#I’m older than I look

[queefy-5-layer-burrito]

#I’m older than I look #but I wanted a fresh start without the baggage of my real identity #so count me amongst the Reddit refugees I guess #thanks for still being there for me #196 #reddit #reddit blackout #fuck u/spez #meme #dank memes #forg

[mmelolabelle]

look I don’t know what award-winning journalist and author daniel molloy said to make louis look like a kicked puppy and armand to huff like a 1950s housewife whose appetisers were just insulted —

but he was absolutely right and they deserved it

#iwtv trailer!!!!! #if old man daniel has no fans it’s because i’m dead #louis looking SUPER happy and well adjusted here #meanwhile i need no dialogue to know that armand is probably demonstrating that while he may be physically older than his canon counterpart #he still doesn’t have a fully developed pre-frontal cortex and it’s everyone’s problem #armand #daniel molloy #the vampire armand #louis de pointe du lac #armandaniel #danlou #interview with the vampire #amc iwtv

[atopvisenyashill]

Thoughts on the Alysanne is Maegor's daughter AU? I feel like it has some interesting potential, and it vastly recontextualizes different parts of Jaehaehae (I do not like him sjsjsjs) and Alysanne's relationship (such as Jaehaehae's treatment of their daughters) but I wanna hear what you think about it!

I’ve touched on this a bit before but since you actually want to hear my thoughts, allow me to present to you my Jaehaerys Is The Goddamn Worst, And Alysanne Annoys Me Too: An Essay lmao but my answer is basically “yeah all of what you just said.”

I think it makes Alysanne much more palatable (to me) as a character because as she stands, she just fixates on forcing her daughters through these fucked up marriages at too young an age bc it traumatized her to be married and pregnant at 15 too but she’d never admit that being a willing participant in her own kidnapping by her brother-husband was the single worst thing that ever happened to her, and because Alysanne doesn’t want to admit it (and Jaehaerys would never see it as wrong or a mistake) F&B really shies away from delving into the fact that Alysanne is as deranged of a mother as Cersei is. So as she stands, she’s very flat to me because she’s presented very flatly and inconsistently. She’s so in love with Jaehaerys, she’s maritally raped by Jaehaerys, she’s a loving and doting mother, she forces her daughters into marriages when they’re the same too young age she was, she accuses her teenage girls of being scheming whores then gets angry when her husband accuses their teenage girls of being scheming whores, and worst of all we are just told “Maegelle tells them to make up so they do” so we don’t know why Alysanne gets over all of this. What is the point of riding a dragon when you never use that dragon to protect your daughters from unwanted teen marriages? We’re just not given a good enough justification for why her behavior is so weird and frustrating towards her daughters.

Make her Maegor’s daughter though…most of her behavior as an adult makes more sense. Like a worse version of Rhaenyra’s childhood almost - a father desperate for a son, but lowkey obsessed with his daughter, who makes all his hang ups about his parents the problems of every woman around him, except Maegor is out here blood sacrificing and torturing and starting wars and forcing babies on wives he discards quickly and brutally. Then here comes Jaehaerys on a white horse green dragon to save her from the horror her life has become, and he loves her so much he runs away with her even though Alyssa says they shouldn’t marry because people won’t like it. And they have beautiful children, and a beautiful marriage, and build a beautiful kingdom.

Then her pregnancies start getting dangerous. Gaemon, then Valerion, die. Alysanne thinks of the shriveled up mutants she called brothers, if Maegor’s taint has passed to her. Her perfect husband ignores her no, and forces Gael on her. Alysanne remembers that he said nothing to Rogar when Alyssa died, merely wept. Then her daughters start to die. Daella, Alyssa, Viserra, all within a few years. Then Jaehaerys makes Saera watch as he murders her boyfriend, calls her a whore, and says Alysanne cannot follow Saera to Lys. Alysanne thinks of Maegor torturing the Harroways over Alys’ presumed infidelity. Jaehaerys says he’s sorry, and her daughter badgers her into forgiving him, and she remembers how she helped Jaehaerys badger Alyssa into forgiving Rogar. Not two years later, Jaehaerys passes over Rhaenys. Alysanne thinks of how she was never enough for her father, how she felt so superior to Rhaena banished to Dragonstone and resented by Aerea, yet there she is dragging Gael away from court because she can’t stand to be with Jaehaerys. How her father was surrounded by dead women and dead babies and how Jaehaerys is surrounded by his own dead daughters, but surely she did the right thing, surely Maegor was worse, surely the realm is better off? Is he right to pass over Rhaenys? Is she enabling a man just as monstrous as her father? She will never decide, because Maegelle will guilt her about keeping Gael isolated at Dragonstone, and Alysanne will do as she’s told, just like Rhaena, and Alyssa, and Jeyne, Elinor, Ceryse, Alys, and Tyanna, just like every one of her daughters.

I do get why Alysanne is Alyssa & Aenys’ and not Maegor’s. The weird Targ babies, the line not descending from Visenya, Jaehaerys and Alysanne being held up as the perfect Targaryen couple specifically because they are brother and sister and dragon riders. I do even think canon Alysanne is likely traumatized by her time as a hostage on Dragonstone, and the ensuing war, and the trauma bond that caused with Jaehaerys, and it makes her idolize Jaehaerys, and then he isolates her at Dragonstone so he can swiftly and safely marry, groom, and knock her up. It’s not like,,,, a fun time, and it’s enough to make anyone crazy and weird about their daughters, but I think having her father be Maegor makes Alysanne herself much deeper because it gives her, as the most beloved Targaryen queen, a blood tie to the most hated Targaryen king, and a marriage to the most beloved Targaryen king. It fits better with a lot of the themes of the main series (again, imo) - forcing the spotlight on the outsiders to see how the affect the story from behind the scenes. The fall of Aegon’s sons, and The Long Reign, not told from the PoV or to serve the PoV of any of the kings or princes, but of the queen that tied them all together.

#anti jaehaerys i targaryen #f&b critical #fire and blood critical #asks #thesadboy #like he kind of does this with aenys & maegor by focusing on alyssa and rhaena and the wives and visenya. #but the Moment jaehaerys enters the scene he completely dominates it. the same way daemon and aemond do actually. #but this is not. it should not!! be their story. that’s not how the main series is told anyway!! #if f&b isn’t told by a dornish maester than it should have been written by a septa!!! #nuns wrote books!!!!! #rich noblewomen wrote novels and poetry!!!!!!! #GEORGE DO YOU READ WOMEN. I AM NO LONGER ASKING POLITELY. #i went to look for her mother and apparently this was just a mistake elio made and i’m even more depressed. i can’t believe i’m saying this #but elio damn your mind. #i bet he saw that and went ‘wait which one is her fucjing mother’ and george was like what in the goddamn hell are you talking about. #idk who would be her mother in this au. if we want to keep her within 3 ish years of jaehaerys it Has to be alys or ceryse. ceryse hightowe #is the hilarious and obvious choice. but don’t count out alys harroway second wife here either. #then there’s rhaena as her mother which with the canon timeline makes him 12 years older and isn’t THAT horrible let’s stop here actually.

[coco0milkshake]

Nine! About time I drew him

#my son! (is only like 7 yrs older than him) #sonic prime #nine the fox #tails nine #miles nine prower #sonic prime nine #him and his many tags #ibispaintx #digital art #artwork #my art #as you can see I’ve given up on line art cuz my lines are never straight (and neither am I) #when drawing him I just realized how complex his design is like omg #I struggled #I’m still not over that trailer he’s off his rockers he’s going insane he has done nothing wrong ever cuz I said so #I’m still pissed at sonic for saying that line #when he says ‘he messes with all of us’ does that include the chaos council??? #I hope not they were they literally committed crimes against humanity #the council are only working with them for selfish reasons and are only looking out for themselve #so yeah I am now taking custody of nine because of that line #oh sonic doesn’t want him anymore? ok then mine now #don’t talk to me or my son ever again #sonic prime fanart

[firefly-fez]

we all love the ‘rex calls ahsoka vod’ika, ahsoka calls rex ori’vod’ headcanon and yes, of course, but consider: ‘rex and ahsoka both insist on calling the other vod’ika’ due to a long-standing argument about which one of them is technically older

#the first time rex calls ahsoka vod’ika its more of of habit #he’s half lost in thought and he doesn’t even realise what he’s saying when he says it #until she looks at him with her freaking bambi eyes all touched and he’s just like what. what did i say #and she’s just like…. you called me vod’ika #and hes just like oh uh… is that okay *awkwardly rubs his head* #and she just smiles like ‘i mean i’m OLDER than you’ #and rex is like *relieved* what? no youre not #and ahsoka’s like what are you talking about i was born on shili FOUR YEARS before #and rex interrupys like no no you cant go by natborn years #there are four stages of life: #hatchling #cadet #shiny #and trooper #you were a shiny when we met #and that makes ME older than YOU #ahsoka: ‘that’s ridiculous’ *rolls eyes and they fly off into the galaxy together* #rex wins the argument and therefore gets ori’vod privledges #captain rex #ahsoka tano #star wars clone wars #swtcw #tcw #rex and ahsoka #501st legion #ct7567

[god-of-all-things]

I’m gonna be real, I know people can do what they want with their fanworks and all and I’m not about to sit here and say I have the only valid take on media, far be it from me to confiscate the coffee shop au, but

I feel like the fandom of NPMD woobifies Max Jägerman to a concerning extent and it shows a refusal to engage with the central theme of the text. Nerdy Prudes is first and foremost a text about bullying. It’s very telling that the lords in black don’t actually make an appearance till real late in. It’s supernatural, yes, but that is set dressing. Nerdy Prudes Must Die is a play that says bullying is dangerous to the point of killing people. None of what Max does is suddenly different when he’s a ghost, or at least not to begin with. He wedgies Ruth and swirly’s Richie. He’s explicitly and canonically the same fucking guy he was before he died, and what he’s doing is still killing people because bullying kills.

All those shitposts that woobify Max as just a himbo refuse to acknowledge the fact that the text explicitly says that he and his behaviour is dangerous and violent and destroys people.

I don’t know why that is. Maybe people like the dumb jock trope better because they don’t have to think about the way their behaviour and behaviour they support harms people. Maybe they’re a bullying victim themself who doesn’t want to think about that. Maybe they just don’t care. Maybe theyre the bully and want to validate they did nothing wrong. I don’t know. Really it’s not my business what other people do with their lives. But let me just say

It’s just a joke, he’s just a silly himbo, none of it is serious is just justifying his behaviour, in the same way that real bullies justify harming real people

#motley talks #adventures of the chaotic nb #nerdy prudes must die #starkid npmd #npmd spoilers #npmd max #like okay it’s not that deep and all but this really bothers me #I was once pushed in front of a bus by a school bully when I was 11 #like genuinely pushed in the road as it was driving. I’m fucking lucky it stopped #the kids were 3 years older than me and got no consequences because it was just a joke #bullying is not a fucking punchline #npmd dissects the trauma of being the kid it’s okay to hurt for some arbitrary reason #and you can do what you want and all but I am looking critically at your behaviour

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Can’t believe The Magnus Protocol sprung a reverse The Portrait Of Dorian Gray on me on Ep. 2. This is going to be a ride isn’t it

#just took a long walk and listened to both episodes. I’m gagged #I’ve gone looking for some online art and. am I the only one imagining alice as over 40 at least? #i know Sam’s her ex but like. maybe he’s older than his voice sounds. maybe she’s into toyboys idk #in my mind she has the face of that literary critic from only murders in the building #anyway amazing setup can’t wait for next week I’m already terrified #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol

[kavehater]

I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”

#the same people who would shriek like the witch of the north melting her skin off if I tell you haikaveh / kavetham isn’t implied because #if you actually look into our culture they’re being normal and not everyone having rivalry and caring about each other means they’re 💅 #in fact Arabs are some of the worlds most hospitable people alhaitham letting kaveh live with him #is the most Arab thing I’ve ever seen #heck if kaveh was a stranger it wouldn’t be unusual for an Arab to let him in their house ☠️ #goddamn #“if you look in the internet you can see how they’re implied!🤓☝️” #maybe if you had any respect for my culture or any desire to be educated when I’m handing this to you for free you wouldn’t be your mistake #your mums greatest mistake 🤗🤗🤗* #dora daily #if only ppl dedicated this level of detail to actual culture compared to pulling out their microscope at level 100x magnification lens to #observe robins spots under her eyes the world would be a better place 🙀 #let me tell you btw this whole I hate you meh meh meh ( I’m so in love with you ) trope is the most whitest booktok millennial plant growing #basement dweller nonesense I have ever heard in my life don’t do that to my pookies ☹️ #( the pookies in fact were 11 and 9 years older than her respectively ) #guys my dad is the straightest man alive ( oh the trauma lowkey wish he wasn’t ) and he legit was putting his hand on his best friends lap #LMAOOO even I as a very logical person was like bro this is so zesty rn I am SO uncomfortable #anyways live laugh love boothill x Baizhu they’re the most canon things I’ve ever seen in my life #<- this is a joke btw it’s an ironic ship I saw on tiktok ☠️

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

I am constantly thinking about the complex working of Ghost’s backstory/childhood beyond what was written. Like why he never stood up against his younger brother for scaring him when I know my older sisters would’ve beat my ass if I tried some shit like that

#that wouldn’t have flied #not in my house #not with my sisters #they’re all older than me I’m the youngest #it’s jsut interesting to me looking at complexity of his upbringing #and what it says about him as a person #simon ghost riley #I have thoughts

[heyitsphoenixx]

my mother was genuinely trying to make the argument that people do not fundamentally care about each other’s stories and only care in the ways they can relate their stories to their own experiences and therefore no one should ever try to make new plot lines or share their stories bc it’s all been told before and the only point to you sharing your story is for your own therapy bc no one actually cares and humans aren’t actually pack animals but lone wolves and we keep saying we want to change the world and we could so easily overthrow people in power but bc no one actually cares about each other we don’t do it and just give up. I have never been more certain in my whole life that I am right in saying she could not be more wrong. for the love of god please just share an orange with someone

#this is the same woman who will start yelling at the tv if she can follow the plot that’s coming within the first five mins #and has said before she hates people talking to her and doesn’t care what anyone has to say #like of fucking course you think that!!!! but not everyone has the same brain rot as you!!!! #and if you actually think that’s true in all your fifty years of wisdom from living #then be the fucking exception!!!!! care!!!!!! about something or someone!!!!! #jesus fuck!!!!! #I tried to argue but she gave me a look that was like #‘uh huh but I’m so much older than you I’ve Seen The World I Know better’ #like. the length of your life does not make you more correct than me by default #sorry I’m ranting I’m just like. jfc then fucking care!!!!! do something instead of wallowing in self pity #and saying that you’re just ‘noticing the truth’ instead of being a martyr #anyway. #go hug somebody. lay in the grass in the sun

[puppyeared]

im like one of those childrens mascots except sometimes I will say piss and fuck while in full costume. and then smth like peace and love while smoking in the change room with my tits out

#my point being. sometimes I will just not be conscious of my surroundings and act accordingly #this is funny because I look like a 15 year old and sound like an 11 year old boy who hasn’t hit puberty #ive had coworkers tell me ‘omg I didnt think u could swear😱’ kiddo I am 5 years older than u #i dont think its like im either mature or childish like I can only be one or the other. its a sliding scale #doesnt help that my interests arent typical for my age group. watches nothing but the news and obscure anime and cartoons. eats flintstone #vitamins. doesnt have Twitter and insta is on private etc etc #Although I’m not particularly bothered abt it because I think it’s really funny and don’t take it seriously #I love fucking with ppl abt my age and gender #yapping

[meet-me-in-the-pouringrain]

[not mine]

this is my favourite gif of all time im so in love with her.

#She’s so cute #look at her smile #i’m so done #i’m so gay too #criminal minds #emily prentiss #prentiss #paget brewster #this woman is 54 and that is more than 10 years older than my own mother i don’t even care

[yorshie]

Pea Brained Bounce House time. Was thinking about the earlier Mikey bit. Then I started thinking about Warm Coded. And then:

Raph’s got like. This thing, when you’re working out with him. He uses the cover of coaching you to stare.

It’s not until he’s got you doing chairs against the concrete wall, and you look up in pleading askance on how much longer you’ve gotta hold the position, that you finally catch the way his attention is trained on the swell of your stomach. The uncanny focus of his gaze on your thighs as the muscles start to tremble and seize up.

Raph likes to stare.

#……. hm. is this gonna be a blood orange fic? #are they gonna converge? #looks at the blurple fic I’m already planning. fuck. this might be a blood orange fic #but how would that even work? #Mikey is so much harder to set a boundary with than Leo and Donnie #and what about my head canon of Mikey sneaking into Raph’s bed during nightmares? #I could just see. raph wakes up and readers all against him all warm and cuddly #he goes for the sleepy morning action #but his hand knocks against Mikey’s shell and there’s like the awful dawning realization that his little bro is cock blocking him #cue Mikey waking up cuz you smell all warm and he wants action too #only for the same realization to have th both going >:[ at each other #raph gets up like fuck this I’ll be a good boyfriend I’ll go get breakfast. you want pastries doll? I'll get you fucking pastries #and Mikey’s like fuck that I’ll be a better boyfriend I’m gonna go make homemade juice #and then reader is like. wtf where are my cuddly buddies? Why is everyone so pissy this fine morning? #<- zero clue they are in the middle of a pissing contest #goes to take a morning shower and gets interrupted cuz Mikey doubles back #youngest sibling gotta take advantage of the older one being out and all that #I could just see him all annoyed halfway to the Kitchen before going *wtf am I doing* and backtracking to corner reader in the bathroom #raph drags reader back in his room and closes the door in mikey's face when he gets back with pastries #cuz personal space (nest) privileges and it was cold outside and damn it he's was a good boyfriend he deserves cuddle time #also he didn't get mikey any pastries #proceeds to show reader there's more than one way to enjoy a pastry #……… have to think about this one actually plot poly is hard #raccoon rambles

[otaku553]

Oc 2 electric boogaloo

Moved to procreate so I wouldn’t break goodnotes but I tried my best to recreate the brushes and am not using color picker :p surprised to say I kind of enjoy goodnotes more now that I’m used to the constraints of the program- the per-stroke selection and erasing is kind of really nice for color correction

#more about the ocs since I’m thinking about them #yeah they’re twins #the pink haired is the older and the blue haired is the younger but you probably wouldn’t be able to tell I think #trying to come up with names for them hmmm #I don’t think their relationship is quite as bad as sanemi and genya but similar principle #they both worked really hard to get stronger to a point where they could protect each other #and hate the fact that the other is also doing the same dangerous stuff as them #I think pink is stronger by a tiny bit but thinks that this is only because they work harder than blue #blue has more natural talent as a fighter and both of them know that I think #pink dislikes that blue is effortlessly strong #and thinks that because of this blue doesn’t take things as seriously #but blue does a lot of work #they just do it when people aren’t looking #blue has some pride in that sense— they don’t want to be seen as weak so they never train in front of others #in any case mostly they just have communication issues #they love each other and banter a lot #y’all should send me some character sheets to fill out for them #I think it’d be fun

[whore4batfam]

Bruce put his head in his hands.

"I don't want that," he said, not looking up. "I want you to want to be good, I want you to want to be better. It's not about consequences and punishments. It's about who you are."

#:(((( #i wrote this years and years ago #and now as an older adult it makes me sad and hurts me #when you try so hard and fail so hard #and you’re trying to raise *people* and everything feels like it’s your fault if they’re. well. people. #we seek perfection and for us perfection means ‘better than me’ #be better than me be better than me #and in the meantime children keep saying ‘look at me! look at ME’ #and you say what’s there to look at? you’re so young you have to build yourself. I’m here if you need me #I’m here if you need me why don’t you take my hand #and they don’t see you there and won’t take your hand because that feels like a betrayal #they need to be a person. they NEED to be a person #and if you’re there how can they truly be a person?? #and you understand and you step back and you look at them go #and don’t even wait for the day for them to look back #you just keep praying ‘better than me. better than me’

[dandelionvirus]

I know everyone thinks xehamom is just Skuld recolored and proof she made it to the other side with Ephemer…

But I genuinely think we’re gonna find out she’s Brain’s kid. And Eraqus and Xehanort are brothers. Or maybe cousins if Brain had multiple.

The parallels to Xehanort and Baldr have been there.

#even tho xeha is older than era if I’m right #but #brain #khdr #khux #khml #honestly I don’t think Skuld and xehamom look that much alike #same hair color oh noooo #y’all are reaching #and so am I #lmao