#IM A FAGGOT THIS IS ABOUT FAGGOTRY | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

barbedwirechain · 8 months

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hi!!! I've been questioning some uncertainty in my identity and you were the first person on t I saw when I looked into the "butch fag" tag, I'm really curious about what it means to be butch and on testosterone, or being butch and navigating the world passing almost as a cis man? for lack of better terminology, sorry if it's not right.

I've been out as trans since I was a kid (almost 22 now.) and I've always went back and forth on my identity bc I don't relate with other trans men or cis men in general but I knew transitioning was what's right for me. detransition doesn't feel correct at all, I'm so happy being on testosterone. im uncertain in my sexuality but have always found comfort with lesbians and butches, and I've always felt the explanation of butch dysphoria sounded more clear to me than wanting to wake up with the body of a cis man. what I mean is I think I'm a butch fag but I don't know what that means, I don't know how or if I'm ready to come out with that. I'm afraid of my future with dating or navigating queer spaces if I claim to be butch or lesbian aligned while still presenting full beard and no desire to change that.

I don't know how to navigate exploring this at all, especially because lesbian spaces online kind of scare me since its so easy to end up following terfs if you don't know what to look for. I don't want to be harassed or make anyone else uncomfortable with my presence. I want to connect with other butches on T. do you know of anything I could do to reach this kind of understanding?

i’ll say if you already see uh butch fag in yourself or find whatever it is in me, in you you’ve already started to reach that understanding. exploring online spaces where you have unprecedented access to people with these more “complicated” identities (more accurately—identities that are generally less referenced than others or not recognized outside of the community for better and for worse) and hanging out in adult oriented city spaces helped extend my understanding of myself as butch.

the longer i understand myself as trans the more i’m comfortable frankensteining my identity (for uh lack of uh better term). i say this to explain why i call myself the most appropriate word for me “dykefag” but butch fag… or faggot butch (on T or not) has uh community precedent. there’s articles and quotes of people saying that term or uh form of it and they’re also transsexual and/or lesbian, although this was something i found only after seeing myself in the phrase.

i understood myself as uh dyke for most of my life and uh lesbian as the most neat version of my sexuality; dyke is something i’ve reclaimed being called that as uh child and call/ed myself that for over ten years now (aside from uh brief period of bisexuality). after being on T though for almost two years i noticed people are less likely to see me as uh dyke so that word begins to feel more personal and intimate for me. but butch?

butch is always exactly right. its not something i reclaimed or have complicated relationship to, i just am.

i am and i mean it with no irony or “meh”-ness; i am butch and i think i’ll die butch.

uh good two years after beginning to call myself butch and right after starting T I leaned into my lifelong attraction to butches, already holding an interest in “‘queer’ masculinities” via research in college. eventually i realized i wanted to be that. i wanted to be masculine ina way that never didnt hold uh layer of unspoken queerness. even in my current “mostly cis-man passing” form (i don’t take it as an insult, i present more masculine than androgynous like i used to for comfort and safety) i’m always butch. most people assume ima cis gay man or uh very hairy bulldyke and at some point i was like… these lines are so easily blurred because of how i decide to embody butchness, on purpose, and (what’s read as) faggotry through my attraction to other butch and queer masc people. i experienced the difference between dyke and fag fade away and began to tag my shit with dyke fag and butch fag to be in the same spaces as other gay trans people who had this line also fade away.

maintaining my attachment to being butch and loving butchness led me to follow “butch4butch” pages and explore butch4butch tags and see myself as a butch4butch gay more and more solidly. and the more i searched for butch4butch, the more i came across trans fags and nonbinary butch lesbians (and both!!). similar to going on tumblr in 2011 and finding out there were people who didn’t believe in the christian god, lex and tumblr specifically led me to uh set of trans people who embodied this faggot butchness, whether dyke (lesbian) or faggot (gay boy) identifying— not to mention all the gay boy dykes and the fagboy trannies. i found/find myself relating to their appreciation of masculinity and consideration of transness and gender noncomformity more than any other space, including ones that are for lesbians which, in my honest opinion, always end up catering to terf-bubbles or narcissist echo chambers that define themselves through gender essentialist ideas about masculinity/men of which i no longer see any viability in.

inside, exploring tags online or apps for Gay people who do Gay shit and have Sexy and Fucked up understandings of gender can help you understand yourself further by identifying and also dis-identifying with others without having to “conflict”. outside?… i rarely explain what i am. and for better or worse, i don’t try to. i let people think i’m whatever they think unless someone directly asks or when cis men try to approach me and to conceal my agab and also deny them i kinda just straight up lie and play cishet man. i recognize we exist under 20 million ___ or ___ binaries, both imaginary and tangible, new and old, outside and inside—shit even nonbinary and binary began to feel like another binary to me recently and the only thing that alleviates that is 1) going through butch(4butch) tags and seeing cis, trans, and who knows butches loving each other in coexisting without pretending they’re at war and 2) being in community with other dykesfags, or fagdykes, and butch faggots irl. and like, lesbians in person are also jus way more awesome. *whispers* like most people. i understand this is, unfortunately, only as easy as your access, space, transportation, and work and personal life allows. most of my adult queer experience is in non-sober spaces ina city that i lived around or in and that can't be disregarded or forgotten.

to wrap this up, i didnt look for em (us haha) til i felt i was one of them but We’re Everywhere. not uh majority but uh presence, and that’s enough. and if i’m being honest even if i never found any of these people, i felt so intensely about being uh butch faggot and uh dykefag i saw myself simply going with it—but going with it with the knowledge that it’s near impossible to make anything up at this point. someone has almost surely shared the idea or identity regardless of if they publicized it or let it be archived. and even as much of this response IS about that, i can’t overemphasize that even if it’s something you did made up, all alone, 200% you, the feeling is true, yea? the beauty of frankensteining your [trans] identity is seeing that you can kinda be whatever the shit you feel as long as it’s truly comfortable and honest to the time with reasonable respect to yourself and your community.

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rollercoasterwords · 1 year

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im curious as to ur opinions of queer (non lesbian) people using the d slur/f slur?

obviously not in like a degrading way tho lol

um. short answer is i don't really care xx

long answer is that dyke and faggot are both slurs that have historically been aimed at a variety of queer people, and i think it's stupid to try and draw lines in the sand about who gets to say what. like, if a homophobe sees a girl kissing another girl, they're not gonna stop and ask "hey are u a lesbian or bisexual" before calling her a dyke. yknow?

at the end of the day as with most queer discourse the answer to "who gets to say x" is just situational. obviously u shouldn't go around calling other people dykes and faggots unless u already know they're cool w u addressing them that way, but if u are someone who embraces a lifestyle of dykery + faggotry then idc what u say unless ur saying it in front of me, at which point i will judge whether or not i'm ok w what ur saying based on the context of the situation. so for me personally it's less abt the specific label a person uses and more abt whether they live a Queer lifestyle + practice queer politics tbh.

(also if u r sexy + hot ur welcome 2 call me both dyke and faggot. in a degrading way xoxo)

#ask #ranting and raving

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wodnes--coyotl · 4 months

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sometimes when im scared of being too effeminate and 'not passing', I think about all the wonderful gay men of LGBT history's past who were fruity pansy faggots and then i relish in the faggotry i once embraced when i was pre-transition, it would confuse and offend people who saw i was a "woman" and they'd PEARL CLUTCH, "b-b-but you're not a fag!" which was even more insulting but also slightly delightful. now i can lean into it again in a way which is nice. i often miss the boldness and confidence of my pre-T self. a lot of people say testosterone gives them more confidence, and maybe it could have, but transition has coincided with one of the weirdest most codependent times of my life... so for me I have withdrawn into my shell a lot, but I mean, I also moved states twice in two years and covid is still happening and ive been off and on employed and not had the money/resources for shit, so, hell, idk.

i still get misgendered, even on the phone, and a lot of times i forget that when people aggressively card me (im almost 30), it's because they can't tell my age for trans reasons also (and i have baby face and so do a lot of my family), and then they see my un-updated ID and kind of stare at me. this happened recently at a bar were I'm pretty sure the bartender was nb or transfem of some kind (and if she WASN'T well I sure as hell called it lol), and I didn't feel her judging at all, maybe just kinda realizing, but it was pretty funny to me.

Also recently a troll yelled at me that I was worthless because I was an effeminate man and I thought, finally, the iconic trans troll thing that happens where they cant tell, after 16 months, has happened! lmao

like thanks doll now with your validation i can be as cunty as i want

also i love tumblr bc i can still say faggot and shit i am SO tired of being censored, for the love of god, even the other day on reddit a gay man tried to tell me that 'butthurt' was a slur, i was like, it isnt, it never has been, and for the love of god, not only did i never think of what it meant originally lol, ITS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY STATE OF BEING...including me bc i often have ibs...

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neutroiis · 2 years

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Forgive my ignorance. What is a "baeddel"?

its an ancient medieval word roughly meaning something like 'faggot,' but if you see the term used here or on tumblr, it generally refers to a trans-inclusive radical feminist who believes that all oppression stems from transmisogyny.

this belief leads them to say a lot of extremely hostile things about trans men -- some baeddels don't even believe that trans men are as authentically trans as trans women. or they think that trans mens’ oppression isn't legitimate / doesn't exist. an example of a baeddel take is, "if you're AFAB you can't reclaim the word faggot, because you don't have the spiritual connection to faggotry that an AMAB person would have". other examples are more minor, to make them seem harmless: “trans man drag queens are fine if you dont have taste <3″ is a baeddel take (you can tell because it insinuates that trans men who attempt gender nonconformity are just failed women, rather than GNC men in their own right.)

this write up is handy, but i dont like that it implies that baeddels are a thing of the past. unfortunately, there are more of them than ever. and im sure any of them reading this will just call me a "theyfab aiden" or whatever it is they think, even though that implies im afab with 100% certainty (am i? maybe i am, maybe im not -- i dont disclose it. if you want to find my agab, i want you to have to work for it.)

some people think baeddels are an understandable reaction to rampant transmisogyny. those people don't know how to read. we don't excuse TERFs for their disgusting beliefs solely because they've encountered misogyny; we shouldn't do the same for radfems who happen to be trans women.

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gatedcommunityfish · 4 years

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hey yall !! im opening up submissions for the third issue of NANCY: A Trans Fag Zine Project

NANCY is a semi regularly produced zine that me n my friend saint put out together for n by trans faggots. to quote myself..

“this zine was conceived after merlin started researching old gay porn mags, really incredible porn mags where writing and thinking was put alongside and intertwined with the porn. and since we’re gay we think a lot about sexuality theoretically, and since we’re gay we also think a lot about fucking dudes. but we’re also trans, which means we think a lot about gender and gender’s relationship w sexuality critically, but also about fucking dudes. because it would be silly for us to pretend that our need to be seen as dudes to other dudes who want to fuck us as dudes isn't the reason we’re compelled to think academically/ critically/ theoretically about gender and sexuality. “nancy” is our contribution to the gay epistemological tradition. an erotic zine about trans faggotry.”

if you’re an artist and you think your work is related in some way to what we’ve got going on please reach out ! we take all kinds of writing and visual art, as long as we can get it in a zine somehow we want it. a lot of the work is explicit however so please only submit to Nancy if you are 18+.

if you're interested in submitting something you can message me here, or on discord @kierkegaawd#4964

there's no limit to how many times you can submit but people who have not previously been included will get priority

the previous two issues are on my blog under my “nancy” tag. as this is a labor of love and the work is communally sourced Nancy is 100% free, the only thing we ask is that if you’d rather get a hard copy than read it online you cover shipping

if you submit work you get a hard copy of the issue you're in shipped to you for free !!

even if you’re not a trans fag please spread the word ! we want to include as many people as possible so that our zine can continue to grow as a community project

thanks <3

#nancy #signal boost #trans #trans masc #trans fag #zine #fag #gay #idk how to tag things lol

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socksfagboy · 3 years

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When and with who (classmate, friend, tea,,ate, bully) were you with the first time you felt yourself treated as a faggot?

The first time i got treated like a faggot it was when i was around 14 years old and it was with a classmate - bully he was generally making fun of many schoolmates so i didnt usually paid much attention when He was bulling me and i was avoiding him. He was attreacted to him as i remember he was taller and i found him handsome. One day though the bullying me was kinda different than usuall and it really made me feel like a total inferior faggot and it really turned me on and of course i got a boner which i was trying to hide the rest of the day. At that age i was just fantasizing about faggotry but never got the chance to do anything but one day one classmate - bully so i was trying to watch socked feet anytime i got the chance especially during changing in the locker rooms for P.E. i remember i was tring to change as slow as i could so i could take small glimses of the socked feet of my classmate and also see them in their underwear. That day i was taking more than the usually time and i was kinda watching his socked feet a lot and he noticed that, he came to me and asked me what am i looking at and why his feet. i didnt say anything else and i continued changing to my gym clothes he got mad and told me that im a weirdo and took his one sock off and through it on my face. i froze and just let the sock fall to the ground without moving. i got hard but i was trying to play it cool and continue changing to my gym clothes. He just laughed again called me weirdo took his sock changed fast and left

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cowboyguts-moved · 5 years

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hey jo do you have a link to all your ocs backstories ?

https://cowboyguts.tumblr.com/post/183365830587/tell-me-about-your-new-ocs

i have a link to this post i just updated! it used to have outdated info about everyone but me and tristan fixed it just now. it’s not by any means everyone’s entire stories and doesnt mention major plot points but its enough to get you started with each of em. that post only has the characters that are in mystic overhang. some others arent talked about because they all live somewhere else and mystic overhang characters are talked about the most anyway. if anyone has questions about them or parts of their stories please ask because theres no way i coulda discussed it all in that post l o l

me and tristan are gonna make carrds (they’re just info pages) about everyone that we can even the ones that arent in mystic overhang later on

#Anonymous #oc link

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casan0vafrankenbutt · 5 years

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Some dude from ottawa: "youre trying to stop me from policing and enforcing white supremacist gender norms, and thats racist because im racialized. Youre a racist, faggot. Your faggotry is a racism. And i know you dont like that so whatcha gonna do now, sjw? You have to shut up or its racism."

.......lolllllllllllll

You realize ive dealt with guys like you before and seen how everyone around you reacts to your white supremacy....right? Like the people around you dont feel protected and stood up for when you act like a field marshall who needs new troops in the right color? So was i supposed to be intimidated into shutting up just because youre racialized and youre saying x or y is racism? Who does that work on? Kids who've never lived outside suburbia? I know it doesnt work so well in your neck of the woods, it probably doesnt even get you laid, thats why youre mad. Oh maybe you did a degree that covered how racism and colonialism work? They must have given you different material than when i did my degrees in marxist pomo land. I did two, it was great. Highly rcommended. Ive read a lot of treatise by racialized people (which according to you makes them automatically right and questioning them is racism? Or are they "sell-outs" you dont have to hear from?) on how white supremacy gets adopted and recirculated within communities, the ideological colonialism that ends up destroying cultures even as debates about blood quantum and skin color (and other nazi race science/white government-level categorization methods) rage, the people using the categories applying these imported and destructive concepts with gusto like its armor. And wondering why the armor is pale dust, why putting it on seems to make things worse.

And i bet you dont like hearing about it. All the words of elders that fell and fall on deaf ears except for the people who looked up what they had to say.

No you just want to go around telling people its not racist for you to dump on your own people the same exact way the whites do, because when you do it youre just keeping the gene pool clean from traitors or whatever the fuck and when the whites do it its for sport or something, and maybe they'd stop if they could tell more of you were like them? Something like that is what to the wiser aunties around you, it looks like its really all about when you say this stuff; hiding behind an alien, destructive patriarchy so it wont snap on you. Snapping on people so youre not the one snapped on for "not being enough of a man", a "real man", a white man. A socially functional psychopath.

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