eligible for the throne at a very young age (18 to alistair’s 19) because his father was dead. he was coaxed and led into battle by his cousin, the earl of warwick (also known as the kingmaker— sound like a protagonist you might know?) that’s about where the similarities end, but that’s largely because alistair is a grey warden— if he weren’t, he’d probably be able to have kids and end the question of succession. but he can’t, which, assuming the devs eventually remember, WILL lead to another civil war. hence why i say this is at the BEGINNING of the wars of the roses.

another option that could be argued but makes much less sense and i have no evidence for is that alistair has similarities to edward ii (second son who only became king because his brother died, married a more powerful woman to consolidate power, not very good at ruling, no offense to alistair,) but that still puts origins at like 1307-1327. in either case, they would have been using concentric castles— and given what time period castle cousland was originally built in, it would have been built as a motte-and-bailey, which would NOT have lasted four hundred years. so the castle had to have been rebuilt, and bryce cousland would have had to update that rebuilt castle, because no one lived in it during the orlesian occupation. so where the hell does this winding, weird multi-level design come from?

i GUESS— and this is SO charitable— they could have designed castle cousland based off of a country house design from the mid 1500s, but none of them look like that, either. they’re exclusively rectangular, for one thing, and one of the huge bragging rights of owning one was that they weren’t fortified— they came into fashion during a period of relative stability under the tudor rule, when it was considered guache and maybe even treasonous to build a fortified castle. ferelden is NOWHERE NEAR a period of stability, if anything at the end of origins they’re entering their greatest period of INstability, given what happens in inquisition, and that no matter who ends up on the throne, there’s no way for them to have children. so there’s NO way this castle is a country house, or inspired by one.

leaving us with the final conclusion that a) the game devs definitely did do research into the time period because i can fairly directly trace a line between the event i think inspired origins and the plot, but they didn’t do enough research to figure out what the everloving fuck the BUILDINGS looked like. so these castles make no fucking sense and can’t possibly be called historically accurate even with the fantasy defense, and b) i care WAAAY too much about this for somebody who isn’t even a medieval historian. my area of expertise is the paleolithic, i have no clue why this bugs me so bad i spent four fucking hours writing this post.

#anyone: so what are you getting up to on spring break? me: uhhhhhhhhhhh *spends four hours writing a bioware calloit post about their #historically inaccurate castles* Normal Things #it took me four hours bc i had to pare it down like 8 times btw. i could have kept going #btw there are image descriptions on the maps #dragon age origins #dragon age #long post #actually i take it back i DO know why it bugs me and it’s because they made this g-dawful design part of the plot on every single occasion #like highever? would never have been sacked if not for this design. redcliffe? whole story is about infiltrating this castle through these #extensive dungeons they never would have fucking built bc there’s no use for them. the palace in denerim (which doesn’t even have a name) #is so so so fucked. we can’t even get into it but i HATE it. denerim is a city small enough that not all the banns arls and teyrns can have #their own estates in the city meaning they would need rooms in the palace dedicated to them. where are those rooms??? if’s tiny as hell. all #they needed to do was to put up some extra wings you can’t go into that’s all they needed. i’m so so so annoyed by this it’s such a pet #peeve of mine. especially since skyhold is SOOOOOO good if’s the pinnacle of dragon age buildings no one else will ever be her #there’s multiple courtyards. there’s a garden. there’s the stables centrally located there are concentric walls there’s that weird palace #thing in the center with the world’s hottest great hall. there’s a FORGE there’s a keep there’s a guest wing there’s a tabern there’s #ANOTHER tower you can build there are sentry posts there’s a gatehouse there’s a bridge no one will ever replace her in my heart i know this #skyhold baby you are so so so sexy and delicious and everything a fantasy castle in a video game should be MWAH

[lululandd]

fuck you mass effect legendary edition for removing thane’s 2nd eyelid

#mass effect #thane krios #i played legendary #and complained about it #only to see a gif #on tumblr dot com #of a normal me2 thane #with a second eyelid #seriously bioware #legendary my ass