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#IDK I had some thoughts about stuff
mawofthemagnetar · 7 months
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So I was thinking about NameMC...
And this ensued. I may expand on this, we'll see.
“Oh, not again!” Impulse moaned.
Zed opened his mouth to ask what was happening, when the air in front of both of them shimmered. A four-bladed drone popped out of the walls between the worlds, and swiped a blue scanner beam over Impulse from head to toe. Before either hermit could react, the drone dove back into the crack in the air and vanished.
Impulse buried his face in his hands.
“I’m so tired of this, Zed. Just sick to death. I changed my shirt. So what?”
Zed nodded, leaning back on the rock he’d found. Impulse had indeed changed out of his dwarf costume and back into his familiar black t-shirt and cargo shorts. Impulse flicked his tail irritably, the yellow spines just below the surface sticking up just slightly in annoyance.
Zed swallowed, leaning back against the boulder at spawn.
“…I mean, isn’t that…doesn’t this happen to everyone?” Zed said cautiously, “you change your shirt, the drones pop out and scan you, and they go away again. Mate, you know as well as I do-“
“But- why?!” Impulse protested, “Here, look. Open your comm. Go to the index.”
Zed rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, I know, I know. The MC Lookbook. I know! You know I had people wearing my Ezed Kenized getup the day after I finished sewing it!...actually, hold on. On further reflection, you’ve got a point.”
Impulse flapped his wings irritably.
“Look, dude, I’m just. This is so frustrating. Is this even right? Like-“
A shout cut the air, and both men jerked their heads up.
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Cleo yelled, swinging her sword at a nearby drone, “THAT’S TOO BLOODY CLOSE!”
She’d changed out of her blue evening dress into the sportier getup she liked for the Life games, and Zed smiled sympathetically as the drone vanished into thin air.
“I just- like- is this okay?” Impulse asked slowly, “Are the people sending these things out- Like, I know, I know, I know it’s harmless. It’s just collecting stuff for the lookbook. I get it. But…”
“-but the drones once jumped Skizz as he was stepping out of a hot tub?” Zed snickered.
Impulse shuddered.
“Yeah. How do you think that red speedo ended up all over…you know what, nevermind.”
They both sighed, and Zed shook his head.
“Someday, I want to get a whole bunch of shirts.” Zed said slowly, “A whole bunch of jumpers, like this one. In all different colours, and then I’ll wear a different colour every day of the week. Not just a pile of forty brown jumpers like this one.”
“I want to wear black cargo shorts.” Impulse blurted out, “And I want to wear a wristwatch.”
They both fell silent.
Impulse glanced over at Zed, and a stab of fear lanced through his heart.
“…Zed? You’ve got that look on your face. I don’t like that look.”
“Hmm? Oh, nothing, nothing. I wasn’t thinking about anything. Well, maybe a few things. But anyway, enough about me! You! And Tango, but he’s still getting out of Decked Out. You two have fun with your silly traffic, you hear me?”
“Traff- oh. Yeah, I’ll have fun, don’t worry.” Impulse beamed, “I’ll be back after we’re done today’s game. It’s only like, three hours, Zed.”
Zed shook his head.
“Yeah, I know, but still. Be careful. Ren came back off his rocker awhile ago. Or was that something else? You know what, nevermind.”
Impulse chuckled, and an alarm went off on his comm.
“Alright, Well, nice chatting with you, Zed. Anyway, I gotta go.”
And with that, he selected the option to leave the server, and vanished.
<ImpulseSV has left the game.>
Zed stroked his chin, and slid off the boulder he was sitting on. This was giving him…ideas.
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koszmarnybudyn · 2 months
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So this song fits them so very well right?
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jade-len · 5 months
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i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.
picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.
it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.
and then he gets to the sword.
demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.
but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.
when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.
the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.
and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.
the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.
luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.
instead, he hears this:
"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."
but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.
"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."
"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."
"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."
"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"
somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.
weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.
xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.
it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.
sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.
maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.
maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.
"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.
hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."
xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.
...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.
(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)
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dollypopup · 1 year
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penelope, intentions, privacy, and the infantalization of innocence
or: a call to see Penelope as the complicated character she actually is
there has been, for some good time now, a sense in the general fandom space that hinges on Penelope being a perfect angel who did everything she did out of altruism, or a feeling of separating or minimizing her actions through Whistledown, divorcing her from her decisions (in the classic 'she had no choice' or 'no one listened to her as Pen' fabrications). and i am here to, once again, beg for a nuanced look at her, and in particular those who cared for her whom she hurt deeply
let's dig in
Lady Whistledown is Penelope's coping mechanism, and it is clear from the first article she wrote. Penelope is posturing, putting on a front. This first article is the root of her intentions, the core of what she hopes for, and the mold for which she wishes to be. Just read some of these lines
I know people better than they know themselves. I can see what is happening behind closed doors better than those behind them.
This is an act, a falsity. Penelope *doesn't* know more about people than they know about themselves. How could she? She is largely ignored by the general populace. She wrote this article before she was even out in society. She had little access to balls or information, her sisters debuted with her, and her mother and father weren't particularly popular members of the community. What Penelope knew of others, she knew from external observations.
This is where the falsification first begins: she can't possibly see what is happening behind closed doors, but she wants to. Penelope is an outsider wanting to look in, wanting to look in so deeply that she understands and knows others in intimate ways without putting in the hard work of gaining their trust. LW being published before Penelope is out in the general society is proof of Penelope's powerlessness in the general scheme of Mayfair: and she has a right to feel that way. She is not particularly cared for in her own family, nor is she listened to by them. She is angry. Her friendship with Eloise is one in which two girls who are both frustrated with their circumstances come to meet.
The fact that such a thing could be printed with, essentially, her allowance, is also proof that she is disregarded as she is. No one notices when she is gone, she is, by and large, invisible. As such, she doubles down on the power fantasy of Lady Whistledown.
Do not try to close your doors tighter to protect your privacy as I may already be inside. And thus I will slowly get inside each and everyone's head.
I don't know about you, but reading that is chilling. Though of course I am taking it with the modern perspective of living in an age where privacy continues to be stripped, there's something particularly cruel about insisting that you are inescapable. It's written in a way that is intended as a threat, followed by
No need to panic, I will be fair, gentle reader
and this is where Penelope's intentions come in. Do I believe she genuinely and truly wanted to be fair? Yes. Do I believe Penelope has a well developed sense of what fairness entails? ABSOLUTELY NOT. And she's not SUPPOSED to. Because Penelope also perpetuates her own invisibility, even in the midst of her pride in writing Whistledown. Penelope punches down repeatedly, but she does not think she is doing so. For Penelope the person, she is 'exposing the truth' in a general sense of hard hitting journalism, but Lady Whistledown, her persona, cultivated a power others don't have. When she wrote of the unnamed Modiste unfavorably, she ran her out of business: because LW has the power and privilege of being heard, the power and privilege to ruin lives and reputations, to sequester people to bad opinions and derision.
And one of the first people she does this to is her mum and her family, including herself. In the very first LW article, she mentions only the Featheringtons and the Bridgertons, along with one other lady, Miss Boltenston, who Penelope writes would be best for a suitor who prefers bedtime conversation as opposed to other activities.
Three misses. Foisted upon the marriage market like sorrowful sows by their tasteless, tactless dear mama-- the luckless souls.
Then, when discussing the Bridgertons, the only people who have been seen as being genuinely nice to her, she writes that they're perfect, full of refinement, "four perfectly handsome sons and four perfectly beautiful daughters. Yes. Perfect, indeed"
but this isn't meant to be a compliment. In particular when we go back and listen to Eloise's hunt for LW and her conversation with Penelope at her door.
"Whistledown is someone free and unencumbered by society, she is a single woman of means, better yet she is a widow who would be invited to all the events but not paid any attention, so while you are at the ball-"
"Eloise I do not care! People have real problems, mature problems, problems that have nothing to do with the secret identity of some silly writer. " "And you are so mature now?" "I am of age, I am out in society, therefor I have more important mature things to worry about." "Like what?" "Like marriage." "You do not care about marriage." "What if I do!? I do not expect you to understand. Not everyone can be a pretty Bridgerton."
There's a resentment that Penelope has for the Bridgertons. She loves them, absolutely, but we can't sit here and deny that Penelope isn't jealous and doesn't discuss it or dig deeper into those feelings to unwrap or unlearn them. There are reasons for it, of course, but this is a facet of her character that often gets overlooked. And it keeps her from opening up. To Colin and to Eloise.
I exhaust of the perfect Miss Penelope Featherington, always the victim of other people's harms, always doing everything she does because she's such a #good person. It leaves the door shut to her growth. Penelope has good INTENTIONS with bad outcomes. She hopes that she will, herself, not be corrupted by the power she so criticizes others for misusing, but she falls into the same pitfalls and that is compelling as hell to explore.
My intention is not to shed any blood but to shed some light on the true events in our society. My words, though might be hurtful, are not meant to be mean. They are meant to be fair . .be prepared to hear the truth about yourself and your kin.
I'm glad she acknowledged that her words would be hurtful, though she hides behind what she intends as opposed to the outcome. Because she absolutely did shed blood, she genuinely could have killed Marina with what she published. And after she does so, she comes back from it still owning that bloodshed, for she writes things such as 'sharpening my knives for you' and hailing her pen as a weapon. There's no indication she wrote to her cousin or offered any support or condolences. She has to ask Colin how Marina is doing, as though she does not know on her own.
Penelope wants to be a good person who does good things. But goodness is not black and white and Penelope falls deeper and deeper into her LW persona internally whilst pretending she is unchanged on the exterior.
There's a line in the book, when she says 'Maybe I grew up' and that's what I need from her in S3. This is, largely, a very long essay more so in response to a fandom version of Penelope than the real Penelope, because the show does show her actions as being wrong. Penelope cries and agonizes over her choices because she knows they aren't good, but she does them anyway because her idea of what should happen matters more than other people's agency in their decisions.
People talk about how Eloise was a bad friend to Penelope, how she didn't listen to her, but in reality, Penelope did not actually talk to her, save to tell her she has different life goals than Eloise does. So many moments in which Penelope could confide in her that she does not take.
In particularly, I think about after Penelope's father passes, and Eloise visits her. This comes at the heels of Penelope exposing Marina's pregnancy to the ton and publicly destroying Colin's engagement to her, as well as Eloise saving her from being caught by the Queen.
"The ones we love have the power to inflict the greatest scars. For what thing is more fragile than the human heart?"
And then Eloise comforting her. Telling her
"I am here, Pen, to help you to find a reason every day to enjoy in the absence of your dear Papa. I know you shall miss him."
to which Penelope replies with
"Share something good. What happened with Whistledown? Did you save Mdm. Delecroix?"
No discussion of how she actually feels, only a deflection, even as Eloise assures her she has a friend. But Penelope already knows what Eloise will tell her with this response, and also knows that she has the wrong idea of who Whistledown is, but she would rather have a conversation she knows the outcome to than spill open to her closest friend. That's lonely as hell. Penelope forces herself to be apart, as well. It's a behavior she needs to unlearn.
Penelope keeps her own secrets but cannot allow others to do so. She spirals in what she perceives to be her own powerlessness whilst her actions have the most impact, good and bad, upon near everyone in her vicinity.
Eloise tells her: "You are my friend, and I do not wish for secrets to set us apart" and though Penelope agrees, she does not confide in her. Even when it comes to Eloise's relationship to Theo and her burgeoning romantic feelings for him, something she confesses to Penelope, asking if she can relate, Penelope does not offer the same vulnerability. Instead, she insists that people already know about her relationship with Theo, and Eloise trusts her, though it's untrue. No one else was talking about Eloise and Theo, and yes, Penelope writing about her as LW was wrong and awful, but a more intimate pain she inflicted was that Penelope was encouraging Eloise away from him and away from her own feelings.
Eloise even tells Theo: "People are already talking about us" when they almost kiss as a reason for them to stop seeing each other. But no one is. This is a lie Penelope tells Eloise.
and this takes me to the final act of it all: People DO listen to Penelope. The people who MATTER listen to her and encourage her. There are constant discussions of how Eloise does not listen or how Colin didn't listen, but looking back at those conversations and interactions: Eloise and Colin listen to Penelope very closely, in fact.
Eloise repeats things Penelope says to her, trusts what she says. Yes, she is often talking to Penelope and 'using her as a sounding board' because that is what friends do. Balance comes when both parties do so. Penelope does not do the same back. She does not discuss, she does not say what she means, what she feels, what she believes.
And she does the same to Colin. Colin who wrote her letters for months. Colin who recognizes her intentions. Colin who talks to her about his hopes and plans, an action she does not reciprocate up until S2 when they talk after the botched wedding. Even when Colin asks how she's been after they meet for the first time that season, she lies and says it's all fine. This comes from an assumption from her that he doesn't care about her because he doesn't love her romantically, but Colin obviously cares a lot for Pen. Even in S1 he cares about her deeply and earnestly. I don't understand the narrative of him not listening to her, because I think he listens to and hears her more than almost anyone else does.
Even in this conversation
"I believe you deserve to know" "Is there something on my face? Has it been there all evening? It has hasn't it? Sorry, go on." "I have wanted to talk to you since the engagement was announced but we have always been in company" "So this is something about Marina?" "Her heart belongs to another." "What?" "His name is Sir George Crane, he is a first son, a soldier, they rent the neighboring properties in the country, I am sorry Colin, but I have seen their love letters. I thought you should know before it is too late." "You really are very good, you know that? Do you think that I would care she had fond feelings for another before we met? It would be rather rich of me considering I've flirted with half the girls in London at one point or another." "No, you misunderstand, this was no mere flirtation, Marina loves this man, she loves him still." "And yet she is marrying me."
This conversation is often cited as proof that Colin doesn't listen to her, but reading it: he is listening very clearly. She told him Marina loved someone else before, he replied that it doesn't matter (can we take a moment to applaud him for this, also? that's a really mature response from him) and then when she tries to clarify, she does so by telling him that she loves someone else. But that's not what she actually wants to say.
What she's saying is to dissolve the engagement and she believes Colin the kind of person who would cut ties with someone who loved someone else before, but he isn't. It's not that he isn't listening to her, it's that he IS and he isn't responding in the way she wants. This scene is ALSO Colin asking Penelope to understand him, to understand his choices, to support him as well. He ends this conversation with a plea: Trust me, Pen, do not fret. Asking for her to take him seriously. Instead of trusting him, trusting him to his decisions, trusting him with the truth, she instead takes matters back into her own hands.
Because what she publishes is
"As if the Featheringtons did not have enough to be dealing with, Miss Marina Thompson is with child. And she has been from the very first day she arrived in our fair city."
That is HEAPS different from what she talked to Colin about, but it solidifies her innocence to him, because at the core of it, she wants PARTS of what Whistledown is, but not all of it. She WANTS Colin to see her as good and she wants to have a soft love story with him, all at the cost of who she actually is. She sanitizes herself for Colin because she does not understand or cannot face that he already has affection for her as she already is, that she can trust him for who HE is. He isn't in love with her (yet) because she hasn't shown him who she is in her entirety, but he DOES love her, regardless.
(Which I think is so beautiful. Here is a person who refuses time and time again to be open and vulnerable (because of her own trauma and complications, no shade, we've all been there) and yet he sees that she's special and keeps opening the door for her to talk to him. Let it never be said that Colin doesn't have a special place for her in his heart, regardless of a SINGULAR comment of his that she heard out of context)
Colin and Eloise are constantly asking how she's doing, constantly leaning in to see what she says, and the brief moments in when she confides in them, they obviously keep it close and recognize those moments as being special. It's Penelope who has to contest with the mortifying ordeal of being known: and that is her character arc. Her character arc is not that she did nothing wrong because no one else would listen, they do, but even when they don't (and Marina doesn't HAVE to listen to her about dissolving the engagement. Marina had to look out for her own wellbeing and the wellbeing of her future family and she had every right to considering everyone proved to her that no one else will) Penelope has Eloise and Penelope has Colin, two people who care deeply for her. Who she has written about and betrayed trust in. Who she needs to apologize to and make amends. And no, an apology is not 'I'm sorry, but I did it because X', Eloise didn't want excuses from Pen, she wanted accountability, and she was right to demand it.
Because the beautiful thing is that we have ALL hurt our friends, we have all been the bad friend, and we have all fucked up immensely, and such things make us human and capable of change, something Penelope is continuously denied as a character in the uwu perfect baby narrative that gets cultivated.
I think this quote sums up her dissonance very well
"Perhaps I will come forward one day, though you must know dear reader, that decision should be left entirely up to me."
at the end of it, this is a conversation about trust and agency. Penelope upholds her own privacy, her own right to secrecy, and denies everyone else the same, including people who adore her. Colin and Eloise and Marina all become villains in this light as opposed to what they actually are: People with their own wants and dreams who also deserve their own right to privacy. And my personal hope is that with who LW is in the show, Penelope recognizes that she doesn't need that persona as a coping mechanism. Not in her friendship with Eloise and not in her romance with Colin. She does not need LW to be heard because she *is* heard. She only needs to say what she really means.
In her very first article, Penelope writes
"Hiding behind this paper is a brave person who can protect herself with a pen."
but when Eloise tells her she is "Sequestered here in this very room, writing your secret little scandal sheet, tarnishing everyone in town, all because you are too scared to stand up for yourself in reality" she takes that to heart and gets defensive and furious because at the core of things, it's TRUE. it hurt her *because* it was true. Penelope does NOT stand nor speak up for herself in the light, only in her writing. and it doesn't have to be that way.
her character arc is growing to the point where she can do so. where she no longer needs LW to speak on her opinions or how she feels, where she doesn't rely on it. her character arc IS to become brave. people ALREADY like her. they already see her insight as valuable. LW is a coping mechanism Penelope used because she thought no one else listened, but they prove her wrong and she has to grapple with that. she is loved and she needs to learn to accept it. she is loved and she did bad things. she can make mistakes and still be loved. she can own what she's done and know she is surrounded by people who care for her to the point of accountability.
and isn't that just so much more satisfying?
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kinos-fortress-2 · 3 months
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ok another headcanon and is from my ultimate comfort favs:
When demo got first hired by pauling he was like very shy and introverted at some point where everyone wasn’t like… that conjoined and besties as how they are now. And i feel like he got a pretty rough time to even start to talk with his teammates or get a tiny friendship with them.
And he often times was very threatened by small lady in glasses that liked to be strict with them in their first day since… it was business only ofc
but by the time when pauling got a bit more soft with them, and got also a bit friendly with demo i feel like at some point he started to develop a tiny crush with her since she was the one who often talks more with, and i have this other hc that also he would fell easily with people that befriends him (not like anyone of course it really does depends the person for him)
so you know pauling it’s nerdy and a bit sensitive (she cries very easily) and she is very friendly or a bit more extrovert if she gets to, but like in a sense where she is more ambivert too. uhhh idk she is just talkative with people if you get her chance where she’s not busy and will tell you to go to hell. rough lady
and he liked that! i think he thought they both shared some stuffs along and can infodump their love for guns and for the work they are in and then if they can go a bit personal with some drinks and he liked that he could share this stuffs with her all chill and cool
but i feel like he just had this side secret crush with her and stopped those want to be romantic feelings because he really saw she is not like, up to those stuffs, she is so focused on work and also stressed and depressed like him and he could just understand that she just only want someone to listen to her but she will not like, pay that much attention about romantic relationships and he could completely understand that once he get to know her more deeply. and he just couldn’t do that to the one who also considered a friend and he probably guessed she will not feel the same for him but that didn’t like hurt him and is not like he ever confessed to her. he just had those secret feelings for her for a time and then realized she was not really like the one for him to be in a relationship
and that’s where i thought of him now having a more soft spot for her and caring her like a sister (not like literally but in a familiar soft spot sense, but that’s ofc his friend)
so yeah idk 👍
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averlym · 8 months
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some very very quick costume shorthands!
#&juliet#had the absolute luck of watching this live the other night and it was. truly amazing!!! aaah#rough character designs for the younger leads (excluding like the Grown adult duos..) because?? idk#this is how it always starts. once the character designs start getting simplified like this that's when it all begins#which is hmmm timing but i really can't shut up about this musical it was so so fun. absolute vibes and energy#made me laugh and cry and was such an Experience. i adore them all but may specifically made me sob at some parts dfjkldfh#lots of thoughts! but one of the favs is how they wrote it so the existing songs and actions fit so well.#like in a rhyming bit they had frankie accept a drink and then the song was like ''drink in hand'' and i was all !!!!!!#also maybe it's local censorship? but there wasn't the kisses.. they replaced it w kissing hands and then holding hands#which is like a cute nod to the ''hand to hand holy palmers kiss' or smth but also maybe two guys doing that would not have made it past :/#oh my god i. the way rnj parallels the shakespeare duo... whdskjfhgh. may + not being a Girl kdjhgf. frankie and may. aaagh.#angelique being so so badass. i . the speech about Gender by anne and the Proposal by angelique both made the whole theatre cheer love that#also rotating stage lives in my mind rent free i ADORE the set holy moly.. also also the actors were so good. also the Projections.#also the music and costumes and special effects and aerial moments. and the ensemble. and the choreo#also the cast is so talented. and pretty. and the whole confidence part vs the vulnerability of some bits... whshjfgjkl. hhh#im just listing stuff now but it was so vibes. what an experience ever. it's also shot me directly into 14-years-old again so#spent the morning alone vibing to the soundtrack intensely... i just... sometimes things hold special places in your heart idk!!!#i don't know what to do with these designs though... like the show is such a lovely Spectacle but also idk where to branch out by myself no#there's so much to Absorb again and again. i get the feeling any true work from this i would do in a form of an animatic though.. oops#tldr? 1. &juliet very good just as itself 2. we have History 3. i got to see it live which always propels me into bonkers over musicals!#so so rough but i needed to get smth out and . whatever. an art blog is an art blog. back to hiatus now i think#<reminder to myself: this is essentially an artchive.. there's no quality control if you don't want it! have fun!! ily>
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thronealigned · 2 months
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iomedae girl i think you're inheriting the wrong things. girl i think there's a cycle
#also something about how iomedae was originally a paladin of arazni and galfrey was originally a paladin of aroden#and the hand of the inheritor was originally a servant of ragathiel#i've gotta get my hands on the original wotr adventure path books at some point#because the wiki does Not elaborate much on the circumstances of ttrpg-galfrey becoming iomedae's new herald#it just says she does it#nor does it elaborate on what happened to inheribro either#inheribro is a nickname i picked up from reddit. sorry#i'm assuming though it's the same as in the crpg- he's a miniboss and then either dies or is healed but doesnt return to his station#(unless youre on the angel path in which you Do convince him to keep being iomedae's herald)#well i mean it's in past tense i guess that's clear enough#anyway idk where i'm going with this. just a thought i had.. endless stream of servants replacing each other#my bet's on iomedae dying in the godsrain stuff btw this is mostly why. if i were writing it i couldnt resist#especially with arazni being the new addition to the core 20!!!! not that she'll be directly replacing the dead god like iomedae did aroden#but still. you understand you see the vision. i'll be sad though not getting to see what arazni & iomedae's dynamic as both full gods would#be.... not especially attached to any guess though i'm not suuuuper invested in pf2e#or pf1e/the actual ttrpg in general. on account of not being a ttrpg player (as much as i would like to be)#i just read the wiki & archives of nethys & the paizoblog stories#anyway goodnight for real#sorry the image formatting sucks btw
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httpiastri · 6 months
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Hi🤭👋
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGed83E5g/
You see It?! YOU HEAR IT?
He said he likes to be in control
Can you feed us a smut w dom Lando x younger sis of one of the drivers
Dom Lando🫠
i usually save requests in my inbox until i write them but i just had to share this
making me go feral honestly 🫠🫠🫠 what the frick? lando?? phrasing it like that???? oh my godddddd
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plposting · 1 year
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After Azran Legacy Descole was left with a lot of clothes, personal items, and various souvenir trinkets left behind by the other former passengers of the Bostonious none of which was ever properly retrieved due to the groups sudden parting.
Rather than throwing it all out Descole has been trying to covertly return all items back to their original owners and because it’s Descole he’s probably returning the objects and whatnot in the most complicated way possible over a period of time.
Auroras stuff in particular remains safely stored in a box on the Bostonious.
#professor Layton#jean descole#desmond sycamore#gens musings#wowie headcanons :)#azran legacy#i was thinking about how everyone in the bostonious crew was suckered into buying one of those popono souvenirs#and how Des was ultimately left with a hoard of them because there's no way that anyone got to properly collect their stuff#before having to rush off to the Azran sanctuary#thoroughly amused by the thought of Des trying to offload some of this stuff for way longer than needbe bc hes trying to be sneaky about it#like maybe he could just throw it away but absolutely has this lingering sense of guilt especially with more of the personal items#that would've belonged to the various members that he would now have context for#like idk Des is just standing over the trash with like a teddy bear that Luke owns n he cant bring himself to properly toss it#and raymonds like why dont we just mail them back#n des is like “akshdkajshdkjahsdkhasdk its stupud little beady little eyes have won this encounter- u win this time sir cuddles-”#“had i not known the context of your origins you would have been in a landfill by now”#wonder if emmy wouldve gotten any photos developed on their trip bc oooh the evil thought of des having to review them b4 sending them back#I think there was no attempt to toss auroras stuff at any point i think the guilt would actually kill him#most of her stuff would just comprised of souvenirs gained over the trip#HELP HELP HELP I ELABORATED TOO MUCH IN THE TAGS SORRY
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marsixm · 1 day
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i also think the fact that i had such a stunted and isolated upbringing and now that im an adult all my friends are on atypical life paths (and honestly even my friends as a kid were like this too) means i find things that are usually very common life stages really interesting. like knowing someone who has a house and a wife and 2 kids (with that wife) and a job with a salary feels like meeting fucking paul bunyun to me. or hearing the kids i work with talk about graduating high school and going to college and being on a real path with that stuff is neat? or even sometimes knowing cis/het people who are like going thru that coming of age stuff that i never really experienced the way you see it in the movies bc of transness/queerness/neurodivergence. its like woah they said the name of the thing in the thing. do u know what i mean???
#this actually reminds me of one of the girls at work whose been here for 2 yrs so i feel like im watching her grow up#shes graduating hs this year and shes really smart and she always asks questions like this#like picking ur brain about your life like 'what did you feel like growing up how was your family' etc#its kinda cool#she already got a degree bc of dual credit courses and an internship lined up and im so proud of her#and theres another girl her same age who came to me last night telling me her situationship just broke her heart#and they were both talking all about their prom dresses and all that stuff and were so excited last month#like idk i guess i just find it endearing#i think part of it is also that while these specific paths are thought of as common/default#there really is so much variance in life and really truly so many people not on those paths for so many reasons#which actually does loop around to making it seem strange#like truly how many people do you really know anymore who stayed at 1 job until they rose the ranks#who got married and had kids with that person and now they live in a house in the suburbs with some dogs and cats#like who does that anymore#meanwhile i think its just cool seeing kids actually experiencing growing up but in retrospect and not as a peer feeling confused & jealous#like woah youre a girl buying a dress and getting her hair done and texting a boy thats so wild ive never done that#or woah youre taking courses to prepare for college and know what degree youre going for#i no longer feel resentment that i felt left behind during all that shit when i was a teenager#im just happy for them and proud of them
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kaninchen-reblogs · 17 days
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I’m not entirely sure how to word this correctly cuz brain currently scrampled egg but I feel like being on the aro/ace spectrum as a transfem is incredibly frustrating when the majority of online transfem spaces are very hypersexual
Like on one hand, trans women are constantly told by society that they’re undesirable except when they’re objectified and chased, so the act of taking their sexualization into their own hands is super important and I’m legitimately glad that trans girls can find spaces online where they can be unabashedly horny in a liberating way.
On the other hand, you can’t look up “transgender” on this site without getting 80% porn bots and 20% discourse, I can’t share [animal]girl[bodypart] blogs to my ace friends without them being jumpscared by the most recent post being uncensored explicit imagery, and a big chunk of the online white anglo-centric transfem culture now is being super horny, alongside NEET-posting, blahaj, and striped socks.
Like I’m on the ace spectrum but I’m sex-positive and not bothered by the horny stuff so it doesn’t affect me too much. But I cannot imagine how alienating it must feel to be aromatic, asexual, and/or sex-repulsed as a transfem and your only other option is the sanitized, infantilized “uwu im anxious eepy baby with shark plush” meme-space. And I’m aware that HRT affects libido — ever since I started it, it’s definitely gone up, so I can’t blame people for needing an outlet.
I mean I guess that speaks to how you can never be “truly” inclusive in a space because something will always be exclusive to another person. Idk I just wish the world was safer for transfems from all walks of life, and there were more spaces for us to be proud of ourselves without it falling into “super horny”, “discourse”, or “ultra-sanitized”.
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essenceofarda · 18 days
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vixenicks · 1 month
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sorry for reblogging fugly trends from 2012 it's for my enrichment
#have i ever told u guys about my early 2010s fashion and pop culture fixation#i got a gen you ine aeropostle skirt recently ive never been happier#also gonna try and get my hands on some freshtops tanks#eventually#also their shorts though ive only found one secondhand listing in my size#i need the naked1 pallet or i'll die#its funny to me because like#yes within fashionblogging and lifestyle teen youtube girls from that era#consummerism was a massive thing (it still is but its so obvious when you look at blog archives and videos from that era)#youtubers with non disclosed sponsorships#bethany mota and amanda steele vaguely saying “this brand sent me this product to give to you guys!”#it was really just watching the birth of what we know as influencers today and its really interesting to me#theres a lack of cuts theres a lack of scripting theres long tangents#people were only just then realizing you can make money via haul videos and makeup tutorials#bethany mota had a fashion line at aeropostle purely because of her status as a youtuber#there was a big rise at the time of people being against flaunting overpriced designer during that time because of the recession#but there was still a hugggeee hold with consumerism and classism#hauls with brandy and f21 and ae like i cant afford that im sure you cant afford $600 at american eagle on a weekly basis#i have lots of thoughts idk#anyways backtracked#i think its funny because here i am talking about how horribly i need b&bw and vs pink#but like its all secondhand shit for $15 online now#nobody wants this stuff!!!!!! cycles!!! capitalism!!!! i dont know you get what i mean!!!!!!!!!!!#skyler posting
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cookinguptales · 6 months
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so... my current plan for this year's holidays is to do them alone. I'm just too tired to do any more air travel for a few months, so I'm gonna make do with the Philly-NYC area until next spring at the earliest.
and I've done Thanksgiving alone before, but never Christmas and New Year's.
personally speaking, my feelings about all three of those holidays is like... I'm not particularly into the "meaning" behind those holidays, but I do like the excuse to eat good food with my family. (for nye, we have fondue every year.) so I'll be a little sad to be alone, but I can still just... eat. lmao. and that's 90% of the fun for me.
NYE is pretty easy to cover; fondue is easy and I might even go to SNM for NYE. it'll be a fucking nightmare to find a hotel room on NYE in NYC, but if it's the last party they ever do... idk, I guess we'll see.
for Thanksgiving and Christmas... I learned last year, my first Thanksgiving on my own, that expecting yourself to cook a big meal on a specific day when you have a handful of chronic illnesses is just setting yourself up for failure. so my current plan is to find some restaurant that will let me pick up meals for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then just... slowly cook the rest of the foods I associate with the holidays for the rest of the season. turkeys and stuff will be on sale for the whole season, and it's not like they'll taste any better if I make myself one on November 30th.
so... I'm making a list of foods to attempt to cook (not at the same time!) over the course of the season, and I have the ones that my family usually eats... but what does your family usually eat this time of year? I think it might be fun to start incorporating new traditions into my old ones, and picking up some recipes from my friends might be a good first step.
(any holiday or tradition is fine, lmao. I'm not loyal to my holidays, for the most part, I just like eating with people. lmao)
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dumbstupidfandomblog · 9 months
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I feel like if Ashton met Lucien he would've been like "Man . .. . smoke some weed or something you need to calm down"
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fishyartist · 2 years
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some quick doodles, basic idea so far's that johnny+kitty were in a bike accident, 13 survived but kitty didnt. theyre seperated bcause of this for years and theyre bitter+edgy about it but after the portal open and events occur theyre able to reconnect because love wins! <3
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