#I WASN'T EXPECTING TO FEEL THIS MUCH MAN

[toonstarterz]

Finally saw Elemental.

It's exactly what was marketed: a gorgeous tale about allowing yourself to find love as the child of 2nd generation parents and discovering your own identity between the world you were born from and the world you grew up in.

I actually shed a tear.

#elemental #pixar #disney i guess #ember #wade #I WASN'T EXPECTING TO FEEL THIS MUCH MAN #hints of this in turning red #the FULL EXPERIENCE with THIS movie

[antiqua-lugar]

fun fact, during my first fully blind playthrought of bg3 I honestly thought gale was the writers' favourite if nothing else because of how much varied dialogue he had. like I never reallly had a conversation with astarion that wasn't about his trauma, his vampirism or how boring I am for not wanting to take over a cult but I knew all of gale's hobbies, two or three childhood's anecdotes and the whole history of tara, who he was making plans to introduce to me later.

#like i was honestly feeling sorry that astarion wasn't allowed even a single conversation about idk the fucking weather #i think because subconscously I was also comparing it to da2 which was careful to try to give characters more than just their trauma so #so I was like poor astarion he's just the trauma character #and then i found out HE was god's specialest princess #despite the fact that the official specialest princess still got conversatons about things that aren't her trauma DESPITE HAVING AMNESIA #bg3 #i don't even know where I am going about this it's just something that really stuck out to me about the writing #anyway thank god larian immediately set me straight and let me know my beloved wizard is actually the writers punching bag #god forbid I break my strike of not being wild over the more popular character in an rpg I guess #oh and they let me know i was supposed to be annoyed rather than going oh man I am glad I am learning so much about gale #like I understood why lae'zel had less content and expected her to have more in act 3 which she didn't but whatever #she should have #i mean now having played with everyone in the party for the whole game they all need more content but still #like astarion has more content than anyone else but also somehow I know less about him than anyone and like why

[pennyserenade]

every time i hear someone speak about pedro pascal outside of my groups of people, i’m shocked. i forget that he’s a genuinely famous person, known by many, because i’m just so used to people not knowing who he is irl. i’ll never consider pedro pascal globally famous even though he very much is bc in my mind he belongs in the hearts and souls of about fifty of us

#misc. #i just heard someone talk abt him in the unbearable weight of massive talent on tiktok #and i froze. i was not expecting that #i feel like he's on the edge of being very very famous too #bc like a lot of his roles were so small -- despite feeling very big -- or they were just in films that didn't do great #or in projects where he wasn't the main characters #and i know the mandalorian is huge but he's not seen much in it so #i think tlou is gonna do big big things for that man #and i'm not ready. i'm scared

[lovelaceisntdead]

I started watching severance. Gnawing on my arm.

#i know I KNOW I'm very late to the party #i think I'm four episodes in and just. i get why people where talking about it. #i don't want to say anything much until I've finished but i am very much IN #feeling a little bit insane #i certainly wasn't expecting the performances to be bad but adam scott man. this is his best i think. #and i say that as a devout ben wyatt enjoyer

[licorishh]

Most people really don't seem to understand that friendship is a two-way street.

They expect you to wait on them hand and foot as they rant about and constantly pour on you either their issues or their passions and when you finally have something you'd like to talk about you get a "Man that sucks :/" or a "Cool" in return.

Find somebody who doesn't do that. Then you'll have your best friend.

#i know i ramble sometimes and i'm extremely grateful that my best friend puts up with it :') #but see then in return i do the same for her because it would be completely unfair for me to expect her to act like a wall for me to talk a #or when i wanna show her something and i can tell she's being polite and it doesn't personally strike her fancy I MOVE ON #and she does the same for me and we have way frickin better communication and we have a frickin rad friendship #it's give and take #and also can we bring back the idea of being able to work through some things on your own? #like i am ALL FOR having a support system that can encourage you when things go wrong but some things can be solved on your own #i shouldn't be bearing the burden of figuring out your life for you you know? #i'm absolutely willing to help but if you're just going to spend all your time complaining to me and never ever take my advice #then there comes a point at which i'm literally just acting as your therapist and that's not how friendships are supposed to work #i've become kind of the designated therapist in a lot of friendships throughout my life #and it is exhausting constantly being complained at (sometimes over very minor things) #only to have that person or people COMPLETELY ignore your advice every single time you try to give it #that's not friendship my dude that's using me because you just want someone to complain to #like i said. support system good. treating your friend like an emotional punching bag to let out your problems 24/7 very very bad. #like when i was feeling completely unlike myself and irritated and frustrated for three dang years straight #i didn't really talk about it much because i knew it wasn't the kind of thing advice was going to fix #so i wasn't in the discord servers every two seconds “MAN I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD :///” #because when other people do this to me there comes a point at which i'm like “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT” #like i've given you all the advice i have and you have taken absolutely none of it nor have you taken any action on your own #so now i'm just here to make you feel better about yourself and that's really not my job #emotional support is necessary. patting you on the head when you refuse to do anything to better your situation is not. #tl;dr people who refuse to do anything to better their situation other than complain to ME about it 24/7 drive me nuts #and it drives other people nuts so please don't do it to anyone #don't bottle up your emotions but also don't let them come crashing down and drown everyone you know #just because you can't be bothered to put ANY effort forth to contain them #emotional regulation is attractive~~~ #society today has built such a culture of “it's not YOUR fault and if you cry about it hard enough someone will fix it for you” like no sir #sometimes it IS your fault and sometimes you DO need to take responsibility #and if it is your fault then absolutely no one but you is obligated to fix it

[moe-broey]

Something something about how Moe is both and neither due to its failure to perform or achieve "either" set of gendered expectations, regardless of its own personal feelings of gender identity (which is complex in and of itself), which results in it ultimately fitting in nowhere.

#moe tag #like moe's identity is exclusively masculine but its 'doing it wrong' on purpose. fag style. #and in this performance it still doesn't quite fit with the men. it's ultimately something else. #and ofc there is the failure to adhere to cis feminity/expectations. it's doing it wrong bc it was never capable of doing that correctly #even if it 'seemed' like it was. it wasn't. #i think this is why moe has become such a fascinating way for me to express and explore my own gender identity #where there are significant differences. moe is literally just more well-written LMFAOOOO #like what do you mean you're a feminine trans man. that you're exclusively a man when you look Like That. #moe just cuts to the chase by being genderqueer and therefore 'other' by default. #and the way that it is does very much feel like the way i experience my gender despite my own view of myself #even though i'm a man. i'll never be 'a man' in the same way the average joe is. hell i bet there are other transmen #who 'achieve' manhood in a way i cannot. which isn't really a judgement or an insecurity for me like more power to them #it's just me expressing objectively that no matter how easy it is for me to view myself the way i do #i'm always going to be subjected to the perception of others. some will get it. some won't. #and that's sort of what i mean about being 'othered' despite my own view of myself/ #despite moe's own view of itself. again it's just so much more easy and concise to explain w moe bc its identity #exists outside of the binary. while a huge core of mine is that it DOES exist in the binary. i'm just a faggot about it LMFAO

[delyth88]

Jacinda just resigned.

#i feel more about this than expected. #she was a politician who didn't try to act like a man to be authoritative #i mean we had Helen Clark. who i also admired. but she was kinda terrifying from memory #although i was a lot younger #Jacinda on the other hand was able to be nice as well as the authority. gentle. understanding. #all sorts of things i'm not used to seeing from people in charge #my department's egm was like this during the lockdowns too which was another great example #but its an even better example when its your PM #she's also 2 days older then me 😅 #so i feel perhaps more of a connection than inusually would to a politician #i mean i get it. if i'd had to run the effing country through a volcanic disaster. a terrorist attack. and a pandemic i'd be tired too! #her comment to Clark saying lets get married now was adorable #and her feeling on her decision was so evident #while Labour didn't achieve nearly as much as I'd hoped it wasn't exactly a smooth run so i get it #but #thank you Jacinda #jacinda ardern #nz #new zealand #politics #real life

[threadsun]

Oh WAIT more silly Secret Sun Lore™: I didn't suspect I was bipolar until my roommate in uni watched me go into a manic episode and clean our entire dorm room top to bottom in half an hour (like fully scrubbing the floors and all) while rambling at top speed about how I'm probably immortal for the third time in like a month and was like "hey bro, you know that's not normal, right?"

#sunshine #he was very chill about it but was just like 'you know that's weird right man?' #and then I talked to a psychiatrist and she was like 'oh yeah you hit every criteria for bipolar type 2' #and now I'm on meds that mostly help :3c #but sometimes I still get a lil manic and then you get me rambling in the tags and thinking about everything way too much way too fast #but it keeps me in control of my impulses now #so I don't do or say things I regret later during manic episodes anymore which is nice! #now I'm thinking too much and too fast about social stigmas around mental illness #and how people worry about interacting with me when I'm manic #which is annoying because I'm still Me when I'm manic? What are people so afraid of? #like people will listen to me talk/watch me post when I'm manic like 😬 cause they expect me to feel embarrassed about it later #or like... not feel the same way as I do when I'm manic and therefore no longer mean what I said/posted? #but nah that doesn't happen when I'm medicated #I'm just Sun but like 5x speed and that's okay #I can be interacted with safely when I'm like this #like listen if I'm coherent enough to format things and correct all my spelling errors and stuff then I'm fine #if I wasn't okay then my posts wouldn't be readable #secret sun lore

[wildflowercryptid]

You got me into Detective Grimoire and Tangle Tower and now we're getting The Mermaid's Tongue!! aaaaaaa!!! When do you think we'll be getting it? I hope it'll be earlier half of 2024 because I'm so excited for it!!

aaaa it makes me really happy knowing people have gotten into detective grimoire through me, it's such a good series so i'm glad it's getting more eyes on it! i think it's really cool that a lot of the recent attention the game has gotten on tumblr seems to be a result of word of mouth / artists getting into the game, ( i actually deiced to play tt because someone i already followed kept sharing allie's hawkshaw au and that got me curious about the game. ) hopefully, the fandom will be even more active soon thanks to a new game coming out. i'd love to see that!

as to when i think it'll come out, i'm also hoping for an early 2024 release since i'm impatient and want to play it as soon as possible. still, there's a lot of work that goes into creating games and i obviously don't want them to rush it out so i'm willing to wait however long it takes for them to polish the game. i'm thinking late spring / early summer at the earliest or early fall at the latest.

#there's a part of me that wants to snoop through the demo's files to help gauge how much is done #but that feels... wrong since the full game isn't out yet so i'll be a man of honor and not do that #honestly i wasn't expecting sfb to announce a new dg game yet since crow country isn't out yet #that'll probably effect when mermaid's tongue gets released too now that i think about it #well either way i'm excited and don't know what to do with myself now #i was gonna play psychonauts but uh i'm too distracted now maybe i'll try drawing instead #mermaid's tongue hype train #<- i don't wanna spam the dg tag but still want to let ppl mute me being annoying so here's a tag for my hype ramblings #asks #mj.txt

[lisbonsteresa]

you don't get how crazy i'm going over this

#like....LIKE????? #not even talking about the lisbon of it all (we have to though these things are intrinsically connected but we're holding off for now) #i'm so....proud? of this little fictional man? #was the setup a little silly? maybe (but i loved every SECOND of it i can't BELIEVE i actually got a big blowout and a lowest point- #realization AND a rush to the airport confession that's SO) #this payoff was so SO worth it for me #and honestly i don't think the setup was even THAT silly -- what did lisbon say in 4.24? he had to hit rock bottom and know it or something #that's this. hurting her like this is his rock bottom (see you can't ignore the lisbon of it all - which i LOVE) #even with all the crazy shitty things he's done up until now; especially to HER; it was to get red john; he had that to fall back on #(not that he really saw it as a fallback but it gave him something else to focus on/something to justify his methods) #but after red john (episode not person) he doesn't have that anymore and he's been floundering ESPECIALLY when it comes to her #this wasn't a con (*not an official con) this was him doing something shitty and her finally having had enough #and him realizing just how right she's been; she was right on the first plane this season and she was right at the blue bird #and he's finally able to admit to himself just how much of a shit he's been...and then he's able to admit a lot of other things too #that little bit of honestly led to so much more and it let him FINALLY say out loud what they both knew (as much as they ignored it #or talked around it or pushed it down) and it let him say it without pretenses or expectations; just because #he 'needed to get to this' and she 'deserved to hear it' and i'm usually kind of meh on 'i needed to say it/you needed to hear it' #but this one; this one i GET #and i'm not explaining myself well at all i'm delirious but the point is this is SO well done and it feels DESERVED for me i love it #tm

[jankwritten]

tw: vent post

tonight is one of those nights where every single thing feels negative and i don't know why. like everything feels like it's wrong and bad. i feel like i'm failing somehow when i'm literally not even doing anything. i love christmas so much but holy fucking shit does it destroy me mentally every fucking year.

#vent post #i don't know guys #i'm having such a fucking bad time tonight #m just gonna curl up in bed and watch hockey stuff i guess #it's partially because i just got news that we're getting a nasty blizzard thingy and we're gonna get like 2 feet of snow or something #by christmas #which basically means i won't be able to see mymom or brother on christmas #even though they live like 15 minutes away #feel like i'm failing at everything even though i know nobody really expects much from me #failed at making gifts for people on time #failing at looking for/thinking about getting a job #failing at getting myself in to see a doctor/therapist #failing at being able to see my fucking family for the holidays #mmmmm #m gonna be okay #i just fucking hate this part #doesn't help that i feel like i'm also failing at writing this chapter of hockey au #hockey au in general feels like i'm failing rn #man fuck. this was supposed to be my first xmas in 3 years where i wasn't working i wasn't in school i was just supposed to be stress free #able to see my family #and now my parents are fucking divorced there's a blizzard coming and all i have to show for it is a stack of shitty presents for my dad #fuck man #maybe the kraken will win the game i'm watching and i'll get a little spark of joy from that haha

[daz4i]

if i may complain for a bit about something that doesn't actually matter and can be easily avoided. god i hate fics that baby-fy chuuya

#yeah yeah i know just don't read them w/e. there's no tags to avoid these unfortunately 😐 #it kinda feels like a fanon of fanon. it's so far removed from his canon self even if some core elements are there. #why write him like a 15 y/o even as an adult. and the thing is. even when he was 15 in canon he wasn't this childish. c'mon. #a lot of the most popular skk fics have him characterized like this and man I'm tired. look how they massacred my boy. #ok complaining session over. i feel like i sound kinda mean. sorry abt that. #it doesn't actually matter that much just a bit frustrating when it keeps happening when you're already a couple hundred words into a fic #edit: i lied I'm not done complaining i gotta turn this into a rant bc ppl misunderstanding my favorite character online is a crime. #childish was the wrong word for me to use ig it's more like. innocent. #girl. bestie. he has been part of criminal organizations quite literally since he remembers himself. #he is not some sweet uwu baby who's a bit of a tsundere or w/e. he's got genuine reasons to be angry yknow. he's been through shit #and he's not innocent? he's in the fucking mafia lol we literally see him kill like 20 people in 5 minutes at 15 y/o. #he's not naive either???? he may not be dazai levels of smart but he's still capable of figuring things out himself???? #like he did figure out rimbaud's thing by himself. he's not stupid or slow. he wouldn't be a mafia executive otherwise. #and that's also the reason he can't be naive like... he is in constant danger after all #and idk watering down all this^ for aus is boring and turning him into practically an oc but it's even worse in canonverse #or literally any au where he suffers the same amount as he does in canon. bc then what's your excuse for watering him down. #it feels like forcing him into this very clear cut mold you see in every media when he is literally. not that. #no one in bsd is honestly that's part of its charm imo. they all subvert your expectations of their character archetypes #i think this is why it's making me so angry bc it doesn't feel like just misunderstanding the character but also the whole story. in a way. #am i going too far? perhaps. i dunno. i do feel less Dirty after letting out this frustration tho. #complaining session is now officially over okay. yes. sorry. i don't mean to offend anyone sorry if i sound mean at any point.

[deafeningwizardsquare]

Mmmmmmmmh, is that "Good TLSQ" that I smell?

Now give me back Angelica and her platonic feelings for Jacob and I'll bury the hatchet, Jam City. Possibly bring me back also MC doing Fleix's cosplayer with the polyjuice potion.

Even in a post about Penny's bestie, I still ask justice for 2018 lore and most importantly for the prefects. #justicefortheprefects

Jacob and his running away form responsibilities can go to hell, more things Scarlett-like, please!!

#my dear folks #THAT'S MY JAM CITY! #I liked this quest a lot? #not gonna lie I expected worst and oh man I love Scarlett #Unfortunately she'll probably end up begin Aurélie 2.0 and never seen her again #also #For the firstly time I actually liked Penny? #her behaviour wasn't thath much predictable #when she started crying I see some 2018's lore back🤧🤧🤧 #they are doing a good job recently #also Pennt shut up? #running away like Elsa wannabe in disbelief because your bestie didn't say a word about her transformation? #Please #in this game everyone feels the right to do everything that they want so why so upset about it? 😶 #hogwarts mystery #hphm #penny haywood #scarlett #I'm satisfied with how they handled the whole situation #Scarlett is alive? #good for her

[hanatiny]

sorry for Ranting On Main™️, I just need to get this out of my system, feel free to ignore

#would literally be sooo cool if my family could stop being patronizing/borderline condescending #treating me like a child is getting old very fucking quickly. my mom always jokes how glad I'll be once I [finally] move out and it's like. #''ok but what if it wasn't a joke'' (internally anyway) #telling me what to do & not do with MY money like I'm not a fully grown adult is so...... #like yes I've made financially questionable decisions before. but never before fighting myself for DAYS on whether or not I really want it #stop treating me like I'm 5 challenge (impossible) #and also acting like I'm lazy just bc you don't see me doing uni stuff like.. idk I work my ass off for those grades but go off I guess... #even then. I'm allowed to take breaks. I'm allowed to lie down and nap when I have headaches that refuse to go away. I have FEELINGS man... #being ridiculed for expressing said feelings & being sensitive is really Not It either like newsflash all this does is make me hate u <3 #I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg but #shit like this is a big part of why 1. I haven't come out to anyone irl & 2. I refuse to voice my 'neurodivergence theory' out loud #because I know I wouldn't get taken seriously!! I fucking KNOW it!! and it sucks!!! #tw toxic family #tw negativity #(trying to not fall into the mindset of ''but others have it so much worse''....) #I don't particularly expect/want pity from anyone btw. I'm just really frustrated and don't want to bottle it up anymore

[datastate]

i hate you wireless i hate you smart device assistants i hate you voice register i hate you streaming services i hate you [browser that actively sells normal people’s data and/or mines cryptocurrency] i hate you digital-only services i hate you pop-ups that request money or which won’t let you proceed unless you “download the app!” i hate that in a “modern world” that there are several people left behind solely because they cannot afford or manage “modern technology” and there is no (or a lengthy, almost similarly inaccessible) alternative

#gnashes my teeth #jestersvaguely #the more i think about this the more it's just. man... #esp the last bit like you have no fucking clue how many years i spent just lagging behind because i wasn't provided the same resources #that my peers were. solely because they were rich enough for smartphones & the teacher preferred that #way of delivering information. and in one case outright refused to switch over to e-mailing the information because they expected #my friends in the class would let me know. which is just. ohhh so many issues with it #and then even outside of that it's an inconvenience because you can't easily call your parents/guardians if an issue arises without needing #to 1) ask if you're allowed access and 2) if you're sick you're forced to stand up. walk past people as a Show of Shame and talk in an open #space about personal things without crying because someone at the desk is watching you and is irritated you're bothering their work #and then in general the whole thing where it's like ''make sure to take a picture of this'' [the class bell rings and i have to scramble to #write it down while people are packing up and covering the screen and the teacher is erasing it] #LIKE IT'S JUST. UGH. AND THIS ISN'T EVEN GETTING INTO LEGAL ISSUES THAT REQUIRE YOU TO HAVE TECHNOLOGY #my grandparents literally rely on their children - and entrust a LOT of their information to their children. which HAS been used against #them - to manage some of their legal & important shit because it's only through websites or texting & calling services and it's soo #it's so fucked up. i hate how it feels like a requirement these days i hate how much is being transferred to digital platforms #instead of something physical and real. you're just losing SO much and it's. ughh

[acaiyatree]

god i suddenly want to reread the metal virus arc

#kjashdlasjkhdlajkhdJSZKa #okay thank god i am getting out of my ''fixated on the sonic comics but can only read dc comics'' era #but like oh my GOD #I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVED THAT ARC #THE P0ERSON WHO RECCED ME TO READ THE IDW COMICS FIRST HOW DO U FEEL. ABOUT MY HEART BEING TORN TO SHREDS. #I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT WHEN I GOT INTO THE IDW COMICS BUT HOLY SHIT IT'S SO GOOD #SO FUCKING GOOD #yeah yeah shadow or whatever BUT LIKE. MMMMMMMM #ONE OF MY FAVE COMIC ARCS FR #also i can't believe people said that the metal virus arc lasted 4 too long guys... it's a comic book arc LMAO #but yeah man FUCK i love it #sth #sonic comics #sonic idw #idw sonic