#when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

randomoranges · 3 years

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sometimes my life is an actual sitcom. i wish i could say i made this stuff up, but now, i legit met a guy while selling a shoe rack who came back to chat me up post sale bcs he thought i was pretty. he then proceeded to tell me a million times in one hr and has since been very over the top about being into me. as much as it’s nice to have attention u also gotta pace yourself. hes so over the top it’s ridiculous and also getting more annoying.

also never fucking send ppl semi nude photos unprompted wtf is wrong with yall.

anyways i live vicariously through teacher au and use real life shit to put the characters through the same thing. today i vibed with edward.

this takes place before he and étienne are together

this is a blurb. i just needed to get a thought out of my system

edwards answers are legit what i wrote

the gag of all of edwards exes having names that start with c continues XD

Unsolicited

Edward knows he technically shouldn’t, but he’s bored at work and for once, the kids are actually quietly doing their own thing. He decides against his better judgement to open Facebook and scroll aimlessly for a moment or two, while time goes on. It’ll give him a chance to see what exciting lives the rest of his friends are living and envy those who aren’t stuck at work.

He quickly notices a red little number up on the top right corner to signal that he has one unopened conversation and for a moment, he wonders which of his friends would have messaged him. There hadn’t really been any ongoing chats at the moment, so he’s pleasantly surprised and looking forward to hearing from his friends.

He’s only a little disappointed when he sees that it’s not from any of his friends, but instead from a guy he’d met just last Friday in the most strangest of ways. (His friend had hosted a garage sale and had asked for help. Edward had gone. He’d brought along some of his own stuff. This one man – Charles – had bought his old wooden shoe rack. Charles had chatted Edward up. They’d exchanged contact information and had more or less chatted since then. It was a strange way to meet someone – but, not the strangest.)

Charles is – cute and they had a pleasant chat. Edward certainly hadn’t minded the attention, even if it had come from out of nowhere. He’d been looking forward to meeting up with him again, but as the days had gone on and their conversations had progressed, he’d found himself slowly losing a bit of interest over Charles’ over-eagerness.

There were just so many times Charles could say he thought Edward was attractive in an hour before it got redundant and annoying.

Edward was flattered Charles was interested in him, but Edward didn’t want to rush this either. He’d just gotten out of a serious relationship and with the end of the school year looming close, he had other things to deal with. Once summer break arrived, he would have more time and more energy. In the meantime, however, he didn’t need this stranger he barely knew to wax poetics and tell him he wished to wake up beside him to see how he woke up – or whatever garbage he’d been told. Edward was willing to give this a go, but he wasn’t looking to settle down and get married with Charles after knowing him for three days and it quite honestly felt as though Charles had already booked their venue at times.

He was – over the top and intense. Edward had appreciated the fact that Charles had told him he’d found him attractive when he’d first seen him and he liked that he had actually returned to chat him up. It had been a little weird when Charles had called him his beloved and stranger still when he’d apologised from taking up his time and keeping him away from his friends when they’d talked that first time, but Edward had let it slide and had almost found it charming – in its own bizarre way.

Now, it feels as though Charles is trying too hard, when really he doesn’t have to. Edward thought he was attractive, had even told him so and was more than willing to see where this would lead. but if However, if Charles doesn’t slow down, Edward will back out and move on. (Which reminds him – there’d been that whole other conversation where Charles had told him that he looked forward to living their lives together and that he didn’t want to lose him. To which Edward had politely told him that it would be best to get to know each other first.)

Edward wants some fun – not some intense long-term lovey-dovey besotted nonsense. At least – not after three days of talking with the man.

Still, he opens the conversation, curiosity, and boredom getting the best of him, and at first, it’s nice, until Charles asks him if he could have a photo. Edward lets out a long-suffering sigh and is glad his students are too busy with their work to notice.

Charles has asked to send him a photo right now, of all things.

Edward is so not in the mood for any of this.

“No. I’m in class teaching. My students are taking a test.” He writes out. He doesn’t care if he comes across as annoyed, but this man is being irksome in his own infatuated way and it’s – pathetic. He likes the attention, to a degree, he enjoys feeling wanted, but Charles needs to calm down his ardours.

He leaves it at that and doesn’t bother with Charles for the rest of the day.

By the time Edward’s done, he heads to his car and figures he’ll check again to see if he’s gotten a new message. There is still part of him that is curious about this whole ordeal and so he’s a little bit pleased when he sees that Charles has sent him a few messages after their last chat.

He’s less enthused when he gets to the last one.

The first was in regards to the whole photo debacle, saying maybe next time. The second mentioned that he was going for a jog. And the last message – the kicker really, was a photo Charles had sent of himself, shirtless and thankfully from the waist up.

And to think Edward had nearly sent him a post-work exhausted face selfie for the fun of it.

He grumbles, puts his phone away, and figures he’ll deal with it when he gets home.

It’s not that he necessarily minded the photo – he did find the guy attractive to a point, but – it had been unprompted. Unsolicited. He hadn’t asked for a photo. He hadn’t been expecting a shirtless photo. He wasn’t in the current mood to receive such a photo. He could have been at school on break and gotten this photo.

He’s angry and annoyed by the time he gets home.

Edward putters around and leaves Charles on read. It’s one thing going after sex and expecting these photos and it’s another to get them out of the blues. He lets his friends know of this debacle and relishes in their reactions. He’s glad someone gets it.

Finally, after making dinner, playing a few rounds of video games, taking a shower, getting his lunch ready for the following day, and having a nice chat with his friends, he decides to answer Charles.

“Even if a photo of a woman, man, or person shirtless may be nice to receive, it’s always better to send it with consent and with fair warning. Especially when you’re not expecting one and that with my work, there are often children nearby.”

He doesn’t expect an answer so quickly, especially since it’s been five hours since the photo was sent, but Charles, true to form, answers. Edward laughs out loud when he reads how very sorry Charles is and how he genuinely thought Edward would appreciate it. Edward sighs again and groans, passing a hand through his hair.

He tries to find a polite way of trying to get this man to understand and he’s only a little surprised by how easily the words come to him, “There’s a time and place for everything. You don’t send these types of photos willy-nilly whenever you feel like it. There’s context, time, mood, etc. Consent and fair-warning. Imagine you were sitting with your family, friends, or kids and you received such a photo without warning. You can’t assume that the person on the other side is in an appropriate setting to receive these types of messages and images without checking beforehand.”

It’s at times like these he wishes men could be less – like this. He likes a good shirtless photo just like anyone else who’s into men, but he hates that this seems to be a norm. And at least this was only a shirtless photo! He doesn’t want to think of the number of times when he was having a nice conversation about literally anything unrelated to the human body, only to find himself with a photo of a man’s junk, completely unprompted.

Sometimes, he almost wishes he were into women just to be spared this.

Edward figures he’s given Charles enough etiquette lessons for the night and puts his phone away. He pulls up something decent to watch on television and does his best to forget about the incident for now. If anything, he reminds himself, he doesn’t need to commit to anything with this besotted Romeo.

FIN

#teacher au #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #au #fic

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akechicrimes · 4 years

Note

Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?

37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”

after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.

(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)

“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”

They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.

The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.

That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.

Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.

Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”

“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”

There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.

Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”

“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”

“That’s what phones are for.”

“Calling people is scary.”

“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.

“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”

Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.

She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.

In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.

The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.

She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.

There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.

Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.

Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.

Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.

Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.

So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.

Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.

She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.

She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.

Everything is the same.

Didn’t she help kill a god last year?

Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?

Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?

Didn’t she help change the world?

Everything is the same.

Tuesday, 1:43 PM

YUSUKE: Futaba?

FUTABA: yo inari

FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what

YUSUKE: Ah, no.

YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.

FUTABA: oh no

FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion

FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult

YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.

FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge

YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…

FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but

FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade

YUSUKE: Oh, is it?

FUTABA: wh

FUTABA: are y

FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT

FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????

FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????

FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know

FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice

FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever

YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.

YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.

FUTABA: i literally did not say that

YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,

YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”

FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration

YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.

FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time

YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?

FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing

YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.

FUTABA: oh really

FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then

YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.

YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.

FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid

FUTABA: well i have news for u

FUTABA: the answer

FUTABA: is yeah

FUTABA: sure why not

YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.

YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.

FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch

FUTABA: i’m going

FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person

YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.

FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.

YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?

FUTABA: uh

FUTABA: hmm

FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check

YUSUKE: Hmm.

YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.

YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.

FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends

FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry

YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.

Tuesday, 1:59 PM

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.

YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.

FUTABA: whomst

YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?

YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.

FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro

YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.

YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.

YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.

FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh

FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….

YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?

YUSUKE: Well.

YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.

YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?

FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me

FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow

FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us

FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice

FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain

FUTABA: but

FUTABA: i

FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like

FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know

YUSUKE: Yes.

FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end

FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him

FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley

FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened

FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him

FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..

FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh

FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess

FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch

FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business

FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do

FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like

FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him

FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like

FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and

FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like

FUTABA: also not???

FUTABA: that can’t be it

FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you

FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit

FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince

FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince

FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“

FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude

FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy

FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway

YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.

FUTABA: WHAT

YUSUKE: Yes, actually.

FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI

YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.

YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.

YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.

FUTABA: no

FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together

FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old

FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me

YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.

YUSUKE: I can take you.

YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.

FUTABA: how early is early

YUSUKE: Four in the morning.

FUTABA: PLEASE INARI

YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.

FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too

FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero

FUTABA: ok alright

FUTABA: crow-san it is

FUTABA: hhh

FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine

FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows

FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe

FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why

YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.

YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.

FUTABA: oh my GOD inari

FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall

YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?

FUTABA: WH

YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.

FUTABA: WHAT

FUTABA: NO WAIT

FUTABA: HELLO????

FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK

Tuesday, 2:53 PM

FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??

FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM

FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN

In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.

She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.

On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:

AKECHI: I’m here.

AKECHI: Are you ready to go?

Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.

FUTABA: i’m SO ready

FUTABA: the readiest

FUTABA: ultra mega super ready

FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready

AKECHI: Oh.

AKECHI: Alright.

Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.

With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?

She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.

I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…

She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.

"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”

Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.

Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.

“I’m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.

“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”

She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.

When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.

If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…

No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.

Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.

When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…

Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.

AKECHI: Are you alright?

FUTABA: i said i was ready dude

Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.

They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.

New text:

AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.

Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—

The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.

“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”

“Futaba—”

“I’m can’t do it, I—”

She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”

Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”

“Is she okay?” says a voice.

Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.

“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”

“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.

“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”

“Young man, are you serious right now?”

“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.

Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.

“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”

Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.

“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”

Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.

“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.

Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.

“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”

Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.

There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”

“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”

“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.

“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“

She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.

After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.

Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.

“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.

“He was just trying to help.”

“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”

Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”

“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.

Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”

“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”

“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”

“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”

Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.

Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”

“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”

Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.

“How’s that been?” says Futaba.

“Which part?”

Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”

“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.

“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”

Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.

Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”

“Have you been spying on me?”

“Uh, yes? Obviously?”

“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”

“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”

“Stop looking at my internet history.”

“No. You better not narc on me.”

“Then stop looking at my internet history.”

“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”

“I will narc on you.”

“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”

Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.

“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.

“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”

“Great.”

“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”

“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.

“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”

“If you’re quite done.”

“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”

Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”

Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”

“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”

“I’m keeping it.”

“It’s my coat.”

“I’m keeping it.”

“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”

“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.

“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”

Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”

“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”

Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.

“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.

“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.

“You can’t laugh at me.”

“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.

Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”

“Why would I tell Akira?“

"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”

Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”

“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”

“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”

Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”

#mine #slams hands on table FUTAGO SIBLINGS #futaba's dubious mental health cw #Anonymous

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divine-draws · 4 years

Text

okay i had a whole google doc that i wrote a buncha shit but imma try to CONDENSE it and make my ideas more clear bc there was some wishy washy in there. BUT dabihawks ice skating au bc im gay for that shit. all of it under the cut bc this shit is gunna get LONG. buckle in fuckers. ALSO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT this i will be happy to answer shit :3c

SO fair warning before we begin. i know shit about ice sports. im like 1) not THAT educated nor have i legit participated though ive always wanted to and 2) this is just self indulgent so like if i dont get shit right or whatever dont come at me bro. im here to have FUN and live a bit vicariously. also as for location of all this shit i dont know and dont care and am american so my perspective on things are skewed. anyway cw: abuse mention

so dabi (touya) is a previous figure skater

he’s a figure skating prodigy

enji was a pro hockey player (id say figure skating but this man was BUILT like a brick shithouse idk man) has a lot of championships under his belt but doesnt even begin to touch the legacy of his one sided rival yagi toshinori

him and rei meet and marry at a young age. she like.. actually liked him then?? shit was kinda okay but things kinda.... got bad quick. the abuse etc was ... yeah. she ends up having dabi and fuyumi (they’re twins babeyy) at a young age too and kinda doesnt feel like she can get out of her horrible marriage

we wont dwell too much on the bad part of all of this though. anyway rei was a figure skater

p well known and known for her fucking GRACE god she moved so well on the ice.

she was so beautiful and spoke through her movements and enji loved that... and so as a hockey player and with a (now previous) figure skater wife he was like aight my kids WILL take up an ice sport and be the FUCKING BEST

dabi isnt made for hockey. enji tries to get him into it but it’s... nah... fuyumi isnt the best with figure skating. she’s good!! and her and dabi do some pair skating when they’re younger but it’s.. hm. dabi is the one with the clear talent here. (fuyumi is a beast on the ice when it comes to hockey though. will dominate. but she kinda... didnt really continue with it)

enji isnt PLEASED that his son isnt gunna be a hockey player but he still values figure skating and will fucking make sure he’s the BEST at it. and so the brutal training starts. he gets some good coaches and also takes up the coaching mantle

the thing is.. rei was amazing as a skater but her body just... wasnt really made for all of that??? and dabi unfortunately kinda inherited that. his body hates the impacts and such. he’s amazing at figure skating. he has a grace similar to his mothers but there’s something more fierce to him.

and honestly !!! he gets far!!

also natsuo comes around. he’s a bit too clumsy for either sport and resents the fact that him and fuyumi are neglected by their father. he also loves touya and gets so pissed seeing his brother so hurt

and shouto is born and this kid was made to be on the ice. he’s skating from the moment he can fucking stand on his own.

obvs enji’s attention is split but it’s mainly on touya who is winning championships and GOING places but it’s still not good enough

anyway idk how far he goes?? but it’s the biggest competition yet and on ice mid routine he lands wrong

one thing leads to the next and he’s pretty much medically retired from a young age. he can skate. he can still kinda preform but he cant do what he used to at ALL and he cant keep up with the brutal pace enji sets. there’s a lot of trying to push him still and it’s just.. not happening

for all it’s worth dabi is kinda glad he isnt doing it anymore. but he fears for his babies brother. shouto is a natural and while yes being a professional athlete of any sort is brutal on your body, his body is a lot more capable

but like touya before, shouto is pushed to his absolute limits. bleeding and injuries and puking his guts out from being pushed too far

there’s a lotta resentment but he still pushes through w skating.

(side note but there DEF is some todomido/tododeku w hockey player izuku who ends up being coached by THE yagi toshinori and who helps shouto out w making shit his own)

anyway so in the end dabi ends up working at a rink tho lol

it’s p much owned by shigarai and run by the lov (who in this au end up making their own little ragtag unofficial local hockey team p much and play games against other teams like them)

despite his father’s whole career, dabi does enjoy playing hockey with these dipshits

but yeah he enjoys his time working at the rink, fucking around and sleeping in random places and sometimes running the zamboni

he’s also best frenemies with shigaraki. they get along and both deal with a shitty upbringing and despite some slight animosity they both would kill if someone fucked w the other

(also at some point dabi DEF teaches some little kid classes lol)

also dabi does sometimes skate his own routines from time to time. only when he’s alone really. though fuyumi has a pass to be there though he will gripe still

SO HAWKS AM I RIGHT??

now there is a couple ways to go with this and somewhere in me there is an au with hockey player hawks who takes skating lessons from figure skater dabi BUT

i think for this au we’ll just say he was a figure skater from the get go

i think he WANTED to do hockey as a kid. like shouto he’s also a fucking natural and was skating as soon as he could fucking stand and walk. and he looked up to enji and kinda wanted to take up hockey but

listen,,, trans hawks. who wanted to be like todoroki enji and be a pro hockey player. shit just.. didnt work like that though and besides he’s a tiny dude and god he’d be fucking obliterated

he kinda is self taught and the ice is his escape from his shitty home life

idk how this works but listen gotta tie in the commission somehow???

he’s scouted or whatever for figure skating at a very young age and his mom is happy to take the heavy scholarships and happy to sign him over to skate for these ppl and have them push him to be The Best

and this kid is FAST. he’s fast and is insane with his jumps and stg it almost looks like he’s FLYING (which gets him the nickname hawks)

the coaches are brutal and shit sucks and a lot of the time it kinda sucks the life out of the sport but he still enjoys it

he has a love for outfits that legit have flare to them (also im thinking of johnny weir’s one outfit w the feathers but yknow instead of white they are RED) and while he does do routines to boring ass music he mainly likes doing shit different (also dabi was p much forced the whole time to do shit to that boring ass music but on his own he’d use his own music taste to skate to)

and he’s good!! he GOES places. he’s like makes it to the olympics at a young age and is one of THE youngest gold medalists for figure skating

im sure somewhere along the line him and dabi DID meet. it was at some competition and hawks was VIBRATING bc there’s ENJI and he wants and autograph and oH GOD IS THAT HIS SON??? he’s HOT. (and at this time dabi still had his red hair and like no piercings and what little ones he had they were out but this dumbass will not recognize him later on)

but god he needs to chill TF out or he will fuck up in the competition

he hears about dabi’s whole accident and like feels for him but again it’s not like they were friends. there was more of a slight rivalry and they barely spoke if they did

but so idk like.. between seasons hawks finds himself going like nearly every day to this rink.. aka shigaraki’s rink (also sidenote but lbr it’s really run by shirakumo who kinda has to fucking herd the cats w this group)

as frenemies dabi and shigaraki share their distaste for some of these pro athletes (tho some get a pass) and kinda complain about hawks a bit tho like..... shigaraki cant complain TOO much bc of the money from hawks renting out the rink for a few hours almost every day

dabi is too gay for this shit when he actually sees hawks in action. rip him

tbh they dont really interact tho (besides dabi telling him to gtfo the rink or he’ll run him over with the zamboni) until one day that hawks catches dabi skating

he was done and should have been gone but he forgot something on the bleachers and then he sees dabi and.. oh boy he’s GAY AF

and also dabi is RLLY GOOD???

and so hawks makes a FOOL of himself and startles the poor guy and p much presses all the wrong buttons w asking why he doesnt compete or something

and i mean im sure they had some SLIGHT progress w talking before. nothing significant but god the walls go RIGHT THE FUCK UP and dabi is pissed

tbh dabi was gunna get to the point where he LEGIT talked to him and maybe lowkey asked him out (he says this but shigaraki calls his bluff) and now there is no way. he storms off and tries to avoid him so hard

and hawks tries to corner him a bit but after some time he does manage to corner him and be like pls just let me take you out to dinner to make up for that shit????

aaand dabi accepts bc listen okay he cant say no to free food ??? like he’s kinda pissy w this guy but also.. listen he has EYES

anywayyy p much this just leads to them dating

hawks DEF looks him up and watches all the vids of him and like the idiot he is realizes that he met him before ( “oh my GOD i know you” “uh… we’re dating i hope u know me?????” “nO I MEAN WE MET AT (insert comp)”)

but before that dabi did like tell him some shit. mainly about like how he used to skate blah blah and the whole thing that ended all of that

he doesnt really delve too deep into like his shitty childhood until well later

idk what leads to it but the convo finally comes up and it’s so draining for dabi and hawks is horrified and ready to fight his dad (“listen i just sharpened my skates i’ll just-”)

anyway some side things bc this is long and i will answer questions on this tho

rumi is a women’s pro hockey player and fuyumi who actually follows hockey and shit has the BIGGEST crush on her (they end up together)

also natsuo comes to see one of the leagues games (he hasnt really seen them play tbh?? he hears about it from dabi but he lives like at least a few hours away on campus and is going for med school so rip him) and like he meets shigaraki and anyway dabi is losing his FUCKING MIND bc his best frenemy/boss and his younger brother are FLIRTING. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM???

dabi and hawks are really gay together and have skated together by this point and made out on ice a few times and shigaraki was miserable and is like “NOW U KNOW!!” and dabi is pissed bc “yEAH BUT THAT”S MY LITTLE BROTHER??? IT”S NOt thE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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crollalanzaa · 4 years

Text

My Haikyuu Thoughts

(reposted from twitter)

I started the manga 23/6/14 largely because there was a void left by me falling out of HP which RL and PJO wasn’t filling. I saw Hinata art on viria’s tumblr and was, ‘oh, who he?’ I think I watched a bit of the anime but had not thought much of it ???

So there was this kid who was irritatingly enthusiastic and embarrassingly bad at volleyball and it was all the cringe making stuff I hate because I’m not into vicarious humiliation, but as I read on, and he hit that perfect shot and yelled ‘ALL RIIIIIGHT!’ I was almost hooked.

Then he appeared and you know who I mean. It wasn’t the appearance at the middle school match but turning up at the gym, realising his place was now under threat, but going out of his way to make sure the two idiots bonded on court.

I was intrigued and more than a little koo-koo over Suga, but still not absolutely hooked. The point where I knew this was not only my thing but a story which was going to reel me in was the Neighbourhood match. The drama of the Asahi/Suga/Nishinoya dynamic was one thing. Asahi calling for the toss still sends shivers up and down my spine and yet ... what hooked me was the adults leaving the match, their conversation as they went back to their normal lives They laughed with fondness and nostalgia about the drama of HS volleyball and as an adult reading that, it suddenly transcended the kids/teen lit I’d thought it would be (nothing wrong with that -I often prefer this genre because books written for my demographic I find samey and overly romance or abuse based) because we had normal people like me who’d left their HS dreams in the gym (or the drama studio for me) but were happy(ish) in their everyday lives and enthusiastic about volleyball as a hobby. When Shimada put himself out to help Yamaguchi. When Saeko put herself out to get the idiots to Tokyo, it felt like they were falling for these kids and this team like me.

Reel back a bit. Hq had been going for two years when I jumped in. I binge read everything in two days, finishing at 112 (I think). Back in the day, my friend, we were relying on fan translations. There was no official site, and the translators did it all for love, which was wonderful but there was a lot of debate about reading for free and waiting for the translation could be tortuous. I wanted to support Furudate but couldn’t buy the physical copies. It was suggested at one point that Eng speaking fans shouldn’t be a part of the fandom - not by anyone remotely official, you understand - but that was the state of things in 2014. I bought official merch instead and watched the anime while I waited for 113 to drop.

So forward to 117. If you ever want to know why I still catch my breath and laugh a little at the Daichi Dead moment it’s because we all had to wait for what seemed like twenty years to find out what the high heck was wrong with him. I genuinely thought he’d wrecked his shoulder and was distraught because there was no way they’d win everything with the Captain out!

(Of course I had no real idea about Ennoshita stepping up to the plate, but that’s another story) The discovery it was a tooth had me SCREECHING! So relieved. I yelled to one of my first hq friends (who’s now deactivated) and then casually went to France with friends -hahaha.

I’ve done complete 180s on so many characters now that it’s safe to say I never trust the initial narrative Kags, Tsukki, Yams (come on, he was Tsukki’s mate giggling in corners over Hinata’s ineptitude. It was only when he saw what Hinata could do he stopped being a sock puppet).

The biggest turn around was on Oikawa who I hated to the point where I threw things at my laptop when he appeared. It wasn’t so much him as everyone going ka-ka over him which pissed off my withered adult heart. What changed was forcing myself to write him for an IwaOi week. I reread/rewatched his story and through Hajime’s eyes I began to appreciate him. I wrote Philos as an Achilles/Patroclus reincarnation type fic and that led on and on. And this is what Furudate does so well. Gives you a ‘villain’ then adds the backstory so they’re a hero.

Disliked Tendou, too but his Farewell My Paradise, his acceptance of defeat and the way he was such a good sport about it, made me gasp. And I love love love his new career.

It’s the appreciation of amazing play by the opposition which made me fall hard for Inarizaki and Atsumu. (Look at him here! Punt him out the f*cking window!) I’d learnt not to automatically hate anyone, so I reserved judgment. Moment I decided I liked him? Setting for Kags.

Moment I decided I loved him - getting laughed at by Osamu.

Before this turns into an Atsumu appreciation thread, let me tell you about the characters I was indifferent to but then warmed towards. The main one was because one of my earliest hq friends (yes, you Megan) likes him and through her eyes I started to appreciate the hngg that is Konoha Akinori

When I first started reading hq, I did some searches on tumblr and came across quite explicit Kuroken fanart, so I was understandably nervous meeting those Nekoma boys. Although I’m still ultra fond of the kurokens I wrote, hindsight is a dreadful thing when you see how off your assumptions and hcs were. But in retrospect I don’t think anyone envisaged quite how dorky and shy Kuroo had been as a boy. The error I laugh over the most is somehow transplanting Yaku’s personality into Kai and vice versa, but that’s what happens when you write before canon is done. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Could I have held off writing for six years - nyope. Not a chance. Watching the story unfold, week after week, year after year has honestly been the happiest part of my life. Is that sad? Is it melodramatic?

Perhaps. But it has brought me so much apart from a fantastic story. Found friends. A shelter from when real life’s shit. And so many laughs. I still on occasion burst out laughing in the street when I think about Hinata forgetting to spike, or a daft hc shared on twitter. Still sigh a little over the ppl who said they’d leave when their team lost. Remember the time I was warned not to celebrate the Crows winning because it would upset the Seijou fans. I restricted myself to a brief yay then deleted. All nonsense, because most of the Seijou fans I was friendly with accepted the narrative with a bit of wistfulness and looked forward to the next chapter. And for those who wept that Oikawa ‘deserved to win’ they received their own message from Tooru that his ‘worthless pride’ meant something and he was still a winner!

Oikawa Tooru’s journey perfectly illustrated the idea that your life doesn’t end at High School, that your path is never fixed, and you’re not only made of your achievements but perhaps more so by the doubts and failures. We saw that more recently with the strongest player Ushijima Wakatoshi whose recent backstory with Iwaizumi has at last made me warm to him. (Iwa-chan has this effect!)

There are so many stories to relate to. So many moments. Yachi and Suga overthinking. Kiyoko finding something else she was passionate about. Asahi returning.

You all know I write and some of you know I’m an amateur actor - both of these rely on a certain amount of internal motivation but also external validation. What if the story flops? What if I dry on stage? ‘What if’ can become a never-ending mantra. So when Hirugami’s story appeared, where despite being amazing at volleyball it was making him miserable, until Hoshiumi suggested he could quit and that freed him - it sang to me. I’ve been through ups and downs with writing, and much as I love acting it can takeover especially the worry that you’ll fuck up. I know I won’t set the world alight and that used to ‘Concern’ me, but partly thanks to this story and also my hq tl, I’ve realised it’s unimportant.

If I fuck up on stage, I might throw off other people, but no one will die. If no one reads my fic, I won’t die. If I never write another fic ... no one will die except for the fictional characters and my headcanons. And even then they’re still alive in my head.

And look, I have so many ppl to thank who’ve made this journey with me and supported me all the way, but I’m too scared of missing people out and in a way everyone has helped. But none more than the creator. So Thank you Furudate and Haikyuu for everything.

Great Receive!

#haikyuu!!#thank you furudate-sensei #long post #manga spoilers for anime

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ryouverua · 6 years

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You know, i think its rather interesting that kaito refers to saihara as a “sidekick” but kokichi refers to him as a “partner”. Kaito sees himself as a hero, and saihara as his helper—and someone hes helped. He sees himself as someone who HAS to help. To feel useful. A hero complex, indeed; probably rooted in alot of insecurities. I mean, in his freetime, he brags about how all his sidekicks have been super successful. Its like hes living vicariously through them. But we also see him being jealous of saihara, about how much more ppl seem to depend on him. Meanwhile, kokichi doesnt have insecurities about that; he doesn’t feel the need to prove himself to his classmates bc well… they already hate him (or at the least dislike) so whats the point in that? He actually seems to even like antagonizing himself—possibly bc of how cynical he sees the world. Everyones a liar—not just him—everyone is capable of lying and being horrible. In a way, that almost gives him an advantage over kaito, how negatively he views ppl, bc in that vein, he just views himself as another person. He views himself on equal footing to them. Anyone and everyone can be horrible or great, depending; anyone can be pushed to do things and hes *aware* of that. In the way, his naturally suspicious mature, while separating and isolating him from ppl, due to not trusting them, also allows him to view himself on equal footing, whereas kaito is just lying to himself, in a way, desperately trying to get validation. In a way, they both have what eachother lacks; kaito is charismatic and believes in ppl, but he has trouble seeing himself on equal footing with them because of the standard her sets for himself, with that charisma. Kokichi is distrustful and pushes ppl away, bc anyone can do horrible things, and yet that very view on ppl allows him to see himself as just another person—on equal footing. Idk, its interesting to me; i might just be reading into it too much though

Also sorry for submitting, this just got WAY to long dofhksbdof.. just some food for thought i guess. Even if this isnt the reason why, it is still rlly interesting in the difference they address him.

it’s the YGO nerd in him. He’s totally calling Shuichi ‘partner’ as a huge reference. please I kept forgetting to listen carefully for it someone needs to tell me if Kokichi was using the word ‘aibou’ or not

Also man I don’t know if it’s right for me to speak on this stuff yet but aaah what the hell here we go anyway lmao

Honestly, I wonder if part of that has to do with his physical stature. When you think about it, the kind of things he would have to do to rise to the top and/or get any respect (fear can be considered respect, in a sense) would have to be all mental and underhanded - he’s a bit limited in his options, and sometimes people just grow the way they are by nature rather than nurture. On the other side we’ve got Kaito, naturally athletic and goatee aside good-looking, and radiating confidence and charisma. It’s not just that he believes in people - he can afford to believe in people!

But you’re right when you talk about Kaito up there - he wants people to lean on him for support, and watch them succeed *with* his help, and I do think he does get a thrill from that. He has his own accomplishments, sure, but he’s also mentally rewarding himself for others’ accomplishments after propping them up - and while he can take some credit for that, he may be overreaching. Hero complex though - aha, it’s funny, because that same FTE had him call himself the ‘Ultimate Hero’ in there too!

With that said, I don’t know if it’s fair to say Kokichi isn’t trying to get some validation! It really does seem like he wants to be recognized, good or bad, for what he’s doing - very much like a child who wants your attention, honestly. I’d like to think that they’re both a sort of ‘two sides of the same coin’ set - I was trying to think earlier if I’d consider there to be a direct opposition between Shuichi (expose the truth) vs Kokichi (hide the truth) in the end, but I think this trial is really pushing the narrative more towards Kaito (believe in everyone) vs Kokichi (distrust everyone) direct opposition, with Shuichi hanging in the balance in the centre. Honestly, Shuichi lies far too much in search of the truth and does us the great service in the beginning of the game of both trusting in Kaede completely while also introducing distrust to her via his initial mastermind deduction.

Right, but back to what you were saying, I also wonder if Kokichi is referring to him as ‘aibou’ in a genuine way or if it’s to get under Kaito’s skin/tease Shuichi - he definitely understands that everyone around him has the potential to kill people if the right buttons are pushed, but I’m not 100% sure if he isn’t looking down on everyone around him for dancing along to the same beats of ~let’s all trust each other and try to get along!~ every chapter as their numbers dwindle or not.

But yeah, in terms of complimenting each others’ pros and cons? Yeah, they definitely do!

#ghostofbuttercups #sorry this was a rambly mess and I'll probably revise it later #I did catch up on sleep though so hopefully it was semicoherent #I... feel like I'll want to talk more about Kaito vs Kokichi later tbh #and shuichi and Kaede too #I feel like there might be a spectrum... perhaps..... going like this #Kaito - Kaede - Shuichi - Kokichi #... maybe........... again let me think on it more 8'D #submission #Ryou plays drv3 #drv3 ask

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byebrybirdy-blog · 3 years

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I would like to expand on my first post. On one hand you have God a deity known for hating human beings and the evil they’re capable of to the point he flooded the entire earth except for one family just to prove how much he hated everyone. On top of that created humans as more of a lab experiment seemingly than anything. Created them and then left them completely Alone these naked children that knew nothing of anything and then had the gall to be surprised when the only known evil force seemingly in the entire universe took advantage of them and tempted them into doing the only thing they could possibly do wrong. Then on top of that of that had the gall to punish them as if they were caught sacrificing children and punish allll of mankind to be even more unprotected and alone in a world fullll of nightmares.. seemingly. (I believe demons were apart of earth long before Gods creation aka us.) completely at the whim and fancy of this dark force and existence and all of his evil brethren and expected them to go off and make him proud somehow. That’s like me having a child telling him not to eat the apples on the table and I mean a newborn basically these ppl knew nothing offf anything. Yeah they were full grown adults buuuut they were infantile in mind and emotion. And when they eat the apple my newborn that can walk and talk or make it a toddler if it makes more sense to you. Telling my toddler to gtfo and never come back and survive in the world alone. Honestly a toddler in America or any other first world country would prolly have better odds than they did. But remember this punishment goes on forrrever not just the toddler but any successes and successors the toddler has will be punished as well everyone that spans from this toddler will be punished tried and judged just for disobeying me one time. How loving and considerate of me to do such a thing. Now in His defense he later realized he was being a little harsh and decided to step back and make amends. He made a pact with man and the sacrificed his only begotten son for all of mankind’s shortcomings. Nice right? Except why didn’t he just make everyone like that instead of what he made originally it just looks like a not very well thought out plan. If we all treated our children like God did there’d be nothing but abandoned toddlers running around in the street. And the only kids that would be kept are kids that are exactly like you. Like that sounds like the dad that vicariously lives through his favorite child only because his favorite child is exactly like he is. That’s not love. That’s just loving yourself. If the only thing you truly love is someone that’s exactly like you then you don’t love anyone but yourself. I know I’m rambling expect that. A lot. And bad grammar these are just my ramblings for the most part. Anyway back to Jesus who is Gods favorite and only begotten child why didn’t he just make all people like Jesus instead of whatever the fuck we are now. What I’m trying to say is why create new people that know nothin g of anything and then get mad at them for being wrong about everything. And then create this perfect being to be their sacrifice so they can be forgiven for all the things they do not know and do wrong. Why not just create perfect beings instead....what was the point. And before you try to belittle this in your head think long and hard about everything that’s ever happened to you good or bad and everything that’s ever happened to anyone you’ve ever known good or bad or catastrophically horrible. Genocide rape murder disgusting acts with children this all spans from this one choice that God made. And chose to correct by sacrificing a perfect being to offer forgiveness for alllll of these shitty things that are apart of our lives. Not erase them not get rid of them. Just a sweep under the rug kind of gesture. Like yes sacrificing your only begotten son is a big and grand gesture buuut. Would you rather have him do that orrrr I dunno get rid of rape or child pornography or something like that. Rather than to give a forgiveness factor...

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voldiebuns · 6 years

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Oscars 2018

The Oscars are tonight, who's excited?? I don't tend to watch them except vicariously through tumblr, but I'm actually planning to watch live tonight. Part of it is that I feel like there's a lot of really good films nominated this year, part of it is that I've been getting more interested in the film industry as a whole. Plus my favorite podcast had a great episode about the nominations, plus several about individual nominees (Call Me by Your Name, Phantom Thread, The Post, The Shape of Water, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and various others). I sort of challenged myself to watch as many of the nominations as possible before the Oscars, though as there are iirc 69 things nominated, I knew I wouldn't get through them all. I do think I watched more than most years though, with a total of 7. Which doesn't seem like a lot, but I'm pretty sure I saw like 3 last year lol Most of them I even saw in theaters since I've been watching a lot more in theaters lately. (I will squee about MoviePass in another post sometime lol) I'll likely be liveblogging on my “Oscars 2018″ tag, so feel free to watch me be completely wrong in real time! Which is in not much time at all, wow this post took a long time to do...

Under the cut is my list of watched nominees plus short reviews, and my predictions.

Nominee Reviews

Beauty and the Beast I really only went to see this movie bc my friend had an extra ticket and I was her third string option lol I don't particularly care for Disney films in general and hadn't seen anything to interest me from the previews. I was unexcited about seeing it, and I remained underwhelmed lol I had a myriad of problems with it, from bad costume design (Belle's dress was just so so bad) to uncanny valley CGI (Cogsworth and Lumiere esp) to general boringness (not that that's entirely the fault of the adaption, since it's well, an adaption, but they didn't do anything to help). The only redeeming feature was Gaston and LeFou, both of whom I did really enjoy overall, and I even have complaints about that! Mostly that there was all the hullabaloo about "gay content, le gasp" and there was... none. One split second same sex dance does not gay content make imo. That is paltry rep and I'm not satisfied with that anymore tbh. The Breadwinner I just watched this last week when I happened upon it on Netflix, and I'm so glad I did. It was a beautiful movie, and so so heartwarming/heartbreaking. I was legit crying by the end. The story was wonderful, as was the animation. I tend to do other things on the computer when I watch movies, but I really got sucked into watching. I'm disappointed it didn't get more attention, but I really do highly recommend it. Get Out Just saw this one recently as well after hearing so many good things about it. All of which were certainly deserved. My horror movie experience is not terribly deep, but this was one of the best I've seen. It was so clever and so well acted, it's kind of amazing that Jordan Peele put out such a fantastic movie for his directorial debut. I actually watched Scream, which Get Out has been compared to a lot, on the same day, and tbh this was a much better and more intellectual film. Highly recommended. The Greatest Showman This is actually the only one I've seen twice (so far). I expected to like it since Hugh Jackman and musicals are two of my favorite things, but I liked it so much more than I even expected. Even on my second watch, I was on the edge of my seat for the suspenseful bits and crying for the angsty ones. The acting and singing was fantastic, as was the storyline. I know it deviates a lot from what actually happened, but honestly this movie was so heartwarming and beautiful that I don't even care. My only complaint is that there's been so little attention on the secondary characters, bc I found them so so fascinating! Logan Saw this one the other day after meaning to watch it since it came out. I was... disappointed tbh. I found the plot kind of stiff and confusing, and the acting for the most part was not particularly memorable. I'd heard a lot of good things about this, but I really didn't care for it. Definitely not one of the better XMCU films imo. The Shape of Water If you follow me on tumblr, you may have seen that I was like desperate to see this since I'm a huge del Toro fangirl, and I was really pissed that it took so long to come out where I am. But I finally got to see it and it was just as wonderful as I'd expected!! My only disappointment is that we didn't get to actually see any fish dick lol But seriously, this was a supremely beautiful movie with fantastic acting and fantastic characters. I think that's one of the things I liked best about it, that each of the characters was so distinct and so compelling. Like I had a really visceral reaction to the fingers scene (you should know what I mean if you've seen it...). I was so impressed by that, that the writing and the acting gave such life and depth to the characters and their stories. I was really just enthralled the whole way through <3 Star Wars: The Last Jedi And if you follow me on tumblr, you also know that I hated this movie lol Which was actually really disappointing, bc The Force Awakens was really good and I think that movie set up a really good start for this trilogy. Unfortunately, I don't think TLJ followed through with any of the interesting plotlines that had been set up. Mostly, this felt like an entirely pointless movie to me. It didn't move the plot forward at all really, and I felt it even went backwards (or sideways) on a lot of things. The characters were dull and many of their storylines (esp Finn, which was esp disappointing) didn't really go anywhere or ended up being totally superflous imo. I felt like Rian Johnson was more interesting in making a movie that would get him attention than in making a good Star Wars movie. It feels like just another mediocre white male director being handed the helm of a big franchise and fucking it up bc they have no respect for the franchise or its fans. Honestly, this movie was just so bad that I've lost almost all interest in Star Wars :/

Predictions

Best Picture: The Shape of Water It's gotten so much critical aclaim and already won so many awards, I feel pretty confident in this one. I would not be salty about Get Out winning instead, but although it got pretty great critical acalaim as well, I still think the Academy is still too racist, plus the fact that it's a horror movie, which is not a genre that is generally seen as legitimate in awards circles. Lead Actor: Gary Oldman, “Darkest Hour” I had no interest in Darkest Hour since I hate war films, but everyone seems to love Gary Oldman in it. I don't necessarily think it's a deserved win compared to some of the other nominations, but I do think it's the likeliest. Lead Actress: Meryl Streep, “The Post” It's fucking Merly Streep, is there more that needs to be said? Supporting Actor: Woody Harrelson, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” I don't even know what this movie is about, but ppl seem to be loving it so... Supporting Actress: Lesley Manville, “Phantom Thread” By all accounts a fantastic movie and a fantastic actress, though I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Director: “The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro No contest, really, since he's won all (or at least most?) of the other best director awards for the year. And I mean, he's my favorite director, so I'm certainly not mad lol Animated Feature: “Coco,” Lee Unkrich, Darla K. Anderson I abolutely think The Breadwinner or Loving Vincent deserves it more, but I think this is one of the categories where most of the voters will not have watched the movies and it's a Disney movie, so of course it will win. Animated Short: “Revolting Rhymes,” Jakob Schuh, Jan Lachauer Since it's the only one I've even seen anything about lol Adapted Screenplay: “Call Me by Your Name,” James Ivory The only other one I think that has a chance in this category is The Disaster Artist, honestly. And I think that Call Me by Your Name is such an arty film gives it the boost. Original Screenplay: "The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro, Vanessa Taylor Lady Bird and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri have good chances here, too, but again, The Shape of Water has gotten so much acclaim. Cinematography: “Blade Runner 2049,” Roger Deakins Bc apparently Blade Runner is the epitomy of cyberpunk. Which is bullshit and The Shape of Water deserves it more but whatever. Best Documentary Feature: “Icarus,” Bryan Fogel, Dan Cogan Really I think it could go to any of them fairly equally, so it's more of a tossup imo. Best Documentary Short Subject: “Heroin(e),” Elaine McMillion Sheldon, Kerrin Sheldon Again, only one I've heard anything about in the category. Best Live Action Short Film: ? I literally have heard nothing so who knows! Best Foreign Language Film: “Loveless” (Russia) Yet again, only one I've heard anything about. Film Editing: “The Shape of Water,” Sidney Wolinsky I think this one's a bit of a free for all, so I just think The Shape of Water should get it lol Sound Editing: “Baby Driver,” Julian Slater Since this is basically the entire draw of Baby Drive afaik. Sound Mixing: “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” Stuart Wilson, Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick I don't think it's deserved tbh, but I think it's most likely. Production Design: “Beauty and the Beast,” Sarah Greenwood; Katie Spencer Again, definitely not deserved, but everyone went googoo over it's overall shitty production design so. Original Score: “Phantom Thread,” Jonny Greenwood I certainly wouldn't be mad if The Shape of Water won instead, but from what I've seen and heard, I think Phantom Thread has a really good chance. Original Song: “This Is Me” from “The Greatest Showman,” Benj Pasek, Justin Paul Really not sure whose going to actually win, but I really really think The Greatest Showman deserves it most. This Is Me is a spectacular song. Really, the whole soundtrack was amazing. Makeup and Hair: “Victoria and Abdul,” Daniel Phillips and Lou Sheppard Really the only choice out of the nominees. Costume Design: “Phantom Thread,” Mark Bridges I mean, it's basically what the movie is about, so it should win. Beaty and the Beast is the most likely other choice since it got a lot of attention when it came out, though I found the costume design there appaling. Visual Effects: “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” Ben Morris, Mike Mulholland, Chris Corbould, Neal ScanlanIt's a tossup between Star Wars and Blade Runner 2049, but I think the greater nostalgia will win out. Who actually deserves it? Fuck if I know.

#Oscars 2018 #posted this on lj earlier so thought I might as well post it here too lol

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