#I need this as a life source now

[dailykugisaki]

Day 121 | id in alt

They're recreating something that happened on a mission. Gojo is invested. Fushiguro? Lightly shaken.

#dailykugisaki #jjk #kugisaki nobara #itadori yuji #fushiguro megumi #tokyo trio #gojo satoru #no Itadori's were harmed in the making of this #YALL IM STRAIGHT UP WRITING SHIT FOR KUGISAKI NOW THIS SHIT IS SERIOUS AS FUCK #when did this freak who shows up for a collective 20 minutes become my source of serotonin #idk but i wouldn't have it any other way shes amazing and if gege cant figure out his shit then im hitting him with a train #my mind is so enlarged rn y'all #update on the goats theyre being freaks again theyre stupid af #i was brain rotting a lot #i was doing a lot of shit the past week it was insanity but its always gonna be worth it to make any life better #anyway i need gege to relinquish his rights to Kugisaki Nobara bc i have a maddening amount of ideas for jer #also like how in the hell is Fushiguro's soul so strong it made me narrow my eyes #like good for him i guess but still #Kugisaki is fighting herobrine as we speak

[tcfactory]

Okay smartass how would you fix Bingqiu if you had your way?

If you actually want to know you could do to be less of a rude little shit about it, anon, but all right.

This is not about 'fixing' anything. Bingqiu is a wildly popular ship and a lot of people enjoy the exact kind of delusional insanity these two have about each other and that's honestly great. Love it for them. Not my cup of tea though.

I think the easiest and fastest way to make them sort their shit out and maybe put them in a position where I might actually be interested in what's going on with them is to take the protagonist halo away. Maybe the System short circuits, maybe it just gets automatically turned off after the extras, don't know don't care.

A lot of Shen Qingqiu's self delusions are fueled by his unshakeable belief that Luo Binghe, being The Protagonist, is Perfectly Fine the way he is. Binghe is the Protagonist, so when there are no character development or obligatory angst events going on he is happy and healthy and a slightly charred good boy and Shen Qingqiu is The Happy Wife who dotes on his hubby and Everything Is Right In The World. Endless honeymoon with their responsibilities only coming to bother them every once in a while. And it makes it way too easy for Binghe to cover up that he's still hurt, still unstable and still insecure by what went down because Shen Qingqiu is willing to take him at face value when he presents his insecurities as just being shameless neediness for his husband. Of course he happily indulges Binghe! But that isn't really helping with the core of the problem now, does it?

Like, Binghe takes steps towards ensuring Shen Qingqiu's mental wellbeing even at the cost of his own as soon as Maigu Ridge is over when he takes him back to the sect. Shen Qingqiu tries too, in his own way (the entire segment in the tombs is all about him putting himself in very real danger for Binghe's sake) but at the same time, this is a guy who completely missed the writing on the wall that Bingge was deeply unhappy in PIDW. As long as he can hold onto his internal picture that The Protagonist Suffered A Lot But He Is Fine Now I don't think he can really offer the right kind of emotional support for Binghe to actually heal from what happened to him and move on to a healthier frame of mind.

If you take the protagonist halo away, then first of all Binghe can, you know, suck a little. Or a lot, actually. The world not making excuses for him and him being a little defanged would be good for him. He gets really nothing he actually wants from being the protagonist - Shen Qingqiu will love him anyway. Mobei-jun will still stick around to back him up and help him out, because he's still Shang Qinghua's favorite fictional son and Qinghua is happy to see Binghe happy, just, you know, somewhere way over there where he can't get jealous tsundere over Cucumber bro and maybe murder him about it. Sha Hualing is still going to be his buddy because he's her best source of human trivia and the writing inspiration for her girlfriend. Not having to be demon emperor and getting more time to spend with his husband would be a relief.

But he would have to be more aware of other people because he's not above them anymore. Maybe even forced to make a few new friends to get by. And his mask will fail and Shen Qingqiu will have to see him for what he is: just Luo Binghe, still hurt and still confused half demon, who loves him very much, but can't make sense of him and is afraid that he will be left behind or pushed away without explanation again and that's kinda Shen Qingqiu's own damn fault.

And Shen Qingqiu can't hold onto his delusions about The Protagonist. He can't willfully ignore that things are not fine with Binghe because he's not the Protagonist anymore and the world only allows that special privilege for the Protagonist. Binghe is just a guy now and he has so many heart demons he needs help with. His trauma from the abyss or Xin Mo can't be brushed off with 'oh that's just part of his blackening he's fine now' anymore. And it might need a little bit of adjusting to internalize that these problems have always been here just below the surface, but Shen Qingqiu genuinely loves Binghe and would want to help him become happier and more stable in any way he can.

Binghe becoming part of the world in a way that's one person among many - building a support network! maybe befriending new demons or actually getting to know and making up with the QJ disciples or finding common ground with LQG and becoming sparring buddies - rather than a protagonist in a sea of NPCs is a lot more interesting to me than whatever he has going on at the end of canon. And Shen Qingqiu can be there with him on that journey, because he already started unlearning the sense of unreality the System conditioned into him, but he still has a long way to go.

#i feel like a lot of very real hurt and mental scarring Binghe suffered just get brushed aside as 'oh it's just part of his blackening' #like the aftereffects of Xin Mo alone would deserve a mention but Binghe Has The Love Of His Life Now So Everything Is Fine #also I think people really undersell how hard SQQ can delude himself when he tries #he already had practice in it convincing himself that he's absolutely het and not even a little gay at all #but then the System really fucked up how he sees the world #made him see things structured completely around the arc of a harem and then romance protagonist #and neither of those frameworks ALLOW him to see how mentally scarred LBH is by everything #like he would occasionally get a moment of 'oh LBH might actually need more friends he looks lonely hanging out with just me and NYY' #but then his idiot reader brain reasserts itself and he convinces himself that it's FINE because the protagonist can't be maladjusted #I joke a lot that Binghe is a red flag and that's Shen Yuan's favorite color #but it's more a case of “you say that it's a red flag but I won't see it because the narrative can't allow it to be red” #Shen Yuan's attachment to the source material and the roles he constructs based on it are actively harming both of them #and I don't feel like it really makes things better that by the end he moved himself from the role of the Villain to the role of the Wife #they are still roles that impact how he interacts with reality n still constrict how well he's able to understand or be understood by Bingh #tl;dr.: Shen Yuan needs to become less of a delulu millennial trashfire bc it's holding both of them back from healing #anyway these are my unfiltered Bingqiu thoughts take it or leave it

[midnight-moth]

I think for the time being my asks are closed because insert ramble about mental stability I tried to write last night and I almost threw my laptop at the wall. Like I don’t want to close the box cause I enjoy questions that I can answer. I just feel really bad for the asks sitting there covered in cobwebs. And I think the more I get the more I crumple like an aluminum can. Like maybe if I just don’t think about it for a while I’ll be able to do it again. I miss being able to write like 10k in one sitting. Brain fog is so fog I don’t know how I don’t walk into walls.

#sorry to be dramatic #I am very frustrate #11/10 #some people do not want medication but I will gladly take whatever works so gib me #I need an emotional support ghoul they all have one where is mine #maybe this makes my life seem very sad but lol spoiler it is #it was just the thing i could do to completely detach from reality and now I do not know what to do with myself #I know and I said sorry to be dramatic it just feels dramatic for me cause it was a source of both joy and catharsis #fuck

[writerkmc]

maeve: i mean— what? am i supposed to just do everything that bronwyn does now? what if she were to jump off a cliff?

addy: if bronwyn were to jump off a cliff, she would’ve done her due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. if you see bronwyn jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

maeve: … you jump off a cliff!

addy: gladly. provided bronwyn jumps first

#maeve ‘i want to be my own person’ rojas vs addy ‘i need my sister to make all of my life choices from now on’ prentiss #iconic duo #‘am i supposed to do everything bronwyn does?’ #girl not only involved herself in her sister’s murder investigation #but then proceeded to involve herself in her own murder case #oouil #oouin #oouib #maeve rojas #addy prentiss #bayview crew #source: i can’t remember pls reach out if you know where this is from!

[ride-a-dromedary]

Thinking on Halsin's Child Name, I have come to the conclusion that - in my mind - it was simply "Re" or "Tōre"

Meaning, fittingly (though his parents didn't know it yet), bear or little bear.

#source: my brainrot #BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #Halsin #i believe it said in a way that stresses it as 'baby bear' or 'little bear' #and his mother called him 'nharaigh' - sunshine/light #re is taken from general dnd media while tō is more from DnDAlley bless that conlang #you know what sometimes you just need meaningless fluff hcs #that are generally inconsequential #but all the talk of astarion potentially being his child name had me thinking #and going by that same conlang his name now might be #halsin ahn'tōre #on the nose? maybe - but you could say greatly influential to his life #halsin's custom made first longbow with 'little bear' carved on the inside #i wanna draw baby halsin again #maybe all of his brothers and sisters were child named after animals #okay technically re can also mean animal or person but elvish be elvish

[arcanewebs]

does. anyone else experience the language learning pipeline of like

yeah why not seems kinda fun -> (optional step) the writing system is crazy bro -> damn theres no WAY im gonna remember any of this shit -> genuine interest and fascination with the differences between languages and needing to Know more

and its because of the stupidest reason for starting learning it in the first place

#me personally i only started french because i didnt want to do spanish or german #and we had to take a language #now look at me. ap student gonna take the exam in less than two months #did one course for asl because i needed to fill a credit and it seemed easy enough to do online #and i was so interested by deaf culture and i was having sm fun with learning signs #but i never continued it for?? some reason?? #i didnt take japanese any further than hiragana and some katakana but it was fun learning the writing system #not that i remember more than maybe 30% of it #and now im trying to learn ukrainian on duolingo and other outside sources #partially just bc i was curious #but now im like. very entranced by it #i have a google doc vocab list and everything #its very fun for me :) even if i dont use it in everyday life and if i drop it after a week #its also so fun to speak #I NEED TO. SHUTUP omfg #tldr languages are sk cool.. to Me.. i should take a linguistics class sometime…

[alsaurus-loves-dean]

.

#last month i wrote some tags about how i needed to leave my nails alone because i was getting extensions #in the hopes that i would finally stop biting my nails after doing it almost my whole life #well it FUCKING WORKED #i got gel x tips and i loved them sooooo much #but they kept coming off because i have to do so much with my hands especially in water lol #and i have tiny fingers too so the sizes she had weren't quite right #she redid the ones that came off for free for the whole three weeks i wore them! #so i bought her some new tips in tiny person sizes as a thank you lol #for her to use on other clients tho because she recommended this gel overlay system she likes #I've been wearing it for like a week and a half and they are still FLAWLESS #so I'm never going back to anything else lol i'm going to keep getting these pretty much forevwr #but anyway the important part is. that i no longer put my fingers in my mouth to destroy my nails and cuticles #i have real grownup hands now and it's AMAZING #my nail plate is reattaching to my nail bed!!!! like the bed is getting longer #they'll eventually reach the actual tips of my fingers the way theyre supposed to 😍 #and the gel keeps the nails hard and almost fucking unbreakable #i had to replace my compulsion to bite/chew with the compulsion to apply cuticle oil lol but it's SO WORTH IT #i look at pictures of how my hands used to look just two months ago and i cant fucking believe i lived that way for DECADES #and i guess this is especially significant for me because my hands have always been a source of shame #not just because my nails were fucking gross and fucked up. but because i have TINY HANDS #like really small hands. not proportionate to my body. AT ALL #especially when i put my hands near my head because i have a slightly larger than average head lmaooo #and my fingers are very thin and just. i have small hands. very weak. #i cant even snap my fingers and make a sound #(do NOT instruct me. i know how to do it. i have been trying my whole life. its not physically possible for my fingers to make that sound) #so having nice nails really fucking helps me 🥹 #like i can be proud of my hands even if theyre small #and i dont feel the need to hide them anymore

[gillianthecat]

I hate it when I actually make it to my bus stop not just on time but early (rare! impressive!) but my bus never shows up, so I end up being late anyway.

#unreliable public transit and adhd do not mix #i need to be the only source of chaos in the room #gillianthecat's life #gillianthecat goes back to school #also it meant i had to wait in the rain for 25 minutes which was annoying #it'll be fine but i was so looking forward to a leisurely experience and now I'm rushed and stressed #my life with adhd

[wheelercore]

I don't trust things not being on the inspo board when Rosemary's Baby and Oedipus The King are straight up just not there despite the clear references

#they will literally Lie when it comes to anything about the wheelers. i respect that tho. #how many times do they have to bring up spawns of satan and satans baby before people go wait. rosemarys baby #esp the various uses of roses symbolistically similar to RB #honestly id even argue the grandfather clock qas also ripped from rosemarys baby esp since its mostly associated with roman #who is the head of the cult and the mastermind who preyed on rosemary to begin with #'satan' being a stand in for the men in rosemarys life inc guy and roman #and dont get me started on oedipus... like the eyes? being gouged out? victor? vecna victims? #thebes being struck by a plague until the 'source' is found? literally s2 and s3? el trying to find the source #alexei saying that opening a portal only works in hawkins bc there is something special about hawkins? what was causing the downfall #of thebes was Oedipus the entire time? bc he was the 'source'? and for thebes not to be cursed anymore oedipus needs to be either cursed or #exiled? #*killed or exiled #the karen look alike on front of the missing persons board? oedipus goes missing after realizing the truth? kill me now #st x rosemarys baby #st x oedipus the king #and like. dont even get me started on edward henry and richard all meaning some variation of 'king' or 'ruler'

[youremyonlyhope]

Every day I am more and more upset I didn’t write that research paper on parasocial relationships in social media a whole decade ago.

#possibly my biggest regret in life #the writing was on the wall. but no one has started researching it #*HAD started #twitter was only a couple years old. same with instagram. but I saw it. it was there #i needed proper scholarly sources so I switched topics #but god the world is in worse shape than I had predicted in 2013 #yes this is partially prompted by the whole watcher thing where people seem far too heartbroken #for it to truly be a healthy fan reaction. but also I was just in some tarot tags #and I'm always so confused by the popularity of celebrity tarot. where people request readings on celebs relationships and stuff #especially in kpop there's an entire active 'kpop tarot' tag #now that's something I definitely did not see coming a decade ago. but it's still part of the larger symptom #god if only I could have been at the forefront of research and be a prominent sociologist of this field #in an alternate universe that paper would have been written and maybe I'd have revisited it doing a phd or something #I still remember my teacher asking if parasocial was a real term and that the topic was too niche #it was. it definitely was. I'd have been miserable writing 20 pages on it. but still. I knew what was on the horizon #it's just that what I thought was a wave is actually a tsunami

[mcybree]

hi, different love anon here because i think the original one was onto something, we should send each other more love anons.

first of all, as love anon 1 said it, your analysis posts are amazing. they're very well written from a formal perspective, and even if one doesn't know anything about the blue guy and the yellow guy in your posts, you still manage to make the reader care about them. and you clearly do care a lot. and i think that's beautiful.

also, can we talk about the fact that you have sources for basically everything you say? that's criminally underappreciated, especially knowing how hard compiling sources is. and also knowing how long your posts can get.

then there's also the art. beyond the things love anon 1 (lanon?) already said, your colour choices and compositions are really awesome. it's clearly visible that you understand how it all works.

i just proofread my ask and as a tl;dr it all boils down to this: i think it's the greatest thing ever that you're so passionate about something, keep doing what you're doing 👍

aannnd that's it! :) have a great (remaining week) and i wish you the best of luck for beast life 👽

ORNOENCJEJCBECOENCOENCOEBSWVDIZOWBDJW THE END HIT ME SO SO HARD. OKU ARE YOU HERE?? OKU ARE YOU IN THE ROOM WITH US????? SPEAK TO ME OKU

#isnt oku away right now actually. which one of you beast life fuckers did this #it might not even be one i know that well… this is like if the boogeyman was nice #also thank you #the sources thing is from when i thought i was crazy for my interpretation and needed to prove to Myself that there was evidence #I always want it to be easy to fact check my stuff. for science. or in case anyone else isn’t normal in the same ways i am #I FUCKING LOVE TIMESTAMPS!!!!!!!! #also yeah this is all really nice thank you… same with lanon. sorry you didnt get much of a response lanon i had to stare at the ceiling #btw yeah next beast life is going to be awesome. trust me love anon 2. everything is about to get so awesome on that server #proving oku alien theory RIGHT!!!!!!!! With HARD EVIDENCE!!!!!!! 🌕🌕🌕🌕💥💥 #asks #fav

[spotaus]

Fun fact: Dream and Nightmare in my Ec-4o.verse setting are a package deal! They're both robots (Ectos) but their designs directly compliment eachother. Dream is (practically) an infinite power source for magical/electrical energy. Nightmare is a walking EMP that short-circuits all tech around him.

Their settings can be changed to be more or less intense, but Nightmare must be within a 2 mile radius of Dream or else he'll shut down, and Dream will start to overheat if he's too far from Night for too long.

There's a bit of animosity between them (largely due to Pre-war factors) but by the time they enter the story they're back on speaking terms.

#at one point they looked the same minus their chosen color palettes (unique to their models) but when the war started the Gov. overhauled #Nightmare's casing and added a few new features. #Dream was their constant power source abd back-uo generator while Nightmare made sure no one got in or out with unwanted tech. #both brothers can sense emotions (but like. in a Robot Biological way that a lot of Ectos can) #so their gimmick now is that they can perfectly sense a device's battery life. which helps them determine which of them needs to be nearby #fir example: Cross really enjoys Nightmare's company so he tends to stick close to him but Cross can get self-destructive about letting #Night drain his battery (because he's 'had worse') and Dream usually has to pry Cross away from his twin to hang out and/or go charge solo #meanwhile Ink loves hanging around Dream because he “feels so alive!” and he often forgets that Dream is a walking battery #ec-4o.verse #ec-4o!dream #ec-4o!nightmare #I think technically they're both malfunctioning and it's a defect #but it can't be “fixed” withiut destroying their memory drives and they refuse to do that (they'd need a full Core/Soul remodel)

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i really do love practicing 🎻

#i'm in music school so now it's a much more significant source of my already very significant fears #but practicing only feels stressful when i don't do it enough and i'm trying to 'catch up' #some weeks fly past me like hurricanes and i get to my lesson and i can't say i've made any progress and that fucks me up #and i don't think that's ever going away- like i'll always have weeks like that cuz everyone has bad days and bad weeks #from time to time #but when i plan correctly (which is becoming more and more the norm for me) my practicing is something im really proud of :) #i have a System. i didn't do very well before i had it and i would die without it now. #i get excited about learning! i get excited having realizations abt things to change or work on when i practice! #it feels experimenty a lot of the time and i like it!!! #i have a lot of catching up to do in terms of comparing myself to others but i'm not here for them i'm here for me #i will do my best and i will learn from others of course but my goals are to make my Me better first and worry abt other people later #i won't lose sight of that #<- and when it doesn't feel experimenty it can be calming to just be like okay ik what i need to do now just. Practice. Repeat. #i mean music is a fucking rollercoaster and sometimes you are at the bottom and i hate that but it comes w the territory #sometimes you're just Stuck but you do get past it and in those moments i just try to think back to previous times ive felt like that #ive felt horribly shitty before and gotten through it and come out the other side slightly better! #life is like that i think #anyways. hashtag iris loves music and being a musician 🙄 nothing new over here hehe

[simplydnp]

char, you're so so strong and i'm proud of you <3 i'm glad dnp and the community can be a source of strength and joy for you and i hope all your problems can get solved soon cause i feel like you're such a genuine and lovely person

aww katie thank you 🥺 i'm doing my best--some days i've only got 30% in me, other days are better. i'm trying to be kind to myself during this time, and one of the best ways, i find, to do that is to share joy. let myself feel excitement and happiness, send that message, buy that thing (within reason, as i'm currently at a place i am able to do so)--and do my best to be present with those around me (especially the ones who do the same for me). we've got a special community here and i'm grateful every day that there are lovely people for me to get to interact with all the time. it's truly an honour and a privilege, and i don't take it for granted 💞

#i talk about how im so glad that i decided to make a whole new blog to dive back into dnp content. and i really am. #one of the best decisions i could have made honestly #and it's especially funny because today i hit a follower milestone. one that my original blog never did (even while in a much larger fandom) #i make posts and people engage with them. and as someone who *needs* the social interaction right now and doesnt have other sources of it #i feel like i'm being heard. i'm seen. even if it's the furthest thing from the truth in other aspects of my life #and its not about the number--its about the connection. saying something that resonates with people. it's all ive ever wanted in life #thank u for giving me an outlet to be sappy katie ☺️ you're lovely and i appreciate you #dnp #c.text #answered

[widevibratobitch]

aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.

#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol #anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly #but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size #acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years #and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating #(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive #when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time) #and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die. #and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well #and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom #and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao #like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is #anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus. #but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333 #god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by #but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr #anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help. #but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation. #i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.

[yourcalamity]

im about to have such a potent opportunity to disappear into the woods forever it itches

#i wonder how long it would take anyone to figure it out lol #youre welcome future coldcase vloggers #but for the record if i do mysteriously vanish no its not because of my job #must be said because thats the easiest explanation people come up with yeah it would be convenient right #if i could just get a new job and suddenly everything in my life will be fixed and all of the other blatant issues clearly coming from other #sources will cease to exist #also therapy and meds will do the same thing. i might as well walk up to a stranger and ask them to snap their fingers and cure me #just as long as the hand i turn to for help points in another direction technically im being ‘helped’ right #life is just a fight and you have to keep fighting for yourself and others and hope one day someone is going to fight for you #and when people dont fight for you when you need them to it becomes clear that you dont even need to fight. it would be easier to lose #you already upset them by not fighting for yourself and instead of fighting for you now theyre fighting againt you. do you really want to #fight harder. do you really want to fight people you love. no one wants that #ive been so emotionally destroyed these past years and idk if i will ever recover or find worth in myself again #and if i got a new job tomorrow at the most comfortable high paying company in the world with a one day work week and unlimited pto #i would still feel worthless because of the experiences ive had and the way everyobe has brushed over them as if i cant feel emotion #i have been carrying so much hurt #now im going home to say goodbye to the remains of a stranger who wouldve disowned me had we ever spoken on even ground #but sure i will enjoy my trip