#I'm not sure what's going on here tbh

[demigod-of-the-agni]

The pishacha are manifestations of evil itself, locked within a cursed amulet. The wearer of the amulet is at the mercy of the demon, known for possessing humans and feeding off their host's chakra energy. However, if symbiosis is achieved, the pishacha can grant its host a myriad of powerful abilities.

I just needed to draw something cool okay. I needed to draw some cool goop and some cool looks okay. okay. if I didn't post this I would have exploded okay

#IT'S VENOM BAYBEE #i can't confirm nor deny if pavitr ever ends up wearing the symbiote- sorry. the demon #i honestly just wanted to get something out lmao #it's eating me up from the inside (the au and the symbiote) #honestly there's a lot of white but fuck it. my boy needs to look good. #the dhoti reminds me of gwenom tbh. you know what i'm talking about. that pink bit in her 'fit #anyway i TOLD YOU the mythology was coming in like a boss >:) #sure i'm tweaking stuff here and there. but mwahaha.... boy does it feel good when mythology actually gets what i'm trying to go for #and spits something out for me to use :D #(crying for hours on end trying to figure out how the black goop does its thing) #anyway nearly 12am. this time i will tag my shit correctly 😤 we will not have a thompson/travasso incident again #pavitr prabhakar #spider man india #spiderman india #venom symbiote #venom #spider man fanart #mythic mumbattan au #myart #artoftheagni

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[crowleyholmes]

Bonus:

Don't mind me, I was just thinking about how Crowley must feel every time Aziraphale seems to put him in a box with the rest of hell. I know he tells him he's nice and kind and good and his friend just as many times or more, but still - after 6000 years of friendship and Doing The Right Thing together, it must have hurt when Aziraphale told him he's evil, and then even more when he told him you're the bad guys.

I just find it sooo interesting to look into every instance of Aziraphale talking about Crowley in either way. I want to take his thought process apart and study it under a microscope. We know that he knows that Crowley isn't evil, and we know that Crowley knows that he knows, and we (and Crowley) know that Aziraphale (up until a certain point) is just incredibly Heaven-brainwashed and it's hard for him to break out of that unless there's a situation at hand that requires Direct Action (see giving away the flaming sword to protect Adam and Eve, or protecting Job's children, or helping Elspeth to help Dalrymple, or stopping the Apocalypse).

How does he travel the world and the ages with Crowley and still somehow manage to call him evil with any level of seriousness? He is so convinced that all demons are evil, and at the same time he knows that Crowley's fall was unjust and a mistake and Crowley is NOT evil, but Crowley is a demon, but he's good and kind and nice and just, and Aziraphale sometimes struggles with that. Not consciously, I think, consciously he loves Crowley and trusts him and knows him well enough to see beyond angel/demon good/evil black and white thinking, but sometimes thoughts slip out of his mouth that are just. So far removed from what we know he knows.

He believes so strongly, in two things that could not be more mutually exclusive, and it's so fascinating. There's a lot of growth in that regard over the course of the series, we know that by the end of season 2 when he's talking to the Metatron, he is very clear in stating that his priority and his loyalty lie with Crowley, not with heaven. And I hold firm to my belief that he is going to Heaven because That's The Right Thing To Do, because he believes he can Make Things Better, for everybody, yes, but most importantly for Crowley. For the two of them!!

And YET. AND YET "you're the bad guys" somehow comes out of his mouth, when Crowley has Never really been a part of hell, and has always wanted to do the right thing for as long as Aziraphale has known him, and has been free of hell for Years now.

Still, Crowley is a Demon, and Demons Are Evil, angels and demons are hereditary enemies, right?

Except.... it's a little different when it's someone you know, isn't it?

#good omens #good omens 2 #meta #or rather just me rambling a lot really #I feel like i put all this into words So Badly i'm not sure my point comes across #tbh i dont know if there is a point #i'm just so FASCINATED WITH HIS MIND #I feel like I understand Crowley so so so well #his every move makes perfect sense to me always #but with Aziraphale #I feel like I understand him for the most part but then sometimes he has moments that make me go???? #WHAT was his thought process here #i just want to KNOW #i want to have an alcoholic breakfast at the ritz with michael sheen and just talk about Aziraphale tbh #okay whoops more rambling in the tags #let's tag this as #mine

[apostaterevolutionary]

An alien ship is detected in orbit. Some are elated, expecting a sharing of ideas, while others are terrified, expecting war on a scale previously unseen by humanity. Both are wrong.

First contact does not go the way anyone had ever expected.

So I posted this on my other pseud as tbh I'm just more active there lmao and I figure more people will see it than if I posted it on main. But it's a non-fandom original work so hey, might as well toss it here too

The idea haunted me until I got it out lmao, so here it is. A sci-fi horror story inspired by the likes of the twilight zone and scp about first contact going in a particular way. If that's your cup of tea, then I hope you check it out and enjoy!

#I'm not even sure what to say about this as it's non-fandom lmao but hey it's here #it is a thing I did #and I'm proud of it #so I hope you give it a go and enjoy #so I wrote a thing #original writing #sci fi horror #sci fi #horror #idk I hope I'm not spamming tags by posting this on main and side with the same tags sdslkds #but like tags are for blacklisting too so #idk if people like. even look for original fiction on tumblr tbh #okay gonna stop now

[passthroughtime]

sunday six!!

heyo again, gang! tagged by @jichanxo, @mike----wazowski, @four-white-trees, @overdevelopedglasses

i'm finally getting back on track and making some progress in chapter 5, but i decided that's not as fun to show you as something silly, and quickly typed a tiny bit into the other (iykyk) kwgm wip

Two things go through Yagami’s mind during that moment. The first is, when did Kuwana start to feel this comfortable in Yagami’s house?

And the second: this is really happening, isn’t it?

“I need you to help me,” Kuwana says, his voice articulate and calm. “Sit up and raise your arms.”

It is. It is really happening. Yagami sits there stunned until he hears Kuwana chuckle, “Now don’t be shy. Like it’s anything that I haven’t seen before.”

Yagami feels awful and pissed at his own embarrassment. Sadly, there’s nothing he can do about this aside from listening to Kuwana’s orders. He raises his arms, and Kuwana frees him from his sweaty T-shirt.

Completely mortified, Yagami realizes it is not the one that he fell asleep in. And while he's fully aware that this is a different kind of situation and means absolutely nothing, but the thought of Kuwana undressing him when he wasn’t fully awake and was entirely at his mercy… Well, that is definitely something he isn’t supposed to fixate on right now, that’s for sure.

#kuwagami #judge eyes #sunday six #putting letters together one word at a time #i'm just trying to figure out what's going to work here rn #but tbh it looks and feels like i'm discovering new kinks for yagami #all it took for my deranged mind is putting hands on this man's neck a couple of times and now i'm like this. #also i was 100000% sure i've written kuwana calling yagami shy into this wip already but apparently not #but i'm SURE i did it somewhere before #the fucking line from THEIR VERY FIRST MEETING? that fucking “no need to be shy”? it fucking. altered my brain chemistry or smth #or how kids are saying it #i WILL put this in any way or form everywhere i can. this is a threat. i will overuse it and feel no shame about it whatsoever

[b4kuch1n]

dip pen ink comm second round for in order R. Burry, @sega-bass-kissing, and Solaris

#bakuspecial #commission art #and thats round 2 concluded! #once again sorry it took a Lot longer than round 1 lol #its just. sometimes there are things up here #which is why (mentioning this again in an actually relevant post lol) I'm gonna leave my next week off from this! #round 3 will open sometimes AFTER this sunday. my rest of the week will be for other business I gotta take care of #tbh what I'm doing with ink here is kind of the equivalent of like. picking up someone's dog and running off #nobody knows whats going on or is gonna happen. but I am doing it nonetheless #now tho. maybe I should nap for a bit more. itd help #thank you again to folks who've bought a slot thus far! hope everyone's enjoying whatever the hells Im doing dskjfhdsjfh #I sure am uh. figuring it out. it is fun but then I'm the one with the dog in my arms #have a good night! maybe u should have an animal of choice in ur arms too. would recommend

[gregoftom]

this was homoerotic even for them

#tomgreg #they are PAINFUL tbh the way that greg was like you can trust me but the thing is tom DOES trust him #WHAT DO YOU THINK and greg says maybe you should and tom is like OK I'LL DO IT #LIKE??? LOL he trusts greg's council. he's unsure then greg says maybe you should and he's like ok!!!! girl #he also trusts greg to get drugs i mean yeah ken got some from him but ken didn't really care about its quality and took really bad coke lol #and is an addict/has previously been one and so far as we know tom isn't/hasn't and he would care about the quality lol #so he trusts greg to get the good shit #''but this is not a thing'' idk about that tom greg was originally expendable and now he's one of your fps lol #ALSO THE INTRICATE RITUALS OF TOUCHING HANDS. So good. and ''want it?'' ''thanks'' #i'm not sure if greg's the only dog here. you want it? huh! you want it! here you go! #the FAST written on the board between them when tom takes it!!!! the shots in this show A #again i'm not done but there'll be another post dooooont yall worry. great time for annoying people!!!!

[aziraphale-protection-squad]

right. so. i'm taking the angel and i'm wrapping him in a soft blanket and i'm telling him that NO ONE has the right to touch him without his consent.

no matter how well they know each other and got along previously.

or how angsty the person feels about possibly never seeing him again.

or how much Aziraphale might even possibly WANT to be intimate with that person on some level, someday, when they're okay again.

there are no ways around this:

if he's not READY for it, or if he's not in the MOOD for a kiss, then NO ONE SHOULD BE KISSING HIM. PERIOD.

#pretty sure this is not a controversial statement but the things i've seen some folks say today has been. um. #disheartening to say the least and alarming at worst. #please fucking tell me i'm not the only one who knows assault when they see it even if they find both characters attractive. #like. holy fuck. i love(d) crowley too but what the fuck. #how is THIS being overlooked while Aziraphale is taking all the blame for how shit went down in the finale. #~ooh they finally kissed!!!!!~ ugh but STUPID ANGLE!!! >:( doesn't he know how sexy and emotional crowley is??? he should ENJOY this!!!! #<- some of y'all's apparent attitude and it Concerns me deeply. #call it what it fucking is even if it sucks. it was a violation. period. it's 2023 we don't tolerate Blurred Lines bullshit here. #goddamnit this was my safe fandom and now i'm like. y'all scare me tbh. #i hate fandom drama but the way the majority have elected to ignore a literal assault so they can UWU Sad Demon Puppy their blorbo is just. #what is this? spn??? #he was my blorbo too but holy fuck i have lines. i have boundaries. and he crossed them when he crossed Aziraphale's. #if u think u know who this is no u don't #i am conflict avoidant leaf me alone lol #i just need to know that i'm not the only person here who um. respects boundaries and consent and all that. because y'all got me Concerned. #like. i wanna rant about this in my fandom friend groups but they're all UWU CROWLEY DESERVED BETTER so um. i no longer feel safe there tbh #good omens spoilers #go2 spoilers #go spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers

[shima-draws]

MAN I don’t think I’ve ever had art block this bad. It’s at the point where even sitting at my computer thinking about opening a canvas to draw just puts my brain in “Shima.exe has stopped responding” mode. I know I haven’t been doing art recently anyway but now I’ll just make an official announcement and say I’m going on an art hiatus for a while. At least until I can kick this lol

#Shima speaks #Not sure how long this will last tbh #A couple months? A few weeks? 2 hours? We'll just have to see #But my brain REFUSES. REEEEFUSES. #I'm not going to force myself if I'm not in the right place to do it. You know? #I'll still be here tho :") Chattin it up with you all. Hit up my ask box anytime it's always open #And I'm really sorry to everyone still waiting on comms...I'm actually down to my last few. Just a little more patience 🙏 #They'll be my first priority once I get out of this funk #And then I'll probably take a break from comms for a bit. Bc they're stressing me out nfndsnf #I just gotta figure out what to do with myself in the meantime...

[dandyshucks]

I think this is another case of b&w thinking actually fbfjdkdl I think it's probably worth talking about but ALSO I am being a little insane abt it because I keep getting so agitated stressing myself out abt it that Kam's (another system part) pulled me out of front like twice today for it and oh no not again lads dbfjdmkl

#Chase was fronting for pretty much the entirety of today (impressive tbh) and he thinks I'm being a little ridiculous fbjfdml #i simply just worry that I'm going to fuck smth up by either talking about all of this or not talking abt it #so i sit here unsure of what to do #Kam is Staring Me Down rn LMAO she's like u need to stop stressing urself out and go draw or ur getting yoinked again #I'll go draw and then think on the ramble post some more tomorrow when i have hopefully slept more than four hours fjfkdkl #i think i worded things in a decent way but I want to check it over to make sure it comes across the correct way #anyhowdy !!!! i hope everyone is doing well fjdkdl i have missed being around today fbdjdl #dandy.cmd #vent //

[iguessigotta]

Have you ever thought of the prospect of Dark being able to hypnotize? My Drabble lord, please bless me with a hypno Drabble 👏😩

have i thought about Dark being able to hypnotize? ONLY EVERY FUCKIN DAY SINCE I READ THAT ONE FIC weirdlyhornyforegos DID!! TW/CW: mind control, possible dub-con if you squint, reader's havin a fuckin great time tho, nsfw-ish No gendered pronouns used, but written with a transmasc reader in mind i tried to base the general vibe off of some of the honestly hottest lyrics I've ever heard: "I can't wait to get you all alone, all alone//Once I'm in, there ain't no letting go, letting go//Watch me turn your mind into my home" - Mind Games by Sickick "Bite your tongue//Don't you know how wild these thoughts will run?//Careful now//I hang on every word that leaves your mouth" - Ideas by Au/Ra but idk how well i did there, lmao

Your mind felt hazy, slowed and dragging slower by the second. Stringing a full thought together took a near-Herculean effort, as though you were trudging through knee-deep mud, feet sticking to the bottom with every step. A lazy drunken smile spread across your face as you swayed lightly in place, your eyes rolling back before closing, as your head tilted up to the ceiling. You felt confused, disconnected, almost floaty. You breathed a bit heavier, feeling the panic of not having a tether to the ground beginning to rise in you, as though you might float away if someone didn't save you. It was hard to stay standing, even harder to think.

Exactly how you'd asked him to make you feel.

Eventually that tether you craved did arrive, in the form of Dark's hands wrapping gently around your arms, pulling you towards him. You gasped when his hand appeared in you hair, cradling you head, only to let out a contented sigh as his lips met your neck. At the same time, you felt this odd sensation, as though someone had tied a rope to your mind, and now they were gently tugging on it. Try as you might, you couldn't figure out what it wanted. The addition of quiet, distant voices wasn't much help. You strained to make out words, frowning and letting out an unhappy sound when you couldn't sort out what it was saying. What it was commanding you to do.

Dark froze at the sound, backing off and lifting his head to look you in the eye. "What's wrong, Love?" the hint of genuine fear in his voice was like a stab to the heart, "Are you alright?"

"W-what? Am I...wait, nonono, you're fine," you said, voice raising to a near-whine as you reached out to hold his face in your hands, "You didn't d-do anything wrong." He held still a moment, resting his cheek in your hand, looking at you, before closing his eyes and letting out a breath you didn't know he'd been holding.

"Is it too much, then?" he asked, a teasing tone to his voice, "I can always turn it off, you need only ask. I know how much of a toll this can take on a mind."

"Turn it off? Don't you dare!" you half-shouted, dragging his face to yours, resting your foreheads together with a giggle, "I-it's - I - I'm..." You huffed and tried to organize your sluggish thoughts. "It's not overwhelming, that's the problem," you confessed, feeling a little guilt at demanding more from him, "My head's slow, but still too loud. I can't hear the.....your.....commands...well enough. I don't kn-now what they're saying."

As you spoke, you felt your face heat up, suddenly very glad you'd pressed your foreheads together, as you were sure you couldn't look him in the eye at that moment. His breath fanned across your face as he let out a light chuckle before moving down to kiss your neck.

"Oh, is that all?" he asked against your skin. Or, you thought he did. You found yourself suddenly unsure if he'd spoken at all, as he continued to kiss a line down your throat. You took a steadying breath as the room began to do a slow backflip, clinging to Dark's arms in an effort to stay upright. You heard him chuckle again, but this time the sound came from inside your own head, echoing lightly, making your mouth split in a smile, a light laugh escaping you. Reality felt like it was spinning, the weightless feeling was nearly overwhelming now, turning Dark into your sole anchor, making you desperately crave any contact you could have with him.

And then you felt that tug on your mind again. The accompanying voices were much louder this time, though you still couldn't make out what they said. It seemed as though your body understood, however, as it started moving on its own. You watched as your own hands raised themselves to press against Dark's chest, pushing him back, pulling another chuckle from him. You grinned at him before letting control over your body go.

Dark watched you turn with a small smile, his hand dragging lightly across your back. He made quick work of removing his jacket and shirt, barely holding back an affectionate laugh when you stumbled, catching yourself on the bedpost, before following you.

His hand rested lightly on your back as he slid past you into the bed, laying on his back. You held back a frown, opting instead to tilt your head at him in confusion, brows furrowed. "What are y-" you began, earning you a soft "Hush, Love" and another, stronger, tug at your mind. You let out a shaky breath before allowing your body to move. Unfortunately this time Dark stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

"Ah, I forgot," he murmured, sitting upright and reaching for the waistband of your pants, "These need to come off first." Without even a second's warning, Dark pulled your pants and underwear down to your ankles, pressing a kiss to your outer thigh as he straightened up.

"I apologize," he spoke, that light teasing tone back in his voice, "It seems I'd skipped a step in my excitement." When you made eye contact again, you fought to not hide your face, suddenly shy under his burning gaze. He smiled softly, a mischievous turn to the corner of his mouth, before laying back once more, eyes still on you.

You wanted to say something, but before you could form a shred of a thought, you felt that tug again. Closing your eyes and sighing happily, you let it move your limbs, pulling yourself onto the bed and climbing clumsily to straddle Dark's torso. You began inching upwards, towards his face, as his hands came up to rest on your ass. You frowned lightly, pausing to look down at him.

"T-this.....isn't what I thought you'd have me doing," you spoke slowly, straining to keep the slur out of your words, "What're y-" He cut you off with a gentle "shh" before pressing on your ass, forcing you upwards again.

"Don't worry, My Love," he said, breath hot against your inner thigh as he helped you to straddle him, hovering nervously above his mouth, "Be patient and let me have my fun first. It will be your turn soon enough." Before you had a moment to think of objecting, his grip, now on your hips, tightened as he pulled you down to him.

#darkiplier x reader #darkiplier x y/n #darkiplier x trans!reader #n/s/f/w #ok this isn't quite what i'd had written before but it's close #all the same scenes just worded differently #tbh i'm amazed i was able to remember any of this much less rewrite it all in one go #i've earned myself a treat for that i think #anywho hi yes hello i am a Full Grown Adult(tm) who has never written smut in his life #so i apologize for the fade-to-black ending. i'm just not sure how well i'd do at writing it #BUT if y'all like this and really want me to try lemme know #and i'll try to pick this up in a part two #try is the key word #it's 4 am and i'm full of chaos so imma just post it #happy sunday! here's some almost-filth!

[lyxchen]

I hate uni, I hate it, nobody helps you with shit and everyone expects you to just know how everything works even though you don't and you're only 19 and you didn't even want to go to uni but now you're in it and you don't know what to do and nobody helps you!!!

#okay part of that might be a bit personal #but like #i just finidhed something and sent it off and i'm not even sure if it's gonna count because nobody told me what exactly the deadline was #and i am confused about so many other things #like #i don't get it #and tbh #i don't want to get it #all i wanted to do was an apprenticeship in costume design or set design or something like that #but all the paces i applied to rejected me and so i found this studiengang that's similar to set design and i applied and i got in and the #university is 2 hours away from where i live so i go there by train three times a week and it's not even that fun #and all of a sudden i have to study chemistry again Because i don't know #and everyone is older than me and lives there and goes to partys and all i want is to learn how to sew without having to pay loads of money #for fashion school #and nobody helps me #like they're all like ''you're responsible for your own study path here and you won't get much help so you gotta do it yourself'' #and i get it that's how it works at uni but also how am i supposed to manage my own study path if nobody even tells me what that involves??? #hhhhhhh #sorry for ranting but i just really don't know what to do currently #at least in school they told me what i was supposed to do #at least i had a specific schedule there

[andromeda3116]

boy i love getting tipsy and then drunk and gushing about my special interest to people who cannot possibly care about this even half as much as i do and being deeply annoying and embarrassing myself and wanting to crawl into a hole once the harsh light of sobriety hits

#like i cannot stress enough that i want to die right now #it's not a physical hangover it's a mental hangover. a ''why am i incapable of shutting the fuck up'' hangover. #i become so deeply annoying when drunk that i should not be allowed to use my phone #i turn into the goddamned boom de yada commercial and inflict it on everyone in range #like i go off about the discworld series a LOT #one time at a party i cornered two guys who had no science background and tried to explain how avogadro's number was found #i gush about fullmetal alchemist or the story structure of everything everywhere all at once #i cry over interstellar or the cosmos series #my friends and family back home all already know this and give me their ''sure thing sarah now let's get you to bed'' looks #too few people here have been exposed to this to yet know how to stop it #eta: i should also stress that when i discovered that said guys did not know what vsepr theory was my reaction was not to stop #it was to get a piece of paper and start explaining lewis dot structures #eta again: you know after considering this long-standing history of doing this i feel paradoxically less embarrassed #like it will be very funny to explain the avogadro's number story and all the things i have done this about #like look i'm sorry i hit you with my special interest gushing but i have done this many times before to many people #the ''drunk!sarah highbeams of random essays and lectures'' is well-established and tbh kind of a rite of passage at this point

[reblog-to-cast-on]

me: I am going to do things this summer that aren't hyperfixate on a craft.

me, the moment I hear a friend is planning a dragon-themed nursery for an upcoming baby: time to buy more yarn than I can afford, spend 2 hours designing a dragon, spend 3 hours converting it into the right number of stitches, spend 6 hours writing out the whole pattern by hand in colour-coded ink so I can knit at work without needing to haul my tablet around with me, and spend 4 hours, 3 false starts, and a whole pot of coffee spilled on the floor while deciding how i really want the border to work and knitting the first 16 rows

anyway I uh. I have properly begun. I also ordered actual stitch markers bc I'm tired of using safety pins so I guess I'm a real knitter now.

#I also bought other yarn for someone else's baby but I haven't got farther than a general sketch for the pattern on that one #I'm still not quite sure how I'll handle the backing on this one tbh I changed my mind about making it double si #*double sided but I might make the part with the picture double sided so there can't be any loose strings the baby might catch #knitting #I don't even know what I'm doing #usually I just make shit up as I go #which means I'm really bad at following patterns #and here I am trying to make one ugh woops

[izzy-b-hands]

I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.

Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao

#text post #I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh #every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse #and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact #they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine #what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao #but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented! #and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.' #it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems #they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off #which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are #i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but #i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other #idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't #but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead #as useless a wish as that probably is #and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally #no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other #which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was #but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting #for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience #it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just. #idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests #and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often #very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it #no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on