Now, Maya holds her wife as sobs racked her body, contorted her face, violently ricocheted around the small space, not caring or worrying that she might wake or distress Liam.
But without even asking, Maya knew.
This hurt would've surfaced whether or not they had Liam, and with or without Maya's offer. This hurt was a fear lying in wait. Realized in cruel circumstance.
Carina's desire for children was at the forefront of their relationship for as long as they even had a relationship.
"You want to be the one who carries."
Maya often felt pangs of curiosity and wonder at Carina's longing.
To experience the beauty she saw in creating life from nothing. To experience the pain and toils -- both physical and emotional -- of sacrificing her body.
As years passed, she slowly came to understand. It uncovered her ever-protective nature, her desire to make the world better. Bringing Liam home healed something in her she didn't know had been broken. But still wasn't enough for Carina.
Having a child was also a way to keep Andrea alive.
"Why can't I do this…" Carina's voice, broken and shrill, fighting through the sobs, wedges a dagger into Maya's chest.
She hugs Carina tighter, not caring that the damp towel is now soaking through to her t-shirt. There is nothing, truly, she can say. But she tries. She will never stop trying. "I know it isn't how you imagined it…but this isn't over yet, my love…"
Carina takes a shuddering breath and lifts her head, looking at Maya with blurry, red-rimmed eyes. "I can't make you do this…"
In between each of Carina's words, Maya's own came barreling back, trying to overpower them both.
Carina, I don't even know if I want to have kids…
Maya shakes her head, rejecting Carina's words and her own, pressing her lips to Carina's hairline.
"You're not making me do anything," she insists, just loud enough it's hard to tell who she's assuring. "This is my choice, it was my idea because this is my life, and my family. I want to do this. For us."
//
last of my kind (3887 words) by l_grace_b
Chapters: 1/1
Maya and Carina take the next steps. // A 7.05 continuation.
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