#I’ve been angry and sad and angry and sad

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Brand New One Shot - Second Preview

I cooked a little :3c

Warning for masturbation!

You made your way up to his tower, replaying the scene in the lobby over and over in your head. Things were going well, weren’t they? He seemed so apologetic when you told him how you felt. And then he just…disappeared like he always does. You really didn’t mean to push the issue, but perhaps you came on a little strong. Plus your rescue of him was a little more than awkward. Not that you minded the closeness, even if it was fleeting. The picture of his head resting against your chest flashed in your mind repeatedly. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks once more as you were now mere steps from Lucifer’s door.

Focus, you mentally scolded yourself, can’t think about that. It was an accident! It won’t happen again so just…focus. No wonder he ran!

You stood in front of his door now, your knees somehow weaker than they were a moment ago. Those mental images really didn’t help at all. With a deep inhale, you went to knock, but you stopped short when you heard something from beyond the door. You heard your name.

What?, you thought, How…How did he know I was here? Lucifer didn’t sound angry fortunately, but the inflection in his voice made him sound almost sad. And…breathless? You cracked open the door slowly, a little embarrassed at being caught. You went to open your mouth to apologize for the intrusion, but not even a whisper left your lips. Because what you saw in that room left you completely and utterly frozen where you stood.

Lucifer, the great ruler of Hell, was propped up against the obscene amount of pillows on his bed with his pants pooled at his ankles, his very much erect dick in his hand. His eyes were shut, he hadn’t seen you catch him in this extremely vulnerable state.

Run, run, run, RUN! your mind screamed. Everything in your brain was telling you to shut that door and get out of there as fast as you could. But your body refused to react, you remained motionless. You were completely entranced by the scene before you. You watched as Lucifer stroked his cock, mumbling a number of curse words with your name leaving his lips like a prayer.

“Hnng, G-God damn it-ffffuuuccckk….” Lucifer mumbled, his hand gradually picking up the pace as he stoked his shaft.

You tried to wrap your head around what you were seeing, but you were coming up blank. You couldn't believe this. He’s…He’s touching himself…to me?!? How is this…? Why would he…? Your brain was a jumbled mess at this point. It was really beyond your comprehension. You felt tension pool in your stomach at the sight of him becoming undone at the mere thought of you. The sinful sounds he was making went straight between your thighs, to the point where it became uncomfortable that you weren’t giving yourself any attention. The tiniest bit of you wanted to push open that door and give him what he really desired. But before you even begin to think about acting on your carnal instincts, you watched Lucifer's hips bucked up as he came all over his hand. It took every fiber of your being to hold in a whimper that threatened to escape your throat.

Lucifer’s breathing was labored, you watched him toss his arm over his eyes and throw his head back on the pillows. "What the hell is wrong with me?!" you heard him ask. "Why am I doing this?! It’s been months now and I’ve barely had a normal conversation with her! And of course the only time I’ve really talked to her was after my damn head was forced against her…her…s-shit.” He waved his hand, a tissue appearing between his fingers. You watched as he cleaned himself up, thankful that he still hadn’t looked towards his door. Lucifer kicked himself out of his pant and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his head hanging low. “And what an absolutely fantastic exit I made! “Sorry, gotta go! My dick is hard as a rock right now because of you!” Great job, Lucifer! No wonder she thinks I don’t want her here!” He sighed heavily. “I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t right. I need to stop being a coward and just tell her how she makes me feel…”

A small gasp escaped your lips. Fuck.

Lucifer's head shot up immediately, his panicked eyes fixating on the door. You didn't even close it behind you as you took off sprinting down the hall, praying to anyone who could hear you that he didn't see you. You didn’t stop running til you made it back to your room, slamming the door behind you. Your knees gave out from under you as you dropped to the floor. In that second, it all clicked for you. Why Lucifer seemed to avoid you at every turn, why he tripped over his words when he spoke to you, and why he practically begged you not to leave the hotel.

Lucifer liked you. Lucifer really liked you. That thought alone could have made you scream if you weren’t trying desperately to hold yourself together. And it’s not like you didn’t have passing thoughts about him. He was gorgeous, after all. But not only that, you saw how he acted with the others at the hotel. He was sweet, and silly, and fun, even though you never got to experience it first hand. Now you knew where Charlie had gotten it from.

But of course those thoughts never stayed. He didn’t like you, right? So instead of wallowing in what could never be, you thought it best not to dwell. But now…now those thoughts were coming back in full force. The aching between your legs only grew as the very fresh images of Lucifer naked and moaning in his bed flooded your mind.

There was a knock at the door.

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer smut #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #BLUE BALL CITY BABY #I wanna post the full thing this weekend hopefully #my writing

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: Divorce, addiction

It was a Friday, October 13th to be exact. Daniel and I are getting a divorce today. After weeks, he finally signed the divorce papers. I was devastated. It was so hard for me to take this step. But I had to finish it, for my Baby and also for myself, to finally forget Daniel. We met near the city hall, where we had an appointment with a divorce-case officer and judge.

Once there, I saw Daniel coming towards me. I honestly didn’t want to divorce him. I loved him, still, so much. 😥But... that's just the way life is. 😞... He looked at me... I wanted to hug him but instead I just said sadly, hi. Daniel seemed absent for a moment, staring at my belly. 🩵👶

He had this... empty look. Not sad or angry, rather.... emotionless.

With my eyes lowered, I just stood there. I struggled to hold back my tears. Exactly a year ago we moved together. I was so happy with him and now this. 😞

Me: I'm so sorry. I never wanted this! And I still don’t want it. I wish we could just go home together.

Daniel: Same, but...let's not get into that now. Relax and think about your Baby.

Me: What?

Daniel: It's gonna be okay. Trust me.... C'mon, let’s get this over with.

Me: Yea,,...whatever you say. 😞

Um.... well! Daniel and I didn’t get divorced today. The judge asked us why we wanted to divorce? D.'s & my statements left some question marks with the judge, I think? We have to wait six months, before we get divorced.... Daniel said that my jealousy (Tina, Irma...) & insecurity were the biggest probs for him in our relationship.😠... However, the real reason for postponing our divorce was bcs Daniel inherited Dominick’s plot & house. (division of property) Although I refused any claim to Daniel’s property!!

Me: Did you really, seriously mean what you said to them?

Daniel: I answered all questions honestly.

Me: Why didn’t you just give the real reason for our divorce? You took off!!! I didn't know where you were!! And my Baby isn't yours. This fact is the reason for our divorce! You can't handle that I'm pregnant. Or that we are both addicts, which would have been a good reason why we can’t stay together! 🤦‍♀️

Daniel: The juge asked me WHY, I left! You got it?.... You and my borther, your secrets drove me crazy. That fucking shit about Tina. I was overwhelmed with my shit, our drugs you and your delusions. I kept trying to make you happy! I only loved you and I only wanted you. But you just didn’t believe me. Be honest, it wasn’t my fault, just yours!! You don’t know what you want! And you can’t make decisions! But I’m not like N.! I don’t want to tell you what to do or how to live your life. You are responsible for yourself! Finally get it, or just stay with your soccer player and let him control you.

Me: What kind of shit are you talking?? Nico doesn’t do any of this to me.

Daniel: I talked to him! He said, you won’t be the same after he’s done with you. He told me this to my face!! And btw, I can’t stand Alex calling you Lexi!! 😠

Me: You must have misunderstood N. He isn't like that! He was just upset, bcs I confessed what I wanted from you the other day. Besides, you’re jealous too!!! Anyway.... I-.. I just can’t stand it around you anymore. And I’m sorry I was so jealous. I loved you so much. I wanted to do anything for you. I was terrified to lose you. I’m sorry. Sorry I was such a freak to you. But I didn’t do anything wrong with your brother, D.!! There was NOTHING between Alex and me!! IDK how many times I’ve had to say this damn sentence. Finally get it!....

Me: It hurts so much and it just doesn’t stop.... I don’t want to love you anymore. I wish you’d never married me. 😢

Daniel: Damn, I-... I'm sorry. I still struggle with that... stress disorder. Either I feel nothing-... or I boil with rage.🤦‍♂️

Me: It's ok.. I'm leaving.... See you in 6 moths. And.. stay off drugs, just... take care, Daniel. 😢

Daniel: Wait!

Me: I gotta go. Sorry. Bye!.... 😭

Daniel: I-...... love you.

I just wanted to get away from there. Far away from.... him.💔 Not really, but.... agh, you know what I mean. And I’ll see Daniel again sooner than I thought. Right after delivery. It was about that annoying name change. D. and I were officially still married, but I didn't want to give my Son his surname. D. is not his Dad, but N. Such a mess!!

Previous/Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #myrlgameplay #cw divorce #ts4 story

[rollingwiththedead]

This MOTHERFUVKER

#this fucker #this absolute doorknob of a man #this man????????????????? #I met guy on bumble. went out a few times. I was super feeling it. he called it off #I sent a pathetic message 😅😅😅 #I’ve been angry and sad and angry and sad #I got wasted on trulystonight #drunk swiping through tinder #HE pops up #I swipe right #WE MATCHHHHHH #I assume it’s an old swipe from him and the algorithm just didn’t bring him to me for a while #but STILLLLLLLLL #this motherfucker

[laniemae]

Just gonna say it again- I really hate when people flanderise John to just some “always angry guy” who’s always bitchy but actually an uwu tsundere. Like seriously John in canon is a lot more stoic and composed yet EVERY fan content I see of him has him be constantly angry and hot headed like he’s Fuuta! And it makes me upset because I really love John and he’s probably the most flanderised character I’ve seen so far ever and just. Ugh I want people to properly understand him instead having him be a ship tool.

#milgram #mikoto kayano #John kayano #john milgram #like please let him be an actual person instead of just a tsundere! #I elaborated on this in a tag rant not too long ago but I really feel like it’s mido’s fault #Like before double people always thought that John was the angry one and mido existed and he was the stoic one #But now we’ve got more characterisation for John people still haven’t dropped the thing of him being hotheaded and just #Basically having him be a flat archetype and mido be the stoic one and like #I still really don’t like mido and how his involvement always flanderises John (and mikoto to an extent) #And his fans are so pushy about him being canon it’s just aughh #it’s sad as lots of mikoto (and especially john) fans I see don’t actually like them who who they actually are in canon #But for this distorted perception of them by fanon #I just needed to let this off my chest this thing has been annoying me forever #I guess I’ve always felt iffy as having mikoto and John as some of my favorites and I guess since I focus more on their actual canon selves #This is why I’ve always felt weird about my love for them as I just feel like what people’s ideas of them are just completely different #I just want people to understand this

[audino]

very interesting but very very sad that my two biggest school bullies both turned out to be lesbians

#obv not excusing what they did to me #but they must have really hated themselves and the world #i’m so happy for them now #for context i’ve been out since i understood what sexuality is #and i guess that made them sad and angry #bun txt

[tundrakatiebean]

Going to go to the modeling session today without makeup for the first time. She is serving bags, inflamed eye skin, and exhaustion but she still cute ✌🏻

#Katie is rambling 2k24 #mah face #she is also serving frizzy hair but that’s normal lol #my skin is big angry at me #I think just because I’ve been tired and sad #so I’ve been crying and rubbing my eyes a bunch this week #I’m fine just dealing with The Horrors

[logically-asexual]

i genuinely need to be kept away from society

it’s kinda concerning how quick i am to turn depression from an upsetting day into anger towards anyone i have to interact with.

#im grading and just constantly seething at everything these people do #vent #i’m SO ANGRY #and i KNOW it’s because i’ve been sad all day #BUT knowing that doesn’t help me let go of it

[shima-draws]

I’m really torn with what I want to see happen in the epilogue miniseries…on one hand getting a timeskip and seeing Ash grown up would be really interesting. On the other hand sometimes timeskips are cheesy and if they confirm any Ash-centric ships as canon I will riot. Yes I know I’m all about shipping but HONESTLY I would much rather them leave that aspect of Ash’s life ambiguous;; I really like the idea of Ash’s story arc being a “never-ending journey” kind of thing. So that viewers can just…interpret what happens to him in their own way rather than having it be outright stated. And this kid can go on adventures forever because there’s not a solid ending to his storyline

#Basically what I’m hinting at—I’m gonna say it outright here. #If they confirm Amo//shipping as canon I’m going to be so fucking angry. I’m going to lose my mind entirely #Please please PLEASE anything but that. I’d even be fine with Pokeshipping #Anyway that’s my one (1) fear for this #Shima speaks #Pokemon #Pokeani #Ash Ketchum #Satoshi #Honestly tho I’m kinda shocked I’m not more sad about this? #I mean it’s definitely very bittersweet. #I grew up watching Pokemon and watching Ash grow as a person #This kid has been around for as long as I’ve been alive!! That is Insane #Feels like a chapter of my life is ending. Idk how to emotionally process lol #I’m sure once the epilogue hits and I watch it I’ll be sobbing like a fucking baby #But for now I’m just kinda. Yeah. This is good. Good for him

[foxgloveinspace]

What a fucking roller coaster of a weekend/week start.

My accordion is unplayable, and it’d be much more expensive to get it repaired then to buy a new one, and I can’t fix it cause I’m scared I’d break it instead.

#very much so #I had a good cry about it already. it’s been awhile since I’ve cried cause I was sad and not cause I was angry. #I’m not sad cause the accordion is unplayable…. well I am a bit… I’m mostly sad cause I wanted to play my grandma’s accordion. #the bass buttons are stuck. and it’s such an old model that it’s not just the kind that #screws together. it’s the kind that has tiny nails in it. so if I where to try and fix it. I’d end up braking it trying to get it back #together… so yeah. I’m pretty fucking sad tonight.

[landfilloftrash]

the general consensus I feel like.

#Star Trek #Star Trek PIC #Star Madness (across the universe) #Q Star Trek #sorry I’ve been Extremely mentally ill about him for the past few days and got angry/sad about the way they treated him in S2 #*more than usual anyways #no explanation or assurance of what was happening to him or even plain old concern #or if the Q continuum itself was sick and he was the last one standing “I am dying alone’’ #just. nothing. #all these references in s3 and yet. #don’t get me wrong I love character death it is right up my angst goblin alley but.. explanations. they all have explanations. #and unless S3 episode 9 (Vox) or the 10th episode (somewhere I saw it called ‘The Last Generation’ and girl please *tired and sad*) does #ANYTHING regarding that i don’t think we’ll get one #and I got really achy in my chest about it (so much so I got my stress heart palpitations so I had to lie down) so have a lighthearted meme #sorry #rea rambles in the tags #shut up rea #rea’s trash

[htylmg]

oh tsats the book you could have been………

#tsats #the sun and the star #tsats crit #anti tsats #no hazel no reyna no fucking plot #i’ve talked abt this extensively but still. sigh #goodbye goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky etc #it’s been a few weeks now and honestly im more sad than angry #this book had so so much potential but it just threw it all away and for what. for what #it’s so much harder when you grow up w rick’s writing and just see the state that this universe is in now…… #and can some of y’all stop being so quick to label every criticism as homophobia?? #im queer myself and it’s just a shitty book no getting past it #i was actually really pumped for the queer rep but the weird pretentious wattpad-esque writing just… threw me off severely #im not saying the rrverse was fantastic at queer rep before but this book smashed any further ideas to pieces to do uhhhh absolutely nothing #im just… sick of it lol #🐋.txt

[akkivee]

‘this bond will last for eternity. i won’t tolerate betrayals or running away.’

——

so speaking of kuukou probably has attachment issues in the form of being too attached, he has this arb line lmao

i revisited the kiyohime legend, and in some iterations of the legend, she specifically turns into a dragon of rage after she tried to cross a river and died to follow someone she loved who promised her he’d stay by her side, but only did so in order to escape her. makes me think this legend really is kuukou’s blueprint lol 🤔

#vee queued to fill the void #my brain has so much going on about kuukou lol if it feels like i’ve been talking in circles you’re right!!!!! #i’m circling around a kuukou topic i have so many bits and pieces to but can’t concretely piece them together so i’m super focused on it lo #like point of interest for this thought are: #kuukou relating to the mc in arb main story because his mentor left without a word #and maybe not so oddly enough but kuukou consoling hitoya to let the anger go #like yeah arb isn’t canon but it’s a story based on what canon has to offer #which means kuukou again relates to people who’ve been left behind because it’s core to his character (despite him not talking about it lol #it’s been a VERY long while since i said kuukou sometimes doesn’t put the money where his mouth is lol #but i wonder if him preaching to hitoya to move on is contradictory to what he’s keeping to himself #mr ‘you’re not allowed to leave me or betray me we are forever’ lol #is bat’s brand of codependency about to fck me up lmao #this looks like a festering sadness and anger towards someone that deeply hurt him by leaving and refuses to go thru it again #lol kinda relatedly i am so amused that kuukou’s fursona might be because he vibed with a story of an angry lady’s lovesickness #kuukou looked at this angry dragon lady and said kin LMAO #c: kuukou👑

[ana-snz]

One of my weird ME symptoms is this strange vagal-y response that makes me feel like I’m gonna pass out and I get this really weird pressure feeling all up throughout my chest and behind my face but then I just sneeze. What the fuck is that!! I mean thanks for the sneeze but Jesus Christ something is heavily malfunctioning in there. It happened like 3 times yesterday and I thought I was fucking dying

#snzblr #self obs #snz kink #this is kinda snz but also just kind of a rant because I’ve been crashing so hard this week and I’m really sad and angry abt it :) #would love to have an iota of predictability or normalcy to my symptoms but it rly just feels like shit is malfunctioning constantly

[x-ladydisdain-x]

yeah

#I’ve been diagnosed with sad emo pop punk scene rock spooky angry angst heartbroken #sometimes opal says stuff

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void #shits rough dawg #I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts #haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier #it’s cold #saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early. #and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed. #went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours #guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left #even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are #I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh #my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week #maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done. #I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting #woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside #hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning #can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding) #actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so… #I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience #anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments #I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired. #I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die. #is this relatable? #just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda. #gonna look at pictures of butts now #ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever #you can ignore this #text

[ascendantmarv]

me when i make a joke and then someone doesn’t react the way i hoped they would so i panic and say something i regret and they just think i’m an idiot 🫠🫠

#i need the angry laughing reaction from the server #anyway i’ve been thinking abt this all day #super sad abt it tbh