#I mean he didn't even seem fazed when shit went down | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands · 9 months

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Hey, i am the one who requested the slaxl story: yea I meant axl telling Izzy about slash, sorry if that was unclear😅 I respond you this way cause I'm sure how I can comment under your post😭 (new on Tumblr)

Okay so a year has passed since this ask (ops) and I am so sorry, but between uni and anything I've never got the chance to finish it until now. I hope you'll enjoy it :)

Izzy's POV

The clock read 3 a.m when a loud bang on the door woke Izzy up. The guitarist almost wanted to laugh, considering that he decided to go to sleep earlier for once but destiny had other plans for him. He settled on ignoring the noise however it just kept going.

“Go away!” He yelled, hoping that the fucker would give up.

“Izzy, pleaseeee open up!” Axl's voice pleaded.

“Go harass Duff, he’s probably still awake.”

He might have been Axl’s childhood best friend but it didn’t mean he had to deal with his shit, especially when he just wanted to sleep and nothing would change that not even the grip forming in his heart due the guilt.

“Please Izzy, I need your help.”

Izzy wanted to say no and go back to sleep or pretend to until Axl would have left him alone, but something inside him urged him to listen to his friend. More than once he found himself calming the redhead back to sleep or allowing him to let his emotions out, especially for Axl and the whole band’s sake.

Reluctantly he stood up, his hands curled up in fists for a second and promising himself that he would make sure to let the other man know he owned him. When he opened the door, he was relieved to see Axl's face still intact however his glossy eyes had some red in them that couldn’t only be because of the alcohol.

“What do you want, shithead?” He asked unceremoniously.

“I need your help, Izzy.”

“Yeah, you kind of said that already. So are you going to repeat that all night or are you giving a good enough reason why you’re knocking on my door at 3 a.m.?”

“Okay, so do you know Slash?” Axl sounded completely serious which made Izzy almost let out a hysterical laugh. He couldn't help but arch his eyebrows at how Axl was tiptoeing around the subject, even if he was more surprised about how he still hadn't pushed him out of his room. His stomach lurched at the thought he was becoming soft.

“You mean Slash, our guitarist, the one we have known for a year now?” His sarcasm was bitter but it didn’t seem to faze Axl.

“Yeah.. me and Slash did something…”

Izzy rolled his eyes. As much as he wanted to strangle Axl to make him spill the beans, a part of him didn’t want to know what those idiots did because it meant getting involved and he wasn't ready to bail Slash out of jail again, even if deep down he loved them. Before saying anything he sighed, letting out all the anger from his voice because he had learned long ago that it was pointless.

“Something illegal?”

“No, well maybe it’s immoral for some people. My step dad would have found it such but technically it’s not illegal.”

The guitarist forgot that if Axl normally would talk for hours, while drunk he would do that even more while making zero sense. Something so wonderful when he just wanted to sleep.

“Axl, please just tell me what the hell you two have done!”

“Me and Slash went on a date, okay?!”

Izzy’s eyes widened in surprise. The sexual tension between Axl and Slash was obvious, the two were constantly hugging and teasing each other, however he didn’t think they would actually act on those feelings. Probably his tiredness didn't only close his eyes but his brain too, because he felt genuinely happy for them, even if the redhead’s tone told him the date didn’t go as planned.

“On a date? Damn, did you bite the bullet and ask him?”

“Well it wasn’t officially a date but we both knew it was.” Axl said, sounding just like a teenager.

Izzy's head started pulsing in anticipation of the cheesy story that was about to unfold, he would rather eat sand than having to listen to that but he doubted that pretending to faint could get away with not hearing the story. However, making his eyebrows arch was the reason Axl decided to come to him, usually Duff was the love advisor. Was it because he trusted him more? Or was it karma deciding to kick his ass by not making him able to get a good night of sleep?

“What’s wrong with the date?”

“Everything was cool and then he kissed me!” The singer spat those words almost like they were poison.

“You weren’t okay with that?” Izzy 's heart started to beat faster as rage slowly crept close to the surface. He was well aware of Axl’s past and how he didn’t take lightly people forcing on him, so it was only expected for him to go into his protective mode. Hell, if he discovered Slash had done something to Axl, he would have killed himself with his hands.

“No no, I wanted to but then I freak out because it made everything real! Because I really like him but we agreed to be friends with benefits and I don’t know what to do.” The redhead sniffled, hiding his face with his hair.

The guitarist's brain just shut down, unable to process a correct answer to give, he knew he needed to be honest but not too harsh, sympathetic yet realist. He just stayed silent for what seemed the longest time, Axl's eyes fixed on him like he had the answer to every problem of the universe, while Izzy was just digging through his brain for possible outcomes.

“Well isn’t it pointless to not be together if he likes you?”

"Well, you are already having sex. What's the problem?"

“Don’t worry about it, true love always wins.”

“Fucking hell Axl, it’s 3 in the morning and I just want to sleep.”

“Why don’t you talk with him tomorrow? When you are sober and not a crying mess. Just tell him you want to take things slow and time will tell.” He decided to set on, hoping it would work.

Axl tilted his head, pondering what Izzy said like a big truth about the secrets of the universe, and eventually he nodded in agreement. The other man's shoulder relaxed, maybe the universe was really rooting his way and spared him more Axl's tears and possible screams.

“You’re right. I just gotta wait and I’ll tell him and if doesn’t accept him, well fuck him!”

“Great, now why don’t you go back to your room and just sleep on all of this?” The black haired man suggested, almost taking his arm to direct him to the door. However a knock to the door made him groan in frustration, every ounce of diplomacy leaving his body at the prospect of having to deal with another of his bandmates.

“Whoever you are, you better get lost in the next five seconds or I will murder you.”

“Izzyyyy, I need your help.” Slash’s intoxicated voice replied.

Another drunk friend, as dealing with Axl wasn’t enough for him. The redhead’s eyes widened were a big tell that he was about to freak out and the guitarist didn’t know if he could handle him. Pinching his nose, he decided to take matters into his own hands before he had to bash his head against the wall, after all his hotel room wasn't a therapist's office.

“Slash, go to Duff. It isn’t really a good moment.” He yelled sternly.

“But I need you!”

“I’m going out of here.” Axl said, moving towards the window and prompting Izzy to throw his arm to block him.

“Fuck no! You will stay here and I’ll try to keep him out.” Izzy squeezed his shoulders in a calming way.

He opened the door just enough to see his band mate: clearly intoxicated, his eyes weren't red but they were darting all around and his fingers were playing with one of the bracelets he always wore. It was another prime example of a band mate in crisis, but to make everything worse, he didn't know Slash as much as he knew Axl.

"Slash, why don't you go to Duff?" He crossed his arms, hoping to scare him enough to discourage him from staying there.

"Because he can't understand... you know him better." Slash's curls automatically covered his face, but that didn't fool Izzy and only made his heart drop in defeat.

"Know who better?" He sounded as vague as possible, as if he couldn't hear Axl crawling on the floor and hiding in the bathroom.

"Axl. Look, I'm afraid that I freaked him out. I'm scared too, I get it but I need to gain his trust back."

Izzy rubbed his temples, the headache slapping him with such a force that he wished he could make him pass out, giving him a way out of this mess. He had another choice to make: should he tell Slash that Axl was there, and let them solve their problems? Or should he protect his friend and keep his mouth shut?

He tasted his pockets for cigarettes, probably they could have cleared his mind and corrupted Slash, making him gain some time. All of a sudden a loud noise made his hand fall against his side and a small curse came out his mouth, even Slash in his drunken stupor was attracted by the unusual sound.

"What's that noise?" A look of puzzlement crossed Slash's face.

"I was busy before you interrupted me." Izzy gestured vaguely, hopefully the other man was too drunk to question his lie.

"You never bring a girl into your room."

"Now what? Do you think you know what I do in my free time?" His face contorted in an annoyed expression.

It took all his self control to not ran outside the room and leave the two idiots with themselves, all this diplomacy was making him sick to his stomach. Slash's glossy eyes stared at him for a second, but he was too out of it to argue back, however right when he thought the situation was diffused, he heard the bathroom door opening.

Axl seemed to have sober up a bit, his face was clean of any sign of tears however his eyes quickly went down as soon as he caught a glimpse of Slash. On the other hand Slash seemed awkward, his mouth opened in slight surprise as Izzy could clearly see the gears in the other man's brain trying to come up with something but only resorting to silence.

"Hi Slash." The redhead said shyly.

"Were you hiding in the bathroom?"

Axl's face scrunched up for a moment and Izzy saw a familiar fire in his eyes that made him ready to step in if needed, but apparently the redhead's rational side seemed to win so he just took a deep breath and did not break Slash's nose to the delight of Izzy.

"I guess we need to talk."

Izzy's eyes bolted to both men as the tension was filling the air: Axl's confidence was gone as he kept looking around the room while Slash just stood still as he was waiting for the Earth to swallow him alive. Izzy wanted to leave the room but a look from childhood best friend's told him to stay.

"Look Axl, if you didn't like the kiss it's fine. I know we said to keep things casual-" Slash started but he was quickly interrupted.

"No, I liked the kiss. It's just a bit more complicated than that." Axl started to play with his bracelets, trying to find the right words.

"Oh..."

Izzy's hands hitched to butt the heads of his friends together, maybe that could help them be less oblivious. A sense of discomfort took over as he realized that he was just standing here, watching two people talking about their deepest feelings in front of a bandmate. He needed to do something so he headed towards the only window in his room to lit up a cigarette.

"I... I like you Slash, okay? But this shit ain't easy! I've never had feelings for a guy, I've been taught it was a sin."

"You like me?" Slash asked, with such a surprised tone that Izzy had to turn around to watch both of them.

"Yeah. I know I said "no feelings involved" but it happened."

Izzy watched Slash stumbling towards Axl and gently kissing him. For a moment Izzy's heartbeat got faster but Axl quickly reciprocated the kiss, making shame invade the guitarist's body.

"I'll be outside... try to not use my bed for "fun times" " He said but the other two man were too busy eating their faces to acknowledge him in any way.

Axl POV

Axl barely heard the door closing, he was too focused on how Slash's lip tasted like a whole bottle of Jack and a pack of cigarettes or how his hands were buried in the other man's curls, making Slash purring in his mouth. Quickly their lips weren't gently touching anymore but smashing against each other, the air uncomfortably getting trapped in his lungs and his cheeks turning red.

"I'm taking this forward, okay? Tell me to stop whenever you don't feel up to it anymore." Slash said and Axl nodded, his face relaxing at the thought of having a choice.

Slash's hand traveled to Axl's shirt, his finger played with the hems without actually lifting it while their feet were subconsciously leading them towards the bed. The same bed Izzy forbidden them to touch. Axl tugged Slash's shirt, hating his moment of clarity because he wanted nothing more than to keep kissing, but the other man didn't budge.

"Slash?"

"Mh?" He said, interrupting the kiss.

"Izzy would kill us if we touched his bed." Slash sighed and stepped away from Axl. "But maybe we can continue in your room." The redhead added.

Slash's lips immediately turned into a smirk but he hesitated for a minute.

"So we are officially more than fuck buddies? Because I can't deal with another run like the one we had before, I thought you were going to take a plane or kill me!"

"Yes, we are. I might take some time but I promise."

Axl felt Slash's hand on his, squeezing it reassuringly and the cold metal of his ring gave him a weird sense of comfort, he couldn't explain it but it just felt like Slash. He let him guide him to the door as fear slowly left his body.

Izzy's POV

He sat against the door, his head pounding and his eyes tired which was so fucking stupid because everything was solved, there was no need for his body to be so dramatic. He pondered about resting,not sleeping, just to see if it eased the pain of his head.

"Izzy?" The voice was far away but he just ignored it. He was so close to drift away when the voice came back again and louder.

"Izzy!" It sounded familiar but his brain was too exhausted to match any face to the voice.

"I'm sleeping, leave me alone." He replied.

The sound of steps only lasted a couple of seconds before he felt someone sitting next to him, all his reflexes were apparently dull because he didn't react at all. A strong smell of cigarettes and a very specific cologne hit his nostrils and revealed the mysterious man.

"Duff, what are you doing here?" He said, giving up and opening his eyes.

Duff's shoulder dropped in relief, his red eyes holding all the remaining anxiety running through his body. Izzy had no idea if he was about to laugh or cry because having to babysit him sounded like a nightmare.

"Oh thank God you're alive. I was smoking outside the bar and then I noticed Slash running towards the hotel, I thought he was in trouble until I watched him get inside your room."

"Yeah, he is okay. He was just very drunk and he and Axl had to sort something out."

"Is Axl going to kill him? What's going on?"

Izzy's hands started to play with the pack of matches in his hands, he looked Duff right into his eyes with a blank expression while his mind was traveling as fast as light. He didn't want to harm Axl or Slash in any way, even if he always had a good amount of trust in Duff's open mind.

"No. I'm about to say something and it has to stay between us, okay? Axl and Slash are dating.

Duff started laughing and then it turned into wheezing, so much that he had to hold his stomach from it and his eyes started to water with tears. Rage shot through Izzy's body, making his face twist into the scariest impassible expression he was capable of, the one that usually meant he was about to throw hands.

" God, I thought Slash upset Axl or something. I mean, are we even surprised? Those two are behaving like a married couple all the time, fucking finally!"

Izzy didn't even realize he clutched his hands until he relaxed them, Duff's supportive nature came handy once again and he found it hard to suppress the smallest hint of a smile. As much as the bassist was a piece of work, but Izzy couldn't really say anything since he was one too, moments like this reminded him of the weird bond they had about making sure the rest of the band was okay.

Suddenly the door next to him opened, revealing a certain drummer with blonde hair staring at Duff and Izzy with the widest smile.

"Axl and Slash are together?" Steven squealed with excitement.

"Steven, what the hell? You scared me!" Duff said, holding a hand over his heart.

The drummer ignored him to instead close his door and sat across Izzy, eyes full of joy and his body vibrating with energy.

"It's almost 4am why are you awake?" Izzy hoped to distract him.

"I couldn't sleep. So, are Axl and Slash together? How did that happen?"

The guitarist sighed, he pondered if he should have ignored Steven all together but the angel on his shoulder seemed to win, his face softened as he looked at the other man. He went over the story again, his calm voice in total contrast with Steven's continuous face expression even if in a way it made him feel validated in having to deal with those two idiots.

"Wow, I've never knew they were fuck buddies. I mean, one time I saw Slash and a redhead in bed but I thought it was a chick!" Steven said, making Duff laugh again.

Before he could stop it, Izzy felt a small laughter escaping his body as the image of a very naked and dramatic Axl screaming plagued his head. His head moved closer to the door but he couldn't hear much so Izzy returned to focus on Duff and Steven and their very important argument about pizza toppings, but soon their voice became only a background noise and his eyes dropped.

Maybe he was finally able to get some sleep...

The door slammed open, making Izzy's eyes immediately snap open, he turned his body around and he saw Slash's guilty eyes shooting an apology, quickly followed by Axl's confused face. Irritated wasn't even enough to describe the pure heat radiating through his body, but he would have lied if he said that he wasn't relieved by their two friends holding hands.

" What are Duff and Steven doing here?" Axl tilted his head quizzically.

"Duff thought you would kill Slash and Steven wanted a sleepover." Izzy explained and that seemed enough for Slash, who tugged Axl towards their room before the redhead could say anything.

The doorknob almost lured Izzy like a siren as his tired body screamed for some rest, he barely realized his feet moving towards his room before he was distracted by Steven's cheerful voice.

"Wanna join me and Duff in our sleepover?"

"No." He said, closing the door right in his friends' face and falling flat on his bed.

#80srock #80s rock band #guns n roses #axl rose #slash #izzy stradlin #duff mckagan #steven adler #fanfiction #my fanfiction #guns n roses fanfic #slaxl #slash x axl

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dzpenumbra · 11 months

Text

6/8/23

Today was weird. I had that doctor's visit. It wasn't that bad, I got a decent amount of sleep, I even woke up half an hour before my alarm and got a shower in. But I did leave and forget to bring a mask, I usually use a bandana. Besides dinner with my brother and his family, the doctor's office was the last place I had gone to, I think. Actually, I went to the pharmacy that one time... What I'm saying is, I don't go out much... so that habit of having the bandana around my neck kinda didn't occur to me. Luckily, for my sake, they loosened the restrictions around that.

But I felt awkward as hell without one. I mean, of all people... I'm someone they can count on to not be carrying the virus. You know, because I never leave my house. But it does make me more vulnerable. But yeah, no one really seemed to care.

My appointment was just a physical. It wasn't that bad. My pulse and blood pressure were elevated again, and they did a cholesterol test and apparently some of those levels were elevated too. It's a bit spooky and I want to take it seriously. It was a good launch point to talk about how... I've been putting on weight for the first time in my life and... I don't really know much about nutrition. Like... barely anything at all, really. So... I don't even really know what things to cut out of my diet to make it more healthy. Like... I just made this big batch of spinach artichoke pasta. Is that good for me? Or bad for me? I don't fucking know.

They gave me a pamphlet with some local nutritionists. Like I can afford that. But hey, at least now I have something specific to look for when I search for dietary recommendations, instead of "healthy diet".

Honestly, I don't even eat that unhealthy. I cook every meal. I try my best to keep fruit and vegetables in stock; despite it being very difficult and expensive nowadays. The only meat I eat is chicken, and eggs sometimes, if you count that. The only real thing I can see is that I eat a lot of cheese... and the new ice cream habit.

I mentioned that my primary focus has been mental health. He offered meds again... and I really struggled with the conversation. I was very transparent, expressed the bad experiences I had in the past, my concerns about dependency and shit. My concern about the simple act of walking to the pharmacy being a trigger... He left the door open for it, and I told him I'd discuss it further with my therapist. And what I didn't mention? I think meds are going to be prohibitively expensive. And that just is what it is.

I briefly went over my sleep schedule, he... didn't seem very fazed by it. I mean, I don't imagine he encounters many people who say "I go to sleep at dawn and I have been consistently for many years." But I appreciate him not being judgmental about it. He didn't really seem to have many concerns about that.

All-in-all... it seems like the big bad wolf in my life is mental health. It's a barrier that gets between me and meeting new people - which is a key to a life outside of my house. It's a barrier between me and living a public life without other people by my side, because I often don't feel safe alone.

Like... even today. My walk to the doctor's office was like... 3 blocks? Really not bad. On the way up, I passed some people working at an Asian market who were unloading a truck and I got anxious and didn't feel safe. And coming back, there were two guys across the street pushing an overfilled shopping cart down the sidewalk and I got anxious and didn't feel safe. Being alone, that shit gets me. With others, much less so.

The problem with working through mental health stuff is... as my doctor said... it's an "incredibly slow process". So I get caught in this tug of war. On one side, it's me doing huge amounts of work on self-awareness and working on self-esteem, and keeping myself grounded and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone but not too far... and that takes time, so I have to pace myself. And the pacing, takes place in isolation. That brings us to the other side, pushing against me - isolation. The longer I am away from social situations, the harder it is to get myself out the door. The more my imagination plays up all the spooky shit. And that takes place at a level that is like... just below the surface of conscious thought, so close to conscious thought that it feels like conscious thought. But it's not. It's instinct, reflex.

Like... okay, I don't know if that makes sense, let me try to use an example to make it make sense. So... say I want to take my trash out to the trash room. And say it's a bad anxiety day for me. I get a strong push that feels like something bad is going to happen. And its quality feels like it's something likely, something reliable. It feels like I've had a bad experience taking the bag to the trash room before. I have not fucking once had a bad experience taking the trash to the trash room. In fact, I think I've only one time had anything even remotely close to a bad experience happen in this building, and it was when I was coming back from doing laundry and accidentally and awkwardly opened the door by the stairwell right in front of a woman who was moving a giant box, and she screamed and it scared the shit out of me. And it was just awkward. It wasn't even bad. It was just... "oh shit, I'm sorry" and move along. I don't even have an emotional response to it when I relive it. So... if I've never had any negative experiences taking the trash to the trash room... why does it feel like something bad is going to happen?

My fear is leaking. My feeling of being vulnerable or unsafe is not working properly, it's overactive.

I'm glad to be able to identify it, and have this kind of presence of mind, and all that. But like... what the fuck do I do about it?

The worst part... and I've probably said this hundreds of times in these journals... and millions of times out loud... The worst part is that this fear and feeling of being unsafe is hugely diminished if I'm around just one other person. My pre-existing disposition to be overly fearful and feel unsafe (on both sides of my family, both genetically and habitually)... the isolation is like rocket fuel for it. And I'm so fucking proud of myself every day for how well I've been able to function given the circumstances. But goddamn is it frustrating and hurtful to see how frivolously people in my life have burned even casual acquaintanceship with me to the ground, over such petty shit. Especially knowing how massively impactful and beneficial such a minimal contribution to my life would be. Like... just having someone to go on walks with once or twice a week is such an insanely massive contribution to my life; like... it could literally change my entire life. Because it keeps me comfortable interacting with others. It keeps my "tolerance" up, I stay comfortable with it, which makes doing social things myself (like the farmer's market in town) not as big of a shock to the system.

I guess I'm just venting now. I just... I'm frustrated. And I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I need to... be more targeted and proactive about finding a social group.

Good lord, okay, I need to just baby step a bit more. Today, I was chatting in Twitch chat with a streamer I had never really watched before... and he was actually directly responding to some chat I was writing... and it had been so long since that had happened that... it actually started freaking me out a bit... So... I think what I need to do is find a nice multiplayer game. Any game, really. I was tempted to get Diablo 4, since I have played every single Diablo game since... probably a few months after Diablo 1 came out. But... okay, I don't know how I feel about playing multiplayer on that with someone else... though I may be hugely overthinking it. Okay, here's the big underlying thing. I was really into Diablo 3: RoS when I met my ex. Like... really into it, learning endgame shit and farming sets and all that. And... I got my ex into it, and we played a lot.

Man... I wasn't really expecting to tell this story any time soon. What happened was... after I broke up with my ex (let me preface this by saying it was an incredibly toxic relationship and I was super brave for breaking up with her) we agreed we wanted to try to stay friends. And within a week and a half, she was "dating" a guy who worked the front desk of the hotel I got her a job at. And... that hurt. A lot. After 3 fucking years. But honestly? What hurt me way more? And this may sound stupid and it may be more of a coping mechanism to blunt the pain than an actual reason, but I still feel it very strong. She started playing Diablo with him. He noticed her Starcraft shirt that I bought for her for her birthday, that I introduced her to, that we used to play together. She played fucking mobile games before she met me. And Diablo was really our thing, our first thing. And she ditched me to go play with this guy. Throwing away the romance, the physical, and the friendship - absolutely nothing was sacred, nothing of "ours" remained. And it cut really, really deep; for a sentimental person like me. Again, maybe it sounds stupid to others... but like... when that's your thing... it really fucking hurts to be... that easily replaceable.

So... Diablo comes with strings for me. I haven't played it since then. It just... yeah. So I don't know. But hey. It's been 5 fucking years. If I'm ready to date again, I should be able to go down that road.

An alternative idea I had was trying to find a Space Engineers RP server. I have no idea if anyone does actual RP in Space Engineers, but I can imagine some cool scenarios unfolding.

I just need something where I am interacting with others, more than a Twitch chat. The more regularly I do that, the easier the daily maintenance will be, the isolation upkeep. Which starts the snowball in a positive direction, rather than a negative one.

Ugh, I'm tired. I'm gonna do tarot and head to bed.

Past - VI: The Lovers, inverted (Soul-felt connection. Vulnerability, sharing your true selves.) Present - Five of Wands, inverted (Competition, disagreement, strife, and the accompanying need to step up to the challenge, prove yourself and see it through.) Future - XIX: The Sun, inverted (Hope, clarity, confidence. Success, fulfillment, revelation.)

Oooo boy, three inverted cards again. Yay.

The thread starts with the symbol of The Lovers in chaos. How I immediately react to this is... betrayal. It's me sharing my true self and being rejected, or met with deception, or having my vulnerability used against me.

This leads to... Five of Wands, inverted. Which I am intuiting is about... how I struggle to really meet challenges. How I avoid conflict like the fucking plague, to the point where I often avoid people wholesale. To the point where I write comments or replies or things to type into chat, I proofread them at least 3 times, then I just delete them... rather than risk a potential conflict. This is a big one for me. I absolutely can see my trait of avoiding conflict at all cost being clearly reflected in the inversion of the card that's like... the representation of the impulse to meet competition and see it through.

This leads to... The Sun, inverted. A lack of confidence. A lack of fulfilment. A life lived in the shadows, hiding, avoiding. The Sun is a wonderful card, all about new hope, rediscovering the world through new eyes.

So... put simply... the people who treated me like shit? Who I bared my soul to, who fucked me over and left me to rot? All of them. The wounds that I carry from that manifest with me... wow, this is an interesting thought... very ironically feeling incapable of handling conflict. Isn't that strange? I survive all of those conflicts, with all of those people, and I handle myself better than I have my entire life, worlds better than any of them. And I feel like I can't handle petty conflict with others. Hmm... Well, because I'm just so tired of conflict existing at all. I'm having a lot of really fast moving thoughts on this, I need to rope it back real quick. The result of this avoidance is that I don't live a fulfilling life, my confidence is shot, I'm in isolation and I am constantly afraid. But more than that... this looming fear is preventing me from seeing how wonderful a lot of the world is out there.

Maybe... hmm... Okay, bear with me here... maybe I need to get in more debates? Maybe I need a smurf account where I post shit and don't give a fuck... conversationally. Hmm... I'll float it by my therapist.

My theory being... people who have martial arts training aren't nearly as afraid of getting mugged in an alley as people who don't. And that's because they specifically trained for that, they practiced. I still don't know why I'm afraid of conflict when I have more goddamn experience with being levelheaded in stupid, childish and brutally low-blow-throwing conflicts than anyone I know. That point got me stuck. I guess it's just like... I'm fucking tired. I'm tired of it. I paid my dues and I just don't want to... I don't want to suffer more loss, I guess. That's probably it. Even if that loss is just the loss of a potential friend. It seems stupid, I guess... but it makes sense instinctually... that it's better to avoid than to lose another friend. Which is like... the polar opposite of "it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all".

I have a lot of reflecting to do on this. But for now? Bedtime.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

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twistedoverbloat · 2 years

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Guys hearing fem!Yuu sing Teenagers by my chemical romance and accidentally introducing emo/punk rock to the school

Female Yuu! I really can't wait to write this I love Teenagers by My chemical romance!

Yuu was bored out of her mind. She didn't have a lot to do but she did finally find her phone, that bastart of a headmaster held it from her because he didn't know who it belonged too. Luckily Crewel the one she told how it looked like got it from him. She was so happy she was able to listen to music from her world since the music here was kinda not all that good they didn't have any my chemical romance songs or other ones they liked!

There was a talent show that Crowely decided to do for what ever fucking reason and Yuu was forced to sign up. So she decided why not sing Teenagers? I mean she knew the lyrics by heart and plus she can get the back ground music by using her phone. She then decided on an outfit! She went shopping with Vil the other day and got some cloths that were emo/punk rock. She put on (What ever you decided bc I suck at describing cloths) and she did her make up and hair. She was ready.

She hurried to the Ceramony room where the talent show was being held. There was a lot of questionable glances at her as she strutted to the 'stage' Vil gasped at the sight of her. She was first and got Idia to get her speakers since he owned her one. Hooking them up and getting on stage she told Idia to wait for her signal to start

"Hello! My name is Yuu and I will be singing Teenagers from My Chemical Romance!" There were whispers in the crowd. "My chemical romance is that a new band?" And other "That sounds so bad." Yuu forgot that they didn't know the song but started it anyways. The music ripped through the room as everyone looked at Yuu rocking out.

"They're gonna clean up your looks With all the lies in the books."

Yuu began as the music started its beat. Every eyes were on her and she loved it!

"To make a citizen out of you."

Looking at the crowd she belted out

"Because they sleep with a gun! And keep an eye on you, son! So they can watch all the things you do"

Everyone looked at Yuu and started to think about the lyrics. These lyrics began to resonate with the boys, as the began to think about it more.

"Because the drugs never work! They're gonna give you a smirk. 'Cause they got methods of keeping you clean!"

Some of the Savanaclaw boys began to cheer and everyone started standing up with them. Yuu smirked as she began to get louder.

"They're gonna rip up your heads! Your aspirations to shreds! Another cog in the murder machine!"

Ace and Deuce were yelling for Yuu, Epel was jumping up and down, Jack was clapping and Sebek looked like he was going through a rebel faze. All the cheers got louder as she continued.

"They said, "All teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me!" They could care less as long as someone'll bleed!"

The staff agreed with that sentence it seems like all these kids are becoming bigger and more stronger every year. They had so many bloody fights they broken up before.

"So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose! Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me!"

Riddle was brussling about this song it was so rebelling that he was starting to like it!

"The boys and girls in the clique. The awful names that they stick. You're never gonna fit in much, kid."

Some boys agreed sometimes words did hurt but they couldn't show it or they seem weak to them.

"But if you're troubled and hurt! What you got under your shirt! Will make them pay for the things that they did!"

Epel felt that line so bad because everyone always thinks he's some weak boy but really he can be strong! He even fought off Jack when sparing!

"They said, "All teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me" They could care less as long as someone'll bleed! So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose! Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me!"

Most of the dormheads were just watching their peers go wild as it slowly turn into a mashpit. Vil was rolling his eyes at the music, Riddle was slowly getting into it, Azul was indifferent, Leona hated how loud it was. Kalim liked it and sang along the best he could, Idia was Simi jamming out to the song, and Malleus was having a outer body experience he saw how everyone was showing emotions and he really liked the song surprisingly. He might just have to ask her if he could listen to the sing more.

"Oh, yeah!"

The crowd got more wild as Yuu got more into the song. Belting out the lyrics with so much emotions.

The crowd began to chant Yuu Yuu Yuu.

"All together now!"

The crowd began to shout the lyrics along with Yuu as she yelled.

"Teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me" They could care less as long as someone'll bleed! So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose! Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me!"

It was surprising to see everyone having a good time. Since everyone is up eachothers neck about almost everything.

"Teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me" They could care less as long as someone'll bleed! So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me!"

As she finished the song Yuu was over waved with shouts of sing more or do another song! Yuu hurried off stage to Idia who said it was a good song. She smiled at him "I'll show you other songs if you want!" Malleus intervened "My I come as well?" Yuu nodded her head at the Dragon Prince "Of course!" It took half an ohoru to calm the boys as the next singer came on.

At the end of the contest Yuu was declared the winner and got a free vacation. When she left she let Malleus have her phone so she could have a whole week to herself and Malleus blasted all the music around campus and everyone started listening to set it off, and other bands.

When she got back she was bombarded with pleas of singing the songs again.

#Singer Yuu #Yuu in her singer arc?#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #fem yuu

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morimallow · 4 years

Text

Hi, this is part two of Morisuke is a Nerd. Read the first part here and the last part here. Special thanks to my two friends with wild imaginations.

You challenged Yaku in every and any way possible. From a simple mental and oral Math drills to balancing Chemical equations mentally but for Yaku, this doesn't even make his brain work to full extent. But don't worry, you won for like 9 times.. out of the 30 challenges.

On the day of the Science contest, you challenged him once more but this time, it's the last one. After the contest, you don't know if you'd stay as friends or turn back to being strangers so you thought, why not make this a memorable one?

“Morisuke Yaku,” you stated his full name even after spending time together all day and everyday for 3 whole months: you accompanying him to his volleyball practices, attending his tournaments, both getting lunch together. In short, you seemed like the perfect couple even though you guys really aren't. You just thought that you guys shouldn't waste time in reviewing thus excusing yourself to fit into his life and time but to him, seeing you do things for him and with him, he was slowly falling for you.

You were sitting beside each other in the train with the coach in front of you, he turned to you and hummed, “Hmm? Challenging me again?” he asked, smirk evident in his tone.

“Yes,” you replied, hands gripping your thighs slightly. Why were you nervous? This was your routine: challenging him in any way. Were you embarrassed? Humiliated? Because he won every time you challenge him?

“What is it this time?” Despite the statement on its own might be quite rude or said by someone who is really done with your shit, with his soothing voice, you noticed that he sounded genuinely interested.

He never found you annoying, not even once. He knows your worth, that you're doing your best especially when it comes to winning over him. He doesn't back down because he knows your pride and you know that too but one thing you don't know is that you already won over his whole being. He is now, a hundred and twenty percent sure that he's in love with you.

You faced him and made eye contact and said, “I know we're here as a team but the one who has more correct answers in the contest will make the other do what they want. Let's ask coach to record our scores.”

Now that was the most interesting challenge you ever said to him. He already had one thing on his upon hearing this: He must score more than you.

“And now for this year's first placer.. It's none other than Nekoma Highschool! Oh, man, the power brain couple: Morisuke Yaku and F/N L/N, please come here on stage and receive your award. If you watched the contest a while back, you would surely no doubt a bit that they'd bring home the bacon.”

You and Yaku were happy about the results and coach was the extreme one. But both of you are thinking the same question: Who scored more? Both were smiling until you saw your coach's notes: 36-57/100 questions.

“Ah, ah, would you look at that, L/N! I guess you'll do what I say, hmm?” the brown-haired disgustingly handsome and genius libero teased you as if you don't understand what will happen after the coach presented the data.

Crossing your arms in front of your chest, mustering your most ‘intimidating yet bored’ look, you said facing him, “Come at me.”

Yaku wasn't even fazed. In fact, he likes it when you're like that. Unbothered, laid-back, but deep inside, you were screaming at yourself for being so dumb. He found you cute and charming but you never knew this. Thus the sentence that came out of his mouth shock you to the core, “Go out with me.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and now you realized that while you were absentmindedly fitting yourself into his life, using the excuse: we need to review, you yourself found out just now as he blurted those words that you like him so.

But you still weren't sure. So, as a distraction, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him outside the stadium where the contest was held. Without releasing his wrist, you said, “There. We're here. Outside. Together. That simple.”

Yaku being the smooth boi who is genuinely in love with you, he shook his hand to get rid of your hold and hastily intertwined his with yours and clarified, “Be my girlfriend, F/N L/N.”

—

The ball was served, curving to Nekoma's side of the court, directly to their libero, AKA your boyfriend, who perfectly received that spike-serve and flew to the setter. Kenma set the ball to Kuroo with Lev as a decoy and score! Nekoma won this round.

The game ended and rushed from the bleachers to door where the team would exit. While doing the formalities after the game, Yaku wouldn't stop smiling. Knowing that you're waiting behind that door.

Kuroo noticed this and said, “You're obviously not excited to suck your girlfriend's face, aren't you, Yakkun? Really.”

“Shut up, you one-eyed rooster,” Yaku retorted and glared at their captain. You were now at the back of his mind, busy throwing insults to Kuroo while the whole team was walking towards the exit.

When the doors opened, you frantically searched for your boyfriend and because of his jersey, you found him almost immediately. With your eyes turning to hearts, the team stopped walking when they saw you but Yaku was still insulting Kuroo.

“Sure, that last spike was awesome but you're—”

“Mori-kun!” you exclaimed as you ran towards your boyfriend, giving him your victory hug.

morisukeyaku.exe has stopped working jk

Without saying anything, he grabbed the back of your thighs and effortlessly picked you up. Your legs hugged his waist and arms around his neck.

Yaku cupped your right cheek so you can see him clearly. “My lucky charm is here. Thank you for coming, marshmallow,” he cooed and placed a kiss on your nose, a passionate one on the lips: biting your lower lip as he pulled away. He smiled sweetly at you, finally put you down and placed one more saccharine kiss full of affection on your forehead.

Totally in your own bubble, Lev decided to pop it and loudly voiced out, “Yaku-san! I never thought someone was shorter than you!”

And then, my friends, Lev's soul left his body as Yaku kicked him out of the world.

“She's my girlfriend, you fucking dumbass!”

To calm down Yaku, you hugged him again, face buried in the crook of his neck and whispered, “You're so hot, sweaty, and bothered, baby.” For additional points, you nipped the skin where your mouth was placed.

“Y-You guys board the bus first. I-I'll catch up, I need to go to the bathroom.”

Yamamoto intervened when he noticed that Yaku's face was flushed right after you hugged him, “Ohoho, L/N-san, what did you say to our Yaku, huh?” And the whole team threw suspicions at you while Yaku excused himself and went to the bathroom not knowing that someone was following him.

—

“Is she still innocent?” a voice boomed inside the bathroom while Yaku was staring at the mirror then, at the man, after splashing water on his face. He realized he was the captain of the team Nekoma just played against.

Confusion etched on his face and his brows furrowed, “What do you mean and who are you pertaining to?”

“The slut you were all giddy-giddy with and sickly and shamefully kissed.”

He narrowed his eyes at the man standing before him. Even though he was shorter than him, he stood firmly. The fuck got that to do with my height when he just insulted my girlfriend. “Who the fuck are you calling a slut?”

The man laughed mockingly at the libero, “I thought the libero of Nekoma was a so-called genius. Didn't you go with that bitch on the Science contest?”

Yaku didn't reply at what the man said but instead blankly stared at him and thought, how did he know we attended the contest? That was months ago.

He scoffed annoyingly at Yaku, irritated that his words and insults didn't falter his trust towards his ex. “Do you just not care or are you really dumb?”

Yaku was drying his hands and said to the man without looking at him as if he just doesn't care about what he's saying which is true, “I only believe facts about her when it comes from her and not from someone who clearly didn't value and continue to degrade her even after they broke up. You're the dumb one. Uneducated swine.”

After that encounter, he boarded the bus and sat beside you. Yes, you were allowed to ride the bus because the whole team seriously loves you and your mere presence just makes up Mori's whole mood. Plus, you're good friends with their coach.

“Love—”

You know he's tired. No need to speak, my Mori. I know you all too well. You leaned closer and kissed the side of his head, put your head on his shoulder and used your hand to guide your boyfriend's head on to yours. You interlaced your fingers and said, “Sleep.”

—

You arrived at the scene where the Nekoma Volleyball Club was taking their group picture with the third years wearing their togas and wide grins.

Lev noticed your arrival and turned to Yaku, probably saying that you're already here.

Predicting that Yaku would do something very couple-y-like, the team got their phones and cameras ready, even Kenma!

And Mori really did. He ran up to you, carried you just below your butt, and held you up. Spinning the both of you while your noses touched and they got it all on camera.

You were both giggling and Mori stopped spinning. Foreheads and noses touched, heavy breathing and hearts pounding..

Then lips touched as well.

He pulled away slowly, afraid that this will be the last time he's able to kiss you. With eyes closed, he pressed his forehead against yours and said, “Meet me at the library later, hmm? We need to talk.”

You could only nod.

After he went along with the other third years towards the stadium, you let your feet carry you to where you and Mori first met: the school library.

You scanned the place, walking in between shelves and shelves, stopping once in a while to grab a Math book to orally answer the problems just like you and Mori always do.

Roughly an hour of reading and walking, you were at that shelf. The shelf where you were reaching for the goddamned Physics book. And right about that time, Mori was running up the stairs and corridors.

Your eyes caught a glimpse of a wooden stool near your feet. As you stepped on it, Mori was panting and leaned against the door frame.

He saw how you easily grabbed the book and he thought, “She'll be fine without me.” And he smiled sadly, the one that doesn't reach his eyes, at that thought. But I will never be fine without her or her support.

Taking a deep breath, he entered the room and made a decision that will surely change both of their lives. On the positive side. He hoped at least.

With your back facing him, tears threateningly spilled from his eyes and hugged you tight from behind.

“Morisuke..?” Her voiced confused but somehow relieved how tense Mori's body was. You felt the wetness on your neck and reaching your hand to place it on your boyfriend's hair, you fingers ran through it soothingly. “Morisuke, what is—”

“Please.. just let me hold you a little while longer.”

Having an idea on what's about to happen, you turned around and hugged your boyfriend back.

You pulled away from the hug, cupping his cheeks, you used your thumbs to wipe away his tears. You chuckled lightly, “C'mon, Morisuke, my love, my saccharine apricot, if we're gonna part ways then at least end it with a smile.” You planted a kiss on his forehead and continued, “It's hard for me to see the one who won almost all the challenges I've given him cry. The one I love the most cry. It makes me want to cage you in my heart and arms forever.”

Mori placed his own hands on top of yours, he whispered, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.”

You snorted at how cheesy that line was. “Did you just quote Juliet Capulet? Didn't know you were into classics, love,” you said and smiled at him once more.

“I'm selfish for telling you that I want you to wait for me for 7 long years. I.. I'll understand if you'll find someone else.. someone better than me to love you. Someone who won't leave—”

“Morisuke Yaku, I challenge you yet again to come back for me—to me. Back in my arms when time comes. And by then, we'll be the best version of ourselves.”

Placing his lips on your forehead, he said, “I'll be someone you can be proud of.”

As his lips lingered longer in your forehead, you thought to yourself, “I'm already proud of you. Always am and always will be.”

“See you around, love.”

Masterlist

#nekoma #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #morisuke yaku x reader #yaku morisuke #morisuke x reader #haikyuu angst

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jadegrey711 · 5 years

Text

Into the Night

Noah Flynn x Fem!Reader

A/N: I'm really excited this was my very first request and I hope I gave my anon what they wanted. I really enjoyed writing this.... when I was finally able to actually sit down and write it! I didn't make this one NSFW since I didn't know if my anon's request was nsfw or not. But the sexual tension is there. Plus I felt like this one didn't need any smut, I just went where the music took me. I hope you guys enjoy it!

*NOT MY GIFS*

Summary: It's the reader's birthday and her two best friends Lee and Elle have decided to take her anywhere that she wants to go. The reader decides that she wants to celebrate her birthday by going out and dancing at a new club

ANON REQUEST: Could you please do a Noah Flynn and plus size reader imagine maybe where she's friends with Elle and Lee and she's confident but also believes she's not Noah's type but he proves her wrong.

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711)

Inspiration songs

Into the Night by Santana (feat Chad Kroeger)

You are my kind by Santana (feat Seal)

The Game of Love by Santana (feat Michelle Branch)

Breaking Down the Door by Santana (feat Buika)

Summer. A time that during the other half of the year feels like it’s eons away and when it does come it never lasts as long as you need it to. However, in those what feels like extremely brief months this is how I spend my time; sitting by the pool with my two best friends Elle and Lee – wait where’s Lee?

“Lee!” Elle screeched at him; causing me to burst out in a fit of laughter. Which in turn caused Elle to laugh too and Lee’s smile grew even wider.

Suddenly though, he walked outside, breaking the easy vibes of the situation and sending a lightning bolt of tension through me.

“What’s all the noise?” Noah asked, looking slightly annoyed as he walked outside, his shirt obviously no where to be seen.

I chuckled to myself at this and then felt Noah’s gaze on me; intense as always, he just has that natural intensity with everything he takes in. I watched as he gazed down at me, then quickly looked back to Lee.

I never knew if those gazes were his natural intensity or if it was some level of scrutiny at what he was looking at.

A curvy girl, with love handles unabashedly wearing a bikini, the same kind that Elle a thin and extremely athletic girl wears.

No matter, whether his gazes were filled with scrutiny or not, my reaction to them was always the same, I’d smile and tilt my chin up just a bit higher. This is my body and I’ve learned a long time ago to love it for what it is; mine.

Lee broke my thoughts. “It’s called laughter, Noah. Not that you would know how to make a girl laugh.” Lee chortled, causing both me and Elle to giggle at his dig.

Noah just smirked. “I’m too busy earning other noises from them.” He smiled like cat who caught the canary.

I unconsciously crossed my legs in front of me.

Lee laughed him off and shook out his hair before he swam to the edge of the pool, crossing his arms on the pool edge in front of him.

“So, Y/N. Do you have any ideas on where you want to go for your birthday tonight?” Lee said eagerly, and Elle swung her legs over her lawn chair, eagerly.

“Yeah Y/N. You’ve had all week to think about it, I mean you definitely don’t want Lee to pick the party place.” She said.

“I was thinking that we could go out dancing.” I smiled at them. “There’s this new club that plays Latin music and I really want to go check it out.”

“Definitely sounds interesting.” Lee said, and I could already hear the apprehension in his voice at the thought of dancing. But before he could say anything else Elle cut in.

“It’s your birthday Y/N. We’ll do whatever you want to do.” She said with a smile on her face. Then just as we were about to make the plans for tonight another voice cut in.

“I’m in.” Noah said easily.

We all turned our heads towards Noah who had still been standing there, casually listening to our conversation.

“You can’t come!” Lee said a bit aggressively.

Noah didn’t look the least bit fazed. “Sure, I can. There’s three of you, and that means one of you will be left without a dance partner.”

“Lee will dance with both of us equally. Plus, I’m fine with dancing on my own for a while.” I said, taking in that intense gaze once again.

*****

Noah didn’t drop the subject any time soon and along with his logic of having equal dance partners he apparently wanted to go check out the new club as well. So, by seven o’clock that night all four of us were jammed into Lee’s mustang; Lee and Elle in the front with Noah and I in the back.

*****

The electricity in the air of the club was stifling as we walked inside. It was refreshing to me to see a live band playing in front of the crowded club instead of some random DJ with a turn table. I felt my excitement grow as I took in the couples on the dancefloor, they seemed to be thrumming to the music, letting themselves be possessed by the music; as it seemed to shake the very foundation of the club.

I looked back to gauge Elle and Lee’s reactions to their new surroundings but instead I found Noah; standing right beside me taking in my every reaction to the club. I felt my cheeks go hot and I walked quickly towards Elle and Lee.

“So, what do you guys think?” I smiled brightly at them.

“Well, there is definitely a lot of dancing.” Lee said, his panic literally coming off in waves.

I felt my heart sink a bit as I gauged their reactions and knew I couldn’t enjoy myself tonight if I knew they weren’t having fun. “We can go somewhere else if you guys want.” I said hating how small my voice sounded.

Elle quickly cut in. “We’re not going anywhere! It’d your birthday and you wanted to dance; now let’s dance!” She smiled brightly as she grabbed my hand and we made our way to the dancefloor, through the thrumming couples and started to dance. It wasn’t anything as nearly as sexy or anything that could really even be considered serious dancing, but it’s what I had exactly envisioned for the night my best friends and I just letting loose on the dancefloor.

Elle and I were having so much fun that Lee finally felt safe enough to come and join us in our weird swaying motions; but Noah never moved from his spot by the bar he just continued to watch, taking it all in.

*****

Later in the night, Elle and Lee had to take a break but I couldn’t stop, I too felt possessed by the rhythm, feeling it vibrate withthin my chest and filling my soul in places I didn’t think were empty so, I stayed and I danced. I swayed to the music, not giving a shit about how my hips were swaying or why my hands glided up my hips as they made little circles or why my arms went above my head, gently lifting up my hair only to let it fall against my back once more. I just danced. I danced like there was no one there but me and the music.

Suddenly I felt someone’s fingers brush against my neck as they pushed my hair to one side and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

“You have got to be the sexiest dancer in here Y/N.”

I quickly turned my head to see Noah beside me, giving me that award wining smile.

“Noah?” I asked. “What are you doing?”

He placed his hands gently at the top of my hips, pressing them against me to make me sway my hips again. He buried his face in my neck, and whispered against my skin. “I thought you could use a dance partner.” He smiled.

I felt shocked. I mean I knew that Noah was one to flirt, but all those looks of scrutiny by the pool came flooding back to me as I turned in his arms, hoping that it would remove his hands from my hips but he just moved with me.

“Why?” I asked for the first time tonight forgetting about the music and furrowing my eyebrows at him. “You’ve never shown interest before. Why would you now?”

Noah’s gaze focused on me. “I’ve always wanted to dance with you, Y/N. I just didn’t realize how much I wanted to until I saw you dancing here by yourself, without a care in the world and looking so fucking sexy. That I realized how stupid it was to just sit over there and watch you when I could be dancing with you.”He said his gaze even more intense than before, then suddenly I felt his fingers brush down the length of my arms slowly, causing my body to erupt in fire, until his fingertips brushed against mine.

He interlaced our fingers together then twirled me around on the dancefloor only to pull me back to him this time closer. I felt his heat from his body through my fingertips as I placed my hands on his chest; I looked up at his beautiful face and smiled. I felt mischievous as I ran my hands up his chest and wrapped them around his neck, bringing him even closer to me; his hands went back to my hips, following their every rhythm; and just like that we were possessed too. The music filled us both and we became like every other couple in that club, ensnared in both the music and in each other.

#jade tries writing #noah flynn oneshot #noah flynn x reader #noah flynn imagine #noah flynn #the kissing booth #netflix the kissing booth #jadegrey writes #my writing #noah flynn x fem!reader #the kissing booth oneshots #the kissing booth imagine

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