#I just hope that all my loved ones stay in Allahs protection

[sisterssafespace]

Assalamu alaykum

[I don’t know if you post or reply anymore but I’m just gonna do it]

Lately I haven’t been on deen. I haven’t been praying properly or reading my Quran like it should be read. So I started feeling paranoid. Allah put this fear in me and I felt like someone was watching me all the time. I spoke to my mum about this last night and she told me she felt the same almost 20 years ago and that she also wasn’t praying or reading the Quran. So before I went to bed last night, I read surah al fatihah, ayat ul kursi, and the last three surahs three times. I made a dua asking for forgiveness and mercy for me and my family.

Subhanallah something amazing happened. I felt like a saw a fraction of Allah’s power and greatness. It suddenly brought me to tears. I realised I was less than nothing compared to Allah and I hated that it took me 15 years to realise that.

My problem is that I have tried to be a good Muslim before and I have. For two days. Then I went back to my old ways. Last night felt like what I saw was genuine and real rather than what I’ve been doing the past few years. So how can I keep myself from tempting myself to do things that are against the deen? I genuinely want to change and become a better Muslim. But how can I do that with all of the distractions in this world? Any tips or advice?

و عليكم السلام و رحمة اللّٰه و بركاته 🍃

First of all, please accept my apology for the delay, I was traveling and didn't have a stable network..

Secondly, let us appreciate this ask and your story for a moment, Allahuma barik, I love these inspiring stories that can always prove to anyone in need that Allah swt is always there, only one prayer away, one duaa away, no matter how far or astray we think of ourselves to be, Allah swt is always near! You see, when you felt that there is something wrong or scary around you, you knew exactly what to do, you immediately turned to Allah swt because that's our fitrah, that's how we are built and programmed, He swt designed us that way, Alhamdullillah. And immediately He swt answered and provided for you safety, security, protection, and calmness. Allah swt doesn't need much from us, He is always waiting for us to call upon Him, so please do not forget that, even if one happens to sometimes forget that strong bond we have with Allah swt, it never disappears or stops existing.

Now here is the thing, one of the devil's favorite things to do is to try and distract the believers the moment they find their way back to Allah swt -He said, “For leaving me to stray I will lie in ambush for them on Your Straight Path. [7:16] - Shaytan has promised Allah swt that he will try and make sure to distract the believers when they're walking on Allah's straight path, when they are finding their way back or making their steps toward Allah swt. It has been also known that the stronger your faith or your desire to walk toward Allah swt, the harder Shaytan will try and distract you. And that will not make the believer weak or ' a bad Muslim ' , that's just how things are, that's the system, that's the test. All we have to do is try to stay firm and try to fight off the distractions, try to keep our eyes on the goal, that is getting closer to Allah swt and pleasing Him swt.

And remember, we are human beings, we are supposed to slip, we are supposed to make mistakes, we are supposed to sin, but the challenge is not to dispair, not to lose hope in Allah's mercy and to keep going back and keep asking for forgiveness every single time. Remember that Allah swt said that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said "By the One in Whose Hand my soul is! If you do not commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah will certainly forgive them."

And He ﷺ also said “All of the children of Adam are sinners, and the best sinners are those who repent.”

So do not let the human tendency we have toward sinning discourage you or make you lose hope, and do not let Shaytan get into your head and let you believe that you are a bad Muslim or that you don't deserve Allah swt's mercy and forgiveness.

I know the world is very distracting and very destructive, especially if you live in the western world, may Allah swt help our brothers and sisters living in non-Muslim countries and strengthen their faith, and keep their hearts firm on the deen ya rab! But you are going to go with babysteps because the most beloved deeds to Allah swt are the smallest but the most permanent, the ones we don't quit them.. I say build a routine where you prioritize your daily five prayers, and if you can insert a few sunnah prayers like the sunnah of Fajr or Dhuha prayer that would be amazing! Make sure you stick to morning and evening adhkar because they are your way to remember Allah swt abundantly in your day, and through them He swt will protect you from all evil, all distractions, and help you stay focused. To remind yourself to do you can use apps, there are great Islam related apps that you can have on your phone either for deen in general or for duaas and adhkar, some apps offer to set a reminder on your phone and alarm you at the right time to read your adhkar, to pray, to read your daily Quran, etc..

Also, whatever it is that is causing you distraction ( for e.g. social media, series, movies, music) you can limit your consumption of that, you can uninstall certain apps or lock them, only use them a limited time in your day, I have recently replied to an ask about that you can also check in and In shaa Allah it will be beneficial for you.

The most important thing is that you don't despair, you don't guilt-trap yourself and you keep your hope in Allah swt's mercy because He swt said " قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Say, `O My servants who have committed excesses against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allâh. Surely, Allâh forgives all sins. Verily, He is the Great Protector, the Ever Merciful.'

Allahu al mustaān 🤍

- A. Z. 🍃

#sisterssafespace

[lovelettersforjazmin]

HELLO BB!!! 👀

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO YOU STUNNER!! 🥳🥰😍💞❤️ I hope you're having the best day 😘<333

Here, i just wanted to take this opportunity to say how much you mean to me...i realllllllllllly appreciate you so much and thank you for coming into my life love!! ❤️ I'm really happy for whatever's in store for you....and you're getting married soon gurl can u believe it!!! 😱 i can't imagine u walking down the aisle with the pretty bouquet of flowers wearing your brightest smile...you're gonna be the PRETTIEST bride ever 😫🫶

Jazmin my love...

Of all the years i've known you, i've never been moreeeee grateful for you. You bring in light, joy and contentment into my life, and also towards the people around you

You have shown me how to love, how to care, how to support one another and more...i have learnt a lot from you jazmin and i'm really happy i get to grow together with you, i wouldn't trade this friendship for anything and an so lucky to have a bestie like you ☹️🫶

You have been with me, on my side, during one of my darkest times last year...throughout the time i felt seen, heard and cared for by you and the rest of our girls..your every encouraging words, every emotional support, every tears every helping hand every listening ear...you made a huge huge impact on me and i'll never forget all of that..

Thank you for always believing in me, for accepting me as I am, for understanding me, for checking up on me, for staying genuine and true, and for everything else too...you truly deserve alllll the happiness in this world and after my love

I doakan you bahagia dunia akhirat, disayangi dan dikelilingi dengan orang-orang baik yang only wants the best for you, dikabulkan segala doa dan dipermudahkan semua urusan...may Allah ease all your affairs and keep you and your loved ones under His protection always love aaminn...🤲

We will always be supporting you and we will always be rooting for you in whatever you do kay? 🥰 Looking forward to making more memories with you ❤️

I love you jazmin, and happiest birthday again, you're truly the QUEEN of the day, hehehehe 🤪🥰🫶

Puteri Fatin Nur Aisyah

[almaratussaliha]

Allah Wants You to Give Your Heart To Him

Why am I here? Where am I going? What is my purpose in life?

At certain stages in your life, these questions may have occupied your thoughts. Allah (subḥānahū wa taʿālā) says, “I did not create jinn and men except so that they worship Me” (51:56). Thus, if there is one word that would capture the purpose of our life, it is ʿibādah.

ʿIbādah, often translated as ‘worship’, is a comprehensive term for every action and utterance that Allah (subḥānahū wa taʿālā) loves and is pleased with.

ʿIbādah consists of:

Actions of the limbs, or physical acts of worship.

Actions of the heart, or inner acts of worship. These include: firm belief (īmān), knowledge of Allah (maʿrifah), sincerity (ikhlāṣ), piety and mindfulness (taqwā), trust in Allah (tawakkul), hope (rajā’), fear (khawf), gratitude (shukr), patience (ṣabr), love (ḥubb), yearning for Allah (shawq) and certainty (yaqīn).

The Inner Reality

Every act of worship in Islam consists of both an outer manifestation (‘action of the limb’) and an inner reality (‘action of the heart’), which is its essence and core.

The outer manifestation of ṣalāh consists of rukūʿ and sujūd, whilst its essence is khushūʿ.

The outer manifestation of fasting is to stay away from anything that invalidates the fast, whilst its essence is taqwā.

The outer manifestation of ḥajj consists of ṭawāf, standing in ʿArafah and the pelting, whilst its essence is to honour the symbols of Allah (subḥānahū wa taʿālā).

The outer manifestation of duʿā’ is to raise the hands and utter words, whilst its essence is humility and an utmost need for Allah (subḥānahū wa taʿālā).

The outer manifestation of dhikr is to utter Subḥānallāh, Alḥamdulillāh, Allāhu Akbar etc. whilst its essence is loving, fearing and having hope in Allah (subḥānahū wa taʿālā); and contemplation upon His creation and blessings.

The Centrality of The Heart

Whilst we often focus on the outer and physical acts of worship, we often neglect the inner dimensions and spiritual elements of these same acts. In other words, we do not pay enough attention to our hearts.

Imām al-Ghazālī (raḥimahullāh) explains the inner reality of worship and the centrality of the heart: “The honour and excellence of the human being, by which he surpasses all other creatures, is his ability for knowing Allah (subḥānahū wa taʿālā). Knowing Allah is the human’s beauty, perfection and glory in this world; and his provision for the hereafter.

He is prepared for such knowledge only through his heart, and not through any other organ. For it is the heart that knows Allah, works for Allah, strives towards Allah, and draws near to Him.

In contrast, all the other organs are mere subordinates and instruments that are employed by the heart … For it is the heart that is accepted by Allah when it is free from everything except Him. And it is veiled from Him when it becomes immersed in other than Him … Thus, knowledge of the heart and the reality of its qualities is the root of religion and the foundation of the path of the seekers.”

The Best of The Best

A person’s superiority to another is determined by the actions of his heart. Allah said, “The noblest amongst you in Allah´s sight is the one with the most taqwā” (49:13).

Taqwā is to protect yourself from Allah’s wrath and punishment by avoiding His prohibitions and implementing His commands. Taqwā is not restricted to the physical acts. Allah (ʿazza wa jall) says, “Whoever honours the symbols of Allah – indeed, it is from the taqwā of hearts” (22:32). Similarly, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Taqwā is here, taqwā is here, taqwā is here,” whilst pointing to his chest (Muslim). The believer therefore journeys to Allah through his heart, and not just his body.

ʿAbdullāh b. Masʿūd (raḍiy Allāhu ʿanhu) described the Companions (radiy Allāhu ʿanhum) as the best of this ummah with the ‘most virtuous hearts.’ Bakr al-Muzanī (raḥimahullāh) said, “Abū Bakr (raḍiy Allāhu ʿanhu) did not surpass others because of an abundance of fasting and ṣalāh. Rather, he surpassed them because of something that settled in his heart.”

Ibn Taymiyyah (raḥimahullāh) said, “Actions surpass each other in proportion to the īmān and ikhlāṣ (sincerity) of the hearts. There may be two men in the same row of prayer, yet the difference between their prayers is like the distance between the heavens and the earth.”

Similarly, two individuals may give in charity; one giving £1,000, while the other only gives £10. However, the reward of the second individual may be far greater due to his sincerity.

It is for this reason that ʿAbdullāh b. al-Mubārak (raḥimahullāh) said, “How many a small act is elevated by an intention, and how many a great act is diminished by an intention.”

The Prophet Mohammad S.A.W. said: “Indeed Allah loves that when one of you does something, he perfects it” (Ṭabarānī).

Submitting fully to Allah

An important caveat that we should always keep in mind is that the importance assigned to the actions of the heart does not in any way negate the significance of the external physical actions. Rather, when we internalise the actions of the heart, we will come to realise that they always go hand in hand with the external acts of worship. One without the other will always be defective.

One of Shayṭān’s tricks, particularly in this modern age, is to undermine the outer acts of obedience in Islam by convincing us that ‘what really matters is my heart and inner state’. For instance, we may convince ourselves that so long as we have a clean heart and pure intentions, ḥijāb is not necessary. In reality, however, if our hearts are truly pure, we would fully submit and humble to the outer commandments of Allah (subḥānahū wa taʿālā), and not to our own desires.

Via Life with Allah

[campurancilidankicap]

14 Jan 2023 2320

Sometimes

I wonder if I’m doing things right. I’ll try my best. To do right by myself. I know while somethings are in the wrong - i’m still trying. I’m planning. I’m stalking myself, staying low. Protecting myself from influences I don’t truly need or find beneficial to my growth as I journey onwards.

Having heard from a friend that you’ve realised your mistake and that there’s nothing you can do but now you’re busying yourself fixing up your grandmother’s place..I hope you’re doing okay. I pray to God that you’ll be fine. My heart tingles and it aches. I understood you. I wished you had, for me. I wished you cared for me more than yourself but to know you’ve been out of it for years and having found yourself important to survive these years - I realise my hope for you was too much even for you to accept. I only wanted the best for you. I’ve missed you. I still do but I’ve no choice. Carrying on is the only way forward. You’re the one that let himself slip away and i’ve got to let you be. I wished it was only between us. You only gave up on yourself and I had no way to stop you. Love. Love. My love…you have been harsh.

Love has been harsh. A straight smack from nowhere though I felt it coming like a wave. I just never knew you’d be my wipe out. Love is a wipe out. And i’m always on the end, where the lip crashes on me. I’m always too late to save myself. I’m always ready to get washed away and enjoy the white washes that I can manage to stay on. I’m all alone and I’ll die alone. All I feel is cleansed. Crazed into this desire of the water. A depth I’ve long feared - I hope i’ll only be able to go further. I’ve missed you, my love. You’re a wild wave i’ve paddled for but never got to catch, only been there to get wiped out by. Your lips only haunt me and sank me deeper than I’ve ever thought I could be. Thank God. Alhamdulillah so much. For giving me a leash. For leaving me a line - so I can pull myself up and out to safety before I got dragged any further into a depth I’m not ready to understand.

Alhamdulillah. I love You, ya Allah. The Only True Love that matters. Time and time again. You allow me to be wiped out but to feel loved by being able to save me to survive and regain my breath again. Oh how I could have died.

Oh how You saved me. You gave me a strength I knew nothing about but to go out with. You couldn’t have allowed me to sink into fear and self pity - You gave me a will and knowledge that had me survive the next many days there. Wave after wave. Depth out of reach but love always burnt for long.

Ya Allah. I hope you bless H with this same love. With this same burning love. With the same, or more. More! For I have loved a free bird and hope they only stayed free but bounded to Your Love. I’m afraid. Have our length apart made us further from You? We were so close to tying a knot we had so many wonders of but we were evidently not strong enough to intend to Your way, enveloped by desire for one another or ourselves in one another..but far from loving You in between it all.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I had given you up, H. You’re a love I won’t forget. A burning desire creeps in me to just see your face again but I rather not, if that’s a choice..all in fear I won’t forget you again. I can’t let you see me as I am now. I’ve gone further. And it’s been getting harder and i’m trying but you’ll never know. The desire still burns and life was easier having been in a bubble with you. I thought that was true. But a bubble with you meant floating further from everything else. But i’m not ready for that. I can’t do that. Don’t you see? My love laid deep with the ones who would never have given up on me, my family. I wished you understood me. I wish you the best H. May Allah always keep you in Remembrance and closer to Him than ever, until your last days. But may your days last long and be filled with so much love you’ve never even experienced. And may it be sweet. Sweet like the heavens I hope you always deserve. Accompanied by loves all around. I’m so sorry. I wished I could be a bidadari. But i’m not even half myself when I’m following you. I’m a distant particle hoping to latch onto a love that’s true and will go through. If I could only see you, talk to you and bid you happiness in wherever and whatever you do. If I could only see you happy afterall, for Dunia and Akhirat - ya Allah, please grant it! My heart might feel wiped out again but oh…I’d live it through for as long as you leave the leash on my feet, dragged to the board that’ll help me resurface from this depth I can’t even float in..i’d do it again.

Maybe i’m a tad crazy. I’m definitely on my way to being mad. I’m alone and craving it even further in hopes to meet more that may matter in each part of the globe where love resided. There must be love out there - not for me to run after - but for it to come when the time is right. I’m only in duel with myself. What else do I have to lose? A love will come when You allow it. And I hope i’m not as blindsided when it comes. I hope i’m ready as can be - not to be swept off my feet but it holds onto me dearingly without a harm across their mind. Just an endearing grace of the hearts. Do you have the same goal as I do? Are you as good for me as I am, for you? Ya Allah - give me strength. I’m in need of whatever good you have bestowed for me: make me ready for it. I’m scared. I’m an open wound trying to stay covered. I’ve been wounded and how else could I protect myself if You don’t allow me to. Allow me. But please, let me be ready when love is near and there for me. Let it be easy. Let it be loving. Let it be filled with love for You too, and always, and forever between us as if our brittle hearts depended on it.

Let me read this again in time to come and feel gratitude Not of my own desires fulfilled. But to have Your blessing surprise me of the Love you give and always giving and never ending…ah. I hope i’m not too far from You. I’m sorry. I’m not good enough, not even for myself to be better at. I’m impatient while I assume myself waiting patiently.

[filosofika]

The art of letting go

I always give my trust for anything, anyone is 100% trust or what we called it “unconditional trust” in hope that it will reflect the way I feel and act towards them in a good way, not in a bad intention. I never thought that the world is using the conditional trust when it comes to any business thing. They give you trust a lil bit, once you can handle it, it can be grow as big as you’re capable to fulfill their standards. I think it’s like giving a pet food. You give the pet food little by little as if the Cat (i.g) is so hungry then all he gets only several pieces of meal. In my opinion, they just maintaining the expectation. I mean, huh, this topic is something very relatable nowdays. The must be a case when, you put all of your efforts, and one single mistake could dragging you down, and they can blame yo for anything I mean....this is so harsh, I can’t relate. And I’m fully aware that it’s already created by the system and all I can do is trying to fit in or express my opinion towards it, if nothing’s changed, then leave is the only option. ah! there’s another way to keep stay and try to make a change in a baby step. Let’s see how it could impact it or not. The best way to say that, all we can do just accept this condition and this is not something that I could control.  I was in discussion with colleagues that Stoicism teaches us how to let things go. In Islam we know this concept as “accepting the destiny”. As destiny is something secret about life that only God knows why certain things happened to us and why we need to meet certain people and so on. I feel like, I mean it must, God is watching me now. hehehe

Dear Allah,  Thank you so much for such a blessing that you give to me even until now, I’m still breathing, having my family with me, have a job, friends, and something that I could work on to, you let people to invent music so that it always entertain me on the rainy days. Thank you so much for sending me a beautiful family that always try their best to give their love to me, even if I’m the one who’s struggling to feel their love, with all of my flaws, you always embrace me, hug me in your arms to stay on the right path (insyaAllah, I need your help to get me through this test, because it’s so hard for me without You). Thank you for sending me the universe that full of people, birds, beaches, mountains, a lot of countries, difference languages, culture, and all the things that makes the universe shining in their own way. It would be thrilled if I could see a person that has exact the same face like me in another part of the world. I wonder how is she doing now? does she strong enough to face the music? I really want to see her and hug her. 

Your love is endless ya Allah, please take care of me, I need your guidance, I can’t even walk, see, feel, sense, breathe, or anything without You. Please protect me, my family, friends, and everyone that I love from anything bad that could lead them to suffer, if it’s still happen, please create a bond between us that always helping each other out as we will be like such a big family to always do a good deed. Aaaa will I be able to see you, Allah? I couldn’t wait to meet you. I hope and believe that I could be the one that could enter paradise, please show me the way. I’ll risk my life for it. 

Please protect me from myself that could lead me to a way that you dislike. Aamiin. You are The Only One Protector that could protect me from harms.

I love you, Allah I love you, Rafika I love you, guys Let’s keep our head held high! *smiling out from ear to ear 

[nightswithkookmin]

Actually this is my wallpaper 🙈

Stole it but yea... lobe it😌

Also why are you always on to me😭😭😭

Am I that predictable???😩

And honestly it's the tags and the hand on JM's shoulder for me😔

I'm weak willed😔

Jikook is my weakness😔

That hand on Jimin says a lot. A LOT!

It says I'm not ashamed to be with this man. But ot also says I will protect him no matter what. It says I love him and it says I don't want to be free of him.

It's the moment we needed in 2021. Jikook saved 2020 and 2021 with just this one look. I am looking at fashion blogs, Twitter trends and it's all everyone is talking about.

The amount of fans they're gonna convert with just that one look, that typical Instagram couple aesthetic🤭

It says THEY'VE ARRIVED without so many words.

Just the other day y'all were trending free Jungkook. Does that look like someone who wants to be free?? How about a clown suit??

No weapon fashioned against Jikook shall prosper Insha Allah in name of baby Jesus.

Y'all are forbidding their love and yet that it is the very thing that will draw them closer. Ask Romeo and Juliet they will tell you how compelling it is.

They've been there done that.

That's the transformative power of true love.

Yes, shipping people who are not gay or a couple on a regular can ruin their relationship.

But that don't apply to actual couples💀💀

Imagine Justin leaving his wife just because we ship them too much or want him back with Selena🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When the love and the friendship is built on puff and air that's when they start making excuses talking about the fans ruined us. Jikook's relationship is built on firm foundations because the love is genuine.

Jikook is real.

And they look like a snack.

Hope you enjoy your stay Jikook. Saranghae💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

GOLDY

[b-lessings]

Salam!

Hope you’re doing great Insha’Allah tala!

I’m struggling w/ something since long. I got into university in February. I take hijab as well as niqab alhamdulillah. But ever since my university started, I’m facing issues in making friends. Every other girls group has guys in them and it’s very hard for me to hang out w/ guys in the group (which isn’t even permissible). My friends from high school who are in university with me now have changed so much. Their thoughts and opinions have changed. I literally have no sincere friend ever since the university started and it’s actually getting hard for me now cuz I can’t even discuss things related to studies.

I get upset, anxious, stressed out. My heart feels so heavy. I just don’t know why. At times, I think of sitting with the girls in a group despite of the guys being there. But I just don’t know I just can’t do that. I’d want you to please remember me in your khaas dua’as and any advice you’d want give me.

Honestly, this dunya is such a jail for momin. It’s becoming so hard to live with all the fitnas around. My heart cries everytime and I just don’t know I feel like my will to live is ending.

Jazaakillah khair♥️

Wa Alaikum assalamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu sister,

First of all, I just want to say congratulations on getting into university, that's a great accomplishment. And also, congratulations on wearing Hijab and Niqab Ma Sha Allah, Allahuma barik laki 🤍🤍 May Allah swt ease your path and keep you steadfast on his straight path, ameen.

Reading your ask, I remembered a post I saw recently that basically says that it is not easy to choose the path of Allah swt in our modern day world which is full of fitnah and sins tbh. So your feelings are very valid, the situation you are living is really difficult and you have all the right to feel saddened, upset and confused. And especially if you live in an environment where Muslims are not the majority, it gets even harder. (but even if you live in a Muslim majority country, it is still challenging, sübhanallah). I know and understand your need especially at this stage of your life and this age to belong, to relate to someone or a group of people, to be socially active, to be accepted and not marginalized, to enjoy yourself and your youth, to have a 'community' and it is incredibly hard when you don't find people with common principles and shared beliefs. But you CHOSE the path of Allah swt. In the eyes of Allah swt you are in a much higher ranking. And this could be your test. Allah swt could be testing your sincerity and your honesty in the lifestyle you have chosen, He could be testing how much you love Him and want to obey Him. So He is putting these temptations at your display to see which way you will go, are you still going to hold on to Allah's rope or give in to the worldly temptations. And it is well known that Allah swt saves his hardest tests to the best of his people. When you look at these friends of yours hanging out with guys and leading a fun life so simply with no complications, I want you to remind yourself that this life and that pleasure is only temporary, and that at the end of the day, when we stand before Allah swt on judgment day, what YOU ARE DOING right now by staying away from free mixing and respecting your islamic dress code and your faith, that's what matters, that's what is going to save you in shaa Allah. I promise you, these worldly pleasures have shaytan's scam drawn all over them. May Allah swt keep you steadfast on the straight path and protect you from Shaytan. Ameen. And I know free-mixing is one the biggest fitnahs but worst case scenario, if you really had to interact with them, you should still remain respectful and within the limits that Allah swt allows. Kheir in shaa Allah sister.

As for the loneliness, I feel for you, but do not despair my dear. Allah swt says in surat Ta Ha (20:46) Do not fear, indeed, I am with you, all hearing and all seeing. As a matter of fact, you have Allah swt by your side, you CHOSE Allah swt as your companion. Allah's words (the Quran) could be your best friend. Here's a tip, I don't know if you can carry a small book of the Quran in your purse or bag wherever you go but you can download your favorite recitations on your phone, and whenever you are community, going in or back from uni, you can just put your earphones on and listen to them, for it will bring your heart peace and contentment in shaa Allah. And I know as humans we always feel the need for socializing and exchanging stories, you can use Tumblr for that, you can post alllllll the stories you need/ want, talk about your day, interact with sisters who not only will in shaa Allah understand you but also might be going thru the same thing and struggles as you, and thus, could help out bi ithnLlah. You can also read books, listen to podcasts etc. It is definitely beneficial for your knowledge and personel development but also, it will distract you from all the fitnah going on around you, my dear sister.

Finally, I don't want to make this too long for you, but I have one quick tip, when it gets too hard, remind yourself that you are doing this for the sake of Allah swt, the almighty, the wadud (ever loving), the gracious, the most kind, the most gentle, the one who is waiting for us to run to Him,talk to Him, confine in Him, so that He will in shaa Allah please us and comfort us. Please think of this my dear sister. I pray that Allah swt fill your heart with strength and sabr, I pray He enable you to see the truth and the fakeness of the worldly pleasures, and keep you steadfast on his straight path. You are living your own Jihad journey my dear, and you will be in shaa Allah rewarded with the biggest blessings. Ameen 🤍.

#all the love and support to this queen #allahuma barik laha.

[sisterssafespace]

Asalamualaykum i hope you're well❤️. Once again i did something stupid. So im a very impulsive person tooo impulsive and it is really affect me deen wise. So last year i was attending concerts and other impermissible gatherings where music and alcohol and other drugs is and in those gatherings i would remove my niqab and hijab and wear things i shouldn't all because of my fmo and wanting to fit in with my non Muslim friends. I really cant help it especially when i feel pressured to attend. This year i told myself that i would not attend there was event that just passed it was supposed to be happening on Sunday and i told myself that i wouldn't get the tickets for it and i didn't. But there was event on Saturday and i went the whole of Saturday dodging my impulses to buy the tickets to go but then 2am Sunday morning i got tickets and went to the event (it ended at 5am) i compromised my deen again. My non Muslim friends were at both events and i mostly wanted to go to be with them both events. I am already someone who struggles with low emaan all the time. I dont pray ever because of procrastination and i do have the urge to i really do. The only time i prayed consistently ever was this year Ramadan and 2 months after. I had never felt so close to Allah and my deen than when i was praying consistently. I just feel so lost and that im destined for jahanam and i if carry on likes this there is no hope for me at all. I literally cannot to talk to anyone about this because im afraid of being judged by others and those close to me.

Wa alaykum assalamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear,

Sübhanallah you sounded very aware of the situation in your ask. Your words reflected someone who's mature enough and smart enough to know right from wrong. You are also fully aware of the consequences of your actions and that you are - in your own words - compromising your deen. The good thing is that the feeling of guilt or regret that you feel afterwards, the unpleasant feeling that settles in your gut, that actually shows that you have a pure heart, you have a good nature, a good fitrah, you just get carried away and you let shaytan manipulate you sometimes. See if you weren't a good girl and if you didn't love Allah swt, if you had completely gone astray then you wouldn't be feeling this way.

Now, what are you going to do about the situation? I feel like there are 3 major points, all of them have been discussed and mentioned before on this page in previous asks:

1) Do not despair of Allah's mercy. As long as we are still breathing, as long as there is still rooh in us, Allah's door is always open and we can always come back.

2) Recognize the shaytan's traps and stay away from them - close the door that will lead you to relapsing/ sinning

3) Strengthen your Eman with your daily remembrance ( adhkar ) and duaas: you need to shield yourself and protect yourself with reciting your morning and evening adhkar, as you will be asking Allah swt to protect you from all evil, from shaytan, to forgive you, to guide you. Adhkar are a believer's best friend. Once you commit to them you will definitely feel the change in your life even in the smallest details. There are apps that provide these adhkar with translation and the app would even notify you to remind you to recite them.

Listen my dear, you are a smart girl Allahuma barik, all you have to do is not act upon your impulses. And as an impulsive person myself, I know from the experience that the way to control that is to be one step ahead + Taqwa (awareness and consciousness of Allah swt). How? As for being one step ahead or let's call it prevention, you need to clean out your environment just like someone detoxing their body for them not to get sick or someone who's gonna start a diet so they clear out their kitchen and fridge from anything that's unhealthy and might be tempting. Like as a simple example, I would delete that app for the concerts/events.. which is related to point 2. And if the weekend is coming and you can anticipate that your friends will go out and invite you, prepare yourself to say no, practice saying no, or just straight up tell them that you can no longer associate with such environments! Because sweetie at the end of the day, the friends that are going to make you sin and are going to take you away from Allah swt are not your friends. But to be completely honest, I don't blame your friends, at the end of the day they're non-muslims, from their perspective there is nothing wrong with going to these events for them. It is your responsibility to stand up for what you believe and what you represent. I bet it is also very confusing for your friends to see as this Muslim girl who just removes her niqab and hijab ( and her beliefs) for a couple of hours to have fun?? I am so sorry to tell you that it reflects such a bad image of Islam, which is not what we are supposed to represent! I am trying to look for the softest way possible to tell you this but please never do that again! I know you might be wearing the hijab and the niqab for a different reason, maybe it's a cultural thing, maybe it's not your fault you don't understand their value, their meaning and their sacredness, maybe you didn't choose to wear them in the first place but please respect your hijab, and your niqab, please do not violate their sanctity by associating with alcohol and concerts. It is really painful to know you are going through this. I feel like we need to have a long conversation about the meaning of hijab and the reason why Muslim women choose to wear the niqab, about their meaning, about the mothers of the believers, about the sahabiyat who gave their lives for us to be walking around today in our hijabs, and why Islam in one word means to submit to Allah swt and obey His orders.

I don't want to make this too long for you, I just want you to know that I am not judging you, no human being is perfect, no muslim is pious enough or religious enough not to sin and not to make mistakes, we are all sinners in different ways, it is just Allah's mercy and setr that is covering us. But please sweetie, you sound like a mature young lady who can be responsible and can make good choices. So please make the right ones. In Islam Halal is clear and Haram is clear. There are no blurred lines. And if you are old enough to concerts alone and pay for them alone, then you are old enough to make the right decisions.

One last word: whatever you do, do not quit praying, it is the prayer that holds that string between you and Allah swt, it is the prayer that washes away the sins. May Allah swt accept from you.

I am sorry if anything I said came off as harsh. I hesitated for days before I could write this answer because I didn't want to be overly dramatic or come off as brutal 💔 May Allah swt guide us all. I pray that Allah swt forgive me the shortage of my answer. I wrote from the heart, in shaa Allah I managed to write what Allah swt had inspired me to convey. I pray from the bottom of my heart that Allah swt shows you right from wrong and guides your heart, ameen. Please stick to your adhkar, make istighfar as much as you can and send prayers upon Prophet Muhammad ﷺ as well.

Here are a couple of duaas you can recite in your sujud:

رَبَّنَا لَا تُزِغۡ قُلُوبَنَا بَعۡدَ إِذۡ هَدَيۡتَنَا وَهَبۡ لَنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحۡمَةًۚ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلۡوَهَّابُ

Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestow.

يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك

Oh turner of the hearts, keep my heart steadfast upon your deen.

La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah 🥺.

- A. Z. 🍃🤍

#sisterssafespace

[eleanorbloom]

When You’re Ready Ch. 18

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 7.4k  (I’m making up for my almost three weeks of absence!)

Warnings: Angst, cussing and nudity. Rated T.

A/N: Please excuse me the fact that I’m mixing past and present tense in this chapter. I tried to write it all in past tense as usual, but it didn’t feel right aesthetically in some parts, so I just let it be XD

Taglist @utterlyinevitable​​ @binny1985​​ @shanzay44​​ @choicesficwriterscreations​​ @starrystarrytrouble​​ @lahellacute​​ @lucy-268​​  @cinnamonspongecake​​ @romewritingshop​​ @bratzlahela​​ @mrs-raleighcarrera​​​   @mercury84choices​​  @curiousconch​​

______

Chapter 18: Into My Arms.

 So keep your candles burning

And make her journey bright and pure

That she will keep returning

Always and evermore

Into my arms, O Lord

 Bryce had never been a man of strong faiths, but he wasn't a cynical either.

He was just practical. He respected people who needed something to believe in, but preferred to put his beliefs in science because that's what was closer to infallibility compared to religion. After all, that's why he decided to become a surgeon, he believed in the power of medicine to heal people against all adversities.

However, he knew medicine wasn't enough. At least not when he's not the one holding the scalpel and giving everything he has to save a life, but holding the hand of the person he loves the most, and her life is hanging by a thread.

Doctors have medicine. They do everything they can with their knowledge and skills to save lives. But patients? All they have in the waiting is hope. And all they can do is pray.

After spending hours awake, not missing a single second of her breath, of her arterial pressure, of her oxygen levels, all the indicators that could assure him that she was alive, the passing of time inevitably starts kitting uncertainty upon him. Would it be enough? Will they do it on time? Will they do it at all? Because he knows the possibilities and limits of medicine. He knows that sometimes there won't be an answer, there won't be a cure, there won't be anything that could be done.  

Sometimes, medicine is not enough and death is inevitable.

Bryce had never been a man of strong faiths, but he wasn't a cynical because maybe, just maybe, he was just waiting for the time he would need something to believe in. When his optimism and science combined wouldn't be enough. When the waiting would be so long, excruciating, and painful that he would need something to hold on to. A refuge.

Just like now.

Just like now when there's nothing left to do but pray.

To God, Allah, Buddha, Yahweh, Jehovah, Kāne.

"Please, please, let them find the antidote. Please, let them find it on time so Eleanor, Rafael, and Danny can survive. Please. Please."

There's no logic in asking the unseen something only medicine can give. But it doesn't hurt. It actually feels like a warm blanket that envelops in the middle of a tempest. At some point, it will soak with rain and it will no longer provide warmth, but it will do for a while. And that's all that he needs. Temporary comfort. Temporary faith to go through the night.

"Please protect her. Don't take her away. Don't take her away from me. Please. Please."

And then he begs like God is doing all this. As if they don't make the antidote, is because God moved his thread to not make it happen.

As if he needs to have someone to blame in case things go wrong.

Because blaming God is universal.

"They'll make it, they'll make it. They'll find the cure. She will live. They will live. Everything will be alright."

And then he just holds onto hope. He desperately forces himself to stay positive. To not think in a scenario where they don't make the antidote or where it's too late. And he tries to remain in that state, not daring to move his thoughts even a single inch, fearing that the slight movement could send him to the abyss. So he just locks himself in that state of mind. Hoping. Pleading.

Sunrise was dimly percolating through the blinds when a shriek startled him. Bryce turned his gaze, previously fixated in the monitor, and found Eleanor tossing on the bed, shuddering.

"Eleanor, what is it? I'm here, baby."—He asked, standing up from the chair and leaning over her, studying her reactions. Her breath was ragging and all of a sudden, she sat up, clutching her stomach desperately.

"It… Owww! It hurts so much…"

"What hurts?"

"My stomach and… my chest… My… My lungs and… heart…"

Her voice went mute and then hunched on the bed, her cries growing desperate.

"It's okay babe, take a deep breath."—He pated her on the back in a soothing way, hoping that the slow movement could ease her pain somehow.—"In half an hour someone from the team should come to administer the next dose of your treatment. How much it hurts? Do you think you can hold on?"

After a few moments, Eleanor nodded, thriving to breathe as deep and slowly as she could.

"Seven."

"Okay, you can do this, beautiful."

Bryce forced himself to take a deep breath too. Even if had passed several hours since Eleanor fell in that state, he could never get used to the idea of her suffering and not being able to do anything to stop her pain.

"Do you want some water?"

"Please."

Trying to ignore the lump in his throat, Bryce walked to the other side of the bed, poured a glass of water, and offered it to her, sitting behind her to give her support.

Eleanor received the glass and brought it to her mouth her hand quivering. Bryce hurried to place his own hand over hers to steady the glass and then watched her intently, waiting for her reaction.

A moment later, her eyes widened.

Fuck.

"What is it? It… it feels hot for you?"

She nodded, slowly and solemnly.

His whole body froze for a second.

"I'm doomed."

It was an affirmation, not even a complaint.

"Babe, you are not doomed. You're still standing, there's still time, and I'm sure the team will find the antidote soon."

"Stop this crap, Bryce. Let's be realistic here, it will be less painful for you in the … Owwww. Shit!"—Her face flinched and a hysteric sob escaped her mouth.—"Fuckkk, it hurts so much now…"

"How much?"

"A nine."

"I'll page Ramsey."

Bryce took Eleanor's pager and wrote frantically. He didn't know how he steadied his hands because his whole body was trembling, and his mind was feeling unbearably dizzy.

"COME NOW."

It had taken him just a few seconds paging Ethan, but when Bryce looked at Eleanor, her face was glistening with sweat and the only reason she was still staying upright on the bed, was because he was holding her from behind.

"I'm sorry Bryce… I'm… not strong enough."

"Baby don't say that. You're incredibly strong and brave."

Even through the latex, Bryce could feel how cold her body was, and when he placed a hand over her forehead, she felt even colder.

Desperate, he took her in his arms and placed her on his lap, cradling her protectively.

As she felt his warmth enveloping her, Eleanor curled up over him, grasping the fabric of his suit instinctively, and pressed her face to his chest.

He had never seen her this fragile and weak.

"I'm so tired…"

Her eyelids seemed heavy, making her incapable of keeping them open, but she was resisting, trying to see him through the window of his suit.  

He looked into her chocolate eyes, tired and pleading, while he was tracing soothing circles on her temple.

"It will pass, babe, I promise. Ethan will put you to sleep, but please, please stay with me. Stay with me."

How much he wanted to place a kiss on her forehead and soothe her pain with his caresses, as so many times he had done before. When she was feeling sad, angry, frustrated, sick. He had always found a way to make her feel better.

But now…

The lump in his throat was so painful that he couldn't hold the tears anymore.

He felt so useless.

So hopeless.

He couldn't do anything right. He couldn't stop her pain, he couldn't find the antidote. And now he couldn't even hold his emotions and stay strong for her, while she was trying so hard to keep her eyes open and stay with him.  

He was an utter fiasco.

And then… her body felt heavier in his arms and her grip on him loosed.

Bryce panicked.

"Babe?"—His voice was barely a whisper. He looked at the monitor, her vitals were dropping. —"Babe? Please…"

He didn't know if he was pleading to her or to the unknown.

"I'm… ssso…tired…"

His whole body relaxed when he heard her voice. She was still with him. She just couldn't with her body anymore.  

He embraced her more tightly, pressing her head to his chest, and stroked her hair softly.

"Keep fighting, babe, I got you. You're doing great, gorgeous."

He didn't know how much time passed, but suddenly the sound of the decontamination tent door woke him up from his pleading state. When he looked up, Ethan was standing in the entry, frozen.

It was a shocking view, undoubtedly. Her body motionless in Bryce's arms, while he was fighting the sobs with pleading words.

"What happened?"

Baz asked, slipping behind Ethan, with an evident tremor in his voice.  

Bryce cleared his throat and breathed deeply.

"She… Uh… experienced the hot-cold reversal a while ago and her pain has escalated. Started with a seven and now is a nine."

Only then Ethan could react, taking a step toward the bed, studying the bundle of bones curled up over Bryce's lap.

"Her vitals had dropped but are still better than Rafael's at the moment he fell into a coma."— June commented, inspecting the numbers in the monitor.—"Any other symptoms?"

"Cold sweat and loss of strength."

"Did she sleep?"

"Yes, about five hours. She woke up minutes before I paged."

June nodded, adding the new information to the chart.

"Eleanor, are you still with us?"—Baz asked, holding a needle with a crystalline liquid inside.

Eleanor hummed.                          

"Good. Excellent. I'm gonna administer a higher dose than last time, okay? This will put you to sleep and hopefully when you wake up the pain will have decreased."

Baz injected the dose into the IV. After a few minutes, when Bryce felt she had fallen into a deep slumber, he stood up and placed her on the bed, covering her with the duvet. Then, turned to Ethan, who was witnessing the whole process silently.

"Any progress with the antidote?"

"Yes. There's a chemical that we are synthesizing that seems to be our best option so far. We are expecting to have it ready in a couple of hours."

Bryce nodded, hope resurfacing again after such dark and tortuous hours.

After a few more exchanges, the Team left, leaving him alone again, praying with all his strength that the chemical is the answer.

Minutes feel like hours. And hours an eternity. His hand had gotten atrophied by holding hers, but letting her go isn't an option, scared that she might go if he leaves her even for a second.

He's drugged by fear.

*

"We did it!"

Bryce isn't sure if he's imagining it, if he's daydreaming about the moment when their friends and the team will find the cure, or if it's true. If it's really happening.

But when he sees Ethan entering the room again, his eyes glistening with pride and hope, smiling, he knows is not his imagination.  

"We made an antidote."

It feels surreal. His whole body feels lighter and suddenly a burst of laughter attacked him.

Happiness, relief. Hope.

He knew there was a chance the antidote couldn't work. But he chose to believe it would.

And then he can't stop thinking about all the things they talked through the night. All their plans, all the places they would go, all the things they would do.  All the things he would say to her, but he kept inside for fear.

All the love he had to give to her.

There was so much to explore and learn with her. Life was giving both of them a second chance. Not only to Eleanor but to him too.

And then all he can do is thank. Thank to whoever accompanied him through the night. To whoever held him and filled him with hope.

To whoever put a blanket over him, to keep him warm until he reached a shelter. A safe place.

Bryce was now full of hope and optimism.  With the optimism he knows so well and that comes naturally to him. He's sure everything will be alright now.

And he thanks his friends and the doctors who helped. He knows words will never be enough to thank them for what they've done, but he decides to do it on the brink of his emotions, when they are more genuine, and retributions and gratefulness is all that people need after such a long night giving everything of themselves to find the antidote. To save the lives of their friends and colleagues.

*

The waiting in the next hours was nothing like the last one. They're full of hope.

Benjamin joined him in the room once he gave his parents the news. After a while he forced him, with the same persuasion and stubbornness that Eleanor would do, to take a break.

"Bryce, you should have some rest."

"I can't leave her side."

"I get it, I really do, but at least you should take some air, eat something, have a coffee. You haven't left the room in like ten hours. I'm sure you wanna be in your best conditions when Eleanor wakes up and not pass out of exhaustion after five minutes."

Bryce stared at Benjamin, the determination set in his eyes was the same he had found so many times in Eleanor's. Where would that come from? From their mother or their father? Hopefully, he was expecting to find it out that night.

An hour later, after catching up with his friends in the cafeteria and calling Keiki to give her the news, he returned to the room with renewed energy and a lot more confident than before.

It only takes him a minute to start talking with Benjamin as if they were old friends.

Hours flied by.

"Man, I'm not saying that Kobe doesn't have his merits, but let's be honest: without Michael Jordan, there is no Kobe."—Bryce stated, both sitting in chairs at the end of the bed.

"But we are not discussing who came first or their legacies, we are discussing objective facts. For example, Kobe beats Michael in career poin-"

"Shut up you two, we all know Lebron James is better than Michael and Kobe."

Bryce and Benjamin's eyes widened in shock and turned to the bed, where Eleanor was awake and smiling.

"Andrew! You're awake!"—Benjamin jumped up toward her side and hugged her affectionately. –"I'm so happy to see you okay, sis."

"And I'm glad to see you again, bebé."

Bryce sat on the other side of the bed and caressed her cheek.

"Hey, babe."

"Hey."—She smirked—"I should've asked you if you were team Kobe or team Jordan before agreeing to be your girlfriend but… I think it's too late to give you back now."

Bryce chuckled, giving Benjamin an amusing glance.

"I'm sure we'll be able to keep the debate on civil terms, right, Benji?

"Absolutely."

"How are you, beautiful?"

"I'm feeling… surprisingly good. Did they change the treatment?"

"No, must be the antidote that's working. And probably you're still high for the morphine."

"Did you say antidote?"

Eleanor was a mix of confusion and amazement.

"Yeah. The team created an antidote. They injected it like… about four hours ago."

"And why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because Baz put you to sleep, you don't remember?"

"No? What happened?"

Bryce looked at Benjamin who shook his head subtly.

"You were in deep pain, so Baz put a higher dose of morphine. It would have been like… humanly impossible to wake you up considering the dose."

Eleanor frowned.

"I don't remember any of it, honestly. How deep are we talking about?"

"You reached a nine, but the Team came quickly so you didn't suffer too much."

"A nine? Shit. That's pretty bad. Maybe that's why I don't remember a thing. "

"And you had a fever too."

She nodded.

"And how they did it? The antidote, I mean."

"In simple terms, they created a compound that binds to the maitotoxin and prevents it from attaching to the plasma membranes. So far has worked very well and your levels of the toxin had decreased significantly since the administration."

"And they beat the stupid Government. How embarrassing—She giggled., and how has worked with the boys?"

"They are still in a coma, but their levels had dropped too. Very slowly, though."

"I'm glad Danny is still with us. I really thought he would…"—Eleanor shook her head—"He's such a fighter."

"Yes. You all are, Elle."

"What about mom and dad, Benji? Have you spoken to them today?"

"Early in the morning, before they took their flight here. And luckily for them, they were at a stop in Lima when the news of the antidote came, so I texted them right away. They'll arrive at about 11 pm."

"Great. Great. Poor things, at least they are traveling knowing the worst has passed."—Benji nodded—"And you, kiddo, have had some rest?"

"Yeah, I could sleep a few hours during the night, but then I went to Lab to see how was the searching. It was really impressive watching all those brilliant minds working."

"Oh, yeah. I would've loved seeing Ethan working with Tobias. Those to hate each other, you know? I don't know how their egos fit the room."

Eleanor laughed, imagining the picture.

"And what about you, mister?"—He directed to Bryce—"I got the feeling you didn't sleep a wink last night."

"I didn't. I had to monitor you, but I went for a coffee and some food a few hours ago under the strict orders of my very good friend Benjamin."

"You're the best, Benji, thank you for taking care of him for me."— Eleanor squeezed his hand approvingly and blow him a kiss.—"Well then. Now that I'm feeling better, and under my strict orders, you're gonna go home, have some sleep, and spend a few hours with your sister, alright?"

"But babe... I ca-"

"Bryce Golden Lahela. I know you want to stay with me, and I swear if I were in your position I'd never want to leave your side, but please, pretty please, do this for me, okay? I bet you haven't seen Keiki since when…? the day before yesterday? Because I'm sure she was completely asleep when you left your apartment yesterday morning"

"Yeah, she was."—Bryce replied sheepishly.

Eleanor was still weak, and he could tell she was doing an incredible amount of effort to stay lucid and strong, but even like that, she had enough energy and strength to take care of him and Keiki. That selfless side of her would always marvel him.

"Please, I'd feel a lot better if you go to sleep and spend the afternoon with Keiki. But…"—She stared at him seriously and then her whole face transfigured in a wicked, almost psycho, smile—"If you don't do it, don't worry, honey, I won't be mad, but I'll kick you out of my room."

Benjamin giggled.

"Dude, do as she says. You know she means it literally, right? Because I'm already seeing her getting up from the bed and kicking your ass."

"Okay, okay, I'll go."—Bryce stood up from the bed, lifting his hands in surrender—"There's no need to use violence. Any special message for your beloved Keiki?"

"Yes, tell her I'm sorry I had to borrow his brother for too long and that I hope I can see her soon because I miss her."

"Yes ma'am."

*

When Bryce opened the door of his apartment, the smell of sauteed veggies gave him a warm welcome.

It'd always cheered him up having his sister receiving him when he got home, but today was different. Today he was grateful for having her after the living nightmare he had been into in the last 24 hours.  Her sole presence was enough to soothe him.

"Bryce?"—Keiki poked her head out of the kitchen and then ran towards him.—"Ohmygod, what are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's okay, don't worry. Elle's awake and getting better. She's so well that…—He chuckled, collapsing on the couch.—" she made me come here to see you and have some sleep. She was worried you were too much time alone… And she's right, of course.  I'm sorry Keiki, I know how abandoned you must have felt."

Keiki shook her head, sitting beside him.

"It's okay, Bryce. You needed to be with her, I totally get it. Not knowing what was happening was worse."

"I know."—He gave him a sad smile.

"Do you wanna have lunch? I have mashed potatoes pie in the oven. It should be ready in like twenty-five minutes."

"Ooh, are you serious? The one you cooked the other day? Because that was superb, Keiks"

"Yeah, the same. I actually was thinking about bringing you some to the hospital. I know you told me not to go, but…"—She gave him a sheepishly smile, shrugging,  but before she could continue, Bryce hugged her, warm and tightly.—"Woah, woah, is just mashed potatoes and ground beef, no need to do such fuss."—She added instantly, patting him nervously in the back.

"Keiki, I was an ass with you for years, and now you're taking care of me like this? I don't deserve it."

"Nonsense. You know we are okay now, and you care a lot about me too, this is nothing."

Seeing Benjamin and Eleanor together had put a lot of things in perspective for him. How caring they were to each other had reminded him of his own relationship with Keiki before he moved to California. They were very close, so close, that he had no doubt that if he hadn't distanced himself the way he did, they wouldn't be much different from how Elle and Benji were.

Even if she was a six-year-old princess living in a fantasy world and he was a teenager soon-to-be a college student, they used to spend a lot of time together back in Maui. Entire days at the beach, swimming, playing hide and seek, playing tag, building sandcastles, doing races, finding forms in the clouds during the day, and looking at the stars at night.

He even learned about constellations just because she liked the stars.

But all that ended when he left and never came back.

He knew closeness and affection were still there, even if had passed ten years, even if she wasn't a kid anymore, but a teenager with a strong character that pretended to be too cool for affection. Because if it weren't like that, Keiki wouldn't have risked what she risked at coming to Boston. She wouldn't have forgiven him how she did weeks ago, and things wouldn't be as good as they were now.

After all those years, Bryce was still her refuge. The only person she could come to. And after all those years, Keiki still managed to bring out the best of him. She was making him thrive to become a better brother, a better man.

"What is it?"—She asked, as Bryce was staring at her tenderly.

"Nothing, I was just remembering those days at the beach. You were so little, and you're so grown up now… and you're even taking care of me when I should be the one taking care of you…"

She smiled sheepishly at him again.

"That's what siblings do."

"That's what I should've done in all these years and I didn't, and what I should be doing now…"

"Bryce, how many times I have to tell you…?"

"Okay, okay, I won't say it again. But… the thing is..."

He breathed. It wasn't easy for him. In fact, he used to avoid at all costs this kind of conversation because there were still a lot of issues he had to resolve with himself, but he felt like he had to say it now, without thinking it too much.

"What?"

"Look… I know things cannot be like they were before, but… I want you to know that you're the most important person in the world to me, Keiki, even if it seemed otherwise for ten years.  Nothing has changed between you and me, okay?"

He didn't know how else to say it but in the way he was feeling it.

And for the first time in weeks, Bryce saw Keiki let her guard down. Her eyes swelled with tears at the mention of those memories at the beach, but after hearing his last words, her lips quivered.  

"Okay,"—She said, wiping a tear from her eye—"But, gosh, what's gotten into you?"

What had gotten into him was that almost losing Eleanor also put a lot in perspective regarding how much he kept to himself. And he couldn't let that happen, let alone with Keiki. She deserved better. She deserved so much more than what their parents (poorly) had given to them, emotionally and affectively. He had to make things right, starting now.

"I love you, Keiki."—Before a sob could escape from her mouth, Bryce hugged her again, this time more tightly. –"Don't you ever doubt about it, okay? And please remember that, at heart, we are the same Bryce and Keiki playing on the beach. No matter the years."

He felt her fighting the sobs, but then she just let it flow.

"I love you too, Bryce."

Bryce breathed contently at hearing those words. That's all that he needed to hear.

After several seconds, Keiki parted from him, wiping the trace of tears off her face.

"This is a one-time bonding moment, right? Because if you're going to be this cheesy and make me cry everyday…"

Bryce chuckled.

"No, no. I know this is not your thing. This is just for today, a cathartic moment after what happened with Elle. But now we return to our regular sibling's relationship, where I'm obviously the cool one."

"HA! Dream on, Bryce. Let me inform you that today I award you with the title of the weirdest and most sentimental brother of the year."

He smiled fondly.

"I guess that makes me even cooler. I'm a total winner. Thank you, sis."

"No! You're the… You know what? Nevermind. After what you did yesterday with Kyra, and considering you're a very caring boyfriend with Ella, yeah, I'll let you be the cooler sibling, but only for this week."

"Oh, thank you for your generosity, loser."

Keiki rolled her eyes, and before sauntering to the kitchen, she ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Take a shower, weirdo. By the time you finish with all your beauty care routines, lunch will be ready."

*

He wasn't sure how many times he'd pleaded for that moment, how many times he'd imagined it on his mind, but it was finally happening. And it felt a thousand times better.

Bryce opened the door of Eleanor's room just as he had arrived at Edenbrook. With a navy-blue hoodie, light-blue jeans, and black and white sneakers. No hazmat suit, no gloves, nothing.

She was asleep. Her chest was moving harmoniously under the sheets, and the vitals on the monitor were almost on normal levels.

She was alright.

He walked to the other side of the bed and carefully laid behind her, placing an arm around her waist. She wasn't as cold as in the morning but still wasn't at her usual warmth. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck and breathed deeply, smelling the natural scent of her body mixed with some very faintly remnants of her shampoo. The sweetness of the pomegranate added even more joy to the fact she was safe.

His hot breath must have woken her up because, after a few seconds lost in her scent, she started stirring on the bed until she finally turned around and faced him.

"I'm dreaming? Why you're not using the hazmat suit?"—She muttered in a slurry voice, looking equally surprised and confused.

He smiled, sliding his index over her cheek softly.

"No, you're very much awake. And safe. Toxin-free safe."

"Toxin-free? Are you for real?"

"Absolutely, the last two blood tests have shown you have no traces of the toxin in your bloodstream."

"Oh my god, I can't believe it… I thought I would die here…"

"And I told you you would live."      

"Yeah, and I've never been happier to be wrong."

They both chuckled

"And I've never been happier to be right."

After a moment, Eleanor started caressing his just shaved and very smooth cheek, but suddenly, she stopped, staring at him expectantly.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

"I was just letting you contemplate me, I'm sure you missed touching this flawless skin."

She snorted.

"I know last night I said I don't find you cocky anymore, but I can change my mind any minute, you know?"

"But you won't."

Bryce parted from her slightly and took his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. He scrolled a few seconds and then a piano melody started playing.

"Is that…?"

When I fall in love it will be forever

Or I'll never fall in love

"You said you wanted a kiss just like Isabella's…"

"Oh my god, I should've known you'd do this."

She placed her hands around his neck.

"The problem is… If I remember this right… you were the one who kissed me that night…"

"Yes, now you will. Period. You're talking too much."

"Now you realize I talk too much?!"

"Bryceeeeeee"

He laughed heartly.

"Okay, okay, miss impatience..."

Bryce tightened the grip around her waist and placed a hand over her cheek. After a few seconds of looking deeply into her amber eyes, he brushed his lips over hers. It was sweet and slow at first, but then he deepened the kiss, capturing her lips in his teeth and playing with her tongue just as she liked it.

Eleanor wanted a kiss like the one at Isabella's, but so much had changed since then, so much he had learned since then.

He knew the way she liked his kisses, how much pressure to use or how deep his tongue could go, so he was going to give her exactly that,  a dreamy kiss, because honestly, he didn't know any other way.

After several seconds, he parted from her.

"Happy now?"

"Mmm… I'm not sure… Maybe you can give me another taste?"

He shook his head and kissed her again, harder. And this time he left her breathless, and giggling, and with the goofiest smile he had ever seen in her.

"Wow. 100/10."

"I'm amazing, I know."

And then, she couldn't help but look at him adoringly. Because yes, yes, he was indeed amazing. And she was completely in love with that amazing man.

"Te amo."—She said with warm candor, and then kissed him enthusiastically and incessantly for several seconds. –"I love you... god, I love you so much… Telling I was in love with you… without being able to kiss you… was a nightmare! But now I can... Finally…Kiss you…As much… as I want…"

Once she stopped, Bryce looked at her, marveled.

"What? Too much?"

He shook his head, biting his lower lip.

"No, it's perfect. Feel free to act like that whenever you want."—He kissed her forehead—"I love you, beautiful."

After receiving the official information from Ethan, June, and Baz, and being filled with kisses and hugs from Benjamin, Bryce wheeled her to her new room so she could take a shower. She didn't want to spend another second in that damned room.

"This is mine?"—Eleanor asked, inspecting the light blue bag over the bed.

"Yeah, I swung by your apartment before coming here, I thought you would need some fresh clothes."

Eleanor stood up with difficulty and wrapped him in her arms lovingly.

"Thank you, my love."

He smiled, melting by the words, but before he could say anything, she clung to him clumsily.  Her legs failed her.

"Mmm, I think someone's going to need some help in the shower."

"Ooops, too bad that someone has a boyfriend with magic hands to help her."—She replied teasingly.

"C'mon, princess."—He whispered, picking her up in his arms and taking her to the bathroom.

Once he collected her shampoo and conditioner from the bag, he returned to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

When Eleanor looked up at him, he felt the air changed instantly.  

It's the intimacy.

The formula is simple. It has always been simple between them. It's just the two of them present at the moment. Whether they're alone or in a group, it doesn't matter. It can happen anywhere. It could be just an intense look; a simple touch; even a hug without saying a word. They only need to be focused on each other.

Bryce took a few steps until his lips were inches apart from hers.  His hand took with precision the hook of her gown, and after untangling it, he threw it to the floor.

When his hands touched her waist, her whole body trembled, and a soft moan escaped her mouth, but soon she shut herself up by kissing Bryce delicately, sinking a hand under his shirt, craving for his skin. He conceded to her desires instantly, of course. After tugging his hoodie and shirt out, Eleanor roamed her hands roam over his bare chest, and leaving a trail of kisses up his chest, until she reached his jaw.

The heat radiating from his body had always soothed her. Even before realizing she was in love with him, being in his arms was her favorite place in the world. But when Bryce pulled her closer, enveloping her arms around the small of her back, and pressed her body flush to his, this time, Eleanor felt like she was coming home.

He wasn't her favorite spot anymore.

He was her home.

The supreme feeling of comfort and tranquility. A safe haven where she could be herself and where she's the happiest.

And where she can be at her lowest too. So she let it all go.

She let go of all her fears, all the what-ifs that had been torturing her mind; all those questions wondering how much she would've missed…

Millions of kisses and hugs; thousands of showers together; thousands of hours of amazing sex; thousands of nights talking, drinking, dancing. Adventures. Movies, movies interrupted by his unstoppable talking, by his kisses, by his innuendos. Sleepovers on the couch with Keiki. Countless moments just staring at each other without saying a word, because sometimes even for Bryce words wouldn't be necessary.

She wouldn't have lived the life she wanted to have with him. The future she wanted with him. She couldn't have known him as she always wanted, with all his wonders and terrors.

A sob echoed in the immaculate bathroom. Bryce gripped her more firmly to calm her shaky body.

The idea of dying with so much left to give was devastating.

Because she was so full of love. The moment she realized she was in love with Bryce she felt like she was going to burst. When she told him she was in love, she was choking with words because her heart inside was bursting with her purest feelings and sensations. And thinking that she could've died without giving him everything she wanted to give him, without giving him everything he deserved, was maddening.

Even if it was in the past, the fear was still too vivid.

"Let it go, love, I got you"—He whispered, his hands always drawing soft patterns on her head and back.

Love.

She could've missed that too. Bryce calling her love. Bryce calling her in so many ways.

She had always wished for a beautiful love, just like their parents had, but for some reason, it was always out of her reach despite her best efforts.  And she could've died without experience it to the fullest with him. With the most wonderful person in the world.

Eleanor wrapped him more tightly, as if she's scared that he could go any minute now.  

"I'm here for you and I'll always be, babe. We have now a whole life ahead of us to do everything we dreamed last night, that and much more."

How? How could he know what she was thinking? How he could know her so well?

"But… we need to start somewhere, right?-- —He whispered, pulling her gently from him.—"We need to start with something small."

He looked into her puffy and reddened face and wiped the tears off her face.

"We'll start with a shower. You need to get rid of all the traces of that fucking toxin. You'll let me take care of you, and then, if you want, we can make a visit to see Kyra and the rest of our friends, who must be waiting for you expectantly to fill you with hugs and tons of love."

"I'd like that."—She replied softly.

"Perfect."—He said before leaning in the shower to turn the faucet on.

After a few seconds, Bryce led her to the shower, and both hummed at the feeling of the hot water running through their bodies. Then he turned and looked at her, deeply.

"Are you feeling better, gorgeous?"—He asked softly and sweetly

"Yeah, so much better. Thank you, my love."

He chuckled and then bit his lower lip.

"God, I love it when you call me like that"

"My love? Well, you are my love."

"Yeah, I guess it's just that… now I understand why you were so reluctant to all this pet name situation."

"Yup, I wanted to say it just when I was 100% sure I was in love with you."

"Makes sense. Now I feel guilty for being too annoying with it."

"You're a Goldie, being annoying is part of your DNA."

He raised an eyebrow, seriously.

"But don't worry, my love is my main pet name for you now. And mi amor. Or maybe you prefer that in the first place?"

Bryce narrowed his eyes, thoughtfully.

"Tough question. I like that too, Spanish sounds so sexy in your mouth."

She smiled mischievously and then planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Te amo, mi amor"

"Feel free to call me however you want, but I'm warning you, I feel things when you speak to me in Spanish."

"What kind of things, mi amor?"

Bryce roamed his hands over her back until he reached her tights. Then, he lifted her effortlessly in his arms and pushed her against the wall.

"Things that… "—He kissed her hard.—"even if it's tempting to do here, I'll save it for another time. I'll create a whole kink of you speaking in Spanish in the meantime"

"Mmm, a new kink. My, oh my. I'll exercise my pronunciation, then, because it has gotten a little rusty over the years."

She kissed him hard this time, pressing her legs and heels against his back.

"Okay, as much as I want to keep going, let's slow it down, babe. We should be doing some cleaning, you know? Or you'll stay as a koala indefinitely?"

She giggled.

"Yes, I'm a koala now."

"Oh, well, then thank you for simplifying me the choice. I was always divided between calling you a sloth or a koala, but koala is perfect. It wouldn't be too romantic of me calling you a sloth."

Both cackled.

"Only in the bed."

"Specify that? In bed like sleeping or like…—He raised his brows suggestively.

"I'm multifaceted, I can be both."

Bryce chuckled.

"Of course you can, babe."

Eventually, Eleanor gave up her dream of remaining as a koala forever and returned to her feet.

Bryce took the shampoo and massaged her scalp softly and dedicatedly, relaxing her. His hands were magical in so many ways.

Then he helped her clean some parts of her body she couldn't reach, teasing her once in a while, until she was all cleaned.  

Once he dried himself up and put his clothes on, he helped Eleanor getting out of the shower and took her back to the room.

He dried her skin delicately. At first, she tried to dress up by herself, but the shower had relaxed her so much, that Eleanor finally gave up, letting Bryce taking care of her as he wanted.

Even if she was feeling a little sleepy, that didn't stop her from feeling amazed with his dedication and the tenderness with whom he was pampering her.

His soft hands spread ever so softly the cream over her arms and legs, and the massaged her so exquisite on her back, that after a while she wondered if she was actually dead and that was heaven.  

Once she was all moisturized and dressed in a mint green pajama, he took the towel wrapped around her head and began combing her hair softly and delicately. At some point, she felt like she was six again, when her mum would bathe her and then comb her long wavy hair patiently until she was free of knots.

"Gosh, you could be a stylist or a massagist, and you'd do it wonderfully."—Eleanor moaned, feeling his fingers combing her hair as Bryce was directing the hairdryer to the nape of her head.

"Of course, I'd be wonderful in anything I pursue, especially with these magic hands."

After five minutes, her hair was completely dry.

"Ponytail or braid?"

"Braid."

She was about to lift her hands to make herself a braid when Bryce asked.

"French or normal?"

She turned around with her mouth agape.

"Wait, besides all your many talents, you also know how to braid?"

"Yeah, you didn't know?"—He chuckled

"No! When did you learn?"

"When Keiki was like… four?—Bryce replied as he was dividing her hair into three sections.—"She's always been bossy, you know? And one day after a day at the beach her braid was a mess, so she said: Bryze, fixit! You're a grown-up, you shud know how to braid hair... And of course, she was right! How incompetent of me not knowing how to braid hair, right? Especially since I had a little sister with very long hair."

"Awww, love, this is so cute! Little Keiki asking for a braid. I'm melting."

A couple of minutes later, Bryce took the hair bun from his wrist and use it to secure the end of the braid.

"There, my princess. All done."—He announced, kissing her crown.

Eleanor brought a hand to her hair and felt the patterns with her fingers.

"This is perfect."

"Why the tone of surprise? Of course it's perfect! I don't do anything that's below perfection."

"I know, I'm just admiring your beautiful work, love."

Bryce gathered all her things and placed them in the closet.

"Ready to see our friends?"

"Honestly? Not yet.

"Hey, you don't have to go if you don't want to. Do you want me to call the guys?"

"No, no…  besides I have to go to see Kyra."

"But you don't have to if you don't feel in the mood for that."

"I know, I just want to lay down a bit with you."

"Of course, babe"—He replied, laying beside her.

Eleanor turned to his side.

"I'm completely melted inside, you know?"

"Why?"

"For the way you've taken care of me, how you pampered me… you even braided my hair…"

"It's the less I can do for you, babe. This is nothing, actually."

She kissed him on the lips and then rubbed the tip of her nose on his.

"You know, if boyfriend lottery exists, I'm sure you're the biggest prize in history, and I'm the lucky winner."

Because she could win the biggest money prize in history, but not even that could compare to the feeling of having Bryce loving her.

Nothing compares to it.

______________________

A/N2: Make Bryce even more perfect than he already is? Achievement unlocked.  Like I love to hurt him (I love angst, actually) but I also love to make him more perfect and more god-tier than he already is. Pure self-indulgence here.

A/N3: As you can see, I'm cheesy/corny not only in romantic relationships but in fraternal relationships too. I have a good relationship with my brother, in fact, we have the same age difference Keiki and Bryce have, so I know firsthand the kind of relationship they could have. And I want to give them that, despite their personalities and the fact that maybe Americans, in general, are not as caring as we the Latinos but… being this caring is something you can learn, you know? So Bryce is learning that from Eleanor. Anyway, it won't be easy, Keiki and Bryce have a lot of issues to explore yet, but Bryce had to take the first step.

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you for supporting my story ❤❤❤

#bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #bryce x mc #bryce x casey #open heart #open heart choices #open heart fanfiction #choices #choices stories you play #playchoices #pixelberry

[islamicrays]

Assalamu’Alaikum. I have someone I like and I wish to get married to him, however, his family isn’t agreeing to it because we are front two different cities back in our home countries (although we’ve lived abroad all our lives). They don’t even want to know anything about me because of this difference. Please keep me in your duaas. I feel like we’ll end up doing sin and we won’t be happy marrying Other people. Please please I need your duaas.

Walaikum Assalaam

My advice will be bit harsh but that's the truth our spouse are already written.If it's meant to happen it will happen; if it's not no matter how hard you try it won't happen. His family is not giving you any respect. Do you want to get into a marriage where his family won't give respect to you and your family. I suggest you to have distance and focus on your relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and keep yourself busy. Don't compromise your values. Make dua to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that He grant you a righteous spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes. His plans are better than our wishes. Trust His plans.

If you plan to get over him then read the post further. Cut off your contact with him. If you can’t get married then stay away from each other. Distract yourself and work on your relationship with Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. Do productive things that will help you in the hereafter as well. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has already written our spouse name. It’s just matter of time. So don’t compromise your values and lead a life pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Abstain from haram relationships. If something is meant for you then you will eventually get in halal way in shaa Allah. We are not perfect and we may make mistakes so rectify it and try your best to abstain from haram.

First we need to attach ourselves to Allah then we can easily detach from others. We need to balance the love of Creator and the Creation. Keep the love of the creation in your hand and the love of Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala in your heart that’s difficult to do but with time you will learn. For this we need to make dua and love for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala

“Call on your Lord when your heart is brittle, that is a time when it’s in pieces and the Light of Allah can fill the gaps. That is why Allāh is with the broken hearted.”

-Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

“The fastest way to heal a broken heart is to find someone better to love, and love more. Know that sometimes heartbreak happens just to push you to Allah.”

-Yasmin Mogahed

Fix your prayers and ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala for the help. Always remember that Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala plans are better than our wishes. Make lots of dua and while asking Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala always say “if it’s good for me” because we don’t know what’s good for us only Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows.

“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Quran 2:216)

Advice from Hadia Alia on moving from a ex boyfriend

“Moving on from an ex-boyfriend can sometimes be very complex. Every situation is uniqe and will require different actions. Here are a few tips to get over him:

Cry. It is ok to cry if you want as it feels better when you let all the emotions out instead of keeping them bottled up inside you forever.Talk to someone you trust. Sometimes you just need someone to listen rather than offer advice. Even you cannot understand why it happened, talking about it can help you accept that the relationship is over.Get the help you need. A breakup can have serious negative effects on your mental and physical well-being, especially if you find that you are still dwelling on it months later. Breakups have been associated with weakened immune systems and an increased risk of illness. People who have not gotten over a breakup within 16 weeks can even experience physical changes in their brains that reduce their motivation, concentration, and emotions. A therapist can help by listening to you, encouraging you to confront your feelings, and teaching you new ways to do with your pain.Remind yourself to let go. There are variety of behavioral techniques you can try to stop thinking about your ex. All of these techniques rely on your ability to recognize when a thought about your ex enters your mind and to take a specific action to stop that thought from coming back. Remember that these techniques are to be used for obsessive thoughts only! If you have not yet dealt with your feelings and taken the time to grieve, you should not try to suppress your thoughts.

– You can try wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it each time you think about your ex.

– You can write down the thoughts you are having about your ex on a piece of paper and then throw it away.

– You can try a visualization exercise, which requires you to visualize a specific scene whenever a thought of your ex occurs to you. For example, you could think of a stop sign in order to remind yourself that you need to stop what you are doing. If you do this consistently, the association should become automatic.

Focus on taking care of yourself. In order to boost your mood, it’s important to practice healthy habits. Make sure you exercise regularly and get plenty of sleep. Committing yourself to a healthy lifestyle will not only make you feel good, but it may just offer you the escape you need from thoughts about your ex

– Start praying five times. It will help you to regain your positivity and let go of the stress associated with your breakup.

Remember, you are strong and can get over him if you really want to.”

Always remember this:

“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by the decree of Allah. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.”

-Umar ibn al Khattab (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu)

On healing broken hearts:

If you are trying to get over a person you can’t be with, treat it like an addiction:

1. Cut yourself off from the drug completely: Cut off all communication and reminders–even if that means blocking numbers, emails, a Facebook profile, and stop checking their Facebook! This is your detox.

2. Replace it with something better: Increase in your thikr (remembrance of Allah) and get closer to Allah. If you aren’t praying your daily prayers, fix that. Pray all and pray on time. Pray qiyam in the last third of the night (just before fajr). Make duaa, tawbah (repentance), cry, plead to Allah. This is your treatment.

(Yasmin Mogahed)

Unlawlful love before marriage…

Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah (rahimahullah) mentions in regards to unlawful love before marriage (i.e. haram sexual relations, or love for someone who you are unable to marry).

“And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. unlawful love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realise that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.

So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.

And they should call upon Allah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allah in abundance.

This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.

And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.

And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!

These people need to be reminded, that the one who is submerged in something will never see it’s ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realise how evil it is.”

I hope it will be helpful. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guide us all to the straight path. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant you a righteous spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes.

Allahumma Ameen

#question

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Aladdin Queen fic John Deacon x reader Chap. 11; Final battle

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well here we go. The final 2 chapters of my Disney Queen AU fic are all ready and waiting for you all to read. So I hope you all enjoy this and I hope tumblr doesn’t screw up the tags below cause I’ve noticed that no one has seen the last chapter and when I type in one of the tags I’ve put down below, it doesn’t show up on the search result. So hopefully we can work this out this time around.

Warnings: Public humiliation, execution, violence, swearing, snakes. 

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queensdivas​

@geek-and-proud​

@queendeakyy​

@kairosfreddie​

@dancingcoolcat​

___________________________________________________________

*My POV*

I kept wondering through the snow calling out to Abu, desperately and hoping that he was alive somewhere since he was with me when the 2 of us got banished to this damned place.

I then heard the faint sounds of shivering just to my right.  There through the snow I saw something move.  I quickly raced over and began digging through the snow.

“This is all my fault. I—I should’ve freed Freddie when I had the chance.” Finally after digging away the snow, there was Abu shivering.  I gathered him in my arms and tried to bury him underneath my shawl as I said to him, “Abu, you okay?”

He nodded while still shivering.  I hugged him closer to me as I apologized.

“I’m so sorry Abu. I made a mess of everything. We—we have to get back and set things right.” I trudged on through the harsh winds and the building up snow but it was then we heard another sound.

It was—like a painful whine.  Just a few feet away curled up as tightly as it could I noticed a familiar creature.  The grey back with black and white patterns along the face and hands.  It was Prince Brian’s pet badger Lulu.  I quickly raced over to her and said.

“Lulu?” she looked up at me and immediately crawled up into my lap.  I quickly put her next to Abu and together the two of them cuddled together to try and keep warm. “How did you get here? Were you close to us when Paul sent us away?”

Lulu kept shutting her eyes and shivering frantically.  I had to find us some shelter and fast otherwise we’re all gonna perish in the cold.

I walked for what felt like miles, already my legs were growing weaker and I couldn’t feel any of my body parts.  My lips were probably beyond blue and my fingers must’ve been long frostbitten by now.  Then my legs just gave out and I collapsed into the snow.  Slowly I rolled onto my back and just felt the harsh winds blow across me.

This is it. This is how I would meet my end. John—I’m so sorry for everything. I wish that I could tell you that, and that I really do love you.  But it seems like I’ll never get that chance.

As my eyes slowly shut, I soon took notice that something was hovering over me.  A pure white figure but before I could even see what it was, my world went black.

Somehow I managed to open my eyes and that’s when I found myself in a large cave.  Wait—how……how did I get here? I was…..I was outside in the storm, how could I possibly be in a cave?

I felt something tickle my nose and give my cheek a lick and that’s when I turned around to see Lulu.  She let out a soft bark before nuzzling into my neck.  I slowly sat up and that’s when I heard the chatter of Abu.

But I was surprised to see Abu cuddled close to a large (and I do mean LARGE) white wolf.  She looked to be about the size of a full grown female tiger, her coat was double layers and thick, but what had me hypnotized by this wolf was its eyes. Most wolves have the golden eyes or deep brown.

This white wolf—it had blue eyes.  So blue that it could rival the ocean itself. It’s eyes never left mine as I stared up at this beautiful creature.

“Did—did you bring us here?” surprisingly the wolf bowed it’s head in a nod.  It’s ears turned backward as its eyes softly shut before opening back up. “Thank you.” the wolf then stood up and walked over towards me and curled itself around me.

We stared eye to eye with each other for a moment before she gestured with her eyes for me to lay on her.

“Y—you sure?” it nodded again.  Hesitantly I lay back down and felt this warmth suddenly embrace me.  I buried my fingers deep within the white wolf’s fur as well as my nose.  It reminded me back to when I would bury myself in my mother’s breast whenever I felt sad or alone.

With Abu and Lulu soon cuddling back into the white wolf’s fur the three of us soon fell into a deep sleep once more.

I don’t know how long it had been since we fell asleep but when I did a miracle had happened.  First thing was that I could finally feel my fingers, face, and legs again. It was almost as if I hadn’t even been out in the cold at all.

Another thing was that I heard the happy chitters from Abu who was hugged Carpet!?

“Carpet!?” Carpet turned towards me and mimed out a cheer as he came up to me and wrapped himself around me in a hug.  “How did you get here?” he then mimed out how he had asked Freddie to send him here to us shortly after Paul had sent us away. “Freddie sent you?” he nodded. “We’ve got to get to Agrabah and fast, can you get us there in time?”

He saluted and laid himself horizontal and Abu quickly hopped on while I picked up Lulu and set her on top of Carpet.  I then turned towards the wolf and bowed my head in respect.

“Thank you—for saving our lives.” As I got on top of Carpet, I heard a soft, warm female voice speak up.

‘My son will be lucky to have you as his bride, my dear (Y/n).’ I stopped in my spot and quickly turned back towards the wolf. It did a soft blink at me and I know it sounds crazy but I swear it gave me a soft smile.

“Wait—are you…….” the white wolf slowly nodded again before throwing back it’s head and letting out a proud howl before suddenly disappearing from our sights.  Abu and Lulu chattered to each other and I felt my heart swell and tears formed in my eyes. “Thank you…….Queen Lillian.”

I turned back around and fully got on top of Carpet and told him to get to Agrabah as fast as possible.  Soon we were out of that frozen wasteland.

When we got back to Agrabah I was in shock of how my home was now.  The village was practically burnt to the ground, structures of homes had crumbled down, and there was hardly anyone in the town square.  

Up ahead the palace that once was a gleam of prospect and honor now looked like something out of a dark story.  It’s spiked walls stood like a warning to stay away or face impalement.

Carpet landed us down into the Market place and there I saw Shanti, an old childhood friend of mine before we grew apart. Myself, Abu, Lulu and Carpet ducked behind a cabbage cart and I let out a psst towards her.  She stopped her walking and that’s when she turned to me.

“(Y/n)?”

“Shanti what’s happened here? Where is everyone?” She looked around before coming up towards me.

“Prince John is scheduled to be executed in ten minutes.” What?! “Ever since that—Irishman took the throne and gained those powers, he’s imprisoned half the people of Agrabah. Those that remained he’s chosen to enslave the men while the women are forced to watch as Prince John is executed.”

“Oh Allah help us.”

“If you’re planning on doing something, you better do it fast.”

“Hey I’m a street mouse remember? I’ve always got a plan.”

“What was that?” I heard a guard’s voice proclaim out.

“I think I heard it from over there.”

“Go now! I’ll distract them.” I nodded then the four of us quickly raced through the labyrinth of the city up towards the palace.  Abu chattered at me as he hopped up onto my shoulder.

“Yeah you’re right I don’t have a plan. But there’ll be time to come up with one. Just give me some time.” Hopping over walls and whatever buildings were left standing, I snuck my way into the palace.

Praying that I wouldn’t be too late.

*3rd Person POV*

As the dawn began to rise, John sat there in his cell silent and still.  The doors soon unlocked and there stood four of Paul’s guards.

“It’s time.” Spoke one rough looking Irish guard with a scar over his left eye.  The other three guards unlocked John from his chains and with him at the center, the guards led him to where he would be executed.

At the heart of the city just a short ways from the palace all the women of Agrabah were gathered around and they watched helplessly as Prince John was escorted through them.

“Nooooo!” a small female voice cried out.  Soon coming through the crowd of women was little Xara, the young girl who John first helped out when they arrived to Agrabah.

“Step aside brat!” a leaner guard with a beard demanded.

“Let him go! He’s a good Prince. He can’t die!”

“Last chance yah little rat step away or you’ll die first!”

“Don’t!” John commanded.  He knelt down to Xara’s height and she pleaded with him.

“Why must you die? Was it because you helped me with getting food?” John smiled softly at the young girl’s concern.

“No love. This—this is something else entirely. I……I’m protecting my family by doing this. Xara, I want you to promise me something. Don’t be sad for me, okay? Don’t cry for me, okay?”

“I’ll miss you Prince John.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.  John pressed his head against hers and whispered.

“And I you my dear.”

“Alright enough of this get this girl away from the traitor!” the leading guard spoke roughly.  Two of the guards then took Xara roughly by her arms and shoved her into the dirt.  Two women around Roger’s age soon came and took Xara back into the crowd. “Get up you!”

John glared up at the scarred faced guard as he was forced back to his feet and shoved forward.  He soon arrived before a platform stage.

Up already on the stage he could see his father and uncles in one cage, while on the other end Roger, Brian and Jim were either tied or chained (in Roger’s case) to pillars.  Soon coming up onto the stage was Paul Prenter with Iago on his shoulder and Freddie close behind him.  John glared with pure hatred at the Sorcerer King of England.  In his hand Paul held a long dagger with a snake encrusted hilt.

“Behold, the Silent Prince.” John’s glare harshened and it was then the guards stepped away allowing Freddie to slowly come down towards John.  Freddie’s eyes shined with pure regret and pain as he stared down at the young prince he had come to befriend.  He looked up towards Paul who gave him a soft nod and a harsh glare.

Closing his eyes, Freddie delivered a hard punch right into John’s gut sending him straight down to the ground, curling in agony and even coughing up bits of blood.  

Some cries of horror came out from the women and King Arthur pleaded for his son while Brian, Roger and Jim struggled against their bonds, helplessly trying in vain to break free.

Meanwhile from a far point of where the execution was happening at the top of a building, (Y/n), Abu, Lulu and Carpet all stood there in horror.  When (Y/n) saw Freddie punch John to the ground she let out a gasp.

“Why aren’t you fighting back John?”

“Bind him to the cross!” With his magic, Freddie then brought out the large cross that John was to be condemned to till death. Once it was lay down, Paul’s guards soon came in and forced John onto the cross.

They bound his feet together and forced his arms to each side point of the cross before tying them up as well.  One of the guards soon produced the nails that would soon go into John’s hands, chest, hips and feet.  He positioned one nail to John’s right hand and he was just about to drive the nail in when Paul exclaimed.

“Wait!” John, who had his eyes shut prepping for the worst, opened his eyes in shock only to hear Paul continue. “Let him first be stripped and shaved.” Iago then flew straight over to John and took a strand of his hair and pulled it right off of his head.

As Iago now held a long, thick strand of John’s hair, the guards soon surrounded John as they either cut off his long hair or stripped him of his clothes.  Hair and fabric was soon seen flying about till finally John was in nothing but his underwear, and his hair was now cut to the point where it looked like he just had a tuff of hair left on his head.

“Bring him to me.” Paul spoke out.  Then working together, the guards dragged the cross along the dirt up towards the platform.  The slowly they dragged the cross up the stairs before finally pulling it horizontally which forced John to now dangle against the cross as a height of over 9ft.

Cries of women were heard as some of them were pleading for Allah to stop this barbaric act but they were silenced by Paul’s guards.  Roger and Brian screaming profanities at Paul, and John’s father pleading for his son’s life.  With a wave of his hand, Paul soon silenced everyone.

From up on the rooftop, (Y/n) then turned to Abu, Lulu and Carpet.

“Okay I’ve got a plan. But it needs to happen right now. Quickly and quietly. Abu take off your hat and fez. We can’t afford Paul’s guards to recognize you.” I helped him take off his vest while he handed his fez to me. “Alright here’s what I need you guys to do……” I then began whispering the plan to them.

Back on the platform, the guard who held the nails for the cross handed them over to Paul.  He took them before levitating himself up towards John.  He cupped the side of the now broke Prince’s face and he whispered to him.

“You know John, I’m rather disappointed in you. Did you honestly think that through all this I would spare your family’s life? You’re giving me your life and saving no one.” He let out an icy scoff. “So much for love.”

It was then John did something that Paul never expected him to do.  John spat right into his face.

Paul reared his head back and looked down at his cheek to see John’s saliva right in his palm.  As he turned towards the English Prince all he saw was pure hatred. His upper lip in a sneer as it trembled with anger, his eyes burning like Hell’s fire with rage.  It was like looking at his lion Nala when she gets protective over her master.

Paul dried the spit along his robe and sneered right in John’s face.

“I’m going to enjoy burning Brian like the witch he is and gutting Roger like a codfish. I’m letting you take the easy way out. Remember that as you burn in Hell.” He backed away from John and raised the three nails up with his powers, each aiming for either his hands or his chest.

From down below Roger continued to struggle through his chains still trying to free himself.

“Roger it’s no use. The odds of you actually breaking free of those chains are—”

“Spare me your logic Brian! Are you seriously giving up right now!? That’s our brother up there and he’s going to die!” Roger hissed lowly at him.  Brian was silent.

“I’m just……I don’t see any point of us getting out of here alive. Paul’s too powerful. With Freddie at his side, he has all the power in the world.” Roger looked down solemnly.

“Well I’m not going down like this. Not without a fight. Man I wish at this point I had gotten the ropes like you and Jim instead of these chains.” It was then Roger felt a weight on his shoulders.  He turned and saw a monkey sitting on top of him.

“The one thing I never really got about this country is how the monkeys just freely think it’s okay to hop on top of you.” Jim said.

“No wait, wait.” Roger said as the monkey now hopped into his lap. “Abu? Abu is that you?” the monkey saluted as he gave the blonde haired prince a monkey grin.

“Wait, if he’s here then that means……” Brian softly whispered.

“(Y/n)? She’s alive?” Abu then revealed a chain of keys that were attached to his tail.

“Alright atta boy Abu, now quickly unlock me out of these bloody things.” Abu went behind Roger and began fiddling around with the locks.

Jim then felt something beginning to untie his ropes.  He felt the sharp teeth and slight claw piercings from two very familiar creatures. When he turned around there were Simba and Nala trying to untie his feet and hands.

“Alright cubs. Nicely done.” Brian soon felt something tickle across his fingers and nuzzle his palm.  When he turned around there was his badger Lulu.

“Oh Lulu. I was worried I’d never see you again. Did you get sent away with (Y/n) and Abu?” Lulu gave a gentle grunt as she continued chewing on her father’s bonds.

Finally all three of them were free from their bonds. But to keep up the façade for Paul and his guards, they remained sitting with their hands around the pillars and their feet remaining crossed together.

“We’ve got to get Freddie’s lamp away from Paul. I read somewhere that whoever holds the genie’s lamp becomes their new master.” Jim said.

“Alright. Now to figure out how to get that lamp away from him exactly.” Brian said.  Abu hopped back on top of Roger’s shoulder and he chattered softly while pointing to the sky.  Roger looked up and saw the magic Carpet with (Y/n) riding on top of it.

“Abu says they’ve already hatched a plan. We just need to wait for the right moment.”

Paul kept his eyes on John and he proclaimed out loud so that everyone could hear.

“WITNESS FIRST HAND! TO THOSE THAT APPOSE ME SHALL MEET THE SAME FATE AS THE FORMER PRINCES!!! And in that knowledge, despair, and DI—” suddenly Paul was knocked straight to the ground by a powerful force.

When he looked up he saw (Y/n) on the magic Carpet and she flew straight to John and untied him from the cross.

*My POV*

After ramming my elbow behind Paul’s back, Carpet flew right to John and I untied him from the cross.  He fell forward and he looked up at me in confusion.

“You—you’re alive?”

“Yeah and so are you. Come on we have to get back Paul away from the people of Agrabah. Alright Carpet take us down to the rest of the team.”

Carpet flew us down and we came down to Brian, Roger, Jim, as well Abu, Simba and Nala (who were now baby lions. Must’ve been Paul’s doing), and Lulu.

“Get on quick!”

“But what about our fathers?” questioned Brian.

“Never mind us son.” His father King Harold cried out. “Just get that demon away from these people. We’ll be fine.” Brian nodded to his father and everyone aborded Carpet.  Carpet then took off for the palace.

When we got there, we landed at the roof of the palace and I could soon see Paul flying towards us.

“Here he comes!” I proclaimed.

“What’s the plan (Y/n)?” asked Roger.

“Get the lamp away from Paul.” I told them. “Abu, you managed to get the lamp away from him before, think you can do it again?” he chattered as he saluted and quickly ran behind a few of the vases as Paul landed before us.  I could see the glimmer of the lamp at his hip as he said to me.

“As Roger said earlier, it would’ve been wise for you to pack up and fuck off.”

“Takes more than a little cold weather to kill me.” I sassed at him.

“I can see that. No matter. You and the Princes will die. This time I won’t go for the dramatics this time.”

“Yeah cause God knows your full of it.” Roger sassed. Paul glared at Roger and that’s when I noticed Abu making his way towards Paul.  C’mon pal you got this.

“Tell me something Paul, was all of this really worth it?” I asked him.  He tilted his head slightly in confusion. “All this power? You’re not the only one whose had a taste of genie magic. Believe me I tried and—and failed at what I had longed for the most.” I turned to solemnly look at John who looked at me with sad eyes. “It only satisfies you to a point, but there will always be a hole left in your heart. You’ll never truly be satisfied. No matter how much power you gain.”

“See unlike you peasant I am King of all England. I am the greatest sorcerer who ever lived. I can take down kingdoms. Countries! I will build an empire that history cannot ignore!” I saw Abu reach for the lamp but suddenly he was grabbed in a choke hold by Paul.  He lifted Abu up, who was struggling in his grasp, I went to help him but Jim and Brian held me back. “Clever monkey. But I’ve grown tired of your thieving antics!”  He then tossed Abu over the balcony and I heard him scream.

“NOO ABU!!” At that point Simba and Nala raced towards Paul and began biting and clawing at his ankles.  While he was distracted, Roger made his move and tackled Paul to the ground.

As the two of them struggled, Roger somehow managed to get the lamp unhooked from Paul’s sash.  I then watched as Nala grabbed the handle with her mouth and quickly race over to me.

“OH NO YOU DON’T YOU LITTLE PEST!!” I watched as lightning began to spark from his hand and he went to fire a shot.  But before he could get a good aim on Nala, her brother Simba pounced on Paul’s face and scratched him as rapidly as he could.

The bolt of lightning struck the floor underneath her and she was sent flying in the air.  I quickly followed underneath her and caught her just before she could fall over the edge just like Abu did.  

I flung myself over the balcony and quickly wrapped my legs around one of the flag poled underneath the balcony and swung myself forward in order to catch Nala as she fell right towards me.

But unfortunately the lamp fell out of her mouth and went tumbling down the side of the palace.  But all that mattered to me right now was me and Nala not falling off and dying.  I held Nala close to my chest and her claws dug into my clothes, slightly piercing my skin.

I hissed in pain as I swung myself upward in order to grab onto the flagpole so that we weren’t upside down anymore.

Using my skills as a street mouse, I managed to get us on top of the flagpole and gripped onto the edge of the palace and climbed up.  All the while Nala clinging onto me until a hand came into view.  I took it and was soon pulled up into John’s face.  Our noses briefly grazing across one another’s. He helped me back over the balcony and Nala hopped into his arms nuzzling into his bare chest making those loving lion meows.

“Ahh true love.” Paul’s voice soon rang out. “It does always seem to conquer all doesn’t it? But not this time, in fact it would seem your time is up Princess.” Using his snake staff he then shot a blast towards me but I was shoved out of the way.

When the smoke cleared I soon saw John in a very large hourglass.  I shook my head at him in shock as the sand from on top began to pour down on him.

“Alright that’s it! No more mister nice guy!” I heard Roger snap as he withdrew his sword.  He did a battle cry as he charged right for Paul who retorted back at him.

“I agree, but let’s do that without your constant bitching Roger.” With a flick of his hand, Roger suddenly dropped to the floor and turned into a small dog.  He began barking a high pitched bark and when he found out he couldn’t speak normally anymore, his ears lowered before barking again.

“Roger!” Brian proclaimed.

“Don’t think I didn’t forget you Brian. You could use a little unraveling don’t you think?” with a point of his snake staff, Brian suddenly exploded into a ravel of streams.  Jim and I looked toward each other and he raced towards me. “I don’t think so Jim, you need to really get the point of where your placement is.”

Jim was then trapped in a wall of swords.  I raced towards him as Paul laughed manically. I spotted Roger’s sword and quickly grabbed it and charged at Paul.

“Oh and I’m just getting warmed up for you lass.” He soon blew fire right out of his mouth which trapped me in a wall of fire.

“Roger was right about you Prenter! You’re too much of a cowardly snake to fight your own battles!”

“A snake am I?” Paul suddenly appeared from through the flames. “Perhaps you’d like to see how ssss-SNAKE LIKE I CAN BE!!!” suddenly Paul began to morph into a giant cobra.

His hood expanded menacingly as his long forked tongue hissed at me aggressively.  The wall of fire soon began the rest of his body, Paul towered over me before striking down at me with lightning speed.

I quickly dodged his attack but Paul quickly swirled around me, lowering himself slightly before doing another quick strike at me.  Then another, and another.  I jumped out of the way each time then when he came down for one last strike, I used Roger’s sword and actually cut him across his face which caused him to rear back and hiss in agony.

From the room inside I could hear Roger barking frantically, almost like he was cheering.

“You stay out of thissss!” Paul hissed.  Roger growled and that’s when Lulu came behind him and dragged him behind the tail underneath the bed.  Soon flying in after the whole battle came about was Carpet.

He landed in front of me and I quickly got on top of him and he flew me above Paul’s strike range, but he soon managed to cut some of Carpet’s thread up.

“Carpet no!” As we soon began falling back towards the palace, Paul struck out again and this time began tearing Carpet thread by thread which left me to slide down Paul’s snake body.

Hoping to stop him from tearing Carpet up anymore, as I slide, I used Roger’s sword and allowed it to cut almost halfway across his body which caused Paul to scream in utter agony.  When I reached the roof once again, I saw that John was almost practically buried in the hourglass sand.  His head being the only thing sticking out.

I dropped the sword and quickly grabbed a bit of stone from where Paul had struck Nala at earlier and raced over to John.

“JOHN HANG ON!!” I reached the hourglass but before I could slam it against the glass, I was soon wrapped up in snake coils. I was then lifted up and a cackling Paul stood over me.

“Pathetic woman. You thought you could defeat the most powerful. Being. On Earth!?” I then saw as his bird Iago came flying in with the lamp in his grasp.

“Genie should witness.” Iago squawked out.  Paul sneered and extended his tail and rubbed the lamp which soon released Freddie.  He looked around at everything in confusion and shock when he saw me.

“Face it girl. Without Freddie, you’re nothing!” I was squeezed tighter.  I grunted in pain as I felt my ribs ready to snap.  As I looked to Freddie he looked broken as he showed me his gauntlets.

Wait. That’s it!

“That maybe so. But who made you a King?” Paul’s hissing ceased as he just stared at me. “Who made you a sorcerer? You may have power beyond mortal comprehension Paul Prenter. But there will always be some man, some being more powerful than you! Freddie gave you these powers, and he can take it way just as easily.”

I turned to see Freddie shaking his head at me. Paul squeezed me tighter to the point where my voice was now strained.

“Face it Paul Prenter…..when all is said in done…..you’re still just……Second best!”

“Second! Second!?” Iago squawked.  Paul’s hissing grew deeper as he snarled out.

“SECOND!? HE SERVES ME!!!” Suddenly I was released and fell to the ground.  I let out a gasp of air before coughing harshly.

“You said it yourself…..you’re either the most powerful man in the room……or you’re nothing.” As Paul soon morphed back into himself, I turned to see Freddie who was now smirking.

He looked at me now getting what I was saying and sent a wink my direction.

“I’ll show you. I’ll show all of you. I will ensure that NO ONE EVER SAYS THOSE WORDS AGAIN!!!” He took the lamp and turned towards Freddie and proclaimed. “Freddie. For my final wish, I wish to become the most powerful being in the universe. More powerful than you!”

Freddie softly tutted to himself as he said.

“Lot of grey area in that wish Paul but—the most powerful being in the Universe, coming right up!” with a wave of his arms black smoke began to surround Paul as he laughed manically.

While he was distracted, I quickly raced back towards the hourglass.  I slammed the bottom twice before it finally broke and sand began pouring out.  John soon began coughing out sand as he stared up at me.

“What have you done?” he choked out.

“Trust me.” I told him as I held onto him.  When the black smoke subsided, there Paul stood as a genie.  Black and red smoke surrounded him as his thunderous voice spoke down to me.

“THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE. AT LAST!!! SECOND TO NO ONE!!! AND I THOUGHT I HAD POWER BEFORE!!” He said as he looked down at his hands which were igniting with lightning. “FIRST I WILL LAY WASTE TO YOU TWO SO THAT YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME AGAIN!!!!”

He then let out a powerful cry as he grew bigger and bigger and a ball of lightning began to form in his hands ready to strike.

However a gauntlet came onto his left forearm which stopped him from using his powers.

As it weighed down his arm, his right forearm soon had a gauntlet on it as well.  Paul looked down at me with pure hatred as he hissed at me.

“What have you done to me?!”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!?!?” He roared again.

“This was your wish Paul Prenter. Not mine. For you see a genie may have phenomenal cosmic powers,”

“But an itty bitty living space.” Freddie spoke. Paul turned to Freddie as he continued, “And you see a genie without a master, goes back in their lamp.”

Paul’s face grew with horror.  For it was then a black genie lamp appeared underneath him and he was slowly being sucked into it.  Paul fought as hard as he could and he threatened to both John and I.

“I WILL NOT FORGET THIS GIRL!! DO YOU HEAR ME!? WHEN I COME BACK I WILL END YOU AND THE PRINCES FOR LIFE!!!”

“Goodbye Paul.” His parrot spoke as he flew away.

“PARROT!! YOU’RE COMING WITH ME!!” he then grabbed Iago and soon the two of them disappeared inside the lamp.

John looked at me and he said.

“You knew that would happen?”

“Indeed she did. Oh (Y/n) darling you are a clever little minx you!” Freddie cheered as he ruffled my hair.

#john deacon #john deacon x reader #john deacon imagine #john deacon imagines #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody fanfiction #bohemian rhapsody imagine #bohemian rhapsody x reader #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #brian may x reader #freddie mercury x reader #roger taylor x reader #queen #queen band #queen imagine #queen imagines #queen fandom #queen x reader #queen fanfic #queen fanfiction #rami malek!freddie mercury x reader #rami malek!freddie mercury #ben hardy!roger taylor x reader #ben hardy!roger taylor #joe mazzello!john deacon #joe mazzello!john deacon x reader

[wt4kmm]

WATER

We don’t even talk about death--cause dying ain’t gotta be done today

We not ready to die--we keep just getting this started

Our audacity surfaces as the blueprint

And the blueprints are the maps

Domestic & internationally

The faces of every person that died already--are surfacing everywhere

--as the blueprint to rebuild the bricks of this dynasty--

Breath...easy

This is survival of the fittest

We are the off springs of the fittest

The Victors of the Fitters

Breathe

Easy

These answers are for the questions we can’t afford to be scared to ask no more

I saw my greatest great great grandmother for the first time in a dream last night

We had the same pair of eyes--kinfolk

She fed me without fire

Designed me amour--adornining me without a needle and thread--but water and air

After going to sleep off of ginger water--

She reminded me of living & protection

That we are the new --we are the improved

that we should do something about staying here a little longer

“Y’all be so gung-ho-to go”

grandmother water speaks

“You have never belonged on the bandwagon anyway--the ride been too full--with an emptiness too foreign to the map and design of you. Woman Child, eagle, fire bird,, way maker flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood that disguises itself in the crevices of the wind--winter is blessed--you are chosen-and you should do something about staying here a little longer--there’s honor in dying for something but you become a different type of giant when when you don’t die when you’re supposed to--when it’s written--there’s no eraser. ”

I spoke back:

“It’s not that we really ready to die--

it’s just sometimes a lot goes into breathing—a lot of us ain’t done catching our breaths--a lot of us don’t know how to--a lot of us just know how to run --how to try to catch up--

if we all not standing in the circle holding hands--the magic won’t work

The broom will beat us up and the doors will open & shut without a hand on it-- the windows will break on its own the curtains will tangle us all up--

“That’s what happens when you try to catch up where you aren’t in the running”

She said worry about yourselves

She told me to stop to remember we are the alchemist of the sun--the function of the moon

the highest and the lowest points of truth & illusion

She asked “ever seen a watermelon destroy a volcanic fire?” we control where 92% of that water goes.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I’m from this

Round

Yellow

Brown

Crown

Oak

Purple

Heavy

Dark  Brown

Dark and Black

Dark and Bright

*x2*

Never see through

while burning and never the same when shit hits the fan

Or a son hits the ground--or a daughter who doesn’t make it to tomorrow when all she was doing was laying down & Olu I think of your face everyday I look at mine in the mirror or in the wind when it’s late and I’m walking under dark trees--praying I don’t run into anyone who doesn't know that their trauma is mine too---hope he makes his mind up to see me & see the best parts of his mother

I’m from women who will talk you into the color: calm

While with a head full of chaos like a bullet bubbling  in a barrel of a gun

Palms sweating--jittery off of coffee, making it happen, and 4 hours of sleep

Somehow cool—women maintain

We still get up and we feed the babies

I come from this

Stepping out of women

Spread thick across their own worlds like lotuses

Who on one shoulder

had the world on it

Who

On the other shoulder

Balanced the heaven in her head as simple as a “goddamn break” from trying catch up & the one Jesus tells her has pearly gates

--balances hell

like imaginary shapes she hides from herself to keep herself

never lost, for as sure as her hands stir the pot--there’s food

Sweet potatoes 36 ways

We are the women of the sun and the moon--we are the belly of a compass

Pickpocketing stars & rent money

We make a way out of no way--

10 dollars stretch against her bra & breast & lasting for weeks

Born into--

Women who use improvisation to become masters

Born into the challenge and the victory

Women who sit themselves out on cliffs to jump

and not die

Women who talk to God in classrooms

And practice him on athletic fields--and in the parking lot

We get audacity from grandmothers.

Working up the nerve as grand as 10,000 armies like a grandmother

Pot full of beans filling us for weeks --like Charlotte

Grandma would buy 1 whole chicken

Cook it and we’d have soup, lunchmeat, chicken & rice

Charlotte would spread it thin like she had 8 legs

Turns out she just has powers

9 lives like porch cats

My grandmother mean if that’s what you wanna call audacity

but she’ll give you and your kids her shirt if it’s cold

a house if it’s raining

if you standing outside barefoot

she’ll give you her shoes

It's audacity that makes up our rarest form of magic and magicians who look like us

Handmade by God disguised as Grandmothers

Mine made home fries & salmon cakes with sardines

Hardly ever baked, goods from scratch

Just payed home insurance

with formulas and rubrics in her sweat glands

Ever-y uphill--fight--counts more than any downhill fall

Deliberately she is made up solely of delivering herself

Mother

saves them all

Mother

Mother

save them all

I am from who gets scared of her own reflection

But remains a fact

up front

At attention

These mothers don’t take orders

But scriptures

And surahs--not in binded leather but in blue skies and blue water

Fingertips stitched with electricity and intuition

‘And that mine eyes are ever toward the Lord; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net’

And that “All dominions of heaven and earth belongs to Allah, he gives life and causes death’

Before hash-tagged, women who are

Yemaya and Oshun in spirit and in flesh

Who before the tabernacle was invented knows where the scriptures were stolen from in place of our land

creates justice,

gives justice,

is justice in the eyes

Of herself, without flash

Women who revere on foot

Who don’t know nothing about counting no money

but  makes it all the way to three hundred and sixty  

On foot--not using her hands & without a shadow of a doubt

The first one to choir rehearsal

And they all; always the last to leave--caught up in the ritual of praise; the holy ghost of the music who lurk in foyers & tambourines

When the lights go out

The women I come from rub their hands together like Birdman for fire, heat for the house

laugh and sing until there’s a rumble in the walls

Wash each others feet in lukewarm water

Chant,

Quote

Dance

Pray—

Sing loudly

while steadily bleeding

They laugh loudly together

Cause the blood...falling on them

Woman, I’m grateful for your mothership

Your chariots of  rainbows

Whether in black and white or in color

Woman, your colors have turned darkness into day

I’ve never gotten the truth from the bible that I didn’t have to cross reference

With you as my study

You make me believe in the glare they said wasn't mine but I know it belongs to me

You are the reading rainbow of common sense

I’m breathing in your sacrifices

inhaling your truth --  I'm not just making it through

My life here, is an ode to you

I have turned into God, for you

I will challenge everything I do not believe as the truth

I will follow myself into any abyss--if the spirit uses me so

I will combat what was taught me— find it for myself

I will bring back what I have gathered and teach you to let go of the cross

And except your winnings as the ones you worked for

Challenging you to see yourself as God

Because woman you are my source

One could only create another

You deserve more than flowers woman you deserve to live

I will, in your honor, reach higher, lotus

For you--I will make a paradise out of birds--gamble everything where truth sees fittest

I will stand statuesque like two moose making love where plain eyes see fighting

She asked:

If a circle is solid, is it full or empty?

#poetry #poet #revolution #blackart #blackwriters #woman #blackwoman #writing #literature #culture #mothership #spirit #blackcreatives #blackcreators #artist #writers

[annisamalahayy11]

A Letter of Hope

by : Aida Azlin

Ya Allah, I know You are here. Can I tell you a secret?

I’m extremely exhausted. And I’m anxious and nervous, and incredibly afraid.

This Dunia tires me, drains me, and uses me again, and again.

Please tell me that all of my efforts, and all of my struggles, and all of my work, will all be worth it?

And You re-assured me, saying:

Surely the Hereafter is much better for you than the present life. And surely your Lord will soon give you so amply that you will be well-pleased. (Quran 93:4–5)

* A smile starts to curve on my damp face as I remind myself that yes, this Dunia, and all it’s pain, and all it’s hurt, and all the sadness, and worries of this world is but, temporary.

“This too shall pass, Aida.”

—

But my heart wasn’t done. So she murmured, again:

Ya Allah, I know You are here. Can I tell you another secret?

My facade is slowly breaking, Ya Rabb. I don’t know how long more I can stay composed, I don’t know how long more till all my weaknesses get exposed. And even though I put my best foot and my best face forward every single morning, You will know that some nights I’ll just end up drowning.

I’ll still keep on striving, and I’ll still try to hang on, even if it be by a thread. but I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Ya Allah.

Will You please send Help? Will you please fix my endless haphazard affairs?

And again, You consoled me by saying:

Certainly, the Help of Allah is near! (Quran 2:214)

and

Put your trust in Allah, enough is Allah as a disposer of affairs. (Quran 33:3)

* Relieved, my heartbeat steadied. I could feel a sense of hope being re-ignited in my tiny, tiny, heart once again.

His Help is near, Aida, and surely He knows what He’s doing.

Because if Allah, the One and Only, the One who created me, the Very Reason why I exist, Who gave me the air and the body and the mind and the heart that I have, is telling me that whatever He decrees and has allowed to happen to me is the best for me, then who am I to disagree?

Who am I to say that Allah made a mistake?

Who am I but dust?

—

Wanting more, my heart spoke again:

Ya Allah, I know You are here. Can I tell you one more secret?

I am not quite sure if I belong anywhere, Ya Rabb. None of the places I’ve been to feels quite like “home” -

I don’t quite understand the language, and I don’t look quite like everyone else neither.

And there are days when it gets so eerily dark and quiet. While nights are even harder as I’m crippled by an overwhelming sense of loneliness.

So I’m pleading to You, Ya Rabb, will You please tell me that I’m not alone, and that very, very soon, I’ll be coming “Home “ to You?

And You relieved my ache by saying,

Fear not, verily! I am with you, hearing and seeing. (Quran 20:46)

and

For those whose hopes are in the meeting with Allah (in the Hereafter), let them strive. For the term (appointed) by Allah is surely coming and He hears and knows all things. (Quran 29:5)

* Alright then, My Beloved. I will continue to strive.

Because as much as I Miss You, and as much as I want to return to You, I know that my deeds are so meager and insignificant. Please continue to shower me with Your immense Love + Mercy, Ya Rabb. As without those, I know I won’t be able to survive, yet alone thrive.

—

Finally soothed, my heart spoke one last time amidst the quiet slumber of the night.

Ya Allah, I know You are here. Can I tell you one final secret?

The whispers are loud, and they are daunting and they ring through my mind. I shush them with your Words, and I drown them with the remembrance of You, but some nights, they get really loud, and they ring through my ears, and no matter how hard I try to fight it, these whispers are persistent.

But I now know that there’s only so much that I can do on my own.

So I’m down to my knees, Ya Rabb, and in desperation and in a state of weakness, I crawl back to You.

Because You are the Only One who will save me. And You are the Only One who will hold me. And You are the Only One who will protect me.

So I’m supplicating to You, Ya Allah, Will You please, make things slightly easier? And will You promise to always hear the whispers of my heart, and to never, ever, ever, let me go?

To this, You comforted me by saying,

Whether you keep your words secret or state them openly, He knows the contents of every heart.

How could He, who created, not know His own creation, when He is the Most Subtle, the All Aware? (Quran 67:13–14) * This Ayah opened up the floodgates for me. My heart trembled as it felt a Love that knows no bounds, a Love that doesn’t want anything in return, a Love that doesn’t judge, and a Love that is so incredibly Gentle, yet Powerful, all at once.

The most purest of Love, yet I, a flawed, selfish, arrogant human being, was at the receiving end.

Finally, You promised me by saying:

Allah guides those who pursue His pleasure to the ways of peace and brings them out from darknesses into the light. (Quran 5:16)

* And with that, my heart was embraced by a sense of ease, that she has never, ever felt before.

I slowly breathed a sigh of relief, and as my eyes eventually closed, a final tear descended.

And it was in that moment, that my tiny, but beating, and striving heart whispered,

“You will be OK, Aida. You will be more than OK.”