#Feeling scared is a part of being human

[anathemafiction]

So I'm thinking. Can we choose later on whether Romanus was scared of Neia, or are they always gonna be scared at the beginning? 🤔 Like, maybe feeling shocked because oh, isn't she supposed to be like, dead?

The visage of Neia, the Dawnseeker, standing where she shouldn't stand, with a dead man's blood on her sword is a vision straight out of Romanus' worst nightmare.

You are more than scared, you're close to terrified — and the text doesn't leave that interpretation on purpose.

How you respond to that fear, is up to you. You can recover quickly, even fight her, but you will always feel dread when you first lay eyes on Neia.

Romanus' fear of her and, especially, of the Inquisition, is something intrinsic to their character and not decided by the reader. But, as Ned Stark once said: "The only time a man can be brave is when he is afraid."

#some things aren't costumized by the player #Feeling scared is a part of being human #and romanus because of their backstory is TERRIFIED of the Inquisition #And neia was the face of the Inquisition #you will feel scared #plus... she is a giant muscular mean lady #Neia #The Golden Rose #MC

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

i don’t like “ship it” in that i don’t care about them like that or feel any emotional investment in the concept but the farther we get into gundam wing the more deeply i feel that this entire show makes about 3000% more sense if zechs and treize have fucked

#i don’t even think they’re exes exactly bc neither of them is normal enough for that #i just think they used to fuck and that’s part of their joint mutual obsession #and explains things like treize being like ‘i have to free relena from romefeller so she can go elevate humanity to the next level #after zechs and i have a war so bad it scares humanity off war forever’ #like that sentiment. coming when treize has met relena exactly once to fire her from being queen of the world. #makes so much more sense to me if this is treize thinking of relena as the little sister of the guy he used to fuck #that’s just what’s in my heart. that’s just how i feel. #gundam wing

[piplupod]

i feel like i am losing my mind a little bit bc i spent over half of my counselling appt talking about my fear of spiders and this lady kept telling me i should just kill them, and that the only way to get over my fear is to kill them, and i shouldnt catch and release them anymore ??

and now i am thinking about it and wondering do they actually remember how to get into the house,,,,,, if i put them way on the other side of the house in the garden under a plant where its safe, will they just... come back inside? because I don't remember ever seeing any duplicates of spiders that I caught and released, it seems to always be a different looking one each time so :|

but she just seemed so confused and kind of amused by me trying to explain how i think that like... every life has value and I don't think I should be killing spiders if I can avoid doing that. and she straight up laughed at me saying that they are fascinating very interesting little critters.

i don't know, i just feel kind of sick i think. that was just really not what i was expecting and I'm confused like... is this ... the only way I can get over my fear of them? to just start killing them whenever i find one in the house?? that doesn't seem right at all to me but maybe I'm being too soft or something

they talk about values in DBT and how you must make sure your actions don't go against your values, and this seems very backwards to that, especially since this woman started the DBT program at the hospital. so i feel like maybe it's wrong of her to be telling me this, but also maybe she's right about this. idk !!!

#im just very confused #i just... should we not extend kindness to insects when we can? #like yes theyre creepy crawlies and they get into things but... they are also living creatures #they have inherent value just on account of being alive #maybe i am too sentimental or soft or smth idk im really upset abt this fdsjkl #i've always felt this way idk dsfjkl it is just a part of me i guess #i dont like how so many humans think they are top of the chain and everything else is lesser and below them #i dont think we should be feeling like we have total dominion over all the other living things on earth #its... a very white christian colonizer way of thinking. in my opinion anyways. maybe im wrong idk #i can't google the thing abt if spiders have a good memory and sense of direction bc i will find Too Much info or photos #and i . would like to sleep tonight. #im already so agitated though so idk but fsdjkl im kind of scared what i might find by lookign things up #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #spider tw

[gxlden-angels]

I really am just religious trauma wrapped in a trench coat at this point huh?

#Had an issue in therapy that I couldn't quite get at #basically we couldn't figure out why having a diagnosis mattered to me #and I finally wrote/talked out my thoughts #and it's because the 'bad parts' are the only part I allow myself to have #all my good traits are 'from the lord' so I need bad traits to exist #otherwise I'm nothing #so I have to cling to having observed bad parts to stay human #it's a weird transitional state to me #I'm clinging onto the bad parts but if they're a diagnosable disorder then they aren't me #they aren't who I am #but if the good parts of me are from the lord and for him #then they aren't mine #I don't get to keep those #and we're trying to take the bad parts of me before I've established the good parts #or that's what it feels like #basically I'm scared of being nothing at all in that in between state #and the label of 'disordered' gives me something to grasp to without holding onto the symptoms themselves #it gives me wiggle room #until I establish myself as a mix of good and bad #I just have to learn how to claim those good parts first #anyways that's how my trauma therapy has been going #haven't even met the religous trauma coach yet #there's so much to unpack holy shit #ex christian #religious trauma

[soupkiddo]

tried to put myself in the headspace of a transphobe and got pissed off cus it's so fucking stupid

#genuinely i have no fucking idea how people get so up their own ass about other peoples business #you dont like it? it makes you uncomfortable? tough shit buddy thats life #i see dogshit on the sidewalk and it makes me feel gross. but im not going to make hating dogshit my entire personality #im not gonna fucking ban dogs because i dont want to look at dogshit #im not gonna follow people home when they dont clean up after their dogs #ill get pissed about it in the moment sure. i wish people would clean up after their dogs. but its not going to consume the rest of my day #being uncomfortable and not liking things is a part of the human experience baby!!!! #trying to get rid of every little thing that makes you uncomfortable defeats the point of being alive!!! #you just wanna stay in your little bubble?? scared of anyone who doesnt fit your narrow view of what a person should be?? #that sounds so fucking sad #nothing new nothing exciting #just straight cis white folks living their straight cis white lives #AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW FUCKING STUPID RACISM IS HOLY SHIT #there is an entire world of different people with different cultures and experiences and art and foods and you dont want any part of it??? #because somebody spoke in spanish and you didnt understand them #the world does not revolve around you #people should not have to sacrifice their identity for your comfort #literally just mind your own business. someones elses gender is not your business. #terfs eat shit and die

[technicolorxsn]

kabru is so fascinating to me.... girl what is wrong with u

#i love him though #see i understand partly whats wrong with him bc i also have a fascination with the workings of humanity and analyzing individuals #but the way i approach/feel about that interest is more similar to laios #well. not as unhinged when its real people but yknow #its more from a place of care and wanting to know how things work and how i fit into it (<-will never figure that part out) #but with kabru i dont get it #is it all about fitting in and being liked? what is it about laios that makes him tick? #he says his main motivator is his past but.. what do his weird mind games do to help him with his goals? #why lie to laios? why lie to anyone? why go through all that effort to be liked by everyone? #i dont understand people like that at all..... ive met a fair few and they all scare me #im definitely far more like laios ^^' #maybe its that sincerity that bothers him? laios cant lie to save his life and he cares so earnestly #and kabru keeps trying to come up with reasons as to why he might be sinister or evil but.... kabru knows hes not

[persephoneflouwers]

-

#hello everyone how are you? #I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately #and I feel very light and okay #I am here mainly to get things straight #I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me #saying I am an hater and I shouldn’t be writing larry fics #I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago #because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????) #and I want to say only one thing because I don’t care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is #it’s not clout and it’s not easy #being a (new) writer here is not easy because people don’t care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me #im not using harry to gain anything #if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for people’s judg #*judgement. and I promise you it’s not always nice #especially when this place doesn’t like people who you don’t always agree with #especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didn’t like) #louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do #so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters #(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei #their names and physical features #and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police #deciding who can read what and who can write what #because this actions only affect new writers in the way that #they will be alienated. they will feel alienated #and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that #ever. you don’t know what people go through every fucking day #you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on #will affect people on the internet and their mental health #stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings #and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this

[pepprs]

i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!

#purrs #imbeing insane about it i know it’s not that simple / reductive and i will still feel like shit abt myself once im in a relationshp (if i #get to be ♥️) and there are lots of other legitimate reasons to feel shit agtbyiurself. but it’s like no ficking wonder i feel inadequate i #am a 24 year old who lives at home and has never held a hand or whatever next to two 50sometjinf year old married men with pets and phds. of #course i am going to feel inadequate and stupid and lonely. like i canttttt 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 and th w worst part is you can’t just go out into #the world saying that and looking for that it has to find you so i will not join any dating apps or whatever but i don’t fucking go anywhere #so im not going to meet anyone and i knowi am so young and stupid and just having a horrible day that is reminding me of horrors. but the #way i am mentally shoving my whole fist in my mouth. OF COURSE I FEEL LIKE SHIT I DONT HAVE A LIFE PARTNER!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE THAT #SAFETY AND STABILITY AND TRUST AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!!!!!! AND I NEVER HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #delete later #like this is what makes me crazy abt parents and kids too and whyi don’t think ihave kids. bc i think (and i know this is wrong / unhealthy) #it is a primal human need to be mutually someone else’s number 1 person and when you have kids it’s like you’re gonna love your partner more #than the kids and then the kids (read: me) watch that and get fucked up over it. but also that could just be me reacting to the UNSPEAKABLE #psychological damage of being a twin. which again is ridiculous bc it’s n out like abuse i just had to share something with someone else si #since before i was born and ofc there was more like actually kind of abusive stuff on top of it LOL but that aside. idk what im saying i #just feel so crazy. the amount of composure it takes me every day to not start SCREAMING with frustration and envy when i see ppl being #RIGHTFULLY DESERVEDLY visibly confident and loved. like ok valentines grinch go sit in the drainage pond forever please. but it’s so crazy #like how are you supposed to go through the world unaware of how much love you’re missing out on because you’re young and then you realize I #it and then somehow you miss the train and you are scared you are going to d*e alone ♥️ im normal

[loumauve]

I've heard you weren't asked about Beta, and this injustice can't stand, so: Why do you like Beta (and why is she the best)?

THANK YOU, BB!! <3

BETA. Beta Beta Beta.

I love she, my sad little meow meow, who needs hugs, all the hugs.. and warmth. (especially from a certain sunny and optimistic Thrush we all love and adore. but Milu deserves her own post, suffice to say I adore her too) she also needs some good food and better clothes and actual. fucking. sunshine and company.

ANYWAY. why do I like Beta, and why is she so super important to me.

first of all, let me say I went into HFW entirely blind, avoided as many spoilers as I could.. so the whole Zenith thing came as a total surprise to me. so how could I not love her right from the start. so similar in her curiosity, and yet so different from Aloy in so many ways.

I love a good 'genetic clones and yet they're vastly different' story, I love siblings who came into being siblings later in life, I love the 'what could have been's vs the 'what were's, just.. parallel lines I guess, and messed up childhoods. I love a character that chooses hope against all odds, and against all prior experience. I love a good but messed up character.

her trauma made me relate to her even more, because it's what I know. I know the lashing out and the freezing up and the nightmares and just.. yeah. suffice to say I know where's she's at mentally, even if we may have come to it from different paths.

(Aloy knows loss, as do I, as does Beta, but the life Beta's led is a different kind of tragic and painful. and to reach out for hope, to be that brave based on a twenty second glimpe of somebody's face and some mental calculations.. yeah. I know she immediately got scared right after, but what she did? the way she tried and succeeded and keeps on trying.. that's something not just any character with her past could make themselves do. there's mental strength in that, that I can barely grasp.)

I think I just like thinking about her future, not that I don't think about her past and present, but I want her to have a chance to heal. to keep growing. to keep getting braver and also to get as snarky and sassy as we know she will be. queen of cutting remarks if you ask me, could definitely rival Sylens in that regard, given time. and I'd just like to see her become comfortable in her own skin, gain confidence in her skills and knowledge.

#to love Beta is to love all the scared and angry parts of myself. to embrace hope in the middle of hopelessness. time and again #aka lou loves clone stories bc they remind us of how complex human beings are and how so many things go into what makes us us #we're more than genetics and memory and we always have a choice and those choices are what make or break us #ANYWAY thank you for the ask love. <3 I love Beta even if I feel like this post still doesn't do her enough justice #my brain is still fried and this is the best I could do #Horizon Forbidden West #Beta my beloved

[mrburnsnuclearpussy]

#all you have to create is something about skinny white men in love and everyone will care about you and them #anything else is just nothing to you ppl lol #what’s the point of trying to be an artist I swear I just wanna give up coz I can’t create enough finished art in general #WHY CANT I DRAW LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS A KID. it felt so easy and now I’m scared to do it for no reason ugh!! #i wish I was interested in the same things as everyone else coz at least then the quality wouldn’t matter and people would care anyway #sorry I know this comes across as really childish and mean and yeh it is I’m just venting #coz sometimes I look at certain popular profiles and stuff and it makes me ache coz I’ll never be a part of the big club where you can feel #love and I’ll never be able to coz I’m just a robot thing with no humanity!!! #even the LITERAL ROBOT is still reduced in the fandom to being shipped like just fuck off all of you #one of my bigger recent passion Roberts is a story and even when I have some motivation and energy I just remember that literally not a sing #single person on earth has any reason to care about it and why should they! so I just feel like crawling into a hole and sulking like a piss #pissbaby which is what I’m doing lol #just because it’s not about young skinny men and the ‘purity/beauty/divinity/superiority of romantic love </3’ and #and YUMMY SQUISHY ORGANIC RED PASSIONATE things because illl never be a part of all of that anyway #I’m not amazing I don’t have the inherent drama and meaningfulness of romantic love in me as a potential so I’m basically nothing #my life means nothing because i can’t feel the one thing that matters #-(one thing that matters according to the world and like all communities and societies and any place to feel like you’re a part of somethin #) #and if your broken (empty of romantic love) like me you’re told to go play by yourself in the corner and not complain that #everyone else gets to be in the group #‘just do your own thing it doesn’t matter what society thinks’ is well meaning and <3 but for me I just hear ‘don’t be a part of us’ #what if I want to be a part of something? what if I want society to know and understand me?

[gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun]

listen, I’m not responsible for the bullshit I may spew over the next few weeks. I started reading American Gods and it’s in process of rewriting my brain currently, apologies for any inconvenience this may cause.

#when i tell you i started crying in a part that i shouldn’t have cried over #i was just overcome with the feeling of being human okay? #what is this book doing to me??? #what are these feelings??? #mom come get me I’m scared of the overwhelming power of the human soul #american gods #neil gaiman

[bignaturalsbatman]

i know several other movies have probably done this before the Dark Knight Trilogy, but i'm dubbing the phenomenon of "movie/series takes a different angle on a genre's themes and motifs to tell a specific story and everyone subsequently treats it as the style standard for the genre" as the Dark Knight Effect

popular instances include

batman instantly being rewritten as an abusive, grim asshole with zero support system, with many DCU movies following suit in tone

godzilla's nuclear context being lost in western adaptations

the walking dead reframing people as the biggest threat in a zombie apocalypse being taken as the genre standard (WWZ novel and the last of us is right there???)

the MCU

whatever big 3/big 5 anime of the season being the tone standard for everything that comes out for the next 2-5 years

the "liminal discourse" about SCP/backrooms/poolrooms indie horror

disney & pixar movie formulas and how people treat them

#.txt #it's giving ''guy who's only played Destiny 2 'wow this is just like Destiny 2' '' #there's a difference between ''not genre literate enough to make a distinction'' and ''personally prefers this angle of the genre'' #i hated the dark knight trilogy (because of its effect on comics) but i respected it for what Nolan said it was: an AU #i didn't care for the focus on People Being the Evil in TWDG because i believe humans are good and i don't like that tone in media #but it made for good gameplay in TWDG Telltale games #i love cheap horror and i love indie horror because i like to be scared and i like to scare my friends. #but i don't like what ''youtube indie horror'' has done for the genre a la ''monster is pinprick eyes in dark sockets + teeth'' #like when AoT birthed that era of excessively gory and murdersome anime and GoT copycats all wanted Their period dramas #to Also be full of murder and r*pe #anyway being a comics fan feels like training to be someone who can comfortably sit in their corner of a genre & know it's only part of it

[the-l-spacer]

there’s Something about book two secunit that does a number on my heart

#it just feels more raw? vulnerable ig? #just left the preservation team. still scared of detection and not used to being a person + being a part of humanity #meeting art for the first time and feeling so so scared but they connect through media T.T #and then meeting more humans it wants to protect. and still not knowing how to react to platonic affection I fjdbdkddbfjdbdkdvd #just. auuughhh I need to reread it and draw more scenes from that book #amy reads murderbot

[rosenecklaces]

'

Elriel Month - Werewolf au

the wolf in fawn clothing

"But I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she'd dissapoint you all"

"with time and safety, perhaps we'll see a different side of her emerge."

#elriel #elain archeron #azriel shadowsinger #elrielmonth22 #my edit #okey listen. i think about this au way too much #elain being bitten by a werewolf and feeling as scared and violated as when she was thrown in the cauldron #theres this new part/being in her that she doesn't understand and is afraid of but with time she decides to learn to not fear it #this new part of her helping her with time at being more assertive. and while she doesn't use her werewolf side to hurt others #she sure as hell does it to protect her sisters and friends #az was there in elains first transformation and helped overcoming it. accompanying her werewolf to hunt animals #i have also this idea of az being a knight lost in the woods and seeing elain coming back to her human form #romance ensues

[bmpmp3]

cars are chipmunks from the front and aliens from the back

#the license plate in the front is the chipmunk teeth #sorry i was thinking about like dolls and like the fear many people have of them #as someone who decided to become a weird doll guy last year i wont judge anyones fear at ALL #like hell. ive also started a collection of evil doll horror movies recently too (im not scared of them but i find them fascinating) #(especially the prop work and practical effects. and they wouldnt exist without people being scared of dolls so i thank u) #(if that makes sense LOL) but yeah like even tho i dont feel any fear of dolls i absolutely wont judge anyone who does #but i was thinking about like. seeing faces in stuff. paradolia? and like. for the most part all humans have that #but some may feel the anthropormophizing much stronger than others #for example: me LOL but i was thinking about that strong anthropromorphizing and i was like maybe thats why i like dolls? #theres already faces on everything whats a few more. BUT THEN i was thinking a little more #it could go the opposite route. if you see faces in everything and then you see a small object thats SUPPOSED to have a face #maybe that might make it scarier. like at least the other faces didnt have inset eyes or anything #two sides of the same coin possibly #but of course theres lots of reasons people are scared of dolls. some people find dolls without faces scarier than ones with #despite loving dolls and not being scared at all of them. i do have a bit of a mannequin thing. they scare me a little #and im not sure which is worse. a faceless one or like those scary old navy ones they had when i was a kid with the big grins #but i think for me the scariest part of a mannequin is actually how static and heavy and unmoving it is #so it might be a little different

[gender-euphowrya]

ngl the parents clutching pearls about huggy wuggy are funny as hell trying to pretend that oh it’s the evil internet’s fault for letting their kids be exposed to horror with cute aesthetics like oh that damn night freddy and them momos making my kid too scared to sleep

as if their generation didn’t grow up seeing absolutely fucked puppets on tv and fucking mr blobby and the yearly child trauma ritual of forcing kids to sit in the lap of some dude in a very disheveled and shoddy easter bunny suit

#like don’t get me wrong i get that the scale of the impact & ease of access to scary content that looks like kids content is different #but like. putting the blame for its existence on the internet as if that hasn’t just… been a part of human culture since forever #i mean ffs fairy tales are the Ultimate form of content geared towards kids #and the OG ones from balls centuries ago were all about like. murder and death and r*pe and whatnot #heehee hoohoo hansel and gretel two little kids who love candy :) THEY WILL GET EATEN ALIVE good night baby !!!! #it’s just always been a thing so #instead of blaming the internet for having content that has existed for All of human history #how about you blame yourself for not monitoring what kind of content your kid gets exposed to #how about you blame yourself for just dropping your kid in front of an ipad for hours on end without offering other forms of entertainment #how about sitting your kid down to explain to them what horror is and what fiction is #look i don’t get it either i don’t get why horror and gore is something that’s made to be compatible with children audiences #but the fact is. it exists and it always has and some kids do genuinely love it in the same way an adult would love horror movies #and ! even if you shelter your kid from all of it ! kids have nightmares and get scared of fucking anything ! #I HAD NIGHTMARES FROM THE MR BEAN MOVIE !!!! kids are just like that !! #you can not prevent your child from being scared #all you can do is comfort them when they do and help them feel safe again #it’s not the video game dev’s fault it’s not the plush manufacturer’s fault it’s just #a thing that is bound to happen eventually. #but don’t get mad that it does happen if -you- haven’t put in the effort to try to prevent it #you can’t just let your kid watch anything on youtube and then be mad they watched something you don’t like #if you’d checked with them or ! prepared your own playlist of stuff you deem acceptable or w/e #them you’d have nothing to complain about