#I was told abt this a while ago but I was rereading it and saw it with my own two eyeballs and wanted to vomit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Text

rock

Summary - spencer wants to figure out what's wrong with you, only to be reminded what day it is and he remembers why you've been so distant.

TW: talk abt: rape, recovery, therapy, case stuff; mention of: drug addiction, rape, miscarriage, being shot, death lol

WC - 4,283

!DISCLAIMER! - i am in no way trying to romanticize recovery from a traumatic event or being upset/depressed/anxious. this is kinda my way of getting through my own issues, so please don't think that's what i'm trying to do in any way. i also don’t know how i feel abt this ending since i wrote it so long ago but oh well!

i just realized there are a few spoilers so i'll put *asterisks* around them. those parts are just explaining how the reader's always there for the team.

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you had always been the rock in spencer's life.

mentally, at least.

when he had nobody there for him when he was going through his addiction with dilaudid, there you were. you helped him through it when everybody else on the team acted as if they never noticed.

you were the one that encouraged him to get help, and pushed him to follow through. you made sure he ate and talked to someone when he had his urges again, even if it wasn't you.

you let him come over and cry about what had happened, and how unfair his life was. you consoled him and would tell him how nothing was his fault. how he didn't deserve anything bad in his life.

*and when emily 'died', he went to your house every day. you held him as he felt himself falling apart from losing her. you didn't even worry about yourself needing to be consoled, because spencer needed you to be there for him.

*when she came back you were the one to convince him to forgive her. you talked sense into him. you reminded him how much he pleaded to have her back, and then he did. so he managed to forgive her... because of you and your logic.

*and you weren't just there for spencer. while, yes, you made a special effort to be there for him, you were there for everyone on the team.

*when derek was arrested back in chicago and the team found out about his past, you were the one he leaned on for comfort. you and penelope. you let him cry on your shoulder and yell at you about how twisted a man would have to be to do something so cruel to a child.

*when jj was kidnapped and beaten to a miscarriage, you were the first she told. you didn't say anything. you knew there was nothing you could say that would relinquish the pain of losing a child. so you let her cry. you let her hug you for what felt like hours. you let her grief her unborn baby for as long as she needed.

*when penelope was shot, nobody cared to check up on her after the fact except you. you went to her apartment for weeks just to make sure she was okay. eventually, she was able to let loose all of her frustrations on you, and you took it like a champ. she ranted about how she just wanted to be loved by someone attractive and how unfair and cruel the world is, in spite of how much good she tries to bring into it.

*when hotch lost hailey, you took care of his files. you offered to watch henry and let hotch cry to you about losing her a few times once you broke past his tough exterior. you even cried with him and jack. you made them dinner whenever you could, and helped him look for good nannies to help care for jack.

*when rossi lost carolyn, you went to her grave with him on many occasions. you brought him his favorite scotch, which was very pricey, and his favorite cigars, also very pricey, and tried your best to recreate 'the rossi special' upon his directions. it helped him feel in control of something when he needed it.

*and when emily came back from the dead, you helped walk her through her own grief. she lost herself, and buried her emotions. you helped her dig up her old self, and grow into an even better woman. you even took care of her cat when penelope couldn't manage. you helped emily grieve her own death when she wanted to deny it ever happened, and she was forever grateful for you.*

you had become like the team's built-in therapist when something bad happened, and you loved it that way. you loved being the one the team went to when they needed it. it made you feel as though you had a purpose, which was something you desperately needed.

but when you went through your own trauma almost a year ago, you refused help from anyone. you knew you should've asked someone for help, or at least someone to cry or talk to when you needed to.

the team had been working on a case for longer than expected, 8 days now, and everyone was really frustrated. you had released the profile 7 days ago, and there was still no new information. it was as if the unsub had gone dormant, and you all couldn't bear that thought.

when the team released earlier than normal from the precinct and you all went to the hotel you had been staying at, you decided to get a drink from the bar quickly. you went alone, wanting to review a few of the case files during the process and not needing a distraction.

you ordered a jack and coke, and opened the case files to begin rereading them, seeing if you had missed anything.

victims were kept for 24 hours, filmed, raped, restrained, cut in pieces, and thrown in the trash like garbage. it was absolutely disgusting, and the worst you had seen in a while. the victims were low-risk and most of them had a place of authority.

the unsub had been profiled to be someone who was bossed around by a woman, narcissistic and egotistical, wanted to feel more power and authority.

the problem is, that profile was most people living in the area. even penelope couldn't dwindle down the suspects.

and alas, you had missed nothing. nothing new appeared or caught your eye. you gulped down the rest of your drink and paid for it before packing up your things to head upstairs. you tossed the file back into your bag and began the trek to the elevator.

you were interrupted by something hitting the top of your head, rendering you unconscious.

the team had woken up, and after waiting around for half an hour, spencer realized something was wrong. he had morgan bust into your room, only to find the bed unslept in. you were missing. and the worst part... you fit the unsubs type.

spencer felt his heart drop at the realization he had taken you. and it seemed as though there was no trail as to where you had gone. penelope checked the cameras, only to find that they were hacked right after you left the bar, and then they resumed after you were taken.

at least they had a time frame.

later that day, after everyone hasting to figure something, anything out, spencer had gotten an email. he opened it and expected it to be relentless spam, only to realize it was a live feed video. a video of you. he instantly called penelope in hopes that she could trace it.

she said she could, but it would take some time because the amount of routers it had been going through.

while they were waiting, you noticed you were alone. you knew who the unsub was too, thanks to his baffling stupidity and narcissism that lead him to believe he wouldn't get caught.

"officer johnson! it's officer johnson!" you looked around the camera for a second, noticing something moving. "he-he here," you cried out. "i love you," you said to the camera to nobody in particular, but someone in mind.

you were terrified. spencer could see it in your eyes. he could see the tears you tried not to shed. you didn't want to please him, but you couldn't help but feel the absolute horror and fear coursing through your body at a relentless pace.

"hi there, missus fbi," he teased, finally walking into the frame with a ski mask over his face, clearly not aware that we knew his identity.

spencer told garcia who he was, and she began her digging. officer johnson's great grandparents had owned a farm that was since then refurbished. it was an hour away.

officer johnson had known that you two had chemistry. that's why he sent the email to spencer. he saw the longing glares, the 'innocent' touches, the smiles you would give each other, the longing looks you shared. he wanted to torment him.

so when he began undressing you and you turned your face away from the camera in hopes of sparing some of your own dignity, spencer felt his heart breaking for you. it broke even more when he heard the yelps, and screams, and please, and "no!'s" you elicited during the act.

they caught him before he cut you, but not before he finished the first part of his plan. your skirt was ripped, and your shirt was practically in two pieces. spencer had given you his jacket to cover yourself as much as you could.

you stayed silent the ride back. you didn't even let spencer hold you like you normally would after a tough case. you were ashamed. embarrassed. you felt worthless. you felt pathetic. you felt stupid. you felt helpless. you felt like you were drowning. you felt like you were without a life raft.

you knew you could talk to the team about it, but you felt so disgusted by the thought of what happened to you that you only talked about it in your therapy sessions.

hotch had given you two months off. he wanted you to grieve, and go to therapy, and try to cope with everything that had happened.

and you did try to do that. you tried your hardest to get over it and move past it, but nothing helped. not the journaling. not the talking. not the crying. nothing was working.

spencer gave you a little space at first, but he then decided to try to help you as you had helped him. he went over to your house almost every day, and sat outside your door after you wouldn't let him in.

you knew he was there... you sat on the other side.

"i-i know that you probably don't want to see anyone right now. and i'm uh, i'm sure you feel alone right now, or like you can't talk to anyone," spencer sniffled. "but pl-please just uhm, just know that i'm here when you want to talk about it. i'm here to listen to you when you need me to. i-i don't want you to be alone during this time, y/n. please, just let me in," he begged.

that was normally what he would say almost every night he went to your house. he would sit outside for hours after he would ask you to let him in without fail. until one day you let him in.

spencer felt so much relief when you opened the door, only for it to be smashed when he noticed your eyes looked red and puffy, your cheeks were stained with the tears you had been crying for so long. your cheeks were sunken in, and there were dark circles underneath your eyes that were once full of life and happiness. your eyes no longer had that gorgeous sparkle in them.

spencer vowed he would get them back.

as much as spencer wanted to wrap his arms around you in that moment, to comfort you and tell you that he was there, he wanted you to make the first move. he wanted to tell you how strong you were and how proud of you he was for getting through that. he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

he wanted you to make the first touch, because he didn't want to further upset you. he didn't want to trigger a repressed memory, or bring back the feelings of what had happened.

but spencer's touch was nothing like the officer's. spencer's touch was soft and gentle. spencer's touch was feather-light and endearing. spencer's touch was love and home. the officer's was brittle, and rough, and repulsive.

"hug me?" you sniffled as your eyes welled with tears again as they had been for the past three weeks.

"of course," spencer slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders as yours found his torso.

he walked inside with you still in his arms and slowly shut the door. without breaking from the hug, you both walked to the couch and sat down.

you didn't say anything. you just needed spencer to keep hugging you, so he did. he did whatever you wanted, needed, from him. eventually, you fell asleep in his embrace on the couch.

when spencer looked down at you, now sleeping against his chest, he couldn't bring his heart to remove himself from you. so like any whipped man would do, he carefully picked you up bridal styled and carried you to your room. he took his shoes off as well as his sweater vest before cuddling back up next to you.

as if it was a reflex, you cuddled up into his chest when he neared you again and got underneath the covers. spencer slept the best he did in months with you. and you slept without officer johnson in your dreams for the first time since that day.

ever since then, spencer had been making sure you were eating and drinking. he took you to your therapy sessions and stayed over most nights you had asked and he was able to.

they had a few cases during the two months, so every moment he could, spencer was with you. he coaxed you back to your normal-ish self. he watched as that glimmer in your eye began to slowly grow brighter everyday. he watched as your smile came back, and your tears didn't come so frequently.

the first time he had heard you laugh again, spencer had thought he was dreaming. he wished he had recorded that moment. he was more grateful than he's ever been in his life that he had an eidetic memory, because that sound would forever be engraved in his brain.

when you returned to work, you clung to spencer. he had become your tether to reality, and hope. he had become your rock during the recovery.

over the months, everyone slowly began to forget what had even happened. things went on as usual, and the team forgot the traumatic experience you had gone through. even spencer might've let the experience get lost in his brain.

so when it became 11 months and 3 weeks since the abduction, you began to distance yourself once again.

you politely declined going out with the team a couple days before the anniversary, something you never did. you insisted that you were just especially worn out from the case you had just been on.

spencer had to finish files given to him by derek anyway, so he didn't get to witness the encounter.

once the day of the anniversary came upon you, you found yourself feeling sick to your stomach. you couldn't help the tears that would fall from your face every so often. you knew why you felt this way, but you wanted to push past it.

you had gone into the office wearing a pantsuit and blazer, wanting to avoid the normal office skirt you happened to be wearing the day it happened. you stayed at your desk and quietly did your case files. you didn't even greet spencer as you would every day. you gave him a kind smile, but you would normally give him a hug, or at the very least an eager wave upon his arrival.

spencer just assumed it was one of those days where you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. it wasn't spencer's fault he thought this. he didn't even look at his calendar to check what day it was. he just knew they had paperwork.

but he did have this day marked in his calendar. he had it marked so he would remember to be extra kind to you, and do your files for you, and come to your place with your favorite wine and takeout. he wanted to help you through the one year anniversary, but he forgot to check his stupid calendar.

you thought he didn't care. you thought the man who you loved, and the man who helped you through everything that had happened had had enough of your complaining and grievances. so, you didn't tell him about it. you didn't bother him with the terrible thoughts clouding your mind because you thought it'd burden him.

so when you finished all of your case files early, you asked hotch if you could leave early, at 2:00, because you had things to tend to. he allowed you to do so, but this rose a flag for spencer.

he saw you exit without saying goodbye to him, something you hadn't done the entirety of knowing him. you had always told everyone to have a nice night and to be safe before leaving, but not today.

finally, he looked at his phone for the first time all day, only to feel like the worst person in the world to realize what day it was. spencer felt absolutely horrible at this revelation and ran into hotch's office as quick as he could after packing his things.

"hotch!" he exclaimed upon opening his office door.

"go. she was practically in tears," hotch informed him. "and reid," spencer stopped in his tracks to turn and look at the stern man, "please make sure she's okay." spencer gave him a soft grin and a nod before turning around and bolting out of the office.

you had gotten home and immediately burst into tears. you shut the door with your back, and slid down it. you had never understood why people had done that in movies until now. you just couldn't wait to break any longer, so you settled for your front door.

you held back no wail, or scream as you cried in front of your door, your knees pulled up to your chest as you held them tightly.

you wondered why you had to go through that. you wanted to know what kind of karma there was for someone who had always tried to do the right thing to be hurt... and for nobody to even care. nobody wanted to console you, or to make sure you were alright.

you had checked up on everyone on every anniversary of their struggles. whether it be a death, abduction, anything, you had been there for every single anniversary or reminder. and nobody was there for you.

nobody was there for you to hug, or to lean on, or to cry to, or to scream at, or to rant to. nobody was there. nobody loved you enough to care about that.

but then you had to remind yourself that they all had lives.

but the person who is your life didn't even care.

spencer didn't care.

and that's why you truly lost it.

he acted like it was just another day. he acted like it wasn't the anniversary of the day you thought you were going to die. the day you wanted to die. the day you felt your most low, and humiliated. the day you lost all hope. and he didn't remember.

if the man with an eidetic memory didn't remember, it must be extremely insignificant. so therefore, you must be extremely insignificant.

spencer raced to your house. he wanted to be there for you today, and he failed. he felt like a failure as a friend. he hated himself for not being there for you when he knew you would need him. he knew how you clung to him in your time of need. you thought he was worthy enough to hold onto when you needed someone, and spencer felt elated at that.

but now he wasn't there for you. and you needed him.

he had quickly stopped by the store and your favorite takeout place to get the things you'd want. he got your wine, chocolate, food, flowers, and a teddy bear that had a sweater vest on him - you've always loved his sweater vests.

when he got to the steps of your house, he felt his heart drop. as he walked closer he heard the wails of your crying right by the door. he could sense the heartache from the edge of your porch, and felt himself feel even worse, which he didn't think was possible.

he instantly ran to the door and knocked profusely. you sniffled one last time, feeling embarrassed that someone had heard you crying your heart out. you had figured one of your neighbors heard you and wanted to tell you to keep it down, so you wiped your tears and the stray mascara from underneath your eyes and opened the door, keeping your eyes lowered in embarrassment.

"y/n," spencer announced sadly, a tear falling down his face. you looked up in confusion from hearing his voice. you noticed his tear and reached up to wipe it away on instinct.

"why're you crying? are you okay?" you asked, forgetting all of your own problems at the sight of spencer crying. spencer let out a small chuckle at your concern.

"i'm alright, aside from the fact that i'm a terrible friend," he admitted as his smile quickly faded upon seeing your stained cheeks. "i brought your favorites," he offered, holding the bag of goodies in one hand and the takeout in another.

"y-you... why?" you asked, wanting to make sure you weren't misreading the situation for him trying to comfort you.

"why?" he asked in disbelief. "because it's the anniversary. i can't tell you how sorry i am, y/n. i swear i marked it on my calendar and planned for us to take off so i could take care of you. i-i just woke up late and never bothered to even check my phone. i kn-know it's no excuse... but i am so, so, so sorry," he rambled out, already tearing up.

you grabbed his arm gently and pulled him inside before you started crying in front of your neighbors. you took the bags from his hands and placed them on your coffee table.

"i thought you just didn't care," you shrugged as you took a seat on the couch, prompting him to sit beside you.

"y/n..." he sighed as he realized how terrible he screwed up. "i will always care about this. i will always care about you. don't ever think differently. i'm just incredibly... dumb sometimes. i can't believe i made you think that," he trailed on. "i will never not care about you, y/n. i swear it. i will always, always care about you. i will always love you," he froze as he realized what he just revealed. your eyes widened, and squinted, and roamed his face, trying to figure out if he meant the words he had just sped out. "i truly do, y/n. i i’m in love with you and i'm so sorry i made it seem otherwise."

it took you a second to absorb everything that he had said.

"you too," you solemnly admitted. "i’m in love with you too. and i could forgive you... for almost forgetting," you gave him a small smile.

"i'm glad you could forgive me. i don't know what i'd do if you didn't," he relished. "you actually love me?" you nodded with a small smile.

"i have for a while," you turned your head to the bags on the table.

"oh! right!" he said, reaching for the gifts. "i got your favorite takeout, your favorite wine, your favorite chocolates, flowers, and..." he trailed on as he revealed each item. "i saw this teddy, and i couldn't resist," he smiled.

you took the bear, taking in its appearance. it had a light blue, navy, and white diamond pattern sweater vest and brown shoes on. it looked like spencer, just teddy bear form. you smiled widely at the sentiment.

"it's you," you grinned as you took it in your arms, hugging it tightly as you saw spencer nodded with a smile mirroring that of your own. "i love it," you chuckled.

"i would understand, the fur is really soft," he relished in the thought.

"i don't think he'd be as good of a cuddler as the real thing, though," you grimaced. "but he'll do for when i don't have you here i guess," you shrugged with a smile.

"i plan on being here as long as you'll let me," he said softly.

"always," you grinned, setting down the teddy bear and trading him for the real spencer reid.

"always," he repeated, taking you in his arms and squeezing you tightly as if you'd float away at any moment. "now let's dig into this food while you talk about your feelings, if you want that is," he said after releasing you from the hug.

"i think i want to," you nodded. "and spence?" he turned from getting the food out of the bag to look at you for a second. "thank you for being my rock through all of this."

"i'll always be your rock, y/n."

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid angst

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icharchivist · 3 years

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first: WAHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭 I got so emotional!!! so emotional!!!! so much that I can’t even do this first second pattern bc I have SO MANY thoughts!!!!!!! I’m writing this in my notes instead of straight into the askbox so u know it’s serious business™

ok so debut night!!! I was like ahah yeah it’s a tragedy whatever it’ll be fun to start out with and then the voice acting was SO good that it knocked me out of the park and I almost cried haha. it’s crazy how good the voice acting in a3 is like I love how the dialogue and voice acting works well together bc like it’s limited but so effective!! u can so very clearly see and understand the style they’re going for. especially like tsumugi’s death scene... the Talent jumped out it really did... uh and ok so. I think I may be a littleeee confused abt the play bc I had always interpreted tasukus last lines as raphael to be like abt his being secretly in love with michael. but now that I’m actually reading the line that’s like oh don’t fall for a human it only ends in misery I know that all too well or whatever... ig the implication is that raphael was in love with another human / the same lady michael was in love with in the play. side note I had to go back and edit the proper names in instead of tasuku and tsumugi lol... but speaking of!! speaking of the voice acting and the play itself I 1) love how blatantly obvious it is when tsumugi goes for that grander, tasuku like style of delivery!! like u could just so easily feel the difference it was wild... and 2) tsuzuru is once again spot on with his writing, lol... I felt that like raphaels inability to save or help michael really parallels how tasuku feels abt tsumugi so well, and it’s wonderful that they r able to resolve things and tasuku can properly compliment him on his acting where the angels fail to do so. it’s very good. and I think the play rly highlights (for me at least) that like. to tasuku, it was tsumugi who was sort of an unreachable existence. like were he to idolize and respect someone’s acting, it would be tsumugi. and I think that like caring carries over into their roles really well, because I think in michael’s love for a human tasuku sees like... tsumugi’s style of acting. the heart that he’d lost while within the god troupe. mb I’m losing my mind a little but ah. the play rly works with their relationship so well!! im very excited to see the other winter ppl get main roles tho—same for all the troupes!!! now this ask is too long so I’ll have to do another part lol

going to start off this second part of the ask abt hisoka bc oh my GOD. hisoka. like I was just thinking “hm where r the winter troupe cgs anyways” and then BAM. hisoka CRYING???? especially since he doesn’t seem that emotional it was a really hard hit!!! and who tf is august.... ok well actually theory time!! skipping ahead to the end theres that note that like mentions December and April and. not to expose my friend but very many years ago (a couple years before a3 was launched, at the very least) she wrote this story where there were like 12 orphan assassins and they were all named after months. I remember the main dude was named dec lol. coupled with my “hisoka is capable of murder” bit? listen.... I’m not saying anything but I’m also not not saying anything if u feel me. also I feel like assassin / thief with mysterious background is a common trope!! that was silver from the pokémon adventures manga too... why is this my reference point lmao. anyways I’m unclear if assassins would make it into a3 but like.... if the yakuza and supernatural stuff makes it in...

okay moving away from conspiracy theories and into emotions!!! the quotes from like EVERY mankai actor before the final production made me SO emo... and yay!!! they won!!!! (though admittedly I almost had a heart attack when no one clapped) but they won!!!! that ending cg!!!! and I adore how sakyo immediately goes after god troupe man (I know his name is reni I just don’t feel like calling him that) for the money lol it’s just so sakyo-like. also I love the lil mixed troupe interactions!! I found the game night ch so fun.... ahh, now I wanna reread that ch since it was so good lol

all in all I was super satisfied ahh!! I am SO excited to start up spring troupe again (HELLO character development!!! and chikage) and I’m even MORE excited to get thru all the act 1 events!!!! as a final note, is there any way to reread or replay the flair conversations? I didn’t want any spoilers for the plays while I was doing the practices for them so I kinda sped thru the first time ahah...

HELLO FRIEND IM SO HAPPY TO GET SUCH A LENGHTY ASK ABOUT WINTER IM LKDJFLKDJFLKFD Winter makes me feel shrimps emotions (i know the whole “shrimps can see more colors than humans can’t comprehend” thing has been disproved but i’m not letting go of that expression, i REALLY feel emotions humans can’t comprehend anymore and i’m going to make it everyone else’s problem)

1) First about the voice acting, rIGHT this is just so fascinating to me!!! I remember after act 2 i came back to reread the main act 1 chapter and i was so thrown out by how GOOD the voice acting was, especially for the first few troupes having to convince you they’re not comfortable or good at acting yet. Winter whole thing is that they’re more subtle and mature and you really feel that with their voice acting, Tsumugi’s voice especially knock it off the park anytime he’s on screen.

2) Second: what does it say about me that i’ve never, ever considered your reading a possibility because i was so set on “oh Raphael you’re in love with Michael sooooo bad you see it as a tragedy already because you can see him throw his life away” i didn’t even consider “maybe Raphael went through that too”. Though i guess if we’re going with that reading i can totally see “The Woman” they let themselves consumed by easily be a representation of acting or even more the God Troupe, with Raphael/Tasuku knowing to step away before it consumes him completely while Michael/Tsumugi, by his love and passion, pushed himself until he broke, which fits and it hurtsssss god Winter plays hits so hard.

3) Third: oh god yeah when Tsumugi goes for Tasuku’s acting it’s just. It makes me SO uncomfortable, i’ve experienced this scene like three times by now and the third time i was just “can i skip it i can’t go through this again i can’t Tsumugi i love you i can’t do this”. It doesn’t match the play at all and it just throws everyone off balance, and Tsumu you could have told theM YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.... god

4) Fourth: I LOVE YOUR READING SO MUCH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT YES YOU’RE RIGHT!!! Just as we follow Tsumugi let his passion consumes him until he breaks, Tasuku’s character arc really jumps out in Raphael, like, everything you say!!! The way Tasuku/Raphael knew how the feelings Tsumugi/Michael felt would hurt him on the long run but he didn’t know what to do about it until it was too late, the regrets and the way Raphael voices his frustrations.... Tasuku struggles to be honest without acting (Tasuku pls i love you) but having such a role really help him expressing all he feels about Tsumugi and i’m HHHH this is so good so so good!!! but yeah i also love that Tasuku finally manages to actually compliment Tsumugi naturally, that he understands he can’t let him destroys himself again and it’s just gnhhhhh Tasuku is so kind and considerate and i care about him so much....!!!

5) Fifth: “i’m losing my mind a little” winter mood, winter mood winter mood- (though every troupe’s mood tbh but Winter is gnhhhhh kdhd hdhjf??? you feel me) (i am BIASED i can’t help it TwT) but yeaH i’m looking forward to see how you react to the others plays because the roller coaster juST BEGUN!!!

Onto part 2... Winter Troupe Chapter Feels... 2!

6) Sixth: DLFJDFKLDF HISOKAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH. Hisoka crying fucked me up so bad!! so so bad!! Like on my first read i didn’t know what to think of him as he starts out very apathic to his troupe and then the more it goes on the more you can feel he starts to open up and i’m soft for this sort of slow burn, but then this whole scene happened and it HIT ME IN THE FACE, he was crying, i was crying, we were all crying, the Unopening Door opened a flood of emotions i can’t cope with. He sounds SO VULNERABLE during that scene and i know all of the Winter Troupe united on “taking care of him” but that’s really the moment i went “i care you and i will keep taking care of you” and look at me now. Thanks funky little scene for ruining my life. I’m glad you liked it i’m aldhjflkjdfkd Hisokaaaaa.....

7) Seventh: I am not commenting on the theory but 👀 that’s so highly specific your friend has a galaxy brain i love it. and i love the idea of “well we have yakuza and supernatural entity what’s an assassin adding himself to it” dLKFJDLKF i know everyone in Mankai calls Izumi out everytime someone joins but that’d be peak. I’m not going further about what December and August and April are all about but i love this plotline sO much, the few mentions of August when Hisoka regained his memories for a minute still haunts me, the guilt he seems to feel and this pain i’m just... godddd such a good set up. I love this plotline.

8) Eigth: EMOTIONS!! Oh GOD YEAH THE ENDING WITH ALL THE OTHER ACTORS... I cried so hard it’s just. It really shows you it’s not just the culmination of the Winter chapter but of all the act 1 main plot and it really makes you feel how much of a journey you’ve been onto!! A3 is so good at showing you the growth of its characters that especially by the end of Winter you really saw how all of them grew in their respective chapters and how cozy they felt in their new home in the remaining chapters, and the fact this chap has those defining character arc’s lines really drive home “oh my god that was a journey” i love them sO MUCH....

9) Ninth: wE WOOOON!!! They’re all so good i just. i’m gonna cry just thinking about it dlfdjlfk i know like, the game has so many content so you know it can’t end at the end of Winter but the suspense really was there. BUT YEAH LMAO I LOVE SAKYO DOING THAT IMMEDIATLY, man sure has the eyes on the prize and we love him for that. AND THE GAME NIGHT SCENE they are all sO CUTE and sWEET and they’re a family now and i’m hHHHHH i love a3 a normal healthy amount that isn’t just making me cry thinking about how all of them grew so close even through mixed troupes.

10) Tenth: I am SO happy you were satisfied with the plot so far!! I’m genuinely so happy that you decided to take that journey with us and that you shared all of this with me, and i’m so so happy you liked it!! There is still so much content and all of it is so worth it!

11) Eleventh: Yes!! The flair conversations are all readable on the Mini-Chat tab! So they’re easily accessible and they’re sorted in a way that’s easy to read so you can feel comfortable skipping the flairs if you want until you have seen the stories the flairs are all about. They’re all kinda set during the rehearsals (except for some crosstroupe conversation that wouldn’t make sense if they were like how the Summer Troupe talks with the Spring Troupe in their Flairs DKLFJDF but it’s okay what is a timeline anyway) so some of them are set pre-development and it’s wild to get back to them. I love rereading Flairs i get emotional everytime.

ANND That’s it for this ask! i had a blast reading through your thoughts and i’m so happy and excited!! i’ll send you the drive now so you can start digging through it whenever you feel like it :3c good luck grinding for act 2, meanwhile i hope you’ll have fun with all the act 1 events i compiled for you!!

(side note i need to update the drive too but it’s mostly act 2 content anyway, the only two act 1 things i need to update on it is Sakuya’s birthday card i think?? i think Itaru’s is already in act 2 so i’ll try to get around to it eventually but it’s so far away anyway) (edit: i forgot that the three cards i got for the latest revival are from act 1 DLKJFD okay so i’m missing three cards -)

The drive has backstages and event stories and it may be a lot and overwhelming ahah. Focus on the event stories for the plot and go back to the backstages whenever you feel like it, no need to read them at the same time, unless you want to in which case everything is set up for you :3c and there’s a file with cards that aren’t associated to events too so... lots of goodies hanging around. I’ll send it to you in DM ;O

Take care and thank you so much for all your thoughts! my inbox remains wide opened for any others thoughts you may have as you go further into it :3c

#ichafantalks a3 #i love the winter troupe SO MUCH it's unreal this ask made me cry i was just LDKJFDLK WINTER!!!!!!!#i love your thoughts so much thank you for all of it <33 #sonnets-of-beauty #ichareply #long post for ts

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hobidreams · 3 years

Note

TUMBLR LOWKEY UNFOLLOWED YOU AND I MISSED THE LAST CHAPTER UNTIL TODAY BUT I GOT TO READ IT AT WORK AND I'M LIVING FOR IT.

- but on another note: long ass theory time. Might turn this into parts, as to not clog the timeline instantly.

So my former conclusions were always that

Yoongi was an ass to OC after the death of the queen, and hated her to some degree, but needed her in some way he probably didn't even understand himself. Despite the pain she was the closest thing to home he still had and the fucking was a way to be closer, still in some weird way. 1/🤔

under a cut bc longer 💕

omg pls don’t worry about it!! tumblr is always unfollowing people for no damn reason but I’M GLAD UR BACK 💗

2/🤔- followed by him developing and showing the desire to please her too, though he wae being rough time and again. Showing he still treasured her, although he wasn't expressing it with words and probably still mad and conflicted about it. Yet The level of intimacy they got, him moving literally all the possible concubines out of their place just to make way for her and not touching anyone else once again, showed a level of deep trust and care, a sense of security and with this chapter today I'm starting to think he might have forgiven or seen through her. Like 🤔

ooooooo I REALLY LIKE THIS READING 💖💖 it’s true, they’ve been around each other for a loooooong time. they know each other very well, even though there’s definitely parts abt each other that remain a massive question mark!!

3/🤔 the guard oc was with, was probably forced to tell him about the trip and any abnormalities, he probably told him about the incident, making Yoongi actually see the OC he'd known before. Like the kind and loving and pure OC he fell for years ago. He may have figured that she didn't mean any bad and would have changed things if she could have. Idk, but one thing he for sure figured was that she was deeply hurt and distressed by what happened and despite him being an ass to OC sometimes, he's still a sucker for her and unable to see her actually be as broken as this 🤔

4/🤔 and maybe this is why he was eager to make her feel that good, distract her by eating her out, so that sje wouldn't be in this state anymore, but maybe still seeing the ( still living?) person he probably loved most (Sorry @, Eunuch Kim.) like this just broke part of him too, which led him to let his guard down and finally do what his heart told him and unleash the feelings.

ahhh my heart is singing bc i’m so happy you’re seeing him like this!! 😭💗 he has so much nuance that is easy to look past but this makes me giddy ahhhh!!! he certainly is SO eager abt it, but eager to do what? 😉 also omg poor Eunuch Kim 🤣

But maybe, just maybe, this was also him allowing himself to such much more intimate actions because he's being afraid of losing that person in the palace, who saw the human being in Yoongi.

Idk mate. I'm guessing both. Anyway, I'm so curious to where this is heading and whatever we'll see from both of them. That being said, thank you for giving us this story.

Probably gonna reread that chapter like 30 times because hellll yes

omg THANK YOU for taking the time to analyze the chapter & send me such a sweet, thoughtful series of asks. i wont lie to u, it made me smile so widely while reading (& re-reading!) 🥺🥺 it means the world that my characters can make you so interested. you are the absolute sweeeetest and no i won’t take any arguments. pls take care 💗💗💗💗 i hope u enjoy what’s to come!!!!

#alwaysonmilkyway #rain reply #moonlit throne

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wincore · 3 years

Note

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

#tata 💖#anon #answered

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foolishs-blog1 · 5 years

Text

☾ ▹ ° ⋅ aaron tveit / thirty - five / cis male ; have you had the chance to meet gabriel crowley ? he has lived in old sprigg for thirty years , gaining a reputation for being quite intrepid , romantic , tragicomic & tenebrous . this pansexual gemini can be found around the clover and he works as a lawyer & playwright . most people tend to associate them with expensive shirts undone at the throat and rolled up to the forearms , and the passenger seat of a well - loved car piled with reusable coffee cups , half - scribbled drafts and case briefs alike .

this was meant to go up earlier but i fell asleep and then my laptop decided to reboot itself and i lost all my progress and i kind of had a breakdown over it . anyways ! i’m vanya , i’m 20 , i’m writing from aest / hell , and i tend to use she/they pns . i’m the world’s worst law student , so catch me whipping up lengthy emotional responses when i’m meant to be writing letters of advice n whatnot ! this is the first of two intros , so bear w me --- - but without further ado , here’s the loml , gabe !

𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎 . x 𝗱𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗲𝗿 .

full name: gabriel arthur crowley .

nicknames: goes primarily by gabe .

age: thirty - five .

date of birth: june sixteenth .

place of birth: old sprigg , missouri .

occupation: local lawyer , aspiring playwright .

gender identity & pronouns: cisgender male , he/him .

sexual identity: pansexual .

romantic identity: panromantic .

western zodiac: gemini .

hogwarts house: gryffindor .

𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚘 . x 𝗯𝗶𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗵𝘆 .

so , gabriel is from a pretty prominent family in old sprigg --- - they’ve been living there for generations , and lay claim to a mom and pop convenience store in the centre of town . the crowleys aren’t wealthy wealthy , but they are comfortable ( which is what rich people say , but whatever ) . he’s the oldest of his five siblings ( wcs that i’ll probs pop in later , oops ) and the responsibility of taking care of the shop has fallen to his younger sister .

just for reference , the family structure is below ! they range from 35, obvs, to 27 . they were all born in quite quick succession . bold indicates twins !

gabriel .

younger sister .

younger brother .

younger sister .

growing up , he was quick to assume responsibility and play the protective older brother --- - he helped get lunches ready in the morning , helped cook dinner , helped look after the younger four ; he adapted well to the responsibility . he’s always been quite mature in that respect , always choosing to go home and help with the younger kids than to go out and party and whatnot .

throughout his childhood , he showed incredible promise with language . he was a keen reader , and developed a taste for classic literature early on . his teachers understood that and responded to it well , and fostered that love . by the time he was in fourth grade , he was being sent off to do much more advanced work . he’s maintained this love for literature and language --- - an entire room in his house is dedicated to all of his books . ( he’s formed his own little library , and he’s not mad about it . )

somewhere in high school , he was introduced to the possibility of doing law , and fell head over heels . there was something about its innate intricacies , the interweaving of theory and language and cleverness that spoke to his soul . he started discussing the idea with his parents , who jumped at the idea of having a lawyer in the family again ( bc who the fuck wouldn’t ) --- - they eventually decided on a university in kansas city , and before he even realised it , he was applying .

he moved out of the family home at eighteen , car loaded with boxes and heart full of sorrow and the inexplicable joy of what was to come . he can’t say he’s sorry for leaving , but he will admit that it was hard . living in such a close - knit , beautiful family , you get very attached to the people around you and having to leave is a pain like no other . ( he drove home every chance he could , brought books and records for his younger siblings to swap around , told stories of university life with only a touch of embellishment , bc no one wants to hear another story abt how you stayed home on friday night rereading the iliad again . )

he pretty much cruised through uni on high marks , tbh . in his latter years he became a tutor and peer mentor , but he pretty much stuck to himself for most of his time there . he dabbled in theatre arts , stage managed and starred in a few shows , but for the most part he stuck to his own guns and got through uni the way he wanted to . it’s here that he starts drafting ideas for his own plays , but he doesn’t take them too seriously . he tends to write them as a detox from writing legal essays , and his first ones aren’t great but they get better and better as time goes on .

after he graduated with first class honours , gabe started looking for work and after a month of relative unemployment ( there was a whole lot of greasy takeout and near - teary breakdowns experienced that month ) , he got the job of an absolute lifetime --- - working as a legal assistant in a firm in new york city . he didn’t hesitate about taking that job .

new york wasn’t quite what it was cracked up to be . the rent on his apartment was exorbitant , moments of peace and quiet were transitory , he was overworked and underpaid , but there was still something about it that appealed to him like nothing else . he’d save his change and go see broadway shows when he could , fell in love with everything about the theatre . note that his burgenoning love for theatre didn’t replace his love for the law --- - it merely grew out of the same place , that same love for language and literature that drove him into law .

he ended up working in new york for about five years before deciding to pack it in and move back to old sprigg . there’d been a job opening back home and he was starting to feel the urge to return home --- so five years ago , he packed up his car again and made the long trip back home . he doesn’t regret leaving new york , not at all . he’d made quite the success story of himself there , and it’s not like he couldn’t just travel back and forth for big cases . the firm was reticent to let their ‘ hotshot little attorney ’ go , but it’s been the best thing for him .

he’s been back for five years now . he bought a house relatively close to his parents and siblings , and has since established a small business offering legal advice and taking on distance cases . he travels back and forth , but he loves it regardless . he’s adopted three dogs and a cat , all of whom insist on sleeping in the bed --- - gabe gets the smallest sliver of bed , naturally . he’s written two plays ( both of which have been published ) and he’s starting work on the third one now .

idk he’s just happier in old sprigg than he ever was in nyc and he deserves that

𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 . x 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗸𝘀 .

style inspirations: spencer reid , the tenth doctor . it’s a lot of expensive dress shirts and scuffed - up sneakers . when he’s actually in court , he’ll dress quite professionally but when he’s not , he’ll keep the nice shirts and swap everything else out for worn jeans and converse in varying colours . occasionally , we’ll get a knitted scarf .

exhales ... big on saving the environment . turns up to convenience stores with canvas bags in tow , has a reusable coffee cup for every mood , tries to make as little waste as humanly possible . he’s slowly weaning himself off of meat , and he won’t go fully vegan , but he’s doing his best to avoid meat and dairy . ( yes , he saw greta thunberg’s tedtalk and promptly felt guilty and started making changes . )

used to smoke , because it was a social thing in the firm he worked at in nyc . since he’s moved back , he’s quit . he’ll have one a week if he feels the need .

he did a few shows in high school and university . he’s got a fuckin beautiful voice , and if you walk by at the right time , you can catch him singing to himself and his dogs while making breakfast .

he jogs , bc of fucking course he does .

talks with his hands a lot . doesn’t know where he gets it from .

holds a regular saturday night movie marathon at his house for friends and family , and seeing as fall is approaching it’s gonna be halloween movies from now on . he’s a sucker for a good horror movie .

angelic in every way , shape n form . thank u .

#◜ ❛ : 𝒾. 𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗶 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 ─ ⊱ intro.#sprigg.intro #is this the best intro i could've written ?? no . but it's an intro

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harmony283 · 5 years

Text

Mana’s Notebook Ch 2

A/N: Well hey just barely got this out on time! This is ch 2 of a longer fic I’m working on that I hope I’ll actually finish! Also on Ao3 because tumblrs formatting hates me.

Previous Chapter on Tumblr since it went by a different name though I recommend reading Ao3s version by of the extra scene at the end.

A.W: So Cross found out.

Allen had debated on whether or not to send that one tiny text or not. He knew it was late and that Kanda was probably either asleep or answering his own set of very uncomfortable questions from Tiedoll, but at the very least he'd probably want to know Allen was going through the same damn thing--or went, considering Cross had left roughly fifteen minutes ago.

Part of him felt giddy, still, at the prospect of finding something of Mana's that he hadn't obsessively read over, but at the same time he felt guilty too. He highly doubted Cross would have reacted the way he did if the notebook had been a good thing, right? And now Lavi was going to probably get yelled at for it, even though all he did was give Allen Tyki's contact information.

Which led to a whole other set of questions that just made Allen's head hurt. He knew logically no one would probably open the door at near 4 am in the morning, much less to an irate and tipsy (though not drunk, for once) Cross. Allen knew Bookman was a colleague of Cross's and that they'd mutually borrowed things from each other for years now, with Lavi goofily acting as the messenger boy, but would Bookman really let Cross yell at him? Allen hoped not. Besides, last he'd heard from Lavi he was out delivering something for one of Bookman's clients--so would he even be home ?

Their shop wasn't even close by! Not really, so was the trip really that worth it? Would Bookman let Cross stay the night or was he going somewhere else after? If so, where? He'd said he'd be gone until afternoon so, again, was it really that serious?

“Great . ” Allen sighed and stared down at his phone, “Another thing to worry about.”

***

Just as Allen expected he didn't wake up until late the next morning. His clock read 10AM and the first thing he saw when he checked his phone was an equally as short reply back:

BaKanda: Yeah mine wasn't happy either .

Well that answer Allen's unasked question from last night. So he groggily reached for his phone with his right hand and pulled it closer before typing out:

A.W: Ouch. Sry abt that.

Immediately another ping notification went through.

BaKanda: You're up early.

Allen groaned at that and sat up. Too early, more like. Then again he stayed up later than usual so maybe he could forgive himself.

Before he could even roll off the bed to grab his shirt another text came through:

BaKanda: What was it anyway?

Oh. Well. Allen should have expected that. Cross had even said he could tell him as long as he didn't give any details. He tugged on the sweater from the night before and typed out:

A.W: Just a notebook I thought I'd lost .

Okay that wasn't really a lie, was it? Sort of? Okay, maybe it kind of was--

Suddenly his phone was ringing--

Naturally it was Kanda's number flashing on the screen. Well then.

Allen pressed the green call button and immediately turned it to speakerphone, “Someone found it. Apparently I left it at Cross's office one day.” Better elaborate, or as Cross called it convince, convince, convince before you can even be called a liar. “I was kind of writing it off as lost for good since I hadn't been there in months, y'know?”

There was an odd pause on the other end of the line. Then Kanda let out a loud sigh, “ Huh. Well then lucky you. ” There was no telling if he bought the story or not, “Guess it wasn't anything too important?”

Allen winced just a little, “Well. I was sad when it went missing. It was--I was copying down some notes. Music notes, y'know?” Okay he could feel a little bad about this later, “It probably made absolutely no sense to whoever found it unless they knew how to play the piano.”

“Most people know the basics.” There was a grunt, then Kanda was cursing, Allen was about to ask if he was okay when he continued, “Did they leave a note or anything?”

“A note?”

“Yeah. Saying who they were or how they found it? If they had it a while they probably went through it too.”

Allen grimaced again. He knew, maybe they had and that that was probably why Cross was so nervous, just like he knew he also didn't know why it was such a bad thing that they went through Mana's notebook, other than it being an invasion of privacy--

“Oi, cat got your tongue?”

“N-no!” Allen stuttered, “I just haven't looked through it yet. Fell asleep before I could.” There was another loud thump on the other end and, okay, Allen had to ask, “Are you okay?”

“Just practicing, why?”

Well then. “I shouldn't keep you, then.” That and he knew Kanda would start wheedling him, finding more cracks in his half-assed story--Allen knew there were benefits to convincing someone just as he knew there were benefits to knowing when to stop . “Are you going to Lena's today or is she working?” It was a Saturday but often times she helped out at her brothers lab so someone else could have the day off. “I...sort of texted her last night too.” That, at least, wasn't a lie even if it hadn't been anything important. He never replied back, so he knew she was probably worried.

“Fuck, really?” Allen heard Kanda groan, “Wasn't planning on it. Try just texting her. I'd rather not stop by if her brother's around.” A.k.a the lab. Who knew what happened in that lab on a daily basis? That was at least something they could agree on.

“Yeah I'll do that.” His reply was a little stilted, but they both probably knew what the other was thinking, and with very little preamble Kanda ended the call because of course that was just the Kanda thing to do.

So instead Allen opened up Lenalee's text window and reread the last few messages:

A.W: I'll see if I can get Kanda to do it? Will let u know if he says yes! Sent at 11:02PM. He hadn't said much just that he found something he'd lost. Reading back over it, especially now that Cross explicitly told him not to say anything made him feel guilty all over again.

Lena: Sorry didn't see this! Yeah let me know! Where did u need to go? Text me when u get back! Sent 11:45PM

Yeah, the guilt increased ten-fold, because again--he never had because the conversation with Cross and then he'd fallen asleep after texting Kanda and only Kanda. So for all he knew she was probably worried sick.

So he swallowed his pride just a little bit and typed up what he hoped was a decent reply:

A.W: Hey sry it was late when we got back. Fell asleep. I'm okay. Have a good day at work :)

****

Lenalee honestly didn't know whether to be worried or relieved when she woke up the next morning without any new texts from Allen or Kanda. Part of her knew she shouldn't have expected much, after all it had been late, and they both probably assumed she was asleep. So really she couldn't be too upset at them even if it meant she'd spent the entire morning glancing at her phone as she got ready. She even got ready a little slower than usual, even though she knew Komui expected her to stop by and help out at the lab around 9 o'clock.

Which meant she could only waste so much time before she had to tuck her phone away in her purse and head on her way. Part of her would question why Kanda didn't at least text her first, seeing as usually he was awake by now exercising, but at the same time it had only been Allen who texted her last night, and even though he gave Allen a ride in the end that didn't necessarily mean he knew what was going on.

Either that or he forgot his phone existed. Again.

That was always the problem with being friends with mostly guys. It was exasperating as it was endearing, so when Lenalee got to work she was almost glad for the distraction the paperwork provided. It was probably why she nearly jumped when her phone vibrated from its spot next to the pile of paperwork she'd been filing.

A rush of relief ran through her as she saw the text on the screen:

Allen: Hey sry it was late when we got back. Fell asleep. I'm okay. Have a good day at work :)

Followed by a larger rush of both annoyance and worry because that text? Didn't answer anything. Honestly it really made her wonder if he was trying to worry her on purpose, or if he was just oblivious. Chances were it was the latter, it was Allen after all, but that still left her with more questions.

For one, how did Allen know she was at work? Granted that was the easiest question to answer after all her brother usually needed help on Saturdays and even if she couldn't do much except sorting and filing paperwork she definitely enjoyed the task. It got Komui to actually come out of his office more, and she could at least say she was being helpful. Everyone else in the lab was sweet, too and kept her up to date on what insane project Komui was working on next.

Two, again where did they go? She could assume Kanda knew more and that he would easily answer her once he figured out his phone existed again. But even then she wanted to hear it from Allen not Kanda after all it was Allen who asked for a ride in the first place.

That led to the third question of what it was that Allen had even found? If it was important enough he would have just told her last night, right? Even if it wasn 't important she knew if he was excited enough about finding it he would have told her. But he didn't. He'd just been excited enough to call Kanda out at nearly midnight to go retrieve it.

And now she was worried again.

Until she heard her phone buzz again. This time it was Kanda:

Kanda: Oi did the bean text you yet?

Well at least now she knew Kanda had found his phone. Though the timing was oddly specific, which had even more questions flooding around in her head. Maybe she was thinking too hard about this, but at this point could anyone really blame her?

So she shot a text to Allen first:

Lena: Ok I was worried u dummy! Did u find what you were looking for?

Then to Kanda:

Lena: Yes he did. What happened??

At the very least she would get answers out of one of them.

****

Honestly Kanda shouldn't have been so surprised when he got a text back from Lenalee almost immediately. If Allen had texted her just like he said he did then who knew what she was thinking could have happened? That alone reminded Kanda of how little he actually knew himself, other than that he had a clear suspicion that Allen was probably maybe lying. Again he was pretty sure it wasn't anything illegal, but it definitely wasn't just some random ass notebook filled with music notes and piano chords that he was pretty sure anyone who'd gone to elementary school would probably remember.

Not that either of them really had a traditional schooling experience, but at least Tiedoll had tried.

In other words unless it had something important or maybe embarrassing in it then Kanda really didn't know why it couldn't have waited until morning. But that still left Lenalee's text unanswered and he knew she wasn't above text spamming him--at work or not. So Kanda quickly shifted back into a resting position before grabbing his phone and replying:

Kanda : What did he tell u?

Maybe it was a little mean to answer a question with a question but he also didn't know if maybe he'd told her more than him. Chances were probably not, after all it was Lenalee . She wouldn't be afraid of telling Allen how bad of an idea it was. Hell, Kanda hadn't asked just based on the assumption that it couldn't have been a bad place and now look--he found out Allen was maybe lying and landed with even more questions that in turn he was worrying too much about.

He grabbed the closest water bottle he could reach (he had several in here mostly because he usually refilled them then forgot they were in here) only to realize it was half empty. Dammit he needed some water. So he groaned and pushed himself up off the studio floor and opened the door into the hall. Tiedoll's house was much bigger than it had every right to be, but at the same time having four boys plus being an artist in need of several studios did that a person. Probably.

Also having four boys tended to make one a hover-er, because Kanda hadn't even made his way down the hall to the living room-kitchen-dining room before he heard Tiedoll call out:

“Yuu is that you? My you're up early!” There he was at the foot of the stairs with a gigantic laundry basket in his hands, sweatpants, sweatshirt and bare feet despite the fact it was, again, only February. Not that Kanda was about to point that out considering just by seeing him he remembered that painfully short and awkward conversation from last night.

So instead he only nodded his head and continued walking to the kitchen. There he opened the fridge and pulled out yet another half full bottle of water he probably shoved in there at some point, chugging down its contents before grabbing a third, turning around and-- shit .

Tiedoll was now standing on the other side of the bar with a worried smile on his face, clothes forgotten. Great. “Were you working out? Good, good, I would have thought you'd sleep in--”

“I wasn't out that late.” Kanda muttered, though hell even he knew that was a lie. “Didn't we already talk about this?” Wait, wait, no . He wasn't going to instigate this. He turned and tried to walk past only for Tiedoll to sigh softly and ask:

“If you'd like to say that counted as talking about it, then yes we did. I don't think it counts, though because nothing really came out of it.” Tiedoll was moving around the bar now, towards Kanda and oh dammit . They were talking about it now, weren't they?

*** FLASHBACK TIME***

The minute Kanda opened the front door he knew Tiedoll was still awake. Most likely because he'd either heard Kanda jump out of his window or because he saw his car wasn't in the driveway. Honestly Kanda was surprised he was even able to get out in the first place, with how attuned Tiedoll seemed to be, but the point was clearly he was awake now and probably had been the entire time.

It still always unnerved Kanda that such a calm unassuming man could have such a presence in a room before Kanda even stepped into it. Though at least he let him actually walk in, hang his jacket up and kick his shoes off first before asking any questions.

“You know I'm going to have to ask you where you went, Yuu.” Tiedoll flicked on the nearby table lamp and continued to watch until Kanda shuffled into the room. Yes, shuffled because he definitely wasn't a night owl like Allen was. He would probably have to keep this brief because he could tell when his body kept trying to wake itself back up again, and that he was teetering on that edge where he was just straight up exhausted--something only sleep could fix.

So he went with the easiest explanation first. “Allen texted. He was hungry--We went to the 24 hour McDonalds.”

He could see Tiedoll raise an eyebrow at that. He definitely didn't believe him. Not that Kanda really expected him to entirely, but they both knew it wasn't unusual for Allen to text for a ride, even though it was much later than usual. “I'd ask why this late and if you spent the entire time there but--”

“--Can I sleep first?” Kanda knew that sounded bad the minute he said it. Knew that for all intents and purposes Tiedoll could tell him no and to sit back down because yes Kanda was technically an adult now, being 21 now, but he did still live under Tiedoll's roof and rely on him for things like food and a warm place to live rent-free.

But surprisingly? Tiedoll only sighed again and nodded his head, “Alright. But we're talking about this in the morning. Don't forget.”

***FLASHBACK END***

But of course Kanda kind of had, mostly because the minute he'd stepped into his room and checked his phone he'd seen Allen's text message. He knew his talk with Tiedoll had been brief but that only delayed the inevitable awkwardness, whereas Allen at least got to sleep on whatever horrifying thing Cross said.

Great.

“So you remember now?” Tiedoll asked motioning to one of the nearby chairs, “Sit, sit. We're talking about it now while we have the chance.” Which usually meant before the others were up. Mainly Daisya because Kanda knew Chaoji would probably have to leave for work soon and nothing was ever really successfully hidden from Marie. Not with how good his hearing was.

“We really did go to McDonald's.” He started with before Tiedoll could ask again. “I was serious. He ate half of the damn menu somehow.” It still made Kanda ill to think about all that damn grease he'd shoved into his mouth.

He must have been making a face because Tiedoll started chuckling at that, “Oh I believe it, but Yuu even then you wouldn't have left so early or gotten back so late even if he ate all that. And yes I know when you left. I was dozing but not fully asleep.” He paused here then helpfully tacked on, “And when I checked I saw your car missing. So no I didn't think it was Daisya or Chaoji getting home.”

Again Kanda scowled but fuck it if he hadn't assumed that himself so, “Your point?”

“My point .” Kanda could feel when that look changed. A literal shiver ran down his back, “Is that by now you should know better than to lie. I know how long it takes you to pick Allen up and how long it takes for you two to get to McDonalds and back. I can do basic math. I know there's a span of time you went somewhere else and now you're not telling me where? I won't even point out that you smelled like cigarette smoke from a brand I know you don't smoke.”

Oh. Oh . Kanda could feel himself cringe all the way down to his toes. Not just because Tiedoll had a point, but because he probably knew the brand based off smell alone. Kanda wasn't stupid, he'd been friends with Allen long enough that of course Tiedoll had spent enough time around Cross! And if he recognized the brand--

“Now. Is there anything you want to tell me?” Tiedoll leaned forward in that way that made him both look unassuming but also like he could legitimately threaten the answers he wanted right out of you. This situation was now leaning towards the latter.

Well. Shit. Hopefully Allen would understand Kanda telling him some , even though he wasn't even sure himself of some of the details, “Allen asked for a ride.” He started off simply, sitting down hard in the chair next to Tiedoll. Maybe if he made this quick he wouldn't be mad? Or would maybe realize he was blowing it out of proportion a little bit. “It was after eleven so Lena couldn't do it.” At least he didn't have to explain that part, Tiedoll knew Komui just as well as the rest of them did. “I thought it'd be quick so I said fine. He really did just need to pick something up. It was raining,” Of course they both knew this too, “So that took longer too. Traffic wasn't that bad, he got what he left, and then got hungry so I agreed to pick up McDonalds. Didn't think he'd eat half the menu soaking wet but he did. Then I dropped him back off at home and drove back. The end--”

Except now Tiedoll was holding his hand up because of course he could probably tell Kanda just wanted to get this over with, but details . He wanted details. So he asked the obvious question first, “What did Allen need so badly that he couldn't wait until morning to get it?” And then, because neither of them had said it yet but they both already knew-- “And that also doesn't explain why you smelled like one of Cross's cigarettes. Did you stop in for a visit?” And even then they both knew it wouldn't have been so strong unless Kanda had gone into his bedroom or smoked one himself.

At least that was easy to explain, “I asked for compensation. I wasn't just going to go out in a monsoon and drive him somewhere without asking for something in return.” Wait. That sounded bad, shit . He plowed on quickly, “Especially when he didn't even want to tell me where we were going or why.”

He saw Tiedoll's incredulous face warp into something close to worry, “So you went out at near midnight and drove him to somewhere for some reason and not only that you asked him to steal some of Cross's cigarettes--?” Okay that did sound really, really bad actually.

Dammit now Kanda couldn't really blame Tiedoll for being so worried. Unthinkingly, or maybe just to give his hands something to do, Kanda started unscrewing the bottle cap on the bottle of water he'd grabbed, but he never took a sip out of it. It just felt nice and cold on his hands and helped him not look at Tiedoll as he tried to think about what he'd say, because again he didn't know. He didn't know why, even though yes he knew where they went--so maybe he could work with that? “I'm actually trying to ask him why it was so important. He finally answered me maybe thirty minutes ago.” Which. Shit. He needed to check and see if Lenalee replied too. Dammit, he should have just brought his phone with him. “He said it was a notebook he'd left at Cross's office months ago.” He could see Tiedoll stiffen up here, “Apparently he forgot about it and one of Cross's coworkers found it. Not sure how long they kept it,” Not that that wasn't kind of strange in it's own right, “but I guess they finally told Allen and somehow they arranged to either meet up or to leave the notebook somewhere.” Which...wait. That also didn't quite add up. Why had they left it in such a sketchy ass place if it was just a random notebook? Why couldn't they have given it to Cross to bring home? Now Kanda was even more confused, but right. He had to finish, at least, so he could leave . “No I still don't know why we went and picked it up at midnight unless you want me to guess.”

When he actually turned to look at Tiedoll though he could see how pale he was. That alone had Kanda feeling--not quite squeamish but also like he really didn't want to know what Tiedoll must be thinking. All he knew was he was now shaking his head and murmuring, “No, no, I mean if he tells you I'd like to know but….I supposed I'm just glad you're home.”

Why did that kind of sound like Tiedoll thought he wouldn't be? Who did Tiedoll think they'd meet up with? He knew again that Cross worked with some strange ass people, given some of the stories Allen told sometimes, but surely they weren't that dangerous….right?

Then again given the location he left that notebook they at least didn't think like a normal person logically would, so what did Kanda know?

Suddenly Tiedoll clapped one hand hard on his shoulder, jarring him out of that particular thought, before loudly saying, “Alright. Thank you for telling me this much, Yuu. Sorry for disrupting your morning workout. I'll let you get back to that though I will say please at least drink all your waters first before grabbing a new bottle. Or at least don't leave them littered around the studio! Other people use it too, you know?”

Then he walked over to the laundry basket he neglected and hefted it up before disappearing up the stairs and leaving Kanda to stare after him. He didn't even get a chance to try and defend himself, then again--fuck it. Tiedoll had a point and it wasn't like he didn't know who did it, after all Daisya and Chaoji both liked sports drinks better than just bottled water.

So Kanda sighed, grabbed the water he'd gotten from the fridge, and slowly walked back to the studio. Where he'd left his phone. He grimaced a little but pulled up his most recent messages. Shockingly he had five unread text messages from her, and two from Allen. Huh.

The first one was almost immediate after his reply:

Lena: He hasn't told me anything since asking for a ride

The next two came ten minutes after and had Kanda stalling and staring.

Lena: He said he's fine though?

Lena: Why wouldn't he be fine?

Because hadn't he just been thinking that? Or something close enough to it? Why wouldn't Allen be fine? Why did it feel like they'd been in more danger after the fact than during? What wasn't Allen saying?

Finally, the last one was from only two minutes ago.

Lena: If u can't tell me just say so.

Well. Fuck. Then again since he didn't reply immediately it definitely did look like he was ignoring her. So he took a deep breath and quickly texted back:

Kanda : Sorry Tiedoll.

Kanda: I asked him too he didn't rly answer.

There. Because now Kanda was starting to realize Allen had definitely lied. Maybe not about all of it, considering he really had grabbed something that night in the pouring rain that someone had left. But who it was and what it was? Clearly he wasn't telling the whole truth. It made Kanda wonder why he didn't want to tell them, but he knew this was probably the perfect example for why--Lenalee was nosy only when she was worried and Kanda only when he knew the other person was lying.

In this scenario Allen fit both scenarios.

Speaking of which, Kanda clicked on the two unread texts from Allen.

Beansprout: What did u tell Lena

Beansprout: She wants to meet after work. U free?

Well at least that was one way to resolve everything, maybe not perfectly but Kanda could always tell if someone was lying a lot easier when they were face to face. So Kanda quickly typed out:

Kanda: Yeah I should be. Where?

#D. Gray Man #Allen Walker #Kanda Yuu #Lenalee Lee #Froi Tiedoll #AU

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shinwnn · 6 years

Text

just friends au jimin

summary: basically you and jimin are the cutest best friends ever and youd be a perfect couple and he sees that and you kinda see that but you don’t wanna be in a relationship rn (why?? i dunno what r u thinking)

you’ve been studying all night for your finals tmrw and at 3 am you finally decide to go to bed

you check your phone before going to sleep and see a message jimin sent you 4 hours earlier

“power through!! this test is going to be a piece of cake for you”

with whatever energy you had left, you tried to type out a message

but your eyes were already half way closed at this point so it came out like

“thsnkd jimn ilovek u good mnigjt“

and as soon as the text goes out you cringe a little bc jimin has been your best friend for years and yes, you love him, but a few weeks ago when he asked if you guys could be more than friends you rejected him

so this sleepy “ilovek u” felt like you were taunting him

when you get a text back though, you let out a breath you didnt know you were holding bc jimin doesn’t seem to notice at all

“don’t stay up so late next time okay? you need to take care of yourself. good luck on the test! :~) ily2”

you smiled to yourself and cuddled up against a stuffed polar bear he won you at the carnival a few months ago before you fell asleep with the warmest feeling in the world

(one that you’ve noticed that only your best friend can bring you for some reason)

what you don’t know is how hard it was for jimin to type out that last text

he was in the practice room working on his piece for his big national dance competition and was beating himself up over not being able to do a small part as good as he wanted to

but all the anger, stress & frustration he was building up faded away when he saw you had texted him

and when he saw your poor attempt at an “i love you” his heart fluttered but immediately dropped

last week, while you guys were at your favorite cafe doing homework (which you guys always did at least twice a week), jimin looked up from his essay to see you staring so intently at a math problem and he couldn’t help but just smile and be overwhelmed with love

he is just SO fond of u and he shows you that everyday with how much he cares about you but it hurts him that he hasn’t been able to tell you that he loves u as so much more

and he had known that he liked you as more than a friend right when you started hanging out

but something about that moment with you sitting across from him, ur messy hair, tired eyes and all, he just wants to tell u that it doesn’t matter how many dancing competitions he doesn’t place at, or how many sleepless nights he spends practicing bc you make everything good. you’re comfortable for him and you’re home to him and he loves you

and while this is all going through his head he’s just looking at you

when u look up from your work and meet his gaze you raise your eyebrows at him and look at him expectantly bc he seems like he REALLY wants to say something right now

you: what?

jimin: what?

you: you look like you have something really important to say

jimin: i just can’t stop thinking about the fact that alaska has more caribou than people. it’s just so ......fascinating

and you roll your eyes but you can’t help but laugh bc jimin’s face is lit up and seeing you laugh just makes him smile even more and you can’t help but wonder if this is the world’s brightest smile

but still, you know your best friend well and you know that jimin’s joking to cover up what’s really on his mind, so you keep pushing him to tell you

and he doesn’t want to, mostly because he’s really afraid of what happens next

you turn your attention back to your work, knowing that he’ll break eventually

but what you don’t expect is how quickly he does

bc hearing your laugh and watching you wrinkle your nose in the cutest way he’s ever seen gave him a sudden boost of confidence

so he leans forward across the table and quietly says

“hey... i like you.. a lot”

you look up again, wide eyed, and see how hopeful he looks and you just... freeze

bc ofc you’ve thought about this.

ofc everytime jimin walked you home or stayed up late to listen to you rant or brought you lunch when he knew you weren’t eating enough you’ve thought about what an amazing boyfriend he’d be

and everytime you guys can tell what the other is thinking through just a look, or laugh for hours at a joke no one though was funny, you’ve thought about the fact that maybe you’ll never find anyone as perfect for you as jimin

but you’ve also thought about that fact that you didn’t feel like either of you were in a good place for a relationship

you were both busy with school, jimin was always overwhelmed with dance practices and competition training, and you’ve been trying to balance your current job with interview after interview for a better one

mostly, you knew how important dancing was to jimin as a part of his future and you wanted him to focus on that.

you came to terms with the fact that you’d only be a distraction, and that no matter how much it might hurt whenever you pulled out of a hug before it got too long, or broke eye contact when you saw how much love there was in his eyes, you knew that in the long run, this was what would be best for him

right?

in that moment, with him looking at you so warmly you wanted so much to intertwine your fingers with his and tell him that yes!! you liked him too!! so much!!

but instead you said

“yeah jimin, i know. i like you too, that’s why we’re friends.”

you tried to keep a light, casual tone in your voice and smiled weakly at him before throwing yourself back into your work

jimin’s smile faded and he paused a little from shock of what happened before shaking his head and tugging on your sweater so you’d look back up at him

“no, no, not like that. i mean- yes like that. i do like you as a friend. but also more than that. you know? like i like you a lot more than that. as like, a girlf-”

he was nervously rambling and he still hadn’t let go of your sweater

you cut him off “right, friends. you’re a really good friend jimin. my best friend. you know i really appreciate that right?”

and in the way that you guys have always been able to read each other, jimin knew that this was your way of saying no

he slowly let go of your sweater and leaned back into his chair

you refused to look up from your assignment, but if you did you would’ve seen a heartbroken boy going over and over in his head about what he possible could’ve done wrong

by the time you guys left the cafe to get dinner together, you were both talking like normal again, there was an unspoken agreement to pretend like nothing had happened

but it was impossible

and that’s why when jimin reads your text, he rereads it 20 times and types out “i love you too” before deleting it and retyping it 20 times

and he finally settles on a simple ily2, but still his finger hovers over the send button before he finally presses it

back to the morning of your test, you wake up at 7 and check your phone, smiling to see a text from jimin.

“morning! i’ll be over at in 15 with breakfast.”

you sigh and close your eyes, thinking what you did to deserve this boy as your friend

after rolling out of bed and starting to get ready, your doorbell rings and you open the door to see jimin (somehow looking amazing this early in the morning) holding two bags of food and smiling in a way that even his eyes are smiling with him

he comes in and starts to set up the food in your kitchen and he knows where everything is because he’s over practically all the time

and you’re just watching him thinking “god I’m an idiot why wouldn’t I want to date him? he’s literally perfect??”

sleepily, you walk over and ruffle his hair and look at him lovingly (but like friend lovingly (you swear))

and he stops arranging the plates to look back at you and was about to tell you off for messing his hair up but you’ve never looked at him like that before

like he’s seen you look at him thankfully or with pure joy or fondly

but this is different

and when he told jin abt you and how you had rejected him, jin told him to use a pick up line when the time is right

but he doesn’t throw out a cheesy line in fear of ruining the moment so instead he says “why are you looking at me like that?”

“don’t get any ideas jimin, i’m just thankful for the food.” (nice save)

“of course! what are friends for?” he says winking at you

because right, you’re friends.

just friends.

#jimin #bts #bts au #bts scenarios #jimin scenario #just friends #this doesnt end cute relationship y #but id like to imagine that eventually when they're both in really good places they start to date #bc its like theyre both waiting for each other bc of how much they mutually understand that they love each other #cute!!!!??? yes??

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