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lawonderlandwriter · 3 years

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To be fair to Tamzin, I think that the Dany that she was originally playing and that she was told about, was pretty different than the Dany that Emilia eventually portrayed. The staff admitted to major rewrite of the pilot, and mentioned Dany's scenes as one that really needed to be gutted and redone.

So I can't help but wonder if the script had been different for Tamzin if she would have taken the role. She mentions a few things about the pilot and contract that make me think whatever vision she had for the character to make it her character, didn't match what the directors and producers wanted; and she felt forced to go against how she saw the character that helped her make the decision to withdraw.

Well, no.

Emilia and Tamzin were given the same script. The script was to show Dany and Drogo "making love" on their wedding night and the scene being consensual. GRRM even said that the scene between Tamzin and Jason was so "hot" that Dany's horse (which is supposed to be female but for some reason was played by a male horse) got aroused and it was visible, making the entire crew crack up.

However, when Emilia joined the cast, she expressed concern about the order of events for her and Drogo's relationship. How, they have this great wedding night but then the next episode, she's crying while he's raping her, then it's back to them making love again.

And when Emilia expressed her concerns, Benioff and Weiss agreed that, while it may work in the books (it doesn't), it didn't work for the visual medium and so they changed the wedding night scene.

And for once, I just gotta say, they were fucking right. They may have ruined the greatest television show of all time, but in this instance, they were right. It makes no sense that George wrote this wedding night seduction scene only for Drogo to go on to not give a shit for all the other nights of their marriage until Dany takes back control.

I've never read George talk about the "other nights" of Dany and Drogo's marriage after the wedding. He is adamant that Drogo doesn't rape Dany on their wedding night, but has been silent about the other nights where Dany cries into her pillow and is so sore she can't even sleep afterward.

What is the point of that? Is it to make Drogo an even worse character? Like, he seduces her to get the marriage consummated and over with, but then he doesn't care because he got what he wanted? Or does George honestly not think the other scenes between Dany and Drogo where she is literally in so much pain she's crying, are rape?

But I digress...

It's interesting that Tamzin was so uncomfortable with the role and how she was persuaded to sign on by the producers anyway because it's exactly what they did with the actress who played Shae. Sibel Kekilli didn't like how Shae treated Tyrion in the books but the producers liked her so much, they changed the character so that she would agree to play her.

How fucking wild is that?

The change with Dany and Drogo's relationship makes sense to me because in the books, it makes little sense why Drogo's approach to sex changes so drastically from one chapter to the next. And the change in the show changes nothing about Dany's character on a personal level or her struggles. And people still ship Dany and Drogo even after watching those scenes.

But with Shae, that is her whole ass character. Shae isn't in love with Tyrion in the books so it adds a layer to Tyrion's character because he knows this. So for them to make that change, gahhh it just whitewashes Tyrion's character so much more. Like, ohh poor me, this woman actually loved me and THEN she betrayed me, and so he gets a free pass for killing her (and his father) and no one calls him mad for it....

LOL

Sorry, this turned into a clusterfuck of a random rant about a lot of things. No clue why the producers fought so hard to keep Tamzin in the beginning when she wanted to pull out and then ended up recasting Daenerys anyway. Maybe they could see her discomfort in the original pilot and realized they had been wrong to persuade her to stay, so they recast. That's my theory at least. As to what made Tamzin so uncomfortable with the character/part? No idea. From what Emilia has said about Jason, he was super protective of her so I can't imagine he wasn't the same way when filming scenes with Tamzin. Perhaps Tamzin was uncomfortable with GRRM calling her sex scene "hot" and she was creeped out by this creepy old man 😂

#tamzin merchant #Emilia clarke #Daenerys targaryen #shae asoiaf #tyrion lannister #khal drogo #asoiaf #anti got #anti D&D #got rant #Alex answers #Alex rants

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fortheloveoffanfic · 2 years

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alright jim hc time!! ✨✨

we’ve already established that he was a shy soft boy, right? well that also means he’s a blushing mess most of the time!!

he’s a middle-aged dad who turns into a sixteen years old teenager whenever you’re around. in the beginning, it was because he had a terrible crush on you (because have you seen you??) but even when you are dating and in a serious relationship, you still have that effect on him!

it began when you went to have dinner to his friend’s house and got up to go to the bathroom as he and all his friends were chatting, you didn’t do anything special, just whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek because yeah why not? and the man just turned bright red, to the point where his friends stopped their conversation just to tease him

then came the time you went to the restaurant right after he got a new haircut. honestly he was so handsome you couldn’t keep your hands off of him but seriously you almost killed poor jim with all your glances and all your lip biting and what not

and that’s when you started to realize that hey this could be a fun game! so you began teasing him, making little comments just because there was nothing cuter than seeing your man all blushy for almost no reason at all

but the best is always when it’s just you two, when you take a minute to remind him that he’s the most handsome man ever or any sweet little word, it’s truly endearing how much your words can affect him but other than gently tease him, it shows how much it means to him so you do it, all the time. i don’t think he realizes exactly how awesome he is, in his mind he’s just an average guy who got very lucky to find a girl completely out of his league but that’s not really it and you’re always glad to prove it to him!

alright…it got a bit messy towards the end, I’m a bit tired lol but yeah conclusion: Jim blushes like an idiot no matter how long you’ve been together and you’re just living for it 🤧

Hi hun! I was supposed to respond to you yesterday but we had a blackout and the cellphones went down 😭

ANYWAYS

You are spot on with this! He's a quiet, shy guy who's totally in awe of you, he still can't believe you agreed to go out with him, even after years. And after you telling him so many times that you're not out of his league. Gahhh, he's just adorable.

Him being all blushy is such a cute mental image, like he just loves you so much so everything you say means something to him and its just freaking adorable.

And he deserves to be reminded all the time that you're so insanely lucky to have him too. Like, I can totally see little gestures between you and him ever so often, not big things (though that's me projecting cause I hate grand gestures). So, you'll wake up extra early to make his favorite thing for breakfast and he'll have things sent to you at work, like coffee or something. Just little things to say you're thinking about each other throughout the day. But I digress.

He's just a sweetheart who knows he's gotten a second chance at love with a wonderful woman and it blows his mind every time he thinks about it!

He's just the perfect boyfriend, isn't he?

I loved this so, so, so much. As usual 💕

And I'm sorry it took me so long to respond, but my phone was literally rendered useless yesterday. No cell service, no internet/wifi, no moblie data, no electricity to charge it 😭

#anon #gosh I just love him #the delinquent season #and these were adorable ajkabsjvaja

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hmajorgirl · 4 years

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so here I am for old times sake. it’s been 5 years and a lot has changed. but i’m kinda still the same. maybe my inner monologue doesn’t sound as self-assured as it did when I was 15. maybe i don’t romanticise the shit out of every 2 second eye contact i make with cute strangers. maybe i don’t grammar well anymore because i think it’s a cute look. Oh wow. so much of the world has changed. facial recognition, instagram shops, the pandemic... so many new songs i play on repeat until i’m sick of them. i’m a lot less motivated than i was before, and i’m ashamed to admit that. i have smile lines. i feel more and more defeated everyday (actually, we’re trying to work on this). but yh the sad emo vibes never quite dissipated like i dreamed they would, i felt so betrayed by the order of things and the way of the world that i lost a lot of hope. gave up on myself (a bit... a lot sometimes). but other times, it’s gucci. i feel like i’m definitely more cringe than cheesy now. not sure if that’s a good thing, pretty sure it’s not.

hmm. what hasn’t changed? still unfortunately in love with love, but i can mostly see the difference between real life and the cute shit that happens in my head. i’m learning to have faith, to trust. to start living life and exist in the same dimension as other people because even though it sucks, it’s better than existing alone in your head. i realised that studying will only get you a quarter of the way to things and unfortunately stopped that shit. it wasn’t a good idea because i didn’t pick anything else up. i’m still writing songs. still singing them badly. BUT my singing has improved marginally:) i still love my parents, family is all good (touch wood). still a bit too impressionable but we’re working on building a stronger willpower and independence. still love taylor swift. still want to run away to the creative industry. still want to runaway sometimes (in general). I still write! sometimes. wow, i guess some things really just don’t change.

The good? Hmm my eyes have been opened to the multi-dimensions of wealth and inequality and cultural differences that exist in the world. I am thankful for that and didn’t know that money could buy so much. but simultaneously feel disheartened that the discrepancy is so large between people at birth. inequity is real and idk how i feel about that because i really believed in the natural justice system. and then I was so caught up in these feelings of betrayal and injustice that i forgot that i am lucky enough to have the opportunity to change things. I forgot about it for 5 years and now it feels like it’s too late. i know it’s not.

that was a digression.

the good. okay. hmm discovered korean dramas and the mastery that is cinema and how it evokes emotions through stories and idk that’s just a piece of my soul coming together. i work out occasionally. sadly i stopped dance but i’m vowing to sign up for classes once i have the money. i got a spotify membership and spend my days making playlists for myself and it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I really hate how my inner core is so soft and romantic, it’s not fit for the capitalist society that we’re living under. i have friends, i like them, they like me. there is a guy, maybe. there were a few guys actually. i’m not sure how long this one is going to be around for GAHHH omg imagine if i re-read this in five years time and i’m laughing at myself because he screwed me over so bad idk. i have bad self-esteem issues. i am kinda joking, kinda not. okay, i like him but let’s move onto another topic. i’m trying my best to adult and be honest with my feelings and approach things with feigned maturity to mask my pre-teen thoughts. let’s leave it at that:)

i remember that taylor said that the lucky one was the hardest song to write for the red album. because it was solely about her and her life. no guys (apart from the second verse but okay that’s not central to the song). it’s the same for me. i don’t want to talk about the direction of my professional life because it scares me more than messing my life up romantically. for now, i’m beginning to see the role of passion and interest in work and it’s importance. I’m trying my best to walk towards that direction because i know that ultimately i want a career that I would love to work overtime for. but i’m still trying to balance the scales between what i want and the confinements of reality. i need to make money. sometimes it feels like an either or kind of situation and i don’t know what to do. but maybe this is just standard 20 year old thoughts. okay but we have 2 months left of uni so i’m going back to studying. i hope that when i look back on this i would have a 2:1 bachelors (but let’s be honest we want a first)

some final thoughts for 25 year old me because why not make your tumblr a time-capsule? dodie-style.

what are you listening to right now? I’m listening to 21 by gracie. Are you seeing anyone? Honestly, I don’t see you in a steady relationship because i feel like your self-esteem will get in the way of things - either that or you get your shit together and focus on your career too much. I hope it’s the latter. I hope family is all well and healthy. call them. right now, if you’re not living with them. DEAR GOD PLS don’t still be living with them. OH GOD DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FLAT/HOUSE?? where are you by the way? london? what are you doing right now career-wise? how’s it going? is it what you want to do? does it fit in with your life plan? please tell me you have a life plan by now. i hope i’m proud of you. i hope you’re working hard. how are you? really? are you rich enough to afford therapy and weekly spin/pilates sessions? what’s up with your social circle? are you still writing? ARE THERE DRONES EVERYwhere? How’s chloe? Elizabeth? Jason? Update me, what happened with the guy - i want to hear a story. do you cook now? did you manage to turn your personality type from a 2/9 enneagram to a 3? bitch we gonna work on this. do you still write songs? can you sing? you don’t have kids right lmao pls no god help us. what’s your yearly salary post-tax? did you start dancing again? did you start to learn piano again? what happened with the pandemic? how long were you quarantined for? do you still make spotify playlists haha? what tv series are you currently binging? do you hate me? please tell me your still blogging ur life on ur private instagram. how many followers do you have now? who are you having conversations right now with on facebook? what are your colleagues like? are you less people orientated now that you’ve realised that they cannot provide you with the love that you are depriving yourself of from yourself? DO YOU READ? are you the perfect health-freak, ig-girl, smart business woman, go-getter in her white suit at the glass media company that you dreamed about being at those dark spin sessions? GOD IMAGINE. I hope you are but i don’t have faith right now. pls tell me you don’t teach (or you teach and ur salary is insane in a good way). are you a journalist? you didn’t go into consulting right? did you study again after uni? are you the screenwriter that you’ve dreamed about? did your poetry account blow up and now you’re a full time poet? I still kinda hope you work at a nice glass office (brand consulting, advertising, media, journalism) and wear cute coords suits to work. and i hope you’re writing on the side because it’s who you are. I hope you’re reading lots and I hope you’re super smart and switched on. I hope you’re memory has improved a lot. I hope you’re in love, I hope he loves you back and I hope you know that too. I hope you have a great and healthy relationship with your parents and see your extended family and grandparents often. I hope everyone is healthy and I hope you took your parents to duck and waffle like you wanted (don’t do it when you’re poor though). I hope you’re taking care of your health and eating well. I hope you’re still dreaming in a realistic way. I hope you have great mentors and a supportive friend group. I hope you’re living your best life. re-read the defining decade. but i hope you don’t reminisce to much anymore and don’t write too many songs because you’re 25, time to break out the novel shit. I hope you’ve travelled alot. I hope you spend a few more summers in china falling in love with life and yourself again. how is your chinese? are you still a romantic? tell me, have you changed, if at all? do you read the news? are you less cynical about yourself and more realistic or less optimistc about the world? I hope you are. contingencies are important.

are you excited for the future? I hope you are. if not, please change, you have time, all you need is faith and diligence. hope you’re holding up well. Me? at 20? I’m excited about what my 25 year old self is going to be like, like i was excited to see what my gcse results were going to be like. I hope the results are the same. work hard. i love you. hope you love yourself more. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. have faith. :) i can’t do much for you, but i hope i did a lot to get to where you are right now. hoping is useless, i’m going to work now.

take care x

#hmajorgirl

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hgb94 · 4 years

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Bertie’s Will: So, I’m dictating now, alright? So everything I say now will is gonna written down and that’s my last will and testament, is that right? That is right? That is clever isn’t it. That is really quite something. To whom it may concern, obviously if I am dead, then it will be terribly sad for all of you. Now, obviously this will come as a great trauma to you, all the more so because it is totally unexpected, because let’s be honest I’m pretty good at fighting peril. The other day I saw some peril, just hit it, just punched it, it went down, stayed there out of fear. Gahhh, take that, peril, I said…the gnomes skip ahead a little...and that peril, that stayed down, like, it was definitely down by this point, anyway, I digress. Tempting though it may be to follow me into the outer planes, wherever I go after death, who can say? No, no, I want you to stay here, stay living, stay strong! Carry my memory of greatness, although it’ll be really sad because it’s a massive loss to all of you. Hamid starts to cry quietly. Now, in terms of my personal effects and debts. Now, the debt is an issue I won’t lie. Now, obviously, as much as possible must be sold off to allay the debts of the Old Botham Estate. Now, I of course, at the present time, have no male heir, that I know of, am I right ladies? I’m definitely right, really, the whole idea sickens me. However, I have decided that the mantle of the House of MacGuffingham shall pass upon my demise to this little dog I found recently. I see great things in him. You know, there’s a certain spirit, a certain strength of character. I predict great things for that small dog. And so, as such, I bestow upon him all the remains after the debts of the Old Botham Estate have been cleared, including my name. Hmm, you alone, as Brutor MacGuffingham. Hmm. Sir Brutor MacGuffingham. Grizzop: Now hang on a minute, I went to get a coffee, and now a dog is Bertie? Wait, what’s happening?

#rqg #rqg spoilers #rqg 79 #it's okay grizzop #nobody understand bertie #ahhh bertie #I learned to loathe him #but I will really miss James

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weeblifeiscomingbacktohauntme · 5 years

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RARE CROSSOVER TIME

Steven Universe/BNHA

Okay but how many of you guys saw that hour su long episode???

Gahhh so good

But I digress

I love the concept of Steven going to the school and being this overly cheerful and optimistic OP sunshine

But do you know what I love more?

CONNIE GOING

Her mom's like, "If you're so determined to be a hero, fine. You're going to the best school available."

She has a big ass sword and tbh I didnt think that hard into what her quirk should be

Anyways

She gets in but, tbh, she wasn't like 100% into this plan because she felt like she was just making some friends at school (maybe not super close ones but she had some people ask her for tips in gym class and saw potential)

So she gets in because she knows how to move (thank u pearl) and people have support weapons so I guess she can have this giant sword thing?

But not only that, she and her mother agree that she gets to come every Friday to Saturday (that's what you have a transporting lion for, right?) So really, it's not that bad

She's in the gen class with Shinsou (did well on the test but never showed her quirk???) and just cant help but miss Amethyst (she knows she'll go back every weekend, but not immediately seeing them afterschool bums her out)

She's mostly in this school because the education really is Top Notch, but also to please her mom so she can keep going on her adventures with Steven

LOL IF YOU DONT THINK HER BOI STEVEN DOESNT DROP IN FOR LUNCH AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK

There's so many other ramblings I've been thinking about hehe

#bnha #connie #steven universe #crossover #ramblings #thina talks #am not a writer #i just ramble #i love crossovers

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callioope · 5 years

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woeful-woods replied to your post “I just watched “The Wrong Jedi.” Someone PLEASE talk to me about this...”

I understand how you feel

silmarilswan replied to your post

Welcome to pain and suffering

For real, what the heck is up with season five, man? (And season six!) (Reminder to self: it's the Clone Wars! It ends with Revenge of the Sith! And Anakin falling to the Dark Side! It was always going to end bad!)

I mean, I did know what was going to happen, but that ending!! The lighting and the art and the MUSIC! (They play Binary Sunset in there to really twist the knife.)

It’s okay, I’m alright, I got all this fic to help me.

I will say though, it was rough but I do feel like it was Right for Ahsoka. And the way those last scenes are done, stylistically, just conveys so much hope. It’s like the Force is singing with the rightness of the decision. She got the heck out of there, man! Thank goodness. Still kills me that Anakin doesn’t freaking follow her example! But anyways.

crossposted from my dreamwidth post about it:

I did know the result of everything (who the real culprit was, that Ahsoka would end up leaving, etc.), so it wasn’t really shocking, but it was absolutely devastating and heartbreaking. With one exception, this legit inspired an “oh shit” for me:

Anakin: I understand wanting to walk away from the order. Ahsoka: I know

She knows! Is that intentionally implying that she knows about Padmé? Or was it just supposed to mean that she senses the conflict within him? I’m gonna go ahead and headcanon the former, but regardless! So painful! Because Anakin really should leave the Order, and I think it kills him that she can but he feels like he can’t. Gahhh such pain.

I do think this choice is right for Ahsoka (I mean... fuck the council, man), and I thought it was particularly interesting the way that the final sequence was lit and scored: (a) the soft, kind of glowy light, the way there are clouds shadowing the sky BUT they are backlit, light shining through, the silver lining, and (b) when Anakin runs after Ahsoka, we hear a variation of Binary Sunset that I associated with Luke and with hope. It’s like this is the hope, Ahsoka is their hope. It’s like the Force is singing with the rightness of this decision. This whole ordeal has highlighted just how screwed up the Order and the Council is. I’m really interested to know what Ahsoka goes on to do next, and I really can’t wait to see her in Rebels.

One slight addition to that: in “Sabotage,” which starts off this arc, Ahsoka saves Anakin’s life and this exchange happens:

Ahsoka: Fighter crashed, I saved the day, you’re welcome. Anakin: Huh. Okay. *proud smirk*

THAT PROUD SMIRK!! She has grown up so much; she’s so competent. This just seems to underscore that leaving the Order was an important final step in this chapter of her life.

ALSO. I’m really glad they didn’t kill her off. Ahsoka doesn’t appear in Revenge of the Sith, so they really need a good reason for her to be out of the picture by then. They easily could have killed her off (like they did with certain other characters to explain why they weren't in films, but i digress and I'm really not super angry with that because Lucasfilm would have butchered the rest of their stories ANYWAYS), and the plot almost did--had she been found guilty, and I think she would have been, the penalty was death. But they gave her SO MUCH BETTER of an “ending”/write-off. Like. She’s free, man. She’s free of that screwed up place. She’s able to explore the Force outside of the tainted temple halls (because apparently there’s some Sith shrine buried beneath the temple, a separate topic).

Some additional other thoughts:

Of course it’s freaking Tarkin that prosecutes Ahsoka. Of course it is. And that certainly must make Anakin/Vader and Tarkin’s complicated relationship all the moreso.

Freaking. Palpatine. Just acting judge over this. How much do you think he really looked forward to killing Ahsoka, knowing the effect it would have on Anakin? And you know what, he still probably gets his wish with how things played out because her leaving--her choosing to leave--probably is even worse for Anakin. Gosh I freaking hate Palpatine so so much.

I really liked Barriss in her previous episodes, this was kind of a sucky plot for her. I mean, CLEARLY she’s on to something about the Jedi, but really off the mark in how she goes about expressing that. That’s a shame cuz I might have even been considering shipping Barriss/Ahsoka.

Also: Ventress! I didn’t care much for her when she was first introduced, but damn! Her story has become super interesting, I really enjoyed her development, especially her scenes with Ahsoka.

OKAY WELL I’M WIPED SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME SILLY FLUFF PLEASE AND THANK YOU

#woeful-woods #silmarilswan #the clone wars #ahsoka tano #spoilers #and so much pain #liz replies #liz review things #(sort of)#(that's the tag i'm using anyways)

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pandabearlikes · 7 years

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My Husband, Kim JunMeow

Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Chapter o1. Kim JunMeow

I hate cats. Cats are atrocious, selfish little monsters who leave your costly business attire looking like you slaughtered a bear and your airways choking of fur balls.

"What do they even do? Eat, sleep, poop. Repeat."

“Luxury life, you jelly?” my cat lover friend, Lila, clicks her pen against my temple and jeers.

“Pftt. Of their smelly butts? Why would I be?” I roll my eyes and collected my Chemistry textbooks from the library table.

“You’re just hating. Cats are the cutest most cuddly creatures in this world,” she exaggerates with clasp hands against her cheeks and eyes that almost bulge out in animated hearts.

I shiver just thinking about all the entrapped saliva nestled in their fur. My friend scoffs and begins to pack her bags as well. It is the last semester of college and the last thing I want is to go to class but the last thing I could afford is to not go to class.

“The world out there is your cat!” the dork leaps onto her feet and exclaims.

I smack my textbook shut in her face and amusingly correct, “You mean oyster??” She grimaces from the intrusive breeze and pouts. “'The world is your oyster’, it means we are all in the position to take opportunities life has to offer.”

The cherubic faced female raises her brow.

“…Because you can’t get the pearl without grinding and prying open the shell. Some people settle for comfort and pick tiny, easy to open ones and end up with a dull rock. Others choose to take the road less travelled, pick the biggest oyster, hammer, tear, and groove it until the mollusk reveals the flawlessly shiny one-of-a-kind pearl,” I recite with so much genuine poetic passion that I almost think I’m auditioning for a Shakespearean play. I’d like to think Shakespeare would be proud of me.

“No. I did mean, ‘The world out there is your cat.’ Cats are priceless. Pearls are not,” Lila counters.

I smack my face with my palm. “I seriously hate cats,” I grunt under my breath.

“Well, don’t tell me I didn’t tell you, you’re gonna marry a cat one daaaay~” she singsongs.

“No, thank you, you crazy cat lady~” I play along and sing back as I skip my way through the library exit and wave goodbye to my dear friend.

Books snuggled tightly against my chest, I slug my way to the lab to make up my Chemistry report. I had flunked it twice and it is my last chance if I didn’t want to spend my entire summer back here.

“Meow,” I hear a short purr from the bushes and skid to a stop. “Meow~” the creature calls out to me. Only its large circular eyes are visible from behind the shadows. With a sharp inhale and wide-eyed with realization that said-smelly fur ball monster is right in front of me, I snap my neck to the other side and speed walk away.

“Meow >:(,” the abandoned cat grunts and scampers back into the alley.

“Ahh, I think I failed again,” I groan and blow concentrated air up at my now messy bangs. Oh, woe, little miss damsel in distress who can’t seem to get the right amount of sulfite into the beaker or set the thermometer to beep at boiling point.

“What am I going to do with my life?” I dramatize and deflate. “Should I start bribing the TA?” I mumble under my breath and anxiously bite my nails as I eye myself head to toe at the glass reflection of the campus building. Hair disheveled and unwashed for three days, dark bags under my eyes, and jeans only God knows how long I haven’t washed for. Life of a college science student~ What life. WHAT LIFE?!?! Even a rich geezer would steer far away, much more the young, handsome, and intelligent TA, Kim Jongdae. Puffs of happy stars and fluttering butterfly hearts twirl in front of me at the thought of my crush's kitten smile.

“He likes cats, you know that right?” Lila’s knowing advice replays in my mind and my shoulders slump.

“No, not even for him, I wouldn’t—“ I start but my voice trails in projection at the sight of the twin glowing eyes reflected on the window. Slowly, I turn around to come face to face with a white cat. His luscious fur almost illuminates like holographic magic in the dead of the night.

“GAHHH!” I shrill and run to hide behind a street lamp post.

The feline’s marble-like eyes follow me with a striking intensity. And from the bluish onyx hue, I instantly recognize it to be the same cat from before. He approaches me, one paw at a time as I cower farther and farther behind my makeshift barricade, that really didn’t protect me much at all. It’s a good placebo though.

“Wait, placebos are used in the context of medication, you Pabo,” I grumble to myself. Ah, distress, pure distress of a science major who was too much of a chicken to spend eight years in Med school yet whose brain is wired in a way of a medical dictionary. Oh woe, me.

“Meow!” the cat’s snappish call wakes me up from my own pessimistic thoughts.

“Do-don’t get near me!” I order but the cat continues to advance, stopping right in front of me. His fluffy paw lifts and he places it on the tip of my foot. I hold my breath and almost lose my breath from anxiety. Alright, alright. I admit it, I have Ailurophobia a.k.a the irrational fear of cats. It’s not that I hate them I just...

“G-go…” I stutter. The beautiful feline tilts his head and gazes up at me with a glint in his twinkling eyes. “D-don’t make me kick you…” I make a false threat and wobble my foot that he had his palm placed on, hoping he would just let go.

Instead, he places his other paw down too. “Meow~”

“Stop,” I strictly say.

“Meow :(“ his purr betrays his hurt. Innocently, the kitty snuggles his entire body closer and settles down by using both of my feet as his cushion. He looks up with puppy eyes…only, well…puppy eyes on a cat…yah…you know what I mean…I digress…He looks up with puppy eyes as if waiting for me to reject him but hoping I wouldn’t.

“Stop. Don’t give me that look,” I frown, “I’m not taking you home.”

Without letting him reply, I slide my feet backward to freedom. The cat plops back down onto the concrete floor. Frowning, I pull the straps of my backpack and start to walk home. It is already past 11pm, which meant lingering any longer would be dangerous.

I take a step forward.

“Meow~” the kitty whines, trailing my steps. He swirls and twirls his way between my two feet and looks up with pure anticipation. Again, I try to detach myself from this fur ball monster wearing a cute angelic face as a disguise. He latches on with both paws around my right ankle. I groan.

“Look kitty…there’s a bunch of cat lovers around here,” I explain with exasperation. Pointing straight down the street, I persuade, “If you continue down this road and make two lefts and see a peach brick house, stop and meow loudly, a crazy cat lady will take you in.”

“Meow :(“ he grunts and lowers his head. He licks his front paws and then looks up at me again.

“Her name is Lila and she’s a little weird but she’s very caring and would adore you…” I elaborate. “So go on your way…” I shoo and start to walk again. Again, he follows. I skid to a stop and try to persuade him again. This happens for another half an hour before I give up and just head home pretending there isn’t a clingy feline tailing me.

In front of my house, I try to distract the cat as best as possible so I could unlock the door, slip in, and slam it before he could follow me in but he holds onto my legs and begs in meows. It is a bit chilly tonight and soft drizzles only showed potential to turn into a heavy rain storm. Momentary hesitation equals an opportunity for the fluff ball. He squeezes through the door gap and dashes into my apartment. Groaning, I toss my head back in resignation.

“It really isn’t the time for this…” I heave and head in as well. Too tired from the day of studying and testing and failing and trying to get rid of a cat, I end up just plopping down onto the sofa. Arms outstretched wide and head thrown back, I think about surrendering and being a cry baby for one day. You know, the possibility of not graduating in time is quite daunting even if it does sound like #firstworldproblems. On the other hand, unlike me, this cat curiously wanders around and makes himself at home.

“Well, I’m tired, Kitty. I’m calling it a night. You be good and I’ll drop you off at the animal shelter tomorrow morning, okay?” I bargain.

Lethargically, I drag myself to my room and toss my dead weight against the bed. Soft whimpers fleet from my lips. I snuggle my way into my blanket cocoon. Flying sheep are seconds from sending me to sweet slumber when I feel a furry paw against my nose. My eyes shot open.

“No. Stay on floor,” I discipline, lift the bad boy up, and put him onto the ground. I roll back into my comfy bed…only seconds later, I feel a soft tug against my blanket. My lips part and I gather up the last of my patience to scold the little monster, when I notice its choppy tugs. He had grabbed onto the corner of my blanket with his teeth and was slowly pulling it to cover my shoulders. My expressions soften without my permission. When he finally deems it a good job tucking me in, the amicable creature leaps back down to the floor and tries to build his own warm bed by curling his tail around his body. So innocent and vulnerable. A tinge of guilt penetrates through my heart.

“You want a blankie?” I question, my voice a little gentler than before.

The cat surprises me by shaking his head, as if fully comprehending my question. Chewing on my inner cheek, I spring up, grab a cushion from my chair, and place it on the floor next to him.

“You can use it as a bed.”

Again, he shakes his head. I frown.

“The floor’s extra cold tonight because of the rain outside…” I observe but the feline tilts his head and doesn’t make the move to accept my offer.

Sighing, I inquire, “You want a towel or a soft t-shirt or a plushie to snuggle with?” I look around my room for some cat-friendly items. That's when I squint and notice the leather band around his neck. "Oh, hey…you have a collar. Are you not a stray?” I kneel down and observe the pendant. Sadly, the age and rust of the metal tampers much of the information’s legibility.

Kim Su---

Instead of answering my question, he wraps his paws around my arm, tugs me closer, and tries to nestle on my lap. I toss my head back and groan at this troublesome cat. “I should just toss you out,” I grumble under my breath.

As if understanding my words, the cat instantly lets go of my arm. His eyes glosses over and he melts against the floor as if sulking.

“I was only joking!” I quickly back track. "It is pouring cats and dogs outside, I’m not that heartless…” I reassure and somehow instinctively outstretch my palm to pet him on the head. He likes it very much, much more than I had imagined. With a long sigh, I scan my bed. “You want to climb on the bed?”

The corners of his lips curl up and he jumps up and down with joy. Chuckling, I surrender and hop onto the bed. He follows suit.

“Stay at the foot of the bed,” I half-heartedly instruct with a yawn. The white fluff obediently stays at the spot for about two minutes, before he sneaks his way toward my shoulder. “I said, ‘Foot…of…the…bed…’” my voice slurs due to my sleepiness. Dozing in and out, I recall him nestling comfortably at the croak of my neck. Automatically, my body cuddles around the warm guest, who lays the final magical touch to my sweet dreams.

My tongue smacks against the top of my mouth palate as I half-consciously try to moistens the dryness. Whimpering, I roll around in my sheets, hoping to stretch out my sore muscles before the alarm clock shrills anxiety back into my life. One more satisfying stretch and I open my eyes to a good morning—

“AHHH!” I shriek at the sight of a stranger sleeping beside me. Automatically, my body chooses flight over fight; I back away so hastily, my body crashes from the bed onto the floor. The chaotic noise awakens the man.

Long lashes flutter open. His movements are fluid and graceful as he rolls out his shoulders and sits himself upright on my bed. He stares at my astonished state with the tilt of his head and several innocent blinks. Heaving air back into my frightened lungs, I reflexively lift the blanket from my body and look down. Just a thin cami and PJ pants, not naked. Not naked. Whew.

“So nothing happe—“

The young man stands up, letting his blanket fall fluidly down his broad chest, chiseled abs, and…

My eyes widen and lips drop agape. Heart pound against my chest. Front row seats to Magic Mike would be an understatement. The foreign male stands there, completely oblivious to my bewilderment. He starts to advance toward me, inch by inch. I almost choke myself to death by swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Wh-wuh…who…who are you?!” I panic, scoot myself backward, and recoil against the wall. He stops a foot from me with his exposed manly goods literally, right in front of my face. My eyes bulge. I swallow again, my head starts to spin. Mouth opens wide - out of shock, I SWEAR out of shock, you dirty minded readers.

Just then, I hear keys jiggle outside from the front door. My name rings from the familiar voice of my mother. Gasping, I turn to the man, who turns back to me with a blank stare. Maniac panic ensues. Footsteps click against my wooden living room floor. Jerking up to my feet, I grab onto the man’s wrist, yank him, and throw him on the bed. The sheets are tossed on top of him.

“Hey, Sweetie—“ my mother pushes open the door of my room and greets but immediately could smell the fishie fishiness.

Nervously, I try to cover up my scandalous act and the very visible random lump on my mattress by literally sitting on top of it and pretending it’s all cushion. Immediately, I regret such decision as I had so coincidentally place my bum right on his manhood. It throbs through the sheets against my left back thigh and I have to bite my lower lip to keep calm.

“Hi, Mum…heh…” I nervously ruffle my hair.

“Why do you look so guilty?” she narrows her eyes.

“Oh-oh…N-no..not at all.” Needless to say, I fail at my pursuit of a Degree in Deception. My hiccup attack, thereafter, doesn’t help much either. “Ju-just…hic- Just sur hic- prised you came to vi hic- sit without notice…heh…” No slick, what so ever.

Nothing I do passes my mother’s eyes. The sharp and observant female charges into the room, shoves me aside, and throws the cover away. I shriek; my arms outstretch out of reflex. Thankfully, the handsome sexy…no…focus…man gripped onto the covers before she exposed his lower region.

My full name bellows from my mother’s lips and I’m clawing my hair coming up with an excuse to cover up my possible one-night stand and not get ass-whipped by the conservative Catholic woman. Growing up, I was taught that sex before marriage was not allowed.

“Who is he?!” the furious woman interrogates as she takes note of how scantily clad I am too. She sniffs the room as if trying to gather evidence of the shameful act. Automatically, my hands lift up in a pose of surrender, though I had no intention to actually admit to her suspicions. The gorgeous man across from me gazes in my direction with an innocent stare and a sweet, honeyed smile that contradicts his sexy Devil’s bodayyy. I spend a moment too long ogling over his features that my mother snaps at me again.

“I-uh…I…” Beads of tears start to coat my lashes.

“You have some explaining to do, Young Lady. I’m calling your father!” the middle-aged woman warns and starts punching numbers on her phone.

“No-no…MUM…” I choke. Squeezing my eyes shut, my lips automatically move on their free will, “He’s my husband!”

The phone drops from my mother’s hand. Internationally, I face palm. Really?! That was the worse possible damage control ever. The attractive man blinks. He gifts me another sweet smile when he catches my gaze. Immediately, I look away because I tell myself I can’t be entranced or horny right now with my outraged tiger mom in front of me.

With the twitch of her brows, the older female laces my name with full warning and seethes through her teeth, “We need to talk.” I swear my butt crack began to perspire.

Gulping hard with panic, I glance at the mysterious man as if begging for help, only not really expecting it. You know, like, what could he really do? I didn’t even know where he came from for God’s sake. Was I drunk? Is this a dream? I didn’t like the latter thought because I’ve been so dry and thirsty that the wetness of my panties causes ecstasy in my boring life and the thought that I had to possible wake up from it is quite unfortunate. Priorities, much? It’s only worth it if I don’t first get strangled by my own mother. At my stagnancy, the older woman scans my pretend husband and scoffs at the black collar-like choker around his neck.

I squint. Wait…I’ve seen that…somewhere—

It’s the third time my full name rips from her throat and I know I’m in the deepest trouble I’ll ever be in. Wiping my clammy hands against my pants, I turn to my mother and begin to push her out the door. Blundering words escape my lips, “I’m sorry mom, I’ll explain. I’ll call you later! I swear!”

“You got married?!” she shrills in disbelief.

“Yes. I mean No. I mean…Yes…” What has gotten into me? I must be out of my damn mind or otherwise possessed. Closing my eyes shut, I continue to direct her toward the door.

“You got married and did not tell your father or me?!” the woman scolds and then heaves, “How long have you even known that man?! Do you know his character?! What if he’s a stripper? What is his name?! I’m going to have your father investigate him!”

“Uh-I…I’ll tell you later. Mum, can you leave first?” I nervously plea.

“Give me a name or I’m not leaving!” the female adamantly states.

Ah, stress. STRESS. Just as I am brainstorming a list of fake names to use, the strange male walks out with a blanket tied around his hip, and answers, “My name is Kim JunMeow.”

A/N: Yo! I’m back (≚ᄌ≚) Did you guys miss me? Did you enjoy the first chapter of the new series? This is probably the only “slower” paced chapter because I had to introduce the situation but chapters here on after are fast-paced and eventful ;);) Also, do you guys like my sassy tone more or my more artistic/poetic writing? Do share your opinions!

P.S. For the record, cats are my favorite animals in this entire world, surpassing even pandas + bunnies, and you guys know I love the latter two.

Follow, like, comment, spam my inbox to motivate me. Daily updates; see you tmr.

>>My Husband, Kim JunMeow Archive<<

>>Story Master Archive<<

Any guesses on what happened in this chapter??

#exo #suho #suho scenario #suho smut #suho scenarios #exo scenario #exo scenarios #suho fanfic #exo fanfic #suho fanfiction #exo fanfiction #junmyeon #kpop fanfiction #pandabearlikes #my husband kim junmyeon

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enstaries · 7 years

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I have read every single one of your posts and I feel like I'm closer to gods light again- oh wait, no, I'm too busy loving the perfect and heavenly blessing that you are to bother acknowledging the light

im crying omg ;;;;;w;;;;; you lie its bc i reflect light (bc i go by tsukki which means moon which reflects the suns light but i digress)

but im glad you enjoyed all my content!!! also really embarrassed hides bc the old posts were gross lol anyway GAHHh thanks for reading all of them!!! and enjoying them!!! and sending this in!!! you made my day!!!!

#no updates bc my computer is being a lil bitch im so sososo sorry :-(#but thanks for this you make me hdisofhyioa so happy #tsukki's mail #anon

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binniesthighs · 3 years

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RO the most recent chapter to hello stranger had me sobbing omg👁💧👄💧👁i’m literally so soft for binnie

but srsly your writing is so amazing bubs !! i literally cannot get enough

sending love<3

-🦐anon

I apologize for the pain sweet 🦐😂 often people tell me that HS makes them cry and I feel so terrible but at the same time I hope that it’s like a good cry? Ya know? Like the kind that makes ya feel stuff 🥰 I’m fairly certain it’s a metaphorical cry tho 😂 either way lol I’m digressing hahaha I wanted to say that i TOO and so soft for this binnie i just wanna love him and hug him and protect him from the world 🥺 gahhh I’ve already been thinking about how much I’ll miss him when the story ends 😭

Thank you so very much sweets you are so kind 💕thank youuuu for reading!!

#binniesthighs 💌#binniesthighs feedback #🦐anon

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southwindscoffee · 4 years

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comparing myself to myself

I read recently that the only person you should compare yourself is to yourself. (I read it in Finding Water by Julia Cameron, if you’re wondering.)

A few comments.

First, I hate the word “should.” Just because someone else says you should do something doesn’t mean it’s true.

Digression: I actually don’t hate the word “should.” I don’t hate any word. Not even the word “moist.” I think of words like paint colors—they all can be useful, and forbidding myself from using any particular word limits creativity. There are certain circumstances where that hated word is the perfect word and should be used. note ironic use of should. I suppose there are painters who limit their palettes and only use black and white, or whatever, but it seems to me like even if I didn’t like yellow, I should use it if I’m painting a sunny landscape. note another ironic use of should. End digression.

I get anxious with the word “should” because—duh—it’s inherently anxiety-producing. I always read that I should be doing something different than I already am, which means whatever I’m doing isn’t the best thing. Isn’t perfect.

Of course, that interpretation is premised on a fallacy. Whatever I’m doing right now in this moment is alwaysthe best thing I could be doing based on all the circumstances. At least it is if I have a kind enough perspective of my own activities and enough self-forgiveness to let myself be imperfect. Meaning, if the best thing I can do right now is watch 007-Q ship videos on YouTube because I’m too mentally exhausted to contemplate anything in the real world, then that’s the best thing I can be doing. Not that I have been doing that, but if you wanted to see one, here’s what I’m talking about. Not that I know about it. You’re welcome. Also go read Partnership by Valerie Vaughn if you need that particular itch scratched. I loved that book so much. GAHHH.

Second, even though the idea has the dreaded should word, I absolutely love the idea of only comparing myself to myself.

Because it draws me back into the right focus. When I get externally focused and start looking around at what everyone else has done, I get jealous.

So, this idea reminds me to knock it off.

Instead the questions become:

Where was I last year? Last week? Yesterday? Ten years ago? When I was a child?

Also, it reminds me to spend some time thinking about those comparisons that don’t have a chronos time associated with them, but rather a sentimentality. For example, I used to believe [something old and outdated] about myself, and now I don’t do that, and I feel healthier now because of the change. Those kinds of comparisons remind me that I’m doing okay. I think those kinds of comparisons are perspective-enhancing. Life-affirming.

They remind me of the gestational period of creative ideas and the inherently interesting journey of development of anything. (I suppose it’s only inherently interesting to myself, but I’m assuming you know that you can apply what I’m writing to yourself and see if it fits. Like trying on a pair of pants. Maybe they’re too tight or bag on your waist and you shouldn’t buy them, or maybe they make your ass look fabulous and you should. What I say here could apply to you, which is why I write it, but I understand if it doesn’t. Just keep shopping for ideas until you find the perfect ones.)

Anyway, back to the point. I think the quote about only comparing yourself to yourself is very pragmatic. Because while I know comparisons are odious (thanks, Madeleine L’Engle), I do them. So, if I’m going to do them, this is a more productive way of going about it.

Should we do comparisons at all?

I don’t know. I often get inspiring ideas from looking around at other people. We all do, I’m sure. So, perhaps comparisons are only dangerous when I weaponize them, using them against myself. Using them to make myself smaller, when the whole point of self-development is to become bigger than who I was before. Kinder, more creative, happier, and more fulfilled.

Also, don’t we only live in this world relative to others? Meaning—and here I go butchering physics again—if everything is relative to another (and perhaps dependent on the viewer), then maybe comparisons are inevitable. And if something is inevitable, then perhaps it doesn’t need to be judged as something we “should” or shouldn’t do. It just is.

Comparisons are natural and normal regardless of whether I should or should not do them.

All of that is a long way of saying, be kind to myself. To yourself. And if I start beating myself up with looking around at other people, to take a step back and look at myself. And remind myself of how far I’ve come.

Also, if you didn't think I’d use an eggplant image to illustrate this, or if you don’t get it, you’re too pure for this world, and I love you. Thank you, Unsplash, for the image, as always.

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