#Dick is just trying to qualify for the job- And he and Bruce are similar anyway right??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

insertcoolusernamehereee · 5 months

Text

If becoming Robin had an interview:-

(Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie and Damian)

Batman- What is your motivation for becoming Batman's partner?

Dick- Robin. Batman's partner is Robin.

Batman-

Batman- Right, Robin, what are your motivations?

Dick- *Scrunching up nose in concentration* Uhm- Uhhh- RIGHT! dead parents :D

Batman-

Batman- WHAT?

Dick- OH! sorry, i forgot, *Grin*, seeing dead parents DIE in front of me :))

Batman- I-

Batman- *softly* Dick,

Dick- Aww, I got it wrong...

Batman- You can't-

Dick- What's your motive?

Batman- Making sure nobody else has to suffer like I did but-

Dick- My motive is to make sure nobody else has to suffer like I did, Batman sir *salute*

Batman-

Batman- Dick, just because we have similar starts to our Vigilante career-

Dick- And to find Tony Zucco.

Batman- There it is-

-------------------------

Batman- Out of all the other kids, why should I hire you?

Jason- OUT OF ALL THE OTHER- Listen here mister-

Batman- waIT that was just to sound interviewy-

Jason- SOME RANDOM CREEPY WEIRDO KIDNAPPED ME OFF THE STREETS-

Batman- *softly* Oh Gotham...

Jason- YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WENT "hey kid, wanna punch some baddies?"

Batman- *suppressing a smile* Are you done?

Jason- THE HELL IF I AM- Y'know what, why should I work FOR YOU??? WHY NOT- LIKE- THE JOKER OR SOMETHING?

Batman-

Batman- Because THE JOKER IS A HORRIBLE MAN???

-------------------------

Batman- *Gruff* What are your qualifications?

Tim- Well, Photography, Stalking, and I like to think I'm quite smart but I can be stubborn at times-

Batman- *Bored* Mhm....

Tim- I-

Tim- To hell with this, If you don't hire me, I'm telling everyone you're Bruce Wayne >:(

Batman- *Raise of eyebrow* And what if I stop you?

Tim- Unless you tie me down for the rest of my life or kill me, you can't

Batman-

Batman- I need your height and weight for the suit.

Tim- yES!

-------------------------

Batman- Any previous experience?

Stephanie- Well, I was Spoiler before, and I have a close relationship with the previous Robin-

Batman- *Interested* Hrn, would you say the previous Robin, cared for you???

Stephanie- Uh, yes sir???

Batman- Don't call me sir.

Batman- This may be a strange question, but would said person be jealous if you became Robin?

Stephanie-

Stephanie- I suppose, but I like to think-

Batman- You're hired.

Stephanie- REALLY?????

Batman- Really.

Stephanie-

Stephanie- Do I get paid, ma'am?

-------------------------

Batman- What is your opinion on killing?

Damian-

Damian- Well, I suppose, hypothetically speaking,

Batman- We're not talking about hypothetically.

Damian- *under breath* interrupt me again-

Batman- Sorry?

Damian- HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, I think some people deserve to die,

Batman- Well yes, but would you deliver the final blow?

Damian-

Damian- *deep annoyed inhale*

Damian- *Slowly, as if remembering difficult lines* I believe that context matters,

Batman-

Batman- Could you please answer the question, i have other volunteers waiting-

Damian- Excuse me?

Batman- I meant-

Batman- *Sigh* Tim wanted to volunteer for the interview just in case-

Damian- *Pushing table and standing up* OH REALLY?

Batman- *Painfully tight* Damian-

Damian- WELL YOU CAN TELL DRAKE THAT IF HE DOESN'T BACK OFF, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET BLOOD ON PENNYWORTH'S NICELY CLEANED CARPETS-

Batman- DAMIAN DON'T YOU DARE-

Damian- *Impassive stare*

Batman-

Damian-

Batman-

Damian- I'm going out.

Batman- WHERE-

Damian-

Damian- *Run's out*

Batman- WAIT-

Batman- *Following after* YOU'RE HIRED- DAMIAN YOU LITTLE- STOP!!!

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codenamed-queenie · 5 years

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ohhhh i just blew my own mind. consider this: six of crows batfam au. not sure how it'd work but they're fully qualified and the banter would be insane.

You just blew my mind too, anon! 😲

This is a really great idea, and I think we need to get fic writers and artists on this ASAP! I swear not all my headcanons are gonna be this long, but here’s just my take on what this would look like:

Barbara Gordon: She and her father traveled to Gotham to make their fortune after Barbara’s mother passed away, and the family farm went under. A mob boss calling himself the Joker spotted a pair of easy marks and moved in. Barbara’s father was killed, and Barbara herself took a bullet to the leg. She walks with a permanent limp now, and relies on a weighted cane topped with a pair of bat wings.

Vowing revenge on the Joker, Barbara joined a Gotham City gang called the Signals (Bat signal? Eh? Eh? Yeah, I feel like I should come up with a better name…) and quickly rose through the ranks. She always keeps her face hidden behind a masquerade mask, just in case Joker or any of his people might recognize her (he’d know her face, but not her name), and the act itself becomes a local legend. People can’t decide why she hides her face, and it only adds to her mystique. Especially once she starts going by the moniker ‘Oracle’. As in, ‘All-seeing’. Once she was powerful enough amongst Gotham’s criminal community, she formed her own inner circle within the Signals starting with a sharpshooting street kid she recruited and a Suli acrobat she rescued from a brothel.

Jason Todd: A stray kid from the streets of Gotham. He knows his way around a gun, and has a mind almost as sharp as his wit. After falling into heavy debt with Joker’s gang, he resorted to thievery, and even tried to steal Barbara’s cane to earn the money he needed. He almost got away with it too, but Barbara caught him in the act, and offered him a job. Work for her, and the Signals would have his back. Turn down the generous offer, and she’d kill him. Jason, surprisingly, agreed.

Dick Grayson: Grew up in a family of Suli acrobats, performing all over the world. One day, he and his little sister Cassandra were kidnapped from their family’s tent, and sold into slavery in Gotham, far away from their home. Dick went to a brothel, and Cassandra was sold elsewhere. One day, he ran into Barbara on one of her trips to collect protection money from the brothel’s owner, Tony Zucco, and impressed her with his stealth and ability to read people. (Much like Inej’s backstory in SOC) Barbara bought Dick from Zucco, and recruited him into the Signals, giving him the choice to join or walk away freely (deciding that the man had suffered enough.) Dick decided to join up, on the condition that Barbara help him find his little sister. Barbara agreed, and took him on as her right hand man and personal spy. On the streets, he’s known as the Nightwing, a name that earns almost as much fear and respect as ‘Barbara Gordon–the All-seeing Oracle’. Dick has since fallen head-over-heels for her, but Barbara’s only loves are money and revenge. (Or, at least, that’s what she tells herself…)

The trio received a tip on a job from Councilman Dent. A dangerous endeavor involving a highly-addictive drug that can supposedly grant humans ‘meta powers’ like the Grisha, and rescuing the only man who knows how to make it from the clutches of the Al Ghul clan. The man’s name? Bruce Wayne. The score? Thirty Million Dollars. The stakes are high; no one has ever crossed the Al Ghuls and survived. But if they do nothing, the metagene drug will be released on the world–and worst of all, they won’t get paid.

But first, they need to put together a good crew. Barbara’s first choice is

Stephanie Brown: A bright and bubbly Grisha Heartrender (The SOC equivalent of a metahuman with the ability to manipulate the human body at a molecular level) with an enormous love for waffles. (I thought Steph and Nina were way to similar to overlook!) She works for the Signals as a healer and assassin, but relies on the gang for protection. Currently, she’s on the run from the Al Ghuls–vicious Grisha killers who believe that Grisha power needs to be controlled or else wiped off the face of the earth. She had a run-in with one of them, but managed to escape…landing squarely in the Signals’ cross-hairs. Barbara has been hiding her, and the two share a strained relationship. Stephanie only agrees to help on one condition: her friend/partner, Duke Thomas, gets safe passage away from Gotham.

Duke Thomas: Duke wasn’t sure how he ended up in this situation. One moment, he’s living a quiet, normal life, and the next thing he knows, the mob leader Joker is extorting his family for everything they own. After the mobster kills his parents, Duke is left adrift on the streets of Gotham, never a safe place to be when you’re a lone Grisha. He was found and picked up by Stephanie Brown, and together, they do odd jobs for the Signals in exchange for shelter from the other gangs. All he wants is to get out of Gotham, but he’s willing to see one more job through if it means finally escaping this cursed city.

With the two Grisha on board, Barbara, Dick and Jason have one more potential recruit to pick up:

Timothy Drake: As the Signals’ best demolitions expert and chemist, Tim makes a valuable asset. But as the estranged ward of Councilman Dent, he makes even more valuable collateral. After running away from his legal guardian, Tim tried to make it on his own in the streets and alleyways of Gotham. He lasted about a day and a half, before he was cornered by a pack of thugs working for the Joker. Lucky for him, Jason and Dick were both in the neighborhood, and managed to fend off the attackers. They took the younger boy under their wings (after voting on whether or not to take him for everything he owned. Dick voted ‘no’. Jason voted ‘maybe’.) Barbara recognized him immediately, and decided to keep him around. Only so she’d have something on Dent. Not because she developed a soft spot for the wide-eyed little society brat. No. Not at all…

The last member of the crew arrives a bit later, but he proves to be every bit as valuable:

Damian Al Ghul: The heir to the Al Ghul clan, Damian was cast out of the family for showing mercy to a Grisha he’d been hunting in Gotham. Thanks to his quick thinking, Stephanie was able to get away. But when she turned him over to the police, he was unceremoniously thrown in prison. His family stripped him of his assassin rank, and essentially disowned him. But no walls could hold the pint-sized Al Ghul for long, and he escaped with a bitter mission to take revenge on the blonde Grisha. However, he seriously underestimated the people backing her up, and was beaten quickly. Barbara recognized a valuable asset when she saw one–an ‘in’ with the Al Ghuls, if you will–and offered him a deal. Run this one job against his family, and he’d have his pardon and safe passage to anywhere his heart desired.

But unbeknownst to the Signals, they aren’t the only gang after Mr. Wayne and the valuable information he holds. The Black Sirens, the Rogues and the Owl Court are all gunning for the same prize. Plus one more mysterious player…

Just kidding. It’s:

Cassandra Cain-Grayson: Raised in a Suli acrobat troupe, she and her brother Dick were kidnapped and separated. Cassandra was sold to the notorious Al Ghul family, and forced to begin training as one of their assassins. She has been tasked with protecting Bruce Wayne and his secrets with her life. If she can manage to destroy the thieves who are out to steal him, the head of the family, Ra’s Al Ghul, will grant her her freedom. And at last she will be able to seek out her brother and reunite them with their parents…

Aaaand, there you have it! I totally agree with you, anon, that the banter would be absolutely golden. You’d have gems straight out of the book, like:

Barbara: “Stephanie, love, always hit where the mark isn’t looking.”

Tim: “Who’s mark?”

Duke: “You have no finesse! No technique!”

Jason: “Sure I do. I practice the art of ‘pull his shirt over his head and punch till you see blood’.”

Steph [smirking]: “I can hear the change in Barbara’s breathing whenever she looks at you.”

Dick: “You…you can?”

Steph: “Mm-hmm. It catches every time, like she’s never seen you before.”

Jason: “ Usually people don’t start hating each other until a week into the job, but you two have a head start.”

[Steph and Damian glare at each other]

Duke: “She’s going to get us all killed!”

Dick: “Nah. Statistically, she’ll only get some of us killed.”

Barbara: “Who’d deny a poor cripple her cane?”

Damian: “If the cripple is you, then any man with sense.”

Steph: “ If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face.”

Jason: “If the Joker kills us all, I’m going to get Tim’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”

Barbara: “ I’ll just hire Damian’s ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”

Damian: “ My ghost won’t associate with your ghost.”

Honestly, this was too fun. Maybe I should write a fic on this??? 🤔

Btw, if any of you haven’t read the book yet, definitely give it a try! You won’t regret it!

#batfam #ask queenie #six of crows #leigh bardugo #batfamily #grishaverse #anon #this was way too fun #i could write this as a fic #if i had more time #to work on my current one #six of crows au

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insertcoolusernamehereee · 6 months

Text

If becoming Robin had an interview:-

(Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie and Damian)

Batman- What is your motivation for becoming Batman's partner?

Dick- Robin. Batman's partner is Robin.

Batman-

Batman- Right, Robin, what are your motivations?

Dick- *Scrunching up nose in concentration* Uhm- Uhhh- RIGHT! dead parents :D

Batman-

Batman- WHAT?

Dick- OH! sorry, i forgot, *Grin*, seeing dead parents DIE in front of me :))

Batman- I-

Batman- *softly* Dick,

Dick- Aww, I got it wrong...

Batman- You can't-

Dick- What's your motive?

Batman- Making sure nobody else has to suffer like I did but-

Dick- My motive is to make sure nobody else has to suffer like I did, Batman sir *salute*

Batman-

Batman- Dick, just because we have similar starts to our Vigilante career-

Dick- And to find Tony Zucco.

Batman- There it is-

-------------------------

Batman- Out of all the other kids, why should I hire you?

Jason- OUT OF ALL THE OTHER- Listen here mister-

Batman- waIT that was just to sound interviewy-

Jason- SOME RANDOM CREEPY WEIRDO KIDNAPPED ME OFF THE STREETS-

Batman- *softly* Oh Gotham...

Jason- YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WENT "hey kid, wanna punch some baddies?"

Batman- *suppressing a smile* Are you done?

Jason- THE HELL IF I AM- Y'know what, why should I work FOR YOU??? WHY NOT- LIKE- THE JOKER OR SOMETHING?

Batman-

Batman- Because THE JOKER IS A HORRIBLE MAN???

-------------------------

Batman- *Gruff* What are your qualifications?

Tim- Well, Photography, Stalking, and I like to think I'm quite smart but I can be stubborn at times-

Batman- *Bored* Mhm....

Tim- I-

Tim- To hell with this, If you don't hire me, I'm telling everyone you're Bruce Wayne >:(

Batman- *Raise of eyebrow* And what if I stop you?

Tim- Unless you tie me down for the rest of my life or kill me, you can't

Batman-

Batman- I need your height and weight for the suit.

Tim- yES!

-------------------------

Batman- Any previous experience?

Stephanie- Well, I was Spoiler before, and I have a close relationship with the previous Robin-

Batman- *Interested* Hrn, would you say the previous Robin, cared for you???

Stephanie- Uh, yes sir???

Batman- Don't call me sir.

Batman- This may be a strange question, but would said person be jealous if you became Robin?

Stephanie-

Stephanie- I suppose, but I like to think-

Batman- You're hired.

Stephanie- REALLY?????

Batman- Really.

Stephanie-

Stephanie- Do I get paid, ma'am?

-------------------------

Batman- What is your opinion on killing?

Damian-

Damian- Well, I suppose, hypothetically speaking,

Batman- We're not talking about hypothetically.

Damian- *under breath* interrupt me again-

Batman- Sorry?

Damian- HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, I think some people deserve to die,

Batman- Well yes, but would you deliver the final blow?

Damian-

Damian- *deep annoyed inhale*

Damian- *Slowly, as if remembering difficult lines* I believe that context matters,

Batman-

Batman- Could you please answer the question, i have other volunteers waiting-

Damian- Excuse me?

Batman- I meant-

Batman- *Sigh* Tim wanted to volunteer for the interview just in case-

Damian- *Pushing table and standing up* OH REALLY?

Batman- *Painfully tight* Damian-

Damian- WELL YOU CAN TELL DRAKE THAT IF HE DOESN'T BACK OFF, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET BLOOD ON PENNYWORTH'S NICELY CLEANED CARPETS-

Batman- DAMIAN DON'T YOU DARE-

Damian- *Impassive stare*

Batman-

Damian-

Batman-

Damian- I'm going out.

Batman- WHERE-

Damian-

Damian- *Run's out*

Batman- WAIT-

Batman- *Following after* YOU'RE HIRED- DAMIAN YOU LITTLE- STOP!!!

#batfam #batfamily shenanigans #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #damian wayne #batman #dc comics #bruce wayne #Dick is just trying to qualify for the job- And he and Bruce are similar anyway right???#(No Dick is my happy-angry child)#(Bruce is just Angsty-Angry)#Jason was a little angel about Robin after he got used to Bruce #but he was little rascal before #God Jason really brought up the Joker huh #bruce is so done #Yes I used Gotham as a curse. Fight me #Tim is done with Bruce's shit #Like- He's doing it for you Bruce. You ungrateful baby 🙄#Poor Stephanie Lmaooo #She didn't get paid tho. L in the chat for her.#Damian needs a chill pill-#Calm down my adorable stabby baby-#Bruce stopped him before anyone died #But he got the job-#hurrah? I mean the criminals ain't happy the ten year old partner got a KATANA-

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