#IVE LITERALLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR MORE THAN 12 HOURS NOW I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND PLANS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

phopollo · 5 months

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HAD A SUPER SILLY IN BETWEEN SEASONS IDEA FOR HILDA, HEAR ME OUT;

2 week summer sleep away camp

BUT KEEP HEARING ME OUT, BECAUSE

Pov:

You're being introduced to the camp counselors on the first day

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onlyjaeyun · 14 days

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i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

#; mailbox 📬#; cold hearts

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tinyperson00 · 15 days

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Anyone know anything about this?

I havnt slept in weeks....

I think I actually might have like fatal insomnia or something like that

I finally looked into my insomnia cause it was getting out of hand and I wish I hadn't because nearly all the symptoms of fatal insomnia are ones that I have 😭

Ive always had insomnia like since I was 5 or something but like.. I physically havnt slept in weeks now its only like 10 hours per week total (meaning around 1.4 hours per night) and thats just when Im in a light sleep.. I have no idea if im actually sleeping

ive been laying here since around 8:30 and its now 12:35am

hopefully im just overthinking this.. but like I seriously need to sleep. Ive tried literally everything and still rarely stay asleep for more than 2 hours or so in a very light sleep

#bored #avoiding sleep #Help #anyone know?#insomnia #this might actually be the cause of a lot #Of my illnesses and injuries lately in the #Past few months as well now that I #Am thinking about it

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oncominggstorm · 6 months

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Im autistic & adhd. Also have undiagnosed physical health issues which been acting up lately. Really not doing well, need help. Currently in shutdown, include verbal shutdown. And struggling type, forgive grammar plz. Need help & support, but is none. Don’t know what do. Everything feel impossible. Long vent under cut.

Want run away, somewhere no one can find. Somewhere quiet & alone, with internet & tv so can watch comfort shows, play comfort games, etc. But will turn off phone, or get new number, or just block all family except younger sister on everything, or something, idk. Want comfy bed & comfy chairs & good temperature control & good food, and just quiet & solitude. Preferably somewhere out in nature. Let everyone figure out their own shit without me. Can’t do this anymore. ONLY things keeping me from doing are younger sister & lack of money. Mom & twin sister need figure shit out on own, can’t handle anymore. Can’t do.

Dont have a job or any money at all, literally only have $5 (and well over $20k in credit card debt, in collections). Am in autistic burnout & have been for nearly 3 years now. Had quit job in May cuz burnout so bad. But still expected take care of entire family.

Live with dad & twin sister (will call twin). Dad extremely NT & able bodied, dont understand me/twin at all. Knows nothing about autism/adhd & unwilling to learn. Pays bills & does chores so that is helpful, but not willing do any other support. Doesn’t believe in mental health.

Mom & younger sister (will call younger) live with grandma. Younger is 12 yrs younger, i basically raised. Feel almost more like parent than sister. Also is best friend & person i care most about in world, would die for her. Hate seeing her suffer. Twin & younger both also autistic & adhd, and neither have job. Grandma has moderate (bordering on advanced) dementia & need 24/7 supervision & support. Younger currently has busted knee, on crutches & really struggling & lot of pain. Mom refusing to believe is as bad as is, thinks younger is exaggerating, barely helping her. Ive been having drive over nearly daily to help. Mom had multiple strokes 2 years ago, still has both cognitive & physical challenges as result, & just lost job. Mom almost deffo undiagnosed autistic/adhd but refuses to believe. Doesnt believe younger is either (she still undiagnosed, me & twin formal diagnosed recently). Mom never great person, but got much worse after strokes, is mean & bordering on verbally abusive to us (and is DEFFO verbal abusive to grandma). Also has horrible memory & cognitive issues, doesnt understand things correctly, half of what she says doesn’t make sense, makes helping her hard.

Twin sick rn, lots of stomach issue & pain. Found out few months ago has enlarged spleen, but no answer yet, cant see specialist til Dec. Twin also has medical anxiety, so hard to know for sure what is real & what isnt. Every day twin ask me for MULTIPLE favors; get things for her, do things for her, etc. Also get MULTIPLE txts every day complaining about not feeling well, yet she refuse go doctors. Counted once a few days ago: in 11 hour period, asked for 7 favors & texted 13 times about pain.

Even when not sick tho, twin basically never help. Feels like she think I “less disabled” than her, not true. I doing horribly and still have take care everyone else while she sits on couch play video games & ask me to bring her things. No one ever bring ME things. Twin NEVER return favor no matter how bad I do/how well she do. One sided only.

Today twin ask for SO MANY THINGS, CONSTANTLY. Doesnt seem to care that I not doing well either & just CANNOT handle, keeps asking anyway. I tell her how bad am doing & immediately she ask for more favors. Won’t shut up about how sick she is (feeling very “wrong” w/stomach issues, has enlarged spleen but don’t know why yet & is worried that is cause), and says she is NOT OK, and that something is VERY wrong & she is worried she is dying, but also won’t get her ass to ER. Also expect /ME/ take her AND go in with, if decides go. Told her has to ask mom or dad first. Now just won’t go, and instead just keep complain to me about how bad doing & keep asking for help with stuff.

On top of that, am constant worried about all shit mom needs to do: get grandma house in her name so can keep (rn bank gets when grandma dies due to 2nd mortgage or something idk, which will make mom & younger homeless), get grandma car in her name (mom hasnt had own car in like 6+ yrs, just uses gma’s), figure out her unemployment (applied but no check yet cuz needs submit weekly proof of job applications & doesnt know how), get guardianship for grandma (mom never even got power of attorney, and is too late now cuz grandma cant understand to sign, so rn we just stuck cuz grandma not capable make decisions, but legally we cant make for her either), update her resume, get help for grandma, etc. Most of it fall to me. Mom kind of person who just WILL NOT do things, no matter how much help u give (ex: was trying get her accommodations for her job after strokes so wouldnt lose job. Explained process multiple times, both verbally & in writing. Figured out who she needed contact for help & wrote out email for her, ALL she had do was copy & paste & send email. Didnt do it. Now fired cuz couldnt keep up w/out accommodations). Mom also no longer even ask for help, just tells us we are doing. Ex: said to me “I’m going to come over tomorrow so you can help me do my job searches for unemployment.” Just tells me I’m doing it, not even ask. Sick of it. Grandma have dementia, at point where cannot even shower or wash hands, we have no support at all, doing everything ourselves. ADRC says only way to get grandma help is to put lien on her house & sell to pay off when she dies, but mom & younger live with grandma so that would make them homeless once she dies. Says we can’t even get occasional respite care unless give up house, let alone regular in home care.

Just can’t handle anymore. Feel like am being broke into thousand pieces, or crushed by thousand lb weights. Feel stuck. Feel like no choices, no good options, no way out. Want run away. Want take younger & her cat & find cabin in woods somewhere & just go run away from everything/everyone else. But can’t, no money. Feel so stuck. No help. No support. Don’t know what do.

#will probably delete this later but rn feel stuck & DESPERATE for help/ideas/suggestions #vent #autism #adhd #rant

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doctor-says-im-alright · 2 months

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Ive been wondering lately if I really do have bipolar with psychotic features or if I have schizoaffective. Idk why the idea of bipolar though is so offensive to me lol. I think its because I never really feel grandiose and thats just an unfair part of the bargain.

The main difference I found is psychosis symptoms outside of mood episodes. Ive been trying to figure that out, but as my moods are really long, Im not sure. I was thinking maybe that is true because this year I seem to launch into paranoia in a single afternoon instead of over months. But thats associated with a stressed mood, not anything neutral? Idk. My paranoia is generally after Ive become fully stressed, but honestly, it is possible I have delusions constantly. How do you even know? I know I have OCD but I am so fixated on death that it might be more delusional than just OCD - like I do have rituals but its mainly just stressful thoughts that Im being haunted and the proof was a dead bug.

But the past week I noticed I shifted into a different phase. Im suddenly energetic or agitated. Like laughing hysterically, talking a lot, becoming really upset or angry, sad, overwhelmed, and constantly unreasonably scared. Everything is a threat. I seem to be really focused on fires happening for some reason. I am sleeping way more than normal, actually my sleep is suddenly really stressful. I dont go to sleep unless I take meds but thats normal for me, but now I cant get up. Ill wake up and its like Im magnetised to the bed and am stuck for awhile until I actually wake up. I sleep 12-14 hours but when I look at my Fitbit data its somehow only 5-6 hours in that time Im asleep. I know it, too. Its like Im not asleep and am in my room but dreaming in it. I didnt even realize I was so upset about this until I saw a post by someone talking about training their service dog to wake them up properly and asking how to do it and I could cry with the relief if I could figure out something mine could do to help me with it.

I generally always get told Im too self aware to have any psychosis issues and I think Im good at sounding self aware but Im actually not at all. I have no idea what Im thinking or feeling, Im guessing based on any knee jerk things that may have come out. Like last year I was in the psych ward for paranoia, but I hadnt even noticed or was able to communicate, but can see it now, that I was actually in danger of attacking people because I believed they were going to kill me first, and that had been my motivation to go in. And it wasnt even the person I said I was paranoid of.

I cant even figure out if my hand hurts or not. I have no idea what Im thinking or feeling. I know Im jumpy and on level 100 of agitation. I just suddenly start crying, Im overwhelmed with proofs of life and death. If someone tells me a joke I literally cry laughing. My words are mixing up and I feel like I cant say anything. I read things Ive written and even Im like what?? What does that even say. I know I am having PTSD symptoms - thats a given with me. I know for months Ive been hyperfocused on it, its been a source of anger outbursts.

Like for some reason the thought of romance or sex or any relationship sends me into a flying rage. My dog licking my other dog disturbs me so deeply I immediately lose it and have to run outside or throw something. People talking about love and needing people makes me feel so revolted. Ive been half dating someone and they mentioned kissing and Im ready to set myself and everyone else on fire. I cant stand the thought of desire and needing someone and craving them it is disturbing and I want to be sick thinking about it. But Im not normally like this at all. Not at all.

I am asexual and aromantic and my friend keeps making sex jokes and referencing my being asexual and I swear to god Im going to throw up on him or hit him with a wooden spoon. Havent decided yet.

#does anyone else get disturbed by proofs of life #i made a list recently #mainly food bothers me the most #like people being hungry or eating just sparks deep fear in me because that proves they are alive and its a risk #its the strangest thing #because it can also completely snap me out of a rage episode #like if im mad at someone and I see them #pouring a glass of water #then i am suddenly desperately sad and scared instead of angry #how can you hate someone who is pouring a glass of water #half eaten food in the fridge is one of the most disturbing to me #but also the back of the head is a proof of life and terrible

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3style3 · 11 months

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rant about the whole "ai is the future" that techbros keep spewing and why i think its stupid and incorrect and that we will absolutely be fine. read below the cut if u wanna hear my techy rant.

ai does not have the five senses, it cannot taste, hear, smell, touch or if you wanna get technical, THINK. all it knows is anything spoonfed to it and anything it “generates” is an amalgamation of everything its been spoonfed. it cannot make a perfect recipe (cant taste, smell, see), generate good sounding music (cant hear), all art it generates is well.. a literal mashup / collage of preexisting works (cant be creative without being given prompts and prexisting artwork), its a parody of existing works more than it is actual art. (see: definition of parody) it cannot create new sewing patterns (cant see, cant test it in a 3d space) nor can it write good literature (cant think, memory limits, only knows what its told). ai literature is becoming increasingly easier to sniff out by anyone who has written or studied literature in any capacity given it only writer colleen hoover esque work or something akin to a 14 year old on wattpad. (if someone presents me actual writing vs ai writing, with some looking into it i could easily sniff it out given how repetitive & unsure of itself it can be, source: ive tried writing storylines with it and it began "calling back" details that never happened within the story)

chatgpt will 100% be paywalled once it gets all the info it needs from self proclaimed alphamales who think lifting weights or waking up just an hour before school (those “wake up at 5 am videos “ ring a bell?? newsflash i was waking up at 4 am during highschool & even after; you are not cool) makes them cool (lol) and techbros on twitter who Mind you are never professionals in the field. theyre always whining about the downfall of nfts (something my dad (PROFESSIONAL) and i (hobbyist) forsaw, by the way) with no company that they own or even work for listed.

nobody smart in the industry who has been in it for more than 2 years genuinely believes ai is taking over. it quite literally cannot replace people who create clothing, ORIGINAL artwork that has never been seen before, musicians, engineers, service workers (only so much a robot can do to solve a customers problem!) human connections (current chatbots are going through their downfalls as we speak). not to mention the privacy risk that people are increasingly becoming concerned about (ie. how people are reacting to “windows 12 ai”)

is ai advancing? absolutely. no doubt about it. will it become anything more than just an assistant to humans? absolutely not. remember when people were convinced that synthesizers would end musicians as we know it and it simply became a tool to assist us? remember when people thought that digital art was going to end all artists as we know it.. and it simply became another medium? remember all the times we thought computers were gonna replace humans and it never did? remember when people were CONVINCED nfts were the absolute end all be all, and it DIED as nothing more than a fad? thats the exact path ai is taking. ai has always been around but now its advancing and that intimidates people, but it shouldnt, because without humans adding variables and inputs, it is literally useless. it is a robot that quite literally cannot work alone. we are fine. techbros are fucking idiots.

#blog #techbros are stupid

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askfallenroyalty · 2 years

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im getting really off-track here and am sorry to disturb from the main storyline but im very curious what fate ralsei holds in your universe because i think? this is one of the most unique endings i saw him getting? not that ive seen much besides all of the fountains closing or rals being a villain/someone from ut partially i just wanna know how he's doing. he seemed so disappointed when leaving

oh! i can actually show it. i WANT to clean up and make the drawn comic panels i did on the dark world stream publicly available but i just never find the time for it KLFLSf it'd be a bit of an effort because i didn't know to use the webtoon feature so everything is by a LARGE folder instead of separate canvases... wild i used to work that way. hell on earth.

ok so. I WILL transcribe this comic when i do the above ^ so apologies to those who need it for now. under the cut is Ralsei's ending, minus most of the context. i want to emphasizes, THIS IS A TEMPORARY POSTING LMAO. it will be accessible and fully contextualized later

Uh. Spoilers for Darkworld Arc (the Sam's Biggest Mistake in AFR History Arc). Does it count as a spoiler if i'm a lazy ass who hasn't gotten around to cleaning this story up?

again transcript will be added in the actual release. alongside the unfinished "music" video (the audio was never composed as the vid wasn't finshed.) it has SOME merit tho.

After the Big Battle with Gaster the knight returns (is anyone surprised? no) and posseses Lancer to help give an epilogue to the kids.

(skipping ahead a little because i DO want this scene to mostly be unspoiled, even after all this time)

...apparently this is where either my tablet died again or i was burnt out after drawing for like, idk, 12 hours on stream SKFJSLDF. this is the last panel.

mwuah. a master piece.

ANYWAY. Ralsie (at this point he's been reunited with the kids at the end of the battle. i DO have art for that but i'm just going to show the aftermath)

anyway with Tazetta being crowned princess and given a fresh new life, (again, details vauge cause it's a cute scene that works best with full context) she and ralsei are set up to be new siblings -a brother and a sister!

Kris and Susie got the chance to be proper heroes to defeat Gaster (saving Ralsie in the process) so everyone's on good terms -Susie feels redeemed for attacking Feylow and Knight-Kris (Knis???), Kris got a big Hero Moment and feels validated in their ability to choose their destiny, Ralsei gets to feel the prophecy wasn't a total lie, and he's been given a full chance to live his own life now without the Knight being a turd about it

anyway with the Knight

(AGAIN trying my best not to spoil the scene (fine with talking story beats but not in detail) so deal with being out of context as possible) the knight literally ends the fight by putting gaster in a time out and deciding to become a better person for the darkner's benefit.

yeah. jeeze. really wild how chapter 2 completely recontextualized things huh.

Also, since it's been a year :grimace emoji: i can saftely say the knight is WAY out of character and way to nice and "forgivable" in this dark world. back then I was thinking: "hm, maybe the Knight can be more redeemed and once in Darkworld, they could have a change of heart :)"

yeah thats. that's WAY off the table for Angel's Lullaby as it is now. the "will they or won't they redeem themself" is still on the table but its a WAY bigger fight to accomplish (or fail) than what was depicted here, sharing Kris' SOUL or not.

I think i was just toying with the idea of the Knight's redemption to foreshadow Asriel being flowey and not believing their SOUL was real. I felt this would help justify/foreshadow why Asriel was wrong ahead of time. or something. now i just think it hurts the story by having the knight involved, it undermines that story's intentional confusion if Asriel was right or not a ton!

yeah a big reason why the DW arc was Bad was because 1) outdated for both Angel's AND deltarune LMAO 2) bad in context of Asriel's arc 3) Feylow is kinda a big mess and overly ambitious of a writing metaphor for my skill level at the time 4) litearllyyyy hate the narrative i built for frisk and ralsei and i couldn't really salvage that x-x

ANYWAY sorry for the mean tangent. hopefully this gave you some insight to Ralsei's story arc even if I didn't show the full extent of it

#ooc #tbd #for real this is a temp post this actually WILL be deleted lmao

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fratboykate · 2 years

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How are you so fast at writing? It seriously blow my mind.

lol remember when I cranked out the first 100k of cfau in like 7 days or something??? that's two novels lololol. i've always been an insanely fast writer if...im feeling it. ive written features in five days. i'll literally wake up one random morning and be like "shiiiiiiiit, this is a cool idea for a movie!" and then i sit down and just...write it. less than a week later, i have a first complete draft. we're talking like 120-130 page script from conception to "fade to black". i also don't think the first draft of a pilot has ever taken me more than 6-7 days to write.

obviously, that's not how it's going to go out the door and it needs rewrites and polishes, but once I have a complete first draft of anything, the rest is a breeze. I can do a full pass of changes in 12-16 hours. my agent has told me more than once: "i mean this in the best way possible, but you're a fucking freak." she says that because most clients they have write maybe one script a year or every two years. if i remember correctly, last year i wrote two features, four pilots, and three pitch decks for things that we can go out and pitch but that i don't want to write a script for because it doesnt make sense to have a script for it yet. and that's just the shit that makes it to script/deck. all the time i'm calling my reps up like "what do you think of this idea?" and they're either going to go 1) "that's awesome. bring me a script or a pitch." (most of the time I already have it lol) 2) "it's great, but that would never sell right now. the market/buyers are not leaning that way. table it and we can revisit." or 3) "you need to go back to the drawing board on that." im CONSTANTLY giving them new shit to take out just because of how freakishly fast i write. ive had execs tell me: "you know you don't have to turn in rewrites within 24 hours, right??? like......we're not expecting that??? no one does that???" and im like..."but it was done. why wouldn't i deliver it?" lol

but that's IF I'M FEELING IT. sometimes i get stuck or i am not connecting to the characters after a certain point in the story. if i lose the thread, then there's an issue. there are a couple things on my "to-do" right now that have been there for ages because im not feeling them. at the very top of the year, i told my agents/managers "no more comedy" because everything that's on the pile right now is comedy shit that i sold as pitches last year. they're great ideas that people are excited about, but now i get to the script and im like "ah fuck...why did i do that??? im not a comedy writer" lol

but yeah, i cant explain it. everyone in real life thinks im a freak of nature or something, but im not complaining. it's definitely a weird skill that im veeeeeeeeeeeeeryyyyyyyy thankful for. makes my job so much easier.

#rants #anonymous #answers #tbd

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nutzworth · 5 days

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its been another month.

DAY 7: APRIL 21, 2024

STATS: read for 1 hour and 30 minutes pages read: 1592-1683. 91 pgs. HELP!!!!!!!!! slur count: 12 + 1 = 13 (dave. r slur) silly count: 12 + 1 = 13 (hussie, about jacks clown garment) (i keep forgetting this stat....) piss count: 2/3

THOUGHTS: since i read literally under 100 pages i wont have much to say hopefully. which is good cus i have school tomorrow and its getting late

summary for this readthrough is regular act 4 shenanigans. lots of pesterlogs. jumping around all over the place. davesprite is there

FIRST MATTER OF BUSINESS: theyre all so cute. theyre all SO ADORABLE!!!! rose and kanaya / john and karkat / john and terezi / dave and terezi / rose and jade / rose and jaspersprite I COULD GO ON. I LOVE THEM ALL!!!! theyre just kids theyre so cute theyre SO cute i love it when they talk

tavros rapped at dave and it was the worst rap ive ever read. like seriously ever. how did he get WORSE at rapping. i swear his rap with gamzee was so much better but we will see. 0/10 for tavros and daves rap

got some wq and pm lore... theyre so awesome. pm really walked up to her queen and was like hey so um i was told i need to kill you. but i dont want to. and thw queen was like yeah okay. im abdicating so you can do this ok. good luck. i love them.... theyre so awesome i love pm so much

jaspersprite is adorable. DAVESPRITE IS HERE. WOOOOOOO!!!!! i didnt expect to see him so soon i thought for sure there was more waiting around between rose and dave in the doomed timeline but damn i guess not. its like heres a flash of the land of heat and clockwork and dave kicking ass then BAM "hey rose i think i will go back in time now" like jesus. thats what fanfiction is for i guess. to expand on their doomed session

the whole davesprite situation is the coolest thing ever and i dont know how else to show that. i think its so awesome. rose dreaming to get her past self to dream earlier. dave going back in time and dropping all his shit then hopping in the sprite. dave and davesprite talking to john. pchooooo as a code for an item. john being crazy

first instance of H3Y D4V3 1S TH1S YOU is here i think. unless im crazy. its between terezi and davesprite which shocks me. unless im crazy

then we get the first hussie cameo and the first recap. WHEW! of course i read it all thats probably why i only read 90 pages. spent half an hour reading ONE page

it was informative though. i learned that the exile labs that the exiles find and have the terminals in ARE REMINISCENT OF THE KIDS' TOTEM ITEMS! TO GET IN THE GAME! like wv's is the WINE BOTTLE CORK. from the crater made by rose's meteor. and pm's is THE APPLE!!! FROM JOHN! johns crater had this big tree apparently and there was an apple. and thats what pm's worms are! theyre WORMS IN AN APPLE! and ar's is the frog temple obviously and wq's is the EGGY LOOKING THING! LIKE DAVE'S EGG! or "seppucrow"s egg i thought that was a funny name to call it

i also learned snowman is the black queen which seems obvious if you think for like more than 2 seconds about the whole thing. like obviously. if spades slick is literally jack noir and slick has a kismesis with snowman and noir has a kismesis with bq then like obviously. what was i even thinking

hussie's blogpost story about his horse painting is awesome. i cant read it right now cus im tired and need to get this out but i will sometime later

will i read again soon? thats for me to know. and you to find out. thanks everypony

#me #nutzworth hs reread #last time i said “maybe ill read during spring break” and i so totally didnt #i was paralyzed with over-break homework #which is cruel. but you know. its what happens.#see you later everyone

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frostbite-the-bat · 7 months

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urgh. im not gonna be able to shut up about this now just due to how much it hurt me. i can't believe i got basically laughed at and belittled for not knowing how things work after FINALLY. ***FINALLY*** speaking up to my mom about my pains and how i should seek a doctor - not mentioning everything yet and just speaking on my hands and the carpal tunnel shit ive had for a year straight (notably, since i had covid!!!) and that i can't do much in a work place since that's what i'm in the process of finding. i was told if there's issues to speak up on them, but i cannot do that without anything from a doctor. i can't do that without the help of my parents despite being an adult now. if i did have the strength - i'd have to do it behind their backs and lie.

basically denied any and all support and laughed in my face, because "its because you sit and draw at the computer for 12 hours" and "its okay ive had this for 20 years and i work fine" nonoononon ur not supposed to be in constant pain!!! even if its caused by me being 'just unfit' and 'drawing all day' to the point i cause harm to my hands - it's still pain to be looked at!! even regular ol carpal tunnel should be checked!!

but for me it took me a year to realize it's more than that and almost my whole body is affected and i'd like to not only have it confirmed by doctors - but also get help that way!! i cannot work normally like this!! i coudln't do that even at practice (where i had way less rights i mind you. i couldnt do anything i was under the thumb of my teachers. at work i can just..quit.)

finally after everything...i speak up. and what do i get? laughed at my face and belittled. as always. this is fucking why i don't trust anyone. this is why my parents don't know anything at me. i'm a joke to them. anytime i speak up about anything small or big - i am ignored and pushed to the side as either "too sensitive" or that "thats not a problem". seriously all health problems to show up are ONLY treated at home. never at a doctor.

oh try to set boundaries? omg ur so sensitive i was JOKING ur so whiny. so sensitive. arent u an adult now? jesus.

like do they realize this is the reason why i don't speak up ever. why i am the way i am? just because you can't see it or feel it doesn't mean it's real. just because it 'CAN BE CURED AT HOME' doesn't mean i shouldn't see a doctor about it. (not to mention my mental health - physical health issues are more frequent. my emotional needs and my boundaries and comfort has always, ALWAYS, been ignored and belittled)

i know literally nothing about how this world works, i cannot just leave, i'd doom myself. that's why i gotta deal with this a little longer. and it's fucking agonizing especially as of today to have even more confirmations that my issues aren't gonna be taken seriously. oh im too hyperactive and silly to have REAL problems.

i fucking hate this and i'm getting really bad thoughts again, ones that i haven't had in forever. like. if i was hurt more people would listen to me, finally. like hurt and abused harder or having some accident happen to me. maybe then they'd listen. i wouldn't let that happen, of course. but i think about it sometimes. maybe then it'd be serious enough for me to be taken seriously, too. i'm so tired of this.

is support from the only people i have in my physical life aside from my ONLY friend too much to ask for? i'd say 'then they wonder why i spend all day online', but thankfully they never ask. in fact, they let the internet do the job of raising me for them for the most part!

it's a fucking mess.

#vent #also anytime i speak of my parents #i usually mean mom #i never speak to my dad he speaks to me first #i have very bad issues with my dad hes not a good person #i avoid him #but if i ever wanted to set boundaries theyre ignored. theyre a joke to him. its a game for him to break them then laugh. then make #himself the victim when mom and i stand up against him being an jackass.#fun!

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zombieweek-g · 1 year

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On The Don TL

my brain is soup rn from this cold ive been nursing so forgive me if this stops making sense at any point

I started subbing donbros at episode 8 because a friend I’d talk about it with didn’t speak japanese, and thus couldnt talk about the eps with me until the subs were eventually released, usually at least 20 hours after the initial airing. As a result, my entire motivation for starting thius sub was just to be able to chat about the episodes with my friend faster, so posting them anywhere at all was never really on my mind, and I didn’t think I’d actually sub the next episode, much less the rest of the show.

Don was the first time I’ve ever subbed a show, so the first 5 weeks were sort of like being chucked into a fire after having only done manga translation up til now, and the process was both easier, harder, and completely different in so many ways (honestly i worry about how easily itll be to switch right back to scantalation lol)

working with such a small window in between the ep airing and actually releasing the sub definitely made for some occasionally sloppy mistakes, and more often than not I’d just get completely off track for one reason or another. If you ever noticed my sub released like 12 full hours after airing rather than the normal 5 its because i was either caught up in a game or a show (there was a solid 2 weeks where the sub was delayed because i was binging doctor who (sorry)).

There’s so much I feel like I could talk about in regards to the personal journey I went on subbing this show and its hard to even think of how to put it into words, I graduated from university and started working in the span of subbing this show, if feels like a joke. I figured out that I was trans because of this show (not totally true but it did happen in the timeframe).

That’s also not even to talk about the people I’ve gotten to meet while subbing this show, like, people I’d always held in high respect for their work that I’ve gotten to work with because I started doing this. It feels insane how much of my online presence has changed because of this show, like a year and some change ago this was a dead blog, I didn’t post or RB anything and if you look at my posts prior to january 2022 im pretty sure you could count most of my posts on your fingers. There’s such an insane amount of stuff I owe to the work ive done on my sub and even still i cant put it into words.

I was actually really worried I wasn’t gonna be able to get this sub out because I’ve been sick as a dog for about 3 days now, yesterday I was literally bedridden for half the day worrying that I might not be able to even sit at my computer because of what turned out to jsut be a really bad cold. The effort I’ve been able to put into other stuff too thanks to this is crazy to me, like I fully didn’t expect it to turn out so well for me. (like the blog that posted last weeks tl for me is actually just my alt I use for streaming, another thing i only really started doing because of the motivation I got from going this!)

Whether or not I keep subbing sentai, I’ll be having my manga projects taking focus more going forward, especially with how many I abandoned mid tl last year (nexus and kaixa manga both coming soon hopefully.

It’s hard to put into words just how much this show and the support I’ve gotten with my janky speed tl means to me, and for anyone who read this thank you so much for the support and encouragement over the last 10 months, because it really has meant the world to me.

#donweek_g #Zombieweek translations

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whatdoesshedotothem · 2 years

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Sunday 28 July 1833

6 35

11 ¾

very fine morning and F69° at 6 ½ - great bustle of people about even at this hour – had Madame Decantes to try on my new morning dress at 8 - lucky I had just before sent little pencil note to Mrs. B- to ask her to excuse me this morning and to come here this evening to see the fireworks - breakfast at 9 - afterwards wrote 3 pages till 11 ½ to Lady Gordon quite different from what I wrote yesterday - not a word about the inconvenience of being at an hotel - but if I could be of the least use to her begging her to write from Calais or from anywhere - obliged to stay here longer than I thought and should settle myself for 10 days or a fortnight longer so unless she had changed her plan should be here some days after her arrival - in the r. de Rivoli till tomorrow - had seen the King and his cortège pass - very few vivas - our George IV would have said as many when his popularity was at the lowest - seems a fearfully general impression that the King will be shot at today - had been 4 or 5 days at Chantilly - arrived here on Thursday evening - in my letter written yesterday told my aunt of arriving here at 3pm on Thursday - mention being here (hotel de la terrasse) till Monday and then going to no. 4 r. n. de Luxembourg - cannot go to Lafittes till Monday - wrote now that there may be time for an answer here if my aunt writes by Sunday or Mondays’ post the 4th or 5th of August - will write again from here - mention Mrs Barlow and Mademoiselle de Sans (Madame Droz) being here - the former no. 4 rue neuve de L- ‘all was as right between us, as if it had never seemed wrong’ - inquired very much after you - Mrs B- looking not a day older - Jane very well considering she was only just recovering from Scarlatina [scarlattina] – ‘I still think of the north - one of its accommodations is, that it is cheaper than the south, and is literally more in the way’ - once thought of seeing my books off by water - can scarce make up my mind - to so much trouble delay and expense just now - my 2 servants do very well so far - a strangely general impression that a certain high personage is to be shot at in the procession - ‘throughout all the world how little men’s minds seem settled! But no more’ - never write politics - ‘I have thought of you, my dear aunt, perpetually, and feel very odd without you here - all believe the poor duc de Bourbon came by his death unfairly - Madame de Feuchères detested - stables at Chantilly magnificent - forest charming - same news to M- think she will get my letter on Thursday (1st August) ‘my portiere gave me your little parcel dated 20 October 1831 - I have not opened it - nor can I make up my mind to do so till I have heard from you again - I know the contents - socks - and they will be valuable so far north as I still think of going’ - but will write again from here - in 20 minds about giving up my apartment - suppose Lady G- will be here before I am gone - Mrs Barlow going into Brittany then Guernsey perhaps for the winter, then to settle among her friends in Hampshire - ask M- to read Theodore Hooke’s last novel the Parson’s daughter, and what she M- thinks of Mr Harbottle - Vere said like δ- and ask for receipt for thieves vinegar - tell her - for music Hertz and Mochelles before Cramer or any others for singing Scappa. Crevelli, Rabitti each a guinea or less - better to begin singing with tip-top if it can be afforded - Miss Connell can tell of people for signing at 5/. or 10/. a lesson - wrote the above of today till 12 - at 12 10 took Eugenie and Thomas and set off to the post with my letter to ‘Mrs Lister Shibden Hall Halifax Yorkshire Angleterre - Mrs Lawton Claremont house Leamington Warwickshire Angleterre and Lady Duffin Gordon 34 Hertford street London Angleterre’ – surprised (tho’ foolishly so – for might have know it would be so) to find it impossible to pass the boulevard on account of the passing of the national guard – went down the rue des capucines – impossible to cross the place Vendôme tho’ it was only 12 ½ and the statue of Napoleon not to uncovered till 2 - tried to pass into the rue Honoré or along the rue de Rivoli to get to the great post - all in vain, so came quietly back with my letters - Mrs and Miss Barlow called and sat sometime then in ½ hour read the short morning service (with liturgy) to Eugenie and Thomas then till 4 ½ wrote a full ½ sheet to Lady Stuart and wrote the last 8 lines of this page - Mrs and Miss B- turned liberals shall be glad to have our Lordlings brought down the English aristocracy wants humbling I said what I could on the other side oh oh thought I I know how

SH:7/ML/E/16/0088

it is with you and all who cry down peers and up private gents I at least will keep my thoughts on this point to myself I will try to make my income do and never mind about society perhaps I can find some place somewhere to be quiet at by and by then till 5 ¾ wrote a full ½ sheet to Lady VC- dinner at 6 - went out at 7 ¾ taking my 2 servants - walked round the Madeline because too crowded just then to go into the gardens - went there afterwards - lost Thomas - returned - he had the key of the apartment - could not get in - went to Mrs Barlow’s - she and Jane just gone out - came back - found Thomas - went again into the gardens - then went up an 4me and waited ¼ hour - the fireworks really very fine, the finest I ever saw - a representation of the hotel de ville magnificent with 3 large round shields on which 27, 28, 29 - the 3 memorable days - Lady S- had some penetration in making the observation that Eugenie looked sisterly - she certainly does not know how to behave en femme de chamber - always taken for a demoiselle here - walks before me - begins the conversation - and tonight took her place almost in front of me from a gentleman who offered it and kept it to the exclusion of a young lady a friend of the gentleman’s!!! this was just going too far and so I have just told her - said I could not do with this sort of thing - if she could not conform to the place she had taken she had better give it up - I did not know that I should let her wear a veil (when walking with me I should have said) was she aware she would have my bed to make and fine linen to do and get up - ‘yes!’ she muttered out - very wisely she gave me no other answer - said nothing else - but I shall turn over a new leaf with her - poor soul! she will not find it very easy to get the upper hand with me – very fine day – F70° now at 11 ¼ -

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