#I'm not necessarily angry

[skinnypaleangryperson]

I was more entertained by the two seconds of the preview for next week's episode than the entirety of this one. I am not, however, going to buy into their meat hanging teasing that it's going to be something that's serialized. 🤡 We all know that's their favorite thing to do and then not do it. (No, I'm not crying about it, just stating a fact).

#rick and morty #Yes I am complaining #suicide is such an overplayed concept for me because I literally have to fight not to do it everyday #and am part of an s support group of just people doing it all day long and used to work at the ER #I'm not necessarily angry #just not amused etc #I am exhausted by this generation #It's so desensitized to everything #My parents barely even know what suicide even is

[front-facing-pokemon]

#metagross #bonus angle under the cut because i didn't even know this thing had a mouth #TPC knew when they named this thing… they even put “meta” in its name… #i always used to pronounce this “meta–grahhss.” but i've also been told multiple times that it's “meta-grohhss.” don't like that #like the word “gross.” they're not gross..! they're strong competitively or whatever..! yeah this is never a pokémon i cared about #some folks only care about pokémon for their competitive viability but that just is not a factor for me when determining pokémon i like #i do like how the X on their face goes over their eyes to make them look angry from practically every angle. i think that's a nice touch #and steel/psychic is rather cool. but i still don't know what this thing is supposed to be. though again i guess there's something to be #said for a pokémon that isn't necessarily Based off anything and is just its own creature. i think there's gotta be at least a few of those #out there‚ innit? i thought the trapinch line was but. lo and behold i guess. maybe they're all based off something and i'm just wrong

[aquilamage]

I haven’t been insane about Vi enough lately so time to pour out some random thoughts. free association thinking time:

been thinking about her “It's my savings. I wanna be rich, okay? So I can travel, eat well, buy cool stuff… So no one can say I can't do something!” And none of the following will really be insightful or revelatory because it’s just what she says here but. yeah! that’s vi! the main reason she’s so big on money is because she has to be to get what she wants out of life! it’s what lets her say no to people telling her what to do, and that’s important to her because she has no choice but to be independent and support herself. because no one else will. No one at the Hive had anything positive or supportive to say about her being an explorer until she went out and did it (to a ridiculously successful degree, too. I have to wonder if/how it might’ve differed if she was on a regular accomplishment level team. not the one leading them all to the mission to the Hive). she never had a choice not to be. I could also see that being a little part of why she starts out not really being a teamwork person. past experiences have taught her she can’t rely on anyone else for support. (does make me wonder about what if she’d met Chubee before leaving the Hive. obviously she still would’ve left, but how might even a bit of support have changed other things?)

I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that The Beemerang Is Also Knives enough

ok so at one point there was this post talking about people with money and how it affects their life like. if you can afford to get a nanny then you can only do the fun parts of childcare and when you stop feeling like taking care of the kid you can just hand them to someone else to take them away. and again likely not especially revelatory but I would guess that’s the kind of way queen bianca handled the bees as her daughters (she does care about them. absolutely. but not in the same hands-on attached way as we usually associate with parents) and thinking about how that kind of treatment would then apply to vi....hm

in universes where discussions of Gender and Pronouns etc happen I think she has moments where she gets frustrated with the everything of Being Referred To and Having Complicated Identity She Hasn’t Quite Figured Yet and is like. gender is cancelled how dare you refer to me. but especially anyone else calls me a girl ever i will be stabbing them

also I think a lot about what circumstances she finds out about gayness/Gender being things. and whether she’s thought about it in herself before and whether she’d been dismissed on it/told it wasn’t a thing etc. most circumstances she ends up angry about the finding out times because of (un)consicious internal conflict stuff

underground tavern stuff implies she was definitely doing quests and stuff for money with them precanon. would kill to know what specifically it was. but also the first talk with utter implies that she was doing stuff off that questboard as well which is even more intriguing. utter’s spy also implies you don’t have to be an explorer to do them but otherwise you would think you did I feel. so again very curious what was up there

#inspired by that girl blorbos post and also me trying to think about where in the game they drop facts and such about precanon stuff w her #the urge to try and fic about the stuff between her leaving the hive and showing up at the association....strong again #'the hive didn't do anything' my ass. vi might have also been a jerk but it's just that she was the more obvious #easily labeled incident version of it. she was active while her treatment was the subtle passive neglect type of bad treatment #complex situation and also. yeah #an aquila original #vi bug fables #bug fables #also featuring funky gender lesbian stuff because thats not even headcanon. to me #hopefully the reasoning out stuff doesn't just come out like a load of nonsense #vi's one of those characters where I definitely feel comfortable in writing her on a basic level but some parts I'm super insecure about #and the part with her is in really capturing the complexities of her backstory and family issues #and the thing is it's like. I have to remind myself that some parts of how canon did her on that are actually decent #and I should pay attention to those complexities. but then also canon definitely did some of their 'this hasn't really been earned' #resolution stuff on her. mostly thinking about the postcanon dialogue with Bianca. it's jsut too much of a jump for that for me #and it's not even that I necessarily think bianca's dialogue is out of character. it's that I'm contemplating whether it would've #made more sense for vi to get angry about it. like. #ok so. sometimes i think about what coming out to my family might be like. and I've come to the conclusion that if they were just accepting #despite the fact that it would be best case scenario I'd be angry about it. because they've said some shitty stuff in the past. in general #they've made me feel unsafe about myself. so no actually you don't get to just suddenly be chill about it now fuck you. #it doesn't change the past hurts #and I could see Vi being like that too. even if part of her is happy about getting what she wanted to start with she's pissed about #only getting it now. with a side helping of also wondering if the approval /now/ is only because she's been so successful about it #what if she hadn't been so specially favored by elizant? what if she hadn't been on the team that saved the world? why did she (maybe) have #to earn the approval she should've had from the start? #also not gonna get into this one right now but tweaking her story with jaune to acknowledge that theyre both at fault in different ways #(again). would be nice #but now I'm definitely veering into repeating myself type rambling territory so

[sysig]

Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #Just a bit but y'know - Enough #It honestly made me So sad that it took until his canonmates saw it happen that someone /finally/ acknowledged his spontaneous cuts D: #Like I get it it's dark and it's hard to see but his skin just opened up and he made a noise about it! The possible danger!! #And then by that point he's just so used to everyone ignoring it that their concern for him is barely even a factor weh ZEX ;; #Plus it's just a cool effect haha - sudden blood from nothing! Very rich mental movement #At least Max had someone concerned for him about it <3 Not that he could do anything about it but even just the validation of seeing it! #He has enough cuts on him :( Poor tenderized flesh #He gets all crabby from being sore from healing constantly haha :'D Of course he would! #One thing I found very interesting was the scar sidedness :0 Most of the examples in the gallery have his scar and missing eye opposite #But that's not necessarily the case! I actually scoured mid-read and there /are/ a couple instances of matching side! #They're very tiny so I overlooked them upon first viewing hehe ♪ But they're there! It's very interesting to me! #I like the aesthetics of the opposite - probably because I'm more used to it lol - but I can see the appeal and reasoning for the other way #I do honestly enjoy how much is open to interpretation and allowance uwu♪ And what's consistent! Like how it's always his right eye :D #That tracks hehe ♫ #Haha his meeting with his delightfully inept counselor - I'm pretty sure I was actually more angry about his supposed injury than he was #He chilled out pretty quickly while I was just - A Scratched Cornea??? The disrespect!! #So happy with his eyebrow expression on that one as well ah <3 #It really does make me curious for how the staff is kept there - they don't /seem/ malicious during the day! But they're also unaware #It's interesting where the lines of reality are between everyone :D Very interesting ♪ #Capping off with another song my playlist is looking quite healthy now hehe #Flagpole Sitta is one of those songs that only comes up for me every half dozen years or so but when it Does - phewph #It is /such/ a ZEX song to me now hehe <3 The flirtiness and exasperation - the defeatism even! So many killer lines #I think my favourite is ''I'm not sick but I'm not well'' ask me to read into that I will I'm gonna I'll do it even if you don't ask me lol #So fun to draw those lapses in control the poor dear ♥ #The digital reconstruction there was a lot of fun as well actually :D I think I nailed it :3 Pulled around from all over the page! Pleased ♪

[feedingicetothedog]

was talking w a friend about this last night and i think another reason i feel that s3 should combine tvl and qotd is bc i want an actual dynamic between louis and gabrielle. like i've only read the first 3 books in their entirety but the fact that louis and gabrielle spent most of qotd and we don't really get any idea what they think about each other or anything is a crime. and like having gabrielle reveal parts of lestat's past to louis i think continues those threads of a story belonging to whoever tells it and the way gabrielle sees lestat is different from the way louis sees him and how lestat sees himself and the "true" version (if such a thing can exist) lies in the gestalt of all of those things. like a parent sees their child differently than they see themself and a spouse would also have their own perspective. but then bc of how fucked lestat and gabrielle's whole thing is, the lines between parent/child and lover begin to bleed into each other in a similar way that louis and lestat's relationship also has that overlap between spouses and sire/progeny that i think the show has already shown interest in examining in a very compelling way. i think it makes more sense too bc s1 and apparently s2 are incorporating the relevant parts of tvl already so it makes sense to not wholly dedicate a season to a single book going forward (esp bc a lot of these books don't have full plots that are worth adapting lmao)

#louis and gabrielle having an actual dynamic is so important to me bc it would be actually insane #and i'm so angry that the only reason they don't in the books is bc anne didn't like those characters and didn't feel like writing them #but the show obviously loves louis and is interested in exploring his psyche so i hope they keep it up w this and add more layers #and i think there are multiple instances in the series of doubling that are never explored in any meaningful way that the show could- #do a great job w and further the social commentaries they're making in the show #anyway i don't really like speculating on further seasons before the newest one is out but it came up last night and now i'm hoping this is #where they go w it (esp if they do choose to introduce gabrielle in s2 which i don't necessarily think they should) #vampterview

[arodrwho]

that pathologizing/humanizing post and all the discourse surrounding it is driving me batty if i never see it again it'll be too soon. post block time

#like listen. there is value in translating your symptoms for people who don't have your disorders #there is value in saying 'hey i'm feeling overwhelmed right now' vs 'hey i'm having a sensory overload' #most people understand 'overwhelmed' even if they have never heard of sensory issues #there is value in saying 'i had a knee jerk reaction and felt attacked and overwhelmed and thats why i snapped at you' vs 'i have rsd' #most people understand feeling attacked and angry and upset even if they have never heard of rsd #however i do not think 'humanizing' is the correct word for the act of making that translation #and i dont think its necessarily pathologizing to say 'i had sensory overload' or 'that was emotional dysregulation' #thats just using precise words for things. sort of nd jargon u know #which isnt the simplest way to explain to like. a layperson #and as for the idea that we should apologize rather than explaining our symptoms...like. yeah dude. it is possible to do both #you can take responsibility for snapping at someone and explain why you did in the same breath. it's just easier again if u translate #anyway. fuck that post and its rebuttals. im tired

[20w14a]

Do Unto Others by MSI gives me Elquackity vibes while Pt. 2 gives me Quackity vibes.

#qsmp #qsmp quackity #qsmp elquackity #elq act very holier than thou like the song #not necessarily in a moral scene but he just overall thinks he's superior/right and will try to do so in any means necessary #even manipulating people and do questionable mysterious things like kidnapping an egg etc etc. #the first verse feel so heavily elq to me because of the whole “jealousy” connotations the singer clearly has with “it should've been me” #elq goes a lot into how he IS quackity and will straight up deny anyone/become angry if someone says so otherwise #the phrase "do unto others' has heavy religious connotations but feels very displeased/livid when spoken throughout the song #steadily ramping up until it feels like a rage filled repetitive shout #the phrase means treat others how u want to be treated #but in both elq and q mind it would be the opposite bc in elq eyes the islanders/eggs wronged him while for q the federation did #“You did it unto me / And now I'm doin' it unto you” is very quackity-esque #he took his frustration of the federation out on fred and tubbo #calling tubbo a rat and kidnapping fred #the fact part 2 feels all jumbled and the words are breaking here and there is very quackity-esque after the fed brought him back #idk know why but q/elq with religious imagery is something neat to me i think its bc of the cross necklace/federation giving a certain vibe #sorry for tag rambling id rather not put in the actual post #/seed

[vergina-spva]

I live for Kid being a big bad pirate, except for when it comes to Killer. Then he’s a big softie ❤

#eustass kid #killer one piece #one piece #kidkiller #I mean not necessarily romantically #either romantic or platonic these two share a deep bond #Kid just doesn't care about his image anymore when it comes to Killer #I bet Killer makes fun of him in front of their crew regularly because he knows Kid can't really get angry at him #someone else on the crew might have gotten the idea that they could get away with it too but Kid made sure everyone knew they couldn't #that's a Killer only right #Eustass 'I'm a big bad pirate captain' Kid #bawling his eyes out when his best friend is hurt #oh man I just love these two so much #they would die for each other without hesitation #After a day of big bad pirating Kid needs cuddles from Killer #you can't change my mind #random thoughts

[the-force-awakens]

the sequel trilogy is always going to be important to me, and will remain in my mind the best, because of the themes it holds, and the heart it has. it really embodies the moment in rotj, when luke throws away his lightsaber in the face of unimaginable evil, refusing to sink to that level, imo. because every character is so angry, so hurt and so traumatized, and they have every right to be! but it's not enough, and burning yourself out to fight isn't enough either, you have to work towards something - something kind, something good, and you have to want to live for it - that you SHOULD live for it, because otherwise why are you fighting? That you have the power to make what you've been through, matter. It says that you can act on the best information you have, and still fail and still hurt the people you love the most, and you'll have to carry that for the rest of your life, but it's okay because you can do better. you just have to allow yourself the grace of forgiving yourself so you can move forward. it says failure happens to us all, but there's always tomorrow, and you can try again. that you're strong, not weak, for offering your heart to people, for seeing the best in them, but it also reminds you that if they won't change themselves, you have to accept it and take care of yourself, and choose the people that will choose you. It says that trust is what holds us together, and if you can't forge trust with each other, then things will fall apart, no matter how good intentioned you may be, and that you can't lose sight of the people around you no matter how hyperfixated on a goal you may be, because that has its own cost too. And most of all, it says that you're not alone - that there are others who care. It says that you're not that different from the person who made all the wrong choices, and it forces you to confront and accept that you, too, could make all the wrong choices. and it says that you ultimately have the choice to choose your family and what you stand for — for good or for bad.

it's a story about belonging and forgiveness and kindness and how the sun will rise and they will try again the next day, and that's why it's my favorite story in the whole world: because it's kind.

#nym speaks #it's maybe one of the only stories that goes 'yes you're angry. i know. you didn't deserve this. but you cant let your anger extinguish #/you/' #i really think all the reasons i love it is also why people shy away from it #i think these movies would have benefited from not coming out in such an online world as well #ugh. i just. love them sm #rey being so angry in tros is a /bad thing/ #and she is at her best not when she is fighting with a lightsaber #but when she is offering her compassion to people #even those who don't necessarily deserve it #because what is deserve anyway? #these movies are. so integral to who i am I'm not even joking #i am who i am because of them but they are also a reflection of who i already was

[ben10appreciation]

Anyone else wish there was an episode where Ben just snapped at Azmuth for some of his BS? Or is it just me?

dude. the amount of times i WISH ben snapped. like... even setting aside azmuth’s and ben’s relationship, i wish azmuth was snapped at by someone.

he’s the smartest being in the universe, blah blah blah, and yeah he’s got his own issues (namely the horrible, crushing weight of being smart enough to understand how truly meaningless both life and existence is. like damn, albedo instantly lost ALL will to fight as soon as he had azmuth’s intellect), but that’s no excuse for how he treats others. just like all toxic actions, there’s plenty of reasons for it, but no matter how heartbreaking they are, that’s all they are—reasons. they can never stand in as an apology and NEVER an excuse.

though i admit that that’s half the reason i enjoy azmuth as a character. of course i don’t condone his actions and he’s high key a piece of shit, but he’s fascinating as a character. as the smartest being in the universe, it’s easy to take advantage of others and throw around your “weight.” it’s probably even easier to be toxic, because knowing that everyone around you is dumber than you? knowing that you’re better than them on a chemical level?

that’s not healthy.

i got a bit off-track from the ask, but someone needs to snap at azmuth to get his shit together, and azmuth needs to get that log out of his ass and get some therapy. he owes a lot of people a lot of apologies.

#ben 10 #azmuth #rambling #idk i'm no therapist myself #but i can see clear reasons behind pretty much every single action azmuth takes #he's an angry and bitter old man who's lost everything and doesn't... necessarily want to live any longer than he has to #none of his actions are excusable but i absolutely understand #he's a fascinating character that gets a lot of hate #i think i'd just like i more people looked a little deeper into why he is the way that he is #tho it Has been years since ive watched the show. i doubt i remember the intricacies of the situation that well lmao #also sorry anon #you probably wanted this to open into a discussion but instead you got a thought dump haha

[inaris-mage-of-storms]

My mom occasionally sending me those sparkly "to my daughter you're so strong I love you forever" Facebook posts when I was closeted was one thing. Like okay, yeah, the constant reminders of how I'm seen are a little uncomfortable, but whatever, she means well, it's kind of cute.

Getting one several years after coming out as a trans man and having multiple conversations about it? It uh

It hits a little different.

#thanks for the reminder that 'love' and 'respect' don't necessarily go hand in hand i guess #file: storm has thoughts #...a great deal of them actually but I'm too exhausted to articulate any of them rn #i'm not even angry about shit like this these days i'm just #sad mostly

[falsegrailwar]

If you were on Tumblr as a teenager in the 2010s and now have a suffocating fear that your interests will be used to paint you as a bad person and any criticism against them, no matter how fair or justified they are, is a personal attack on and/or judgement of your character, you may be entitled to financial compensation

#pr/oshippers hp fans and a/o/t fans dni this post is not for you #this is about me seeing a huge post abt limbus being gacha undermining projmoon's anticapitalist themes and my night being ruined by it #like yeah you're not WRONG necessarily but now i feel defensive and angry and also upset at myself for feeling that way #because that's the game i like and if people think it's doing A Bad then surely they must think I'M doing A Bad by playing it

[haarute]

i'm sorry but as someone who is always trying to understand most things and most people, the reaction a lot of folks have of immediately dismissing something or jumping to an outrage without having a second to try to reflect on a situation or process empathy is something that i will never relate to and i consider to be a bad mentality to have if left unchecked actually

#not a response to any specific situations that might or might not be the topic of conversation today on tumblr dot com #it's just a general thought that i always have. #and i tend to unfollow people for this sometimes lmao sorry. it just makes me uncomfortable. and i see it frequently. #i've said this before but #i feel like often you can kinda see who has had life experiences that were unfair to them and being angry was their way out into freedom #(which does make sense in the transgender and gay website) #so they default to applying that state to most things because it is What Feels Right To Me Actually and i can't blame them for doing so. #but then there's people like me who like. my life experiences have led me into the Guilt Pit #where i am trying extremely hard to be measured and understanding because i have been very emotionally reactive in the past #or have witnessed things where very emotionally reactive people have caused horrible things to others around them #and i hate that actually and i try as hard as i can not to be that. #which is why i also feel like whenever i see it in other people i'm like. oh boy. i would not get along with you lmao. #and i feel like these are two opposite mentalities that are definitely detrimental to you if gone too far into either direction #so i don't necessarily think either is bad or anything. as long as you're able to pull yourself back and realize that like #you Should dedicate some thought to the rest of the world actually and not default to just ''what i feel is correct always'' #and on the other end realize that sometimes you just have to Let Go #because caring about Everything is unrealistic and you will go Insane and lose your own self if you try to feel for too many other things #which is what i had to learn the hard way. #and also like. sometimes the immediate ''fuck you'' reaction Is super valid. and it's important to learn when that is the case. #but yeah. anyway. mentality. ways of seeing the world. people being different. wooooo. #rambling again in tags sorry.

[thepythakorean]

another post made me a little annoyed. i think we need to stop being repulsed by fusion food. food and cooking is one of the most ancient human activities that binds us together, isn't it wonderful that in our age of interconnectedness we combine each other's foods out of curiosity and love for each other despite the hate that goes on. idk!! i'm feeling a little irate today

#generally i think actual cultural appropriation might have made people sensitive over things that aren't necessarily appropriation #we've gone backwards into promoting ethnic homogeneity again i think. #i still feel sad and angry when i see non koreans fluent in korean when there was no attempt to teach me because america #maybe i need to get over it like. a little #it's not like i actively hate against it let alone to people's faces but i feel annoyed whenever i'm angry about it #tweet

[brookheimer]

It makes sense for them to include the pregnancy plot line but it doesn’t make it good or revolutionary and I think that’s such a shallow take on the situation. Her entire storyline has been the whole “if only she was a man” thing, where her main plot lines have been hating other woman, fighting with her husband, and now being pregnant. If the only thing we end up knowing about Shiv’s desires and life revolve around her child, that’s not revolutionary at all. Kendall has kids, but he is also a fully fleshed out character that can exist outside of that. Acting like “strong girlboss lead who has never accomplished anything in the show and is reminded of how her womanhood limits everything she does has to reconcile the way her body and ability to become pregnant can also be weaponized against her” is actually a fucked up storyline. It doesn’t make it bad, the entire show is a fucked up storyline, but it’s not some beautiful win for feminism

wooooah okay i was not at all saying her entire desires and life would revolve around her kid but rather that being pregnant forces her to self-reflect on the fact that she is not, in fact, a man, which would likely have important implications for her relationships with both the men and the women in her life, help us understand her interiority better (which right now we don't because she's always been very very dedicated to convincing herself she's something she isn't -- it would help HER understand her interiority better too), and overall just be kind of the catalyst for introspection in a way shiv hasn't been, like, provoked to do before. also i'm not saying it's inherently good or revolutionary just because they included a pregnancy plot! i'm saying that it has the POTENTIAL TO BE, which it does.

as always under the mf cut

'“strong girlboss lead who has never accomplished anything in the show and is reminded of how her womanhood limits everything she does has to reconcile the way her body and ability to become pregnant can also be weaponized against her” is actually a fucked up storyline' .....i don't understand. for one thing, i did not say jackshit about her pregnancy being weaponized against her. that is not at all what i was saying she had to reconcile with. i was saying she had to reconcile with the fact that she simply will not be seen as a man, and that maybe that's okay, and maybe she can still be a ~girlboss~ while still yknow being a girl. why are yall acting like pregnancy is this inherently agency-robbing thing that only exists to ruin the characterizations of strong women? you do know that it exists in real life, right? like, is this what you think about women who are pregnant in real life? because, like, everything you just described is just... i mean, that's not unique to this plot point. that's just part and parcel of being born with a womb. that's just fucking LIFE. that's just how shit IS sometimes. like YES you can be a strong girlboss and still not accomplish anything because a) you're a woman surrounded by men b) you're desperately attempting to act like a man and in reality are only performing a parody of 'masculinity' that's more harmful to you than it is helpful, but you feel it's the only way to survive, YES your womanhood limits everything you does (so long as 'everything' means 'success in your male-dominated career aspirations among your misogynistic family'), YES your body and ability to become pregnant can be weaponized. that's not inherently a fucked up sexist plotline? that's just how life is for a lot of women???? so why the fuck is it bad to show a woman struggling to reconcile with that FACT because it is a fucking FACT?! it is a FACT that women are judged for being pregnant!!! it is not a fucked up plotline to acknowledge that!!!!! what WOULD BE fucked up is centering her entire character around becoming a mother or something, which i just really fucking doubt they'll do. instead, i think it'll be used as a way to explore parts of shiv we haven't seen.

also, saying shiv's main plot lines have been "hating other women, fighting with her husband, and now being pregnant" .... like. i don't know man. did you kind of forget the part where she was a political consultant or fighting to become ceo of a major conglomerate or something? i would maybe argue that... well, that fighting to become ceo of waystar is her main plot line. not... hating other women? really, the only thing we know about shiv's life and desires is that she wants to be fucking ceo of waystar so she can get logan's approval. that is it. that is why i would like to know more about her PERSONAL life. about her PERSONAL wants and needs and desires -- maybe it's to have kids, maybe it's to never fucking have kids whatsoever and jetset around the world. i don't care!!! i just want to learn more about whatever is underneath her veneer of 'masculinity,' whatever is outside of her relationships with men. aaaaaaaaaaand i think having to deal with something as personal and body-focused and life-changing as a pregnancy will force her to ask questions about herself she's always been too afraid to ask, and i'm interested to see what the answers are!!!

it's not revolutionary to have a pregnancy plotline. fucking obviously. what WOULD be revolutionary is allowing a character who has defined herself by, as you said, wishing she was a man -- allowing her to still be her same ole manipulative masculine whatever self while still allowing her to consider a life involving a family or love. just consider!!!! because i don't think she even has. her focus is ONLY on career, on success, on being respected. like, actually, the only aspects of her 'desires' etc that we DONT know are those related to love and family. we know what she wants career wise! why are you acting like she hasn't been incredibly career-focused this entire time? i just want to know what shiv roy wants on a human level!!! because i don't think anyone is JUST SATISFIED with career!!!!! not saying you need kids, god no idek if i'll have kids fr, but that there is more to life outside of that. so i want to know what she wants from life, because frankly, i don't think she's had the time or energy to even focus on that with how desperately she's had to fight to stay in the room. but now she has to actually start considering herself as an individual with a life outside waystar -- something she really hasn't done since she worked for gil in season one. ever since, her life has been waystar waystar waystar. but pregnancy.... well. that's something that's her own, especailly given that no one else knows about it right now. so i want to know more about shiv. that's all. and that's what i think this arc can tell us, and that's why i'm excited for it.

#sorry if this is bitchy it's just 2 am i have a fever and my inbox is flooded with some really really strange takes. not saying this one is #necessarily Horrible but there are some fucking weird ones in my asks rn. kiiiiinda feels like ppl just read the first two like sentences #let alone below the read more and then wrote angry asks. again not saying that's THIS anon just in general. c'est la mf vie #well. hopefully someone understood what i was getting at w the shiv post. maybe it's only something that makes sense to ppl who #have witnessed a lot of like really weird bad pregnancy/abortion plotlines for career women before. iiiii dont know #anon just know my frustration here is not actually entirely on you it's more just generally so sorry if i took it out here LOL. appreciate #you sending an ask anyways like i'd always prefer talking about shit than not. i just feel like i'm repeating myself a lot here and i wish #people could just. idk. read the shit i've already said in other posts LOL. but ya know. here we are! ok have a good night sorry for the #ramble this is certainly not gonna be my finest essay but am i going to read it over? no! i am going to hit post go to bed and then wake up #and be like why did i do that #so! hitting post and going to bed #guten nacht #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy #asks #anon