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fanfic-corner · 4 years

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A-Spec Across Fandoms

23/10/20 - I know I have already done an a-spec post for Destiel fics, but it is asexual awareness week next week, so I thought I’d read a load of fics with ace characters from a few different shows I like! We have some Supernatural, some Doctor Who, some Sherlock, and a couple from Good Omens. Happy ace week!

Supernatural

broken when I’m lonesome by SailorChibi on AO3. (7,015 words).

Tags: Asexual Castiel, Demisexual Dean, Panromantic Castiel, Biromantic Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Has a Sexuality Crisis, Angst, Fluff, Touch-Starved, Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Castiel is Not Oblivious, comments that could be taken as ace-phobic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: After being saved from hell, Dean's old methods of coping aren't working anymore: he's not sexually attracted to anyone, and he's not interested in sex no matter how many times he climbs into bed with hot, naked women. Sam is convinced that his brother is just depressed, but Dean knows this goes deeper than that. He still craves the intimacy that can make him feel safe. Fortunately, Castiel is there to both understand and provide.

Notes: This fic really hit home. I’m not sure if it is because almost every person I have ever talked to has had some form of this conversation, but it was still cute.

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal on AO3. (6,260 words).

Tags: Punk Castiel, Asexual Castiel, College/Uni AU, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, College Student Dean, College Student Castiel, Pining, First Kiss, Misunderstandings, Art Student Castiel, Love Confessions, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Tattooed Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you're going with it.

Notes: The angst is strong in this one! Again, I feel like many aces have had this conversation or that fear that people (allos, especially) may not want to be with them.

Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi on AO3. (1,890 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hunters, Creature Castiel, Procubus Cas, Asexual Castiel, Established Relationship, Hidden Relationship, Assisted Suicide, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: "We think Cas is a procubus," Sam blurted out. Then he winced and yelped when Charlie kicked him under the table. "Ow!" "Smooth, Sam," Charlie snapped. Dean looked back and forth between them, realizing that they were both 100% serious. "A procubus." "Basically it's the sexless version of an incubus or a succubus," Charlie explained before Sam could. "It's... it's a demon that kills people by sleeping with them." She was chewing on her thumbnail now, eyes big and apologetic. Sam had done one better pasting on a truly epic kicked puppy expression of apology. "You think Cas is killing people by cuddling with them," Dean said, just to be sure.

Notes: Well that took a bit of a turn. I’m not sure why, but I love fics where Cas keeps bees, it was just so cute to see him that happy! (Even if he was crazy. Shut up).

Consolation by Trell on AO3. (1,195 words).

Tags: Aromantic, Aromantic Relationship, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexual Character.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: In which both of them are ancient, and neither of them are in love with each other.

Notes: Okay, I would first of all like to say that I do not ship Cas and Ten. I was kind of curious though, and clearly whoever wrote this ships Destiel and Ten/Rose. That being said, I am here for some angst; poor Cas and his unrequited love, and poor Ten because all his friends are dead.

Doctor Who

don’t hold this war inside by WishingTree on AO3. (1,824 words).

Tags: Asexual Yaz, Pre-Relationship, Asexual Character.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “It’s just - I’m scared,” she finally manages. “Scared?” the Doctor stills where she’s been trying to roll up the sleeves of her coat, shoving the material of one arm over her elbow and asking, “Scared of what?” Yaz doesn’t answer, can’t answer, and the Doctor goes to reach for her, aborting the movement halfway and only managing an awkward swaying motion. “...Scared of me?”

Notes: Thasmin is a ship that, had I not stumbled across it on Instagram, would never have thought of on my own. Much like Sabriel, however, now the idea is in my head, I ship it! Also, the author in this fic manages to perfectly capture the Doctor’s personality, which is quite an impressive feat.

Whatever fits my skin by lloydsglasses on AO3. (1,481 words).

Tags: Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon Gay Character, LGBTQ Character, Aromantic, Pride.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “So, does that happen to you a lot?” Bill asks once they’re safely back in the Doctor’s study, each cradling a mug of tea. “Getting snogged by gorgeous women as a thanks for saving their lives.” The Doctor sets his teacup down gently on the desk, mouth pursing in distaste. “Far more often than I’d like.”

Notes: Oh my god that was so (fucking) cute! Now I want more fics of characters going to pride. Maybe for next June. Also, I’m just saying that I hated Nardole and nothing you can say to me will make me change my mind.

Take It, Leave It (But you’d better believe it) by lloydsglasses on AO3. (760 words).

Tags: Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Cross-Generational Friendship, Asexual Character. Aromantic, Canon Gay Character, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “I told my foster mum that I’m gay. Now she keeps trying to set me up with guys."

“Ah,” says the Doctor, with a frown. “That seems… counterintuitive.”

Notes: I’ve always loved Bill and Twelve’s relationship, and this is such a cute scene! It is a crime we haven’t got more River Song content, by the way.

Crescendo by tenscupcake on AO3. (6,013 words).

Tags: Fluff, Asexual Character, Romance.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: As her relationship with the Doctor slowly develops into something a little more than friendship, Rose starts to wonder what's holding him back. But one fateful night, he confesses something that makes her realize she never had any reason to worry.

Notes: Beautifully written! I don’t think I’ve ever read a Ten/Rose fic before, but I have always shipped it and it is adorable.

Sherlock

The Important Bit by Solshine on AO3. (9,984 words).

Tags: Asexual Sherlock, Platonic Relationship, Amarriage, Same-Sex Marriage, Bromance, Domestic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

Notes: Oh, this is absolutely one of my favourite Johnlock fics now. Absolutely adorable (because I love domestic Johnlock okay), I nearly cried, and now I want all the art of Sherlock with a fancy old cane!

the art of getting by (isn’t really so artsy at all) by stupidmuse_hatesme on AO3. (6,521 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Sherlock, Romance, First Time, First Date, Slash.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “He's treating things like they're normal! Things are not normal.” Sherlock drags his hands from his mussed up hair and covers his face. “You aren't helping much,” he mumbles into his palms. “I hope you know that.” The skull only grins from his perch and says not a word. “Really, you're supposed to do more than just--sit there.”

Notes: John is so unbelievably sweet in this, but Sherlock was bit OOC.

what does the world get by coloredink on AO3. (2,302 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Sherlock, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: A women's magazine quiz leads Sherlock to investigate the nature of love.

Notes: A cute lil’ fic about exploring your (in this case, lack of) romantic and sexual attraction.

Surprisingly Simple by heeroluva on AO3. (855 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, First Kiss, Touching, Fluff, Cuddling and Snuggling. My Rating: 3 stars. Description: In which John is asexual, and Sherlock never asks. Notes: Pretty cute, and it is always nice to see a character who is just cool with it, without some massive explanation. I can dream.

Good Omens

An Honest Surrender by Kedreeva on AO3. (4,107 words).

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Post-Apocalypse, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, First Kiss, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Soulmates, Soul Bond, Aziraphale’s True Form, Crowley’s True Form, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: "For six thousand years," Crowley said, voice cracking, "I have wanted something I couldn't have, because I asked the wrong questions. But I'm asking the right one now. The only one that matters." In which Aziraphale follows Crowley home after the nonpocalypse.

Notes: Seriously, reading Good Omens fics always makes me so relaxed and sleepy it is unreal. I need to read them more often. Anyway, this is such a cute explanation for the final episode, and I loved it!

You’re the Only Prayer I Need by Kedreeva on AO3. (5,507 words).

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Wingfic, Angel Wings, Angel/Demon Relationship, Wing Grooming, Bathing/Washing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexual Relationship, Snake Crowley, Love Confessions, Trust, Non-Sexual Intimacy.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Crowley had, in the six thousand years Aziraphale had known him, shed his skin exactly twice that Aziraphale knew of. Both times he had disappeared without a trace, having retreated somewhere very safe and very, very unknown to hide while he was so vulnerable, and Aziraphale had never thought to ask beyond that information. Everyone was, he had supposed at the time, entitled to their secrets. The problem was that he had stumbled directly into this secret now, and there was hardly a graceful way out of it.

Notes: The sheer level of trust is adorable, and I’m always here for snake Crowley.

A Little Less Celestial by Kedreeva on AO3. (2,360 words).

Tags: Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual, Sharing a Bed, Ineffable Husbands, Literal Sleeping Together, Wingfic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Aziraphale accidentally falls asleep, and Crowley teaches him sleeping isn't so bad, really.

Notes: Oh my God, this was so calming to read in a way I really can’t describe? Also, now I want a bookshelf bed.

Just One Yesterday by Kedreeva on AO3. (1,952 words).

Tags: True Form Crowley, True Form Aziraphale, Ineffable Husbands, Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Post-Apocalypse, Time Travel, Time Loop, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Missing Scene.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Crowley and Aziraphale didn't stop the apocalypse on the first try, but you know what they say... try, try again.

Notes: I could not tell you the plot of this, but that image of Crowley’s true form was beautiful (and the artwork was phenomenal!).

So, there we have it! I hope you enjoy them, and have a nice week. By the way, if you have instagram, please would you consider following @justaceofficial? They are trying to get funding for a TV series which focuses on an asexual main character, and they ran an asexual advent running up to this week!

#spn #doctor who #good omens #sherlock #johnlock #ineffable husbands #ten/rose #destiel #asexual #aromantic #twelve

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jupitermelichios · 4 years

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Jupiter’s Top 10 Fic Series of the Decade

In no particular order (and belonging to no particular fandom)

Honourable Mentions: Of Hunters & Hellblazers by KittyAug - Self Help by maskedfangirl - Bad Jokes by hahaharley - Doubtful Sanity by DustToDust - Wilton’s Bakery ‘Verse by machine_dove & sproings - Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc by etothepii - New Favourite F Word by Polaris - little beasts by noctiphany & likewinning

drawn into something by Nonymos (Venom, Eddie/Venom, Dan/Anne, Eddie/Venom/Dan/Anne)

“Eddie, you… and him.”

“Yeah.” Eddie stares at the floor. “And… and look, Annie, I know it’s weird, but I can explain, I…”

His voice breaks, he’s damn near tearing up, panic rising again—and he jumps when Anne cups his face.

“Hey, it’s—it’s all right, Eddie.” She’s making a valiant effort to smile. “Don’t get so worked up. I’m not gonna run screaming.”

“No?” He laughs and sniffs. “Damn. Starting to wonder what it’s gonna take, at this point.”

This is not Nonymos’s only entry on this list. In fact they may just be my favourite fanfic author of all time. Drawn into something is everything everything I want from a Venom sequel, emotional, kinky, romantic, and poly.

OTP: Fight Club by MorganOfTheFey (Detroit: Become Human, RK900/Gavin)

"One hundred. Ten X," Nines says, voice flat enough it almost doesn't sound like bragging. "I would have been decommissioned otherwise."

"Ohhhh. Aw, that's sad. Just," She tries to snap her fingers and gets distracted for a moment when she can't. "Jus'like that?"

"Yeah RK, that's so sad," Gavin echoes. "Can you play yourself despacito?"

His own phone blares the song barely a second later. Gavin drops a few f-bombs fumbling to get it out of his jacket pocket and turn it off. Then as soon as he puts it back in his pocket, it starts up again.

"Thank you for the suggestion, detective," RK900 says. "This is making me feel better."

The fourth part of this is still coming out, and it’s the highlight of my week when the new chapter drops.

Dreams of the Waking Man by Lex_Munroe (Marvel Comics, Wade/Cable, Daken/Bullseye, Wade & Hope)

All at once, it hurts. It hurts worse than the day Nate died (because Wade couldn’t accept it back then, insisted that Nate had managed to timeslide out, that the busted old telemetry circuit would only let him go forward and he was just lost for a little while).

He sits in the middle of the floor, ducks his head, cries.

She was smarter than he was—than he is. She’d known all along. Brave girl.

Timesliding doesn’t work right on Wade, never has, and their cobbled-together sliding module barely had power to take one stringy teenager for one jump.

She’d known she was leaving her parents, that she certainly wouldn’t see one of them again and quite possibly wouldn’t see the other.

Wade allows himself a moment more for grief and shame and humility. Then he clears his throat and wipes his eyes and gets back to work.

This may be the cleverest fic I’ve ever read. Crossovers, theoretical physics, and the best love story Marvel never wrote.

The Mountains Are The Same by bonehandledknife & Primarybufferpanel (Mad Max: Fury Road, Furiosa/Max, Furiosa/Ace, Everyone & Healthy Coping Mechanisms)

“'Real isn’t how you are made’” Gilly said with the air of a quote, of a Remembering, “'It’s a thing that happens to you.’”

Rotor closed his eyes in a long blink, “A thing that hurts, innit it right?”

“Sometimes,” Gilly agreed, squeezing his hand, “That’s life though, when you are Real. We all become it bit by bit. But it doesn’t happen if you’re not strong, if you’re not soft, if you’re not sturdy.”

“ But how can y'be all of those at once ?” he wheezed out. It’s getting hard to catch his breath.

“You are all that right now, aren’t you?” Gilly asked him with piercing eyes, “No one else of all these Boys has had the strength to ask for me. And I will Witness you as I have kept all those of my sisters who’ve fallen these past days.”

This series is not always easy, it doesn’t shy away from the hard or the dark or the painful, but it is always worth reading.

The Unspoken Truth by Nonymos (MCU, Clint/Loki)

Barton glared at him like he was trying to decide whether he was being mocked or not, but the next second, his shoulders slumped. Loki was familiar with the feeling – that dreadful feeling of discovering something repulsive in one's own nature.

And then, he waited. He waited for Barton to think and connect the dots, to realize that an obvious solution was standing just before him, to remember how he had felt when waking up tied down, or being forced to drink down the water. The demi-god just stood there, hoping – almost praying for the first time in his life – that his enemy would look up at him with something else than hatred in his eyes.

No one writes kink quite like Nonymos writes kink, and this series is the perfect encapsulation of that.

The Stone Gryphon by rthstewart (Narnia, primarily Gen)

"Tools!" Richard was so shocked he was near speechless. He sat down heavily on the bench and began writing frantically in that strange code. "You are saying that you have observed ordinary crows use tools? Peter, that is… remarkable."

"Well, I've seen Beavers use fishing tackle and sewing machines, so it didn't seem that unusual at the time."

I’m not going to lie, this may not be to everyone’s taste. But, amateur theologian, lover of weird animal facts, and history nerd that I am, there are very few fics more exactly tailored to my interests.

Republic of Heaven Community Radio by ErinPtah (WtNV x His Dark Materials, Cecil/Carlos)

The greeting catches both her and Carlos off-guard. It's not wrong to talk directly to another person's daemon, but it's still a little weird. "Likewise," she stammers.

They're both waiting for the obvious next step, which is for Cecil to introduce his daemon. The fact that Carlos hasn't spotted her yet is understandable — a big community gathering in a small space, you get plenty of daemons breaking away from their humans to socialize directly with each other. Any of the dozen animal shapes currently within ten feet of them could be Cecil's. If his daemon has an unusually high range, there are even more possibilities.

What Cecil says instead is, "If you ever have any important experimental-theology news that you need to share with the town, call me any time! Everyone listens to my show." There's a touch of what Carlos hopes is nothing more sinister than smugness when he adds, "Everyone."

He steps out of the way to let someone else interrogate Carlos, and vanishes into the crowd. Carlos doesn't get a chance to see what daemon he leaves with.

This may be the most carefully thought out crossover I’ve ever read, and I’m a little in awe of ErinPtah’s skills.

The Soul in the Machine by missdreawrites & Troodon (Dishonoured, Corvo/Outsider)

“... Outsider?” Corvo asked, sitting down on the filthy floor. “In the published list of the people who died of the Plague… how many were registered Augments?”

“Son of a bitch, ” Corvo swore with feeling. “This is… look at this waste. We aren't even people to them, are we?” He looked down at the body next to him. “And I killed the one person who could help. I did this. I doomed an entire people to plague, and murder and…”

The cyberpunk Dishonoured AU I desperately wish I’d thought of, because it works so very well.

In Which Tony Stark Builds Himself Some Friends (But His Family Was Assigned by Nick Fury) by scifigrl47 (MCU, Steve/Tony)

“Do you know what the difference between a villain and a super villain is, Stark?” Coulson said, leaning his palms on the tabletop, looming over everything like a very snappily dressed gargoyle.

“Style?” Tony asked, pointing both index fingers in Coulson's direction like the gunslinger that he was. He added a wide grin to the gesture, but Coulson didn't seem to notice.

“A villain has a giant mass of robotic vacuum cleaners that he can sic on his enemies. A super villain gives them the ability to fly.”

“In my defense, I do not actually remember installing repulsor technology in the Roombas,” Tony said, choosing his words carefully. It had been a working theory, sure, but he still wasn't quite sure when he implemented it. Maybe sometime on Tuesday night... That one was a blur. “It was a very long couple of days. So I was as surprised by that as everyone else.”

This doesn’t really count as a rec, since everyone in the fandom has read it already, but it really wouldn’t be fair to draw up a ‘best of the 2010s’ list and not include this.

A Great and Gruesome Height by mokuyoubi (Hannibal, Will/Hannibal)

Bedelia lashes out but Will is quicker. He grabs her wrist, pressing hard between the delicate bones with his thumb, until she makes a soft noise of distress and drops the fork.

Hannibal purses his lips and leans in close to her ear. “Now that is disappointing,” he whispers, and Bedelia has the good sense to be afraid with that mouth so near her skin. He inhales her scent deeply and straightens. “I thought you and I were beyond such petty jabs.”

“Were it not for the fact that you required medical attention, I have no doubt I would have met a similarly crass ending at the hands of your pet,” she says, lip curling in disgust.

Hannibal smiles serenely and says, “Will is a creature entirely of his own making. It is not to me to guide his hand. Merely to share in the sublime perfection of his vision, when he allows it.”

There are many dark!Will stories out there, and most of them are a lot of fun, but few are quite at believable as this one.

#top 10 list #top 10 fic #stony #hannigram #symbrock #cablepool #reed900 #cecilos #frosthawk #fic recs

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arodrwho · 5 years

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critrole 2.52 lb

o man i hope the internet doesn’t get fucky on me here. it always wonks out more on twitch than on the. what is the word. on the. the. what is the WORD. the youtube

oh boy it’s sam’s ad time

i don’t think we needed the iq joke there but okay

well this should be fun

ah. there goes the twitch stream. it has fucked right off

i didn’t pay attention to any of that but the very end but the voice was 10/10 dramatic

“didn’t know it was on your ancient equivalent of radar” i mean on the one hand that’s fair bc u did dance around what u rly wanted for a long time, but i’m pretty sure u did actually reference it at some point during ur big backstory reveal so it is not unreasonable for caleb to know the thing

“i guess a lot of u is up here?” “eh...it’s, all of me is up here” lmao

echolalia caduceus.........

hey who is ur boss i am now curious

“how bout this. when we get to the city, i jus never see u again” i love this bugbear. he is good

oooooo are u going to talk about the thiiiiiing the thing w/the light are u going to talk about that

aHA

the luxon

dodecahed.ron. well that i was not expecting

“the original god of exandria” o ? neat

“i think we have like a holy relic or sth” oh dear.

“i don’t want to be a baby again, being a baby sucked!!” “oh no! you’re getting younger right now!!!” “shit!!!!!!!!”

“sorry beau, just gonna say too soon for the whole reincarnate business” “ah shit, sorry” i love. this interaction

“that hurts a little” lmfao

“only new 1 male tiefling” oh god

“like a twin” aww

big shell.....................

Big Shell.......................................

of your what ascension

“he’s fucking hot, and, you know, 50/50 my husband’s dead” okay so they want me to give up on ace nott as well as aro nott. well. i did in fact not give up on aro nott on discovering she was married, just jumped over to arospec. so i guess acespec isn’t out of the question

or i can jus have her as an allo aro hc

mmmm yeah why not

that’ll do

i love this npc.........i love him....................

oh god i hadn’t considered they don’t know what she’s saying

i’m wheezing

“i’m in a bit of a pickle to be honest” ooooooo do tell

“600 & a tiny dick statue” “sold!!!”

oh it’s whisper time

+1 for ace caleb bc i said so

fok i forgot to pay attention, didn’t see caduceus’s reaction to that nonsense

FLUFFERNUTTEr,,,,,

“fireline”? another con? excitinG

jester looks so dejected

whoops guess who hasn’t been paying attention it’s me

thanks for not letting her die fjord

“how do u touch nott” not like that my dude don’t be weird

“sunbreaker is that u” “no one’s ever called me that before but,” lmao

“motherfuckyou” lmao x2

did u. just yeehaw

hey jester ily

hey shit. yasha’s unconscious that’s not great i saw a post that said that is bad bc of a thing that these things get

i mean like she’ll live, there’s clerics, but like u know. concern

alright sweet she lives, wasn’t even unconscious, cool cool cool

beau dejectedly killing the rats is. an image

hell portal hell portal hell portal

caleb has so much lore this episode

so much lore...........

:( internet keeps cutting out & skipping ahead

“well caleb would not have understood everything he read that day” oh no i don’t want secondhand embarrassment pls don’t sound embarrassed my me can’t cope w/that

internet no for real please stop being like this this is real annoying

god this is obnoxious

i caught a very brief glimpse of cad’s reaction to what i think was a comment abt the purple polymorph dick? not long enough to say for sure but i think that may be another v small drop in the bucket of ace cad things

g o d this stream is fucking obnoxious

i wouldn’t mind the cutting out so much if it didn’t keep skipping ahead at other later points

“we had a deal, no, but that’s amazin” hey i love this man

“the detectives will go in” :D!

“we gotta go tell lady z!!!” nott i love u

“fast-as-lightning!” “super drunk sometimes!!” jester. jester no

Empire Spy

ohhhh that’s handysounding

beep beep what the fuck is consecuting

are we gonna stop for the night here it seems a natural stopping point as they go 2 sleep

but i want more so pls continue a little perhaps

no?

alrighty then cool cool cool cool cool cool

#daypost #cr spoilers

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firstumcschenectady · 5 years

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“Find Joy” based on Isaiah 66:10-14 and Psalm 66:-19

Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning.

- Psalm 30:5b

I have a fondness for … um... expressive language ;), and that fondness was significantly stronger when I was in college. However, in April during every year of college I cleaned up my language to pristine levels. I did it so that when I got to camp, I would not accidentally speak a word that would harm, or offend, or get repeated by any of our campers with special needs. We were also careful then, as we are now, not to offer too many hugs or to permit any loosening of manners – not to allow anything at camp that would cause potential harm in the real world.

I did this because I loved our campers, and I wanted them to be safe, secure, and at ease both at camp and in the world.

During my second year of seminary I started an internship with an urban church, one that was doing important ministry with people who were homeless. People who are homeless are more likely to be assaulted – both physically and sexually. People who are homeless are often hungry, unable to get clean, struggling with physical health, and most people who are homeless for a long time end up with an addiction even if they didn't start out with one. Being homeless is one of the hardest and most vulnerable positions in our society, if not THE hardest.

The history I'd learned in college about the closing of state hospitals for people with disabilities, and the resulting (continued) failure of the system to care for the most vulnerable people in our society suddenly became very clear in reality. People who were in the same population as Sky Lake's beloved special needs campers were homeless on the streets of Los Angeles. The disconnect between the intentional care I'd been offering to God's beloved people with special needs at camp and the reality that people with special needs were being assaulted every day on the streets of LA, and that society was doing NOTHING to change it broke open my heart.

I have not recovered yet.

Instead, over the past 15 years, I've discovered more and more ways that the world is fundamentally broken and been disillusioned repeatedly. Some wise ones have pointed out that is it because of the color of my skin and the stability of my childhood that I was able to be so naive to begin with, and they're right. Yet, for me seeing the world as it is, and seeing clearly what its priorities are and are not, is painful. Similarly, seeing the church as it is, and seeing clearly what its priorities are and are not has been painful.

I believe that part of the purpose of church is to offer a God's vision for the world to the people, and as such to offer hope that we can build the kindom together. Further, I believe that the pastor's role is to be a speaker of the vision, and of hope. People NEED hope, and our faith tradition offers it. It has been hard at times, though, to have integrity and be truthful about the brokenness, and simultaneously offer real hope. The challenge, I think, has been in my own discomfort with reality. Once reality is accepted, then it can be worked on, but I've been struggling for years to accept that things really are as broken as abundant evidence points to.

The realities of the world, however, are exactly WHY we need to speak hope – real hope – and be inspired by God's visions of justice. We can't just let ourselves wallow, we have to face reality, but we can't offer weak or trivial hope. The world, and its people, NEED to know that another way of being is possible, and we can create it together.

Family Systems theory teaches us that when we are anxious, we get more close minded. When systems (groups of people) are anxious, they get more close-minded too. They take less risks. They make worse decisions. They create anxiety in their people, and then people with raised anxiety tend to revert to old ways of functioning and coping mechanisms that often do more harm than good: gossip, triangulation, demonizing others, consuming, addictive behaviors, lashing out, etc. Anxiety can easily become it's own self-perpetuating cycle.

Dear ones, the anxiety in our systems right now are at unhealthy levels. I remember reading articles during the 2016 election cycle about the impact the election was having on our shared mental health (it was bad). It has gotten worse. The injustices around us take a toll every day, and I hear from all of us how much we want to create change. It doesn't help right now to be part of the United Methodist Church, because being part of a CHURCH that is an oppressor is really darn depressing, and adds our anxiety and dismay. Further, in this particular congregation, we've been working on something that is also really hard: we've been in conversations about balancing our budget, which we have not done since 2004. (And even that was a bit of an anomaly.) We have been living beyond our means for a long time. Balancing the budget requires making difficult decisions about who we are and what we do and what is imperative to our shared life together, and it requires that we have really difficult conversations where we don't all agree – and that is anxiety producing as well.

It is tempting, in these days, to give up: to stick our heads in the sand, or to lash out in anger, or to become comatose on the couch. It is REALLY easy to let the anxiety win.

But.

Dear ones, beloveds of God, we aren't going to do that. We aren't going to give in and we aren't going to lash out. We aren't going to let anxiety take over. We are going to keep on keeping on, working towards the kindom, loving each other, spreading love and goodness in the world, and trusting that God works with us, through us, and when necessary despite of us. We are going to find the ways to let go of the anxiety, and find some trust and some hope, and be sources of transformation.

We are going to break out of the cycles, because anxiety is terrible for us, it is terrible for the world, and it enables all the things we don't want to see! Now, here is the weird twist. Given all the brokenness of the world, it can feel really disrespectful, or trite, or privileged, or even mean to …. have fun, seek joy, laugh, and play. (Or even just to take breaks and deal with reality for a bit.) That's real! I know how hard it can be to enjoy life when we know the awful things that are happening, but I want to share with you wisdom that I heard second hand. This wisdom came from a person who was impoverished and disenfranchised in a country with dictatorial rule. That person was asked, “Why are you so joyful when things are so bad!?” And they responded, “Why would we let them take our joy too? It is all we have left.”

Joy, it turns out, is resistance. Joy is OURS to claim, and we shouldn't give it up, because giving it up won't help anyone – in fact it will hurt everyone. The world needs more joy.

Joy, unlike anxiety, creates space for creativity, for connection, for hope. Out of the box thinking can happen when joy replaces anxiety, and the problems of the world today REALLY need new solutions. Joy makes space for people to regain their humanity. And laughter really is the best medicine (trust me, I laughter until I cried at camp – twice – and I haven't felt so whole since before General Conference). Whatever you do, dear ones, don't cut out joy from your life.

And, if you need help getting to joy – which is totally fair – most wisdom teachers say gratitude is the way to get there. So, practice advice here: keep a gratitude journal, and take 5 minutes at the end of each day to notice what you are grateful for in that day. Putting our attention on what is good is a great way to create more good, and to make space in our lives for joy.

Now for the REALLY good news. Our God is a God who knows all about oppression, and has worked to overcome it throughout all of history. In all these years where I have become further and further disillusioned with society and the world, I have found great comfort in the Bible. The Bible is VERY WELL AWARE of the brokenness of the world, of the reality of domination systems, AND of the power of God to break them open.

The Bible tells this story innumerable times, but there are three really big versions of thie story: (1) The Bible says that God knows about the oppression of slavery, and moves to free the people who are enslaved. (2) The Bible says God knows about the oppression of exile, and moves the people to restoration. (3) The Bible says God knows about the oppression of being part of empire because of the force of the military, and moves the people to empowerment, to resistance, and ultimately to freedom. That is, the stories of (1) Exodus, of (2) Exile and Return, and (3) of the ministry of Jesus.

The passage from Isaiah today is a response to Exile and Return, and it speaks in the language of God as mother of the people, nursing them and caring for them. After a WHOLE LOT of condemnation of the injustices of ancient Israel, in the end of Isaiah we hear, “ Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice with her in joy, all you who mourn over her-- that you may nurse and be satisfied from her consoling breast; that you may drink deeply with delight from her glorious bosom.” Rejoice with Jerusalem, despite it's history of oppression, despite its history of exile and destruction, none of those are the final words. The final words are that God cares for the people and finds a way to nurture them and it brings great joy. The final words in the book of Isaiah are God's comfort, and care, and the people's JOY.

I've told you before, but this bears repeating: Our faith says that Love wins in the end, and if Love hasn't won yet, then it isn't the end yet. (In this case Love and God are interchangeable.) The brokenness of day is not the final answer, God is still at work. We are still partnering with God to make things better. So, in the meantime, practice gratitude, find joy, allow for rest, and in doing so let go of anxiety. God is working, and looking for for open-hearted, loving, partners to work alongside. May we find MANY ways to be those people, and encourage each other towards joy. Amen

Rev. Sara E. BaronFirst United Methodist Church of Schenectady603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305Pronouns: she/her/hershttp://fumcschenectady.org/ https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

#Thinking Church #Progressive Christianity #Rev Sara E Baron #fumc schenectady #Schenectady #UMC #Sorry about the UMC #Reconciling Church #All means all #Joy comes in the morning #don't give up joy #Love Wins In The End #My boyfriend Isaiah

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