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lyssismagical · 4 years

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Boy, I'm so happy, we have been heaven-blessed

Parkner Week Day Eight: “Get some rest tall child” / cuddling / movie nights

“Babe, babe, babe, babe-”

“Oh my god, what do you want?” Peter says. He sounds annoyed, but Harley knows better. “I’m trying to work, believe it or not.”

“I believe it. You don’t have to convince me on that.” Harley sits up on Peter’s bed, rolling his eyes for the thousandth time since he’d gotten to Peter’s dorm room. “Why am I here when you’re not even paying attention to me? You’re not even looking at me.”

“I don’t have to see you to know you’re pouting like a baby,” Peter mutters, scribbling some more words down into his notebook with his pen. He shoves the pen between his teeth so he could flip through his heavy textbook and try to find a page in the stack next to him.

Harley sighs dramatically. “But I’m your baby, aren’t I? Doesn’t that mean I’m allowed to pout?”

“Stop pouting and stop whining. I’m trying to work, Harls.”

“How do you know I’m pouting if you won’t even look at me?” Harley exclaims, throwing his arms up in frustration. It started out as a game, but now he’s starting to feel a little bit cast aside.

“Are you pouting?”

“…Maybe.”

Peter finally sets down his pen and turns to Harley from his desk, a smile gracing his lips. He looks pretty as always, but Harley can’t help but notice how tired he looks.

“Ned said he was going to move out if he found us in the same bed again,” Peter says instead of acknowledging their entire conversation. “I think he was serious. MJ’s roommate doesn’t live with her anymore.”

Harley rolls his eyes and dramatically flops back onto the bed. “When was the last time we went on an actual date?”

“We went out last weekend, Harley.” Peter’s still smiling, but there’s insecurity shining in his eyes, eyebrows creasing a little more than Harley would like.

“I just miss you.”

“You miss me?” Peter repeats. “Yet you’ve been literally lying a few feet away from me for the past two hours. I’m right here, Harley.”

Harley tips his head to the side, breathing in the soft scent of Peter on the pillow. “But I should be your number one priority.”

“Number one?”

“Mmhm, you’ll never get a catch like me ever again. I’m one of a kind, baby.”

Peter finally gives in and crawls into the bed beside Harley, unceremoniously dropping half onto Harley’s chest. Harley immediately wraps his arms around Peter’s waist, making sure Peter couldn’t leave even if he wanted to. Harley’s getting cuddles for as long as he wants them.

“You have no idea,” Peter mumbles, words muffled by Harley’s sweater.

Harley grins and presses a kiss to Peter’s hair. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Now, get some rest, tall child.”

“You know, I thought you were going to murder me when we first met,” Harley says, out of the blue on the next morning. They’re still in bed despite it being way past the appropriate time for sleeping in, even for a weekend. “I literally thought you were going to poison my food or something.”

“What?” Peter says, stifling his laughter. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought you’d be as jealous as I was, I just figured you’d act on that jealousy and murder me so you’d be Tony’s only intern.”

This time, Peter does laugh, hiding his flushed face in Harley’s shoulder. “You thought I would get so jealous, I would poison your food? You know how crazy that sounds, right?”

“I thought about killing you. I just knew it was an irrational idea, I didn’t know if you’d think it was irrational too.”

Peter bites on his bottom lip, trying to quiet his laughter. It makes his cheeks puff up a little bit like chipmunks, face rosy and eyes sparkling.

“I can’t believe you thought, even for a moment, that killing me was the appropriate reaction to being jealous.”

“I’m from Tennessee, Peter. Anything goes.”

Peter ducks his head again, muffling his laughter in Harley’s sweater. “That’s- I can’t believe you.”

“Tony thought so too!” Harley exclaims. Peter doesn’t have to see to know Harley’s rolling his eyes. “Maybe not that we’d kill each other, but he thought we’d hate each other.”

“No,” Peter says, voice dropping to a little more serious. “I knew from that first moment I saw you that this was going to be something special.”

Harley smiles, going all soft and mushy in a heartbeat. “I love you like an insane amount. Like I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do if you asked. I’ve never felt like this before, and if I’m being honest, it really scares me sometimes.”

The younger of the two leans up to press a kiss to the older’s jaw. “You don’t have to be scared. I feel the same way, there’s no way I’m breaking your heart. It’s safe with me.”

“I know. Your heart’s safe with me too.”

“Good. Now that we’ve napped and talked, do you think you could let me get back to my homework now? I never got to finish it yesterday thanks to you.”

Harley laughs, relinquishing his grip on his boyfriend’s waist. “I should probably get going anyways. I’ve got a study group in a bit and then I’ve got a few errands to run in the city. Oh, and I think my sister’s calling to make spring break plans this afternoon.”

“You’re spending spring break with your sister?”

“I don’t know if you’ve forgotten but Abbie’s going to UCLA. Her roommate’s boyfriend’s parents are super rich salespeople who are taking the roommate and boyfriend to Europe with them while they’re there for business. Abbie volunteered to housesit and pet-sit. Meaning…”

“Meaning she’s got a huge house to herself in California all week?”

Harley grins. “Precisely. If you want, I was thinking the two of us could crash with her all week. Morgan’s on her break too, and she’s offered to pay to fly us all out.”

“Morgan and Abbie in the same house for a whole week?” Peter repeats, rolling his eyes but the smile doesn’t even falter.

Laughing, Harley finally pulls away from Peter, stretching his arms. “Yeah, it’ll be interesting, for sure… I’ll let you get back to your homework. You want me to swing by again tonight?”

“Please?”

The one thing that’s been weird since they started school is that they have separate rooms. Harley lives on the other side of campus, closer to his own classes, so it’s normally easier for them to spend nights in their own rooms, despite being used to the opposite. Back in high school, May’s apartment was closer to Midtown than the Tower, so Harley would stay with Peter for conveniences sake, and weekends they spent together at the Tower.

Today’s a Saturday, though, so neither of them have obligations tomorrow.

Harley grins, leaning back to press a kiss to Peter’s forehead before he’s tugging on his shoes.

“I’ll stop at mine and grab some clothes and things, and I’ll be over this evening. Six?”

“Sounds good. Movie night?”

Opening up the door, Harley shoots a final smile over his shoulder. “I’ll bring snacks! I love you. See you tonight.”

“I love you too.”

The door shuts behind Harley and Peter falls back into his bed, breathing in the soft smell of Harley, boyish with a hint of the Tennessee smoke that he carries with him, and a bit of the cinnamon body wash he uses. He smiles up at the ceiling, feeling so warm with love and happiness.

* Late that evening, after Peter’s finished his homework from the week and cleaned his room and finished some laundry, after Harley showed up in a flurry of excitement and lit up joy, carrying a shopping bag of snacks for the night along with a few selections from his DVD collection, after they’ve made it through way too many snacks and a few movies, they’re curled up, trying not to fall asleep.

“I wanna marry you one day,” Harley blurts and then he laughs, no awkwardness or worry to it.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I wanna do one of those fancy weddings with all the components like the big, tiered cake, and the expensive suits, and the cute RSVP cards in the mail. Abbie and Morgan could be the flower girls or the ring bearers. Ned and Harry could be our best men and Cassie, MJ, and Gwen could all be our bridesmaids or whatever they’d be. We’d do one of those over-the-top bachelor parties, except we’d do it together because it wouldn’t be as fun to party without you. Tony would have to walk one of us down the aisle because May and Mom would want to do it. Or maybe Tony could officiate. And then we’d get on a plane the next morning for a crazy honeymoon.”

Peter smiles fondly, snuggling closer to his boyfriend and nearly knocking the laptop off their legs. “You’ve really thought about this, huh? Is this your way of proposing?”

“No,” Harley laughs. “I don’t have a ring and I’m going to do it right, when I do. The whole shebang. The expensive dinner, the dramatic speech, maybe I’ll do the stupid ring in the wine or something.”

He shakes his head against Harley’s chest. “I’d accidentally drink it. Don’t do that.”

Harley laughs again, peppering kisses over Peter’s face. “I just really want you to know that this is a forever thing, for me, you know? I want us to be forever. I want us to get engaged, to move in together, to get married, maybe we could think about kids. I’d even go for the white picket fence future if that’s what you wanted.”

“You’re such a sap,” Peter teases before he kisses Harley. “I want that too. Trust me, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina @spidey-reids-2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester @emo-girl10 @justme--emily @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad @lilacsandlilies4 {Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}

#lyss writes #parkner week 2020 #parkner #peter parker #harley keener #parkner fic

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a-lbeit · 3 years

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2020: a goddamn year in review

man oh man

rang in the new year drunk as hell with incredible company at a party we crashed; kissed at least 3 people

went to work the next morning still drunk and laughed all through my shift. it was blake, abby, and jacob’s last day

tried sushi for the first time and had one last juke joint evening before britt left

discovered the roof next to carnegie with rozi

slept over at blake’s apartment with britt the night before we all had to move out and the program officially ended. it was a nice way to end it. man, who knew what was to come with the rest of the year

finally saw the holiday version of small world the last night that the park had the holiday decorations up. looking back, i sure am glad i was able to see that

blake was able to continue living in carnegie because of his professional internship. rozi and i snuck in and slept over at his place once or twice, running through the halls before the new set of CPs moved in. most of the apartments were unlocked, so we went up and saw our old place all empty and dark. we all climbed up to lyndsay’s top bunk and blake put his head on me. the next morning, we were all having breakfast when a couple of cleaning people came in lmfao

got a spot for the cast preview of rise of the resistance. that’s a fucking cool ride, i gotta give it up

went to the autopia drive-in. that was certainly something i’ll be forever grateful was able to happen. we all sat in the cars and watched incredibles 2 with hella snacks. it was unique and memorable and special. i remember sitting next to benny in the break room, although we didn’t know each other at that point

went to an event in la with rozi, taleeah, taleeah’s sister, and her boyfriend (now her fiancé, soon to be husband). got as drunk as i did on new year’s, ate some random hot wings, and puked in the uber. yikes

called in an hour late to work the next day, even though my start time was already at 1pm lmao. i remember talking to matt about the night. i miss him sometimes.

went on my first hike since my ankle broke. what a joyous moment, sincerely. to be back on my feet, in my hiking boots, on dirt, climbing between the valleys and hilltops. that first moment when the world is gracious enough to let you return to a large raison d’être. you feel indebted, truly. you feel like things really will be all right in the end. it is like nothing else--pure, fresh, and humbling.

got closer with my coworkers. i still miss them like hell. i think i always will. there was so much we were going to do together. i began to realize that i felt happiest at work.

one day at work, my coworker brenda and i were Y1 and Y2, and my coworker benny was track 2 line 3. he came up and told me something, i believe a joke about how he couldn’t hear my spiel (i’d always be pretty loud during my spiels lmao, enough for a couple of my leads to tell me to quiet down a bit). when he went back, brenda leaned across and said that she thought he thought i was cute. i’ll always remember that moment, i think. i still think about whether the guests waiting in the cars heard her and tuned into the gossip. i was taken aback, to say the least. i thought he was cool, but he hadn’t really been on my radar. that changed right then.

a few days later, i came back up to her and asked if she meant what she said. she said yeah, and asked if i thought he was cute. i said i think so. a few days after that, it was a rainy day and auto was closed. i was talking to her and asked her why she thought that. she finally told me that she’d heard it from her close friend josh, who hung out with benny. i was honestly fucking shook lmao. it was all so juvenile, but it was fun to think about.

went to troy’s birthday party, expecting to see benny. he didn’t show, but i had a great time anyway. i got the kind of drunk where you’re still in control, but you feel like you’re on top of the world.

had a lunch and park date with lexi and cassie. i told them about benny, and when cassie and i rode autopia, he was at auto 3 and we pretended our car had broken down. he played along.

went to alejandra’s 21st birthday party. i wasn’t too close to her; i only knew her through rozi. i’m glad we got so much closer over the course of the year.

my self-confidence sort of skyrocketed. i bought new clothes and felt almost beautiful for once.

went to the cast preview of the new parade that was going to be at disneyland. lmfao that sure did go to shit.

had a beautiful day at the parks with my coworkers. i wish i could have attended more of those days, but things changed quickly, as we all know.

finally got off probation at work (which had been paused for the 3 months i was on medical leave) and found out i had been okayed to learn the nemo ride. i was excited to learn a second ride so soon after my probation ended, and i was excited that it was so unique. i mean, driving a submarine? come on. people may think it’s a lame attraction, but it’s not something you see everywhere. plus, it was also the other ride that benny knew. i had been trying to interact with him more at work in that coy way you might see in high school flirtation. like i said, it was juvenile. i claim it.

started working toward becoming a trainer—lexi was really helpful, and it was nice to talk with anthony and jeff about it and to know that all these leads thought i would be a good pick

found out through brenda that billy thinks i’m hot LMFAO. an ego booster of sorts

my new coworker melissa started getting closer to me, and she’d message me and text me. she eventually said she was interested in me, and i was a little on edge for a while, but we’re close now. i like her a lot. (her ex ended up also sort of coming on to me months later lmao)

the week before the closure came about, went to arizona with rozi and blake to visit britt. what a weekend. it was short, but certainly meaningful. we were able to meet and hang out with her beautiful family, catch up, have some great laughs, eat fire food (including my first dutch bros experience 👀), and explore a new area. it was my first time in arizona, and we got to see a tiny bit of phoenix and spent a windy afternoon in flagstaff. i feel like that was the last time things were so easy between all of us.

started training at nemo for the majority of what would become the last week i would be working before the closure, which was announced only like 3 days before it actually happened.

slept over at trev’s LMFAO

passed my PA on thursday amidst a weird 101 with the attraction. i remember looking across the way at my coworkers in the auto pit (because autopia also had to go down when nemo was down), and benny saw me and waved at me, and then everyone else did, too. a nice moment. a small group of them finished their shift when i was at greeter at nemo, and when they walked by, they all waved again.

after the closure was announced--something that was so unprecedented but also not taken seriously (it was just going to be a 2 week vacation, right? corona wasn’t that big a deal)--i picked up billy’s opening shift for friday, march 13th, the last day before the closure. i wasn’t excited for this “vacation” (like i said, i was happiest when i was at work. i was going to miss that place for the 2 weeks it would supposedly be closed), so i was very grateful to work once more at auto, one of my favorite places to be. it rained all morning, and we were only open for maybe an hour or so. i did a track walk with lexi, and i goofed around with all my friends. it was michelle’s birthday, so some of us brought some food for a potluck. i had lowkey hoped to see benny, but he didn’t work that day. oh well. it was a really great shift that would end up being my last, something that is so strange to say even after all this time. i even got up the courage to ask anthony to write a letter of rec for me for grad school.

a couple hours later, i met up with rozi and alejandra as guests in the park to get in some final fun before (what we thought would be) the 2-week closure. it was incredible, and at the end of the night, all the characters lined up at the train station to wave bye to us all. i know it’s disney and cringy, but i felt warm, albeit a little on edge.

the next evening, got pizza with some coworkers and went back to one of their houses. it was actually the brother of my nemo trainer lmfao. i followed benny on instagram that night while sitting at the dining room table. like 5 minutes later, he followed me back.

a day or two later, had brunch with some other coworkers before everything shut down for real. i’m grateful for kiley for arranging those types of get-togethers.

before the closure got extended indefinitely, before i started wearing a mask, before we really came to understand the gravity of covid, we had fun for a couple weeks. rozi and i went back to the roof next to carnegie with blake and we got caught. we went on a couple hikes. we’d go on almost daily evening walks and we’d do stairs in the morning. went to the beach. i really started to get into exercising, since i was no longer able to get the 20,000 steps i’d log at work each day. did those instagram tag games with my coworkers. engaged in all the activities that the early naïveté surrounding the pandemic brought, like whipped coffee. things weren’t great, but they were all right. we were still getting paid by disney, something that i do have to give props to the corporation for. they did what they could while they could.

taleeah, rozi, and i all finally united over our mutual dislike of our other roommate. i started to avoid being in the same place as her, so i’d often sit on the floor in the living room since we didn’t have any furniture at the time. i sort of miss it.

rozi moved out at the end of march. we hadn’t found anyone to replace her. we started splitting the rent evenly 3 ways. was it fair? not necessarily, but i mean, it wouldn’t have been fair any other way, either. that’s the way it goes. and you have to accept it.

benny remained in the back of my mind. my coworkers would have zoom calls, and i joined a couple of them at the beginning of quarantine. it was nice to talk to them, although i mostly just listened to their conversations. i hate video calls.

even though the closure was indefinite, we all kept saying we’d be back by june, august at the latest.

blake got laid off and ended up driving back home to tennessee. i hate that i cried when we said goodbye.

rozi came back to visit for the first time at the beginning of may

started getting a bit creative with my meals. just a bit

my unemployment finally started coming in, and i felt rich for a minute

rozi would come back about once a month or so. we’d take nice photos, get açaí and coffee, and pretend everything was gonna be over soon

rozi, blake, britt, and i all talked about meeting up again. we decided to fly out to tennessee at the end of july, coinciding with my birthday, actually. we bought our tickets and had plans to stay with blake and his family. it was going to be a beautiful reunion.

paid off my credit card for the first time since the end of 2017 (after having to load it up during my medical leave when i was the brokest i’ve ever been). it was incredibly freeing.

mindy moved back to oc, and we hung out for the first time since florida. it was a nice reunion, and i’m glad to have her as a friend who lives nearby

the end of may rolled around, and in the days following george floyd’s murder, there sure was a big change all around. the fire died down eventually, like it always does, but it hit harder this time around. saw one of my coworkers at the protest i attended. it was, and still is, a moving time marked so clearly with disgusting and incessant realities.

daisy moved in. i’m so incredibly grateful we’ve crossed paths. she is genuine and generous and a kind soul.

got açaí and coffee and went mini-golfing with rozi and a couple of her friends for her birthday. left my sunglasses at the course, took a chance and went back to look for them, and was overjoyed when i saw them resting at the 14th hole. thank you, whoever you were who put them there rather than taking them.

dalenna went out of town for 10 whole and beautiful days, and i completed the chloe ting 2 week shred. i’m so glad i did. it was the beginning of workouts that i actually enjoy doing and feel accomplished about doing. i feel strong and i look strong now, and i really do feel sort of indebted to chloe, as stupid as that sounds. seeing the bones in my hands, i like myself nowadays. i still treat myself probably way too much, but i feel disciplined.

started graduate school, something that i’m still shook was possible during these times

had a picnic with some coworkers, the first time i’d seen them in months. catching up with them was like nothing else

bought roller skates lmfao, and went roller skating with mindy because the rink reopened for a while

a couple days later, went back with rozi and taleeah

we ended up cancelling our plans to fly out to visit blake. covid was hard to deal with, obviously. it didn’t seem safe, and things didn’t seem right—with the world and within our group. i really hate what’s become of it. i miss the relationship i had with blake before rozi joined in, if i’m being honest.

tried to skate outside of a rink, but it’s just not for me lmao. i’m happy to have my own pair for whenever the rinks reopen again, though

for the 4th of july, taleeah and i got bomb food and ate in a park. i’ve really grown so close to her over the past half year or so, and i’m thankful for it. we’re different, for sure, but i think that she and i have a very similar understanding of life.

my ipod had broken a couple months back, and i finally bought a new one, although i didn’t actually set it up with my music until months later

went to laughlin with alejandra, taleeah, and rozi for a couple days. we melted in the triple digit heat, got a lot of dutch bros, did a drive-by of vegas (my first ever view of it—what a sight to see, all empty but still lit up), swam in lake mohave, and even drove over to the grand canyon for a day. i couldn’t help but be smitten with the grandeur of that part of the country. alejandra threw up several times while we were doing a hike, but she never stopped smiling and laughing and even flirting with a man from iowa. i admire and respect her endlessly.

for a few days, that instagram meme of random names being put on random objects (like a frog or a seinfeld screen cap) was huge. i went through many of those, sending them to everyone. i sent a couple to benny. and i even said fuck it and sent one to tucker. he responded almost immediately and we started catching up. it was strange, but it was so incredibly nice. i told him my grievances, and he apologized. and we started talking like old friends again.

went to downtown disney on the 65th anniversary of disneyland opening. a strange sort of homecoming in the midst of crippling uncertainty (something that still overwhelms me--but at least i’m not in the purgatory of furlough anymore. at least I know my fate)

with my birthday coming up, i had decided to rent a car for a few days (i had a couple free days with hertz) to explore southern california a bit, an activity long overdue. on disneyland’s birthday, there was a special zoom call that my coworkers were having, and i hopped on it for a while. benny was on it, like he always was. part of my plan—the main part, actually—was to go to salvation mountain, slab city, and the salton sea. i told everyone about it, and benny and i got to talking about it for a couple minutes because he had done a photoshoot there for his band. it was the most we’d talked in months. then i got off the call to facetime tucker LMFAO. we flirted a bit. we hung up after a while and i actually got back on the zoom call because i felt so good. that evening was a real high for me, socially speaking.

in the days and weeks that passed, tucker and i got close again. he’d call me cute and say he missed me. he was into me again, that’s for damn sure. it was nice for a minute. i even thought about flying out east to visit my parents and to see him in december

2 days before my birthday, i drove around all day, up to solvang and san luis obispo and back down to malibu to try to see the comet that was rolling through. it was pretty stupid of me to think malibu would be a good place to see it. it was cloudy as hell, but it was still beautiful. then i drove home along the worst part of the PCH just because it was the PCH. the next evening, taleeah and i went to the top of the world in laguna and we think we saw it. several people had the same idea, but i enjoyed the sense of community we all had. earlier in the day, i had driven to the us-mexico border where the PCT starts and walked along the first mile or so. it was incredible to see that in person. maybe one day, i’ll see it as a thru-hiker. who really knows. anyway, after the comet, we drove back home and stopped to get my free dozen birthday doughnuts from krispy kreme.

the next day was my birthday. the night before, i asked taleeah if i should invite our other roommate. we decided it was probably a good idea to, just to be nice, even though we don’t like her. it was very last-minute of us, so we thought she’d say no. she said yes. lmao. it was pretty fun, though, and i’m glad i invited her. it’s nice to be inclusive. we drove to the desert, blasting my music that i so rarely get to blast while driving. seeing salvation mountain in person was a really fascinating experience. it was faded from the sun and it was empty. sheer beauty. i love the unassuming presence of the whole area and how everyone lives off the grid. then, we went to bombay beach and the salton sea. the gritty art next to the toxic waters made for some really fucking cool vibes. it was hot as hell, of course, and i didn’t mind, but dalenna did get a bit overheated. she doesn’t drink water, ever. it was all right, though. she was a trooper, i’ll give her that. i had a great day, and i hope taleeah and dalenna did, as well. we ended the day in riverside, seeing the mission inn that my father and his sisters often speak of.

i got so many birthday messages that day (including from benny). it made me feel really loved

honestly, i loved that rental car. the sound system was crystal clear

i had gotten really fucking tan by this point, since i’d go on walks and be outside so often. the socal kiss of summer really is something

did the hollywood hike for the first time with matty. seeing those letters up close and personal makes you really think about the history of the area, the rich (albeit troubled) cultural history of the silver screen

got extremely drunk with rozi at my apartment and facetimed tucker. it was the beginning of the end with that, even though he said he would love to have me over

reached the end of my first quarter of grad school. the last day, i took the train into la and met up with rozi so that we could gallivant around the city in an attempt to find billboards advertising blackbear’s new album—there was a contest on twitter that rozi was trying to win. it was one of the best days, really. we went to the grove and the pink wall and a bit of the abandoned la zoo. it was so fucking hot, but it didn’t even matter. when i got back to anaheim, i submitted my final group project and even had time to meet up with a few coworkers in a park to doodle and gossip. one of my favorite days of the year, honestly

the next day, i treated myself to my free bagel and cream cheese from bruegger’s and a latte, ate in the noguchi garden that i love so much, and ordered a new computer (which came with free airpods). the computer took a month to get here, but i had my airpods 2 days later

then, a couple days after that, rozi and i went on the road trip of the year all the way to portland (i won’t say exactly how many times we stopped at dutch bros, but it was...a lot)

we started off by driving to this kitschy western-themed shop about 3 hours north. then we drove all the way to redding in norcal

the next morning, we did a hike in shasta national forest. seeing snow on the mountain in august was like nothing else. it finally felt like fall

on we went, getting a quick photo in the town of weed, of course, before making our way to bend, oregon, to see the last blockbuster standing. i bought a tote bag. it’s one of those things you just have to do. we finally rolled into portland at the end of the night

the next day, we explored the city a bit before meeting up with my friend katie who i met while working in florida. it was so fucking beautiful to see her again. we reminisced and caught up and she showed us around her neck of the woods in vancouver

the day after was a hiking day for sure. rozi and i went to multnomah falls, one of those things you always see in photos and feel so lucky to be able to see in person, and then to the bridge of the gods, where cheryl strayed ended her PCT hike. walking across that bridge was another favorite moment of my year. then we wound up in mt hood national forest. the hike we did had wild huckleberries along much of the trail that we snacked on, feeling like true foragers. again, the snow on the mountain makes you feel some type of way.

our last day in that area, we drove through some of washington, stopping at some ice caves and then going all the way to mt st helens. crazy stuff. we vowed to come back to do the hike around the crater someday

our journey back began, and we drove down the oregon coast. those cloudy beaches and coastal drives are something of an emblem of the tail end of a PNW summer, it seems.

the last day of the trip, we met up with rozi’s friend in sausalito, gazing out at sf across the bay, and then with her other friend in carmel (after driving over the golden gate and blasting scott mckenzie’s “san francisco,” something that just must be done). i want to have a more prolonged experience in the monterey area. so unique a place.

seeing the skies tinged orange from all the forest fires was something else. what a year of burning.

slept over at trev’s again lmao, maybe for the last time. had the best kind of la day afterwards, wandering celebrity graves at the hollywood forever cemetery and treating myself to bougie drinks at peet’s and groundwork coffee at the grove. i even saw the charmed house before taking the train back. it was the one-year anniversary of breaking my ankle and i had grown so much, come so far, felt so full. even if the midst of all the shit, i was happy. happiness despite my surroundings is sort of a theme of the year, as tone-deaf as that may sound. i am content with my life, sure, but i am not blind to the despair.

got really pissed at and hurt by tucker again, and learned my lesson this time. his mixed signals sure are something else. whatever. we’re cool now, friendly acquaintances.

my next quarter of school started. 4 classes, all for free (i’d done 3 the previous quarter). i always try to remember how goddamn lucky i am, even when i’m feeling lazy

the one-year anniversary of my surgery passed on september 26th. again, i couldn’t believe how fortunate i had been with my recovery journey. i am indebted to that injury more than i can fathom. it brought the change i had been in desperate need of. i was happy previously. a little too naive, though. that injury developed me and made appreciate so, so much the life that i have, the abilities and strength that i have. over a year later, and here i am, still writing about it as if it happened a month ago. i’m thankful for that test.

took a trip to santa barbara for the weekend with rozi and taleeah. rozi showed us around her old stomping grounds from when she attended UCSB, and we chilled out in some hot springs. we stopped in oxnard on the way back and hung out with taleeah’s family, going fishing and eating lunch with them.

i saw on benny’s band’s instagram that they were having a real live show the day we were coming back. i was disappointed i couldn’t go, since i wasn’t in the area. i’d always wanted to go to one of his shows. i hoped there would be more.

my new computer finally came in lmao

a couple days later, went to san diego for the weekend, this time with rozi and alejandra. we got to know the city a bit; it was a short introduction but i enjoyed the beach and the architecture. we all even played crazy 8s with tucker

amidst all of that, 28k layoffs at disney were announced. we knew in the back of our minds that we’d be a part of those.

the movies theaters reopened, and i started going again. it was a nice, simple way to spend my evenings.

the conflict between armenia and azerbaijan escalated around this time, and rozi was deeply affected, of course understandably so. i can’t empathize with what she was going through, but i really felt for her. and i checked up on her. but she ghosted everyone and was really sort of tunnel-visioned about how people should react to and discuss the conflict. and i realized that i had come to rely on her presence too much. so i distanced myself from her. i also realized that she is most of the reason that britt, blake, she, and i aren’t as close as we once were. she has a very dominating presence, and i’ve realized that i don’t like that things often have to be on her terms or are dictated by her—not in terms of what we do, but in terms of the general vibe of a relationship. so i keep that in mind now. i love her, truly. but i’ve been able to step back. i don’t jump to text her whenever i have news anymore. maybe that will change again. but anyway.

hiked in crystal cove again, the first hike i had done after my ankle healed back in january, this time for one of my classes. it was a really nice day to myself

submitted my absentee ballot. i really didn’t know what was going to happen. it sure was a case of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

did my first hike with daisy and rich, something that became incredibly fun the few times we did it, even though this first time, we didn’t get too far. we’re hoping to get back into it relatively soon

did the hollywood hike again with matty

went with taleeah to get her tattoo. she got the email about getting laid off that morning, but she didn’t let it get to her. a couple days later, i got my email.

i had seen that benny’s band was doing another show, and i was determined to go. taleeah said she would go with me. i was scared as hell, but i messaged my coworker troy and asked him about it, since he’d gone the show a couple weeks prior. it looked like a real possibility. i didn’t message benny at all LMFAO

on october 30, i got my eyebrow pierced. it was something i’d had in the back of my mind for years. now that i didn’t have to worry about staying in disney look anymore, i decided to say to hell with it. later that day, i did go to benny’s show. another one of my favorite days of the year, for sure.

i was messaging troy beforehand so that i could meet up with him. i was too scared to go with only taleeah. i needed someone that benny and i both knew there.

i saw benny, and avoided him like hell. i hadn’t been this nervous in a long time.

troy finally showed up with his girlfriend, and we all talked for a while. finally, benny was about to go on, and he was putting his instruments on the stage. he saw me. did a double take. put down his drum immediately to hug me. it was nice.

after his set, taleeah and i sat at a table outside, and this other person we’d been talking to, brandy, sat next to taleeah and talked with us. then benny joined, sitting next to me. we talked all night. 6 hours absolutely flew by. i was on cloud 9. we all made a group chat to go hiking. and it actually ended up working out. benny hugged me goodbye and asked for my number, although i merely said it was in the group chat LMAO

hiked again with daisy and rich, and we got farther this time. it was autumnal up there in the mountains.

went to a sexy santa halloween party that mindy threw. i looked good as hell

election day came and went without a winner. nerve-racking.

went to downtown disney with melanie and delaney. it was nice to catch up with them for the first time in months

biden was eventually officially projected to win. it was a surreal moment, a calming moment, a moment of peace. what a long, strange trip it’s been, that’s for damn sure.

actually went on a hike with brandy and benny. unfortunately, taleeah had been getting bad vertigo and had to bail. i couldn’t believe it had worked out in some form, though. i was hanging out with benny outside of work.

my quarter was once again coming to an end, and i finished it pretty unenthusiastically. although i had registered for the next quarter, i knew that with my impending layoff at the end of the year, i wouldn’t be able to continue on for free. eventually, i withdrew from the next quarter. i’ll probably pay out of pocket, but i’m still weighing my options. that was probably the most devastating part of my year. getting over halfway done with a master’s degree for free, well on my way to complete it in just one calendar year, and then having that ripped away. but i do try to remember that i got over halfway in 2 quarters. that’s nothing to sneeze at. and i’m beyond grateful. and i will finish it, hopefully in the next year or so.

brandy randomly called me a few days after our hike and asked if i wanted to do another hike. i said sure, although not that same day. we did another hike, this time just us two. i wondered if that meant anything. i hoped not. he did ask me out at the end of that hike. i turned him down, and it wasn’t a big deal at all. i’m very glad we’re friends. we continued to do hikes separate from the rest of the group, and i actually told him the next time about benny.

hiked with daisy and rich again, this time in snow. it was absolutely beautiful, although terrifying sometimes. what a way to kick off the holiday season.

benny invited us to a bonfire at his place, and i was the only one of our group to go. i met his friends

got my 1 year service pin LMFAO

started really going on weekly hikes with brandy, usually once during the week and one on the weekend with benny and taleeah, as well. the weekend get-togethers turned into sometimes doing stuff other than hiking

went to downtown disney and the newly opened buena vista street with rozi and alejandra. once again, i looked good as hell. rozi posted a picture of us all on her insta, and tucker hit me up LMFAOOOOOOO

zuri invited me to thanksgiving with her family. they were so fucking lovely and welcoming to me. i will never forget it.

the next day, met up with rozi in la and went to citywalk for the first time. then we went to hollywood blvd just because. we met up with alejandra and were tourists for a minute, ending the night at the grove, where we went to umami burger and i got a black burger bun that turned my shit green LMFAO

went with alejandra to get her tattoo. it was so much quicker than taleeah’s and i was surprised lol

went to company d a few times toward the end of the year, including once with mindy; afterwards, we went to the knott’s version of downtown disney

later that night (december 8th, to be exact), taleeah, brandy, benny, and i all went to downtown disney in the evening and then came back to our place to watch the princess bride. what a night. what was supposed to be an innocent wine and movie night turned into benny and i getting extremely, extremely drunk. we decided to put on white christmas after princess bride ended. that was when i was really starting to feel drunk. benny and i ended up on the couch together, and i was lying on him after a while. i remember pointing out how hot the skinny bitch in white christmas is, and i remember him saying that i have better curves than her. we sort of started flirting. the movie ended, and brandy needed to go home. benny ended up deciding to stay over. taleeah walked brandy down, and basically immediately after they left, i asked benny if he’d ever kissed anyone. he said no. i asked if he wanted to. he said yeah. we kissed. and then kissed some more. lmao. we laid together on the couch for the rest of the night, dozing off and kissing in between. we went to my apartment’s rooftop to see the sunrise and talked for a while. he left around 8am or so. we kissed goodbye. i sat on down on the couch and thought and thought and thought.

i was absolutely shook. goddamn. rozi came over later because we were going to go to laughlin again with alejandra for a few days. i enjoyed rehashing the events of the night.

we left for laughlin, and the morning of (in the dutch bros line, coincidentally), benny texted me to officially ask me out. it was cute.

it was great couple days—we went to the hoover dam and then to oatman, where there are wild burros that roam the streets of that dated section of route 66, and even spent a night in vegas at the stratosphere. rozi and i went on the rides at the top of it, which was fucking insane, and we all walked the strip, which i’d never done before. i always think of the partridge family when i think of vegas.

after coming back from laughlin, taleeah, brandy, benny, and i all went on a super short “hike” and then came back and watched white christmas for real this time. benny and i hadn’t gone out yet (this was the first time since that eventful drunken night), and we barely touched all night. all 3 of them separately told me how awkward it was, but i didn’t really think so.

finally went on our date. it was the first real date i’d ever been on, apart from the in n out thing tucker and i went on more than a year prior. it was cute, innocent. benny doesn’t drive, so he had his friend chauffeur us to this hipster food hall 😂. we ate and talked (i do lowkey hope to educate him on some social and economic issues), and then he had had plans for a bonfire at the beach, but it was getting late and the beach was closing. so, we went back to his place and had a bonfire there. he finally asked if he could kiss me again, and we ended up taking things back to his bedroom. it was really late by that point, and i didn’t want to make his friend drive me back home. so i stayed over. it was a good night. when i left in the morning, i told him to buy condoms.

brandy, benny, and i hiked black star canyon finally—a good hike, although we lost brandy for a bit because he was rock scrambling so much faster than us.

the evening of the 23rd, benny and i had our second date; we went mini golfing and then came back to my place because my roommate had thankfully left that morning to go home for the holiday. this was the first time i’d ever brought a guy to my place (apart from a couple hours at carnegie with tucker). we watched home alone 2 and a few episodes of seinfeld, and we finally had sex. it’s the only time we’ve done it so far just because it’s so goddamn hard for us to have time alone, but it was nice. i liked having him next to me in my own bed for once.

the next morning, he left. it was christmas eve. it was the best christmas eve ever—i ate a shitload of food and just chilled without having to deal with my roommate.

christmas morning, i woke up and had a lovely morning—worked out and chilled out and even had a zoom call with my family. daisy and rich invited to me to spend christmas dinner with them, which was such a kind gesture. we had delicious food and watched some of die hard and then the jim carrey version of a christmas carol. i came back for a peaceful evening by myself.

i was honestly missing benny and still had one more day before any of my roommates came home (and a few more days until my actual roommate came home), so i invited him to stay over again. i like just being in his presence.

brandy and i went on one final outing before the new year, working out and doing a short hike in bolsa chica. views of the snow-covered mountains on one side and the goddamn pacific ocean on the other made me think about the unusual, very particular perfection of southern california.

my roommates and i decided to have a very small kickback for new year’s eve. in the couple days leading up to it, we bought decorations and planned food. taleeah and i returned our costumes finally, the layoff to go into effect the next day. it was strange to think only now, 9 months since we’d last worked, were we to officially separate from the company. it was a good run.

that same day (the 30th), taleeah, brandy, benny, and i all had one final hangout of the year--a boat cruise in newport to see the holiday lights that the rich people put on their houses. benny put his arm around me. we were close to each other while we gazed at the lights. i was happy. one last bit of holiday fun before the worries of 2021 arrived at our doorstep.

new year’s eve started out uneventful, but became an incredible night. i wore a fucking hot dress. (it’s become so nice to see myself and be proud of the way i look. i know it’s probably shallow to have become so focused on the way my body looks, but i am proud. i have become strong. i have become pretty fit. and i like that about myself. i think it reflects something so much deeper about my outlook on life.) the only people we ended up having over were benny and taleeah’s date, martin. brandy ended up having a sinus infection and couldn’t make it last minute, and i had invited mindy and her boyfriend, but they spent the evening at his family’s house. so it was just taleeah, martin, benny, dalenna, and me. lmao. it was pretty fun, though, once the boys had arrived. we played a music trivia game, listened to music, and ate pizza. benny and i were the only ones really drinking, although taleeah had a bit, as well. a little before midnight, we found something to stream for west coast time, and when the clock struck midnight, we all toasted with the fancy prosecco that benny had brought (minus dalenna) and i kissed him. i’d never had a new year’s kiss, especially not one right at midnight. it was wonderful. and then we went onto the porch and blew our noisemakers and yelled out happy new year, and fellow residents came out and said the same. it was nice to have that human connection, even in times like these. and then we decided to go to the roof, and we again yelled out happy new year on our way across the street, and people came out onto their porches and said the same. we gazed at the lights of anaheim and the lights in the sky. we saw a few fireworks. benny and i were making out, and so were taleeah and martin. benny and i snuck off for like an hour to a dark little section of the roof you’re not supposed to walk on. eventually, we rejoined the other two and we all talked with a guy playing his guitar named cowboy chris. it was cold, so we came back to our apartment after a while. benny left around 3 or so, i believe, to catch a flight to cleveland with his friend. i walked him down and we procrastinated the goodbye for a good few minutes, and then i came back and went to bed. and then i woke up, and 2020 had truly been kicked out, and 2021 had started with a nice stimmy direct deposit. 2021, be good. there is so much promise for this year. i’m excited, albeit wary, to see how it all plays out.

over the year, some things were constant or else developed slowly over months:

really grew to love working out. i still absolutely hate gym culture and i really don’t like to broadcast my exercise, but i love doing it so much.

listened to music truly in a new light—who would have thought i would come to branch out more than i ever have, to see how cool and beautiful and noteworthy absolutely everything is? i know that that is not news in any way, and i know that i have a lens that i look through that i need to work on widening. but at any rate, i am so thankful to my friends for letting me in to their own libraries.

missed driving, as always, although i am very content to not have to deal with the stresses and expenses of having a car. i just wish i had more friends who also didn’t have cars so i didn’t always feel indebted.

missed my job like nothing else. autopia is the best place I have ever worked without a single doubt in my mind. the people i work with, the leads, the job itself. it is fun and involved and just plain cool. i hope to return, although i don’t really think i will. who knows, though.

tried to support gavin newsom with all my heart. he has made his best efforts, but i just wish he wasn’t so hypocritical. i will continue to support him, though, i think, but without such a star in my eye.

toward the end of the year, played among us a few times with my group from florida. i forgot how much i miss them all.

songs of the year: “before the deluge,” jackson browne, “all the debts i owe,” caamp, “which way are you goin,” jim croce. browne’s lyricism and intonations just strike you--gently, but with a certain meaningful force that i don’t feel too often. i think of “before the deluge” a lot and i relate it to my own life throughout 2020, in an abstract sort of way. 2020 gave so much to me, yes, and i feel gratitude for it. but it certainly was a deluge unlike many of us had ever seen before. and we haven’t gotten past it yet, but we are doing our best to “keep our spirits high” and “keep our children dry”--and songs like this make it easy for me to keep up that state of mind. “all the debts i owe” always makes me think of blake, how he had to leave but maybe he’ll be back one day. i remember listening to that song on the bus to work back in january and february, so captivated by it. i had no idea how the lyrics would soon become so close to me. and then “which way are you goin.” croce will always have relevance in the most unpretentious and poignant manner.

what a goddamn whirlwind. 2020, the year that no one could have fathomed, the year that we’ll say we barely got through—hell, so many of us didn’t make it at all. and that is unjust. the pandemic made its mark on us all, transformed us all. and i’ll speak to that in a minute. but the conflicts, the war crimes, the ignorance, the unwillingness to listen and compromise and communicate. this year, people strayed far too often into grotesque, violent, and inhumane realities. azerbaijan’s control of artsakh was such a blow for armenians, the result of an awful and unnecessarily (and unjustifiably) violent war. and the western world often glossed over it, and continues to. i unfortunately still remain pretty ignorant on the issue, but it seems easy to see the layers of hatred and disgusting desire for control that have fueled that conflict. nigeria’s protests against sars spoke to the issue of major police brutality that so deeply impacts many cultures, and it’s disheartening, to say the least, that the western world also willfully remained ignorant through it all. it’s so common a grievance, but one that doesn’t seem to change. it doesn’t seem like it can, not unless some major cultural and even psychological reform or rebirth comes about. it’s the same reason i believe in communism, but i don’t believe it’s realistic in this world (although i could change my stance in time). anyway. 2020 threw obstacles like nothing else. obviously, as someone living in the us, i easily get wrapped up just in domestic issues. i’m glad so many movements gained such serious traction in a time when people are often home and are attached to their information sources. it made everything strike more deeply, i think. nothing has resolved, though. resting on laurels will make any prospect of development completely futile. persistence is fundamental.

at the end of the day, a few things stick with me absolutely always, in spite of any hardship. this life is beautiful. it is unmatched. it is authentic, challenging, full of grit and light and purity. it kicks us sometimes, and then it pats us on the back. and it is an honor like absolutely nothing else to be able to be a part of it. i let myself feel bad; it’s part of the human condition and experience, and one that has value. but through it, i never find it hard to keep in mind the grace that the planet has for us. the gratitude overwhelms my entire torso and i cherish it.

“a victory lap through these impossible days”

#about me #me #a year in review #2020

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migleefulmoments · 4 years

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Cassie: "Nonnie, I do get where you're coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won't always be this way." If your bf is choosing to live a fake life and expects you to just go along with it for X number of years, he is not worth it. I don't care if he is Darren Criss or any other attractive famous man, no person on Earth is worth the heartache that ccChris has probably been through whilst watching his "hubby" constantly choose fame over him.

Cassie’s answer really blew me away. She’s has chugged down all of Abby’s Kool-Aid and she’s fully buying into Abby’s juvenile ideas about relationships, sacrificing for love, and the power of love. THE 5 have clearly read Twilight one too many times! Everything they know about love, they learned from Bella and Edward who taught them with the idea that love is all-consuming, that there is no sacrifice that is too much as long as he loves you, and that in the end, happily ever will save the day.

You’re right, there are a lot of scenarios where love is not enough and you have to walk away for your own mental or emotional well being. Sometimes it is an abusive partner making bad ccchoices and sometimes it is a wonderful partner whose future no longer looks like yours. One of my favorite Youtubers just announced she split with her husband 2 years ago and kept it a secret- even wearing her rings in the first half of this video! They broke up simply because they reached a point where they realized there was a fundamental difference in what they each wanted in life and the relationship couldn’t go forward (she wouldn’t say what that was). My husband’s cousin got divorced after her husband realized he wanted to be a dad and she wasn’t interested in children. Another YouTuber I watch called off their engagement after they realized she wanted a picket fence on a cul-de-sac and he wanted to a cave in the middle of nowhere (he was dead serious). Their goals were incompatible and asking one to compromise wasn’t fair or healthy. ccDarren chose fame over ccChris and their relationship. ccDarren is unwilling to risk his position in Hollywood in order to openly love ccChris. He is so caught up in being THE actor, musician, and executive producer Darren Criss, that he married a woman he despises and spends all his time with her. She enjoys the lifestyle his fame has provided for him while ccChris has to hide in the rafters and scurry around ccDarren’s life completely unseen. ccDarren is incapable -or unwilling -to rid himself of his toxic team whose main goal is to “ccruin him” and by extension, ccChris. I don’t believe that the same man who gave this interview would choose to stay in a relationship where his feelings and needs always come second to ccDarren’s career. Spending 1:00 am-7:00 am spooning the night away is hardly compensation for having to keep their relationship hidden and standing by while his lover lives his life with another person. Scurring in the dark and in disguise certainly isn’t enough to keep a relationship alive and healthy for 10 years.

(My comments are in italics below)

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Anonymous asked: I love Cc, but I just can’t imagine C agreeing with all this and if he did, my heart still hurts for him.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, you’re more than entitled to your opinion. I, respectfully, disagree. C is not a victim in all of this. He made a conscious and willing decision to stand with D. He’s just as culpable in all of this as D is and he’s tried to show that on more than one occasion. I’m not heartbroken for C and I don’t think he would want us to be. At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about. Many people perceive C as being the more fragile of the two, and I think that’s a grave mistake. C’s the glue that holds them together. He’s always had to fend for himself and the world wasn’t always kind to him. D grew up in this seemingly perfect little world where he trusted everyone and thought people were mostly good and that’s part of why he’s in this situation. (Cassie et. al believe that love makes it all ok and that ccChris chose to stay so making him as culpable as ccDarren. It’s an interesting theory- basically, she’s saying that anyone who is an abusive relationship is culpable for the abuse because they chose to stay in the relationship. This is a dangerous and harmful belief because it ignores all of the barriers that keep people in abusive relationships- lack of money, lack of a safe place to go, fearing for their lives if they leave, low self-esteem from the abuse-to name just a few. I realize that Cassie is just turning ccChris staying in an abusive relationship into ccconfirmation bias, but she’s speaking to a lot of young people who don’t understand that and are learning that they should always stay because love makes everything ok. “At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about.” Besides the fact that that kind of love exists in fanfiction and Twilight, I am gobsmacked that a middle-aged adult would imagine she knows this about Chris Colfer’s love life. The most Chris has ever said about his love life is to say tell a young fan that his dedication was to his boyfriend, to acknowledge to Andy Cohen that he had a boyfriend, and to acknowledge to Sandra Bernhart that Will was his boyfriend. Oh, and he said several times that he was not in a relationship with Darren. To believe he has a “love that most people only dream about” she would have to fabricate every detail single details she thinks she knows. That is not the behavior of a healthy adult. Big strong ccChris who went through hell and came out so strong that nothing touches him now. He’s the “glue that holds them together” and the “Captain of the ship” even though he’s literally being ignored while ccDarren lives a very full life with Mia by his side. Poor widdle, innocent ccDarren who grew up wealthy and since wealthy people live perfect lives and everyone around them is kind, he never learned who to trust. Gag)

flowersintheattic254 You only have to watch the impact theory interview to see what drives C. C is strong and he stands up for those who are marginalized. C is tough and stronger than people give home credit for and he’s loyal too. (See the video and my transcript below. Notice that Chris never mentions his love life in any of the statements that Flowers believes are 100% about his relationships)

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I agree with @flowersintheattic254. This is such a good interview

Anonymous asked: I guess it makes sense that C’s the rock. I guess it’s just me thinking that since C’s out and proud, he deserves the same from his partner. But as you said, D was too trusting and I guess C is his strength, keeping him from giving up on everything shitty he’s going through. (Such a good little minion, repeating everything she’s groomed to believe)

Cassie: Nonnie, I do get where you’re coming from. I think C just realizes D is worth it and I do believe, in my heart of hearts, it won’t always be this way.

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I listened to Chris’s interview and he was asked about ambition:

Chris: ... I was really good at playing that character (Kurt). People really do think I was playing myself and although we were experiencing very very similar things, I was very different from that character. I was much more cynical than that character.

Tom: In fact, I am glad you brought that up. I heard in an interview someone asked you if you were a character in Game of Thrones and you said ‘I want to say that I would be the Mother of Dragons but I think I am actually Cersei’.

Chris: I‘m sorry but she is a woman who knows what she wants and she goes out and she gets it. Her methods-her strategy- is a little questionable but I just love any woman with a drive. I remember when I was in my senior year of high school I was chosen to put on my own show. It’s called the senior show. Every year one senior in the drama class got selected to basically put on whatever they want and usually they would put on an SNL-type variety sketch kind of show, but I was like “Nope I’m writing a musical” and I gender-reversed Sweeny Todd and called it Shirley Todd so I could be Mrs. Lovett so I was Mr. Lovett. Because we were all seniors, no one wanted to do it and I ended up blackmailing all of them to be in it. It was a great show.

Tom: Walk me through how that drive and ambition has manifested in your life. Is that something you value in yourself? Is that something that you’re skeptical of in yourself because when you answer that question- and I fully understand that was a little tongue-in-cheek, but when you say “I fear that I’m actually Cersei” is there part of you that is very cognizant that there is a line that you can cross with drive and ambition or...

Chris: Oh I think so, I think that ambition is so much a part of who I am-maybe to a fault- but I’ve never got to the point where I was so ambitions that I was causing harm. I think growing up, ambition and hope and goals and dreams was literally all that I had. My family didn’t have money and I wasn’t good looking and I wasn’t athletic, I could act and I could sing, I could write but there aren’t many areas for you to do that when you are a young person- at least when I was a young person they weren’t. So I think my ambition sort of just became my imaginary friend. It was a survival tool, it wasn’t narcissism, it was survival.

Tom: In that, I can be somewhere else, I can be bigger than this, I can go places was that the sort of your savor mechanism?

Chris: Yeah, I think it was Making a treasure map to a life that was better than what the life I was in currently. That is what it was for me. Hence, why I also identify so much with fantasy and superheroes and Greek mythology and literature it was all part of ...yeah, I always use fictitious people as my examples of getting somewhere.

---------

Chris: To go back to what you said about bullying, I’m in a weird place right now because I played a bullied kid on national television, you know for 20 million people a week watched me get pushed into lockers and thrown on floors and called “a faggot” called “queer”... all these negative things and I experienced all that myself in real life. I really let people know that was one of the reasons why people connected to my performance because it was coming from such a real place and I let people know i was bullied horribly when I was a kid. I was bullied so horribly in middle school that my mom pulled me out of school and homeschooled me because the harassment got so severe. But I’m at his weird place right now that I feel like I’m so not a victim anymore ...that I kind of- maybe it’s my ego- I don’t know, but I get tired of being associated with someone who is bullied because I don’t allow that to happen anymore. At all! I’m proud of where I’m at now because the minute I see someone who tries to take advantage of me or isn’t kind... I have the option to walk away now- which I didn't when I was a kid. But I feel like I have to stop talking about it because I’ve told millions and millions of kids around the world that it is something you get to leave behind. Because of my circumstances, I don’t get to leave it behind because I’m always asked about it and it’s a good thing to talk about because it’s still going on but as a certain point, I feel like I’m doing the kids who look up to me a disservice when I keep talking about it becuase it does-maybe for them- seem like it doesn’t leave me. Does that make sense?

Tom: If this was the last words that you speak on the subject of being bullied what would you say that was your process to close that chapter.. to feel good about yourself. I’m definitely putting words in your mouth, being born in some way where that is not who you are anymore?

Chris: It is really about just knowing that you get to move on from it. That is the thing... adolescence is the toughest time in your life because you have no freedom but you have all this responsibility. You are expected to make adult decision but you don’t get the benefits of being an adult and you’re literally trapped in an environment- high school- unless you are homeschooled. You have no control of who you are around and probably the lesson or the bridge that I crossed in my life that has given me the most relief is knowing that I don’t have to be in any environment that I do not want to be in. I think that would be the message that I would give to kids who are being bullied. But also the world is full of assholes. Bullies, they do go away at a certain point, but there will always be people in your life that you don’t like, that are mean and rude and when you do go through a period of harassment- especially when you are young- you do learn how to overcome that and how to maybe have inner peace but you can’t ever control the world around you but you do learn a lot of good communications skills. I think.

Chris makes it very clear that he is NOT Kurt

Chris identifies with a character who knows what she wants and goes out and gets it. That is very different from ccChris who is sitting back and accepting that he is not a priority for 10 years and counting.

Ambition and drive are very important to Chris- ccChris is allowing Darren to drive the relationship. Darren is getting everything he wants while Chris continues to make all of the sacrifices.

Chris is adamant that he will not be bullied every again and that he will wake away from anyone taking advantage of him. The cc fandom heard this and saw it as confirmation bias because he is still in a ccrelationship with ccDarren aka he doesn’t see the relationship as being abusive or that he’s being taken advantage of therefore ccChris just confirmed CrissCofler is real and that ccChris is in control.

The final paragraph is once again confirmation bias- Chris no longer has to be in an environment he doesn’t want to be in- hence he’s happy with ccDarren. By saying that people are still assholes, he confirmed that Ryan Murphy, Mia and Darren’s team are all assholes but he’s in control now and it doesn’t let them ruin his life..

#cc #ccer #crisscolfer #Chris Colfer #Impact Theory #Chris choose to be with Darren #debunking cc nonsense #Chris speaks

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a-smilethat-explodes · 4 years

Text

Chapter 14- Blinders and a temper

"You want to tell me what the hell is going on?" Ana demanded. The maid who had answered the door stared at my bare chest in silence. "Thanks Lucy," she said pointedly. The maid hurried off. Ana took in my appearance and then stepped to the side to let me in as she demanded, "Where the hell is your shirt? Have you showered lately? It looks like you just rolled out of bed in your clothes, homeless man."

"I told you, it's a long story." I sighed wearily and then asked, "Did you get my clothes?"

"Yeah and Jake damn near mauled me while I was there," she snapped back. "They're in my room, come on," she began briskly crossing the large entryway to the massive staircase before us. "Erik, what the hell is going on?"

"All right, calm down." I ordered as we walked up the huge staircase. "I'll explain everything once I get a decent shirt on."

As we reached the first landing, I looked up to see a tall blond guy in a preppy collared shirt and jeans approaching the top of the stairs. He looked vaguely familiar. He took me in and then his eyes narrowed as he slowly descended down to us. "Ana?" he asked.

"You guys haven't met?" Ana asked indifferently. "Andrew, this is my brother Erik. Erik, this is Andrew."

So this was the guy who had put my sister through so many hoops. I finally placed him: he had come by the apartment with flowers a few weeks ago after screwing up for some reason or another. I kept my dislike for him to myself, and decided to be nice, for Ana's sake. "Hey." I held out a hand and then added, "We met that one time when you came by the apartment."

"Yeah, I remember." Andrew shook my hand, giving me a weird look undoubtedly because of my lack of clothing.

"There's an explanation for why I'm not wearing a shirt." I smirked a little.

"Glad to hear it," he replied, touching Ana on the arm. "I'll be in the kitchen," he kissed her cheek and then continued down the stairs.

"Come on." Ana ordered sharply, dragging me up the rest of the stairs.

She opened the door into her room. It was her room and then it wasn't. The desk and the bookcase were from our house but the huge four poster bed in the middle of the room and the thick carpet on the floor was something else. "Here," she chucked my Red Rooster uniform at me.

I took off my jeans and changed my pants. She sighed with impatience as I unfolded my Red Rooster shirt. "I don't remember folding my clothes." I commented.

"They were on the floor in your mess that you call a room," she shot back as I pulled on my shirt.

"This is true." I nodded in agreement.

"Erik!" she finally shouted. "Would you just get to the point!"

"All right!" I shot back. As I told her about Christine, her face gradually went from annoyance to a grim line. "I dropped her off at her house and then I called you." I finished.

Ana shook her head. "She sounds like a bitch," she stated bluntly. "An immature bitch at that."

"She's not." I snapped back.

Ana began listing off her qualities with her fingers. "She's attracted to you and yet dates your roommate, she flips out just because he drinks, which nearly every college guy on the planet does, she goes back to him less then two hours after a fight, she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend with his roommate of all people-"

"All right I get the point, Ana." I snapped back.

"I don't think you do," she shook her head, looking at me. "And you told me that I was blind."

"What's your deal, Ana?" I demanded. "You aren't acting like yourself."

"I'm just disgusted that you could be so blind," she shook her head. "You put on blinders with this girl and you don't even see it. She can't screw up in your eyes."

"Ana." I said sharply. "We all make mistakes; you of all people should know that-"

"No, don't give me that bullshit," she cut me off, putting her hand up in the air. "Good Lord, Erik," she shook her head. "You're a nice guy. You put up with all of my shit with Andrew and the like. But when it comes to your own life, you're completely incapable of having a girlfriend."

"Thanks a lot, Ana." I snapped back.

"You punched your roommate, of all people, because he called this stupid girl a hoe. But she really is a hoe!" Ana exclaimed.

"She's not a slut." I snapped back through clenched teeth. "If she was, she would have slept with me last night or she would have made out with me today."

"She was passed out drunk last night, and this afternoon, you pushed her away." Ana retorted. I glared at her angrily. She sighed, digging her hands into her hair, and then relaxed slightly. "Look, I hate to be upfront about this kind of thing, especially since I, of all people, have made mistakes in my life. But Erik… this isn't like you," her face darkened again and her voice rose in anger as she said, "You're not thinking straight, you can't see anything but this girl!"

"That's not true." I snapped back. "I'm in a perfectly logical state of mind. I know that she's my roommate's girlfriend which is why I'm not trying to woo her away from him," did I really just say woo?

She was so mad, she didn't even pounce on woo. "Oh no, you aren't wooing her away," never mind, she had caught it. "You've already wooed her away! She likes you!"

"Well I know that now." I snapped back testily.

"Good Lord, Erik. Why don't you just go after someone nice and untaken!" she demanded. "Like Cassie!"

I recoiled in surprise, anger gone. "Cassie?" I demanded.

"She's only been in love with you since forever," she shot back.

"Cassie and I are just friends." I said through clenched teeth. "We've always been just friends!"

"Just because you're friends doesn't mean that you can't have feelings for each other," she shot back. "Hell, look at me and Andrew. We were friends and now we're dating!"

She was driving me crazy! "Ana!" I buried my hands in my unbrushed hair. "What the hell is up with you today? I put up with a bunch of shit because I'm a nice guy and you're just turning on me and…"

"Well I'm not as nice as you and I think you need a wake up call," she snapped back. "I'm saying all this because I'm worried about you, Erik."

I shook my head and checked my watch. "I need to go to work." I grabbed my pants off the floor and pulled out my car keys. "Call me when you quit PMSing." I snapped at her.

"Call me when you grow a backbone!" she snapped back as I stalked out of her room.

I felt my shoulders jerk up to my ears in annoyance. I had a backbone… it just rarely showed. I sighed and stalked out of the house.

I yanked my car into a parking spot by work and then got out of my car. I pulled open the door inside and stormed inside.

Taylor looked up from the table she was cleaning, took one look at me, and then stopped cleaning. "What's with you?" she asked me.

"Nothing." I replied tersely, stalking over to where we hung our jackets.

"Erik?" Abby asked as I passed without a word to her. "What's wrong?" she called after me.

"Let's just do our jobs tonight, just serve these people their shitty food with a damn fake smile, and make some money." I shouted back at them.

Their stunned silence answered my shouting. I grabbed an apron (how I hated these stupid things), tied it around my waist, grabbed a tray, and then went to work at cleaning the tables.

Later that night, I forced a smile as I set down my food for the family of four in front of us. "Thanks," their father told me.

"Sure." I managed to make my smile somewhat genuine before turning away and then storming back to where Taylor was billing somebody. I saw her glance at me out of the corner of her eye. "What?" I snapped at her as I grabbed the water pitcher. She didn't answer as I stalked out. I smiled blandly as I refilled water glasses and then returned the water pitcher to where it was.

"Maria!" I heard Abby shout as I mopped up some water off my tray. "Cover for me."

I grabbed my tray and left the area, set on checking on my tables, when Abby appeared out of nowhere, grabbed me roughly by the shirt, and yanked me into the kitchen. "Hey!" I complained.

"What the hell is your deal tonight?" she demanded roughly, punching me hard on the shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" I snapped back.

"You've been treating both Tay and I like shit!" she snapped back. "What's the deal, Erik?"

"I'm just having a bad day. Can people have those?" I snapped back.

"I've seen you have a bad day before and you've never lost your cool like this!" she hissed back. "What is it? Family? A girl?"

"Nothing!" I lied.

Abby grabbed my shirt collar and pulled me down so that we were eye level. "You better buck up and quit acting like a bitch because you're going to be losing serious money if you don't."

"Abby-" I began, annoyed.

Taylor appeared next to us and said meekly, "Erik, Happy Birthday song."

"Suck it up and go sing your fucking Happy Birthday song," she ordered me.

"Fine." I snapped back.

"Grow up," she shook her head, fishing out her cigarettes as she stormed out of the kitchen.

I sighed and leaned against the counter. I shut my eyes for a brief moment and took a few deep breaths. I had been storming around the damn restaurant like a five year old. Buck up, Erik.

"Erik!" Maria shouted at me. My eyes flew open to see her looking at me, a mix between pissed and horrified. "Get your ass out here, Happy Birthday song!" she ordered.

"Sorry." I jumped and ran out of the kitchen to join Taylor's side as the server began leading the Happy Birthday song.

I diligently clapped along, threw my fist up in the air for the hey, and then walked back over to grab one of my tables food with a sigh.

0 notes

tlcrescuepa · 6 years

Text

New Post has been published on To Love a Canine Rescue

New Post has been published on https://tlcrescuepa.com/week-end-update-we-support-underdogs-edition/

Week-End Update: We Support Underdogs Edition

Tonight’s a big night as we’re sure that many of you will be glued to the TV watching the Eagles game and hoping they soar over the Vikings and into this year’s Superbowl! We, of course, are huge supporters of underdogs – and we have quite a few that went from underdog to wonder dog just by finding the perfect furever family. This week was no exception as a bunch of our pups will be watching the game along with their new families tonight!

Our girl Zoey didn’t stray too far from her foster family having been adopted by her foster mom’s parents! Monica is also happy to announce that she’s settled into her new family after losing her mom due to a family emergency. Comet, Ian, Marcie, Rudy, Terk, Thurmond, Turbo & Uhura also started their happily ever afters this week too.

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Comet

Ian

Marcie

Monica

Rudy

Terk

Thurmond

Turbo

Uhura

Zoey

We have some wonderful updates & pics to share with you as well!

Eleanor & her pups

#gallery-2 margin: auto; #gallery-2 .gallery-item float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 25%; #gallery-2 img border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; #gallery-2 .gallery-caption margin-left: 0; /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

We received the following email from Ellie FKA Ellen’s mom that we had to share with the rest of the family

“I adopted Ellen, who now goes by Ellie, in October 2017 and boy, are we doing great! Ellie loves her big back yard, the dog park and her many toys. Although I have given her more toys than she could ever hope for, her favorite toy is still the squeaky fish that came from her foster home. Ellie loves “fish” so much that she’ll go retrieve it on command!

Ellie is not the English setter mix we once thought she was. After getting her DNA tested, we discovered that she is 50% fox hound, with the other 50% a mix of beagle, bull dog and pit bull! No matter what mix of breeds she is, she is 100% perfect in my eyes. Ellie has enriched my life in a way that words cannot express. I am so grateful to have her in my life and can’t thank you enough for the opportunity to take home my four-legged friend. “

Of course everyone was super happy to get in touch with each other and share pictures! Edgar’s mom thought it was funny they received the DNA info right after they mailed out his DNA test. Here are pics of Ellie’s momma Bixy (FKA Eleanor), and litter mates Emily (who lives with Lucy & TLC alum Cassie FKA Asia) & Edgar

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momma Bixy (Beatrix FKA Eleanor)

Emily

Cassie FKA Asia, Lucy & Emily

Emily w/Cassie FKA Asia

Edgar

Speaking of DNA results, Carl FKA BJ received his earlier this week and is proud to announce that’s he’s a bona fide mutt!

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Snowball

“We couldn’t believe either that one year had gone by already…we can’t imagine not having our sweet Snowball in our family ! He still makes us laugh in some way every single day 😊

I really enjoy seeing all the Facebook posts from TLC..I’m constantly forwarding pics of adoptable dogs to my friends, Lol. “

Apollo FKA Huey

“Hello, I am finally getting a chance to touch base with you about Huey (now named Apollo) who we rescued in October. He is doing great and is the sweetest! He has really come out of his shell and has found his playful side. He has a very large yard where he loves to freely run – we put in the electric fence, but he always stays with us out there and never cares to go further. He is a big baby and lets the kids hang all over him.

Apollo loves running in snow and through leaf piles. I think we were really lucky in finding a dog that has shows a good balance of fun and calmness. “

Trudy FKA Bailey

“We have renamed her Trudy and she is doing great! I’ve attached a picture from this morning. I think she’s still adjusting, but she’s been very loving and is already attached to us. She comes to her name and watches everything we do. No naughty behavior yet – but I’m sure she’ll get more adventurous. She and our cats are sizing one another up but she’s only curious and would much rather pay attention to us! Now the cats have to get used to her being in their spaces!

Our first vet appointment is scheduled for next week, and I’m going to reach out to Jeri about training options. We are thrilled with Trudy and so grateful for all the good work your organization does.

thanks so much”

Willow FKA Winnie (aka Willa)

WIllow FKA WInnie

“Willow has been a joy and a wonderful addition to our family. I have attached her Christmas picture! She is happy and healthy!

Thanks again to TLC for bringing us together!”

Peaches FKA Jana

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“We are doing great 👍🏻

Peaches is a joyful dog and has become an endearing companion to Abby. She has made many canine friends in the neighborhood from our daily walks and has enjoyed the snow we’ve been getting as well. I’ll be sure to send you some updated pictures “

Bailey FKA Dopey

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“Thank you! Bailey, fka Dopey, is doing well! He loves to destroy his plush toys, run away with our shoes and socks (but doesn’t get far). He also enjoys doggy daycare and playing with dogs. “

Victory

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“She graduated from puppy training at Awesome Dawgs and now is in Level one training. She is so smart and loves people and playing with dogs ! ♡”

Lily FKA Santana

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“I am writing to let you know that Lily (formerly Santana) is well and doing fine in our home, She has made herself quite comfortable and she is getting along famously with her two new siblings, LuLu and Scooter. She also is doing fine with her 2 cat brothers Carter and Carson. We love her very much and she has been having fun paling in the snow and going for long walks and runs with her sister LuLu and mom. Attached are a few pictures of Lily in her new home with her family.”

We hope you had as good a week as the pups did, now they’re all crossing their paws hoping the Eagles soar tonight!

#adoptions #updates

0 notes

migleefulmoments · 5 years

Text

Let’s unpack some cc nonsense

Anonymous asked:

Not that anyone can at this point but if YOU were representing D, how would you get him out of the mess? The damage that has been done to him is horrendous but the man has talent. Surely D believed there was “light at the end of the tunnel” or he never would have agreed to this??!’ Curious? If there is a plan, would do you think it would entail?

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, I woke up to reading about this giant shit storm his team has created getting worse (shitstorm? really? it was a GAY website talking about all the straight actors who have played gay characters and gay actors who played straight and gay characters. The website post was not judgmental or cruel- in fact this is what they said

Films are an important voice for a lot of LGBT people as they offer vital representation in society. Actors do an important job of starring as our favourite characters in films. However, very few LGBT roles are filled by openly LGBT actors. Actors who are open about their sexuality are struggling to carve a successful career path for themselves – a fact that is not helped by their heterosexual counterparts filling up roles that some might argue should be reserved for them.PinkNews has compiled all a list of all the Hollywood stars who have gone “gay for pay” on the big screen. We’ve also explored the gay actors who have made a name for themselves playing it straight.

Then they listed along with each actor-most of them A-listers-the movie they were in. That’s it. Hardly career killing.) They completely crossed the last line they had left with this latest nonsense. Make no mistake, this is a deliberate and vicious attack on D’s character, (is it though? he has said he is straight for 10 years) and it’s being perpetuated by people that are supposed to be operating on his behalf and helping him shine (He just won 4 awards and has his own show in the works which allows him to write, write music, sing, act and produce so I don’t know how you can argue they are not helping him shine) So, the question is, why are they coating him in mud instead? (No the question is why do ccers NOT understand that these stories are written by writers-in this case Joseph McCormic (X)- who create content for the specific website. It is the same as Vogue.com, Just Jared, The Advocate, Bon Apetite, Tasty, Buzfeed, and all the other speciality websites that create content for their readers. Writers pitch stories and then do the research or interviews and write the content. If they had to wait for teams to destroy their clients out of revenge, they would never have enough content to publish regularly and if Ricky sent this info to destroy Darren then Meryl Streep and Benedit Cumberbatch’s teams did so as well) THAT strongly suggests to me that they know their time is drawing to a close and they want to break and damage not just his career, but him, as much as they can. (This is a completely illogical idea that Abby started several years ago. Today @ajw720, @Cassie1022 and @Notes-From-Nowhere mentioned it. Obviously there is a coordinated attempt to gaslight their readers with this trope. Did Abby sending out “cc talking points” this morning like the gop always does?). The age old, if I can’t have you, I’m going to destroy you so no one else wants you, prophecy. (”Prophey: noun a prediction of what will happen in the future”. Not the right word here, Cassie. “I’m going to destroy so no one wants you” is abuse, plain and simple. If Ricky was actively and methodically destroying Darren, it would be grounds for Darren to break their contract and pursue legal options against Ricky. Let’s talk about Ricky’s contract- RICKY signed it, Darren didn’t because Darren HIRED Ricky. As a manager, Ricky is legally required to work to further Darren’s best interests. He is not allowed to use his POA to sign anything that Darren wouldn’t sign himself. That is the law. Also you have been claiming this for the last 4 years-either Ricky sucks at destroying Darren, he is doing the world’s slowest destruction or it’s all bullshit).

As for attempting to fix this mess? Well, I have to believe that there is some type of plan in place (again you have said this for 4 years). Clearly, he needs to clean house on his team and start over. (Here is where this gets interesting because Cassie lays out a plan for Darren to STOP being Darren and turn himself into Blaine Anderson once and for all) He needs to seek guidance from members of the LGBTQ community that have successfully come out and have the right people working for them (He isn’t gay). The replacements need to be thoroughly and meticulously researched and carefully selected. D needs to shed the dude bro douche image (that IS who Darren is) and get back to being the quirky, loveable goofball (Blaine) that makes you (ME) fall in love with him (because it is HIS job to be the fictitious character you fantasize about?). I suspect he knew exactly what they were planning and that’s why he hasn’t sought more career opportunities on his own.(He just planned a wedding, produced a StarKid reunion, is writing scrips, writing music, producing, acting and singing in Royalties and producing Elsie. He’s very busy). Let’s be honest, D himself is the one that secured his most successful career opportunities.(This isn’t something you know anything about. If Darren finds Ricky’s work lacking then he needs to fire him.) The things his team has gotten him are few and far between and generally only agreed to so their bank accounts grow and they get swag (Again a trope that Abby made up and you all just mindless globbed on to but that you would have NO idea who did what)

The good news is that people, that are not fandom fanatics, won’t hold a grudge (Actually the ccers are the only ones who hold grudges. The rest of us understand that the healthy adult reaction would be to just find another celeb to like. Getting angry, raging and holding grudges when a celeb doesn’t do what you want them to do is what immature and mentally unwell people do) . Sure, he may take a hit with those outside the fandom, but memories are usually short and people are generally forgiving. He may take a bigger hit within fandom, but I believe he’s charming and sincere enough to rebound (and yet you claim he lies to us now every time he speaks so being sincere isn’t high on your list of criteria for being a fan) . Any fans that walk and don’t come back won’t be missed. I also believe he has a strong support system within the LGBTQ community.(Why? Why would the LGBTQ community strongly support him when he has outright lied about his sexuality so many times over the last decade? He didn’t just avoid questions or give evasive answers, he spoke at length about his being straight, he even brought it up on his own quite a few times. He refused to be honest about who he is in 2019. That’s fucked up. As pissed as you -a gaggle of straight women- are about the Pink comment, imagine how the gay community will feel when they find out that he lied for 10 years about his sexuality and married a women to keep his secret while he was with Chris and he did so simply to keep his career afloat. The LGTBQ community is writing about him in their “pay to gay” article, imagine the articles that would come out-“a decade in the closet while married to his husband cuz he wanted to be an A-lister ” or “Gay but married his Beard to stay relevant in Hollywood: 2019 edition”. According to cc theory, he isn’t closeted because of concerns about his safety or his family disowning him but because he wanted to be an A-lister....he stays in the closet in exchange for not being blacklisted in Hollywood, that is what you guys tell us. But he could come out and still perform- he could act, write, and produce StarKid, he could pursue music, he could do Broadway and be out and proud. He could likely do Royalties. In fact, once Royalties is up and going, the “He’s closeted” trope is going to have a hard time standing because there will be no reason for him to be closeted). So many people that identify as queer LGBTQ genuinely love him (Really? How does a straight women with no connection to the LGBTQ community know that? if you are speaking about Ricky Martin, Justin Trantor, Elivs Duran, and Chris Colfer, you aren’t speaking about “many people”) and that speaks volumes and will be one of the key components of rinsing the mud left on him by team stupid off and helping him regain his brilliant light. If they believed the nonsense his team is spreading about him, they wouldn’t be friends with him (l don’t think any of his friends real CDAN or PinkNews) . The LGBTQ community is a loving, supportive group, but they won’t tolerate people that use them (exactly why they would not support a closeted Darren). If they thought that was the case with D, they would make it known.

All of this makes me so sad for him. He doesn’t deserves the character assassination that’s happening, especially as it’s at the hands of people he’s paying.

ajw720 @cassie1022 well stated. Completely agree.(Of course you agree, these are your tropes -you wrote them all)

notes-from-nowhere. I believe the plan is to discredit him as much as possible. This will make him less believable once he will be able to say his truth.

People is scared, what D may say once free is making them nervous (if that was true then Darren would have all of the POWER and could blackmail them. They certainly shouldn’t antagonize him even further, that isn't how you keep someone quiet. God, this trope is so stupid) and what we are seeing right now is an attempt to do an earlly damage control. Basically someone is trying to take him away his voice. If they successfully make him look like a liar (what have they done that makes him look like a liar? You guys, on the other hand, say he lies every time he talks about himself), an opportunist and a selfish dick, no one will ever take what he says seriously.(That isn’t how it works. Everyone in Hollywood is an opportunist and a dick- nobody in LA would bat and eye) It’s maybe their lowest and lousy move since the beginning but as I’ve said earlier, none of them is better than this (huh?). This is how they play this game, the difference from before is that now that the end is near, D forced them to show their moves because he is no longer bending (and yet they have been playing this game for10 years now, they can only play it if Darren lets them...why is he letting them?) .

ajw720. @notes-from-nowhere that’s one of the reasons the sham mockery had to happen (more illogical logic). Because many that know the truth think d is choosing this. And that’s how it will appear in the surface when he is able to tell the truth. They want him to take the blame completely. (HUH? Did you have wine before you wrote this? It makes NO sense at all “Many who know the truth believe d is choosing this”???? YES BECAUSE HE DID CHOOSE MIA)

I won’t let that happen. Their sins are well documented.(Oh Abby, please let us know how you “won't let this happen” and please share the “documented sins”. We all know you believe they are sins but I would love to see how you have documented them. I’ve read your master posts of evidence and they are all the rants of a mentally unfit person. You have NO power in this so claiming you “won't let this happen is utter nonsense. You sound like Trump)

cc-still-going-strong Don’t forget he still has C and C’s friends. They are a great ally if D ever wants to win back the LBGT’s hearts. And LBGT community will understand the difficulty he has at the present.(This cracks me up- Darren has never been seen in the same vicinity of any of Chris’s friends in the 9 years we have been following them. He never mentioned or Tweeted them- even back we he wasn’t so cautious on sm. This is pure fantasy- complete made up nonsense. I’ve already argued why the LGBTQ wouldn’t be thrilled to welcome Darren into their community with open arms)

There is also a lot of his fans love him for who he is only, so that they will absolutely understand when his dark stage is over.

The only harm he will ever gets would come from Mi/arren stans, but mostly they are love M because of D, not the opposite.

There will be light waiting for him if he decides to be free from this BS. After all, he still has us and C (Thank god he has you, I love that Chris comes second in that comment).

ajw720. @cc-still-going-strong I think that the fact that C is still solidly by his side, speaks volumes for D’s character and makes an incredibly strong statement that I think many of the LGBT+ community in hollywood see. (and what do you see Abby that indicates “Chris is still solidly by his side”? I'm super curious because over her in sane-world, we don’t even see a the most basic of indications of a friendship anymore).

cc-still-going-strong Absolutely. I believe people who did corporate with him and/or know about C and him, will totally understand and support him.

And I strongly believe that C is still has D’s back. When the vid “Gay for pay” outed, C immediately update his Instagram and Twitter, as a distraction - with a video about a caterpillar in its ugly shape, but one day it will turn into a beautiful monarch. He only said #Savethemonarchs as a way to show his support for HIM. (Proving that the tinhatter are not sane. I cannot with this comment. It’s so ridiculous.... I just can’t. Literally WHO was so distracted by a caterpillar video that they forgot Darren was listed in a “gay for pay”? I also love how she totally wrote an entire story behind the post because that is what ccers do- see a caterpillar tagged #Savethemonarchs? It’s not about the plight of global warning and Monarch butterfly survival NOPE is really about HIM and the caterpiller will turn into a beautiful butterfly just like Darren, gag me)

ajw720. Could not agree more (of course she agrees). That video was so intentional and such an interesting choice to not show the butterfly. Just the caterpillar.(blah blah blah blergh) That’s d and his current state. And d is going to emerge as a stunning monarch.

leka-1998 I’ve always liked that song but (Leka believing life is just a big episode of Glee)

“Don’t let them get you down

You’re the best thing I’ve seen”

is probably my favorite part.

cc-still-going-strong Not only the video but also the song choice.

Still going strong, guys.

#cc #ccer #ccers #cc nonsense #cc family #cc fandom #cc blog #cc fan #crisscolfer #chris colfer #Darren Criss #oh look they remembered Chris exists

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a-smilethat-explodes · 4 years

Text

Chapter 7 The Repulsive Red Rooster

I pulled open the door and walked into Red Rooster. I looked around at the burgundy and navy worn carpet, the crappy vinyl red booths, the rickety wooden tables and chairs, and sighed. How anyone felt the urge to eat in this dump escaped me… though it seemed we never failed to draw a large crowd, especially on Saturday nights. That's where the three birthdays from last time usually came in.

"That's how I usually survey this place too," a short blond girl with her hair pulled back in a ponytail said as she walked over to me, tray in hand.

I wiped off the look of faint disgust off my face. "Hey Taylor." I said with a weary smile.

"You're tired," she assessed quickly after giving me a quick once over. "When are you never tired?" she asked dryly. She, on the other hand, looked fairly perky and awake.

"Never." I replied with another weary smile as I hung up my jacket. "You haven't experienced the weariness of the world yet," I teased her dramatically and then added, "You aren't even out of high school yet."

"Almost," she corrected me. "It shouldn't be that bad tonight," she pulled out her dish rag then added, "It's only a Monday," as she cleaned off one of the tables. "Maria told me to tell you when you came in that after you clock in, you need to check the salt and pepper shakers. She's outside arguing with the delivery man about something," she shrugged absent mindedly.

"Okay, thanks." I put on my apron with a grimace and then walked over to the bar first.

"Hey Erik," the bartender Abby smiled at me. She bartends as one of her many jobs to pay for the private college she attends.

"Hey." I smiled back, picking up the first salt shaker. You're going to be appalled but let me just say that Abby's incredibly hot (give me a break, I'm a 19 and I'm a guy, so it's not like I turn off my hormones at the sight of a pretty girl). She's got dark brown hair that's always curling in beautiful ringlets around her face and a gorgeous smile.

The only turn off about her was that she dresses like a prostitute. Her um… assets were on full display tonight in her black corset top. She had on casual jeans underneath and I caught sight of Converse when she was cleaning some glasses at the sink but we all know that guys wouldn't be looking at the jeans and Converse. I've seen many a half drunken man get thrown out of the restaurant for making advances on Abby. Luckily for her, not only did we have security, she also had a line ready when guys hit on her.

"So how are things with Patrick?" I asked as I filled up a salt shaker (her line would be that she has a boyfriend).

"They're good," she smiled back but then her smile fell a little. "Though I'm kinda trippin…"

Nice Guy alert. Go ahead, Erik, ask for her business. Do what you do best (apparently). "Why?" I prodded.

"Well our six month anniversary is coming up and he keeps going on and on about how good the gift he bought me is," she bit her lip worriedly. "And I don't have anything for him. Well actually, I have something but… it's not that great. I don't have a lot of money, it's been really tight because of school," she looked up apprehensively at me.

"Did it come from the heart?" I asked (shut up, I know! She's a girl!).

She looked away and busied herself with wiping the counter as she mumbled back slowly, "Yeah… just something small I made him…"

"What is it?" I prodded gently (I've learned to be very gentle after many a girl has come to me with their problems).

"I painted a picture frame and framed a photo of us," she mumbled.

"I'm sure he'll love it." I reassured her kindly. It's what I do best.

"Would your girlfriend give you something like that?" she asked me hopefully.

I smirked before saying dryly, "I'm currently between girls. But trust me on this one; Abby… he'll love it. If he doesn't, and bitches about how lame it is, he's an asshole, and not worth your time."

She looked at me for a moment and then melted, gazing at me with huge eyes. "Yeah… yeah, you're right," she smiled a trembling smile at me.

"It'll be fine." I patted her hand on the counter and then turned to see a customer walk in. "Hi sir, welcome to Red Rooster." I said automatically with a polite smile.

"Just here for the bar," he said gruffly in reply. He had the stereotypical biker thing going on… black leather vest, jeans, full black leather chaps. I smiled until I passed him and then sighed.

"Nice work with Abby." Taylor said when I walked into the kitchen.

I shrugged modestly. "She needed some cheering up." I downplayed it, really embarrassed at my apparent "mad skillz" at cheering up the women.

"You should have been a therapist," she shook her head.

"Probably… I rarely ask, they usually just come to me." I replied with a sigh. "Unless they're visibly upset and then I ask them what happened."

She shook her head. "One day you're going to make some girl very happy," she said, turning on the cash register.

"Yeah." I agreed, walking back out into the restaurant. I watched as security hauled Mr. Leather Chaps man out the door. Abby watched, unconcerned. When she saw me looking at her, I raised an eyebrow. "He came on to me," she shrugged nonchalantly. Of course he did.

Later that night, I poured more water for a table and then walked over to the next. "Hi, welcome to Red Rooster, my name is Erik, I'll be serving you." I smiled broadly. Man this job sucked. "Can I get some drinks for you?" I asked, looking around the table at the family of six.

All the kids ordered Coke, even the six year old, which her mother promptly changed to water. They began arguing back and forth about the soda and I stood there, smiling politely like a fool. "Mommmm…" all the kids began to whine, undoubtedly hungry and thirsty.

"That's it! Waters for the four of them!" she told me, pointing to the kids. They all broke into groans. "Water for me too," she told me and then went back to arguing with the kids about why they needed to drink water instead of "highly carbonated, unhealthy sodas." She should talk to Jake; he had a six pack of Pepsi a day habit. His mother had been trying to get him off it since he had moved out since technically she was financing this habit.

"Water for me too," their father said wearily then began to referee between his wife and kids.

"Coming right up." I said to no one in particular and walked back over to the kitchen. "Six waters." I told Taylor as she finished with the cash drawer, and then started filling them up, setting them down on the trays. She came over and helped me. "It's not that bad tonight." I said.

"That's because we haven't done your favorite thing," she teased in reply.

"Don't-" I began as she drew breath.

"Happy, happy, birthday, from all of us to you!" she sang.

"STOP!" I complained. "I can't put into words how much I hate that song." I glared down at her with loathing.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a birthday in the house!" I heard another server shout.

"Hahaha!" Taylor cackled. "Speaking of!"

"No!" I whimpered.

"Luke here is 10! Big double digits!" the server, Sarah, was stalling until we all got over to the table to sing. Damn her. I followed Taylor over to the table, smile pasted on. "So from all of us at Red Rooster, we'd like to siiiiiiiing…" she looked around and then started clapping as she sang, "Happy, happy birthday, from all of us to you!"

I clapped along diligently. "Happy, happy birthday, may all your dreams come true!" and then came the worst part of the song: "HEY!" we all threw a fist into the air. Everyone clapped politely.

"I hate that damn song!" I said through my smile as Taylor and I headed back to the kitchen.

"I know!" Taylor laughed in reply as I picked up the tray of waters. I glared at her before walking over to my table with a smile.

I finally got a dinner break around 8:00 that night and went outside with a sigh to get some air. I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my black hooded sweatshirt and looked up at the sky. After savoring a few minutes alone, I began to walk across the parking lot as I pulled out my cell phone. One missed call… Cassie. I listened to her brief voicemail and then called her back. "What's up?" I asked after she had picked up.

"Nothing," she replied, sounding bored. "What are you doing?"

"Walking over to Target to get some food." I replied.

"I'll come over and see you," she announced.

"Bored much?" I teased.

"Very much so," she replied flatly. "Cool if I come?"

"Sure." I shrugged. Fine with me to have company during dinner.

"I'll see you in five minutes," she replied then hung up.

I sat inside Target, patiently waiting for my pizza to be ready. "Hey." Cassie sat down across from me with a smile.

"Hey Cass." I replied as she pulled out a magazine… CosmoGirl! "Now THAT is informative reading." I commented dryly.

"I need to brush up on my horoscope and Freaky Deaky stories," she sniffed in reply, flipping to the first page. I laughed. "How was work tonight?" she asked with a smile, putting her magazine down.

"All right." I grunted back. "I had to sing the song." I added flatly.

Her face changed to a look of sympathy. "Awww…" she cooed.

"It sucked." I grumbled in reply.

"I know how much you love that song," she smirked.

"Shut up." I shot back as my order number was called. "Hang on." I got up, walked over, and picked up my food. I sat down across from her and opened my box. I dug in hungrily.

"Hungry?" she asked dryly.

"Mmm." I grunted yes back, mouth full of pizza. My eyes watered at how hot it was.

"Hot?" she began to laugh.

"Very much so." I agreed. She laughed. "What are you doing tonight?" I asked.

"Homework," she scowled in reply.

"Want to come over? Watch a movie or something?" I asked.

Her expression changed to play-angry, complete with a pout like a four year old. "You know what, Erik, you always use me!" she accused me. "You just want me there so I can kick the guys off XBox!"

I thoughtfully waited the appropriate second for her statement to sink in and then shrugged as I answered, "True."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll come over."

"Not like you have anything better to do." I stated as I grabbed my drink then gave her a winning smile as I said charmingly, "I knew you would."

She rolled her eyes, rolled up her magazine, and smacked me in the head.

I just laughed.

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tlcrescuepa · 7 years

Text

New Post has been published on To Love a Canine Rescue

New Post has been published on https://tlcrescuepa.com/week-end-update-a-beautiful-day-for-a-festival/

Week-End Update: A Beautiful Day For a Festival

We don’t know about you, but after the awesome day we had at Sproutfest today, we are exhausted and know the pups will sleep well tonight! Thanks to everyone who came by to spend some time with the dogs, and alumni who came to catch up! We suspect that some of the pups may well have met their furever families today and are hoping they’ll be starring in next week’s happy tails post but, for now there are a few dogs who are excitedly announcing that they’re off the market.

Bailey was adopted early in the week and, as you can tell from the look on his mom’s face, it was a match made in heaven! Our sweet Susie Q had a bit of a rough go for a while there but she’s come out none the worse for wear and found a great family to star in future chapters of her happy tail. Also adopted this week were: Alvin, Caramello, Chubbs, Davidson, Dixie, Huey, Kipper, Kirby, Rose (now Maya) & Sweetpea!

Susie’s gotcha day

Alvin

Caramello

Chubbs

Davidson

Dixie

Huey

Kirby

Rose now Maya

Sweetpea

Bailey

We also have some updates to share too:

Calvin FKA Sam

“Calvin is doing great and adjusting well!!!! He’s such a great dog and he’s very spoiled! He loves playing with my mom’s dog! He seems to be very afraid of water so we plan to work on that.

Thank you again so much for everything! “

Geno FKA Eugene

“Geno and I are doing great. He is with me 24/7. He goes to the office with me every day. Perfectly housetrained. Not an accident or a territory marking yet.

He loves everybody , kids and adults alike. He also likes all dogs. Everybody loves him too. My almost 5 y.o. granddaughter adores him. When I walk him in the park near my office after lunch almost everybody talks to him and pets him. People always comment on his very unusual for a G.S.D. reddish color. I bought a doggie DNA kit to see what he might be mixed with other than GSD.

He is a predator. His main goal in life is to get a squirrel or rabbit, He lunges at them and tries to chase them on our walks. He crouches down and stares at them and tries to stalk them. He also barks and lunges at birds. He bites bees out of the air. He gets them with his teeth and has not been stung yet.

He is still skinny. He weighed 75 lbs when I had him weighed at his vet’s office a couple of weeks ago. He might be a little more now. His vet advised me to feed him puppy food. I give him Eukanuba GSD puppy chow. I always mix some kind of meat with it. He also gets something from me whenever I eat. He is skinny but very strong and otherwise healthy.

I am not sure what his prior owners did to him. He has broken teeth. I assume from biting on a metal crate or on a metal chain. Luckily it does not affect his eating. When I raise my voice to him (rarely) he crouches down and almost crawls on his belly to me for forgiveness. But when I tell him he is a good boy or that I am not mad at him or give him a pat he is so happy.

He loves his walks. When I put on his leash, he literally hops around and “talks” to me until we get outside.

Thanks again for rescuing him and approving me to adopt him.”

Wiley Jones FKA Joseph

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“Wiley Jones aka Joseph is doing really good! The little guy is so sweet and is settling in nicely. He was like Velcro in the beginning but I think he is starting to know this is his permanent home. I discovered he is afraid of squeaky toys so I have a product line of cutting them out and sewing his toys back together. lol. He is a little shy with some strangers we encounter on our walks which is understandable. Each day he gets a bit more confident. And, he is eating really well too. I mixed some steamed peas with his dried kibble and now he seems to be in love with it! He did well with his bath too.

We went to my vet Tuesday night so he is all setup there and they recorded his microchip as well. I got some pet insurance for him too just in case.

I do want to get him some training as he has some manners he needs to improve. We are working on sit and how to walk better on a leash. I will likely reach out to one of the two trainers you suggested.

Thanks again and here are some pictures of the little guy!”

Cassie FKA Cash (aka Jelly Bean)

“Everything is going well with Cassie (formerly Cash). She hasn’t broken through the invisible fence in months. Her “cousin” dogs (my daughters’ dogs) have made her acquaintance and tolerate her insatiable play requests. She is friendly to all and a good dog. Unfortunately, my husband passed away at the end of August so she and I are both adjusting to a new routine.”

Stanley FKA Stan

“We decided to change his name to Stanley. We are starting to settle in. He was a bit nervous for the first few days. He is still working on letting us know when he needs to go outside to go to the bathroom, and he does not like his crate during the day, but we are adjusting. He seems to be learning his name and learning to sit and walk on a leash already.

We went to the vet yesterday and everything looked great. He got a shot for Lyme, and the vet said he is doing well and to give him a few weeks at least to adjust. So everything is going pretty well!

I think I will contact one of the trainers for a little help with crate training and with his barking at other dogs. He seems fearful of other dogs especially bigger ones, so we would like a little help with that.

Thank you for checking up on us and for all of your help! Here are a few pictures of Stanley. He loves to sleep next to us and get his belly rubbed. We love him already!”

Greysyn FKA Rocket

“Everything is just perfect, we love Greysyn (previously known as Rocket) so much. He amazes me everyday with how intelligent he is, he is such a sweet dog but he still is very leary of strangers. He truly makes me laugh everyday with the way he throws his toys around and runs around like a nut. He seems very happy and very eager to please. He’s my little snuggle bug! He really helped me with getting through the loss of my beloved Pomeranian and I couldn’t ask for a better fur baby.

Thank you again for your assistance in helping me find him.”

Noli FKA Renee

““Renee” is settling in great! Her and my current dog Baby are getting along amazingly! While I think Renee is a very pretty name I’ve decided to rename her “Noli” short for Cannoli. She is scheduled for a check up with the vet. Next week and I’ll be verifying the Micro-Chip info this evening. Crate training has been going well…though I do feel like a monster putting her in at night and when I leave for work! (She’s getting a little better with it everyday). “

Abby FKA Kali

“Thank you for the follow-up email. Yes, I have change her name to Kali. She is still getting used to it, but she will get it in time. I have a vet appointment set for tomorrow afternoon. We verified the microchip info while I was at the center – it was wrong the first time, but is correct now. I will look into the training, but Kali is really well behaved and may not need much. I think since she is 3 it makes a difference or she just is a good sweet girl! She is good with the house and made herself right at home! Taking over my bed and pillows!!! Still getting her used to the neighborhood. She doesn’t like cars or trucks and living in a town, we have a lot, but she will get used to this also. But she seems to love her enclosed backyard!”

Gracie FKA Jannece

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“I just wanted to update you on my adoption of “Gracie”. We got past the beginning car sickness and tapeworm and she is doing quite well. I couldn’t be happier with her and I think she loves me (I love her, too) and is very affectionate to my husband & family members, as well. She is SO AFFECTIONATE! We take long walks every day and she gets plenty of attention and treats. Thank you for all you and your rescue do. If you all did not save these dogs, they would never get a loving life – or any life at all! I cannot imagine this dog being put down – she is so loving and always wagging her tail! She deserved a good home and I think I gave her one (with your hard work)!

Thanks again!”

Higgins

“Thank you for checking in! Higgins is settling in very well so far, it has been almost a best case scenario with how him and Cappi have been getting along. “

Vini FKA Vincent

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“Hi! Vincent is settling in quite nicely! We’re keeping his name, but i think he responds to Vini so that will be what we use. He went to the vet Monday and tested positive for giardia so he started medicine for that today. I left a message with someone to contact his foster family, as they have other dogs there who may be affected. Vini has been a little shadow to our Doberman Kavi. They are adjusting to each other well. I’ll attach a pic. Thanks for checking in. He is an absolute sweetheart! “

Skyler FKA Marley

“Thanks, all is well with Skyler (marley)! She is a great pup.”

Max

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“Max had a great time on his first camping trip!”

We also caught up with Piper FKA Maggie May & Lucy FKA Daphne (who met her mom at last year’s Sproutfest)!

Piper FKA Maggie May

Lucy FKA Daphne

#adoptions #pupdates #updates

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