#I already own most of the seasons so its not a big deal for me

[spongebob-connoisseur]

You guys do know you can borrow Spongebob dvds and comics at the library?

Go support your local library now‼‼‼

This is a threat!

#Our library was closed for years due to renovations #It just opened recently and they have SO MUCH STUFF #also the entirety of spongebob seasons #I already own most of the seasons so its not a big deal for me #This is just propaganda for you guys so you'll support your local library! It is an important resource for the community ya kno #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebob squarepants #spongebob #sb #spongebon squarepants #spongebob meme

[hatchet-boy]

Judging SPN Seasons By How Messy It Would Be If Sam And Dean Started Having Sex

Season 1: freshly reunited. no one else in their world but them. they are obsessed with each other. they would fuck like feral dogs and it would make them so much worse. also dad is there. unspeakably messy. 12/10

Season 2: dad just died. the grief sex would be more tears than come and at least one of them is probably saying johns name mid fuck. dean might have to kill baby brother (TM) and so the obvious reaction to this would be extremely possessive sex. sam would not like that attitude (with the one exception of if it happens when hes drunk in playthings). messy in even grosser but marginally less feral ways than szn one. 13/10

Season 3: milder. still obsessed with each other but more settled into it now. deans turn to maybe die and sams turn to be uber-doober possessive about it. unlike sam, dean would be extremely into that. and his deal is comin due so he might as well. sad and tragic,, but not that messy. probably still more tears than come. 6/10

Season 4: dean just came back from hell to find sam fucking his new demon girlfriend. the angels are there. they're still hunting but Stuff Is Going On and god knows they need to be grounded with each other to make it through. sex would probably help. would do the opposite than make things messier. would be vicious. definite chance dean might try to feed sam his blood. 4/10

Season 5: apocalypse fuck. oh fuck. ruby is dead. angels and death and demons and god and destiny. sam and dean are the most experienced and secure theyve ever been and yet. the whole damn world is about to explode. and yet they are still tortured and annoyed by the goofy everday hunting horrors. fucking would be nice for them, would remind them they belong to each other. they think theyre gonna die so the consequences wouldnt matter a whole lot. less insulated and worried about holy judgment so the incest thing may be a bother now. 2/10

Season 6: you fuck your brother but its not your brother he's different in ways you cant explain but you havent seen him in months and you thought you lost him and hes not quite right but fuck he looks like him and talks like him and knows everything about the two of you and he fucks like a greek god and hes mean as a motherfucker in bed but you can take it its fine its worth it its sam godammit-

15/10

Season 7: stranded up the creek without even a twig for a paddle. both brothers are destroyed and traumatised and forcing each other forward by force of necessity and a brotherly hand on the back of the neck. at least its just them alone together (dean please ignore the hallucination of lucifer sitting in the corner and judging our cock size-). sex would go terribly and be the most unsexy sex ever sexed. but they would probably like the closeness if sam could handle it. messy but wouldnt ruin them long term. there would be a terrible Dick joke. 8/10

Season 8: WHOA BOY WHAT A DOOZY. BOTH BROTHERS HAVE PARAMOURS ON THE SIDE WHOM THE OTHER FUCKIN HATES. DEAN IS PURGATORY FERAL AND HAS ONE EYE ON A VAMP. SAM IS SOFT HAS HIS PINKY FINGER TWINED AROUND SOME RANDOM GIRL. WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK FOR ME?? // YOU TOLD ME NOT TO!! // YOU TRUST A DAMN VAMPIRE OVER YOUR OWN BROTHER?? // YOU HIT A DOG... meanwhile sam is doing the trials losing his mind again and dean is losing his mind about that. letting you down was my biggest sin//there is nothing i would ever put in front of you. messy. 10/10.

Season 9: less than ideal with sam possessed by and angel. dean is rocking with the guilt and confliction. the mark of cain is also making him a bit feral again. theyre safe together in the bunker but thats already claustrophobic enough sex might just suffocate them both. pretty messy. 7/10

Season 10: your big brother is an angry angry man but its not his fault right??? its because of the mark right?? he cant control it and you love him and you want to stay in the safe house/bunker/tomb with him you dont want to leave anymore and you need him. youve both been through enough. you deserve this. there would be minimal messiness caused by sex with your brother rn. exception to those few weeks where he was a demon. 2/10

Season 11: gods sister is here and its the apocalypse again. dean hates what he has with Her. at least his sammy is here. at least theyre together. still crazy about each other. gay incest sex is the most reasonable reaction. god might find out- but then again, he and his sister are pretty wacked out together too, and are we not made in gods image?. 1/10

Season 12: Mom is here and so is lucifer and his kid and also the cunt ass brits. not ideal. minimal messiness so long as no one finds out. and fuck all them anyway its pretty clear sam and dean can only ever really trust each other. sex would be affirming and safe here. they are absolutely fucking in the kitchen to the smell of toast and coffee. dean discovers he has an std because no its not normal that your balls have iched like that for the past four years you need to go to a doctor and dean i swear on the impala if you gave it to me- . 3/10

Season 13 to 15: fellas is it gay to have sex with your brother who you've been functionally married to for over a decade? probably not right ha ha. if they havent already fucked by now theyre not going to. theyre just gonna be intensely platonically married until they die. they both have erectile dysfunction by this point . sex would mean everything to them but change nothing they would still be old and married in their bunker with the devils kid tomorrow regardless. they dont care what people think anymore. fuck all messiness. 1/10

Post Season 15 Finale/Heaven: we deserve a soft epilogue my love sammy. mildly concerned about being kicked out of heaven for incest but with everything else theyve done they still made it there. it would be the least of their sins. lovely soft and nothing hurts. can you make a sex tape in heaven? 0/10

#labelling this one under 'things i spent too much time on but love anyway' #constructive criticism is more than welcome here #spn #samdean #wincest #first times #edit to clarify: #this isnt rating how /good/ it would be if they got together in each szn. just how /messy/ it would be

[hopefulromances]

Long Time Coming I Chapter 17 I It's Been A Long Time Coming

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football prodigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Chapter Summary: The final chapter. Read the end note for more.

Word Count: 5.3K

Warning: The most canon divergent I get (roykeeley endgame forever), a little more self-indulgent than usual, some more heated content but nothing smutty, I'm just sad y'all

Prologue One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve 13 14 15 16

Change was in the air. A lot of things were changing. There was a lot of good change. Nate was back! He was just working with Will right now, but I could already tell he was different from how he left. He apologized to me for all the nasty things he had said and done. I was a little wary at first, but Jamie reminded me that I’d given him a second chance and Nate deserved one too.

Another good change was that Roy and Keeley had officially gotten back together. Much to the relief of everyone else in the club who couldn’t bear to see them apart. It was nice to have another couple around our age to go out with. We already had a double date set up for the week after the last game.

Then, of course, there was some not so good change. When Ted told Roy and I that he and Beard would be leaving at the end of the season, I almost passed out. My personal plans aside, I’d never done this without him, and I didn’t know if I wanted to.  But Ted assured both of us that the club was in good hands with the two of us.  Many tears were shed and that was before we told the team.

Roy and I went out alone that night. I told Jamie that we had some stuff to plan but really, the two of us just needed to be with each other.

            “What was Ted going on about?” Roy asked, taking a long sip of his beer. “About not letting his decision get in the way of any plans we might have?”

I shrugged, playing with my cocktail, trying to be inconspicuous. But, as usual, Roy could see right through me.

            “I haven’t figured out all the details,” I said, finally. “But… yeah… something’s planned, a bit.”

I expected him to be cross with me for leaving him to deal with the changes alone, but he wasn’t. He just lifted his glass towards me.

            “To big fucking changes,” he offered.

I smiled, feeling a warmth in my chest. “To big fucking changes.”

            “And you know,” he stopped me before I could take a sip. “We’re always here for you. Not just me, the whole fucking team would die for you.” It was very sweet. Roy being vulnerable with me for a second. “Don’t go getting all… fucking… emotional on me, (Y/N).”

            “You know what this means, Roy.”

            “We are not fucking, hugging.”

            “Oh, yes we are.”

I when I got home that night, Jamie was there waiting for me. We always ended up at each other’s houses somehow or another though we promised we wouldn’t move in together until after the end of the season. But there he was waiting for me anyways, washing dishes in the kitchen.

            “Hey, babe, how was grandad?” he asked, finishing up the plate he was washing.

I smiled at it, at the domestic nature of the act, at the thought of walking home to Jamie every day for the rest of my life. I walked up and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his back.

            “Was good,” I answered, rubbing my head on his skin.

            “Now who’s acting like a cat?” He rumbled, smirking as he looked back at you.

I hummed a giggle, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade before letting go again. I leaned against the island and waited for him to finished up. He threw the dish towel over his shoulder as he turned to look at me.

            “What?” Jamie questioned, smirking.

            “What?” I returned.

            “You got a funny look on your face,” he told me, reaching out to pinch my cheek. “Look all spacey.”

I batted his hand away, shaking my head. “No… it’s just,” I rubbed at my chin. “There’s a lot of change happening right now… isn’t there.” Jamie cocked his head at me, motioning for me to continue. “Well… Ted and Beard are leaving, Nate’s back, Roy and Keeley are back together – which is great – but… it’s just a lot.”

Jamie nodded. “Yeah… it is. Was there anything else… that was changing… that you might want to tell me?”

Jamie had come to know me very well. Too well for my comfort sometimes. He could tell there was something going on in my head, something I wasn’t telling him. But that was something I still didn’t want to share quite yet, wasn’t ready to share.

            “No, I’m just same old me,” I grinned, stepping forward to slot myself between his legs. His mouth dropped into that lazy smile that drove me mad. I took a shaky breath and nodded at him.  “And we… we’re not changing? Yeah?”

            “I don’t plan on changing a thing,” He quipped, wrapping his arms low around my hips. “That is… unless we’re changing the amount of clothes you’re wearing.” He tugged at my pants slightly, drawing a laugh from me. Safe to say, no matter what else changed, we would be okay.

The final day of training came and went. The boys put on their show for Ted and Beard, who loved it, of course. There was so much movement happening all around the locker room. I sat in the crook of Jamie’s leg that he kept propped up on the bench as we chatted with Cockburn and Dixon when Keeley walked in with her usual cheerful greeting.

I took a moment to look around the room. At the team, and the coaches, and the people, walking in and out. It felt so different. So different from the locker room I’d seen three years ago. It felt much more alive and warmer, inviting people to come join the family. I felt a pang of nostalgia for it already, and there I was, sitting in the moment.

It felt like the end of something. It was the end of the season sure, but it was more than that. With Ted leaving and the future so unsure, it was really the end of an era at Richmond. The Lasso era was ending. And I missed it already.

Jamie and Roy went out that night for a drink. Jamie was practically bouncing, excited that Roy had invited him out and was going to allow him to drink a single beer. So, I took the opportunity to go to Keeley’s to discuss my plans with her.

I arrived at Keeley’s doorstep that night. If anyone would be able to help me figure out the logistics of this, it’d be her. I hadn’t told anyone else about this idea, just Ted and the very vague conversation I’d had with Jamie.

            “(Y/N)!” Keeley squeal when she opened the door. “What are you doing here?”

            “Hi Keeley,” I greeted, smiling. “I had something I wanted to talk to you about.”

It didn’t take long, only about an hour of chatting for us to figure out how to go about the plan. Keeley had been so excited, jumping on board immediately, grabbing her notebook to jot down some notes and start sketching some logo ideas.

            “Do you think Rebecca will go for it?” I asked, nervously.

            “Go for it? She’ll love it!” Keeley enthused. She sipped on her wine. “Is this why you’ve been so weird at training and such. Cause it’s not just Ted and Beard leaving?”

            “Acting weird?” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Is that way Roy said?”

Keeley smirked. “Said you were plotting something.”

            “Yeah, his death for starters,” I laughed, grinning. Keeley let out a cackle that only she could make. Our laughter was interrupted by a knock on the door. I looked at the clock, it was late, later than a random passerby. “Did you order food?”

            “No, I thought you did,” Keeley shrugged, scooting her chair back.

At the door was Roy and Jamie, and from the looks of it, they’d been in some sort of scuffle.

            “My word, what’s happen to you two?” I cried as Keeley opened the door.

Jamie’s nose was bleeding, his head tilted back slightly as he pinched the bridge and Roy’s shirt had been nearly torn off. They had other bumps and bruises across their bodies, and I honestly couldn’t believe it.  We finally sat them down at Keeley’s table, Keeley and I sat next to each other facing Roy and Jamie.

            “All right, are you gonna tell us what happened?” Keeley asked, handing Roy an ice pack. I handed Jamie a fresh tissue, wiping his face with my thumb, even as he tried to duck away from me.

            “Better be a cool story, or else this is just sad,” I echoed, pulling back from Jamie finally.

Jamie looked over at Roy who shrugged, gesturing for Jamie to start.

            “We got in a fight,” Jamie started.

            “About the two of you,” Roy finished.

Keeley and I looked at each other a bit incredulous before replying in unison. “Why!?”

            “Well, we was just talking about the trip to Brazil coming up that the four of us are going on, and I was saying how great Keeley was at her job,” Roy explained, smiling at Keeley.

            “And I was saying how you’re fantastic at your job, too, (Y/N),” Jamie followed up quickly. “How you had improved the team so much this season, the lads really respect you.”

Roy shook his head and turned to look at Jamie. “And I was saying how, of course, I thought you were good at your job, but Keeley runs her own PR firm, she’s fucking next level.”

Jamie growled and turned to face Roy. “But (Y/N) is the first female coach in the whole premier league, and she’s the only Captain from the Imperial girls’ team to win three straight championships.”

Roy leaned forward to get in Jamie’s face. “But Keeley is who makes (Y/N) look good. Keeley makes all of us look good.:

Jamie matches him immediately. “But (Y/N) makes sure there is good stuff to make look good.”

            “Oh my GOD!” I shout out, slamming my hands on the table. Roy and Jamie flinch away from each other. “Did you really get in a fist fight to try and prove which one of us was better?” I pointed between Keeley and myself.

The boys shrugged, answering me without saying a word.

            “Are you joking?” Keeley reared. “Like are you seriously joking?”

She and I looked at each other. Without another word, we kicked the boys out and returned to our wine night.

I returned home later that night to find Jamie on the couch, munching on a chicken kebab, his nose stuffed with tissues. I shook my head as I came down to sit next to him.

            “You are ridiculous, you know that?” I chuckled, taking the kebab from him. He let out a grunt of protest but didn’t stop me from taking a bite.

            “Oi, I had to wrestle Roy for that one,” he settled me into his side, his arm wrapping around me.

            “Oh, I didn’t know it was WrestleMania tonight,” I gaped shaking my head. I brought a hand up and mussed his hair. “What were you thinking? Getting in a fight with Roy.”

            “I was defending your honor,” He defended, grabbing my hand to pull it away from his head. “Don’t see the harm in it, just guys being dudes.”

I almost choked on my kebab. “Guys being dudes? You really have lots it.”

He smiled and pulled me into him, turning the TV on. I leaned back against his shoulder, staring at the screen, chewing on the latter half of his kebab. Now was the time.

            “Jamie, I’m quitting coaching.”

            “What?” He flew up from his seat, knocking me to the side. “What’re you doing that for? Is it Nate? Did he say something? Or Roy? I’ll kill them both!”

“No! No, Jamie listen.” I grabbed his hands, coaxing him to sit back down. “It’s not anyone else… it’s me. It’s what I’ve been… planning.”

Jamie frowned, his eyes looking into mine for answers. “You’re not gonna coach me anymore?”

I felt my heart break just a little at his pitiful tone. I brought my hand up to his face, holding his neck in my grasp. 

            “No, Jamie… I’m not. I’m not going to coach anyone,” I started to explain. “See, what I realized, the part of coaching I’m good at is the playing bit. Understanding the players and how they think. It helped Ted a lot but… I’m not a coach. I’m a player.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “You want to play? You’re gonna join a women’s team?”

            “Yeah?” I worried my bottom lip as he processed. Why was I afraid? Was he going to disapprove, god was this like with Matt all over again? “Is that okay?”

            “Okay?” His eyes lit up so bright. “That’s amazing.”

He lifted me up, spinning me around in his arms. I held on tightly, afraid to fall, even though Jamie would never let me fall. He placed me down in front of him, gripping my waist.

            “How fucking amazing is it that we’ll be the two best players in our leagues,” He mused, grinning widely. “Who you going to play for? I ‘spose Arsenal’s the closest for the women’s or Reading but you can do better than Reading.”

            “You’re assuming I’ll get to pick!” I laughed.

He made a pursed his lips and shrugged. “Obviously, they’ll all be after you, won’t they.”

            “Well, uh, the thing is, actually,” I looked down, playing with the hem of his shirt to distract myself. “That’s what I was talking to Keely about. I’m gonna convince Rebecca to start a women’s team at Richmond.”

Again, Jamie processed. Then he lifted me up again, twirling me around, cackling like mad.

            “You’re brilliant, you are, you know that?” He kisses me then, passionately in a way I’d never felt before. My breath gets pushed out of me as my hands flail to hold on to him. He kisses me again, slowly, before pulling back. “I love you.”

I look at him, wide-eyed, panting. “I love you, too.”

He smiled at me smugly, knowing exactly the effect he was having on me. He reached down and lifted me up over his shoulder, carrying me off towards the bedroom.

            “Jamie!” I cried happily, banging on his back. “Put me down!”

            “Oh, I’ll put you down,” he sneered, plopping me down onto the mattress. He crawled over my body, anticipation growing with in me as I propped myself up onto my elbows. He took his time reaching me, his lips ghosting over my skin. Up my chest, my neck, until they hovered over my lips, just out of reach of mine. “My girl…”

He kissed my cheek, nose nudging mine like he liked to do. I tried to press up and kiss him, but he pulled back, what a tease.

            “Jamie,” I frowned, whining. I pulled on his shirt, trying to pull him closer to me.

            “Hold on, sweetheart,” he murmured, pushing me down so I was flat on the bed. “I just wanna look at ya.” His hand travelled down my body before coming back up to rest on my cheek, stroking my skin with his thumb. “You’re amazing.”

I felt so soft under his praise, under his touch as he admired me. But it wasn’t just my body he was admiring it, it was me. All of me. And when he finally kissed me, it felt like the sun was filling my body with its warmth.

The day of the final game came, West Ham, again.  This time under George Cartwick, the bastard. But I didn’t feel more normal anxiety about such an important game. Yeah, this game could solidify our ranking within the league, but I didn’t feel too worried. Win or lose, we’d shown the whole country exactly what we could do.

I carried the box from Zava in my grasp, using my legs to readjust my grip as I waved to Laughing Liam.

            “Hello, lads,” I greeted as I walked into the locker room. The room erupted in a choral of hellos and greetings.

            “What’ve you got there?” Colin asked, coming over to help me set the box down.

I dusted my hands off, starting to open it up. “It’s a care package from, Zava.”

The locker room groaned, and I smirked, sneaking a glance at Jamie who seemed quite pleased with the response.

            No,” Dani spoke up from behind me, quite firm. “Thank you, but no. I will not let him hurt me again.”

            “Ooh, it’s t-shirts!” Will smiled, reaching across me to get one.

            “Can I have two, please?” Dani decided.

I shook my head, moving away from the box to reach out for Jamie. He pulled me towards him, chuckling at the antics, wrapping his arms around me to pull my back against his chest, my hands crossing in front of my body as I held onto him.

            “Oh, oh!” Colin exclaimed. “There’s a card.” He reached in and grabbed a card out of it. “’My brothers.’” The boys laughed. “’Good luck against West Ham. Please enjoy the T-shirts and this avocado from my farm. Never forget, I am always inside you, Zava.’”

            “What, he sent us one avocado?” Jamie questioned, his lips right by my ear.

Bumbercatch lifted the avocado from box and held it up so we could all see it. It was giant. I felt Jamie freeze in surprise.

            “Holeh guacamoleh,” he shuttered out. “Show me that, bro.”

He let go of me to grab the avocado, staring at it in awe. I laughed, shaking my head.

The beginning of the game was a little rocky, probably due to the video that Beard had made, sending the whole team into a sobbing frenzy. The first half quarter was a stalemate, but Jamie was keeping them on their toes, controlling the field with his excellent strategic passes. Nevertheless, Westham managed to score, twice before the half.

The boys were buzzing during the half, talking and strategizing with one another. It was a stark difference from the team I started with. That team would be silent, brooding, angry about what was going wrong. But this team still had hope, they still had believe.

Ted emerged from his den to address the team.

            “Well, fellas, we got our work cut out for us in the second half. But you know, I’ll get to all that in a minute.” I went over to my spot next to Roy, crossing my arms as I looked over the group.

“No, uh, right now, all I wanna do is let you gentlemen know what an absolute honor it's been to be your coach. Getting to work with y'all these last three years has truly been one of the greatest experiences of my life. I've loved getting to know each and every single one of you. Learning all about the men you were and getting a front-row seat to see the men… and women you all have become “

He looked over at me and I nodded, swallowing a thick ball of sadness in my throat.

“A-And I wanna thank you for your patience with me. You know, when I showed up here, I didn't know one thing about soccer. But now... Well, now I know at least one thing about football.”

We let out a chuckle, though it was well watery I could tell. He continued.

“I'm just so gosh damn proud to be a part of this team. You know? And I love you guys. I'm gonna miss y'all." My heart swelled. I didn't want to say goodbye. I swiped at a tear that had escaped my eyes.

"Now, regarding this second half... Yeah, I don't know what's gonna happen. You know what I mean? No one does. Sports would be a lot less fun if we did. You know? And you all would probably make a lot less money, so... You know?  We don't wanna know the future. No, no, we wanna be here right now. And look, I-I know we're down a couple goals. But I'm telling you, man, if y'all play hard, play smart, play together and just, you know... Just do what y'all do, and we'll go out with the peace of mind knowing we did our best. That we tried. Yeah?”

            “Yes, coach.”

            “Hm. All right. Anybody else have something to say?”

            “Coach.” Sam spoke up.

            “Yeah, Sam, what you got?”

Sam stood up and grabbed something from his locker, pulling out a small piece of yellow paper. Then Jamie stood up, pulling out a book from his locker that had a similar yellow piece of paper sticking out of it. Soon the whole team was grabbing things from their lockers and pulling out their own yellow pieces.

I sighed and reached into my pocket and found my wallet. I had a polaroid of Jamie and I, sitting at Sam’s restaurant, and taped on the back was my own piece of yellow paper. I held it up and walked over to where the boys were placing their pieces.

Soon there was a clutter of pieces all mixed up. The boys stared at it a second, wondering what was wrong with it. Then they moved into action, putting it back together like a puzzle. I smiled at Roy who shook his head and chuckled.

Finally, the sign was back together. The torn up believe sign put back together by the team that made it a reality. I’d missed the sign. Missed it more than I knew.

            “And there it is,” Ted mused, smiling at it. “Number four. Yeah?”

The fourth rule of total football. Believe. Believing in this team and the people in it. Believing in change and love and friendship. Believing in the fact that victory was within our grasp. Believe was filling this room. Starting from when Ted first stepped foot in the locker, infecting the place with his positivity. Now the room, and the whole stadium was filled with it, so even when he was gone, we’d keep it going. Believe.

            “Alright, let’s bring it in.”

We walked in together, Jamie standing right behind me so he could keep one hand on my hip while the other went in for the huddle.

            “I know they folks like to say, ‘there’s no place like home,’” Ted looked around the circle, at our team. “That’s true. You know. But man, there ain’t a whole lot of places like AFC Richmond either.” I let out a shaky laugh, the team following in suit. He addressed Isaac. “Richmond on three. One, two, three…”

            “RICHMOND.”

The second half feels more electric than before. More shots on the goal, with only one getting in from Jamie. The stadium erupted in cheers as Jamie scored, giving the crowd a shred of hope for Richmond’s chances.

Jamie gets in again losing his mark and heading for a second goal when he’s tackled. It’s a weak tackle and Jamie certainly played it up but it got us our penalty.

            “That’s it,” I muttered, nodding at Ted.

It took a second, Jamie passing the ball over to Dani who then passed it to… Isaac.

            “Oh, what the fuck,” I grunted, rolling my eyes. I loved Isaac, I really did, but I was certain he’d never even made a penalty before.

Isaac went for the shot, and it flew into the stands, causing a groan to go across the field. It wasn’t the end of the world but equalizing certainly would have been helpful. But then the referee went back to look at the net before turning around and signaling a goal.

I laughed and let out a cheer, patting Roy’s shoulder.

            “Who fucking knew,” I gaped.

            “Apparently, Dani,” Roy answered.

This wasn’t the end; we still had another goal to get but victory was just in reach. The game came to a halt as the grounds crew came out to fix the goal. Jamie jogged over to me, an excited look on his face.

            “How mint was that, eh, babe?” He asked, excitedly.

I shook my head handing him a water bottle.  “You could have made that easily.”

            “Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” He grinned, downing the water.

As he did, I noticed Rupert on the field. Yes, Rupert Manion, as in the owner of West Ham, walking on the field like a villain from a Bond movie.

            “What the hell is he doing here?” Jamie snorted, watching the man.

            “Don’t know…” I murmured back. “But I’m going to find out, cover for me?”

Jamie nodded at me, turning back to the coaches, as I tried to wander over inconspicuously I made it seem like I was going to fill up my water bottle, trying to get within ear shot of whatever conversation they were having.

            “Tartt is out there doing whatever he fucking wants.” Rupert growled.

Oh. I see.

            “Yeah, but I’ve got two players on him already,” Cartwick responded. He looked terrified, and Rupert pressed further.

            “Take him out.” I stiffened, looking that way, as subtly as possible. No way he was implying what I thought he was.

            “Are you joking?” Cartwick retorted.

I looked back towards Jamie. If anyone got near him, I would kill them. I’d kill them with my bare hands.

            “Get rid of him.”

I was gripping the water bottle in my hand so tight I thought it would break. Water started overflowing, getting my arm wet but I couldn’t move. I thought that if I did I would go over and punch Rupert right across his stupid face.

            “I’m not playing the game like that,” George finally being a good person for once in his useless life.

            “You do what I say, or you are done,” Rupert threatened.

George started to reply when there was a thump that sounded, and I looked over finally. Rupert had pushed George to the ground, sending him flying and, unfortunately, revealing both of his testicles.

I flinched away, finally walking back over to our side. Jamie collected me, pulling me away from Rupert, even though we were already far enough.

            “What a fucking wanker,” he grumbled.

The crowd seemed to agree as Rupert started to walk off the field, shouting it at him over and over. Part of me felt bad for him- oh wait no it didn’t. He’d threatened Jamie Tartt. The love of my life, and I thought he deserved a lot worse than a bad name.

            “Everything alright?” Jamie seemed to notice my tense mood.

I looked back over at him, shaking my head. “Yeah, fine, just go out and smash it, yeah? Watch your left kick, you’re holding back.”

            “Heard,” he nodded, agreeing. “Anything else?”

            “Oh, yeah,” I imitated thinking. “I love you, and when you win, we’re gonna have banger sex tonight.”

He grinned wickedly at me. “Now that sounds like a plan?”

I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but we weren’t exactly public yet. Keeley said it would probably be a bad idea, might look bad for a coach to be dating their player. We weren’t a secret exactly either, but just private.

            “Go,” I pressed, pushing him away from me. He nodded, sending me a look that I could read. I love you, you’re amazing, thank you. I chewed my lip and nodded at him as well. I love you, too, go smash it.

The Hammers got control of the ball quickly and it seemed like they’d scored a pull-ahead goal but, as Ted pointed out, they had been offsides. That had been close, too close. We needed something. Jamie was trying to keep up his role as engineer, but he had been completely boxed in.

            “Okay. Come on. Talk to me, geese,” Ted brought is in.

We needed something they wouldn’t expect right now. Beard and Roy rattled off some plays, but I closed my eyes trying to picture the field, what I would be looking for. Jamie was who everyone was expecting to make a play, so we had to use him somehow, maybe as… as a fucking decoy.

 I opened my eyes and saw Ted looking at me. I could tell he’d just made the same connection I had.

            “Do you think it’ll work?” He asked me, cocking his head.

            “Definitely,” I stated, nodding firmly.

            “Alright, hold on,” he called over to Nate, getting him to come over to us before calling out to the boys. “Here hold this.” He mimed handing something to Nate, who took the invisible object. “IT’S AN OSCAR!” He shouted to the boys, giving Nate some instruction on how to hold it. “OR THE ESPY”

That seemed to resonate with the boys as they nodded finally, discussing amongst themselves.  They started off, Sam passing the ball to Dixon. Jamie sprinted into the box shouting wildly.

            “YEAH, YEAH! PASS ME THE BALL! ME, ME, ME! I WANT THE PALL! PASS ME THE BALL, PLEASE!”

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. He really was selling it and it seemed to be working. There must have been four guys marking him. But Sam was left open and Dixon took his chance, passing him the ball. Then it happened, Sam took the shot.

            “Barbecue sauce.”

The ball soared into the goal, and we’d done it. The game ended shortly after. We’d won. Everything moved in slow motion, the cheer of the crowd, the jumping and celebrations, the ground shaking with excitement.

But I was just looking of one person. Jamie. I needed Jamie. And we locked eyes. His grey eyes stormy with excitement. I felt myself moving towards him, rushing onto the field to get to get to him as quick as I could. I jumped and he caught my in his arms, spinning me around, my legs flying behind me.

I took his face and kissed him. Right there. In front of everyone. I didn’t care anymore, I wasn’t his coach, I wasn’t anyone’s coach. And right now, Jamie Tartt needed a kissing. He stood there on the pitch, practically eating each other’s faces off until I remembered where we were and pulled away. He followed me, letting out a whine.

            “Not now,” I muttered to him, giggling. “Now we celebrate with them. But later…” I walked my fingers down his chest.

He grabbed my hand, tsking his tongue. “Don’t do that, love. Or I might just have to take you away right now.”

I shivered, tempted to let him do so. But then I looked over and saw Colin kissing his boyfriend, I saw Isaac and Sam hugging, I saw Ted starting to gain a crowd, probably ramping up to do something cheesy.

            “Let’s go celebrate, babe,” I said, taking his hand in mine.

We ran over to the group to watch Ted do his victory dance. We celebrated. We were on top of the world. That’s how I like to remember that time. The whole team together. All of us. I could see into the future. I could see Ted leaving, and that would be sad.

But I could also see Keeley and I giving Rebecca the plans for the AFC Richmond Women’s team. I could see Jamie and I going to Brazil together and Keeley and Roy joining us after the shoot was done. I could see Jamie reconnecting with his father, showing him exactly the man he’d become without him. I could see Roy and Nate running the team together brilliantly. I could see us, months from now, having dinner at Higgin’s house. The whole team, kids running in the yard, chatting with Roy and Keeley, laughing with Colin and Michael.

I could see happiness. A happiness that I didn’t have three years ago that I had now. A happiness that had been…

A Long Time Coming.

Taglist: @heletsmelovehim @higherthanheroes @ajax-petropolus-wife @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @optimisticsandwichgladiator @kno-way-home @sleepy-time @wigglegiggle @skewedcherries @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @snubug @rana030 @ems-alexandra @jaymum @imfalling-inlove @littleesilvia @eugene-emt-roe

END NOTE: If you've made it this far, thank you. When Ted Lasso ended, I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I still had the characters and stories rattling around in my head. So I decided to write this, just to get it out of my head, as an OFC Fic on AO3 (That's being updated as well if you're interested in meeting my OC).

Coming to Tumblr was inspired by a number of writers. Specifically three people who I now am mutuals with and even would call my friends. @illiterateaffairs @its-time-to-write, @alwritey-aphrodite, and @sokkigarden. Each of them inspired my in their beautiful understanding of Jamie's character, their individual styles and personalities, all of them inspired me and encouraged me to continue my writing. They are truly such talents, and I respect them each individually very greatly.

Finally, I have to thank every single person who has liked, commented, reblogged, or even just scrolled through a chapter. every comment, I read, every reblog, I read. They all mean the world to me, and I know I say that a lot but I really mean it. I didn't expect this series to get any traction much less get me nearly 400 followers. You guys kept me going.

Thank you for reading. From me and Jamie <3

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso #ted lasso show #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt/reader #jamie tartt/y/n

[serene-sun]

Hey! Congrats on the promotion‼️ Also I has a request for you~~

I feel like there isn’t enough Chubby fem readers in this fandom. However you are one of my favorite authors. You see where this is going?

My request is: Could you write a Copia x Chubby Fem! Reader please? It would mean the world thank you so much!!!

Thank you lovely, and yes I got your request previously. Sorry for the long wait- I currently have the flu. I agree, there really aren’t, and copia loves you so much. This is mainly more of a comfort fic and fluff, because it shouldn’t be a big deal if your chubby since your beautiful either way! You know what I mean? But everyone needs comfort :)

𝕮𝖎𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆

Pairing: copia x fem chubby reader

Summary: you and copia grow close as you prepare for the spring ball, if only your insecurity didn’t stand in the way

Warnings: insecurity, stereotypes, small mentions of nudity and boobs, cumulus is fairy god motherrrr

A/n: every body is beautiful, there will be a part two that will be makeup sex,

REFERENCES: shoes | dress | copia |

“Yes papa,” you say, hands clasped together as you nod your head.

“Ah what would I do without you, bel sole.” Copia says as he places a hand on your shoulder.

You smile softly, a small blush appearing across your face as his eyes leave yours.

Papa copia wasn’t very touchy with anyone but the ghouls and his brothers. So it was times like these where he would give small moments of affection to his favorite siblings.

Today, you were helping papa with preparing for the spring ball. It was a staple of the abbey to greet the new season with a special party. Rituals and ceremonies would follow.

You had just finished brining groceries into the ghoul kitchen, they had their own wing as well as a den and kitchen and such on. Now that you were papas assistant, you took it upon yourself to take care of the ghouls as well as your leader.

“Ah! Did you get the macaroni I like?” A ghoul popped up from behind you, startling you out of your daydreams.

You straighten your habit, “uh…yes I think so.” You say as you regain focus.

“Hey, you alright? Look a little pink.” He says, a concern voice growing.

You look at them and smile, “oh I’m fine, just hot.” It wasn’t the truth nor a lie. The red apple of your cheeks was both from the layers of your uniform and the activity.

“Let me I unpack, go to your room and cool off.” They say as they take a few of the bags, “I know it must be hot in all of those layers.”

It’s not like you were dressed for winter, but you refrained from the tight and showing uniforms the other siblings wore. You stayed to the traditional full length and modest coverage, you were more focused on worship than lust as most others had, so you saw no need to sexualize yourself. It had its pros and cons, you mainly wore full coverage because of your insecurity a on your curves. It hurt to see them in the mirror, and you tried but couldn’t get rid of the soft hills and valleys of your body.

You always grew up with Barbie dolls and shows that showed ‘normal people’, so from the young age you grew up thinking that your beauty was negative. However you were happy for the other women bigger or the same size as you that proudly showed off their shapes. It’s not like you hated chubby people, it’s just that you didn’t feel comfortable in your own body.

You walked to your room and closed the door, quickly pulling off the warm fabric. Your dorm room was between the ghouls and papas, all 5 papal chambers on one hall, as well as a hall for each era of ghouls.

As you got fully undressed, you were about to unclasp the back of your bra, breasts already about to spill from the black laced fabric before the door opens half way, a sorry gasp from the door frame.

“Ah! I- I’m sorry miss!” Papa exclaims, lips parted and wide eyes as he freezes at the sight of your body.

You let out a cold breath as you shiver, “get out! Get out get out! Why doesn’t anybody knock??” You fill with guilt as he quickly closes the door.

You melt onto the bed as you hide under the covers, “oh god oh god he’s gonna fire me now.” You worry as you shutter.

After a few hours, it comes dinner time and you are forced to meet him again.

“Eh..I want to apologize for earlier, it is completely my fault for not knocking.” Copia apologizes from behind his oak desk, a blush on his face, you can’t tell if he’s embarrassed or shy from your figure

“No it’s…it’s ok…it’s my fault for not locking the door.” You say, trying to brush it off your shoulder.

“Well…how about we have dinner in here? I’ll make it up to you, where’s your favorite restaurant? I’ll pay.” He says as he smiles

You’re a little shocked but nod, “eh…you might not fancy my choice but really anything works.” You smile, not wanting to ruin the now happy mood.

After you both have dinner, he hands you a glass of wine, “here, have a glass, we should celebrate preparations done for the ball.” He said as he brushed his finger over your hand as you took it.

You tried not to blush, you anxiously pulled the hem of the white part of your habit over your chin, afraid of his eyes lingered any longer he would see the imperfections.

“Well, eh thank you.” You chuckle as you take a sip, “cheers to you for making such things happen!” You smile softly

“Oh no amore, you made it possible, possible for us all to find happiness…joy…laughter and..love.” He says, almost lost in your eyes before lighting up, “eh in the party! The party gives us that.”

You shake your head, getting rid of any foolish ideas, “w-well thank you.”

After the night, he took your hand and kissed it, leaving you to your room in shambles. You were happy at first until you began to broke down, you loved him, so very much but he would eventually want to see you and take things further to nudity. You cried into your pillow. you set your rosary, the one he gifted you when you just joined the clergy, on your desk by your studies as you tried to calm down.

After a few days, you met the older man again in this office. A few of the ghoulettes swarming him with fabrics.

“You called?” You ask curious as to what the clothing was for.

The girls hummed, “he looks better in blue, it brings out his eyes.” One said, “no! Red! He looks darker!” The other replied

“Eh…I wanted your opinion on what to be worn at the ball.” He said sheepishly

“Well…I like the blue…” you say as you walk up to him, low voice as you straighten the loose tie, “like the rushing river, calm, strong…and beautiful.” You say, hand glazing over his chest, copia was silent, his eyes locked on you as he cleared his throat, “blue it is.”

You stepped back, shocked you got that close, “excuse me, I- I need to set up tables.” You say as you leave the office in a rush, “oh…gosh..” you mumbled to yourself as you hold your red hot cheeks.

Another day goes by, another dinner with the older gentleman and a small therapy session with cumulus, you finally grow the strength to buy a dress.

It was a high neck dress with layered bell sleeves and long skirt. It was white, and little green flowers on the edges. When you got ready, you had white flowers placed In your hair. It was nerve racing because the skirt was thin and if you looked close enough you could see the lining of your thighs and undergarments. It was snug around the bodice and breasts.

When you first stepped out the room, you hoped you look good.

When you met in the ball room, you searched for copia, but you hung to yourself nervously.

A hand was placed on the small of your back, you froze for a moment, “p-papa, you look lovely.” You say as he appeared, slicked back hair, blue vest and white button up.

He takes your hand, “you look ravishing…say, do you want to take a walk outside?”

You nod, lost in the feeling of his touch.

He walks out outside the party and into the endless gardens, “so tell me…why do you always wear that uniform?” He asks as the moonlight covered you both.

“Oh well…I’m not exactly as confident as others.” You say softly as his fingers intertwine with yours, “perhaps you changed me…”

“I feel you change me as well, I feel…new warm butterflies when I talk to you..” he admits, sitting you down by the roses.

You cover your face as you smile, “well I….i feel the same, like…like a wave of adoration.”

Copia sets a hand on your thigh, “perhaps…it is love?”

You want to hide away as his lips are only inches away from yours, “uh…I…I”

Copia places a hand on your chin, lifting it up to him, “mi amore, I love you, do you love me as well?” His upper lip brushes against your chin.

“Papa I…I can’t sa-“ you want to confess, but the large bell at the top of the abbey rings and you realize it’s not a dream from your endless lonely nights, but rather real with consequences. You pull away as copia leans in to kiss you, you stand up and stumble a little as he looks at you in horror.

“I’m sorry, I took it too fast amore please..” he pleads as he takes your hands, “let me restart-“

You feel tears swell, “b-but I- I love you too…” you say in a scared voice as you shiver, running off deeper into the garden as your heel falls off, leaving the older man in despair.

Copia held the glass shoe, a soft tear falling from his lashes.

#serene sun nocontext #the band ghost #serene sun spice time #ghost band #the band ghost x reader #serene sun writes #nameless ghouls x reader #nameless ghouls #ghost band fic #copia ghost #cardinal copia art #ghost copia #papa copia #copia x reader smut #popia copia #copia x reader #cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia #copia my beloved #copia emeritus #copia fanart #copia x oc #copia #papa iv x reader #papa iv #papa emeritus smut #papa emeritus fanfiction #papa emeritus x reader #papa emeritus iv

[theminecraftbee]

okay i know solving counting sheep is an evo fic first and foremost but i'm super curious how the hermits end up dealing with three. it sounds like this is the kind of hermitcraft thats already a sanctuary for weirdos, but i feel like someone whos skin is feathers and wears a mask they can't see out of is a new level of strange. also, would pearl canonically still join the hermits after a few seasons in that universe? sorry to bombard you with questions when you already have a lot queued up LMAO

okay so this is like, a BIG QUESTION, and another one i've talked about with @strifetxt. we've noodled around a lot so off the top of my head, here's a few answers to "things we think three might do on hermitcraft"! (with the note: none of this is CANON. just because i'm saying it, word of god style, doesn't mean that's actually what HAPPENS, you can have your own story and headcanon for this in your head.)

three joins in season seven, not six, in my head. i'm not even going to try to pretend to guess what a season six without grian looks like just know that apparently happens.

three gets like, SUPER into the head games, because its a way to use its combat skills to HELP SOMEONE why wouldn't it get super into that? this is the first real introduction most of the hermits have to three. the hermits are like "okay mumbo where on earth did you find someone this good at murder". mumbo is like "who knows".

we were definitely joking that outside of hermits who know how to recognize a watcher (iskall, probably xisuma, i'd say also maybe like... doc or ren), the hermits just kind of assume three is autistic and roll with it from there because the idea the hermits, on being told three's actual circumstances, go "why would we guess that mumbo you said you met it hiding in a bar from overstimulation with you" is VERY FUNNY TO ME.

we were debating if election still happens; three is less likely to set up events on its own but IS likely to accidentally do something a little overboard.

our hack for if we wanted three to do the election is as follows: mumbo makes a joke with like, scar, about wanting to be mayor, three takes this completely literally, three and false end up in a cold war of "who is the scarier person NOT to vote for as mayor". meanwhile scar is vibing and a sith lord backing stress is very concerned.

grumbot does not happen. i don't think there's a world where three does grumbot.

three DOES befriend etho, at first to learn how to do interiors better, since etho is doing the all-interiors base, but later because etho's brand of tomfoolery actually works well with three. TWO weird dorks in masks now.

i think three would LOVE free glass. it and etho would make the world's Most pranks i think, all of which are technically what they were asked for. three helps work for shade-e-e's.

there's definitely more stuff we've talked about that i've missed and ALSO these aren't necessarily canon! you may have your own COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IDEA of what happens post-scs, which is fine! this was us waffling around about what would be fun to have happen, haha.

as for pearl... i like to think she does eventually still join hermitcraft, after a few years of texting back and forth with three and a bit more healing. she deserves it.

#answered #solving counting sheep talk #solving counting sheep spoilers

[wonderpommey]

Well Jesse said it, no one truly changes and indeed nothing really changed in the couples’ dynamics in the end.

The show dangled a possible happy ending for Connor and Willa for a second but of course it tears it away in the finale. We already see Willa squirming under Connor’s grip, grappling with the “sexy second week itch”. Roman is particularly repulsed by that pairing; buying a young escort-type woman and parading her as somehow worthy, as a ‘wife’. There’s something so offensive to him about that. We never see Roman give Gerri anything of monetary value. He’d never want to buy her, he’s desperately attracted to how real she is, to the experience and things she can teach him, in every possible way (sex & advice). He wants what she is willing to give, not what he can buy. The only time money comes into their relationship is the exit package (pass!) and even that is essentially just another lesson she’s teaching him. You wanna rule with emotion, the next person will take you for everything you’re worth!

Shiv's adoption of Tom remains partly strategic. It moves from "not being betrayed" to "holding onto power", it has very little to do with love. Shiv continues to push sadistically to see how much she can get away with, how close patriarchy will let her get to being her own woman. Then, when Tom or Logan tells her she’s gone too far, she folds. And Tom loves her enough or loves being in the fold enough that it works in the succession universe, it becomes a deal of somewhat terrifying equals. And that was what succession was all about. Capitalism, patriarchy and the oppression of women. What men demand things like love and care from women, but they actually lose any genuine connection the second they take a woman's agency away from her… Sure you get her by your side physically for a while but you crucially loose her very desire to be there.

Roman and Gerri’s relationship remains a study in longing and sensuality. They are barely featured in the finale but Roman sets the tone by going down on mummy’s cheese. Oh succession and its cheesy genitals, the ricotta dick! The grilled cheese with a sucked dick! The whole kitchen scene is obviously an allegory about the lack of food and incidentally love Caroline has supplied to her children. It’s only scraps, rot and fire going into that smoothie. But Oedipus-Roman, doesn’t want the smoothie, he wants the tasty morsel of maternal love which isn't for him. He doesn’t bite by the way, he only licks. Unlike his last second on screen, he can’t go as far as actual consumption. Did he want Lobster? No, he wanted the most love. Did he want steak? No! He wanted to be picked above Kendall!!

Speaking of what’s not for him... He then has to watch Gerri talk about the pleasures of a slow screw. It’s a sudden exposure to her sexuality, a validation of his intuition that she likes being superior to her conquests, sexually, spiritually. Something he knows he can give her alongside the painful realisation that she opens up - to others - in that way.

Then the office breakdown. I still look good, I still look the part “Why isn’t it me?” What are the rockstar and the molewoman when the rockstar is just a big sack of bullshit? And Ken reaffirming he’s not good enough, he’s pure emotion, he doesn’t have the drive, he only ever wanted a ride or die.

All culminating in his only true, almost naturalistic documentary-style consumption of the season; Gerri’s martini. Drinking in the quasi love of his life (I could do a whole post about how wild it is that Jesse ‘I don’t want to tell you what to think’ Armstrong said something so totalitarian). This isn't the first connection between an older woman’s sexual appetite and her drink of choice this season! Remember Roman’s reaction to the image of Nan liking her wine like she likes her men!

Sure, the outer layer of that scene shows Roman, having lost the company, his lover/mentor's good will, and any way he knows of interacting with his siblings in a bar drinking alone, overly dressed, old Hollywood style. A potential regression to his sad playboy lifestyle (Jesse), or the start of a hopeless spiral of alcohol abuse (Mark - who has since then said he saw how Roman’s ending could be perceived as hopeful). 

Upon closer inspection, his inferiority/beta complex, his emotions, his desire to be loved, his desire NOT to be in charge/on top - everything that his dad loathed to see in him - are finally showing through the physical scars on his face. He gave it a valiant try, but he couldn’t keep parading as whomever Logan wanted him to be and he realises that it makes him an unworthy heir and in the same breath, access to Gerri is disallowed. It still overwhelms him with emotion, but in the same way Oedipus took his own eyes and couldnt see Jocasta and longer, Roman only gets to see Gerri through screen and glass anymore. He demanded she believed he was as good and as ruthless as his dad and he turned out not to be. Objectively, it’s not a prerequisite to Gerri’s feelings for him as she responds to his pathos way more than she does to Logan's death, but his psyche is convinced he no longer deserves to be in her presence.

So he does the only thing he can do to keep her as close as he needs. Don't be fooled by the luxurious, civilised quality of the drink, this is a biological need,  pure sustenance (Get her inside of him, under his skin, into his bloodstream and pumping to his heart). He bites his lip as the liquid enters his mouth, swallowing dramatically, loving the burn & hating the pain. 

And we’ve come full circle on the theme of consuming each other. From the partnership-worthy mutual cannibalistic proposal of season 2, to the toxic if slightly castrating injunction for her to go down on him and devour him. Season 4 breaks him enough that he gets to the opposite nihilistic ideation that he’s nothing and hence has no claim on the company or being her protégé. The truth - that we don’t know if he can get to - is somewhat in between. All these kids are very smart and worthy in their own ways, even though of course the expectation placed on them to be exceptional prevents them being satisfied in being maybe just that.

His final scene showcases the sad and lonely consumption of the woman he loves’ essence, a poor ersatz for the ‘old gal’s juices’ that he doesn’t deserve. All he has to offer being something he has never been able to name or express without the alibi of the company; an amorphous, unworthy, unnamable but ultimately undeniable feeling.

And possibly in the writers’ minds, this is the suicide part of their contemporary Romeo & Juliet drama. Dying with the blade and the poison after daddy said the love was unacceptable & unobtainable? I mean come ON! 

Roman “knifed” Gerri (This is rhetoric they use ON THE SHOW), she completed the execution by taking herself out and brought him the threat of annihilation (while ordering the poison; a martini). There is a delicious poisonous quality to the drink isn’t there (or its abuse)? And of course, if he dies he’ll die by her, he’ll taste the poison she chose off her lips, because if he has lost the love of his life in this eternal quasi status, it becomes the only worthy pursuit.

That was the roman-esque question of the show. What is love if it’s always been withheld, if it’s always been expressed via the proxy of the company, if it’s never been given freely, or modelled or held as something precious and worthy that had to be protected? And what if it makes you ravenous for it? And how could you get it, this thing you most desperately want, if you’d never been given the tools?

O true apothecary, Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die. 

#roman roy #succession hbo #gerri kellman #romangerri #shiv roy #tom wambsgans #connor roy #willa ferreyra #sorry this isn't a hopeful post #obviously Gerri finds him and tells him she loves him the way he is #he finds a way to make himself feel worthy again #I'm just pulling the thread laid by those evil writers

[magical-oppas]

Now that the season is over, here are my predictions as to what will make it into Drive to Survive.

!Disclaimer! DTS was my entry into this sport. I think the show is great in its own way and an excellent way to reach new fans, this is mostly just for fun. (If you can't make fun of the things you love I'm the wrong person to have on your dash)

Here is my list in no particular order

HAAS: They love a HAAS focused episode, partly because it brings Steiner into the picture. I personally never got why people like him but if it works it works I guess. Expect many "Suck my balls" jokes. Otherwise we are scheduled for our regular viewing of HAAS being absolutely washed on track with Guenther calling Gene every five minutes.

Qatar: Things they WONT cover about Qatar; the drivers collapsing and passing out from heat exhaustion, the tracklimits and tyre fiasco. Things they WILL cover about Qatar; the mercs crashing into eachother on lap 1 (with THAT clip of Lewis playing like 50 times), Oscar winning the sprint. I imagine them spinning it in a way that makes the sprint a huge deal (cue clip of Will Buxton talking about how essential the sprint is for F1 as a sport and almost more important than the grand prix itself). This brings me to my next point

Civil wars: We have the real civil wars and the fake ones. I imagine them using the Qatar gp to make up a war between Oscar and Lando, framing it as Oscar as a rookie getting a win before Lando. Not sure who they are gonna make the villain here, probably Lando. They could also fabricate one at Ferrari given how this car suits Carlos more than Charles, will probably blow Monza out of proportion. Merc civil war might get a whole episode(be honest, we all know that one is a competitive car away from blowing up). The french civil war is the one I'm looking forward to the most because BOY do those two like to play it dirty. I'm frothing at the mouth already to see the backhanded compliments, the jabs, the shady comments they have probably been giving in the dts interviews. Speaking of Alpine

Alpine vs Mclaren(Oscar): This is a must because they made that whole thing last season. Episode will start out with a really smug Alpine team but we will get to witness the horrible car crash of a season they are having with the amazing dts editing. Can't wait to see the Silverstone part where they show the double DNF side by side with the Mclarens celebrating a p2 p4.

Singapore: The only non Redbull winner so I will be surprised if they don't feature it. They also love a dramatic crash and Lance's one in Singapore qualy is probably the most intense one we had this season. Will probably also use the onboard footage from Lando to show the tyre skirting by him to really amp it up.

Red bull: Will it be about their amazing achievements as a team this year? No. Will it be about Max and his fantastic race craft and the way he hasn't put a single foot wrong? No. It will be about Checo and his struggles. Will also have interviews of Christian defending him that become fewer and fewer the longer into the season we go. The win streak and the domination will be mentioned only in contrast to Checo. I also have a theory that red bull might drop checo and if they do I promise you the reveal in the show will go exactly like this:

Christian: We have given him time and patience, but at some point we need to start looking elsewhere, Mclaren have an amazing pairing, Mercedes have an amazing pairing even Ferrari have really started to get into their groove. He really left us no choice.

*Dramatic music, cut to black*

"Hi I'm Daniel Ricciardo and I'm a driver for Red Bull racing. Fuck, that felt so good to say *big Daniel smile.*"

Las Vegas: Will be shown as the most epic race this season with all drivers hyping it up (Might be able to include Max in that one with enough editing). What they WONT cover: all of the thursday/free practice shenanigans. What they WILL cover: The fact that the race was a banger.

Alpha Tauri: They have the perfect angle for this set up already. Nyck was talking himself up big time last season so they are just gonna overlay that with Nyck having a mare on track. They're gonna make whole "I'm back bitches" thing with Daniel. Then they're gonna make his accident real tragic (they could also make it into a Thing that it was Oscar that Daniel tried to avoid when putting it in the wall). Not really sure what they're gonna make out of Liams short stint.

Ferrari vs Mercedes fight for p2 is gonna be HELLA dramatic. They are going to drag out that race and insert radio messages where they don't belong. I also think they are gonna make it look like Carlos was closer to Lewis in the race than what he actually was.

As I said, these are just my speculations. based on the way the show has been and are mostly just for fun.

#f1 #formula 1 #drive to survive #dts #red bull racing #ferrari #mclaren #mercedes #aston martin #williams #haas #alfa romeo #alpha tauri #alpine #add your own predictions #lets make fun of it together #mint talks

[softlyspector]

Can you talk about the differences b/w Game!Joel and Show!Joel in your own opinion?? Like the big things? I've never played the games, only watched the show, and I am super curious 🥺

Hi! Sure, I can try to articulate some of the differences between show and game canon. These are just things I noticed and noted, and anyone is welcome to jump in and add on or disagree/agree with me. (Also would like to add, I'm only really talking about part 1 of the game, since that's the only counterpart to the show so far and I haven't properly played part 2 so my judgment there isn't totally fair.)

For me, the most notable difference between game and show Joel is the approach to the emotional side of the character. Joel in the show, although guarded, is pretty open with his emotions (**comparatively speaking, I guess). He opens up to Tommy pretty quickly about his feelings of failure and about his care for Ellie. He opens up verbally and explicitly with Ellie eventually. We Do Not get this in the game. Joel in the game is very quick to shut down anything even approaching a conversation like the one he has with Tommy in the show. He shuts his brother down, pretty aggressively, and outright refuses to take a photograph Tommy tries to give him of him and Sarah together.

In the game we really don't get these overtly (maybe that's the wrong word but I can't find another way to describe it) emotional moments with Joel. You get it in much smaller doses and in much subtler ways. Joel is incredibly internal in the game. You get these tiny little glimpses into him that are just fascinating (he helps Marlene up when she collapses, he tells Ellie thank you for opening the first gate for him in Bill's Town, very early into the game when he shouldn't really care about her, indulges her questions pretty quickly, expresses understanding and remorse about what happened to Frank [in the game Frank is already dead] to Bill, and in a gentle kind of way, which he very much did not have to do).

The show also, and this might be kind of a controversial take, takes some of Joel's teeth away from him. They approached the show from a more "realistic" standpoint that eliminated a lot of the gameplay elements (understandable) that made Joel just a beast to deal with in the game. I think they played up the old man angle just a tad too much in the show. Don't get me wrong, he's still incredibly scary in the show, sure. But, they emphasized his age a lot. He's not nearly as physical, he's older. His hearing is a huge issue, but in the game Joel's hearing is literally what saves your life, gets you around a lot of the time.

I know we all love the unhinged knife scene in the show, but it really doesn't hold a candle to the type of terror he inspires in the game during the winter. I'm still not really over the brutality of the winter section of the game, for both Joel and Ellie. Like, it really showed so well why Tommy was afraid of Joel and what he can do/is willing to do. It's an important setup for the inevitable end of the season/part 1, and the very particular way Joel cares about people and what he'll do for/because of them.

He's so much harsher, but it really makes those moments where his softer side comes out shine all the more. When Ellie finally gives him the picture of him and Sarah comes to mind. He still doesn't say much but its incredibly clear how much his acceptance of the picture means to both of them without spelling it out.

Joel in the game is also. . .kinda funny? We don't really see this humorous + sarcastic side to him in the show that we get in the game. In the show, the grumpiness + sarcasm is more played up.

This doesn't have to do with game vs show really, but I wanted to mention it anyway, because that's probably what sparked this ask. I was looking for specifically game!Joel fics because I personally enjoy his game characterization more and find it much more interesting, but also, I think by virtue of Joel being played by Pedro Pascal in the show, there are a lot of tropes commonly associated with show!Joel in the fandom that are just not my cup of tea, and you just don't see game fics written in the same way. That's really neither here nor there, that's a me problem y'know, but I wanted to mention it anyway.

Please, please, please know that I very much love both versions of this character. I think they fit their respective mediums really well, show vs game. And, like I said, I do find game Joel more interesting, personally, and I think there's probably an underlying motive to Joel's characterization in the show that we'll see the fruits of later, which I can't really specify without spoiling the show or tlou part 2.

#bec talks #joel miller #tlou #posts that might get me tarred and feathered

[softcthulhuwu]

Rambling thoughts after the first two episodes:

Now this might just be because I'm autistic and always chafe against rigid boxes and definitions, but it seems to me that our first spooky tales from the OIAR don't really fit neatly into Smirke's categories that we're all so used to from the Archives.

Granted one of them is fairly classic cut and dry Eye shit, but the other two seem to purposely skirt the boundaries between things like the Flesh and the Stranger etc.

Now of course in the Archives we have a fair few episodes that get funky with the boundaries especially later on like in the apocalypse, the chief example that comes to mind being the big ocean Jon had to row across seeming to be a fun mix of the horror the incomprehensibly huge of the Vast, and the crushing all consuming pressure you'd associate more with the Buried

But my point being that in season one in particular, aside from a few teething issues as a result of still figuring things out *badum tish*, most statements¹ fit fairly nicely into clear cut examples of the major fears. Makes sense, first season, gotta lay down the rules before you can get funky with them.

But here in Protocol we've got the benefits of it being a sequel series with a lot of the heavy lifting world-building-wise already done, most of the audience going in has preestablished expectations, so by starting with the old lines between the fears blurrier, this is an opportunity to hint that A) hey, maybe things are working not quite the same here, which IIRC was something they talked about on one of the livestreams after things were announced last year don't quote me on that I do not have a citation to hand (forgive me Hbomberguy for I have sinned),

And B) sure Smirke's system was one way of trying to understand the fears, but as we well learned last show, it's limited and imperfect, it's more of a spectrum than discreet categories. Smirke's was just one way of trying to break it down into more understandable chunks, but it's not the be-all end-all of it, and clearly far from the only way to do it. The OIAR has a whole massive handbook of its own categories to catalogue these things in a manageable way, one which is seemingly less concerned with philosophical ideas about "What kind of fear did you experience? That of prey hunted by predator, that of violent war-like carnage, livestock chopped up for parts?", and more of a nitty-gritty details oriented one, like a "okay but what actually happened to you, like, specifically? Was it 'reanimation - partial', or more an 'amalgamative', subsection 'semi' kinda deal? Yes this is important why do you ask" type system.

I dunno I just think it's cool and interesting, these are my late night thoughts I can't help it I'm in essay mode literally working on an essay about The Magnus Archives for uni. Getting a good grade in my autism interest it turns out is a thing that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

¹ not including Hilltop Road in this, Hilltop Road gonna Hilltop Road, that's a surprise tool to scare you later.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers

[f1writingbyme]

The Nights Are Long (But It's Easier Together)

IT'S FINALLY HERE!

My God, this took me forever

My first ever longer work of fiction. It took me months to finish it, but I'm so extremely PROUD of what I created and I hope you will enjoy it!

I want to give a very special shoutout to Mona (@lestappenforever) who has been my ROCK and an absolute ANGEL whilst I was writing. Mona, thank you for listening to my rambling, reading every single thing I sent to you, for your thoughts and input and not to forget, the betaing! I love you so, so, so much, words can't describe how much I appreciate you! ❤️

You can read it here.

Summary: The fire in his apartment is only the beginning of a long list of misfortunes that await Max. Fortunately, he has Charles by his side to help him through it. That is until Charles is the one that gets targeted.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE CATS DO NOT EXIST IN THIS FIC. I REPEAT: THE CATS DO NOT EXIST! Please don't hate me.

Enjoy the first bit here.

The party is in full swing. Leave it to Lando to plan a well attended party during summer break where normally everybody would disappear to another country to not see any of the other drivers, having seen plenty enough of them during the race season. Charles knows, because normally he would have fucked off to some country where he could lie on the beach and drink cocktails for most of the day, spending time with his brothers and mother, and maybe some other family too, before having to turn back to full concentration again. 

But for some reason, most of the drivers were here and Charles realizes he is actually truly enjoying himself. He’s on the couch next to Pierre, listening to some kind of story George is slurring at them, having had just two too many drinks by now. Charles knows he should have stopped him when he gets up to get another refill, leaving both Pierre and him on a cliffhanger, but he isn’t particularly bothered with George’s alcohol intake. He’s a grown man who knows what he’s doing - or at least most of the time. He can deal with his own hangover tomorrow. That is not Charles’ job. 

He takes the break from George’s rambling as an opportunity to glance across the room. Every driver he gets along with on the grid is present, along with some friends of Lando he already knows, but the majority of the crowd is unknown to him. The only thing he knows is that some of the female friends present are more interested in all the drivers surrounding them than in their actual friends. If you could even call them friends. 

Charles’ attention is drawn to the corner on his right. Max, Daniel, Martin Garrix — Martijn, Charles corrects himself mentally — are stood in a some resemblance of a triangle so that they can all face each other, listening to Martijn telling a story. Charles sees that Daniel is fully invested, eyes wide, a large smile on his face as he nods along. Max, on the other hand, is also listening, but every few minutes or so, he’s distracted by his phone, frowning at the screen, before rejecting the call. He then presses some things on his screen and to Charles it seems like he’s blocking the number. Unfortunately, he has had to do that himself one too many times. 

Max’s attention is back to Martijn, taking a big sip of his gin and tonic. A bit of the drink runs down his chin. and Max uses the back of his hand to wipe it away. Charles’ eyes are glued to it, the movement of the big hand wiping away the little drop of the alcoholic drink before it makes its way down his neck. His strong, muscled neck. Charles wishes the drop had made its way down, just so he could–

“Tu regardes,” Pierre’s voice breathes in his ear. (“You’re staring.”)

It startles Charles, spilling half of his own drink over his hand and on his trousers. He feels the blush creep up his face, painting his cheeks a dark shade of red. He rips his eyes away from Max and his group, because they have all turned to face the two men on the couch after hearing Charles’ rather loud gasping and spluttering. The spluttering ends in a coughing fit, and tears gather in Charles’ eyes as he desperately gasps for air.

“He’s fine,” he hears Pierre say as he pats his back. 

Through his watery eyes he sees that Pierre is talking to Max, who looks at Charles in concern, but smiles after Pierre’s words and turns back to Martijn, who restarts his story again, not paying attention to a slowly suffocating Charles Leclerc. 

“Calamar, tu dois vraiment te contenir,” Pierre says once Charles has caught up with his breathing. (“Calamar, you really need to contain yourself.”)

“Je n'ai rien fait,” Charles wheezes. (“I didn’t do anything.”)

“Oui, continuez à vous le dire,” Pierre snorts and then, when Charles frowns at him, he adds, “Vous étiez pratiquement en train de baver en le regardant.” (“Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You were practically drooling whilst staring at him.”)

“Je n'étais pas.” (“I was not.”)

“Tu l'étais.” (“You so were.”)

“Tais-toi,” Charles mumbles, finishing whatever is left of his drink. (“Shut up.���)

Pierre sighs deeply. He turns to face his friend, bringing his head closer to Charles’ to have a little bit more privacy in a crowded room full of strangers. "Tu n'as pas à prendre de décision maintenant, mais s'il te plaît, Charles, soit tu lui parles, soit tu l'oublies. Arrête de te faire du mal à cause de lui. S'il te plaît." (“You don’t have to make a decision right now, but please, Charles, either talk to him or forget about him. Stop beating yourself up about him. Please.”)

Charles wants to reply to that, he really wants to, but he simply can’t. It’s not as easy as Pierre makes it sound. He can’t just forget about Max, but he also can’t just go and talk to him about the stupid little crush he has on the Dutchman, either. Or, as Pierre likes to say, ‘just tell him you are head-over-heels in love with him’. Charles neither confirms nor denies that he used a bit too much force behind his punch on his best friend’s arm after he said that.  

Just as Charles is ready to vocalize the answer he has formed in his head, he’s interrupted by Max’s ringtone yet again that evening. How many calls has he already received, Charles thinks, and he realizes this must have been the sixth time within the last hour he has heard the phone ringing. He expects Max to yet again decline the call and block whoever is calling him, but he sees him frown at his screen before excusing himself to Daniel and Martijn. Charles watches him as he makes his way to the somewhat quieter kitchen area, answering the call. He sees that Max is trying to speak to the person on the other side, but every time he tries to get a word out, he stops again, probably being interrupted by the person on the other end of the phone, gesturing wildly with the hand that isn’t holding the phone, pacing back and forth in the kitchen area.

Curiosity getting the best of him, Charles excuses himself to Pierre under the pretense of getting a refill as he makes his way over to the kitchen where Max is. He knows that Pierre thinks he is finally going to declare his undying love for the Dutchman, judging by the smirk on his face. Charles rolls his eyes. Of course he’ not going to tell Max how he feels. If he ever decides to tell him how he feels, he will definitely pick a much quieter location to do said thing, away from the prying eyes of female strangers and crowded rooms. 

Charles sets his glass down on the counter and opens the fridge, listening in on Max’s heated conversation. That’s what he expects it to be; heated. He expects to hear him angry, but what he definitely doesn’t expect is to hear Max trying to speak French – a very heavily accented French. 

“Je ne, uh, parle — shit — pas français…”

Charles raises an eyebrow, head still buried in the fridge, obviously taking way too long to make it believable that he’s only there to get a refill. 

“Mrs. Corvetto, I don’t speak French… Je ne parle pas français!”

Charles can’t take it any longer. Max starts to get frustrated, he can hear it in the tone of his voice. He closes the fridge and turns to the Dutchman. He raises his hand to wave at Max, grabbing his attention. Pointing to the phone, he asks, “Need any help?”

Max lets out a sigh, lowering the phone from his ear to hand it over to Charles. “Thank fuck. It’s my neighbor. Normally she speaks English, but she’s freaking out and I don’t know why. She never calls me, only when there’s an emergency.”

“Mrs. Corvetto, you said?” Charles asks as he takes the phone, already hearing the frantic voice of Max’s neighbor coming through the device and he hasn’t even put it anywhere close to his ear. When Max nods, he brings the phone up, making sure not to bring it too close to his ear, before he kind of shouts, “Madame Corvetto?”

He doesn’t get a direct reply from the woman, but what he does hear makes his blood run cold. He freezes on the spot, arm with the phone lifted in the air, hovering somewhere near his head. Charles just stares at Max as Mrs. Corvetto continues to shout over the phone in rapid French. 

“Oh, God, what is it?” Max groans. “It’s Mr. Corvetto, right? I knew it. I’m telling you, never move into an apartment next to elderly people. It’s just– Why does she call me? What the hell can I do? Doesn’t she need to call an ambulance or something? Or, I don’t know, her family, or–”

“Max.” Charles interrupts Max’s ranting. He ends the phone call, cutting off Mrs. Corvetto’s panicked yelling with a simple press of his thumb. He stares at the blue-eyed man in front of him. “Your apartment is on fire.”

#lestappen #lestappen fic #charles leclerc/max verstappen #max verstappen/charles leclerc #my writing #The Nights Are Long (But It's Easier Together) #i am so proud of myself

[dragon-cookies]

Gonna finish off this series with episode 8 and then go binge watch Bluey while I paint my walls today

Alastor distorting video feeds like a cryptid that can't be captured on camera is one of the most interesting things about him tbh

I still really, realllly feel like an all-out war with Heaven should be like, a giant show finale and not the end to the first season. Where do we go from here?? We already know God doesn't exist in this universe, so what other lore is even left to be explored?

Once again Charlie giving some big heartfelt speech really doesn't feel earned when we've barely spent any time with these characters

Hate to keep beating a dead horse here but Alastor when did you start caring about the hotel and its residents

He's a good dad to Nifty though, 10/10

"You have always been a worthy opponent" Pentious we didn't see you fight Cherri Bomb once in the show

Oh fuck off this More Than Anything reprise is really good

THEY FINALLY KISSED FUCKING HELL

And ofc they had to immediately follow it up with Adam lmao. Not even Alex Brightman can save this character

"That's how they can kill us? With our OWN weapons?" HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS. WHY WAS THIS TREATED LIKE SOME BIG MYSTERY.

It's so fucking wild to me that we're seeing angels get slaughtered by the dozens and yet we're expected to believe no other demons have ever fought back against them until now??

FUCK HIM UP ALASTOR- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY VOX???

Al's voice in this part??? Hello????????

Charlie why are you apologizing to the angels who are literally trying to slaughter your friends and family

jfc why did those two kiss, how does this show have zero idea how to write romance

oh he's fucking dead lmao

DAMN RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING BIG DRAGON BOYS, I'm GAME though Charlie why didn't you do this at the start on the battle

SHIT NO DON'T HURT THE DREG BOYS

FUCK HIM UP CHARLIE.

Vaggie should've taken Lute's eye tbh

Oh yeah you'd think Lucifer would've been here sooner considering the angels are attacking his kingdom but here we are

Honestly I think Charlie should've been the one to defeat Adam. He was fucking awful to her from the start.

NIFTY GOT HIM LMAOOOOOO

Lute why do you care about Adam?? He was awful to you too???

Also what happened to Alastor?? Is he good??

Also kind of wild we're dedicating an entire song to Pentious but his actual death was played off like a joke

Ohh fuck we're gonna demonize Lilith for being a less-than-perfect parent but completely ignore Lucifer doing the same thing aren't we. This happened in Helluva Boss and I can see it happening again

I love how literally no one gives a shit that Alastor's gone lmao

Oh wait there he is

Ooh so he definitely made a deal with someone, very interesting

HE'S AN ANGEL OH MY GOD

Also Lilith??? Is in Heaven???? What??????

Honestly nothing I can say hasn't already been said about this show and finale. Kinda stupid Al literally got hit once and then just fucking dipped until the end, like good job man way to show you cared. BUT ITS OVER AND I'M FREE. I'm gonna go paint my walls and sew some stuff

#hazbin hotel critical #dc talks #dc watches hazbin hotel

[booksandpaperss]

Aight another long post but it’s important that everyone on this tag gets this:

People who say byler isn’t a ground breaking queer ship if its gonna be canon just… don’t get it.

“There’s other shows with queer rep not just ST!” yes thank you I am well aware that Mike and Will aren’t the only two gay people in existence. Sure there’s other queer media, but like, most of the good ones are shows that were explicitly confirmed to be abt the queer experience, and I love those, but it’s just different when a show with a plot unrelated to being gay *has* multiple main characters as queer. Like that’s so much better bc it reminds ppl that queer ppl are actually real people and we exist outside of TV shows abt being queer, ya feel me?

-“Just bc stranger things is a bigger show doesn’t make a queer ship on it more groundbreaking”- umm yes it fucking does?? I really don’t think some of you understand: thousands of ppl who are either homophobic or just ignorant and aren’t used to seeing gay ppl on screen are going to SEE with their own eyes two teen boys in the 80s being in love on one of their favorite shows. Tons of queer kids who don’t have access to queer media or simply don’t KNOW that they’re queer are going to get to see two teen boys being in love. Putting that on a show like stranger things puts that representation across a much larger and diverse audience, *that* is what’s groundbreaking.

-“Stop acting like byler is any more of a big deal than Robin and Vickie! There’s already a queer ship onscreen another one isn’t any more groundbreaking.”- Yes. Yes it is. And do you know why? Because Mike and Will are both *crucial main characters*. There’s another longpostTM on my blog where I talk abt this in more detail, but the fact that Will’s romance is with mike, a relationship with another mc that’s been built up since season 1 and is critical to the plot, instead of some side character dude inserted in a later season just for Will to have a love interest, makes a difference! It’s not a side pairing that’s there just for the sake of being lgbtq, it’s a genuine well developed romance between two childhood best friends. How often do queer people get romances like that onscreen? Much less in a major hit TV show??

And before anyone thinks I’m just “not taking wlw ships seriously”: I am literally a lesbian and I nearly cried when I saw Robin and Vickie getting to be gay onscreen. I could go on and on abt how annoying it is that wlw ships are ignored in favor of mlm ships (cough cough steddie) but that’s not why *byler* is a bigger deal, why do you think byler is getting more backlash by cishets than literally any other queer ship that I’ve seen in media?

If you still think I’m being “over dramatic” after reading this, I literally don’t care. There’s bigger lgbtq issues to worry about than online discourse, and I think I’ve made myself quite clear already. I rest my case.

#byler #if I see one more post abt how byler isn’t that groundbreaking and we’re being over dramatic I’m gonna lose it #byler endgame #mike and will #byler better be canon #elli talks byler

[fish-bowl-2]

what are 3 of your favorite quotes/lines from each of the eds?

This has been sitting in my inbox for a hot while. At first because I was busy and going to answer it later, and then because I forgot about it (so sorry).

Anyway, this is hard! There are so many good lines in the show, and that is just from the main three cast. I'm going to highlight some lines that I have been replaying in my head most frequently.

Ed: - "Awww. Kitty cat go meow?" - I think about this SO much. It is so funny. Not only is it a good example of the wordplay in Ed's dialogue, but I love how self-aware it is too. Love seeing him rightfully cocky. He's not wrong that Edd spends most of his time, as my dad would say, "bitchin' and moanin'". - " Hey! Slow down, partner!" - Idk I think it is a very cute reaction to Edd attempting physical violence. It is a very older sibling response lmao - "Shhhh! My yeast is rising." - Lots to like here. Classic line, comes out of nowhere, makes absolutely no sense with or without context. Can't get better than this.

Edd: - "Eddy PLEASSSE. I'm counting the sugar!" - It is so silly. The delivery and Edd's expression kills me. I'm a big fan of the kind of raspy whisper Sam Vincent applied to season 1 Edd. It is very cute imho - "IS THAT THE SUPPORT BEAM TO THE HOUSE?!?!?" - Classic. I also like it when Edd is hysterically screaming. - "...but...how could it be? My computations were precise, rigorous, and painstaking, um. This goes beyond science, Eddy. An unfathomable force sends us a clear message!" - I also like Edd's tendency to go on long-winded speeches. It doesn't have its full effect without visuals, since the character acting adds so much. Edd is such a horrendous liar (same).

Eddy: - "Did you see the sparkle in Johnny's eye? Stop me boys, I'm getting frilly!" - Yeah yeah this is low-hanging fruit, whatever. Does not take away from my reaction upon seeing that episode for the first time. I practically died. - "OH, IS THAT SO? AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT? MISTER I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT KEVIN KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT MY MAGAZINES?" - It is hard to take dialogue from Eddy and NOT think "wow much to unpack". What is his deal here? I mean, I have my own ideas, but I'm not going to make this list longer than it already is. - "Running out of ideas, Double Dee. Think of something that would make me look good." - He sounds so downtrodden : ( reading the dialogue alone doesn't give that impression, but, in the actual scene, Tony makes the delivery sound super genuine, which is a rare expression for Eddy. I appreciate that decision a lot.

#thanks for this ask! so sorry for the wait! college sux! #eene #asks

[swearyshera]

I want to say I really respect how you're handling Glimmer's arc, her interactions with Bow in particular. Them dealing with the emotional fallout of this in a harsh and awkward but earnest way is really gratifying. I feels like pulling teeth in the best way possible. Glimmer's arc still rings amazingly to me and somehow hasn't diminished since the apology bit.

Is it weird that I "respect" Glimmer's redemption more than Catra's? I guess I always thought Glimmer's heart was in the right place despite like... everything she had going on. I never once felt Glimmer couldn't be redeemed and frankly my opinion on if Catra really "deserved" redemption still flips every time I think about it. If i thought I had a way to annihilate the people who took my family away, I don't know if I'd hesitate to top-rope elbow drop the Big Red Button even as much as Glimmer did. I guess that was Catra's rationale too on a deeper level, but at least Glimmer wasn't fine with the world dying once confronted with that reality, as sad a step up as that is. I feel like the fact I don't feel much sorrier for Catra reflects very poorly on me.

The series had a bad habit of Catra's choices having their more catastrophic potential consequences avoided so her redemption could go down smoother, my most prominent example being the corrupt shera virus. I'd pay damn good money to see how the story could even begin to salvage Adora and Catra's relationship if Adora killed someone like Glimmer or Bow under the effects of that. (not to mention the portal only kills one, albeit very important, person, Adora just happening to survive falling a pit, the story conspicuously forgetting about Angella etc) This sort of thing makes me think the author is cheating or working backwards from the ending they already want. Other characters were involved in some of those choices but that only expands the problem imo.

Glimmer's doesn't kill the universe either, but there's still disastrous consequences for Etheria and people she cares about, pretty much all of s5, and her story is all about understanding what she brought on them, and becoming a more responsible person to her friends/people. I really liked that. The only person Catra is really held accountable to is Adora, and maybe Perfuma on Scorpia's behalf. There's Entrapta but I dont think she operates in terms of blame/forgiveness, at least in canon. I know she literally forgave Catra explicitly, I guess I'm too mean to believe people could let go of stuff that "easily' and write it off like it doesnt count.

I know Catra's arc wanted a more intimate scale and they didn't have time to litigate all this, but my deep gut reaction is "tough shit, you shouldn't have had Catra do all that if you weren't gonna make her face what she'd done", especially since Adora makes a point that Catra is afraid to face people she hurt, then Mermista, Micah and Scorpia are conveniently chipped until the last minutes of the damn show. HP really did Catra a solid there. Glimmer's arc felt more willing to make her culpable in dire shit and not pull punches about it, even less so here, so sincere gratitude from me there. Not that Adora and Catra weren't put through hell but their s5 relationship seems to happen in its own little bubble safe from outside responsibility apart from Adora's martyrdom pathology.

Anyway, very excited to see how the Catra reunion will be handled given everything so far, and for Glimmer and Bow stuff. You've never done wrong by us yet. Sorry for this fucking thesis. Please feel free to point all the ways I'm being a myopic dumbass.

I always see Catra and Glimmer as two sides of the same coin - the same person but treated very differently by those around them. Glimmer had love and forgiveness from the people she grew up with, particularly her mother, whereas Catra had none of that outside of Adora.

But I think the end of season 4, start of season 5, we see a little bit of a flipside of that, and that's what starts making both of them wiser, more mature, etc. Up until then, Glimmer had never really had to deal with consequences for her actions - her mother, outside of grounding her, didn't appear to really punish her when she did things wrong. Even Bow, at least until Fractures, felt he always had to support and agree with her (and his own arc played into that). But when Glimmer decided to plough ahead with her plan to activate the Heart and ignore her friends, she actually had serious consequences for once. She had to deal with losing friendships, attracting Prime. And that wasn't something she'd really had to deal with.

Catra, by contrast, always had negative consequences to even the slightest of actions. Usually by Shadow Weaver, and then by Hordak, she was punished for her mistakes. But in season 5, she gets shown kindness and forgiveness despite her actions, and it too, becomes a turning point for her.

I also don't really see the story as 'redemption'. It's not about Catra or Glimmer redeeming themselves, it's about accepting you've done wrong and making the choice to be better. Yes, they do have apologies to make, wrongs to right, and we don't see a lot of that in the show. But we don't need to. What we see is Glimmer becoming more levelheaded and choosing to use that in place of recklessness. We see Catra choosing to return to Adora in Heart not for herself, but for Etheria. Both these young women have done things that have had a huge negative impact on other people, but they both end up trying to do better, to be better.

Redemption is based on how other people treat you. This is a story about how you treat yourself. Both are important.

[bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls]

The Daily Dad — Feb 28, 2024

Things you might want to know:

Denis Villeneuve Says TV Corrupted Movies, Defends 'Dune 2' Runtime 💭 Thank you, Denis, for casually explaining why your work leaves me cold. Take the naked Ana De Armas out of Blade Runner 2049 and I would have fallen asleep, and his contempt for dialogue is what makes his Dune an unwatchable exercise in tedium. (Speaking of Dune, David Lynch is a master of crafting unsettling images that haunt the viewer, but his dialogue lingers in my mind decades after hearing it. Cinema without words is missing the point.)

Apple Music Debuts Heavy Rotation, A New Daily Made For You Playlist ❝ This morning I woke up to a pleasant surprise. Apple had quietly added a new Made For You playlist to the Music app called Heavy Rotation that’s updated daily. As you’d expect from a playlist called Heavy Rotation, mine is comprised of 25 songs, most of which I believe I listened to yesterday and probably

Humorously morose comedian Richard Lewis, who recently starred on 'Curb Your Enthusiasm,' dies at 76 💭 I can’t say I was a fan… his stand-up never interested me, and most of his acting left me cold, but I do have two fond memories. First, his role in Robin Hood: Men In Tights, and his supporting role in the Sherilyn Fenn/Jonathan Penner/Lynn Redgrave sitcom, Rude Awakening. RIP, Richard.

Why your next Switch controller should be one you already own ❝ 8BitDo’s USB Adapter 2 makes a strong case for using what you’ve got, whether it’s a PlayStation or Xbox gamepad

The Intercept, Raw Story, and AlterNet sue OpenAI and Microsoft ❝ OpenAI allegedly removed information like author and ownership from training data taken from The Intercept, Raw Story, and AlterNet.

Sports Illustrated Published Articles by Fake, AI-Generated Writers 💭 This would be sadder if the pre-GPT internet hadn’t already gutted and eaten journalism.

Jam Master Jay: two men convicted of murder in 2002 death of Run-DMC star ❝ An anonymous Brooklyn federal jury delivered the verdict on Tuesday in the trial of Karl Jordan Jr and Ronald Washington

After a decade of stops and starts, Apple kills its electric car project ❝ Report claims Apple leadership worried profit margins simply wouldn't be there.

The sexy subversions of A Court of Thorns and Roses 💭 Seems to me this was an obvious direction for romance novels after Game of Thrones.

Tumblr and Wordpress to Sell Users’ Data to Train AI Tools ❝ Internal documents obtained by 404 Media show that Tumblr staff compiled users' data as part of a deal with Midjourney and OpenAI.

If a “helen” is an amount of beauty, then “1 millihelen is t... ❝ If a “helen” is an amount of beauty, then “1 millihelen is the amount of beauty needed to launch a single ship

R.I.P. Chris Gauthier, Once Upon A Time actor 💭 I watched the first four or five seasons of OUAT —and all of OUAT In Wonderland, which I considered the superior show— but I can’t say Smee made a big impression on me. Sad, though.

A single year on Pluto is longer than the whole history of the US ❝ Time is relative.

Mascuzynity: How a nicotine pouch explains the new ethos of young conservative men 💭 Guys, we don’t need 1,000 words on a nicotine patch to explain this shit. It’s arrested development, pure and simple.

Hollywood Fights AI With Script Writing Team Gauntlet ❝ Hollywood writers are fighting AI with a new script analysis team called Gauntlet

Alan Ritchson might have been Thor if he acted better in his audition 💭 A Ritchson Odinson would have been significantly less funny, but might have had his own sort of gravitas.

Stardew Valley’s anticipated 1.6 update coming in March ❝ A new festival, late-game content, and lots of dialogue

Netflix confirms it’s cutting off Apple billing for legacy subscribers 💭 I don’t give two shits about Netflix’s bottom line, but I wish Apple would ease up on the transaction cut they take, just so people like Netflix will keep their payment processing within the ecosystem. It is dramatically easier to cancel/renew subscriptions that are processed by Apple, and I cringe every time I have to jump out to a browser to manage something.

Yahoo Lays Off the Leaders of Engadget 💭 Wow… Vice and Engadget, both shot in the head the same week. It’s getting ugly out there.

Dev who created Zip file support in Windows is part of the shadowy cabal of people who have actually paid for WinRAR ❝ There should be a globally-recognised medal for anyone who's bought WinRAR.

Kenny Rogers Explained How He Got Caught up in a Phone Sex Scandal 💭 I somehow missed this story back when it was new in the ‘90s… Kenny Rogers had a private phone sex line for girls he wanted to fuck but didn’t have time to actually woo. Wow.

There’s a New Theory About Where Dark Matter Is Hiding ❝ An idea derived from string theory suggests that dark matter is hidden in an as-yet-unseen extra dimension. Scientists are racing to test the theory to see if it holds up.

Game of Thrones movie trilogy was blocked by HBO, say showrunners 💭 Someday there will be a blistering tell-all that addresses all sides of those disastrous last couple seasons of what had been —up ‘til then— one of the best shows on TV. I really need to appreciate shows like Breaking Bad more, for how well they stuck the landing within the nightmare world of corporate television.

David Lynch’s presence has been haunting video games for decades ❝ The influence of Twin Peaks creator David Lynch can be seen in a huge range of games, including Alan Wake 2, The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening, and Control.

Beef Season 2 Could Feature Double the Feuds With Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway - Report - IGN 💭 I’m willing to give this a chance to find its footing as an anthology series, but I can’t say I’m dying to see a totally different show with the same name… True Detective and American Horror Story have already taught me to expect diminishing returns.

Google’s hidden AI diversity prompts lead to outcry over historically inaccurate images ❝ Inserting depictions of diversity into AI images creates revisionist history, critics say.

#news

[cboffshore]

The French Toast Threat: a brief, carboloaded Jay character study

I couldn't stop myself. I'm rambling.

A lot of things about Skybound have haunted me since its original airing, but this line... this line is something else:

The central question I posed on my Twitter - does this line imply the existence of France in Ninjago? - doesn't matter right now. I dislike thinking about that and I'm amazed it got as much traction as it did, but there's a content drought for you. I am, however, fascinated by the word choice!

Usually - as in literally every other time I've heard "toast" used in a threat - it's just that: toast. You're toast, I'm toast, he's/she's/they're/it's/we're toast - conjugation 101. Toast is an easy process. Bread in, push lever, bread out, butter or jelly if you've got the time, hork it down on your way to class. A violent threat - "You've been through the painful process of baking, now go through it again for my benefit," it says - but it's such a routine thing! When was the last time you stopped and really thought about making toast beyond just going through the motions?

That's what the classical Toast Threat is: effective, but soulless. Little about the target is acknowledged; any paint inflicted leads to a brutal, efficient end. Doom is assured, but not much else.

Now, French toast? That's a whole process. You have to plan for that. You have to know what kind of bread will hold up best, what spices and flavors you want in the egg dip, what kind of pan and heat you've got - to say nothing of the act of making it. You can't zone out with French toast the same way as you can with regular toast - you have to be on your toes, but there's care there, too. You can't treat French toast with the same everyday roughness as regular toast or you'll get eggs all over the counter. No, French toast requires attention to detail. You have to watch it to be sure it doesn't burn, to ensure that your bread isn't too thick or thin, and that the eggs are actually properly beaten and cooked. My family's made French toast the same way for my entire life and it's always been a special thing, and I know when the last time I enjoyed it was. It's fussy, but it's worth the reward.

When Jay says that Nadakhan's about to become French toast, he's really saying:

I've been planning this. I'm going to cut him up so carefully with his own sword, dredge him in the nearest unpleasant substance, fry him with my most effective equipment, and let my friends help annihilate him with little effort on their part. I'm going to ensure that he is as fundamentally changed as I am when we're through - that he's unrecognizable in the same way I am now - and I will savor that process.

All that makes it an especially effective threat, but the final nail in the coffin is how Jay opens the threat. For easy reference, the pertinent chunk of the quote:

Note that Jay doesn't directly address Nadakhan here. In context, he's speaking to Nya. Jay's already spent most of his season in direct confrontation with Nadakhan, and it's kind of touching that he's developed to the point of being this flippant about it even after this much pain! (You could also bring in Nadakhan's extremely valid point about Jay acting that way to conceal fear, which also works. Talk about versatility!)

Not only does Jay not even grant Nadakhan a pronoun in passing reference, he jumps straight to "This guy." For a season so set on identity, it's a big deal to skim over that fear-inducing name and replace it with the most off-the-cuff, casual way to refer to someone. Not even someone! Just a guy! The highly specific, detailed implications of turning him into French toast blended with all the banality of regular toast-making... what poetry.

The aftermath of Jay's experience isn't explored much in canon, and we'd all do well to remember that the modern image of a PTSD-ridden Jay is a product of a widespread fan view of the character. In canon, especially the last few episodes, all we get from Jay is a dogged determination to fight and win. This line probably wasn't meant to have this much significance, but it's there, so it's open to interpretation. What I failed to mention on Twitter is that it ultimately doesn't matter why it's here - whether they thought it would just be a fun twist or if Nadakhan was originally supposed to be French-themed or if it was an inside joke meant to canonize France. What matters is that it is here and I'm able to dig into it, and in the process, learn a little something else about Jay!

#ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago skybound #analysis freak lila back on her bullshit