#El over-analyzes

[forestshadow-wolf]

I.S.B.T.P.K.F.T.S moments (chapter 1)

all the parts of the Ao3 fic "I should be the poster kid for that shit" written by @tavtarnish that I absolutely love

Chapter 1 chapter 2

Soap having a single mother and several sisters.

~ the image of this is /so/ clear to me. like there is no other alternative, he simply just give off 'raised by women' vibes, which leads into the next item

Soap learning to do things for his siblings in order to relieve his mother of some of her responsibilities.

~ there's not really much to say about this other than the fact that he ABSOLUTELY would

the public version of him being a complete foil to the home version of himself.

~ of course he would be different. everybody needs a relief from all the stress of responsibilities. especially with him being at such a young age (the average person's brain doesn't fully develop until the age of 25 years old)

the /explicit/ statement that he loves his sisters

~ this may be a weird tidbit for me to like so much but I do

that chest feeling that he feels when he can't lighten the mood or if he was responsible for bringing the mood down

~ i've been here before. many many times. it hurts but you can't quite figure out why so you just ignore it. because how could you fix it or even explain it if you don't even know what it is other than it makes you feel bad

the way he can't stop thinking about /that/ conversation. the one that brought on the bad feeling

~ if he can't determine what that feeling is then maybe he can at least pinpoint when that feeling came on

the way he believes that he deserves the hurt that he's experiencing

~ because that's what RSD does. it makes you seek approval and then punishes you when/if you don't find or receive it. it often goes hand in hand with self-esteem issues

believing he should have known to back off even if he wasn't told to directly

~ he's thinking back on the interaction and now has time to analyze it. this is where we see the self-esteem issues arise. arguably both this and the one above are, but I chose this part in particular because of the "should have". he should have done this, should have seen that, should, should, should.

ghost lashing out at him

~ gah! THIS was the trigger. it's so just /there/ and idk if it's so obvious to me b/c i've been in situations like this or if it's obvious to everybody. but it really is like a slap in the face for me, it made /me/ feel a phantom tightness in my chest.

the way he immediately shuts the hell up, and then blurts out an accusation

~ its what I would have done. it's a defensive response of self-preservation. action-reaction. attack-defense-counter attack. this is probably where I realized that i'd 100% be projecting onto this man

Soap pushing Ghost to yell at him. to tell him what he did wrong even if he knows he shouldn't

~ because that's better than being stuck in his head. hell /anything/ is better than being aimlessly stuck in his head, not knowing what exactly what it was that he'd done wrong. if ghost tells him then at least he knows what to beat himself up about. at least he can then work on fixing his flaw(s)

him regretting pushing ghost so far when he doesn't start yelling, but instead starts spitting facts

~ it's horrible when the anger isn't harsh and harmful and sharp, but is instead soft and too calm and almost caring. because when it cuts it's distracting, it gives something to focus on. but when it's soft and caressing you notice everything, it's too much and not enough all at once.

the moment of realization and how he defends himself

~ it's the /oh/ moment but instead of 'im in love' its 'i can't fix this/my poor action has affected someone else'. and he defends himself in the moment but I know in my soul that he definitely did not believe his own words

the jab sent his way and the moment before that

~ the situation that he tried to control in a desperate of self-preservation so he didn't destroy himself later. the way he can feel that control slipping away when ghost doesn't correct his speech. and how he completely loses his grip with that final jab at him

the way he tries to hide the way his stomach drops and tries to deny his need for medical attention

~ of course he would try to hide it. he formed his entire personality to be the one guy that is never bothered by anything, to be the happy guy, the guy that makes everybody happy. if he can't do that then how could he even deserve to be checked out at medical.

ghost's attempt at a joke as he's leaving which only serves to hurt soap more

~ he new that it was a joke. or course he did, he knew the ghost well enough to know that it was supposed to be a joke. and yet it only served to hurt him more on that day.

being wide awake that night, and being too comfortable

~ the way he's wide awake even through he knows he has to get up in a few hours, because he can't stop thinking. the way he moves to the floor bc the bed it too comfortable. it's too nice, he doesn't deserve it. he fucked up and so should be punished. the feeling is so so real to me, and i've been in this exact situation many times before.

his tired mother blowing up at him after a long day. and how it feels the same with his current situation with ghost

~ my mom also had and does blow up at me after a long day of work (especially bc the people at her job are shitty... y'all didn't need to know that) Soap obviously doesn't blame his mother. it's not her fault she had a bad day and that he was being annoying. it's not her fault that she needed an outlet and he just so happened to be annoying enough to be that source. and of course ghost yelled at him. he was being annoying AND he almost ruined the mission. ghost had every reason to be angry at him. that didn't mean it hurt any less tho.

the way he wished that he was being punished for doing something so incredibly terrible that they'd really hurt him

~ it feels wrong to be feeling the way he does for what had happened. it was an over reaction. maybe if he had done something truly terrible it would make sense why it felt like everybody despised him. but he hadn't which means the everybody hates him for him, not for something he did... and how could he fix that. changing his cations was easy, it just took a little extra thought... but to change /himself/? he doesn't even know how he'd go about doing that. where would he start? how would he know when it was enough? what if it was never enough?

needing to feel some sort of stimulation (specifically pain) which he dies himself which sends him into a dissociative state

~ i know the feeling. i constantly find my hair everywhere from doing just this. it's grounding, being able to feel something gives you something to focus on in the moment.

the way he tries to find a reason for not being kicked out of the 141, and how his thoughts migrate from one topic to another

~ this circles back to the self-esteem issues; he feels that the only thing keeping him in the task force is what he can do for the others, rather than himself. his thoughts kinda going from this to ghost to his feelings for the man. you can see the path or his thoughts, the problem is keeping a hold of those thoughts.

him wanting to wreak himself so he could rebuild in his own image, and how he desperately tries to find any sort of connection so he wasn't alone in his feelings

~ he feels that his current self is inadequate. too flawed. too much for others. not worthy of anything. and he want's to feel justified in his feelings, to not be alone in that feeling. he knows ghost hides simon, but he also knows that ghost doesn't seek to 'fix' himself the way he does.

Soap self-soothing himself

~ to me this shows that (like me) he feels like he is acting/feeling this way fro attention. even though there is nobody around to witness his breakdown, and the fact that he actively tried to hide his crumbling state

the way he accept his shortcomings, but in the way that it still hurts him

~ like I mentioned before he cannot change himself. not at his core. but he CAN change his actions. and if everything about himself meant that he was a terrible person, and that when he died it would be clear as day for everyone to see. well then maybe if he built a facade of good actions , just maybe that would lessen the blow of the terribleness that is himself. and GOD is he determined not to fuck it up. because he can't fuck it up because if he does then he is well and truly fucked. and not only that, if he messes up then it affects the people around him as well, and that would make his badness multiply tenfold.

this was supposed to be both chapter 1 and 2 but apparently I like to talk lol. I'll link the next chapter at the top when i finish it.

Tav, let me know if you want me to tag you in the next part

#El rambles #El over-analyzes #cod #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #I.S.B.T.P.K.F.T.S

[7thewise]

I honestly love that Finn improvised the “You’re my superhero” line bc that immediately gives the callback to El’s letter in ep 4 where she says she’s gone off to become a superhero again

#it really brings their relationship back full circle from the beginning of the season tbh #and it also calls back to when Mike says she’s a superhero when they had there fight too #and I’m just repeating what ppl have said already but I love how Mike STILL puts the superhero emphasis on El #when she HATES to be singled out for her powers #bc Brenner did that and look where he ended up lol #anyways I love analyzing st and the little things that’ll lead up to the big picture #especially when it’s been repeated over and over again #stranger things #ramblings #mike wheeler #byler

[chipadequeso]

jason put your walkerman on and hum. close your eyes while we redecorate. am i overanalyzing too much

#buscandole el pelo al huevo #<- (over)analyzing tag. i guess #falsettos #get parmesan'd

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

CRYINDKJFKDN PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING DUMB I LITERALLY CANNOT EVEN-

#SO WILL LIKING EL. HIS SISTER. IS A POSSIBILITY #MORE THAN HIM BEING FRUITY #OH GOD FORBID A QUEER IN THIS MAINSTREAM TV SHOW #LITERALLY ALL THE ACTORS HAVE SAID/IMPLIED THAT WILLS GAY #GIRL HOW EVEN #THE CISHETS DONT KNOW HOW TO WATCH TV APPARENTLY #LET ALONE ANALYZE IT #LIKE S5 WAS LITERALLY THEM HITTING YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH THE “WILL IS GAY FOR MIKE” #HOW DO YOU EVEN #bylers help me out here 😭 #they have the NERVE to criticize OUR media analysis #byler #mike wheeler i know what you are #will byers #lgbtq #willel SIBLINGS

[mikesbasementbeets]

tempted to say s2 lucas was also a victim of compulsory heterosexuality

#the way dustin is the one obsessing over max while lucas is along for the ride dustin makes all the moves and max's memorable #comebacks that resurface in s4 were originally directed at dustin #max dances with lucas bc he asks (kind of) first and is less 'max girl so must like romantically' than dustin generally #their s3 relationship is......... fraught at best. their cutest moments are platonic while lucas is out there trying to fix mil/ven and max #is falling in love with el..... s4 lucas wanting to be friends again while max hides from herself and her friends and misses el......... #it feels a LOT like people just take for granted the concept that lu/max will be endgame but has anyone fully analyzed all this? bc........ #i do get the feeling from s4 that max IS feeling romantically toward lucas but it feels.... surprised somehow. reluctant. like she was #on the same page as el's 'he's my first boyfriend' and is surprised to find herself affected by lucas's romantic inclinations #idk i'm trying to analyze but i'm bad at it it's going VERY slowly bc i keep getting distracted but i hope i can finish it one day #beets posts

[queenkinqs]

the virgin reputation vs the chad thank u next

#ik they arent remotely similar but i think tun does a better job at analyzing what having ur love life over exposed to the tabloids does #to a famous person. especially when ur ariana grande and its 2018 and ur ex who's greatly influenced u as a person died and then u call off #ur engagement to the person who you've been together with for like 5 months #which is also why i dont understand why arianators want another tun like HUH #i mean seeing ari become so successful and become the standard for albums in the streaming age is cool and all but she was under so much #trauma like idk why anyone would want that for their fav much less another human being. #with that being said i think tay's surface level commentary on cancel culture and whatnot to be pretty uninteresting and boring LOL. #especially when the production isn't as slick as kanye (the person who most of the diss songs are based on) #i just think it's funny now especially when drake might be on rep taylor's version for a kanye diss track even tho he #basically lost the beef in 2021 el oh el #im not a kanye defender or anything i just think it's silly when someone as goofy as drake beefs with him #shut up birdy

[thefirstlie]

im so glad i don't post analysis anymore girl what was i doing

#yes i used to analyze shit. a Lot #i dont anymore because my brain melted hope this helps #i still enjoy reading analysis though like . i have no issues w that i just dont write it anymore #because most of my analysis was absolute shit and i think someone blocked me over one analysis that i posted #because it was factually incorrect (which it was!!! i fully admit that) #and then vagueposted about it 😭😭😭 el em a o #anyways. we r a headcanon blog now mostly

[dumbblond3]

Imagine wearing Christmas lingerie for Abby & Ellie…

Abby the more serious of the two would be confused as to why you called her into your bedroom, that is until she sees you sitting on your shared bed wearing a red lace babydoll set with fuzzy white trim. She can’t help but let out a small laugh at your look surprised to see you make such a bold move. As she saunters over to you she questions “where’d you come up with this number baby?” Letting a smirk make its way across her face “wanted to give you an early Christmas present abs” you reply with mischief in your eyes. While she can surely see the humor in this situation to Abby there’s nothing funny about her pretty girl looking so ready to be taken and she wastes no time in doing just that. Let’s just say you slept plenty good that night having no trouble falling asleep even with your bubbling excitement of Christmas morning arriving soon.

Ellie is much less stoic and often up to her own antics so you knew dressing up in skimpy red satin (complete with a little bow for her to untie) would be the perfect Christmas Eve surprise. When Ellie comes home from a long day of last minute gift shopping to find the fireplace lit and you on the couch in your pretty little set she swears her heart stops. She doesn’t even bother with a greeting before she’s rushing to kick her shoes off by the door and practically sprint over to you. Before you can even blink her lips are on yours in a kiss even hotter than the blazing fire. When Ellie finally finds the restraint to pull back she takes a moment to admire you, analyzing every last feature as if she’s committing this to memory. “els you know you can untie this little bow here” you whisper meeting her gaze as it lands back at your face and then down to your bust where said bow awaits. Soon enough that little bow and the rest of your clothes are long forgotten as Ellie spends the night indulging in you and enjoying her present.

a/n: Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and happy holidays! I hope you enjoyed this Christmas Eve treat ;)

#ellie williams #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #ellie williams x reader #abby anderson smut #ellie williams smut

[totheblood]

superposition. (one)

pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader

summary: you've never been on a date, hell, you've never even kissed anyone. ellie decides to be a good best friend and teach you how! wow.. so kind of her..

warnings: 18+, nearly every chapter will have a somewhat sexual element to it (this one is probably the tamest?), cursing, alcohol/drug mention, suggestive themes... cheating if u squint

a/n: i want bff!ellie and that's all... friends to lovers??? fav trope. i hope i do this justice and i hope you guys like it... ai audios at the end as usual

"in every universe, you are my dark star."

You felt like a fucking loser.

Well, you usually felt like a loser, but as you sat on Dina’s couch researching what to wear on a first date you felt absolutely lame. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been asked out on a date before, it’s just that no one you liked had asked you out on a date before. A girl had never asked you out on a date before. But since the cute girl from your chemistry lab had asked you if you wanted to go to dinner with her, you happily agreed.

You were just… inexperienced and although it never bothered you before as you approached the time for your date you were becoming increasingly more nervous. What to wear, what to order, and what to talk about were all things you were not familiar with and you wanted to be, if anything, overly prepared. So you did the only thing you knew how to: Google it. 

Your feet were tucked under your legs as you sat crisscrossed on the couch. From the living room, you could hear Dina and Jesse laughing in the kitchen as they snacked on whatever they had available in their pantry. Ellie was sat at the dining room table with a scale in front of her, measuring and sorting loose flowers into dime bags. This was what a regular Friday night looked like for your friends. It usually ended in Ellie passing around one of her pre-rolls as you watched a shitty movie Jesse had suggested, but tonight you planned to leave early for your date.

As if Ellie could sense the tension rolling off of you from her place at the table, she plopped herself next to you on the couch, startling you from your anxious state. 

“Jesus, fuck-” You looked at Ellie with wide eyes, her green ones staring back and searching your face as if she was analyzing you. “We need to put a bell on you. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I practically stomped over here, it’s not my fault that whatever-” She gestured back and forth between you and your phone. “Is going on with that stopped you from hearing me.” 

You rolled your eyes at her fully knowing she was right but not wanting to give her that satisfaction. “Yeah, whatever.”

“Soooo,” She began, drawing out the sound as she placed her arm behind you on the couch and leaned into you. “What’s got you all nervous today? I swear whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous.”

You groaned, leaning your head back and into Ellie’s arm. You tilted your head slightly to look at her. She looked comfortable in her grey hoodie, her other hand tucked into the pocket. Her eyes were locked on yours and her eyebrows knit together. She was concerned about you. If the reason you were freaking out wasn’t so juvenile you would be eating this up, but instead you just felt guilty. It annoyed you how well she knew you sometimes.

“It’s so stupid, El.” Your voice came out in a whisper almost as if you were telling her a secret. “You’re gonna laugh at me” Her face softened as she offered you a small smile.

“How much do you wanna bet it’s not stupid?” She leaned her head back on the couch, trying to match your posture. “And if I laugh you have full permission to punch me.” 

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a second. You knew that she would never make fun of you for freaking out over a date, but that didn’t stop you from being reluctant to say it out loud. 

“I have a date tonight.” When you opened your eyes you scanned her face looking for a hint of a smile, something that would tell you not to stress. Instead, you saw a different emotion flicker over her face, something you couldn’t quite place. Shock? No. Sadness? No. Disappointment? Close enough. It didn’t make much sense to you but as quick as it was there, it was gone.

“And?” She didn’t sound annoyed, but she didn’t sound happy for you. For the first time in your life, you were having a difficult time reading her.

“And I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been on a date before.” With your admission, you squinted your eyes causing your nose to scrunch. The reaction you were getting from Ellie was hard to read and you were already beginning to feel extremely embarrassed. When you finally did adjust your vision to look at her she just looked confused.

“Why did I not know you’ve never been on a date?” 

“Cause I never told you.” You laughed, a downturned smile on your face. “Not really the best talking point.” You were trying to lighten the mood but Ellie’s expression never changed.

“I mean, it makes sense.” She casually said. If you were anyone else you may have laughed it off, but the sentence cause a sharp pain in your chest. Your mouth fell open as you gasped and playfully pushed her shoulder.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Her eyes widened as she realized how you took her sentence.

“No, no- fuck. I just mean like you spend all your time with me. You never really talk about anyone, I’m not saying no one would date you cause obviously I know that’s not true, I just mean… I didn’t mean it like that.” She rambled out, a frantic look on her face.

“Damn, Ellie. Tell me how you really felt.” The smile crept back up on her face as she realized you were teasing her.

“So you’ve never been on a date? So what?” She shrugged, trying to steer the conversation back in it’s original direction.

“So I don’t know what to wear, or what to talk about, or howtokiss.” You mumbled the last part of your sentence together hoping she wouldn’t notice, but she was Ellie and she noticed almost everything.

“Wear that pink floral dress you have, the one that makes your boobs look amazing. Talk about yourself, it’s a date, the whole point is to get to know each other. And what was that last thing you said?” When she spoke to you everything she said seemed so casual, but you weren’t like her. You couldn’t brush over the fact that she just told you not only does she know your wardrobe without thinking too much about it, but also makes a note of how you look in them. How your tits look in them. 

“Uhm-” You cleared your throat. “I don’t know how to kiss. I’ve never done it before.” You reluctantly admitted. Again you expected Ellie to laugh at you, but she just stared at you, then your lips. 

“Well, I can show you.” She shrugged, eyes trained on you. Your mouth hung open, unsure of what to do. On one hand, kissing your best friend never seems like a good idea, on the other hand, you could use the practice.

“I mean… now?” You asked, your body heating up in anticipation. She looked completely serious, her lips were a straight line and her body seemed completely calm. She was the complete opposite of you. She slightly got up and leaned over you as she peered into the kitchen, presumably checking for Dina and Jesse. As she sat back down she took another quick glance at your lips. 

“Yeah, now. Just a quick lesson before your date.” She said it matter-of-factly almost as if this would just be a case of a friend helping another friend. Like she was offering to help you move or something. A part of you assumed you were overthinking it. If she was so nonchalant about it, then it must not be a big deal. Right? 

“Yeah, okay. It couldn’t hurt, right?” 

“Don’t think so.” She agreed.

“So, what do I do? Do I just-” You placed your phone on the couch between you before cupping her cheek. Ellie placed her hand that was previously in her pocket over yours and moved your hand down to her thigh before leaning in close to you.

“Just relax, I’ll show you how.” Her voice came out in a whisper that you could feel ghost your lips. You were unsure of when she got so close but you could smell her, feel her short and rapid breaths coming from her nose. If you moved an inch your lips would be on hers, but you decided to let her take control.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as she closed the small gap between your faces and pressed her chapped lips against yours. Your eyelids fluttered closed as you froze, unsure of what to do next. Her hand that was still resting on yours tapped the back of your hand. Almost instinctively you parted your lips and hummed when her tongue tentatively brushed against yours. It almost felt natural, her tongue in your mouth and your hand on your thigh, but as she slowly pulled her face back from you, you suddenly wanted more. 

Your free hand grabbed the back of her head, your lips capturing hers once again. You were fighting to feel her tongue in your mouth again but understood what she wanted when her lips parted. Her hand which had been resting behind your head for a better part of your conversation had made its way down to your waist and gently pulled you into her. Your chests were impossibly close together and every little noise you made caused her to get more and more aggressive. Your whole body was burning and you were attempting to ignore the wetness that was growing at your center, but Ellie just kept going. She guided your hand further up her thigh, humming into your mouth as you brushed your thumb over her inner thigh.

With the hand that was previously trapped in your hair, you steadied yourself with a hand on her shoulder as you pushed her back in an attempt to straddle her. Both your hands had moved. Her hands found their place at the base of your hips and yours were gripping the back of her neck. Her lips felt like fucking magic as she began to suck on your bottom lip. You could feel a tightness in your core, something you were all too familiar with. Your clothed hips ground down on hers, causing her to gasp and break away from you instantly.

“Fuck, fuck. Okay.” She sighed, leaning away from you and gently pushing you away from her. When you got a good look at her her lips were swollen and eyes red and glossy. You wanted to kiss her again, you wanted to relieve the pain you were beginning to feel, but the situation was beginning to set in for you. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never done that before.” She blinked up at you, her hands rubbing at your sides distracting you. Your mind was practically empty. 

“Was I okay?” You asked bashfully, causing her to snort. All she did was lean up and press a kiss to the side of your lips, before pushing you off of her and back onto the couch. 

“You were more than okay, that was-” She stopped herself as she looked at you. Her eyes scanned your face, staying too long on your lips. “I think your date will go great.” Something in her tone seemed solemn, but she had a gentle smile on her face, and her hand was still hoovering the side of your body.

“Thank you.” You said quietly, eyes never leaving her. 

“I should get back to work, and you should go get ready.” She pushed herself off the couch and made her way back to the dining room table, leaving you sitting there licking your lips just for the taste of her. A second after her you got up too, grabbing your bag from the coffee table in front of you. Ellie turned back around to look at you from the table. 

“Wear the dress, and uh-” She stopped to look you up and down. “Text me when you get home tonight.”

ai audios:

#mine #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fan fic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams oneshot #modern!ellie williams #college!ellie williams #ellie williams one shot #dealer!ellie #dealer!ellie x reader

[kamotecue]

Caitlin Foord x reader: Reader and Caitlin are secretly dating but the internet kind of knows what’s going on. A kiss after the France v aus world Cup game shocks the world and confirms their relationship

breaking the internet ❁ c. foord

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

if there was a way to describe how you’re feeling, you’d say displeased and out of sorts. perhaps it was the way you had just gotten knocked out of the world cup by the matildas.

you chuckled, hurt at the fact that your team had lost—to a penalty shootout. the aussies are a formidable team, you know as ellie carpenter who had been in the same club as you.

the blonde had took a seat beside you, as she knew what it was like to lose a game—an important one at that.

“well played, el.” your thick french accent was heard, ellie gave you a small hum as you played with your fingers.

“you did as well, n/n. however, i think a certain teammate of mine would like to talk to you.” ellie said, as you both had looked over to where the high-spirited trio were.

caitlin had a soft gaze on you, while she maintained a small conversation with lanna and macca.

“right, thanks el.” you heard her hum as you slowly stood up, dusting your shorts as you made your way to caitlin, the aussie who happened to steal your heart.

“mind if i borrow her, ladies?” your soft voice was heard, as alanna brought you into her arms, always one for comforting she is. while the goalkeeper had given you a small smile, which you had returned.

“i’m yours.” caitlin said, as lanna had separated from you—jokingly gagging at her friend’s sweet words. while the other party had her nose scrunched at her friend’s cheesiness.

you gave a shy smile, never one to have public affection in front of others. it was just subtle hand holding, or words of affirmation. it was the way you both had disregarded the people in the stadium, despite the noises from the crowd—you only paid attention to her.

“i’m sorry, puddin.” caitlin said, as you shook your head.

“you don’t need to apologize, ma moitié. [my better half]” her heart swooned at the endearment as she held your hand, swinging it softly. you knew the fans would go crazy, the edits that they would make.

the two of you weren’t exactly out as a couple, but fans from both teams had suspected it. yet the fans weren’t expecting it, no one was rather.

you had come to a stop, caitlin had noticed as she furrowed her eyebrows, analyzing your next move.

breaking the internet with a kiss was one thing—you wrapped your arms around the taller girl’s neck, pulling her a bit closer and gently locking her lips with yours.

the sudden screams from the fans as they had finally witness the two of you come out as a couple. macca and alanna glanced with a teasing look, before focusing back on the fans.

you felt caitlin grinning into the kiss, of course she would. she had been wanting to go public, but you were a bit hesitant. she had wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you even closer—as you hummed into the kiss.

she was yours, and you were hers. each others to protect.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso one shot #arsenal wfc imagine #matildas x reader #auswnt x reader #caitlin foord imagine #caitlin foord x reader #caitlin foord

[forestshadow-wolf]

I.S.B.T.P.K.F.T.S moments (chapter 2)

fic link written by @tavtarnish.

I want to add something from chapter 1: where soap says he'll give ghost, quote "the military's wet dream of a sergeant"

~ he's gonna do it our of spite. not for himself, but rather for /himself/. he's gonna do it to spite the terribleness that is himself. like 'im a terrible person but maybe its a little less bad bc i maybe did some good'

chapter 1 chapter 2

waking up on the floor

~ honestly... yeah. happens more often than i'd like to admit

him missing some part of his old self, but also not, but also sometimes he does

~ that might not have made sense, but in my head that ^^^ statement is perfectly clear. like I wish I was like my younger self, but at the same time I worked so hard to be at this point so I don't really miss the old me. tho it would be nice not to have the back problems.

him waking up late

~ it's such a normal thing to happen, but at the same time i feel like every time every time I have a bad night, it's just setup for the next day. it happens every time without fail, maybe there is a reason behind that, but im not gonna think too hard about it. anyway from his standpoint the day is going great /sar. like so far he's (1) woken up on the floor, meaning his night was definitely terrible (2) it ruined his neck... so that's fun (3) woken up late. even if it's not too late it messes everything up. I won't be counting anymore of his morning mishaps , I only did this time because these three (3) things most definitely happened withing 1-2 minutes of waking up

automatically foregoing the hair for his teeth (or doing any of his morning routine in general)

~ first thing's first, the way he skips his hair (which is obviously an important part of his character) so he could brush his teeth. he only realizes that it'll be a problem when it's too late. second thing, honestly, as embaressing as it is for me to admit... if this happened to me i'd 100% just going 'woe is me' and end up doing nothing until I absolutely had to get up. so I admire that about him.

the way it's Gaz behind him instead of Ghost's usual presence, and the way he's glad about it

~ it'd be hard to Face ghost so soon after yesterday's interaction, not to mention that night. plus he did commit to making big changes, so why not one more. I mean his routine is already fucked, and he's resolved to be a better Sergent, so why not one more big change. as a person who automatically tries their best to avoid their problems, well honestly it'd be relieving to think that I don't immediately have to face my problem.

Ghost shows up, and gaz and ghost on the topic of his hair

~ of course ghost is here, when one goes the other follows. it's ghost AND soap not OR. anyway, them talking about his hair. probably his most distinguishing feature, that he most definitely takes much pride in. Gaz's statement didn't hurt, it was teasing and friendly but ghost's? yeah that one stung. for one it was /Ghost/ that said it, his best friend, his favorite person, his- his- well it didn't matter who he was to him other than his lieutenant. not only that but literally less than 6 hours ago he decided he'd be a better Sergent, and now Ghost his lieutenant is telling him that he's already failing at that. why can't he get anything right? why is he so bad at what he's supposed to be good at? it's not even that difficult to take care or, it would take two seconds. why couldn't he have just done it?

the general topic of his hair in this chapter

~ I feel like it's kinda a small detail, it's only mentioned a handful of times, and all in passing moments. maybe i'm reading too much into this, but it just feels so important and personal... or maybe it's giving a little insight on how he's feeling, messy, unkept, perhaps a little disastrous.

/that/ feeling coming back because ghost is here, and him refusing to acknowledge it

~ again he doesn't even know why he's feeling it so why bother acknowledging

him refusing to banter with ghost, or to make jokes with him

~ i guess the first step to this whole changing thing was to be on time and look professional (or at least presentable) which he's already messed up. but second would probably be to act professional, especially around your superior. this only works if you don't mess up... so don't mess up. this goes for jokes to deflect as well, so go ahead and scrap those. denying himself something that he wants and enjoys doing... ouch

ghost's confusion at soap's change of character and soap's refusal to see it

~ "what's wrong with soap? why isn't he talking? is he sick? is it the wound? did somebody say something? maybe it's just a bad morning, I mean he /did/ neglect to take care of his hair this morning." why would ghost be confused about me not speaking? if anything he's probably happy i'm not running my mouth. for once im acting my rank. this chapter is HEAVY on those self-esteem issues

gaz being the one to relieve the tension

~ wait- hang on that- that's not right. right? it's soap's job to do that it /was/ soap's job to do that... not anymore. oh... I guess that /is/ Gaz's job now...

soap's desperation to just /tell/ someone about it. all of it. and yet still he hides it.

~ of course he wants to tell someone because who is he if not a nuisance. Wanting to push his problems onto someone else, Wanting to bother other people. And he refuses to tell anyone because, again, that's not what his personality is supposed to be. That's not who /he's/ supposed to be. that want to just spill, to have somebody hear you so it's not just in your head

the way he cannot stand to be around anybody, but swallows his discomfort

~ it's all just too much, too much, too much. he wants to leave, he needs to get out of here. he can't breath. he's gonna be sick. but he can't. it's not what johnny would have done, johnny would be ecstatic to be around gaz and ghost. soap maybe would have, if he was nothing but a name, no personality, where disapproval didn't matter to him; but he isn't soap, nor can he be. Sergent Mactavish can't leave either, not if he is to be the disciplined little soldier he needs to be. right now he's none of these people, right now he's john; the overwhelmed teenager. and john is trying to fit into an outfit that doesn't fit, the sleeves are too long, the shoulders too tight, the legs too short. but at least he doesn't have to choose which one to force on. johnny has no energy to come out, and soap is buried; lost in the mess that is his mind, that leaves Sergent Mactavish. scraping the bottom of the barrel he finds the will to muster up a hopefully convincing smile. this moment is so very real to me, it's something i've done way too many times before. and refusing to voice his discomfort? not only because it ruins the mood, and perhaps because he almost feels like he deserves that discomfort.

his excuse

~ really? his alarm? /that/ was the best he could come up with? he knows it's a bullshit excuse. that's the equivalent of "just tired", tho unlike me, Ghost knows that it's a BS response. he knows ghost knows. of course the man does, just like soap knows ghost's tells, ghost knows soap's tells.

"be a good soldier"

~ gah-damn! that's EXACTLY how I talk to myself when im in this type of headspace

AGAIN WITH THE HAIR!!!

~ yes im freaking about the hair again. I DON'T KNOW WHY. his hair is long, he's neglected it a bit... just like he's neglecting himself?

soap being overly formal

~ it causing the silence between them into something uncomfortable as if something has changed. because something /has/ changed... ghost clearly doesn't like the change in his Sergent.

his nervous tics

~ the way he has to focus so hard on not doing them, and how he almost defaults back to bootcamp posture.

the tension between them

~ only being broken by price, but it still not rubber-banding back to their former status

him changing his showing personality with price's arrival

~ I do the same thing. in every situation, good or bad, differing friend groups, ect. the way he even 'blends' personalities in a way. he's only doing so to avoid questioning.

him being formal with ghost, him throwing himself entirely into his work

~ the way he automatically switches to formal setting with ghost. I am now seeing that this is the RSD coming into play, where he's seeking ghost's approval or at least not attracting his ire. and him completely focusing on his task so he doesn't get to think too much about how ghost is watching him. I find that if you look busy people generally won't bother or disturb you.

look I probably missed a ton seeing as how my prime writing hors is between midnight and 3am, and it is very much not that time right now... and I also had people trying to peep my writing which is awkward lol

anyway if you see typos... no you don't. if i find more stuff from this chapter I'll add it to the beginning of the next part

#El rambles #El over-analyzes #I.S.B.T.P.K.F.T.S #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #cod #cod mw2 #im hardcore projecting onto this man

[skele-ghost]

Baby, it’s Hot Outside: Part 1

I wrote this like 8 months ago as a smut fic…and never got to the smut part. Rest assured, there will be smut eventually.

MDNI, 18+, Warnings: Omegaverse AU, being sick, mentions of illicit drug use, people yelling?

See prologue for summary and masterlist

You’ve been with the 141 for about six months. A decent amount of time, plenty of missions—but you still feel like you’re the outsider, somehow.

It’s because they’re a pack, the five of them, and you’re the tag-along coworker, the specialist. You’re all good friends, sure, but they’re all mates. You don’t stand half a chance against a bond like that.

You keep your sorrows to yourself, though—your envy. They’re all happy together, and you’re happy for them, even if part of your heart aches for that kind of love and affection you’ve never known.

You’re a beta, we’re raised by betas, in a beta-dominant community. Your health class in school didn’t even cover the other dynamics, and even in college all of your irl friends had been betas.

You’re a loner, anyways. You’re most comfortable behind a computer screen, getting into files you shouldn’t, pulling the strings from the shadows.

That’s how you’d been recruited, anyways (don’t hack into the Pentagon drunk), Laswell taking an interest in your effortless talent and skill for computers and machinery.

After working on a few missions with the 141, you were given a formal invite with a nice pay upgrade that you didn’t want to turn down.

They guys are a little intimidating at times. Ghost is…Ghost. He, Price, and König all being alphas. König worried you at first—he’s something called an Apex Alpha, and while you’re not completely sure what that means, you know that the term comes from ‘apex predator’ and connected the dots from there.

But it turns out he’s just a big sweetheart. Yeah, he’s the team’s human battering ram, and yeah, he gets a little scary on the field; but none of them, not even König, had made you feel threatened or unsafe.

Maybe that’s why you stay even if you sometimes feel a little left out. You keep yourself occupied with your tasks: hacking, repairing, making little electronics. You’ve all fallen into a comfortable routine with each other, falling into your roles like good little soldiers.

Which is why you’re confused to all hell as to why they seem pissed at you. You keep going over and over it in your mind, each interaction picked over and analyzed, but you come up on a blank.

Ghost had outright shoulder-checked you this morning. You told him to watch it and he glared at you. He hadn’t glared at you since the early days when you were new.

It was worse with Soap. You were closest with him. He always comes in and checks on you since you have a pension for locking yourself away while working which causes you to forget to eat or sleep. Now he’s glaring at you, too.

It didn’t help that you’re all on a mission. Recon, roughing it in sleeping bags, camped out at an old abandoned cluster of cabins. You’re all monitoring a base down below the ridge of the mountain, intent to find intel on El Sin Nombre.

You decide to brush it all off. Maybe they’re just in sour moods? Maybe you really did do something wrong, but until either of them confronted you about it, there was no point in worrying about it.

So you kept busy monitoring the local radio frequencies in your cabin. It’s damn boring, though, and the summer heat of Mexico isn’t helping.

You’d die for an air conditioner right now. Well, you’d die to not be on this mission anymore, to be back on base and have more space away from your colleagues. And you’d die to not have this guilty, worried pit in your stomach. You always get it when something bad is going to happen, the dread getting worse and worse over time. It’s stressing you out, making you sweat even more. You probably stink.

It’s almost a relief when Gaz shows up, creaking the old screen door open, but he looks pissed at you, too, and you want to cry from sheer frustration.

“God, not you, too,” you groan, smoothing your sweaty hair away from your face.

“Captain wants to see you,” Gaz says, sounding angry, confusing her just as much.

“Seriously? This about Ghost and Soap? What did I do?”

Gaz scowls, “don’t play coy, Seraph, he’s not going to like that.”

“What are you—“ you sigh, “you know what? Fine. Maybe he’ll explain why you’re all so pissed at me.”

Being outside in the sunshine, even briefly, makes you feel worse and hotter. You wonder if maybe you’re getting heat exhaustion or something—you aren’t used to being in the field and you’re sure as hell not used to being in the summer heat for so long.

Shit, maybe you’re coming down with something. As you and Gaz march over to the Captain’s cabin, you notice that everything smells different. Off. It’s making you nauseous.

When you step into the cabin, you know you’re in for it. Captain Price is standing at his desk, glowering down at you. Soap is standing a little ways behind him, his arms crossed, and Ghost is sitting in the back corner like the spook he’s named after, arms crossed.

It takes a hell of a lot of restraint not to curse under your breath, but you manage.

“Take a seat, Private,” the captain gestures at the chair in front of the desk and you have no room to argue.

You hate when they call you that—Private. It’s not even your rank. Technically you have none, you’re a specialist, and you never enlisted. You were a CIA Special Agent before all of this. Why they picked ‘private’ out for you, you have no idea, but you do feel like it undermines your hard work. You’re not some E-1, after all.

Everyone’s eyes on you makes you want to squirm, but you hold fast. It smells overwhelmingly like several different things: cigars, whiskey, cinnamon, wood smoke, the wild flowers that are outside.

Your guts keep screaming that something is wrong, wrong, wrong.

“You’ve put this mission in jeopardy, Seraph. I have half a mind to relieve you of duty and send you home,” Price says, his voice terse.

“Sir?” You ask, wanting him to elaborate, to tell you what you did wrong so that you can fix it.

“You set König off, he’s up at the deer blind refusing to come down,” he adds, voice rising in volume.

You frown, now noticing his missing figure. “König? What’s wrong with him,” you ask, concerned.

Your Captain lets out a disingenuous chuckle, which probably would’ve made your blood run cold if you weren’t so hot.

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” he says, practically growling. “We can tell. There’s no hiding it.”

“Wh—“

“Why did you do it?” Soap interrupts, fuming. “You’ve been part of the team for nearly two years, you don’t think you can trust us?”

The CIA training kicks in and you keep your mouth shut for the moment. This is starting to sound like a set up—like you’re being pinned for something you didn’t do. Or like they think you’re lying about something and are waiting for you to spill first.

But the other part of you, the part that knows your team, doesn’t think so. Maybe that part of you just doesn’t want to imagine them betraying you.

Price sighs, stepping away from the table, running his hands down his face. A sour smell begins to stack in the room and you crinkle your nose.

You hate confrontation. It was your biggest downfall, considering that you now work in special forces. You’d just barely passed your interrogation training after four attempts—yelling people upset you, which is why you never thought you’d be working alongside the military.

“I don’t…know what this is about,” you say, your voice small and meek.

“Yes, you do,” Price insists, crossing his arms, and before you can open your mouth the screen door opens again.

Gaz comes in holding your medicine, the ziplock bag stuffed with your prescribed medications and supplements.

“What the fuck,” you whisper as he puts it on the table, and then raise your voice, “that’s a HIPAA violation, you can’t just take those!”

Gaz’s hand on your shoulder is the only thing stopping you from taking your bag back. Price points at the bag, “which ones are the heat suppressants? I’m giving you a chance to come clean, (L/N).”

“Come cle—“ you stop yourself, frowning as you try to pull the new piece of evidence into the mix. “You…think I’m abusing prescription drugs?”

Soap huffs, “let me see, I know what they look like.”

Price hands him the bag, and everyone’s still just glaring at you while you try and think.

“What are you looking for, opiates? I’ve never been prescribed—“

“The heat suppressants, (L/N), where are they?!” Soap shouts, tossing the bag back onto the table. “Do you ‘ave any idea what that shite does to your body? They can kill you!”

You take in a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Your head is starting to pound with all this shouting. “What the fuck are you guys talking about? What are heat suppressants?”

“Oh, come on,” Ghost growls, rising from his chair in the corner and stalking over. “Quit acting daft and tell us the truth!”

Soap’s hand on his chest holds him back from coming any closer. You’re about ready to cry, now, swallowing down the lump in your throat. You have to stay calm, that’s what your training taught you.

“You can be discharged for this,” Price continues, still angry. “Hiding any medical history can get you booted, especially your designation!”

“My designation?” You furrow your brow, “I never lied about my designation, I’m a beta.”

“You fucking—“ But Soap holds Ghost back, walking him to sit back down in the chair in the corner. He’s livid. You’ve never seen any of them so mad.

“No, you’re not,” Price says, and you can tell how hard it is to keep himself calm and at an even tone of voice. “Heat suppressants might’ve tricked your body into thinking that, but that’s not the truth, is it, (Y/N)?”

This is beyond frustrating. Fuck being calm, you’re on your last nerve, “what the hell are heat suppressants, and why the fuck do you think I’m taking them? And for the love of god, will one of you motherfuckers tell me what I’m being accused of here?!”

Your voice echos in the old cabin for a minute. Somehow, that managed to shut them up and get them thinking. Less angry now, they look at you with confusion, apprehension.

“You really don’t know what’s going on?” Gaz asks next to you, and you glance up at him briefly.

“No! How many times do I have to tell you fuckers?” You wince at the ache in your skull that’s becoming worse, “and will someone pass me a Tylenol? Y’all are making my head hurt.”

You rest your face in your hands, trying to get your erratic breathing to calm down along with your skipping heart.

“(Y/N), when was your last heat?” Soap asks, his voice much, much more gentle.

You look up at him, squinting, “huh? I never had heat exhaustion before. My mama did, when I was little…”

“I think she’s serious,” Gaz says, as if you’re not right next to him.

“Shit,” someone says, and you can’t really tell who. You look up when you hear the sound of your medicine bag again, Soap fishing out two Tylenols and handing them to you along with a nearby water bottle.

“Thanks,” you mutter, quickly downing the pills and the rest of the water. Looking around the room at everyone again, you almost wish they were angry again. The anxious looks of worry on their faces is much worse, because they’re worried about you, and you don’t know what for.

Price sighs, sitting down at his desk chair. “You’ve never had a heat before?”

“That’s what I just said,” you quip, snippier than usual.

Price glances up at Soap, who nods, and then he looks back at you. “That’s not what this is, Seraph. You’re going into heat. You’re an omega.”

—

You scrunch your face up, frowning. “No, I’m a beta,” you insist, voice soft.

“No, (Y/N), you’re not.” Your captain pinches the bridge of his nose, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him at a total loss for words.

“You’re going inta heat, bonnie,” Soap says. “Even Gaz can smell you.”

You freeze, picking up the collar of your shirt and taking an experimental whiff of yourself. No, it just smells like sweat and laundry detergent.

“Am I the one that smells weird?” You ask, “because it does smell weird.”

“No, that’s us,” Soap explains. “Your nose is sharper now that you’re going into heat.”

“Mm-hmm,” you say, not believing a word of it. “But there’s no way I’m an omega. Both sides of my parents lineage goes back six generations—all betas. It’s literally impossible.”

“You never had the genetic testing done?” Soap asks. Testing can be done when you’re born to best guess what you’ll present as by looking at your dominant genes.

“There was no reason to, seeing as there’s a 0% chance of me being anything other than a beta,” you argue, wiping the sweat from your chin. “I mean, if I’m an omega, then Soap’s King of Scotland.”

“And it’s damn good to be king,” Soap says, crossing his arms.

Price shakes his head, “it’s not a debate, sweetheart, you are an omega. Is it possible you’re adopted?”

“What?! No!” Your head snaps up to glare at him, “my mom would’ve told me.”

“Have you seen your birth certificate?”

You roll your eyes, “have you seen yours?”

“I have mine,” he raises his eyebrows at you and you sigh.

“My ma lost the original copy—house fire,” you explain, but you know you’re not wrong. “Even if I was, that wouldn’t change anything, right? You present your designation in puberty, and I never presented, therefore…beta.”

You cross your arms.

“Then explain the smell,” Ghost says, speaking up from his quiet corner. You had almost forgotten about him.

“Obviously I’m sick,” you say, “maybe I ate something bad.”

“We all ate the same thing,” Ghost sighs, unsatisfied with your answer.

“Allergic reaction. I’ve never been to Mexico; we touch plants all the time.” That one’s more feasible, you think.

“That’s not—“

“Alright, enough,” Price says, stopping yours and Ghost’s banter. “Arguing about this isn’t going to change anything.”

“Right,” Soap agrees, walking over to you. “Whether you’re sick, or in heat, or having an allergic reaction, you need rest.”

“But who’s gonna monitor the radio?” You’re a little wobbly as Soap hauls you to your feet, but you shake it off.

“Gaz knows how to use the equipment,” Soap says and you begin walking out of the cabin and back to yours.

“Who’s gonna do Gaz’s job?”

“Me, probably.”

“Then who’s gonna do your job?”

“Quit it, (L/N).”

—

A/N: If you made it this far, thanks! I’ve recently been inspired by the fic authors I follow to post my own content. I write a lot, mostly for my own enjoyment, but I’ve never really shared anything except this and the Graves fic I posted forever ago. I think I’m gonna post fic like this that I’m comfortable with and see where it goes. I’m not taking requests and I can’t guarantee I’ll reply to messages or asks, but I will look at them lol

#cod mw2 #cod x reader #task force 141 #cod omegaverse #omegaverse au #cod ghost #ghost x reader #ghost cod #cod soap #cod gaz #cod price #konig cod #konig x reader #cod x fem!reader #john soap mactavish #john price #simon ghost riley #konig x y/n #kyle gaz garrick #fem reader #baby it’s hot outside

[jesncin]

Coddling Colonizer Guilt

"Performative diversity is when MAWS features a Native American variant of Lois Lane in the multiverse episode only to end the season on a Thanksgiving episode."

...is something I like to joke with my friends as a shorthand for referencing MAWS' squeamish approach to politics while still trying to reap the clout of "diverse representation". I want to get my thoughts out there and perhaps start a discussion over why this feels off.

Some disclaimers: Firstly, I'm not Native American. Understand this is an observation I'm making from an outsider perspective with no personal authority. I'm just a disappointed Asian Lois Lane fan. Secondly, I know the MAWS crew/creators had no malicious intent in any of these (what I consider) poor writing decisions. I'm simply here to challenge and analyze these narrative and visual choices.

MAWS takes a fairly controversial take on Superman mythos so far. Unlike Superman's historic roots as an allegory for Jewish immigrants with Clark coming from a Kryptonian socialist utopia (leading the imperfect people of Earth to a better tomorrow), MAWS chooses instead to reimagine Superman as a descendant from a planet of "alien invaders". If the leaked(?) concept art (warning potential spoilers for s2) is to be believed, Clark is the direct descendent of the leaders of the "Kryptonian Empire". Supposedly gone are the parents of Superman being scientists that warn of the destruction of their home planet- instead we have the "proud, loving, brilliant" "leaders of the Kryptonian Empire".

While we don't know if this is the direction the show is going in, there are already cryptic hints of it being planted and thematic elements set up that point to it being a possibility. Clark had spent a majority of the season wondering what/who he is (being incapable of talking to Jor-El's hologram because of a language barrier) only to find out his supposed origins in episode 9. He's devastated learning that he's an alien invader and, once he regroups with his friends, angsts about believing he's a weapon sent from Krypton to invade Earth. Asian-Lois Lane and Black-Jimmy Olsen assure White-passing-alien-man Clark Kent that he's different and not like other colonizers. Clark ultimately saves the day, proving he's an exception. It's curious then that the season ends on Thanksgiving.

As I've mentioned before, MAWS is exhaustively squeamish with getting political. Whatever happens in the show that resembles "themes" is quickly contradicted with very little consistent internal logic. One minute Superman is supposedly a threat that "wipes out good American jobs", should "go back to where he came from" and Lois makes a hope speech about how we shouldn't treat people who "are different" and "don't look like us" (??) with cruelty (so Clark's an immigrant going through xenophobia?) and the next he's a redeemed colonizer (a more prominent thematic arc). One minute Clark is "different" and scared of being othered- likened to a gay couple and allegorically closeted, and the next his friends call him out for being a lying liar for not disclosing his marginalized identity within a week (the narrative frames Lois and Jimmy as being in the right). This show's writing is non-committal with what it wants to say, and largely goes on vibes. That is to say I don't think the writers intended for the themes of colonizer guilt to accidentally tie into Thanksgiving as a set piece for their final episode.

I'm sure the reason the writers chose Thanksgiving as their final episode is because it's "relateable". Half the episode is dedicated to slice of life family reunion shenanigans and the dang turkey still not being cooked through. But in choosing Thanksgiving, the writers told on themselves here with their biases. The existence of Thanksgiving implies the existence of genocide (of Native American people) by colonists in the MAWS universe. And yet Black Jimmy Olsen doesn't know what racism is (Mallah and the Brain give him a judgmental stare as Jimmy admits he can't relate to being violently marginalized) and Asian American Lois Lane doesn't understand immigration and xenophobia (constantly being entitled to Clark's immigrant identity, being incapable of comprehending why he would keep it a secret, because secrets are lies). The MAWS crew wanted a "relateable" set piece but in doing so ended up reinforcing the historical revisionism the holiday entails. A foreign colonizer sharing a meal with his friends of color on Earth, whose culture, history, and identity are all white washed.

I would like to challenge this idea that Thanksgiving is somehow the "relateable" choice. Why pick this holiday? Why not celebrate Thanksgiving as a National Day of Mourning (as some Native Americans do)? Why not pick any Jewish holiday as a nod to Superman's creators (ignoring this version's colonizer interpretation for a second)? Why not pick Lunar New Year, a holiday celebrated by many people including Koreans (Seollal in South Korea)? It could've been another fun opportunity to showcase Lois' heritage, and create a fusion of cultures from Jimmy and Clark's families. At its most non-political and secular, why couldn't they pick any weekend? This is what happens when a show doesn't consider its world building and setting in a holistic way. MAWS will nod to xenophobic rhetoric, portray allegorical queer marginalization, and make the vaguest nods to systemic bigotry (Prof Ivo displaced a whole neighborhood! Yet we never hear from those figurative displaced people). But it does nothing to discuss any of that on a deeper level. Its characters of color don't know what racism is and Thanksgiving is just a fun family reunion, guys.

All this and they had the audacity to sneak in a Native American Lois Lane in the multiverse episode?? Why is she, out of all the Lois Lanes in this screencap, the only one in full traditional wear? Why isn't she in a smart casual business fit like Black Lois and STAS white Lois? Would she not have been recognizably Native American to the non-Native audience otherwise? Isn't this tokenizing? Do you think she has a xenophobic dad in the military like Korean American Lois does?

But that fits MAWS' approach to diversity, doesn't it? Surface level cultural nods, maybe make Lois wear a hanbok one time, and let the audience eat it up. Never mind that both Korean American Lois and Native American Lois have been stripped of their culture and history in every other aspect.

I use the word "relateable" a lot here, but I think the important question to ask is "relateable for who?". 'Immigrant' is too charged a word, so MAWS universalizes Clark's marginalization to "being different". Superman isn't even an immigrant in this version, that was all a smokescreen for the twist that he's actually a descendent of colonizers! Being wracked with colonizer guilt is way more relateable to the white audience than being an immigrant, surely. Thanksgiving is more relateable than celebrating any culturally specific holiday our "diverse reimagining" could have represented. Characters of color being functionally white (in a way that doesn't threaten middle America) is way more relateable. MAWS is a show that doesn't want to delve into Native American history. It would rather put a Native American Lois hologram on a pedestal and call it a day.

#ramblings #jesncin talks maws #media criticism #includes discussion of that leaked(?) concept art btw so warning for potential s2 spoilers #this is long but I wanted to provide context as I talked #hope yall enjoy! and also pls be nice!! #jesncin dc meta

[bueckerssturns]

si no le contesto - s. golbach

sam x latina ! reader

warnings: cursing in spanish, arguing, drinking. use of pet names.

translations will be provided

————————————————————————-

7 missed calls from mi amor

incoming call mi amor

answer decline

1 new voice message!

play delete

“samuel si no contestas ahora mismo ni siquiera pienses en volver a casa, me estas estresando!”

“Samuel, if you don't answer right now, don't even think about coming home, you're stressing me out!”

6 voice messages remaining

play all delete all

“sam, don't forget to pick up the advil before you get home”

“hey sam, i know you're busy but i wanted to let you know that i just finished the report and that probably when you get home i'll be sleeping be careful ok? i love you”

“sam, i'm getting worried answer your phone”

“samuel, enserio ya deja de jugar y contesta tu telefono”

“samuel, seriously, stop playing and answer your phone”

“oye, sam, ya vente a casa, ya es tarde”

“hey, sam, come home, it's already late”

“samuel contesta tu pinche telefono ahora mismo, que estas haciendo?”

“samuel, answer your fucking phone right now, what are you doing?”

the girl paced back and forth in the living room constantly looking at her phone hoping to see at least a message from her boyfriend but nothing.

samgolbach added to their story.

the girl clicked on the notification slightly sick to her stomach that not once did she get a call back from him but he posts on his story like he was not ignoring her calls a few seconds ago.

instagram opened up to the boys story, it was him at a party the flash from the phones camera being the only source of light shining in the boys face as he held a tequila shot towards the camera before shooting it down his throat making a face as the liquid made its way down.

“he could post but not answer my calls or messages? just great.” she thought. as she was analyzing the video it skipped to the next story colby’s story it was a video some what similars to sam’s but sam was in the background talking to a girl but not just any girl his ex.

they were laughing and drinking together before she grabs his hand and starts taking him upstairs that’s when the video cuts off.

not only did he not answer her calls but now he was cheating on her “wait no sam could never cheat on me he’s not the type” she thought as she sat down on the couch “or is he? no don’t doubt that he’s an amazing boyfriend he would never cheat on me” her thoughts raced as she tried to distract herself.

“think about what they could be doing right now, how hes probably doing everything he does to you” the thoughts had her head spinning.

she couldn’t have these thoughts not at this moment. she made her way into her room deciding to just sleep these thoughts away.

-

after a few minutes of tossing and turning to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in the girl was finally tired enough to let sleep take over.

the low creek of the door opening and closing shuffling and the feeling of the bed sinking behind her woke her up she knew it was him the smell of alcohol and perfume not just any perfume a cheap knock off of her favorite perfume filled her nostrils

“hey honey” spoke sam as he placed his hand on her waist “how was your night did you finish that report for work?” he didnt listen to the voice messages

“si, ya lo terminé trajiste el advil que te pedí?” “no, im sorry babe i forgot” liar “oh really?” she asked not looking at him “yea, the meeting lasted longer than i expected” “is that so?” she sarcastically replied grabbing her phone and heading to her instagram and opening it to his story “because according to you and colby’s stories you were at a party” she showed him the video as she pushed him off her to get up.

“yes, i already finished it, did you bring the advil i asked for?”

“what?” his voice slightly lowered “yea, i saw them didn’t think about restricting me first before posting did you? oh and don’t get me started on the fact that you were talking with your ex in colby’s video or the fact that she took you upstairs”

“babe, that’s not true we didn’t go upstairs” he replied as he got out of the bed “don’t try to lie your way out of this! i saw the video and it clearly shows that you two went upstairs!” she argued.

“y/n, please you know i would never do anything to hurt you!” he exclaimed as he slowly walked towards her “no sam, aver donde te vas a dormir porque aquí en mi casa ni te quiero ver”

“no sam, see where you're going to sleep because here at my house I don't even want to see you”

“what y/n you can’t be serious it’s four in the fucking morning!” “ni modo mi amor hubieras pensado en eso antes de llegar a estas horas oliendo a alcohol y perfume barato” she said as she pushed him out of her apartment closing the door in his face and locking it.

“too bad my love, you should’ve thought about that before arriving at this time smelling of alcohol and cheap perfume”

-

1:30pm

mi güero <3

y/n?

babe i’m so sorry i couldn’t make home last night my flight got delayed and i had no service at all

baby? are you mad at me? i’m sorry for not responding sooner or answering your calls you know if i could i would have please don’t be mad at me.

wait you’re probably still sleeping you most likely finished that report so late last night

yup, you did those voice messages you left i’m sorry i couldn’t answer but i’m already in my uber i have the advil and i’m bringing you your favorite breakfast from your favorite restaurant:)

as sam got off the uber making his way into his girlfriends apartment trying to balance the coffee with the breakfast bag his luggage and his phone he carefully unlocked the door making his way inside.

“y/n, honey it’s time to wake up” he whispered softly shaking the girl awake “huh?” she responded standing up and rubbing her eyes “goodmorning beautiful, go wash up while i go get your food from the kitchen” he smiled as he looked at her lovingly “sam?” “yes baby?” he asked turning to meet her eyes “what are you doing here?” she asked “what do you mean what am i doing here i live here silly” he laughed slightly “wait what” she whispered looking around.

“are you alright babe?” he asked worried going back to kneel down next to her “si estoy bien solo un poco confundida” “why, are you confused love?” he asked looking at her confused written all over her face “weren’t you at a party last night?” she mumbled confused “a party? no i was stuck at the airport in australia last night” he replied pulling out his phone to show her the pictures of him goofy around at the airport with colby.

“that’s weird never mind i think i just had a bad dream” she explained getting up to go get washed up in the bathroom.

i must’ve been dreaming because sam was clearly stuck at the airport with no signal. the things my brain comes up with when he doesn’t answer me.

———————————————————————

this is probably shit but i’ve been super busy with practices and school but i’m on break so imma try to grind and get some stuff i’ve been working on out anyway hope you enjoyed this :)

🏷️: @sturniolobendystrawsposts @hearts4chris @patscorner @lexisecretaccx @tubl-mc @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloblogs @sturniolos-blog

#sam golbach #sam and colby fluff #sam and colby fanfiction #sam and colby x reader #sam and colby imagine #sam and colby smut #sam x reader #sam and colby #xplr club #xplr #xplr merch #colby brock x reader #colby brock smut #colby brock #colby x reader #Spotify #sam goldbach smut

[mooncurses]

To add to the current trend of calling out the bullshit that Zionists spout, here's a collection of not so fun facts for my friends outside of Italy.

Some of you may have heard of how Ghali, one of the most famous singers in Italy who is of Tunisian descent, has been criticized by Israel's Ambassador to Italy Alon Bar, who accused him of spreading hate just because he called for a ceasefire in Gaza. Then to remind us all of how much of a grip on the balls of our entire nation Isr*el has, a letter recounting the October 7 happenings was read on air to "balance" things out politically speaking (as our useless Deputy Premier and Foreign Minister stated, whatever the fuck that means). On his part Ghali responded with confusion and honesty, simply saying that as an artist he's always going to use his platform to talk about what he thinks is important, besides the fact that he's always been supportive of the Palestinian people since he was a kid (thus reiterating how their struggle has NOT started on October 7). In no part he ever invoked anything but peace, and yet he sparked controversy.

Of course what this episode merely sheds light on is the shameful and blatant climate of selfcensorship that has taken over the Italian mainstream media. It's not even an isolated accident: just days prior another contestant of the Sanremo festival, Dargen D'Amico, was attacked by the mainstream press after he dared take a minute after his exhibition to remind everyone that with our silence we are all complicit in the deaths of countless children right now. Sure enough he was forced to apologize "for getting political" the very day after.

To protest this cowardly and disgusting attitude that has become the standard in Italy, a peaceful sit-in was organized today in Naples in front of RAI (the public TV network that broadcast the Sanremo festival and that is funded with tax payers' money). After the protestants tried to hang a pro-Palestine banner on the fence of the building, police brutality quickly ensued and several people got hurt after being hit in the head with batons (you can find a video of the whole scene unfolding here).

So the thing here is that you can see how the top brass of our government desperately wants us all to just be complacent in the killing of Palestinians at hands of Isr*el. Much like what happened with the bombing of Rafah carefully made to overlap with the Super Bowl, the pro Isr*el Western governements very much hope that our silence can be bought with as little as good old panem et circaenses. And I've gotta say, at least in the case of Italy, it's almost like in doing so they forget how we young people were taught about genocide in the first place.

They drilled an acute awareness of what genocide looks like into each of our heads throughout our whole grade school life. We would hold our yearly minute of silence for the victims of the Holocaust on Remembrance Day without fail, we would read "Se Questo È Un Uomo" by Primo Levi as early as eight grade and analyze it thoroughly. We would study Hannah Arendt's philosophy while focusing especially on her ideas about the banality of evil that she witnessed during the Nuremberg Trials. Most high schools organized mandatory conferences with Holocaust survivors as speakers and visits at the local synagogue, as well as extra curricular activities (I'm talking weeks long train trips to Dachau and other concentration camps while accompanied by members of survivors associations and historians) to further spread awareness about the horror of the Holocaust and make sure that we would never let it happen again, that we would take a strong stance against it if the situation ever called for it.

And now we are living through the first genocide that's being documented live for the whole world to see and yet apparently nobody can say nothing about it. The countries that so far have taken a strong stance against Isr*el are so few it's absurd considering the enormous amount of damning evidence of war crimes, human trafficking, and ultimately ethnic cleansing that Isr*el is carrying out. It's even more absurd if you think of how casual the Isr*elis are about all of this, perfectly knowing that as long as they are backed by the world's largest powers they are basically untouchable. The banality of evil for real.

But here's the thing. Isr*el is just a country run by the military and made up of brainwashed ultranationalist colonialists, who think it is their birth right to kill every last Palestinian and mock their suffering because that's what they've been told confidently their whole lives. They think that the suffering their people lived in the past made them beyond moral reproach today, that their right to self-defense can spill over to offense and nobody will ever blame them, and they are so convinced of this that they will respond to actual accusations of genocide and war crimes simply by saying "that's antisemitic" and moving on.

Even just recalling the words of Holocaust survivors who spoke up about genocide has stopped clicking in the heads of many people because they see everything pertaining to the Jews as exceptional in its political, social, and historical dimensions, even when it's not. To better explain what I mean let me summarize another fun fact from very recent happenings in Italy. This last January 27, on Remembrance Day, several protests by young people of Palestinian descent and other supporters were held in various cities to condemn Isr*el's actions in Palestine, despite having been forbidden for "security reasons" after some complaints of the Jewish community called for the protest to be rescheduled. Some of the words that were written on the banners that the protestors held are quotes of Primo Levi, a writer and Holocaust survivor who passed in 1987. The aftermath of the protests was basically centered around Noemi Di Segni, the president of the Union of Italian Jewish Communities (UCEI), who said that the remembrance of Levi's words should be left to Jews, and then called for an end to the "verbal violence" against Jews that pro Palestine stances imply.

"Cease the fire of words against us is what we say to those who continue to accuse Israel of war crimes and genocide, with slogans based on nationality and faith, giving credence only to Hamas propaganda and giving new life to prejudices that we had hoped were extinct," Di Segni said. She also said that this kind of "Islamic suprematism" should look for quotes elsewhere, basically.

The funny thing here, however, is that the words that Levi originally spoke and that Di Segni and many other Zionists say have been "appropriated" by Palestinians were words that were never meant to be exclusively related to the Holocaust and the persecution of Jews specifically. All the contrary, they invite caution especially by reiterating that everyone needs to retain awareness of the horrors of genocide, because anyone (even Jews themselves in theory) could let such unspeakable things happen again if they let themselves forget. These are the words:

"Se comprendere è impossibile conoscere è necessario, perché ciò che è accaduto può ritornare, le coscienze possono nuovamente essere sedotte ed oscurate: anche le nostre". (trans: "If understanding is impossible then knowing is necessary, because what happened can come back, the consciences can again be seduced and obscured: even ours.")

This is important because to imply as Di Segni did that the Holocaust is a self contained episode in history, that words of warning against genocide in general can only be used in the context of a particular genocide that happened over 75 years ago, is the exact opposite of what survivors like Levi wanted the world to think.

The title Levi gave to what his English-language publishers called “Survival in Auschwitz” was “Se Questo È un Uomo” (“If This Is a Man”). The Nazis’ crime, he believed, was to treat the Jews as if they weren’t men—human beings. But the Jews’ suffering, he said, did not make them better people, or give them special rights. They had to observe the same moral standards as anyone else. Levi abhorred what we now call “exceptionalism.” This affected his views on Israel. He repeatedly condemned the Israelis’ treatment of the Palestinians. When, in 1982, the Israelis stood by as the Christian Phalangists massacred the Palestinians at Sabra and Shatila, he called for the resignation of Ariel Sharon and Menachem Begin. “Everybody is somebody’s Jew,” he told a reporter, Filippo Gentiloni, from the Italian newspaper Il Manifesto, and he cited the abuse of Poland by the Russians and the Germans. At that point in the interview, printed on June 29, 1982, Gentiloni closed the Levi quote and added a sentence of his own: “And today Palestinians are the Jews of the Israelis.”

Anyways, keep calling things as you see them. It may piss off some people, but it's the only way things can actually start to change in such a mud pool of empty politics and performative activism such as what we're witnessing in most Western countries.

#palestine #italy #sanremo #free palestine #anti israel #ceasefire

[therainscene]

Much of the supernatural horror that Will has to contend with works extremely well as a metaphor for his issues -- the Upside Down is the closet, the monsters represent homophobia, his powers are as repressed as he is, yadda yadda -- and in my opinion, this makes him a relatively easy character to analyze. Being able to draw on the supernatural stuff just gives you a lot more material to work with.

Mike, though? A goddamn enigma. He’s often present when supernatural stuff is happening, but he doesn’t interact with it to anywhere near the degree that Will does, and it’s much harder to fold him into the allegory being told here without reducing him to “Will’s love interest”.

And that’s interesting, don’t you think?

That the “stereotypical” gay boy who attracts homophobes like moths to a flame has had his issues laid out in code since the beginning? Whereas the straight-passing one, who’s so deep in the closet he’s probably not even out to himself yet, is so hard to read that most of the GA assume his bizarre personality change in S3 was a symptom of bad writing?

Figuring yourself out as a queer is a challenge even today, and part of the reason it’s so challenging is because heteronormativity steamrolls right over our right to know that being queer is a valid option.

The closet isn’t a queer space -- it’s a queer-shaped void within a heteronormative space.

Stranger Things is full of examples of this:

Will isn’t shy about expressing his disgust at the thought of dating girls, but he’s dealing with a lot of childhood trauma so he’s just a late bloomer, right?

Will is jealous and upset about his new step-sister’s relationship with the boy he’s been attached to at the hip since he was five, but it must be because he’s in love with her or otherwise misses his platonic buddy, right?

El’s character arc is about freeing herself from toxic relationships with men, but her infatuation with the boy who puts her on a pedestal is the one exception to that, right?

Robin shows zero romantic interest in men before coming out, but she and Steve just vibe so well it’s reasonable to assume they’re love interests, right?

Vickie paused Fast Times at fifty-three minutes five seconds, but she has a boyfriend so she must be straight, right?

Over and over, the show presents us with an ambiguously queer situation and dares us to assume it’ll end heteronormatively.

If this were any other show I’d call it queerbaiting... but these situations just keep ending in a non-heteronormative way, all while symbolically dancing around Mike.

Granted, “non-heteronormative” doesn’t necessarily equal gay -- El’s arc is more about independence and forging healthy platonic relationships than about replacing men with women -- but she’s still on the path to breaking out of comphet, which is rather a queer act regardless of whether she's literally queer herself.

But I’m digressing.

We’ve seen how Will is visibly queer and struggles with the trauma of being abused for it, and how his closet is symbolized by the existence of a literal alternate dimension full of monsters.

But Mike is invisible, so his closet isn’t represented by a metaphor at all, but by something more meta than that -- it’s etched out in the negative space formed by the narrative itself. Only the audience can see it, and then only if we’re paying attention, tracing the edges of the story and feeling out the shape it results in.

These two different approaches in depicting the struggle of being closeted remind me of drowning.

In films, drowning is a noisy and dramatic affair, easy to identify.

But in real life, drowning doesn’t look like what we think it does -- it’s silent and resembles calm water play. All too often, drowning victims will quietly slip under and succumb helplessly to the depths...

...right under everyone’s noses.

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #my analysis