#I'm sorry but that's so fucking funny to me. I think every Parent has experienced that I'm pretty sure.

[dootznbootz]

Menelaus rambles a lot about not only Helen, but also Hermione. About how she used to say Olive like "Olifs". How she lost her first tooth running too fast and running into a low branch while out with Helen. How he'd sometimes wake up to Hermione leaning over him and poking his face to say, "Dad, can we go see the horses?" even though it was barely daylight. How she was much nicer waking Helen and how he thinks Hermione did that on purpose because she found "dad's face funny". How her favorite color was every color.

And Odysseus listens.

And he thinks about how his son only had a few teeth coming in when he left, teething on everything. How he could only say one syllable with his babbles. How his son needed balance to stand but Odysseus was so proud that Telemachus was very good at rolling over. How his son loved pulling at his and Penelope's hair.

How his son would be talking, walking, maybe even lost his first tooth by now. And he doesn't even know if he'll ever know his son's favorite color.

#Hi get sad with me :D #Odysseus and Menelaus are the Bros™ to me. I love them. Both simps who love their family despite being different in personalities #You cannot tell me they didn't talk about this and how this was painful for both of them :') #To make myself feel better. I like the thought of Athena kind of keeping him up to date :'D as he's her pet you know? #okay so this next bit ain't angst but imagine Hermione just coming in staring in the dark with the classic: #“Mom. Dad. I frew up🥺” #scaring the shit outta both her poor parents. Yeah I know she had nurses with her most likely but it's cute and fun!!! #I'm sorry but that's so fucking funny to me. I think every Parent has experienced that I'm pretty sure. #odysseus #menelaus #tagamemnon #greek mythology #this'll probably flop but oh well xD My homies can get sad with me >:) #odyssey #the odyssey #telemachus #hermione #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #helen of sparta #penelope #odypen

[dashielldeveron]

anon from mid december here! god i love winning. ANYWAY much to observe. i love the through lines of government assigned chapstick flavours and the defining moment that makes the soulmate connection work in every chapter. i love that immediately after posting you cited your sources on tenkos characterisation. very funny very charming and you are very right. i adore the mcs vibes she knows so much about so many things with a 50/50 chance of it being useful and she’s MESSY and she’s FIGURING IT OUT and her relationship with tenko teaches her to give herself grace. they’re just so sweet on each other it brings me endless delight as does touyas lil cameos. he’s a dirtbag and he’s a comedian and hes warmed up to the ducks and i want to put him and his fucking HOOVES in my pocket. i’m sure i will return with more thoughts at some point but for now. very delicious to me. WAIT NEW THOUGHT THE FUCKING INVENTORY KEY THING WAS AN EXAMPLE OF THE SOULMATE CONNECTION GOD YOURE GOOD. AND THE GOGGLES sorry i’m re reading the chapter as i type this

ASLDKJFA;SDFJKL;A YOU GET IT!!!!!

oh my god the DUCKS. i needed someone to notice the ducks oh my GOD. he BUILT them a HOUSE in his little art project garden he has a duck for SOME reason in dnd what a LOSER. like he's bonded so hard with them he wanted a fictional one, too!!! like. imagine touya just carrying a duck around in a purse like a small dog. both of them v v v judgy. enemies to lovers duck edition

lololololol "government assigned chapstick flavours" you canNOT tell me that these very kissable boys are only using, if any at all, generic unflavoured chapstick lol. it is STUPID how long i've had "post-canon tomura wears burt's bees tropical pineapple chapstick bc he specifically wants something that Tastes Good" stuck in my head; i'm so glad it's finally in fic and that you've been keeping track asdjfkl;

and yeah i wanted to reblog the shigaraki meta that i'd been considering!!!! bc while i was rereading the manga for this route, i realised that everyone, from police to heroes to villains to students, just make Large Assumptions about shigaraki, and they just Say Things about him. and everyone around them just takes it as fact??? it's like. we the audience are being told things about shigaraki, but they don't match up at all with how we see him act. i am hoping that this is intentional on hori's part, esp. with how heavy-handed shig commentary has been by other characters in the last few chapters, to make the point of "midoriya is the only one who's ever Looked and shigaraki and Perceived." bc, like, AFO and the pro heroes objectify/dehumanise tomura but in different ways. i worry. but so much of what we're shown of shig just doesn't match up with what characters say about him!!! it's odd. i really like him, despite being Told That He Is an Object, specifically one of destruction.

goddddd reader in this route is messy and i have a lot of compassion for her. i think she should allow herself to get angry more often. but i think that gifted kid burnout and basically moving back into your parents' house and people judging your "bad" life decisions even though they can't Know what you're going through--it's a touchy subject, tinged with shame and confusion and insecurity of identity, and tomura, i think, is experiencing his own flavour of that, since he doesn't get to be the Greatest Evil VIllain version of himself that he had in his head for so long and now is Just Some Guy. i didn't want reader to have a saviour complex but i wanted her to Care So Hard, and i hope that came across, esp. since her caring so hard also works with her own insecurities.

also yessssssssss YESSSSSS the KEY the GOGGLES it was there in front of them the whole time!!!!! but they weren't looking for it!!!! bc when soulmate bonds are words and marks, who the fuck is gonna be looking for a soulmate bond in just some weird triviality????? lolololol i talk about wanting to handle tomura with care but gave him the silliest soulmate bond thing. i like how useless it is, because it's, like, tomura doesn't need to be useful rn, either.

godddddd i'm so glad you sent me an ask so i could talk about thissssssss. i'm SO fucking glad that you're noticing details like this and having fun with them!!!!! i am, too!!!!! i love tomura and you and i hope you are having a good 2024 so far!!!! xx.

#dash it all

[nedlittle]

thoughts on twilight

this has been fermenting in my inbox because i saw it and immediately got into a spirited debate with my best friend over the correct ranking of the twilight films (my answer is: twilight/breaking dawn pt 2/new moon/breaking dawn pt. 1/eclipse. my best friend was trying to argue that new moon is the worst but the soundtrack fucks so supremely it saves it from the slush pile). anyway. being a twilight girl (gn) from approx. grades 5-8 was the great equalizer. it crossed boundaries. you found your most unlikely comrades in the foxholes of the twilight trenches discussing how breaking dawn would end in between subjects. it was like what i imagine model un is like. there were at least two other people in my class aside from myself who got alice's haircut (which i do think is genuinely quite cute but the thing is we were all pudgy-faced 6th graders so it was not the most flattering of haircuts. whoever is responsible for alice's hair in bdpt1 i will hunt you for sport). i would sit on my kitchen floor rereading those damn books like i was possessed and i think eclipse was my favourite but don't quote me. the only two movies i saw in theatres were the og and new moon and the memory of rolling my eyes whenever jacob took his shirt off is burned into my psyche. i continued to be repressed for more than a decade after that but to be fair i was also 12 and catholic. the first movie is a Good Movie both in that there are some solid technical elements and in that it's so funny i'm sorry. in uni my roommates and i watched all the films back to back for the first time and we were so emotionally strung out by the absolute roller coaster of emotions we experienced over the course of 10 hours that we all genuinely started sobbing our goddamn eyes out during the final battle/vision and then cried again when literally every single character is given their due in the credits bc it's just really sweet :'). then my parents stopped by for a visit like half an hour later and we were like hello. we are all normal. also the composers on those films were absolutely STACKED??? carter burwell twilight/breaking dawn both parts alexandre desplat new moon goddamn HOWARD SHORE for ECLIPSE??? howard why did you score the WORST one??? the soundtracks ripped. they had no reason being as good as they were. the last two were shot by gdt collaborator guillermo navarro and it SHOWS they look FANTASTIC. by the last two everything genuinely was camp. i think engaging with twilight in the year 2022 is a bit different than engaging with...y'know bc smeyer isn't actively on twitter like i think all trans people should be forcibly detransitioned and then burned at the stake you guys wanna see how much i can hate minorities but then there is the whole vampirism makes you white & indigenous people are literally animals i'm gonna make billions off a racist misappropriation of your tribe while you get nothing thing. i mean it's a case of Use Your Brain While Critically Engaging With Media but if you've spend actual money on something twilight-related in the past like. three years. why? pirate that shit. at least donate the same amount to the quiluete higher ground fund sidenote did you know that quiluete is one of only a handful of languages that doesn't have nasal vowels? that's neat. billy burke charlie swan performance of a lifetime. seth and leah clearwater best characters.

i got this ask before the mcr twilight show in washington happened and i just have to restate. "i want to watch you turn into a werewolf" on the drum. coming back for the encore in a team edward shirt (WHERE DID IT COME FROM. I DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW THE PROVENANCE OF THIS PARTICULAR ITEM OF CLOTHING) simping for rpattz in the batman into your song about being asked to write a song for one of the twilight movies and saying Fuck No into the first paragraph of interview with the vampire read into the vocal distorter into your biggest banger also about vampires into the final song of the night and arguably your saddest which is about dying of cancer. thanks for coming to the show glad you enjoyed the double vampire encore now think about your own mortality.

those are my thoughts on twilight :^)

#long post #jeynepoole #answered #this unlocked something in me. as you can tell #fully did not check to see if this is coherent i know it isn't i just sat down and typed until i ran out of things to say #my firefox window rn is just like. tumblr. two job postings. 32 wikipedia entries abt various synagogues. the quiluete language #(i've been looking up various Massive and Beautiful religious buildings since last night i've already done churches & mosques)

[tenthgrove]

Hello, I just saw that you opened your request. I'm the one who ended up writing a whole prompt! Imagine this for each member from La Squadra: they had an one-night stand with a random woman, she accidentally got pregnant and decided to have the baby without telling them. After a while, the woman got ill and passed away, but not without before sending her child with their father (let's imagine she has the direction of their hideout even if it's ooc, or she knew where they hang out). So, one day someone knocks the door and introduces themselves as the kid of one of the members/if it's too young, someone left them on the door with a explainatory note... How do you think each member would react by discovering that they have a child and they're supposed to take care of them from now? You can make each kid with different ages if you want, it would be funny to see Prosciutto or Ghiaccio dealing with a rebellious teenage son or Risotto trying to take care of a toddler, but I guess not all of them would want to keep their children. Sorry if it's a lot, haha.

La Squadra did a Diavolo

La Squadra x Reader, Platonic/Familial, SFW

A/N: your idea about mixing up the ages got me thinking, and I ended up using randomisers for the children’s ages (though I did consciously change some of them) and genders. It added a fun bit of chance to this prompt.

Formaggio, with an 8 year old daughter

The whole thing feels surreal to him. There's a little girl on his doorstep calling herself his daughter and by all evidence, it's true. He doesn't really know how to feel about it at first. On one hand it's kind of cool he had a kid all this time and you're clearly a lovely girl, but on the other hand, what the fuck? Still, not being the practical sort, his sense of sentiment far outweighs any question of how he's actually going to look after a child, so without much deliberation, Formaggio agrees to let you stay.

Formaggio isn't too experienced with kids but he doesn't exactly dislike them either, so he figures he knows what to do. At your age you can at least do the basics of looking after yourself, so he isn't too worried. The only problem is that if you ask him to cook for you or help clean your room, his eyes go very wide. He never quite picked up those skills himself, he's afraid, so you're going to have to ask someone else for that one.

The good news is that Formaggio is a very easy-going, fun sort of dad, who is a natural at playing with you and lets you do what you want when he can't be around. He quickly gets used to showing affection to you, letting you cuddle up to him on the sofa in front of the squad and even carrying you around once in a while. He gives amazing piggy back rides.

The bad news (or more good news, depending on how you are) is that you have to leave school. Risotto says that at your age you can't be trusted not to tell anyone your new family is a bunch of assassins, and taking you to and from school each day would be too much of a hassle. Nonetheless, you're welcome to continue your education from home, though Formaggio will hardly push you if you don't keep up with it. Melone is much better on that front.

Despite the risk, Formaggio can't bring himself to force you to lose all your friends, so he lets you keep meeting with them. Furthermore, he knows a few guys in other squads who have kids about your age, so he's happy to introduce you to them if you want a friend you can be more honest about your home life with. Formaggio might not have a clue what he's doing, but he's doing pretty good.

Illuso, with a 3 year old daughter

He's been fearing this day would come for years. A small child knocking on the door of the hideout, holding a note in hand addressed to him, just as a shady looking car drives away. Yeah, Illuso remembers your mother pretty well and he remembers the distinct lack of precautions they took during their encounter. Now, the consequences of his actions are here at his house, and Risotto is currently standing in the doorway of the office looking ready to give him the biggest dressing-down of his life.

After his tongue-lashing, Illuso frantically agrees to take responsibility for what he's done and see to it that you're well cared for, and begins the task of looking for relatives who might take you. Unfortunately, none of your mother's family can be traced, and Illuso can't exactly call up his own right now. Leaving you on the door of an orphanage isn't an option because you're old enough to say where you've come from, so it looks like for the time being, Illuso is stuck with you.

Initially, Illuso is not thrilled. He pawns you off on Melone, Sorbet and Gelato whenever possible and tries to live his life as before. But increasingly, he can't help finding himself visiting your room whenever he's stressed or has had a bad mission. There's something so pure about gently stroking your hair as you sleep. He can't help but feel... attachment, as he rubs his thumb against your tiny palm.

From then on, Illuso starts to make a point of spending more time with you. You're at the age where you just want to touch and explore everything you're given, so letting you make a mess with his makeup and beauty creams is an easy way for him to observe and learn about you. He even starts doing the more practical things like washing and feeding you every so often.

Eventually, Illuso becomes an actual father to you. He loves you as a father should and puts his time into making you happy. Illuso is glad he didn't give you away, as you've opened his eyes to so many things. For the first time in many years, he feels human. He feels redeemable.

Prosciutto, with a 13 year old son

As you tell him your story Prosciutto racks his brains. He didn't have many one-night-stands in his youth but the ones he did have were so far back he barely remembers them, so your mother's name doesn't immediately ring any bells. If it weren't for the striking resemblance between you, Prosciutto probably would have thrown you out for a liar there and then. But as you are, it's clear you're being honest. He lets you in.

After a short interrogation by Risotto to make certain you aren't acting on behalf of some third party looking to infiltrate the squad, it's agreed you can stay, so long as you keep quiet about it to your friends. At your age you can largely look after yourself and all you really needed was a roof over your head, so there's no problem with you moving into the spare room as long as you stay out of the others' way.

Education isn't much of an issue either, since you're likely well settled in your current school and can get yourself there and back. Just whatever you do, don't go telling anyone you live with a bunch of gangsters now. Prosciutto means it, you could seriously put yourself in danger if you do that.

Much to your father's ire, you end up befriending several members of the squad, especially the younger ones like Melone, Ghiaccio and Pesci who have some generational overlap with how you were raised. Prosciutto would rather you didn't do this but at the end of the day, he can't really stop you. God forbid you call him an old boomer again.

Your relationship is overall positive- Prosciutto makes a point of taking you on outings when he has the time, and giving you parental advice when you need it. However that doesn't stop you from making fun of his stuffy, old habits, and playing the moral high ground in regards to his work.

On that note, the problem comes when you develop an interest in the squad's work. It's only inevitable, given how pervasive the topic is in conversations around the house, and the fact you're more than old enough to know what a gang is, but the day you first ask him about it is no less welcome. What's scary is that you're about the same age as Passione's youngest recruits and, well, if you ended up joining them because of him, Prosciutto might never forgive himself.

Pesci, with a 6 month old son

He knew it had been a mistake. Not long after his 18th birthday he'd given in to the squad's pestering about his virginity and finally gotten rid of it just to shut them up. Now he's ridden with guilt. Not only did the poor woman get pregnant because of him but now she's died. He can't help but wonder, the letter attached to the basket you came in was very vague after all, was your mother's death at all related to your birth? If so, Pesci doesn't know how he'll forgive himself.

Pesci immediately panics and stumbles into his Fra's bedroom crying louder than you are. Prosciutto remains calm, advising him to first make sure this actually is his baby through Melone, in case this is somebody trying to trick him, and to then think through his options rationally. As far as Prosciutto sees it, he has two. He can either see to it that you're taken in by a caring, reliable individual, or he can keep you for himself. Surprisingly, Prosciutto's actually okay with the second one, since in his eyes duty to one's family is absolute.

Pesci stammers a bit and asks if he can wait a few days to make his mind up, which Prosciutto permits. But it isn't long at all until Pesci is far too attached to you to ever let you go, and it becomes clear you'll be staying for the long-run. Risotto is hardly happy about this but agrees with Prosciutto's sentiment of family, so he doesn't try to insist you be sent away.

Pesci is an incredibly loving father. He'll dash from the other side of the house at a moment's notice if he hears you crying. That said, being so young himself it's inevitable he requires some help with raising you. Sorbet and Gelato chip in quite regularly, as does Melone when Pesci is desperate enough to fall on using him. Prosciutto helps out too, being your uncle, and occasionally you've even had Risotto answer your cries.

La Squadra can only hope their situation improves somehow in the coming years, since Pesci has no idea how he's going to deal with an older child in a house full of assassins. At very least, being so young it's a long time before he has to worry about things like school. For now, what's important is that you are loved very dearly. Pesci has discovered a new protective streak in himself, something he discovers every time he looks in your eyes.

Melone, with a 4 year old son

When you arrived you were frightened and confused. You struggled to babble out the story you were told to tell as the strange men crowded around you in the front room of the house. Then, a bizarre looking man with purple hair pushed to the front of the crowd, insisting he knew what to do in a situation like this. He carried you somewhere quiet, and gently asked you to repeat your story again. You told him you were looking for your father, Melone.

Melone is elated. He's always wanted a child, but getting into a relationship stable enough to produce one has never been an option with the life he lives. Now the happy accident he never new he had has come home to him! Carrying you back to the living room, Melone introduces you as his son and announces to the team that he will be keeping you.

This is met with some protest. Not only are you of the age where you'll need constant supervision, but quite frankly, nobody trusts Melone to take care of a kid. Melone refutes their accusations harshly, making it absolutely clear he will not be giving you up without a fight. Finally, Risotto surrenders, on the terms that if he catches any signs of abuse or neglect, he will see to it personally that you are re-homed elsewhere.

Melone's parenting style is relatively laid-back. He believes parents should be a 'safe base' from which children should explore the world, coming back when they need advice but ultimately following their own whims within reason. He encourages you to play as you wish and does not stop you from bonding with the rest of the squad. Finding supervision for you while he's on missions proves to be a non-issue, since his stand's massive range means he can often do most of a mission's work at home.

When the time comes to educate you, Melone decides against the risks of enrolling you in school. He is an amazing teacher and can teach you everything you'd need in half the hours of a typical curriculum. Beyond the essentials of literacy and simple maths, Melone largely encourages you to follow you own interests rather than stick to some boring, arbitrary list of useless things a normal curriculum for some reason expects you to learn.

That said, he knows the importance of making friends, so he frequently takes you out to meet with neighbourhood children. All-in-all, the squad is surprised at his sensible parenting choices, and the happy child you are turning out to be.

Ghiaccio, with a 2 year old son

It's almost comedic the lengths Ghiaccio goes to to avoid the problem. As the others crowd around you in Melone's lap, Ghiaccio cowers in the corner insisting that you absolutely cannot be his. It's very obvious you are, of course. You look almost exactly like him, and have a cry to match. You've even inherited the same, mild visual impairments that earned him his glasses. There's no getting away from the truth.

After accepting the truth, Ghiaccio takes you away to his room to 'clear his head' before deciding where to send you in the morning, but when morning comes, that deliberation time quickly turns into a few more days, then a month, then never. It's clear Ghiaccio's become attached to you, and he cannot bring himself to give you away.

Unfortunately, he doesn't have the foggiest clue in hell how to look after a toddler. He has a hard enough time understanding what it is adults want from him, let alone small children. There are times he even considers giving you away again, but they never last long enough for him to go through with it. Bit by bit, he slowly learns how to be a father.

Melone is his primary co-parent. As cautious as Ghiaccio is about letting him around his baby, it soon becomes clear Melone can understand your needs far better than he can. The pair have many sessions together teaching Ghiaccio how to do things like wash you or cook your food. It's honestly a massive help, and probably the main reason Ghiaccio doesn't completely melt down within a month of having you.

These issues aside, Ghiaccio is a person who is very genuine in his affections. He would break the shins of anyone who even looked at you threateningly, and every fibre of his being wants you to be happy. He even learns to control his temper, as he knows from experience just how damaging an angry parent can be for a child. He's going to give you a better childhood than what his parents gave him, and that's a promise.

Risotto, with a 6 year old daughter

Well, perhaps this ought to have been expected. In his early 20s Risotto was really far less careful than he ought to be in regards to his encounters, so he probably had this coming. You are at a difficult age, old enough to understand your father is a criminal but young enough to still need his care. If he takes you in, there will be many challenges. And yet he cannot bring himself to turn you away. Looking at you he feels... obligation.

In the early days he tries his best to shelter you. He keeps you in his room and tells the others not to talk to you. But that's no way for you to live, and he knows it. Eventually, he swallows his fears and lets you explore your new home, even taking you out to the park a few minutes each day so you can run around. He talks to Melone about continuing your education, and asks Sorbet and Gelato if they'd let the spare room next to them be turned into a bedroom for you. He's going to make sure he raises you right.

Risotto may be quiet and introverted, but do not mistake that for emotionally distant. He does not underestimate his vital role in your emotional well-being, and is quick to pick up on when you are feeling sad or lonely. He makes sure to pick you up in his arms and ask what's wrong when that happens.

Though he didn't know her well, he mourns your mother with you, and is very watchful for the signs of attachment issues that may result from losing a parent at such a tender age. Being all you have left, Risotto gains a new instinct of self-preservation. For the first time in years, his life has meaning.

In terms of bonding, he prefers calm activities that allow him to passively observe your interests, such as watching movies or reading you books. When he's working in his office and doesn't need his camera on, he's happy for you to sit in his lap as long as you're quiet. He would ask if you don't read what's on his screen, though, at least not while you're so young. He'll give you a better explanation of what he's doing some day, but not just yet.

Sorbet and Gelato, with a 12 year old daughter

First of all, let's make clear that regardless of which one is biologically your father, they both feel equal responsibility for you. No doubt they were both present for your conception anyway, so as far as they're concerned, if one of them has a secret kid from a hookup, they both have a secret kid from a hookup.

Having always wanted children, they are happy when you appear on the doorstep and introduce yourself as their daughter. Though they don't say it out loud to avoid upsetting you, they kind of wish your mum had kicked it sooner so they could have raised you from a younger age, but they're more than happy to make do with what they've got. There's no hesitation in welcoming you to live with them permanently, and anyone who has a problem with this isn't brave enough to say it.

Right from the get-go they are very permitting parents, awarding you a generous helping of their cash each week and having a rule list that pretty much starts and ends with "don't talk to the police." Despite your age they don't expect you to be independent, and are happy to cook for you and help you out with other things when you ask. It seems parenthood was made for them.

Despite all this, there is one problem in your relationship that is making things difficult. That of your fathers' work. You're 12 years old and you aren't stupid. You know they kill for a living and you know they enjoy it. When you stumble into the bathroom at 1am to find them covered in blood and laughing together, there's no making excuses. No matter how good they are with you, this is going to make you afraid of them.

Sorbet and Gelato are incredibly stringent in solving these early issues. After all these years they've finally got the family they wanted, and they aren't going to let it slip away from their own cruelty. They are honest with you about their occupation, since they want you to know you can trust them, and make absolutely clear it won't affect their care for you. You are welcome to ask questions and receive honest answers, but other than that Sorbet and Gelato will make a point of not accidentally causing you to witness something you shouldn't.

With them, you are welcome to continue your old life in terms of school and friends. They want to spend time with you, but they don't want to overtake your existence completely. When you are up for it, they are keen to take you on outings that interest you so you can spend time together as a family. They hope you know how happy you make them.

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra x reader #formaggio #formaggio x reader #illuso #illuso x reader #prosciutto #prosciutto x reader #pesci #pesci x reader #melone #melone x reader #ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #sorbet and gelato #sorbet and gelato x reader

[bi-bard]

You Both Are Idiots - Dean Winchester and Castiel Imagine (Supernatural

Title: You Both Are Idiots

Pairing: Dean x Platonic!Reader, Cas x Platonic!Reader

Requested: by @gabrielasilva1510

Word Count: 1,158 words

Warning(s): Cussing, angst, implied smut (nothing descriptive, trust me)

Summary: (Season 15x3) After stopping the souls that Chuck released, the team has to try to cope with the losses they've faced. (Y/n) is fixated on not letting those losses tear them apart.

Author's Note: I don't usually write for ships but this person had a very interesting way around that.

------------------------------------

I was tired. Physically and emotionally drained. I just wanted to help in every way I could but the emotions in the bunker were too strong. Pain and anger. Sadness and... love?

I was nowhere near the most powerful or the most spectacular supernatural creature, but I would say my powers were interesting. I was able to feel other people's emotions on an exaggerated level. If someone was hurting, I would hurt just as badly.

Sam and I had actually been working on the potential of twisting people's emotions. It wasn't going great but that also wasn't important.

The bunker was often a place of strange emotions. There was a lot of confusion during the days and nights. I had always noticed the love in the bunker.

It was normal at this point.

Sam and Dean were siblings. Siblings loved each other. Cas was their best friend. Love wasn't shocking there either.

After all that had happened with God and Jack and Mary and Rowena, I was in a lot of pain. So was everyone else... which made mine even worse.

I was walking toward the library in the bunker when I heard Dean snapping at Cas and felt a wave of anger. I froze in the doorway between the map room and the hall.

"Belphagor was lying," Cas said.

"Belphagor was a demon-"

"Belphagor was using us," Cas argued. I scrunched my face at the waves of emotions. It was a lot. Pain, anger, that strange feeling of love. "He wanted to eat every last soul to take over hell, Earth, everything."

"And we would've figured it out," Dean yelled. "After! With Rowena!"

"The plan changed, Dean," Cas snapped. "Something went wrong! You know this, something always goes wrong!"

"Yeah, and why does that thing seem to always be you," Dean asked.

There was one important lesson I learned with my powers. There were different forms of love. And each one felt different. Siblings and families were different from friends and friends were different from lovers. It was a fact that I had to come to terms with.

Dean and Cas didn't have the same love that Sam and Dean did or that I had with either of them. Dean and Cas had love that wasn't just different... it was some of the most powerful I had experienced.

"You used to trust me," Cas said sadly. "Give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me. My powers are failing and I've tried to talk to you. Over and over. And you just don't want to hear it or you just don't care... I'm dead to you. You still blame me for Mary."

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, I don't think there's anything else to say," Cas turned around. He saw me in the doorway. I now had a hand on my chest and tears in my eyes. He sent me a fake smile and a nod as he went to leave.

"Where are you going," Dean asked.

Cas stopped and turned back to Dean for a moment, "Jack's dead. Chuck's gone. You, Sam, (Y/n)... you have each other. I think it's time that I moved on."

Cas turned and continued walking out. I felt all of the pain and the love.

"Cas, stop, please," I asked, making my presence known to Dean too. Cas was at the bottom of the steps.

"(Y/n)-"

"Please," I said. Cas nodded. "I'm sorry but... you guys are both idiots."

"Sorry," Dean raised his eyebrows at me.

"I don't get it," I explained. "I understand that my powers make me feel what you guys do but how do you two not feel it radiating from each other? It's overwhelming."

"Feel what," Dean asked.

"The love and the pain and the fear," I yelled. "I've felt love between two people but this... this is insane."

"(Y/n)-"

"Dean," I cut him off. "I've seen love with friends and with siblings but this isn't the same. It's stronger and it's scarier. And I know that you know that. I just want you two to talk, for fucks sake."

Cas walked closer to the library. He looked at Dean in silence for a moment. Dean stood with his arms crossed.

Dean sighed, his jaw tensing.

"You know that I've seen love between people," I said, stepping closer to him. "Hell, I've seen your parents together. You and Cas are blinding. I'm not letting both of you walk away from that now."

"Please," Cas asked. That seemed to make Dean's resolve crumble. He nodded and the two of them moved to sit at the table.

"Okay," I smiled. "I'm gonna go check on Sam. Give you two some space."

Dean and Cas nodded.

I waved at them on my way out. I walked down the hall quickly. One problem mostly solved, now to the other. I had to stop for a moment when I felt the love I felt turn into pain.

"Sam," I asked, knocking on his door. He quickly wiped his eyes. "You don't need to hide your emotions from me... especially because you can't."

"Instincts, I guess," he forced a chuckle.

"Scoot over," I nudged him lightly. I laid next to him once there was enough room. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he leaned his head on my shoulder.

It was a funny sight. Sam was taller than everyone he met, myself included, so when he laid his head on my shoulder, his legs went way farther than mine.

"Do you wanna talk about it," I asked. He awkwardly shook his head against my shoulder. "Okay, we don't have to. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"How are Dean and Cas," he asked back.

"Don't know," I replied. "My powers have a range, Sam."

"So... if we got closer, then you'd know?"

"Yeah."

"Come on," Sam stood up, going around so he could drag me down the hall.

"Sam, this is an invasion of privacy," I whispered as he pulled me along. I stopped about halfway there. Sam went to ask me what it was but I shushed him.

"What," he asked quietly. I held a finger up.

I grinned, "No fear... no anger... there's love and... oh."

"'Oh?'"

"Go back," I said. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Go back. Please"

I started pushing Sam back to his room. He started chuckling when he saw my face turn bright red. I rolled my eyes, just wanting to get away from the whole situation.

"I told you it was an invasion of privacy," I snapped as soon as his door closed.

"You should've seen your face," Sam laughed at me. "That was hilarious."

"I'm glad you're feeling better," I replied sarcastically. He hugged me.

"Thank you," he mumbled. "Now. Let's hope we can stay busy in here long enough to avoid the library as much as possible."

"Forever would be ideal."

Sam just nodded.

------------------------------------

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[plaidbooks]

I'm so sorry you're having a bad mental health day, but thank you for saying so ❤ It's great you reached out! literally every weird, funny experience of my life escapes me at the moment 🤦‍♀️

Here's one that's not the best: I was maybe 19 when I experienced my first car accident. While I was stopped at a red light, a lady going 40mph slammed into my car. Put my hazards on, called the police, tried to get the lady's insurance info while we waited. The whole time I'm taking care of this (still in the driver's seat because it's a busy intersection) she's at my window telling me none of it is necessary, it was just a scratch, it's really not that bad. So I'm thinking "whew that's good." Cop gets there, I get out of the car to look..... and the entire back hatch of my suv is caved in.

I stumble a bit in what feels like delirium. The cop has us move the vehicles to a nearby parking lot. I cannot get ahold of my parents to come get me (leaving voice mails that were becoming more and more hysterical) and am getting more panicked. Two of my friends walk about 1/2 mile to come be with me (FUN FACT: some friends from high school were in the car in front of me at the red light, we were meeting up to get ice cream. They heard me get hit, BUT the driver was a friend who I told I would go to prom with and later backed out and I swear to this day driving off was his revenge). God, this is a more complicated story than what I set out to tell.

I'm feeling calmer. Finally heard from my parents, they're on their way. Cop is talking to the lady who hit me. Guess what, she's driving her dad's car without insurance and this is her 2nd time crashing one of his cars. I notice the lady's daughter who was in the car standing off to the side. I walk up to her and ask her if she's alright. I say "that was really scary! I had to call my Daddy!" Girl looks at me and says "I don't have a dad."

I like to think under different circumstances I could have figured out a comforting thing to say. As it was, I was not emotionally able to handle that. I just nodded and said "hmph," and luckily my parents drove up shortly after.

Fucking oof! That sounds terrible! At least you got some experience out of it, though!

Funnily enough, my first memory is when I was in a car accident (I was 2). Drug deal gone wrong; a dude killed the couple he was selling to, stole their truck, GOT AWAY WITH IT, flipped off a cop at a stop light before speeding away, ran a red light and took off the whole front of our station wagon. He went careening into a light pole, through a fence, and hit a tree which stopped him.

#answered #about me #caracalwithchips #tw car accidents

[demyrie]

I've seen you talk a lot about love language, and it's something I'm slowly but steadily learning. I have a question about it! What can you do if you know someone who has a very incompatible love language with you, or who reacts poorly to your love language? Multiple times now I've had friends who would get almost hostile towards my ways of showing care, and its so upsetting to me that i sometimes stop being friends with them. It then makes it hard for me to show my love to other people (1/2)

Oh what a wonderful question. I adorelove languages as a concept, because they’re as diverse as the peoplewho “speak” them. Which might be why ... this definitely turned into an essay.

First off, sweet thing!! I’m sorry tohear that you’re getting that kind of reaction from your displays ofaffection! It can be really, really discouraging to be brave and openup to somebody, or offer affection, and get backlash or a negativeresponse … it does teach us that maybe there’s something wrong with what we’re doing, but you have to remember what dialect of love languagepeople are coming from and what your affection might “look” liketo them out of context.

Speaking Across Love Languages: It’sKind of Like the Dog and the Potato!

In case you haven’t seen this wonderfulthing that originated on tumblr, it’s a therapy dog who brings her crying person a potato, andit’s crushed hearts around the internet because of this generalhilarious sentiment: I don’t need it, but thanks it means the world inthis awful, awful moment.

And it’s funny, because animals offertheir love or care language and while it often doesn’t translate(thank you cat but I did not want this dead worm? Ok?), we are ableto gush and cry and appreciate the pure and whole effort itself,in and out of context, because “they don’t know any better”or “they’re just doing them dude” but we don’t offer the sameunderstanding to the people in our lives.

People learn affection in differentways and it differs greatly based on not only culture, but all theabundances and lackings you’ve experienced in life. We are programmedfrom an early age to value what we value, when oxytocin is runninghot through our developing little brains and wiring it with themental-emotional-chemical definition of LOVE that will follow usthrough our days, for better or worse. It can make both giving and accepting affectioncomplicated.

What Matters to You?

Make no mistake, many walk on this Earth without a clue what their love language is. To some that come from physicallyaffectionate households, cuddling and physical closeness is theheight of comfort. I love a good hug and I cuddle like a champ. Topeople who come from homes where they were rarely touched, however,being given a Classic American Comfort Hug might invoke anxiety …or they might crave it more than anything because they never had itwhile young.

To others, maybe their parents madethem food when they were sad and so cooking and the effort of itmakes them feel loved and cherished (see: my dude). To some, likemy dad, valuing someone’s time is the greatest sign of respect, andif you showed up late for something you may as well have spit in hisface. Conversely, the most important thing to these folks is justDOING things together. Doesn’t matter what, just time, and time spenttogether, is what matters, which perplexes Personalized Affectionpeople like me, who are left wondering why the fuck dad asked me tocome to home depot with him with no explanation because he’s takingtime away from the gift picture I was drawing for him???? which by the wayhe won’t show “proper” appreciation for, because really he justwanted to lurk around home depot with me. 

(My dad is weird.)

Love Language and Miscommunications

So, something bad happens, we wantcomfort, and the people around us don’t respond the way we want themto. They don’t hug us, or say what we want them to say, and we takeit super personally and feel jilted or abandoned. We think, whyaren’t they comforting me, why are they purposefully ignoring ordenying me, without considering that people learn and enact comfortin different ways and under no circumstances can they read your mindand desires.

(I’m gonna share an epithet from Rae andmy struggles, as I’m sure she won’t mind.)

There was a time in Undergrad when @rainbowstarbirdrealized, in the process of discovering that we were indeed quitefucking depressed and mentally ill, that we were living in completelydifferent worlds. Our repressed personal problems fit together like avery awful tessellation of trauma that dug deeper and deeper withevery year: I feared being smothered and controlled and she fearedbeing abandoned, so every time I pulled away in fear, she ran forwardin fear, with both of us having no idea why we were getting so angryat each other, or why we felt like we were constantly in danger despite beinghonors students and on scholarship and good life and affordable housing and etc etc.

My comforting love language has alwaysbeen providing things for people and taking care of their physicalbodies. We were still struggling to be friends through all this and Ialso leaned heavily on my role as caretaker in order to divertattention from my own pain, so if Rae was upset, I would make herfood or tea or just ask if she was hungry. Rae, on the other hand,dissociates severely when triggered and the only thing that cananchor her is physical touch, and her top priority is having a lovedone sit and spend time with her to prove she’s not alone and hated.

Worst Case Scenario: Lost inTranslation

I come in and Rae is a lump on thecouch. The air is thick with some kind of tension, which Iimmediately interpret as personal resentment and I get triggered as shit bythe ongoing mental tape of everything you do isn’t enough, but I recognizethat she isn’t feeling good. I ask her if she’s hungry. She says no,and doesn’t say anything further because she’s afraid of being needyand giving me the chance to deny her and confirm her fears that yes i hate her okay bye. I, at a loss, say I’m gonnamake her tea, because I want to take care of her in some way.

So I head into the kitchen and leaveher alone and suffering on the couch, saying, in her language, that Idon’t care about her one goddamn bit. I come back with a mug ofuseless caffeine that she didn’t need, which she doesn’t drink, whichupsets me because she’s refusing my love language, which makes mefuck right off to my bedroom to fume because well I tried,leaving her alone again. Everyone suffers. And I mean everyone.

(so much suffering)

What the Hell Happened?

She prioritized time, which I wasn’tgiving her, because I didn’t just want to sit on the couch next toher and be awkward and useless, I wanted to help her (ie: do something for her).I prioritized actions and gestures, which she saw as incidentalthings, human shrapnel, and rejected because she had no use for themwhile so deep in her own belief that she wasn’t loved because Iwouldn’t even sit next to her and keep her company while she was obviously in pain. 

See how fuckedthat is? We were not only failing to speak one another’s languages, but our actual languages ended up triggering each other. Bad. Bad!!!!

Now, the first thing I do is ask if shewants a hug! I tell her I will sit with her for as long as she needs,whether we’re playing video games or whatever, and reaffirm that Ilove her and value her. Now, when I’m in a State, she’ll ask if I’veeaten, because she knows the first thing I do when I start dipping isskipping meals to punish myself. She brings me tea and badgers meabout food, and of course cuddles me to kingdom come, and mostimportantly she smartly, altruistically, and respectfully asks mewhat would make me feel loved in that moment, and goddamn if that doesn’t make me feel loved in and of itself.

Becoming Fluent in Another’s LoveLanguage

The key is realizing your companions’love language and understanding how it fits into your own, if itdoes. If your partner’s language differs from yours, you can eitherappeal to them using their love language or try to recognize how whatthey’re doing for you expresses their values and try to be cognizantof those actions. In my mind, taking the effort to learn yourpartner’s love language is the height of devotion and appreciationand wooing.

It is such a powerful thing to say“this makes me feel loved!” or “This is really important to me,which is why I thought you might like it!” It feels … selfish,almost, or egotistical, but with affection you are offering ofyourself. There’s room for you to be involved!

And there is no “wrong” way to loveor show affection! The only way things go wrong is if your unmetexpectations are hurting you, in which case you might need toreevaluate either where those expectations came from or the personyou’re with and the way they treat you (EX: wanting someone to checkin with you 20 times a day with “i love you you amazing creature”texts is on a different level of expectations from I would like mypartner to listen to me when I talk and she doesn’t, am I beingoutrageous?) or if the person you’re wooing is upset by the wayyou’re showing affection. For instance, some people don’t like hugs,and it takes two to hug, and sometimes it just bes like that. Find what makes them feel loved (which is also something you are comfortable and happy doing)!

It may take a little bit ofnegotiation, and it’s difficult at first whenever enacting somebody’slove language doesn’t “do” it for you, and of course youshouldn’t force yourself to do something that feels gross to you toplease another person (nononononononono), but we are very plastic, trainable creatures.I get what I call feedback happiness whenever I do something I knowmeans the world to Rae, even if it doesn’t push my buttons, and shetakes pride in knowing that I like tea when I’m sad, etc, and that inthose moments my love language takes priority because I’m in need, and that I’m worth it. 

Effort is love, sometimes. Most times, really, but the high is worthit :)

All This to Say: Get Talking!

It definitely sounds like there’s somebarriers or misunderstandings between you and those you’d like to befriends with … I remember back in the day, glomping was the heightof affection theatre and I fucking hated it (v sensitive about my neck and also fast motions and loud noises), but didn’t know how toask my friends to stop because I thought it was that or They Hate Me. I don’t believe there’s anyone you “justcan’t be friends with”, but you do have to sit back at a certainpoint and ask yourself if any relationship is fulfilling you enoughto continue it. If you aren’t finding pleasure and excitement in thebond or there’s no good compromise/effort between you to work on it,it may not be a priority to pursue.

So, I’d ask my friends – hey, youknow last time I did X, I wasn’t trying to scare you or make youuncomfortable. I guess I wanted to become closer, and that’s whatcloser means to me. Is there a way I can show you affection thatdoesn’t throw you off? What do you like to do? What makes you feelspecial? (Because I would like to make you feel special.) Encouragethem to talk about what they like and let them understand that you’re willing to go out of your way to communicate your love in a way they’ll Feel and Hear, and there’s pretty much no better feeling in the world than knowing someone likes you like that.

I’m sorry this turned into an essaybut!!! Important!!! I wish you the best of luck my love, know thatthere’s nothing wrong with you or how you relate, but that relatingtakes two, and takes time! Seek to understand what might be stopping them from seeing your affection for what it is, and come up with a compromise or shared language you CAN utilize. 

I hope this increases your happiness and worth and makes you feel great because thats what friendships should do! Murr!

#trauma #love language #relating #mental health #depression #important #demyrie talks #figuring out a shared love language #Anonymous