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lady-snow-flower · 5 months

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RP QUESTIONNAIRE

Your Name: Laur

Characters: Berlioz, Hades, Merida, Nemo, Jun, Pip, Amity, Snow, Penny, Karen, Eboshi

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now?

We’re gonna talk about Jun Moon.

It turns out that I have a favorite kinda character, apparently– a character who simply loves to Not Grow (™) actually, to resist growth, to sometimes grow backwards and get worse. I have written this section before with both Mel and Ashleigh, where I talked a lot about that kind of anti-growth and why I love it. Guess what– we’re doing it again!

Well, only kind of! Because Jun DID grow…is growing… in fits and starts and a way that really excites me! And we all have Juno to thank for it!

But yes: Jun is a character who does not actually believe that people change. I discovered this, and many other things about Jun in our epic letter-writing experiment throughout the year. Only through this medium was Jun able to access emotions and memories he has ignored or suppressed. And at the root of a lot of Jun’s issues is I think this hopelessness that he is who he is and can never be anything but what he is. And I think that makes a lot of sense for him bc his life was in many ways decided the second he was born. As the oldest son in a Korean household, that just– immediately defines things about your life that you really don’t have any say about. And it’s not like Jun COULD change those things if he tried. He will always be mathyung.

But… even just acknowledging things he wishes opens up the door for other smaller, minute changes. It’s been such a subtle journey. And he is still very stuck, very passive, very resistant, but the crack is there– and got a little wider now with the rebuilding of the Moon Market which is a Metaphor I Am Sure You All Realize. So I am hoping that this crack in Jun’s proverbial dam will open up in the months to come.

Pick another character (or the same character if you only have one) and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year?

So hard to pick if only because spoilers lol. I think… Pip in a lot of ways has had a quieter year (for him) and I definitely want to refocus on some of his plots going into next year. I have some ideas that I’ve not really gotten around to when it comes to Amy and Maggie and so next year might be a good idea to tackle that!

Also, spoiler I guess but idk i have talked about it to a few people so i dont care lol, I do want him to direct his own play. That feels so majorly important because it’s seizing control of the narrative and getting to decide his own fate! I think there’s so much fun to be had for Director Pip and one can hope I have enough creative energy to really see it through, because I do want to have him adapt something probably, and make it like, queer and edgy and probably over the top and hilarious in the way that only Pip Seville can do. I will work on when the best time is for this, we’ll see. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, one can HOPE that he makes some like emotional headway lolol but i probably shouldn’t promise anything. We’ll make several attempts to grow Pip emotionally. I do kinda wanna… shake up the status quo… wink.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it.

I will shout out my entire Murder Plot lol. This was definitely a bucket list item for me and Snow. I wrote on last year’s questionnaire or goals or something that I wanted to do more necromancy with her this year, perhaps even something darker, and I believe brutally murdering John Cunningham her old necromancy teacher counts!

I loved this plot because it combined both fantasy and contemporary elements, which I love to do. I also love to bring people together, and so I liked finding roles for Wolf, Gem, and Ting-Ting. And on a very very self-indulgent level, I wanted to write horror! I enjoyed playing with those details and creating that atmosphere, and I just really wanted to murder someone using their own bones and so i did lmfao.

And I am also proud of the fact that I wrote a bunch of one-shots and stuff this year. I think I’m unfortunately a very long-winded writer who also thinks conceptually about things, which can be a good thing but also leads me to not writing certain one-shots or tasks because in my mind if I can’t do like a 10k fully realized narrative, what is the point?? But this year, I wrote and published a few things anyway. So I’m going to Kudos myself bc I really am proud of these things.

Penny’s Lessons Series: personally i like the format of this. I like the idea of taking a word and exploring it from multiple angles!! I was inspired a lot by the one chapter in Mara Wilson’s memoir, where she tracks her views of religion and god throughout her life. Part One: Name Part Two: Father Part Three: Bad

Karen’s The Door Is Open: I am increasingly finding value in writing in the first person and Karen unlocked for me while I wrote their postcards to family, and later, to their MAFIA friends. It is what gave me so many hcs about them– how they have swynlake au dreams; that they design postcards; their general artistic interests lol. OFC this piece also incorporates more traditional prose– i am a girly who loves her mixed media. But yeah, I worked hard on it and i think it’s a pretty good character study of a young Karen!!

Next, I’m going to shout out some things very generally because honest to GOD, when I am writing my paras, so many times they are my favorite paras of the moment lol.

Ashleigh’s Last Arc (Dreams Come True, Annaleigh’s Goodbye, Kidnapping Evangeline)

The Loud Bell + Acheron Song Fest (always a good challenge and very emotional too!!) Tiny Dancer Goodbye ugh

Snowbell demon summoning duh

Everything Juno, duh

Penny’s entire Hollywood arc bc she is my special girl– shoutout to Tenny break-up also

The dumb ass Phinnip Frenchy Fight of the Summer

The Entire Darling Arc as well– especially my John ‘task’ where he had to assemble a living family tree! Matcha goodbye! Ugh!

There’s definitely more i rly do love all my threads but i wrote like 800 this year probably.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 things you love to write about (metaphors? Sibling relationships? Physical description?) and talk about why you enjoy it!

Sorry that these are gonna be pretentious it is my fairy talent i fear…

Posthumanism or transhumanism or perhaps just sheer Wildness. Sorry i did warn u all. But I think the reason that I love rping fairies and then gravitated very strongly to Penny is that I like to imagine brand new modes of living and thinking beyond that of the human. Like, what does the world look like when you’re 3 inches tall, and money is a foreign concept to you? Or like, how would your BRAIN develop if you were literally taught concepts through the eyes of a poodle? I will acknowledge that from the start, this is a losing battle. I am a human, raised with all my human assumptions and biases, and so everything I ever create will inevitably be colored by that. But I LIKE to try. I like the experiment, and the challenge. It is so fun to me to try to catch myself out and unpack my own perspective and really really try to see the world another way (hence the Penny series), and although I will fail, oftentimes I discover new things about humanity, or at least my own humanity, in the process. if u read this paragraph congrats its foreshadowing, and now a quote from jack halberstam on the subject: "Definitions of wildness will jostle with another for classificatory dominance, and just as quickly as formulations of the wild emerge, they may just as easily recede into babble. We will journey from bewilderment to chaos, from weeds to wandering, from the will to wilderness; we will be in the wild but not imagine ourselves to be of it; we will be guided by unhinged children, poets, animals, and wild thinkers. We will think ourselves wild too and then question the 'we,' the 'wild,' and everything in between."

Humor: anyway enough critical theory how about some LAUGHS! Yes, I just love supremely silly things. The sillier and goofier the better. For me, the most fun drama is not so much rooted in angst but like, embarrassment and misunderstanding and silliness, so yeah I think I definitely enjoy doing that kind of thing and probably why a lot of my characters (see: Karen and Pip) also use humor to process all negative things in their lives lol.

Image Systems: every year this is on my questionnaire without fail sorry about it. But yeah it’s my bread and freakin butter yall. I pick up characters, sometimes exclusively, to write in a new image system. That’s right, I just think to myself “Well, gosh, how fun would it be to have all these new metaphors attached to WIND and FLIGHT and AIR and BREATH and WEATHER” (to use Nemo as an example) and then I get that character, thank u! In a way it goes back to point one, though in a way more broad sense of like, I like to think in new ways and image systems are a wonderful doorway into a person’s mind who has experiences that I don’t have.

What major updates have your characters gone through this year? (For example:

beginning/ending a relationship, moving, starting a new job, adopting a pet, etc). Think if it as anything you would have put in the #character-updates channel. If you have a pinned post, consider adding these updates so everyone is aware of them in the future.

Berlioz: Berlioz became a teacher! Then he said fuck being a teacher and quit being a teacher! He’s grown closer with Jenny, gotten more confident and sure in what he wants, and has started looking outside of Swynlake for the next step in his life and marriage. <3 he has self-actualized good for him

Hades: got married a THIRD TIME!! Helped return his children to the future! Got kicked out of being mayor and started working at Queen’s Boutique!

Merida: discovered their brother is a MEDIUM! Many fights with Elinor. Helped nurse Elinor back to health after gunshot. Embraced being nonbinary and changed their pronouns!

Nemo: continued to readjust to life as a uni student! Put on a summer showcase with Ashlee and said goodbye to her. <3 He’s been working hard on choreo and balancing fairy duties/uni duties, got Luca to join the volleyball team, and ofc dealt with drama about his mother’s investigation reopening. Plus, Marlin is dating now, yikes!

Jun: got a secret penpal, opened up to secret penpal, discovered penpal was Lo, fell for Lo, watched his father’s store get totally destroyed brutally, launched a redesign/expansion of market, continued to do nothing about crush on Lo

Pip: got into a relationship with Jeremy and helped Jeremy come out!!!!! Lived a terribly disappointing summer as Frenchy, then lived an equally disappointing fall as part of the Distinguished Gentlemen. Filled his existential void with new projects with Build a Brand, rebranded SSIC into SPF. Continued to have weird relationships with most men in his life

Amity: prepared for uni in the fall, got Lilith to sponsor her for the magick grand prix, broke up with Riley, got super depressed, reconnected with Willow but has yet to apologize, series of hook-ups (most infamously with Jenny Marsh Foxworth) annnnd helped defeat an evil sentient plant hybrid.

Snow: broke up with Bruce, started dating Tom, part of Isa’s drama-filled bach weekend, accidentally unleashed demons into Swynlake because she was threatened by Eboshi’s arrival, then she had to deal with someone blackmailing the inn and it turns out that was her old necromancy teacher who she then accidentally killed to avoid being killed herself!!! Necromancy revealed to: Gem, Snow, Ting-Ting. Against all odds, still dating Tom. oh my gosh she’s a shitshow

Penny: brought HOLLYWOOD TO SWYNLAKE!!! Starred in Olive Bright, Pigeoneer! Bit her producer! Quit the movie! Quit acting! Enrolled in school! Catfished Tanya! Accidentally made Pip jealous by getting along with Jeremy! Went to NYC for Thanksgiving! Also a shitshow!

Eboshi: brought IRONTOWN TO SWYNLAKE!!! Kicked out Hades, closed the forest, shut down Chapter Three. Is now secretly training with her long lost ancestor Ashitaka and wrestling with her internalized anti-magick attitude.

Karen: they JUST got here. Done practically nothing besides squabble with their mother and flirt with various good-lookin’ bitches up and down Swynlake. Watch out suckers, 2024’s gonna be their year!

Talk about your dash reply style and your Discord reply style! (And if applicable, also your doc reply style). What do you like about each type of interaction? What is something you feel is difficult? Do you have preferences regarding how many times you’re tagged per day, or do you prefer for your replies to be queued for a certain amount of time?

Generally speaking, I do not hold threads nor do I want threads held for me. This is blanket permission: REPLY AS MUCH AS U WANT!!! The only time this doesn’t apply is when I travel, then I usually ask people to reply once a day or something, just because I might miss things on the dash and then it’ll slip through the cracks. Otherwise, my rp style is just to reply every single day to as many threads as I’d like! It’s really just that simple. I try to make sure each one of my partners gets at least one reply and we go from there.

On the individual methods of rping.

Dash: love it. Call me old school but its my preference. I like having the record of things on there. I’m game to go back and forth as long as I’ve completed my daily amount of threads for the day. Can dash all day babyyyy

Discord: like it. Def love jumping on ol discord to do an event here and there! But once the notif disappears, I am infamously bad at forgetting it exists. Im so sorry. U do have to tap me in these instances.

Doc: hate it. Jk jk but– weirdly enough i am getting worse at remember these??? I dunno what’s up with me, it just throws me off my groove. So I prefer to only do docs when absolutely necessary, like for surprises and stuff like that–stuff that i KNOW is high priority, or else it slips from my head.

And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

Villain hijinks for Karen!

More dating and uni drama for Penny and Amity specifically!

MORE FAIRY STUFF!!! The fact we have Clarion is amazing. I’m looking forward to doing more fairy plots in and outside of the hollow. I won’t even front with yall, I am looking at several fairy muses. Idk if they will come through in the end, but I do hope I get another fairy character because I enjoy them so much :)

I am once again asking for a tournament arc like in an anime. I really just have to make this happen myself dont i

Sports Anime™ as well. I have athletic characters but I have never really pursued that kind of thing as a serious plot so maybe we can finally make it happen with magick grand prix or i’ll find another avenue lolol.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

I say it every year and it remains true: writing for writing sake! I just love that I can be inspired here, be silly here, try things out here, and it’s all because I love it and love my characters and love the people. Writing is so fun when you do it with friends! It continues to be true for me.

Also: deeply important to my mental health! I start every day with RP and I think being able to check even these little paras off my mental to do list really sets me up for success lol. I’m glad my brain works this way honestly. Not to be too capricorn up in here but I’m glad i take rp too seriously, I’m glad I treat it like part of my job, I’m glad that it feels productive and that makes me feel good about myself like bla bla bla capitalism or whatever but sometimes work is good esp work that you assign yourself or whatever lol.

#swyntask #too long as always

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hiauntyimissyou · 1 year

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im on my period and i feel so emotional

im fighting with my "bf" and i told him i dont want to see him anymore, i want to mean it

i started thinking about you and getting sad, but i dont want to get sad when i think of you so i'll think of the times we had together.

when we sat in ba ngoai's house and mom and dad went out and you babysat us, i didnt know it then but now i know there were times you babysat us, and it was an honor being watched over by you. i would ask when mom was coming back when she was gone too long, but now i cherish our memories more than ever and wish we had more time together. the fact that i love you so much and i only have memories of 2 times i went to vietnam although it was more. it's true they say you remember the people who take care of you. like being a dog's favorite person because you feed it. how you would feed me and ask me what i wanted to eat and go and get it for us. thinking back now i realize when i knew you you were a little older than I am now, you had to be about 40 when i last saw you 20 years ago. i didn't realize how much time was running out, i was immature in thinking we would all live forever and have so much time together that i could just take my time and come around when i finally were done with all my plans and goals here.

mom told me about your final moments or as much as she knows, i keep playing them over in my head. how i imagine it played out and piece together the setting from videos of your house from you funeral videos and try to visual it. i dont know why the elements had to be against us that day/night. if we were awake we would not have let it happen the way it did, let you slip away the way you did. but we were sound asleep, it was out of our hands. we let the people around you make decisions that were careless and let it get to this point. but no one knew what was waiting. if i knew then what i know now, how many things i would do differently, have someone to care for you, put you up somewhere safe and where you can still have your dogs. make sure you went to the doctors regularly. when u had hospital visits before, i just shook them off, when mom or dad was hospitalize before, i didn't make it any big thing, being here so used to seeing people come in and out of hospitals, thinking nothing tragic could just suddenly happen. if i was more informed of how life was in vietnam, i maybe could have done more. but i had my head so far up my ass worrying about first world problems over here like why my boyfriend was acting strange and why i get so irritated with people here. when none of those problems could even compare to losing you and realizing how detached i have been from people who actually care about me, who actually want to see me, spend time with me, love me even though you havent seen me in 20+ years.

i watched an unexpected journey, the hobbit. thorin coming back to his kingdom he hasn't seen in 20 years, all the memories, all the nostalgia.

i watched movies and shows and when death is brought up, it actually means something to me now, good to know but at what cost?

i make plans to come back in 2 years, i will see you again, i will light you an incense, i won't want to leave your side.

i don't want to know death and grief anymore, bc i know them bc you died. life is so painful when you think of how you can't go back in time, how you can't do things differently. i accept all my regrets, all the pain and the stupid mistakes and decisions that make me the broken person i am today, i accept them all and don't with to change them, all the people that have hurt me, all the people i have hurt, i take it all proudly, if only it meant to be given a chance to change your fate, to change the outcome of that unfortunate night, to save you, to still have you here. even wishing to speak and see you one last time is not enough, i don't want just want just one last time, i want things to go back to how they were. i don't want to know death, i dont want to know your death. i hate september now, i hate the 28th now.

please don't worry, or be sad. i just want you to be happy and i want you to pass on, i dont want you to hold you back, ever, you have what you want bc you deserve it. I'm better now i promise, i see things with new eyes and reserving my heart for what is worthy. i love you so much.

when i go back, i'll visit the place we were when we were physically together. you rest easy. i think about you and dont ever want to stop

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forzalando · 3 years

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The Perfect Arrangement | George Weasley | Pt. 2

Pairing: George Weasley x F!Reader AU: Bridgerton!AU Word Count: 2.2k Warnings: Bridgerton spoilers, a gross man stepping into your personal space, definitely not historically accurate bc i never mention chaperones

Summary: As a woman in the early 19th century, you’ve been told all your life that marriage should be your ultimate goal, however, you do not share that sentiment. When the insufferable George Weasley devises a plan that may solve both your problems, how can you say no?

A/N: woohoo, part 2 is here!! not a whole lot of drama/interaction between George and the reader but some necessary developments. plus! Eloise! my favorite lady! as always, thank you so much for reading💛

“George, everyone is staring at us,” you whispered as you took his arm.

“Well, we are the most attractive couple promenading this morning, don’t you think?”

You stifled a laugh; partly because you didn’t want to draw more attention to yourself and partly because George’s ego was large enough without knowing you thought he was funny.

“Should I glare at the men staring at you? Let them know that they don’t have even an ounce of a chance?” George asked.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt,” you mused. “However, I don’t know how your sister would feel if every eligible man in the ton held disdain for her older brother.”

“Oh, please,” George scoffed. “You know as well as I do that Ginny is marrying Harry, it’s just a matter of time.”

You hummed in agreement, though slightly distracted by the way George held you so close. It was unnerving how comfortable you felt with him; most men had always made you uncomfortable, but never George. Even though he was incorrigible, garish, and irritatingly handsome, he never made you feel anything but at ease.

“Lord Beverly is approaching us,” George whispered, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Quick, say something funny and make me laugh, maybe he will turn around.”

“I’m not your jester, nor can I make you laugh on command. Comedy is derived from opportunity, and here, I have none, just your orders.”

“Now we’re quarreling, he’s walking even faster.”

“That’s your fault for acting like my sense of humor is at your beck and call!”

You turned sharply to face him; a scowl settled on your face and nostrils flaring. He was looking at you the same, with his eyes narrowed and a slight blush on his cheeks, whether it was from the summer heat or anger you couldn’t be sure. George opened his mouth to speak again, when someone interrupted him.

“Is this why you wouldn’t give me the honor of a dance at the Danbury ball, Miss Y/L/N?”

Lord Beverly was stood directly in your path, his hands clasped behind his back and a smarmy smile on his face. He may have been handsome, but Philip Beverly was as horrid as men came.

“I do apologize, Lord Beverly,” you retorted, sickly sweet. “Mr. Weasley has been the object of my affections for quite some time now and I simply could not bring myself to imagine myself with anyone but him all night.”

You looked up at George and smiled, staring into the warmth of his eyes and heaving a dramatic sigh; one you hoped was the sigh of a woman in love.

“Yes, I suppose I understand your trepidation,” Lord Beverly scowled. “However, I have been speaking with your father this morning and I believe Mr. Weasley has not yet proposed, is that correct? Lord Y/L/N made it quite clear he has not received any mentions of a proposal.”

“Why, yes, of course he hasn’t. He has barely begun courting me, the season only began a week or so ago.”

“You’ve known each other for years, surely you must know by now if you are to propose, Mr. Weasley?”

George looked to you for guidance, just as confused as you at the interrogation taking place between the two of you and Beverly.

“As Miss Y/L/N said before, we’ve barely begun courting. I have always had the intention of marrying her, ever since we were children, but I wanted to make sure we are comfortable as partners, not just friends.”

“I am quite wealthy, you know,” Beverly reminded. “My family has considerably higher standing than the Weasley’s and there is so much more I could offer you than he can, Y/N.”

Lord Beverly took a step towards you, completely ignoring George standing beside you, but before you could ask him to step away, George thrust himself in between the two of you.

“If you ever so much as look at my future wife again, I assure you that you will see just how much influence my family has, Lord Beverly,” George spat. “You flaunt your money, your perceived power, when I have friends in much higher places than you could ever dare to dream.”

Philip backed away; his ever present smirk still adorning his face but he could not hide the glint of fear in his eyes.

“Well, I suppose I’ll be on my way,” Beverly grimaced.

“Yes, you shall,” George responded with a glare that would frighten even the most courageous of men.

As soon as Lord Beverly was out of earshot, you breathed out deeply. There was something about that man that made your skin crawl, more so than the other slimy, rich men of the ton.

You laughed quietly, and kept laughing until you were in a fit of giggles, prompting George to look at you quizzically.

“Y/N, what could possibly be so funny about being accosted by that scum?”

“I’m not entirely sure, I just find it amusing how intimidating you can be when you really try. You should be an actor, you know.”

“An actor? Why do you think so?”

“You played the part of a jealous lover far better than I ever could. One might believe you’re actually in love with me,” you snickered.

If you had looked at George for even a moment after your joke, you would have seen the hurt expression flash across his face. He tried to keep it at bay, but the reminder of the nature of your relationship ate at him far more than he imagined.

He had convinced himself that in time, your feelings for him would grow; how could they not when he was so sure that you were soulmates? Destined to be together for the rest of your lives? In doing so, he never stopped to think of the consequences of his actions if you were to never return his affections.

George began to wonder if his heart could bear it, because every time he looked at you and saw your beautiful smile, he felt it breaking piece by piece.

“What do you say to that, Weasley?” you asked with a smile, breaking George from his thoughts.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I was distracted, what were you saying?”

“Pay attention, Georgie, otherwise you might lose your only current prospect for marriage.”

“You’re my only prospect, period, not just current,” he chuckled.

For a moment, you allowed yourself to believe the weight behind his words was truthful, that your courtship was real and true. You’d convinced yourself for years that you held George Weasley in no higher regard than an acquaintance, but at any given moment where you were in the same room you always found your way to each other; bantering back and forth that, to an outsider, must have looked like disdain, but in your heart you knew that you held him at arm’s length to keep yourself from falling.

It had only been a week since the Danbury ball, but spending every day in secret with George (the two of you weren’t quite ready to announce to the public yet until today) and getting to know him as more than just a friend had opened your heart to frightening feelings that you shoved aside.

George Weasley had always wanted to marry for love, an ideal that you never allowed yourself to believe in and now, he was to marry you only because the true object of his affection was not an option.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right. Does that…does that bother you? Do you have any regrets about what you asked me?”

“I’m not sure yet,” George whispered, dropping your hand that he had held so tightly the entire morning.

No, you simply couldn’t allow yourself to entertain the foolish fantasy of feelings, not when you had the sole responsibility of taking care of your own heart.

“Walk me home, please, Mr. Weasley.”

“As you wish, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” cried a familiar voice from across the street.

You turned with a smile to see Eloise making her way towards you, her journal in hand as always.

“Thank you for walking me home, George, you can be on your way. I’ll see you tomorrow evening for the Norrington soiree, correct?”

“I wouldn’t miss it. Have a lovely day, Miss Y/L/N.”

He quickly raised your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Even though you were cross with him, you smiled shyly at the feeling of his lips on your hand, though it slowly faded away as you realized it was all a show for the audience on the street.

As Eloise hurried to you, you couldn’t help but watch George’s back as he walked down the cobblestones towards his own home.

“How dare you? I had to hear from gossiping mother hens this morning that George Weasley is formally courting you? Not only that, but he plans to propose to you? What happened to never marrying? Does your family know? The whole ton has been talking about it!”

“I – I don’t understand, this morning was our first outing together, I’ve just been spending time with him at his family’s home. How could anyone possibly know – ”

You paused, remembering your conversation with Lord Beverly earlier that morning.

“Oh, for goodness sake. Lord Beverly went to my father this morning while I was out with George, asking about proposing to me.”

“LORD BEVERLY?” Eloise shouted, interrupting your explanation.

“Yes, I know. A horrid man, but I don’t believe he will be bothering me any longer. George practically had him running away in fear but, as I was saying, Lord Beverly went to my father and of course I haven’t told my parents of our marriage plans yet, we’ve only just begun courting, so Papa told Beverly that I have no prospects. He approached George and I on our promenade, and practically interrogated us! One thing led to another and George expressed his desire to propose and, well, here we are. Beverly must have opened his mouth and now everyone in town knows.”

Eloise stared at you blankly, her wide eyes blinking rapidly trying to process all that you had just told her.

“Are you in love with George?”

“It appears so…”

You hated lying to her, but you and George hadn’t discussed if you would ever tell anyone and who you trusted to tell in the first place.

“Well, it’s about time!” Eloise yelled in your ear.

“I – excuse me?”

“Oh, you can’t possibly tell me you’ve been oblivious to his feelings all these years. And your own! It’s been painful watching you drone on and on about how you’ll never marry when he’s been right in front of you since we were children.”

“Eloise, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What do you mean, he’s courting you and is planning to propose, what is there to misunderstand?”

“Quite a lot, if I’m being honest.”

Eloise saw the guilty look on your face and immediately her jaw dropped, memories of her sister and the Duke clouding her thoughts.

“Of all the lousy schemes to get yourself involved in, Y/N, I cannot believe you. It’s all a ruse?! Is this a common theme with the prized debutante of the season, am I missing something?”

“Quiet yourself, Eloise! It’s quite simple, George cannot marry the woman he loves and I do not wish to marry. We get along fairly well and have things in common. We figured it would be to both of our advantages if we married each other and were able to live our lives as we please without people breathing down our necks about marriage.”

“You are truly oblivious, Y/N.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“George Weasley has loved you for years, I didn’t think it was a secret. The only issue is that you’re too stubborn to look past this aversion to happiness you’ve been harboring.”

“Education makes me happy. Traveling the world would make me happy. My own wants and desires make me happy. I don’t need a man or love to be happy, I thought you of all people would understand, Eloise.”

“I do understand, and because I do, doesn’t that make what I say all the more believable?”

Your reply got caught in your throat, the weight of Eloise’s words left a heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“I see the way you look at him, Y/N,” she continued. “You’ve convinced yourself so greatly that there isn’t a man who will love you for who you are that you’re blind to your own affections and the fact that there is a man who loves you exactly as you stand before me. You’re just afraid. I never thought I would call you a coward – ”

“That is quite enough, Eloise,” you snapped.

“I will relish in saying ‘I told you so,” she quipped back.

You watched her turn swiftly and did the same; stalking into the courtyard and up the stairs to your own home, all the while pondering the words you had shared with Eloise.

Secretly, in the depths of your heart where you never dared to venture, you hoped that she was right about George’s feelings for you, and that thought scared you more than anything.

taglist: @theweasleyslut @vivacesole @weasleyclaw @nuttytani-reblogs @theweasleysredhair @hufflepuffbaby9 @theboywhocriedlupin @swellwriting @fortisfiliae @thoseofgreatambition @woakiees @wildfire-whizbangs @gcdric @cherrycolakxsses @amhyeah @62442-am @letsgotothehop @emrysts @fuckoffthanos @uponashelf @confusedpretzel @theghost1345 @justalittleweirdoo @evermoreweasley @feminafatales

please let me know if you’d like to be added to the bridgerton series taglist or my permanent taglist!! if your URL is bolded, i was unable to tag you!

#george weasley x reader #george weasley au #george weasley #george weasley fic #bridgerton au #bridgerton x hp #george weasley series

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cardboxshelter · 2 years

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Ok this isn't all rational, and it is much more reflective of my own experiences than anything but it bugs me and I felt like articulating my thoughts so

Feel free to ignore, I'm not here to challenge anyone's perception of characters but describing my own disconfort. That's it, a disconfort ok?

Well, the thing is that, at least to my overall impression, the fandom treatment of Shouto-Touya and the other Todoroki-Touya dynamics does bother me quite a bit

Basically is how much of the Canon material is shown so much toxicity runs in the family , thanks to Endeavour goals and ambition to succeed in a distopian society and how it shaped the own family dinamics. It got to the point where Touya, as Dabi, has harmed the other victims of his father's abuse and neglect just so he can harm his father for not approving or seeing any value on him

But fandom material keeps excusing Touyas actions under the guise that it is a sign he still cares, even when he put his brother Natsuo under harm without any remorse, he disrespect his own mother even when he lived with them without once offering any help, and made her go through so much mental anguish by releasing that video. He had single minded goal of proving his worth to Endeavour, who I'm not excusing BTW bc he should have taken a stronger stance and showed his kid that he had worth beyond surpassing All Might, that he didn't have to prove himself. It's only about Endeavour approval he cared, and that lead to a terrible mindset, he sees himself as an failed experiment, views Fuyumi and Natsuo as failed experiments, and views Shouto as the one robbing the attention and approval of his father. In his eyes, if Shouto was not on the picture Endeavour would have no choice but accept him, since he got so close

I know this idea mostly came from the times when Touya was a mistery and so was what were his own personal feelings over his family. I get that the idea that even someone who commited many atrocities could still care for those who were at his same situation once is deeply resonant to many people

But at the same time while I can enjoy this for much of the fanon content, as AUs and fanfic can explore and be based around so many possibilities and divergences, it's not the same lens I apply to the Canon content, you know? Touya has a resentment over his brother taking the spot he wanted in father's attention, he sees him as a golden child who is following his father's wishes, a doll shaped by him

He wasn't there to witness how much Shouto rebelled and asserted his own autonomy, and wasn't there to listen to his reasoning to why he decided to intern under him, nor does he know that All Might is the reason Shouto got inspired to become a hero. He probably thinks Shouto only did because their father said so up until know.(it would be cool if they could actually have a proper conversation over this so Touya could actually see his brother as a human being, but he dehumanises his young brother just so he can feel no remorse destroying Endeavour's plans).

And the thing is, the presumption that Touya cares just because he is the older brother mekes me uncomfortable for personal reasons because I have been put under so much emotional abuse by my older siblings, and they did this for their own selfish gains. I wasn't the only life they destroyed and put under he just so they could get what they wanted either. Older siblings can have faults too, and not all of them have been put under a position to care for the youngest, and their aren't above throwing everyone under the bus to get what they want, related or not

(I wasn't feeling confortable initially sharing this since I didn't want to air any details over what happened but the more focus is put on dabi/touya, the more I dread interacting with the fandom or even taking a glance, and isn't even Horikoshi's fault. I dislike Dabi selfishness being stripped away from him)

#Personal #I don't know why I'm sharing this #Also this makes me avoid Dabi ships too bc so many involve him secretly caring that it just squicks me #This is a squick basically #I know many eldest and older siblings have been put under the pressure of being another parent to the youngest #But not all of them do #Sibling jealousy is real #I see Touya as living the fear that many kids have that their spot will be stolen by another better sibling #And never gaining any reassurance that he will still be loved equally #That it isn't a competition #And it just festering for his whole existance #Touya is a victim but I would still hold him accountable for what he did to strangers and close one's

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sillyandquiteawkward · 3 years

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little father and bayley fic under the cut bc i forgot my ao3 password and im lazy. hope you enjoy

Food supplements and leafy greens sat on Doctor Bayley's plate, which he picked at distastefully. The Director of the Institute, Father, sat across from him, making decent headway with his own meal.

"I don't think I can ever learn to enjoy the food supplements. This flavor isn’t palatable either," Bayley curtly complained with a heavy sigh. He felt Father's lingering judgement upon him for refusing most of his meal again, without even having to look up. He poked at the slab of supplement with the tines of his fork. Even the various flavors the Institute boasted of supplements couldn't save Bayley from the pastes, powders, and bars turning his stomach. He was trying his best to find a flavor he could stand, but to Bayley, even mirelurk was easier to eat. At least the fresh vegetables were decent, if not simply boiled or baked if cooked at all. "I'd kill for some real meat on your menu."

"Come now, Doctor, we have little need to slaughter irradiated animals for food in this day and age. BioScience has developed the perfect meal dozens of times over, consisting of the exact amount of daily nutrients a man like yourself needs," Father replies coolly. Bayley glared at the older man. Of course he'd like them -- he grew up on the damn things. Well, Bayley grew up on real food!

"Designed a food that doesn't even fill your stomach," he mumbled behind his mug as he took a sip. Now to their credit, this was something Bayley actually liked. The coffee wasn't stale 200 year old beans and grounds. My god, they perfected the damn synthetic coffee and Bayley couldn't imagine going back.

Father confidently smirked, passing smoothly over Bayley's remark with a gentle shake of his head. "You poor surface dwellers, eating any and all the food you can scrounge to stave off hunger. I'm glad we were able to save you from that life. Give it time, Doctor. Your stomach will re-adjust to your new diet."

Bayley scoffed dismissively and set his fork down to keep nursing his coffee. Father took his own sip of tea. The pair fell into a dip of silence, accompanied by the gentle clink of silverware against plate as Father continued to finish off his lunch. Behind them a few tables over, there was a slight chatter from another pair of scientists in the cafeteria. Licking a crumb of food supplement left on the edge of his mug with a grimace, Bayley listened to their distant hushed conversation. Sounded like gossip about another scientist’s love affair... Hard to believe that even the “perfect” Institute could be filled with, what was ultimately, humans.

Father spoke up after a minute of Bayley straining to eavesdrop, "Why don't you tell me about yourself, Doctor?"

"...Why?" Bayley eyed Father suspiciously. "Don't you already know all about me? Isn't that why I'm here?"

Father took a warm sip of his mug before continuing. "I know about your reputation, or lack thereof." Bayley all but growled at the dig. "And I know you care deeply for the progress of humanity, as do I, albeit a tad misguided. You’re a highly intelligent man, Doctor, but I'm afraid I don't know about you, personally. I'd like to remedy that."

What could Bayley tell Father about? Why should he? Oh, but he loved to talk about himself... Bayley leaned back in his chair with folded hands in his lap, food left forgotten on his plate. "What is there to say? I'm a man married to his work, who likes breathing fresh air. On the surface."

“What got you into studying radiation?” Bayley noticed Father missed his complaint, or at least was ignoring it. “Surely you didn’t set out from the start on such a dangerous fascination.” Father had a look of curiosity on his face that seemed genuine to Bayley, although he still had suspicions this had ulterior motives.

“It was almost from the beginning actually. As I studied medicine in my youth, traveling along the Wasteland, I have to admit,” Bayley paused to consider his wording. “I had a distinct admiration of the ghoul’s ability to utilize radiation to build themself anew. The destructive power of radiation makes using it dangerous and even deadly, true, but I imagined a world where we could manipulate the human body to replicate how a ghoul’s body uses the gamma particles destructive properties to heal themselves, sans the ghoulification process of course.” Okay, so maybe he planned to be cagey, but Father just had to ask him about the thing he’s devoted his entire life to. Sorry, he’s gonna get excited. “I’d seen first hand ghouls reattach long lost limbs to themselves and remain functional, ferals even being brought back to life by glowing ones’ radiation bursts, and the stories of people growing functional limbs from radiation exposure caught my particular attention at a young age.”

“Fascinating things ghouls are, although their rotten brains and appearance are less than desirable. If anything their longevity is what catches my attention. Living over hundreds of years...” Father drifts off, looking past Bayley. “Imagine what one could achieve with that extra time.”

“Living forever doesn’t matter if you aren’t healthy,” Bayley corrected. “What’s the point of living if you are just suffering every day. I’m focusing myself to helping people in this day and age, instead of chasing functional immortality.”

“Maybe that’s the difference between us,” Father sighs. “Everything I do is for tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow. Humanity's future lies in our successor’s hands. It’s a shame we cannot directly work with our future generations to combine our knowledge. All we can do is help prepare them for when we are gone.”

“Eventually people in charge need to step down and let the fresh ideas in, otherwise we’ll collectively stagnate. We are stubborn creatures who hate change, snuffing out ideas that contradict our own. If someone like you lived forever, he’d never give up the reins.”

“I suppose you’d do the same,” Father states blandly, eyes half-lidded. “As you said, we are stubborn creatures.”

Bayley sputters, sitting back up in his chair. “No, I am the innovator in this scenario! I’ve been ostracized for my ideas, kicked out and shunned. No one sees my potential to change the world!”

“And in your age, have you begun to prepare an heir to your scientific knowledge, Doctor? Or do you think you can finish this chronicle yourself, with the few years left in your life?”

“I-I have to prove myself first! No one trusts my work because they don’t see the proof -- which I was working on when you so kindly stole me away from my clinic and subjects!” Bayley hissed, gripping the edge of the table.

Unphased, Father folded his hands on the table. “I trust your work, Doctor Bayley. I’ve seen your studies, seen what you can do when you are truly devoted to a cause. This is why I wanted you with us at the Institute. I want you to share your knowledge to us, so that we may pass it to the future with us. Let us help you ensure your legacy. We have the same goals, and we even have similar methods if you can believe it. Imagine what we can do together when we combine our knowledge, for humanity’s sake.”

Bayley raised an eyebrow at that. “Similar goals perhaps, but I wont be a part of the kidnapping and killing of Commonwealth citizens. You Institute folk are outrageously barbaric for all your self-righteousness.”

“We simply know how to weigh the importance of breaking a few eggs for the omelette. You too understand this principle closely, don’t you?”

Bayley grimaced flatly. “You truly know how to charm a man to your side.” This conversation was over if Bayley had anything to say about it, which he did. He gulped from his mug, keeping it up to his mouth as he turned physically away from Father. He’ll finish this and go back to his room. Trapped in the Institute with these madmen, forced to go along with things else suffer the same fate as the hundreds of others taken to the Institute. And Father had the gall to act like they were the same, that Bayley could excuse innocents murdered for “science.” He slammed the mug back onto the table.

“I hope you’ll understand one day soon, Doctor. I really do.” Father sighed, closing his eyes in defeat as Bayley stood up.

“I don’t want to understand,” Bayley said as he stormed past Father back to the concourse.

It was too much to think about, if Bayley was being honest with himself. He grit his teeth climbing the stairs, tense. A scientist descending the stairs stood to the side as Bayley passed, clearly wanting to give the angry man some space and avoid any conflict. Good. If he was to stay here, people should give way for him. Now if only Father was like that. He passed a pair of expressionless generation two synth guards eyeing their laser weapons as he ascended the next flight.

God, he was annoyed. Of course Father had to go ruin another meal together talking nonsense of Bayley hurting others. He tried his best not to hurt his subjects -- everyone was willing and importantly, no one had died under his care! Sick perhaps in the early days... but it wasn’t death! Bayley couldn’t stand the idea his great idea could possibly kill others when it was supposed to be helping them. If he was ever responsible for someone’s death...

Bayley slid open the automatic door to his small, barren room. It was just a simple bed and desk, which was plenty for Bayley, but he wished he had his trinkets and such if he was going to be living here until the day he dies. He collapsed onto the stiff bed, face pressing against the cool pillow. He missed his couch. He missed his clinic. Bayley even considered he missed being annoyed by Jonathan and Jay’s antics. Jay would try his best to cheer him out of this spiraling train of thought, and Jon would know plenty of things to distract him with.

If he was ever responsible for their deaths, Bayley considered he’d quit on the spot. He’d probably become deeply depressed until he really did just curl up and die, however fast it came after. All his life’s work to save humanity, and he’d killed the only people who trusted him most to do so.

But the truly terrible part of him hidden away deep in his heart wondered that if someone was to die as a result of his work, perhaps even if he wasn’t working willingly with the Institute, that he'd simply wouldn’t care.

#doc bayley #father #shaun #silly art tag

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welcome-to-afterlife · 3 years

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mm, one thing I've always wondered... what happens when you fill your kaleidoscope? I mean. there's the whole wish thing but how does it get fulfilled? (I'm not sure if this is totally unknown or anything I'm not too far through the game :/) especially with a "going back" wish? I hope that makes sense,,, hope you're well 💜

Aha "doing well" is very subjective now isn't it..... aha.... ha ha..... ha 😭😭

Anyways, they never really go in detail about this in the story. I assumed its bc they planned to touch on it more in the future (which we will never see 😭😭), but I now I'm willing to put my own twist on it. I have 2 ideas: (Some spoilers from the side cards, so be careful)

Idea 1: Once the reaper fills their kaleidoscope, they are dismissed from the department and are sent back to the human world as their regular self at the moment after they had originally died (for example, Noah had died falling off a building. If his kaleidoscope was filled, then he would wake up on the street that he fell on when he originally died). The former reaper remembers everything (their original death and their time as a reaper) and are now setting their life to achieve their goal. All their Karma points (I think that's what they were called?) are reset and they basically live life all over again.

Option 1.5: Super similar to the idea above, except they don't remember the fact that they died or that they became a reaper. Instead, they just go back to living their original life to accomplish their goals.

Option 2: The reaper is reborn into the same person, but all their memories are wiped. For example, let's say that Sian filled his kaleidoscope. Nyang Lead Manager would allow Sian to be born again, essentially reliving his life from baby Sian all the way to older Sian. This time, Sian wouldn't die in the accident, but he would instead survive the accident and continue with his life.

Option 3: The reaper is reborn into a new body with no memories of their previous/reaper life. They meet the souls of everyone on their past life and the reborn reaper's instincts are based on the goal they had set as a reaper.

Not sure if that made sense, but these are some of the ideas I had. You can decide which one you want to go with since there is no canon answer.

#afterl!fe #afterl!fe headcanons #afterl1fe #afterlife #afterlife game

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kewltie · 4 years

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omfgggg pregnant!deku. imagine where no. 1 hero is not only an omega but is pregnant and it's still early in his first trimester so he's running around kicking ass but IT'S DEKU so ppl frets and worry over his safety that even villains r like uh i dont wanna mess w/ that. deku is like ridiculously popular & well like even among criminal bc he believes in 2nd chances & rehab of the criminals/villains & fight for disenfranchised youths who fell on the wrong side of the track. so yea, they fight against him but they're also kinda soft for him!!!

so when they found out their fav hero is pregnant & still patrolling there's like some super-secret nonverbal agree among them that they won't stop doing what they are doing but like,,,, nobody fucking touch deku ok or you'll deader than dead. which is ALL KIND OF HILARIOUS bc deku coming to a bank robbery & the criminals doesnt stop their crime but when they fight him, they're like super careful w/ him making sure he doesn't get knock back, fall, or hurt himself too much.

when deku finally captured them and as they're about to taken away, they happily congratulated him on his pregnancy & ask if he'd thought of names yet & one of them is like, "oh, when my husband was pregnant eating X & Y really help with the nausea." and izuku is like,,, thanks???

there's like so many ppl invested in deku's pregnancy that it bizarre bc he's not the first or the last omega to ever be pregnant but he's deku, prohero, no.1 rank, and symbol of hope. all that means is there's a hyper fixation on everything about him esp now that he's pregnant. talk shows, news channel, & celeb gossip show are all talking about it one way or another. whether he's should take an early leave of work or not bc of the danger of his job, the baby's sex, his pregnancy craving, bump watch (I KNOW), & even a countdown to his due date.

the entire country is in a baby fever just bc of deku. everybody talk obsessively about it & even if you find that one person who does not care they def know someone who does. all this happen while deku just go about his day like all of Japan isnt watching his every move lol. the strangest thing about deku's pregnancy is that there's no sign of the other parent?? deku isnt even dating anyone. he never mention any alpha AT ALL, only declaring that he plans to raise his baby all by himself as a single parent which blew their fucking mind bc wtfffff.

look, deku is the most famous omega around, sitting high atop of the world as the no. 1 hero & is adore by the mass--he's greatest omega of his generation some would say so yea there's lot of expectation & hope place on him but deku is deku & he does what he wants. ppl speculate that maybe he's pregnant bc he had a one night stand and this was accident, maybe he has been in a secret relationship all this time, maybe this baby was from a spurned lover or WORST yet a produce of rape... LIKE there's so many rumor swirling around but the answer is actually v v v simple. deku has always wanted a child and since he's nearing 30 right now, he thought it's hightime he has one and the other father? JUST A DONOR. it's nothing serious or complicated as ppl imagine to be.

deku wants a kid and now he has one!! but ppl just can't comprehend how it could be that simple when the most notoble omega in all of japan decide he wants a kid W/O having a mate and he's going to raise this baby all by himself and nope he's not even going to quit his job at ALL to have a family. deku is just--blowing their mind lol

the world doesn't so much get over it as they just kinda get dragged along bc deku does not give a single fuck wut other think and proceed to be immersed in his pregnancy and try to survive the next 6 months while everyone waited on bated breath to see what deku does next. the only thing that stick is the constant rumor mill of who is the donor of deku's baby. they assume that deku wouldn't just pick a stranger bc he's sentimental like that so speculations run amok about every alpha that is closely associate with deku.

there are public polls, betting rings w/ billions on the line, televised debates, internet flame wars, and ACTUAL ARGUMENTS B/T FAMILY/FRIENDS/COWORKERS on who the fuck is deku's donor! even more than deku's baby, they're fucking obsessed on finding out who is the actual donor. the thing is it's not THAT big of a secret. all of class A are in the loop, his mom know (ofc), and even his agency but they all managed to keep it a secret bc deku's privacy is the utmost important & beside the other father would literally MURDER them if it ever get expose.

this is how it went: bullied by his pr team, deku went on a variety show where they have to babysit kids & put through various childbearing challenge while cameras record them for entertainment purpose. It's there when deku realized "ah, I WANT THIS. I WANT THIS V BADLY." deku is climbing close to his 30 now, he's well established presence in the hero world, and his life is pretty stable so it's high time he have his own little family but the thing is babies are two ppl business. they don't just come from thin air so deku did the next best thing.

katsuki would like to say he didn't see this coming the same way you would not expect to be attack by a shark on land, but in this case deku is that fucking shark & katsuki is the idiot that get completley blindsided by him when deku cornered him one day and asked for his sperm.

ok, bakudeku aint dating. they have deep & complicated history that is not only confusing o everybody else but also confusing to them. 'friend' would be to light of a word but anything else is left undefined bc how do you explain more than 2 decades of w/e they are to each other. katsuki doesn't want to talk about the amount of time he'd used image of deku to get off while in rut just so he can survive through it, while the next few days trying to resist punching deku in the face bc he act like a sacrificial idiot who got a cross he wants to bear.

it's not 100% healthy his therapist unhelpfully pointed out but the core of all his volatile feelings have always been named deku & katsuki doesn't know how to compartmentalize it properly bc katsuki may have squashed to something small & insignificant but it's heavy & permanent. so when deku laid his fucked up request at katsuki's feet, he broke the table they were using and nearly walked out if deku didn't catch him by the arm in time.

"kacchan, pls here me out first," deku begged of him, his sweet permeating the air; he's NOT PLAYING FAIR AT ALL. whoever said alphas are the dominate sex in the world have never met an omega, a determine goal focus omega with babies on the brain like deku.

"kacchan, recently i realized that im only getting older so i want a child when i still can," deku explained. "so won't you help me? i know settling down right now is the farthest thing from your mind, but im not asking you anything like that," he continued as katsuki quietly fumed in the background. "i just want your help in making this selfish wish of mine come true. you're among my top choices, kacchan."

Katsuki jerked up. "wait, you mean to say there's a fucking list of alphas you plan to extort their sperm from?" he seethed, feeling like deku had took a goddamn knife to his pride and butcher it completely. "how many other ppl have you asked before you even came to me?!"

"im not extorting anything from anyone." Deku frowned. "and, well, you always lectured me about diving head first w/o any backup plans," he pointed out, "so i made sure to leave several options open just in case the first one fell through. see? i did thought this one thru."

katsuki nearly broke another piece of furniture at the thought of deku asking someone else to father his child as though he was just another face in a long list of ppl deku could use. "What did every alpha on ur shitty list rejected u already so now have to come to me for help?"

deku, who was no.1 for a reason, narrowed his eyes and the air crackled around them. "kacchan, this is extremely important to me so i wouldnt just chose anyone. i only know a handful of alphas i can trust and someone im happy to share the other half of my child with. you're the 1st person that came to my mind when i thought about a child growing inside of me," he said, wrapping his arm around his flat tummy. "despite our many differences you're the one i admire the most. your strength & ambition, grounded by your strong drive & work ethics. the fact that you got where you are w/ your own hands & wits to guide you, i think you're just amazing. so how could i not want those kind of qualities for my own child," deku explained. "im sure a child born from half of your genes you will shine just brightly as you do."

katsuki felt so taken back that found his tongue heavy and words were escaping him. on one hand he felt a rush of pride and a strange sensation of happiness that deku had specifically chosen him out of his potential candidates bc of the greatness he had seem in katsuki but he'd also narrowed katsuki out not bc of some sentimental bullshit or lingering feelings but he thought of providing his future child with the best gene pool as possible so his child can flourish. it's a damn ego busting for katsuki but deku was clearly a man on a mission.

katsuki hesitated and thought what it would mean to have a child out there who carry a lil part of him in them; it's unnerving and humbling at the same time. he never thought of it himself but deku had dream of this, wanted this so badly enough to beg katsuki for help.

"alright," he said finally, not knowing exactly what compelled him to agree, but the look of utter happiness spreading across deku's face as he can barely contain his joy. a single word from him had caused deku's word to shift and rearranged itself to make room for another life.

and that's how katsuki got con into helping izuku make a baby lol. but, really katsuki was the one who agreed to it out of his own will bc he's an idiot & also terribly whipped; omegas are the ones ppl should be frighten of bc once they make up their mind it's hard to move them. they're an unstoppable force, something to be reckon w/ esp when that omega is the no.1 hero who fought his way to the top of the rankings and maintain that status quo for many years despite how many times katsuki tried to topple him from that perch LOL.

katsuki already lost the war before he'd even put a foot down on battlefront the moment deku'd opened his mouth & demanded his sperm AND HE KNEW IT TOO. so that was how katsuki found himself preparing to empty his balls in front of a two-way mirror in a mating clinic bc of deku. omegas, esp males, are the most fertile when they're in heat & when an alpha go in a rut, but the both of them have this arrangment that's more of a duty than any feelings involve bc they cant risk getting mix up in the hormones. this is for deku & his future child!!! so the clinic had prepared a large room w/ two way dividing mirrors& open air vents circulating b/t the two rooms so they can breathe in each other scene where deku can have his heat on one side and katsuki can watch BUT NOT TOUCH and get his rut on so he can produce sperm.

it's uh, not supposed to be v sexy since it's all clinical & shit but bakudeku being bakudeku they nearly tear the room apart to get to each other in heat/rut madnes. deku had blushed earlier as he asked to be bind with quirk restrictions cuff just in case he go crazy which HE DID. at first the nurses there was more worry about katsuki going crazy and out of control bc he has been known to fall pretty high on the alpha aggression and they fear it would be katsuki who would be dangerous; BUT NOPE it's deku all all along who almost broke the REINFORCED MIRROR just so he can get to katsuki!!!! DEKU WHO PPL SOMETIMES FORGET IS LIKE THE NO. 1 HERO FOR A REASON. soft and sweet deku who single handedly can fuck you up with just his fingers if he want to. he's an omega on a mission and he wants that knot up his ass AND HE WANTS IT NOW.

the nurses & docs have to use everything in their toolkit to pull bakudeku apart. when it's all said and done, katsuki embarrassingly produce buckets of cum enough to last deku a looooooong long time if the first one didn't take lol while deku couldn't look at katsuki in the eyes. they are both horridly embarrass about their 'not mating' and their action toward each other there even though they never actually touch each other through out the whole heat/rut procedure. despite the fact that they DIDN'T HAVE ANY SEX, it was still the hottest exp for both.

katsuki never seen more more feral and fierce omega who nearly broke the entire room just to get to him, in that moment if katsuki wasn't in love already he would have been half way there and izuku didn't expect KATSUKI AT ALL. the way he had handle izuku was completely diff. in izuku's heat fever, katsuki was the lone anchor who'd provided him grounding. he tried to calm deku down from his ramp up hormones even though he was as clearly affected as deku. forceful but not unforgiving, commanding not unyielding, firm but gentle.

it was electric.

it was as though izuku was a wild animal unleashed and katsuki managed to tamed him and he never had even had to raise a single finger to do it. it was all in his words that cut through izuku's hazy feverish wants and desires. the kind of alpha that made deku's knees weak.

after that, they have wordless mutual agreement to never talk about it. deku got the sperms he wanted and katsuki had finally fullfiedd his obligation and isn't responsible for deku or his future child. HE'S DONE. they dont have anything to do w/ each other anymore. RIGHT??? ha.

it's funny bc izuku had his hope on a child but didn't think it would take so soon! he'd thought he would fail a few times first before he get really lucky w/ conception bc of his age now that he's older, this 'psuedo mating' can't replace real mating, & biology is fucking weird. even the fertility doc couldn't promise this procedure to insert bkg's sperm in him when he's still got in a heat fever will work 100% and if they fail, they have to wait for another HEAT to come before it could work. which mean months of waiting in b/t so izuku is desperate. BUT it took one try. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK as izuku anxiously waited for the news in next couple of weeks. he took at home pregnacy tests and when hall 3 results were positive he'd cried and called his mom but even then he didn't tell anyone bc he was so scare it just was a fluke.

he'd kept this secret until he finally got the visit to his doc and could get the firm confirmation he needed! when the doc revealed that he was indeed pregnant, izuku fell to his knees in relief bc finally, FINALLY, his dream of having a baby had came true. he's a father now!!

the doc had warned that the first trimester would be rough on him bc of his age and miscarriage is more likely for him than most male omega. maybe he should consider taking an early pregnacy leave bc of the danger his job poses to him & the unborn baby. deku had agonized over it. ultimately, he decided to continue w/ his hero work but won't take on as much stuff as before. he plans to be more careful & attentive to his safety, and defer his more dangerous work to his colleagues instead. all his friends and coworkers go out of their way to help him w/ this

izuku got an entire community of heroes WHO DO THEIR BEST TO ENSURE HIS PREGNACY GO SMOOTHLY bc look izuku may be doing this alone but HE'S NOT ACTUALLY ALONE bc he got his friends, colleagues, and mom to support him through this bc they know how much this means to him!!

katsuki was one of the last to find out but only bc deku plan to see him in person to tell him bc katsuki HAD GIVEN HIM ONE OF THE BEST GIFTS (beside OFA) and he wanted to thank katsuki in person but class A are a bunch of gossip mongers so he found out through their groupchat. it started as a joke about katsuki & his super seed bc what a fucking stud bakugou katsuki to have ONE TRY and is able to knocked izuku up so quickly lmao. w/e the fuck katsuki is doing or eating, apparently it works wonder for him bc one of his sperm luck out & hit jackpot. his so called friends cant stop ribbing into him for knocking up deku so quickly bc they know from deku's worry that it wasn't going to be an easy conception but IT'S BAKUGOU KATSKUKI, outdoing himself once more bc he never does anything by half, not even his own sperm lol.

izuku met up with katsuki right outside his agency bc he knew wassup and how to corner katsuki effectively by trapping him when he just high off his patrol when he least expect an ambush esp when he was too busy avoiding izuku's attempts to reach him bc of COMPLICATED FEELS.

it's not cowardice that kept katsuki away, but izuku was the source of all his confusing feelings already & now w/ the news that he's carrying katsuki's child now it'd gotten worst. izuku, though, was nothing if not persistent. he zeroed in katsuki right away w/ purposeful steps.

"kacchan, i'm so glad to meet you here," izuku says as though he hadn't coordinate this w/ katsuki's coworkers, who are all SOFT for izuku anyway lmao, to get katsuki alone JUST LIKE THIS. katsuki knew he was caught bc every one his friends & colleagues are FUCKING TRAITORS.

"what," he snapped, clenching the hands at his side as he tried to keep his gaze from izuku's still very flat tummy. it's weird to think a life was quickly taking shape there when it's not like izuku looked any diff but he smiling more brightly & warmth coming from his person. was this what they call the pregnancy glow? bc deku was fucking blinding that katsuki wanted to shove his hand to deku's face to block it out.

"what you want," he demanded again even tho they both know why deku was here.

unperturbed, deku smiled. "im pregnant now so thank you. you'd helped fulfilled one of my biggest dreams & im ever so grateful for it!" he continued, rocking happily back & forth on his heels but the words barely registered katsuki kept staring at the way deku's body swing out & he opened his mouth before he could think better of it.

"should you be even moving liek that ?" he asked BC SINCE FINDING OUT IZUKU IS PREGNANT HE LOST HIS MIND. as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was a dead man walking.

izuku leveled him a glare so fierce that he actually took a step back w/ chills running up his back. "kacchan i may be pregnant but im not an invalid," izuku said with the sharp edge of a smile and thinly veiled steel in his voice. the scariest part was that he hadn't drop a single smile but the ominous threas was there. "do you want me to show you how much of not invalid i am?"

katsuki scowled, face pinching at the thought whether this was just the usual deku's bs or this was deku's bs + the pregnancy hormones that get him so rile up. either way, katsuki no matter how much of an ass he was, he wasn't going to punch a pregnant omega to prove a point.

"fine, that was dumb sorry," he said, scratching the back of his ear in annoyance. "so was that all you wanted to say?"

deku's eyes crinkle in amusement as katsuki's scowl deepens. "yea, i just wanted you to hear the news from me personally and expressed my thanks."

"i'll take good care of them," he said softly, a stray hand caressing his stomach carefully. "I promise i'll be good to them so you dont have to worry."

katsuki paused and then, "I know," he said bc he does. deku was going to be a good parent w/o a doubt. That is a truth.

deku's eyes light up at katsuki's words and there was a hint of wetness in them that katsuki had the unnerving fear that he was going to cry right here and katsuki's entire agency going to charge out & murder him for making a pregnant omega, THE PREGNANT OMEGA DEKU cry in public.

"t-thank you," he sniffs, but THANKFULLY NO ACTUAL CRYING INVOLE, "it makes me so happy to hear that you in believe me. i won't fail you, i swear!" he said it like he was making a vow for world peace or some shit bc of how serious it had sounded but this was important to him.

"yea, okay," katsuki said, looking away bc got this entire conversation was agonizing bc here he was talking to the person, but not JUST ANY RANDOM PERSON, who is carrying a baby w/ half of katsuki's dna & they're not fucking each other. like,,, that's fucking weird okay.

"that's all i wanted to say," deku told him, fully aware how uncomfortable this talk was making him, "so I won't bother you anymore." he gave one last smile and turned to go but KATSUKI WHO SHOULD HAVE LET IT END THERE found himself opening his mouth and grabbing deku by the arm.

it was careful, a firm but gentle hand placed his forearm like deku was glass that stopped him for a moment. "if--if," katsuki said, swallowing around a stone in his throat, "you find yourself needing anything, call me ok? ANYTHING i dont care just call me and i'll be there."

a slow but the brightest fucking smile he had ever seen bloom on deku's flushed face. "ok, i'll let you know," he replied, bc this was KATSUKI PUTING HIMSELF OUT THERE AND WANTING TO GET INVOLVE IN IZUKU'S PREGNACY even tho deku had given him a clean break from it. HE CHOSE THIS.

katsuki doesn't know what he was thinking then but the words slipped passed his guard before he can stop it & now he fucking doomed himself, doom himself to 3am late night calls of deku crying in hysteric at his home bc he ran out of some rare hard to find fruit bc CRAVINGS. so now katsuki had to dragged himself all the way across town to hunt for this shit. the morning news of that day was hero ground zero harrassing shopkeeper in the FUCKING ASS'S OCLOCK FOR SOME FRUIT AND DEMANDING IT NOW FOR W/E REASON, WHILE LOOKING SO FURIOUS & UNHINGED.

look, it's not like deku doesn't have an entire network of ppl to reach out to if he ever needed anything bc they would even laid down their life for him but even when he's cursing a storm trying to get deku's his midnight craving, he's so relief it's him that deku called first. besides, he firmly knew wut he had signed up for the moment he had opened his mouth. offering is help in the pregnancy process was him choosing to get involve and commit to deku & his (god fucking damn shit, he can't think of it as *theirs* bc that's too dangerous) baby. and bc this is bakugou katsuki and he never does any by halves so even though he may have been reluctant at first but now that he's firmly on board he's going in full throttle w/ no break in sight. katsuki dumps all his $$ on pregnacy & prenatal care books.

he read papers, argued on pregnancy forum, & even harassed his parents on it just so he can come at this like a fucking boss bc while he has full faith in deku to put the safety of the fetus first but also HE DOESN'T FUCKING TRUST DEKU TO PUT HIMSELF FIRST which is just as import. deku has the self-preservation of a damn child & he can't expect a *child* to take care of himself so KATSUKI OBVIOUSLY GOT TO DO IT FOR HIM. so he make diet plans, prepare prep meals for deku ahead of them, annoyed deku's coworkers to watch out for him lest he does something stupid. he make it his firm mission that this pregnancy will go smoothly as possible so even when he's running errands for deku, getting his weird ass food craving, and taking deku to visit his ob-gyn, sitting in the waiting room anxiously for any news in case SOMETHING GO WRONG.

He even drives himself crazy learning about the things a pregnant person can't do/is at risk of doing & he doesn't know how anyone can fucking take this for 10 months bc it's like walking on a precarious tight rope. it's scary & humbling and he just want deku & the baby to be ok.

there are still crimes and villains to wrangle, and the world keeps on spinning; nothing really change all that much now that deku's pregnant but katsuki finds himself personally accolating his precious time and energy toward deku & the baby. he became one of those *PEOPLE*, ugh. he never got it even when his friends had popped out spawns of their own. he wasn't going to get dragged down by biology & all that general bullshit about settling down. he's at the top of his game & prize to take over deku's position as no.1. he got no time for playing family.

yet here he is standing in the middle of a fucking baby store, staring down a damn baby crib and having a melt down. who the fuck knew that baby cribs come in so many fucking versions and THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY OF THEM. he thought he had come prepare but no this was toughs shit. he only saw this store in passing while on a patrol & thought he should drop by but the next thing he knew he got trapped here for three fucking hours just looking at baby cribs. he already got several people walking passed him, eyeing him weirdly as he internally freak out.

there are ridiculous amount of info floating on the internet about crib buying guide like the bars could only be certain inches apart, non-toxic paints, diff kind of mattress, safe headboards, etc etc. all of that to ensure the baby doesn't fucking DIE bc babies are like FRAGILE.

he calls deku & as soon as he picks up, the first thing katsuki says is, "last year, there were 1,842 babies death due to sudden infant death syndrome."

a long pointed pause, and then, "oh geez," deku answers, "where are you? I'll be right there, okay? don't go anywhere!"

#bakudeku #not!fic #sperm donor au

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s-nh · 3 years

Text

Idk where I’m gonna go with this but I’m 25 years old and I’m so upset at myself.

I was in a toxic relationship from 17-24 and this person was 4 years older than me. He was caring and thoughtful at times and made me laugh a lot but he was also so cruel and narcissistic, and overall so disrespectful.

I shared my goals and dreams with him and he made me believe they were stupid. As our years together went by I stupidly revolved my time around him. I’d see him 4/5 days a week and spent my entire days with him. Not saying they weren’t enjoyable moments despite the fact that 75% times were spent arguing and not getting along, but as time progressed I started to think to myself,

“I get ready to see him and I come over to his house to lay around in his room all day watching him play video games, smoke and drink and eat.” Things I could easily do at home. I wouldn’t have had a problem If all that time wasn’t spent basically and pretty much doing absolutely nothing.

I was 23, and something in me was starting to die and that was my patience. He was 26. He worked part time at a food establishment, was still smoking and drinking and playing video games. That’s fine. But what else?? Like what else are you doing.

24 I gave up. The verbal and emotional and mental and almost physical abuse was enough. His will of wanting to improve wasn’t there.

I had one more dream left in me that I wanted to accomplish and when he shamed me for it. I reached my peak.

I left.

I felt free and I never knew I had this giant weight on my shoulders until a week went by and started focusing on myself.

I always had this feeling inside me that I gave my genuine love to the wrong person. I wanted to love. I wanted to have someone I could give that love to. But not just anyone. Someone who would reciprocate it back.

I dated someone shortly after and was hit with that “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse. Was I hurt. A little. But I didn’t let it beat me up.

Then this other guy comes into my life and he was so talented, so sweet, so handsome, I was just in such awe by him and All I wanted was to be around him. But he was busy and was “only able” to have me come over passed midnight.

One morning when we both woke up we went out for breakfast and he asked me “so what are your plans after quarantine?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yeah, like what are your moves?”

Then I realized I was over here judging my ex for not progressing while I was doing the exact same thing at the moment. Not really doing anything.

I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to keep taking these classes that had to do with this dream I have but I didn’t want to tell him. I believe in that superstition of “never tell someone what you’re going to do bc if you end up not achieving it, then you were just all talk. Move in silence.”

I can’t remember what I replied with but I remember asking him “what about you?” And he immediately answered with all these tasks and places and work he was aiming on accomplishing and I just felt so mad at myself.

In a way I was glad I was mad bc it kinda gave me a push to just stop being a procrastinating bitch and start moving like I wanted to when I broke up with my ex.

This guy, I just wanted him. I wanted him to myself. I wanted him to keep inspiring me in silence. But unfortunately he didn’t feel the same way about me when I expressed my feelings for him after 5 months of “talking”. I mean I only slept over every weekend and had sex, and received phone calls from him daily but slowly I started to notice a change. That feeling you start getting where you know they’re not as interested anymore as how they used to be? That.

It almost felt like he was forcing himself to call me, seeing me, everything. And this was before I told him how I felt. But I still tried. I’d like to think he was trying too but it almost felt like it was a chore for him. One day he picked me up so we could get boba and as we sat down, he was showing me something on his phone and he handed it to me so I could look at what he was showing me. He received a text and almost immediately took his phone from me to see who the text was from.

It was his brother in law but the way he snatched his phone from a text he got made me recognize that familiar action that my ex would do when he was cheating on me and would take his phone like that from me when he’d receive a text.

I ignored it tho. Later come to find out he was talking to someone else the entire time we were a “thing” and now he’s happy with her.

That’s fine but I wish he would’ve been honest and not hit me with the same shit. “It’s not you, it’s me and I’m just so broken rn and you deserve someone that isn’t. And no there’s no one else.”

But there was.

An old coworker at my previous job was interested in me and he knew what I went through w my ex and these last two guys.

He pursued me and what not and there I go falling for the attention and words that meant nothing once the deed was done.

I’ve become so numb now to men. My walls are so high and another old coworker of mine told me,

“Leave your feelings at home and just have fun. They don’t take you seriously, then don’t put in the effort. Play the game natalie.” I thanked him for what I considered stupid advice but ended up taking it as a few other men started shooting their shot.

I’ve messed around but wouldn’t get caught up on falling for their lame ass efforts. And I say lame bc it was the bare minimum.

They aren’t bothered so why should I be.

After leaving my ex I just started to do what I never did in my late teens and early 20’s and that was going out and having fun.

I made friends along the way and I can’t tell you how much I secretly appreciate the moments of just going out and being around them and getting drunk and being stupid.

But then it’s also a problem bc I should be focusing on getting my shit together and having fun later.

But I crave getting away from my house and just enjoying my time and forgetting about responsibilities and worries and stress from home.

This new guy came into my life and I remember telling him when we first hung out “I’m not interested in anything rn. I don’t want a relationship.”

But he goes out of his way in wanting to spend time with me even though he’s busy himself being a high school teacher, an architect, painter, doing branding for companies, and so much more.

He takes me out, expresses his interest in me, listens, treats me well but I’m stupid enough to not feel a single drop of mutual interest like he does.

I feel nothing.

And then I also feel bad bc I’m wasting his time. I’d love to be his friend but I know he would erase me from his life to get rid of the hurt that I know I’ll cause.

But it’s not fair to him. And not right of me.

Like he knows what I said that day of not wanting anything but it’s like he’s been trying to see if I’ll change my mind.

Myself from a year ago would love and appreciate the fact that I finally found someone who could reciprocate what I’ve been trying to give but my present self now doesn’t feel that same attraction.

Idk I’m everywhere with this whole rant but idk what do.

I can’t with myself 90% of the time.

I need to get it together. Time keeps passing by day by day. Second by second. There’s no going back.

He’s offering me jobs and amazing opportunities but how fucked would I look and be if I accept knowing he’s only doing it bc he likes me and I don’t feel the same.

I’d deny bc of it even though I want to say yes.

I don’t know.

#personal #me #fml

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tiny-tany-thaanos · 4 years

Photo

Cameron Joyce for @toxoplasmajuice ‘s Atkins MMBC

He/him, bisexual Book Worm | Computer Whiz | Perfectionist | Brooding | Snob And... he has no lifetime wish selected (my bad) so feel free to choose whatever you feel will suit him.

A young single father from Twinbrook Cameron has been struggling to raise his child and to deal deal with his own sens of uselessness for years when the apocalypse happened. For his daughter’s sake he kept calm and find a solution to save both of them. After a while he came across Clyde Atkins’s BC and after a period of hesitation decided to sign up. Being rather cold (and heartbroken) he doesn’t really believe that BCs can really bring him love (yet, no doubts, he finds Clyde attractive). He’s oblivious to the all MMBC happening, as he never really was into the topic.

Cameron Joyce comes together with his daughter, Ashley “Ashes” Joyce.

Hair

Private Download

Interview and additional Information is under the cut in case I found there some embarrassing typos to deal with later.

I wanted a bastard with glasses and then I remembered that I already had one. Oh this one is... something. Wait for it.

So this guy is Phoenix’s Wilde’s biological father. I’ve never shown him there are only hints in Phoenix’s Bio that he’s dead in the “main verse”. I got the idea to send him to the MMBC because... apparently I love making this family miserable? Also the guy existed behind the scenes longer than Phoenix, so it’s time to give him some spotlight (questionable spotlight...)

The initial sim looked way older than YA so I changed him a bit though I couldn’t get rid of “Holier than thou” expression carved into his face.

The In-Character Portion (questions written by Clyde Atkins himself):

1. Tell me a little about yourself. Y'know, name, pronouns, age, where you’re from, anything else you might say if I asked you, "Who are you?"

My name’s Cameron Joyce. I use he/him pronounces. I’m 24 years old and come from Twinbrook. I’m a single parent to a daughter called Ashley.

2. Before the world ended, did you have any long-term goals? Where would you picture yourself in the future if the future didn’t crumble in front of our eyes?

I think my biggest long-lasting goal was to see my girl to grown up healthy and somewhat happy. It would have been nice to finish my college education and make my PhD in Science. I planned to continue my studies when Ashley started school.

3. Any talents or skills? What about hobbies?

I’m good at chemistry and physics. Does it count? I don’t really have any hobbies. Does reading count?

OOC: Why yes, he’s pretty intelligent. He just didn’t want to boast about it in this interview.

4. If you feel like sharing, what was your love life like before this? Totally fine if you don’t wanna talk about it.

I had a girlfriend back in high school and she ended up being my daughter’s mother. What can I say, our prom was really eventful (I feel the need to point out that we both were of age then). Her dad… wasn’t really fond of me, however, and he also thought that Evelyn was far too young to be a mother. So, he made us break up and basically forced me to take care of Ashley. I suppose he intended to take her back when she’s older and that’s why he didn’t want to give her for adoption. I’m unwilling to go into further details regarding it, I hope, you’ll understand.

As for Evelyn… I actually didn’t get a possibility to talk to her after Mr. O’Queen made us break up. And I don’t want to talk to her, to be honest. If she cared about me and Ashley, she’d find a way to reach out, right?

And I didn’t have time for new partners afterwards as I was busy with my daughter.

5. Besides the sanctuary part, what made you sign up for this BC?

They say children need two parents? And in these circumstances, I do not have much of an alternative. Right?

6. Okay, okay, hot take: […] do you have a criminal record?

No, I do not have a criminal record.

OOC: Well, he’s innocent in this verse, but I think I need to point out some details from Phoenix's story which may be crucial for his character.She doesn’t hate his guts for nothing. He also participated in projects dealing with illegal experiments on humans. In this apocalyptic universe he doesn’t do anything like that but that doesn’t mean he isn’t able to. It’s still the same person, ya know.

7. Anyway. Random fact about you?

I’m a college drop-out. I abandoned my studies to raise my daughter. I don’t really want to talk about it, why have I even mentioned it?

OOC: Yeah, I think he must be ashamed of not finishing college yet. He understands that he had to do it for Ashley’s sake, but he still cannot forgive himself as he thinks he could combine his studies and raising his daughter. He barely talks about it (I give you the ground for the potential conflict, you see?)

8. Is there anything important I should know about you? Health-related stuff, ancient curses following you, that sort of thing?

Sometimes I get migraines but that’s all, I guess?

OOC: when he gets migraines his vision drastically deteriorates, and he may mistake someone for his ex.

9. Is there anything or anyone you had to leave behind to come here? (This one’s optional, too.)

*he hesitates* No, no one. My daughter is with me, that’s the most important.

10. What’s the first thing you’re gonna do when things calm down and we can leave the BC house again?

I’ll do whatever my daughter wishes to do.

The Out-Of-Character Portion (questions written by toxoplasmajuice themself):

1. Usual OOC question 1: may I draw your Sim? (No one’s ever said no to this, but it never hurts to ask, right?)

Sure, you can!

2. Usual OOC question 2: do you have any tips for writing your Sim that you feel the interview and/or your intro post don’t already give me?

Cameron easily can be snobby and very aware of his intelligence. He’d always make snarky remarks especially towards people whom he sees as inferior to him (in IQ). If he doesn’t like someone, he’d keep passive aggressive and won’t engage into argument unless someone else initiates it. I also feel like his morals may be slightly questionable. I think he wouldn’t use swear words, unless he’s under great stress (which this challenge can easily provide).

And I think he behaves older than he actually is, but I think that’s understandable – he had to grow up and become responsible, he couldn’t afford to be a reckless dumbass.

His relationship with Ashes is friendly and they rarely quarrel, however, they aren’t that close. Ashes may secretly blame Cameron for failing their family and is angry with him for not being able to see her mother. If Cameron survives long enough to see Ashes enter her preteen years, this hidden grudge of hers escalates into an open rebellion. But now Ashes is a little girl and her love for him overweighs.

And I feel like I have to pint this out, Ashes is supposed to be still very young. She’s basically just turned a child, so she’s supposed to be like 5 or 6 years old. The only reason why I made her a child and not a toddler is because I wanted to spare you trouble.

3. Time for some new, spicy OOC questions! First of all: I want to start decorating contestants’ rooms this time around. Do you have any pointers as to decorating your Sim’s room? General themes are fine, and if you have any specific objects you want me to put in your Sim’s room (EA content or CC), that’d be great.

I think he likes everything to be neat and rather ascetic. I don’t know whether you want to keep the contestants together with their plus ones, but Ashes are definitely more of a slob (well, she’s a kid). She’s a tomboyish and probably doesn’t really play with toys but she must be really into some fun experiments especially dealing with destroying things. (there must a scientific table for kids in Generations? I don’t know, I never had this EP).

4. And for the other new, spicy OOC question: will you generally be around for random questions I have regarding your Sim? I might need random bits of information from everyone from time to time... for reasons. :)

Sure, I’ll be around! Not planning on leaving anytime soon.

#ts3 #the sims 3 #my bc contestants #toxoplasmajuice #my sims: cameron joyce #finally!#You won't believe how long he and Ashes were in my drafts

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xueyangs-pinky-finger · 3 years

Note

Ooh I have the cloud recesses as my phone background.

Are you vegetarian? I am (mostly). Meaning my family has always been vegetarian so that's how I grew up and now as an adult, I've tried some meat but only eat it in social situations with friends occassionally.

Oh yes the nightless city sky is soooo beautiful!! I noticed the same thing whenever I giffed the scene where lwj shouts Wei Ying!!!!!! as wwx falls 😈😈

I used to be a huge fan of Hannah Montana as a teenager! Were you?

I've almost escaped from essay hell! Just need to proofread and edit and then upload. Almost there 😅

And yes of course I'm trying to get more cellmates in thirsty jail. Spread the thirst! 🥵

I couldn't find the exact fic link I'd mentioned but I think it was this one? I'm not fully convinced since I think the summary I'd seen before had other stuff also mentioned but it wouldn't hurt to share this link anyway so: archiveofourown.org/works/26220175/chapters/63814693

What languages do you speak? Are you trying to learn any language right now? If not, is there any language which you wish you knew or that you've always wanted to learn?

A more random question: what do you look for when creating or customising your Tumblr theme? Are there any specific must-have features? Eg. For me, I need to have pagination and not infinite scroll. And I need tags to be visible and reblog+like buttons available immediately. And easy navigation links that I can customise. I'm kind of picky, lol!

oh you’ll have to show me which pic you used sometime! I think I got mine off of nsmgroup’s twitter~

yup yup, have been my whole life (minus one experimental phase when i was rly young that i don’t like to think about)! same, it’s how i was raised & my whole family’s vegetarian too~

i’m a sucker for a pretty sky~ whenever we get nice pink clouds here or anything i always gotta go out and take pics lol. (and how many times have you giffed it omg u masochist!!)

oh for sure! you know i watched disney channel and bought those albums, lmao. though it might’ve been more pre-teen era for me? but yeah i think my faves were hannah montana, wizards of waverly place, and suite life (i must’ve watched the original but i have more memories of suite life on deck since that came later)~ i also watched sonny with a chance and then so random after~ & i was rly into high school musical, ofc. <3 that’s probably one of the reasons i enjoyed julie and the phantoms so much, is bc it’s kenny ortega and it has hsm vibes~ we need more fun musical shows and movies, honestly…

ah yay! do you have a celebration planned for when you finish? 😄

tsk tsk tsk, your pro-thirst agenda never rests… 💜

oh damn, 73k… 😳 i’ll file that one away for later, lmao.

i’m a monolingual loser, unfortunately 😔 love the idea of speaking another language, lack the motivation to follow through (story of my life alkdf). all i’ve got is a few phrases in korean, thai, and chinese i can recognize from being into kpop and watching dramas. the language i want to learn rly depends on what i’m into at the moment, but right now it would be korean and chinese. chinese just seems sooo difficult tho; it scares me alkdf. korean i feel like isn’t that bad, just based on what i know so far~ that is always a goal i have in my mind tho, to at least open up duolingo every once in a while, i just haven’t been able to get serious about it. i think i’ve always been interested in languages, but aside from being forced to learn spanish in elementary school (of which i obtained 0 knowledge after 5-6 years; everybody disliked the teacher and no one learned anything lmao), and taking like one french class, i don’t think i ever rly had a particular language i wanted to learn until i got into kpop~ i definitely wish i’d managed to learn one when i was young, since i’ve heard it gets harder as you get older, especially when it comes to accurate pronunciation, but oh well…

ooh that’s a good question bc i just recently gave this blog a theme for the first time ever!! i think i agree with everything you mentioned~! actually here are my notes from when i was looking for a theme lol: “one column, probably not too narrow, not centered, but to the right with the side bar to the left of it. a side bar that’s more gif-heavy than words-heavy (i want to showcase a good-sized gif of xue yang + pinky there). probably not too colorful, but black and white, to go with the content/theme of my blog. not super fun & sunshine and rainbows-y, but not too boring and businesslike either. no infinite scrolling. search bar is a must (rip maybe i can add one TT).” i still haven’t figured out how to add a search bar, rip… it also depends on the vibe of the blog, like i love colorful themes but they don’t rly suit this url, lmao. but i’d love to use a more fun theme on my other side blog~

#mdzsnetcc #it's been so fun chatting with you this month! <33

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makku-ruko · 4 years

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Warning Spoilers? I mean some spoilers.

Sooooo lemme give my thoughts on Kuroshitsuji and the ever loved yaoi fanbase.

Let’s start with interpretation. I read somewhere in another’s response that Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship somewhat surpasses master and butler but not in any conventional way whether it be: familial, friendship, romantic, etc. They appear to have an understanding that more connects their inner beings than anything else. I’ve seen it in some of the moments where they’re simply conversing (e.g. Book of Circus last episode on the train).

Ciel is ruthless, cynical, prideful and is very good with strategy. He is a good leader but not inherently on the side of good. He’s a boy that’d already given in to the dark side the moment he made the contract. At such a young age, governing who lives and dies by order of the Queen. He appears to be neutral and his moral scales seem to always be wobbling. That said, he still has his innocence, childishness and a dormant wish for ‘things to be better’. He lies without really thinking and surely feels guilt and regret despite saying he won’t and forcing himself not to. He’s brash, forever moving forward and conditioning himself not to look back if necessary. Very intelligent and rather self aware. The things he tends to deny are only conventional positives e.g. caring for people or generally being a nice person (unless he has guests.)

Sebastian has no limits. Instead, he gives himself limits to fit his job. Not short of perfection, he’s long suffering and has next to immaculate endurance. A brilliant performer and employee yet we don’t know much about his emotions. If anything, Claude appeared to be the perfect example of what a demon was supposed to be. Perhaps Sebastian is like that without the smoke and mirrors.

Now the both of them seem to bond over sin. Ciel being so accepting of his own flaws as a human and being so aware of what makes one; I feel like Sebastian really admires that about him. He who has no morals, who kills with no remorse and sees things generally through black vision. Both him and Ciel are in the darkness, eradicating smudges from Her Majesty’s ‘great vision’.

Towards the end of season 1, when Ciel flinched and decided not to take his revenge right then and there, when he’d begun making excuses and trying to run from it, Sebastian had lost the glint in his eye. Disappointed. It was probably rather anticlimactic, like seeing a dessert you’d longed for grow too watery. Ciel, being prideful, found his way back to being himself eventually after realising the main goal that he’d lost sight of and understood that his soul in that condition, wavering like that had become unappetising.

Revenge is the fire that keeps Ciel’s soul as delectable as it is; What lead him to the path he now walks that he can’t return from. As such, all his other ‘sins’ can fall neatly around him as he can pick whichever card he pleases to help him move forward. This is the aesthetic that keeps Sebastian tied to his hip— the perfect meal for a perfectionist.

Okay so I’ve rambled on a bit. Now onto the yaoi aspect. A lot of the ways in which I’ve seen people portray the relationship becoming a thing is Ciel letting out his weakness and or exposing his feelings somewhat. As much as it probably works, to me, the thing I keep saying when I see it is “Ciel would n o t let that happen”. Exposing his feelings?? HAH as if. I know he cares about Elizabeth a lot and plans to marry her out of duty (but also out of his own feelings too). That is the canon part of it. Thing is, this boy is so damn hard to read.

Before y’all start yelling, I’m not into the pedophilic 10000 something year old demon ending up with a 12 year old. That’s a no.

I like watching the relationship between him and Sebastian develop. Whatever it is, it’s a bond of some sort and if I’m honest, I see it. Some slight hints and the attachment. In another universe it could happen (just not in a conventional way). The way sometimes Sebastian is so careful and delicate when handling or holding him. I don’t see a father or brother, I see a caretaker or a tutor. But even so, I still don’t see that. Some scenes look like it’s almost past that?? It’s hard to explain but it’s never conventional. The typical ‘oooh~ blushy blushy I have feelings’ or tsundere ‘nooo! Don’t touch me you idiot!’.

It’s just. I can’t put my finger on it. But if I had to see it happening, I would imagine that they’d continue their business/teasing/friendship up until a point where it becomes possible. Whatever deeper bond is kept underneath a bunch of leaves until Winter comes and reveals everything. What I mean is: Ciel will grow up. If he doesn’t go through with the contract, he’ll grow up and whatever was dormant will start coming through. Needs or rather what he didn’t know he needed (don’t think of it like that -.-) will start coming through. And Sebastian is literally riiiight next to him. The comfort. The go-to. So. Needless to say. In my mind, I feel like the boy will be very confused.

As a duo, they’re adorable. I love seeing them together and it just works. The aesthetic, their ideals, their personalities (I use the word loosely) etc etc.

This was a huuuuge ramble and I didn’t really go anywhere but I guess the easiest thing to conclude all this with is: Yes, I can see them together. No, not right now. When Ciel is older and has his mind opened to other things? Yes. I don’t blame the yaoi fanbase but I don’t condone the pedophilia. No matter what, Ciel is a minor. The demon ending is a different story. But the boy is a boy.

Unless you wanna go into darker and realistic territory, yes it could happen but no I wouldn’t condone it. It would be the ‘it is what it is’ shrug moment bc idfk. Real life is messed up. If it ever went there, I wouldn’t be surprised- things get complicated and Sebastian is a demon. In terms of characters, I don’t think so...unless the ‘needs’ thing comes early (which is a eughhh no) but would I blame anyone for writing it? No. Just don’t romanticise it. It ain’t right.

———

Update: I didn’t really see what was behind the Sebciel ship. Turns out no matter what, it’s still impure and not a good. No no. So I’m all for the platonic thing. Not like I wasn’t before but the aged up thing doesn’t sit right anymore. (Which is unfortunate because there were some good spinoffs).

That said, I still don’t give a shit about the Yaoi fanbase. It’s a whole kettle of fish to get into. Do what you want, I won’t be shocked by anything nor will I condone it. Platonic only is good.

#kuroshitsuji rant #sebaciel #spoilers

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desolationlovers · 3 years

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oh yall thought i was done x posting? lol. kamui character rant under the cut

the thing about kamui is i dont know that hes a very deep character??atleast not how clamp has written him and esp not in the manga.

he spends a lot of the manga being confused and often manipulated. and hes really just a kid.

his first big character arc is debastardization basically. when hes introduced hes a TOTAL asshole (the anime added scenes to make him more of a dick at the start but also has a bit of an explaination? ill get to it). hes shown as very rude to everyone around him, yelling at people to get out of his way or get lost, including his previous friends. hes also shown to have absolutely no care for his surrondings and regularly fights and uses his powers in places where bystanders could be injured and leaving roads bridges or nearby buildings in ruins. when confronted about the latter by hinotos knight (his name is saiki) he straight up says he doesnt care if anyone gets hurt. which i mean ok nothing wrong with a character being an asshole. the extreme in your face way kotori and fuuma describe kamui as a kid being very shy and Very quiet and gentle makes this characterization confusing but hey people can change i guess. the confusing part is that as kamui slowly beings to let his guard down he says that the big reason he was so standoffish especially wrt kotori and fuuma was because he wanted to keep them at a distance so they wouldnt get involved with all the end of the world stuff. which makes sense obviously! kamui was absolutely aware of how dangerous it might get. his entire plan was to get the shinken (the sacred sword) and bail because he didnt want any part of any of it. what i dont get is why he was totally cool with bystanders being injured or killed. during his fight with saiki they were in a neighborhood! on people roofs and shit!! saiki is the one to lead them to an abandoned construction site so no one gets caught in the crossfire. and kamui almost kills saiki!!! which i will let slide a bit because kamui was being followed and had been attacked by spells literally that morning. but later on he apologizes to saiki but never explained his reasoning why he didnt care about destroying peoples houses??? and its never brought up again?????? also theres a scene added to the anime where he kicks the shit out of kotori and fuumas dad??? because he wouldnt give kamui the sword?? bro thats ur best friends dad you jackass!!!!!

in the anime they added flashbacks for the time after he moved away from tokyo which i think make his whole character make much more sense. when he first moves and goes to a new school he accidentally uses his powers and makes everyone afraid of him. fast forward past elementary school to high? school? its unclear. at school hes a lazy slacker that never goes to class and never talks to anyone, big ol loner. he sees that a local gang has been stealing kids money and beating them up. so he decides to put on a tough guy persona and confront the gang telling them to knock it off and scaring them shitless with some fun ass kicking psychokenesis. now i am SO on board with this addition. kamui being ostrisized for being weird and scary when hes already a super shy kid, so he embraces this scary intimidating image and tries using it for good because hes still ultimately kind hearted. he gets too absorbed in this tough guy persona that he loses touch with the original purpose of it and just uses it as a shield because he himself is afraid and confused. and maybe even hiding behind it because hes so afraid of having this huge destiny that he doesnt know if he can live up to and how can someone who decides the fate of the world be just some quiet oversensitive guy.

except all of that is my own speculation and analysis because they really do not go into ANY detail about this. i wouldnt say its to the point where it feels like they just flipped a switch and hes nice now but it def feels like that. and it annoys me because after he kind of apologizes for being a dick it doesnt really get brought up again?? i think he broods over it once or twice. but i would have really liked to see flashes of it coming back in high stress situations or something? he has a lot of points of grief and depression but its always meloncholic rather than angry and it really makes him feel like two different characters i wish it was way more of a mix.

anger would also be good with the whole overarching theme of trying to break out of the path destined for you. its constantly said that theres only one future by the dreamgazers although hinoto wants to change it. its supposed destined that kamui will lose and earth will be destroyed. anger but more importantly PASSION is whats needed break out of what has been preordained and to carve your own path. passion is also whats needed for the main part of the second half of kamuis character arc, figuring out what it is he REALLY wants. what his true wish is.

i also think anger could have been a good inverse to the deliberate mirroring of kamuis character and subarus character. subaru really represents despair and being completely swallowed by grief. his story is that the man he fell in love with (named seishiro) was just manipulating him for fun and is actually an emotionless assassian. subaru is so destroyed by this realization he goes into a depression and because of this is unable to save his sister being killed by seishiro. his goal is literally to be enough of a nusance to seishiro that hell kill him. literally he wants to be acknowledged as important enough to bother killing. its pointed out often how subaru and kamui are so similar, with how fuuma killed kotori, and how theyre both kindhearted ro a fault. its an intentional reflection. subaru even pulls kamui out of a similar depressive state after kotori dies. he and kamui have a whole heart to heart about how some peoples happiness can look pitiful to others and how hes going to fufill his goals even when other people are worried for him. and most importantly about how not everyone can be happy with an outcome. i think it would have been really good for subaru to represent someone overcome with depression about how awful the world is and paralyzed with that sadness and kamui would be the rightous anger and compassion needed to actually change the world. “lets this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair” you know? it would have been a really good parallel considering part of x’s themes are literally about having compassion for humanity. but that reading possibly shoots itself in the foot because the language used wrt the two possible futures are things to stay as they are or for a “revolution” to occur, meaning killing everyone to let the earth heal. so ideas of change are insinuated to be connected with the seven angels and genocide. which uh. not going to get into that.

i do like when he starts going to the clamp school he goes back to being shy and quiet and kind of gets pushed around by people with more force of personality. very fun uncomfortably relatable. its ok man im extremely passive too.

anyway final thoughts kamui needs more passion. clamp give me the rights. also let subaru and kamui hang out and have a brotherly bond. no creepy shit. just subaru being an akward older brother that knows what kamuis going thru and gives bad advice bc he has god awful coping mechanisms.

side note we arent ever told about his likes/dislikes hobby or anything of that nature. the blankest of slates. so my city now. i think hes into obscure indie music and has thousands of hours in various life sim games like animal crossing and stardew valley.

#lees posts #forgot to post this last night #clamp posting

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