#FUCK THOSE SPECIFIC RULES

[thebridalstylist]

What a bride SHOULD wear

Today, I had a really lovely woman come in. She was a plus size widow who was getting remarried at about age 50, and was a complete ball of nerves about what she SHOULD be wearing given all that. She came in asking if it was okay that she wear certain silhouettes or details or colors, like "But am I allowed to wear sequins at my age/size/2nd wedding?" There was so much "am I allowed?", and it broke my heart.

I used to be a wedding and event planner as well, and I think it's important that everyone hear what I told that bride. I'm a professional at this, so if you want to take one thing as law, make it this one.

I want you to take every idea you have about what a bride should be allowed to wear at your age/size/situation... And then I want you to set all those ideas on fire and dropkick 'em a mile away.

There are only two rules to what you're "allowed" to wear as a bride: one, that you feel comfortable, and two, that you feel beautiful. That's it. If you're an 86 year old bride who wants a purple see-through mini dress with a V down to your bellybutton with 15 layers of poof under the skirt and crystal pasties where your nipples are, girl... Go for it. I will bust my ass to make it happen.

Anyone who says anything different can take a long walk off a short pier. It's about you, and only you. All that matters is that YOU'RE happy.

(And by the way. that bride found a dress she loved so much she happy-cried.)

#wedding planning #wedding gown #wedding dress #wedding etiquette #FUCK THOSE SPECIFIC RULES

[hazel2468]

Something that I need people to understand, especially on this hellsite. Is that oppression does not depend on who you actually are.

It depends on how the world sees you.

If the world sees you as X identity. They will treat you as X identity, whether you are or not. If the world sees that you are not X identity, but they can use the oppression of X identity as a cudgel to make you act the way they want you to? They will use it.

Oppression is NOT dependent on who you actually are. It depends on how the world sees you. It depends on how people see you and what they decide to put on you because of that.

Oh. And when someone experiences a form of oppression that is NOT based in the reality of who they are? It's still that kind of oppression. It's not "misdirected"- it is still that kind of oppression being leveraged to maintain the current social climate.

#this is specifically inspired by all those annoying people #who think that trans men cannot experience sexism or misogyny #but let me tell you as a queer disabled Jew that shit also hits me on SO MANY other levels #oppression depends on how the world sees you #and honestly I think so many people are resistant to that idea because it is a fucking SCARY one #if oppression is based solely in who you actually are #then it's easy to say that certain things don't happen to certain people and there are rules to oppression #and like #I understand that is comforting to some but.... that isn't true #the only rule to oppression is that it will be used to keep everyone in line #and it will be swung at anyone and everyone in order to do that #and who you ACTUALLY are does not stop oppression from happening #sometimes it actually even makes it fucking worse

[skrunksthatwunk]

kiryu lied to ichiban about proposing bc he's a silly guy but also consider:

based on comments from this post:

+ bonus

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #skrunkart #yes im making skrunkart. finally #yakuza #like a dragon #kazumaji #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #yakuza 8 #like a dragon infinite wealth #kazuma kiryu #goro majima #LOOK. IM CONFLICTED ABOUT THE IDEA OF A KAZUMAJI MARRIAGE #they both have commitment issues and i think majima has specific marital baggage post-mirei #however kiryu's traditional vibe gives me 'he thinks marriage is the natural next step/conclusion to this' and majima would be fucking #stoked to plan a big event i.e. proposal and/or wedding. but then again thatd endanger their spouses and neither want that #but then again theyve both kinda been exceptions to those rules because of how strong they are & know each other to be #hm. idk. but what i do know is that i once cried at the thought of a canon kazumaji wedding #it would. god. god i..what the fuck. i want it so bad but yhey would almost certainly fuck it up #rip kiryu lol #tbh i actually think majima would eventually wanna get married bc the security of it's good. might help keep kiryu from running off again y #but only when theyre Old men #anyway this ended up way more detailed than i planned. old woman yuri postponed for old man yuri. once again im sorry women #yes i gave him the 8 hair idk when this is supposed to be though. eh #also if youre reading this go look at kiryu's dragon lol

[ante--meridiem]

I am simultaneously a very direct person but also everything I say out loud is the result of an elaborate internal chess game but not in a manipulative way, just against my bizarre personal hang-ups that I could not possibly explain without sounding ridiculous.

#sometimes I have to say things in a very specific way not because of anything objective in how I think it would come across #but to satisfy the brain gremlin's strict rules about what I am allowed to say #*some* of those rules presumably started as 'ways to sound socially acceptable' and then mutated in bizarre ways #others I have no fucking clue where they could have come from

[random-human-being2311]

this doctor who fanfic solving The Gay Fanfic Dilemma of same-pronoun vagueness by having the doctor go exclusively by they/them is the best way to go about it.

#as a non-binary person the doctor is officially extremely non-binary to me #if I'm feeling lenient then specifically genderfluid but if I'm feeling like a hoarder they get my obscure af microlabel that is genderflor #they/he/she pronouns #I don't make the rules #well I do actually #I can make as many rules as I fucking want and nobody can stop me because what are you gonna do? deny my headcanon? #oh also they're aroace now #sorry tenrose shippers #and twelveclara shippers #and all the other romo shippers #they're now asexual and aromantic - panro aroflux if I'm feeling lenient to the shippers on that day #because I say so #every ship gets hit with the qpr beam now because qprs are iconic #no romo #you want them to kiss? AROACE LASER BEAM ATTACK #apart from thoschei #thoschei still and always remains an ineffably indefinable “whatever the fuck those two have going on” #but ASEXUALLY indefinable at that because I say so as an apothi #doctor who #nonbinary #classic who

[kqluckity]

willy: this seems illegal

roier: why

#willy this place has 1/4 of the rules in karmaland and most of those are so fucking specific you wouldn't understand #qsmp #mcyt tag

[kingsis]

Ya caught me. I've got the hots for a character that has none of those parts to begin with. Although tbf, I'm mostly adverse to Any type of content past suggestive so. Take that as you will

#melon talks #seriously tho i have a very specific rule for spamton: Never read or draw or interact with anything more than 'suggestive' stuff #because seeing him as something that Could do those things kinda ruins the fun #yuu saying 'i gotta fuck him' is derived from the fact that he cannot in fact fuck

[bunposting]

House Rabbit Society Shut the Absolute Fuck Up challenge

You have no idea what you're talking about regarding literally anything for rabbits. Literally shut the fuck up. Fuck all of you.

#apparently they put out a news release saying that #the rabbits on the petting table at the PA Farm Show are all getting euthanized (without being used for meat) after the show is over #and that they all specifically were bred to be put there and die. #dude literally think before you fucking speak #that would be such a huge waste of time and energy and money and resources #the rabbits on that table are either rabbits that were entered but didnt win enough to get a designated coop at the show #or rabbits that did get a designated coop but the breeder decided they wanted to let the public interact with them #or yes - sometimes they are culls that were already going to be euthanized anyways (usually also used for meat) #the entire point of the petting table is to get the public to interact with breeds they likely have never heard of before. #to get them to care about all the breeds that exist and consider helping to keep those breeds going. #most of the time those rabbits are still important to their breeders' program in some way or could be given to another breeder #to euthanize them would generally be a waste - a HUGE waste if they're not even being utilized for meat or fur. #yes RVHD2 is a threat but A. the rabbits at the show have been vaccinated per the rules of the show and #B. any good breeder will quarantine a rabbit after a show regardless. #euthanasia is not a necessity here. #so HRS please do rabbits a favor and get your heads out of your damn asses #rabbits #house rabbit society #hrs #show rabbits

[starlooove]

He is in fact not cool with his friends killing people he just can’t do shit about it and the fact that he thinks he can do smth about (and does!) when it comes to his kids is like a major point

#like one of the main #Idk if theme is the right word #but issues surrounding Batman in general and Gotham specifically #is the high standards he holds not just those closest to him to but also the people he controls #NOW DONT GET CAUGHT UP IN UR GUT REACTION CONTROL IS A STRONG WORD BUT IM USING IT FOR A REASON #like i think the fandomification of the batfamily and seeing every character as reliable in the way they tell their own stories #is making people forget that yes bruce lowkey controls them #like not in a mean way or whatever but as much as dick and Jason rebel and say ‘fuck you old man I have my own people to take care of’ #at a snap of Bruce’s fingers where are they? #right back in Gotham #which ppl say is an issue with writing and I agree like they really just can’t take anyone away from Gotham #but THATS meta like the in universe conclusion is what creates in universe analysis #and these issues are being spoken about from an in universe pov #that was just me justifying my point anywayyyd #what im saying is that like #in conclusion Ppl are forgetting that Bruce is scary and still runs this shit lmao #like a few snappy quips about emotional distance and some ‘X deserves better’ fics is making yall forget shit like spyral #or at least how it went down and ended up today and what that says about the characters involved #it’s tragic and Ik we like to ignore that but like. when look at shit like the no killing rule #yes bruce thinks he’s being slighted or failing whenever his kids kill someone and they to an extent think that too which is why they don’t #do it #or at least partly #even for Jason that’s why the killing is not just what needs to be done it’s a form of rebellion for him #everyone who agrees jason should just leave Gotham but still present as pure rebellion and anger and spitting at Bruce don’t get why Jason #should leave is all I’m saying #that’s why Dick never got away #it’s still all about Bruce #even if we don’t want it to be #reading this back it’s disjointed as hell but I’m not fixing it if u get it ily heh just a peek into my dark mind #if u don’t it’s not ur fault not everyone can withstand the alphas prowess…

[sleepygaymerdisease]

im trying to respond to people on my post who have questions or are confused but theres just so many 😭 i dont know how to explain the intricacies of classism or how hard it is to get a lawyer to start and WIN a discrimination case. especially since i dont know australian laws. but like... this behavior, denying someone a job for their outfit, is really common across the world. classism is pervasive and it's dangerous and it costs people their lives. we would have to change the capitalist system, change policies across the globe, and work on our internalized classist beliefs for the rest of our lives.

#i think a lot of people are sharing the post in shock and horror. not knowing that this happens to people every day. which is really sad. #like. this is an issue that is literally ignored and swept under the rug. to the point where people dont think about it. even though like. #when you hear about Interview/Business Culture you know you have to dress well. everyone knows that's like step 1. but people havent #actually stopped and asked what the purpose of that is or what that means. people haven't considered what happens if you break that rule. or #why that rule is there at all... emily gwen said that they can't afford new clothing. and couldnt get the words out in the moment. but like. #imagine this from the interviewer's perspective. she saw someone who was 'unprofessional' because of their clothing. and that's fucked up! #WE know the situation because of their post. but they shouldnt need to justify their attire like that to get a damn job. we dont need to #know someones circumstances to treat them like a person. and i want everyone to really think about this. how many times in your life have #you seen someone with worn out clothes. dirty clothes. clothes with holes in them. clothes that are 'too casual' for their setting. and how #have you treated those people? how have you thought about them? and think about this in media. how many people with bad clothes are seen as #irresponsible? or treated like shit? this happens every day. and it's not australia specific or america specific either. it's everywhere. #so please show others compassion. this experience is traumatic and alienating. it's hard to reach out. its embarassing to talk about. #and it's even harder to get legal defense for this stuff. you need money and you need solid proof. oftentimes people have neither. #other things to consider clothing-wise: clothes that dont fit. too big or too small. modified outfits. clothes that dont match the weather #(like wearing a sweater in the summer or thin shirts/shorts in the winter). like. these are things people judge all the time idk. #what happened to emily was horrific. but it's not new and youre not immune to thinking the same way. #anis gaymer moments

[andthebeanstalk]

i love that you are still here on this earth. i am relieved that we've both made it this far. and i am so, so happy to be here on this planet with you. thank you for that.

#original #this is bc i wrote a super long post about mental health and ableism and saved it to my drafts after finishing it bc it is #intense enough to give it a breather and a second look before posting it #it started as an angry thing about suicide and ableism but ended in a long beautiful monologue that basically can be summed up w this post #which is. ya know. actually a really good sign for my overall mental health. just... considering how those topics used to spiral me #like send me into a downward mental spiral to a dangerous degree. this is way way better. (if almost as time-consuming lol) #but also i may have literally just been repeating another post i've made so #idk #but anyway thank you for being here. please stay alive bc in 20 years i am going to have a party and you are invited #i am saving you a seat just like all the other kind folks you could meet in that time if you don't run into me specifically #but you need to be alive to be able to go bc I don't think ghosts exist and i definitely can't see them if they do #so you gotta try your best okay? just like you've been doing. hold on. be brave. and i'll try to do the same. #because baby i'm going to that fucking party. #and it is going to RULE but it will be so much better if you're there too.

[jvzebel-x]

"I hate how they have the power to kill my future-- kill me. They treat my black skin like a gun or a grenade or a knife that's dangerous and lethal. When, really, it's them. The guys at the top, powering everything."

x. "Ace of Spades", Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

#Ace of Spades #Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé #📚 #so. as a rule i usually dont like books that center around school for extremely obvious reasons lol. #a young protag is one thing but a plotline that heavily revolves around school life is. issa no for me lol. #BUT i got recd this book&when i went to go look for reviews the first one listed ripped the book apart. #the language the reviewer used was... questionable seeing as systemic racism was the primary theme lol. #the next review i read however was by a reviewer who LOVED it. in fact the reviews i saw were split basically down the middle. #seeing as the primary theme was systemic racism+antiblackness (w a strong focus on microaggressions) in higher acedemia specifically #&socioeconomics in general it wasnt difficult to guess WHY the split was there lmao&i read the book&yeah lol. #anyway it wasnt like. a perfectly plotted book; like there were certain sideplots that were never really given closure #but its also the debut novel of a Nigerian British author who v specifically wrote a whole authors note #to detail the fact that she wrote the book during a v dark time in her life when she was dealing w systemic racism in academia #so the lack of closure on certain points sounds&feels like she wrote this book for a purpose&those themes werent it. #&the purpose&allegory she was trying to make was really well done. i hope she keeps writing. #... as an aside i was recd this book bc i was recd donna tart first&realized while reading the goldfinch that like. #theres a reason why i see her work clipped&out of context everywhere lmao shes racist as fuck. #nothing like being punched in the gut by the n word out of nowhere spoken by a yt character written by a yt author lmao. #... cannot understand why this woman is like. The End Word in dark academia fiction??? shes terrible??? #so yeah i went looking for a better dark academia book lmao. #also found several articles about this issue w donna tartt so i guess i should have just googled it first LMAO.

[theevilicecreamsoda]

If you think any identities are invalid based on you think “they’re silly” or “they’re doing gender wrong” please listen to yourself 😐 Is that not the same rhetoric on why people think gay or trans people are wrong? That they don’t provide children or are doing sex “wrong” or gender “wrong”. You all are eating up terf and radfem bullshit, like we are just going back to the aspec discourse that was so fucking prevalent on this site 😐

#you people are so so stupid #this is just the aspec shit all over again #im tired of this okay!!! #get off tumblr if you think smaller labels are dumb like!!! TUMBLR IS ALL ABOUT THAT AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? THOSE PEOPLE ARE RIGHT #jealous you cant have catgender arent you fuckers #neogenders and pronouns are fucking awesome now shut up #their identities dont hurt you and you have NOTHING in this experience okay!! you dont know fuck all about it! SO SHUT UP!!!! #GO BACK TO 1ST GRADE AND LEARN SOME BASIC FUCKING RESPECT #THE GOLDEN RULE: if you have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all #all you have to do #queer #lgbtq #neopronouns are fucking cool i dont get how you people could hate them #or specific labels like thats so cool!! and bonus doesnt fucking affect you <3 #it isnt always about you shitheads and you need to learn that

[coquelicoq]

les misérables:

Cela même lui avait été plus facile qu'à Roméo; Roméo était obligé d'escalader un mur, Marius n'eut qu'à forcer un peu un des barreaux de la grille décrépite qui vacillait dans son alvéole rouillé, à la manière des dents des vieilles gens. (IV, 8, I, p. 341)

me: that's weird, isn't gens masculine? guess i'll look it up on wordreference in case it's also a feminine noun meaning something different.

wordreference:

Inflections of 'gens' (nmpl): pl: gens Toujours au pluriel quand gens = les hommes en général ou un nombre indéterminé de personnes. L'adjectif qui précède s'accorde souvent au féminin.

me: what the

frick frack

#um?? french?? why would you do that????? #'s'accorde souvent' WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF NOUN-ADJECTIVE AGREEMENT THEN?? IF YOU CAN JUST CHANGE IT UP RANDOMLY???? #the other thing i don't understand is why it's des vieilles gens rather than de vieilles gens #bc i thought that if you have a preceding adjective in the plural then it's de instead of des? #but i'm not upset about that. it's whatever #it seems like one of those things that people ignore half the time bc the default 'des' makes perfect sense #like 'des' for pl nouns is the rule and 'de' for pl nouns preceded by a pl adjective is the exception. it's just ignoring the exception #but to use vieilles instead of vieux! that's ignoring the rule itself. that's like. going out of your way to mess with me!!! #vieux is actually the bane of my existence. i only learned a couple years ago that when spelled vieil before a noun starting with a vowel #you don't pronounce the l! you pronounce it as a y sound and call that a liaison!!! #i guess TECHNICALLY the y sound (the palatal-labial approximant [ɥ] to be exact) is a consonant. but it's a vowel-ass consonant!!!! #IT'S SO VOWELLY. HOW CAN WE BE CALLING THIS A LIAISON #french #my posts #i love screaming at the french language. i just read the argot chapters which act like slang is some kind of deformed demon #so i'm just here to say: STOP ACTING SO SUPERIOR STANDARD FRENCH! YOU ALSO ARE FUCKING BONKERS!!! #language is beautiful but it's so fun to be mad at french specifically. for a couple reasons but the main one is l'académie française #fuck those guys in particular. you want to interfere with the natural progression of language so bad it makes you look SO stupid #got all these fucking fossilized rules and you don't even follow them. zero legs to stand on #if this were any other language ignoring grammatical gender agreement on a whim i'd be like okay sure that's how language goes #but since it's FRENCH. on se bat à l'aube. en garde motherfuckers

[blindedguilt]

#||Audio|| #{/Was listening through some lines on my computer and MAN} #{/this has always been my favourite leonard line; but it hits HARD even after all this time} #{/each time i play through leonard's regret i purposefully take longer just so i can try and get to hear this line lmao} #{/he sounds so TIRED and pathetic and literally about to keel over and ITS JUST???? paul st peter really went that hard huh} #{/AND THEN THERE'S THE CONTENT OF THE LINE ITSELF; SPECIFICALLY THAT 'STAY AWAY' THAT JUST FUCKING GETS ME} #{/like} #{/leonard is a GROWN ass man and just about as tall as caim; eight years older; and he sent him into SUCH A STATE OF TERROR HE'S BEGGING} #{/THIS 24 YEAR OLD OTTER NOT TO COME ANYWHERE NEAR HIM??? CAIMS LITERALLY THAT BAD} #{/ᶦᵗ ᵐᵃᵏᵉˢ ᵐʸ ᵗᵒˣᶦᶜ ʸᵃᵒᶦ ˢᵉⁿˢᵉˢ ᵗᶦⁿᵍˡᵉ man; it just hits all those perfect places... we need more of not just leonard being completely} #{/and utterly terrified of caim; but just... that in general} #{we get a lot of the 'youre INSANE for killing this many omg' BUT WE NEED MORE PEOPLE JUST... BEING SCARED OF HIM} #{/Like 1.3 where people just KNOW} #{/DOD2 did a good job of establishing the tone; 1.3 did a good job of establishing the 'people NOT wanting to see this guy upset or even} #{ever' factor. NOW WE MUST COMBINE THEM.} #{/...note to self; as well; im not exempt from this and REALLY ought to do more with that concept in my own writing lmao} #{/anyways tl;dr this line fucking RULES gn}