#IVE MET MY QUOTA

[jakeparkapologist]

green blood = green blush

#alright ive met my one post quota for the next 4 years. gootbye. #syzoth #mk reptile #mk1 #mortal kombat 1

[broke-on-books]

☕️ + the Scooby Doo fandom in general

Hmm okay so this is a very broad question to me and that really means it's going to recieve a broad answer, especially to me as "Scooby fandom" really has differing levels in my heart etc.

For example with my friends and the smallish community of fellow Scooby fans I've found here on tumblr (the Scooby Dootuals!!!) I really love and like! Everybody is so nice and it's cool that people have various levels of knowledge about different series and iterations. Like I really enjoy that on here Scooby fans (as in, like my friends and people who regularly post scooby) have such differing levels of experience with this huge huge franchise as it makes it so much more interesting. Like we have people out there who have seen almost every episode (or feels like it) and can seemingly remember the smallest of things from them, and then we have people who weren't into Scooby as a child but are exploring it now, and then we've got people (like me) who did like it as a child and kind of know a bit of everything, with huge areas of weakness in Scooby they haven't seen, (for me APNSD, anything more than the premise of 13 Ghosts, the 80s trio minus Boo Brothers, anything past s1 of bcsd, much of the 70s era movies, SD & SD, Guess Who, SDMI details, like the list goes on, people!!! I've only seen a Scooby series in order in its entirety one time in my life and that was SDMI age like 12) while also having a few areas with greater knowledge or familiarity and a few spots where they just know a ton/are constantly rewatching. (Me with Goes Hollywood for sure) anyways I don't really remember where I was going with this but uhhh I like that my buddies and whatnot all know different amounts with many being chill or knowing a little bit of everything so we can still like each others posts and talk about Scooby with there still always being so much more to discover <3. So like basically thoughts on the besties are that besties are cool

However I know anon that by sending this you likely mean "Scooby fandom" as in people outside of this insular little bubble so let's talk about that. I think I'm reluctant to really label this group "Scooby fandom" as for ME PERSONALLY fandom really means a kind of engagement with the work beyond what most general Scooby fans do. Like what I'm trying to say is that this group of "wider Scooby fandom" liked Scooby and watched it as a child and consider themselves a fan of Scooby but they aren't rotating Scooby characters like blorbos in their mind too much. Or if they are, it's generally in the creation of like dark!Scooby aus or the live action Scooby show pitches that blow up on here every time Scooby is a topic of general coversation. I guess for me personally the line between this "Scooby fandom" and my own little bubble of people I'm chill with gets drawn based on what fans want out of Scooby. Like do they love Scooby as it is, or do they want to change the audience to create a new Scooby for themselves. Hm, I'm not really phrasing this right. What I mean is like we're all Scooby fans. If you've ever liked Scooby, at any age, however long ago, you're a Scooby fan, I'm not trying to like, gatekeep Scooby fandom or whatever. I just think that differing groups of fans have different pictures in their head of both what Scooby Doo IS and what they want from it based on their familiarity with it and how long it's been since said fan has watched Scooby.

And that's kind of wherein my frustration with "wider scooby fandom" lies. It's really in the fact that there's thousands upon thousands of these "sleeper fans" (which in my mind is really a better term for it) who awake when I or the popular culture mention Scooby, to share their opinions. And these opinions just frankly drive me up the wall. This is because when confronted with a real life Scooby fan (me) there's generally 3 things they want to talk about: 1) SDMI and how it's the greatest thing since sliced bread 2) Doesn't HBO Velma suck 3) (once they learn I like Scrappy) Scrappy hatred and copious references to his portrayal in the Gunn Movies. Plus MAYBE a bonus 4 of other miscellaneous takes that get on my nerves (stuff like Shaggy always smoking weed, Fred and Daphne splitting up together to have sex, just all sorts of things I do not for the life of me want to talk about).

So I guess my take on the wider scooby fandom is as follows: there are positives like some genuinely funny SD posts once a blue moon, or people to share things like concept art and leaks to much of the content canceled by HBO Max, but the vast vast majority of the time it kind of gets on my nerves because people always want to talk about the same few things (which I feel have been talked to death already or I highly disagree with OR BOTH) and it's just really tiring to deal with. Idk I don't think I'm going to go into it to much more here because this post isn't too coherent to begin with (I'm blaming it on like 70% of this being written before work this morning) but there's so many people out there who think so similarly about Scooby (and SO differently from how I think about it) that it feels like I'm getting talked over constantly whenever I have a discussion about Scooby with someone from this group. And that's just like not fun for me? It's just like for me, Scooby Doo is my number one thing. Like I'll be in different fandoms concurrently or whatever and I don't really read fic for scooby but I will for other stuff etc. But like scooby is always there for me like MY MAIN turned into a scooby doo blog like honestly while that's just not the case for some other people. It's very much a difference in the value and time put into the franchise, (which like you can just like things casually that's not a bad thing) it's just that it's frustrating for me talking to sleeper fans about Scooby because I get trapped (literally, like irl) in the exact same conversation that I don't even want to be having(!!!!!) pretty much all the time.

#this is very disjointed and not cohesive AT ALL but thats fine #basically my brutally honest opinion: talking to the typical scooby fan gets on my nerves bc they only want to talk about the same 3 things #and i disagree with them on all of them #blah #scooby doo #answered #anonymous #actually this is kind of negative so i should probably tag that #vent #negativity #also feel free to keep sending me these asks like youve been doing (and also the ship ones too with scooby stuff bc ill talk about that as #well) i just may or may not answer some of the more negative prompts because im a very optimistic happy person and ive already met my quota #of negativity for the day and am tired now but like if you really wanna know anyways ask and i may get to it

[madohomurat]

i feel like there should be a limit to how many ads a person is allowed to be shown in their entire life. like 100 ads and then its illegal for you to ever show me an ad again. the company owes me $1000 for every ad they accidentally show me after that

#cy texts #i grew up watching television which means ive met my ad quota at the ripe age of like. 2 years old

[snekdood]

saw a post yesterday that was like "if you dont have trans women as friends u gotta think about why that is" and i really had to restrain myself from saying "it goes both ways my friend!". if you dont have any trans men as friends, ya gotta think about why that is also!

#personally? i dont choose my friends based on which minority category they belong to. #also im not out here going to 'trans group meetings' or whatever tf either. whoevers my friend is ppl who actually come into my life #who i actually get the chance to see and meet. consider: i havent actually met that many trans women irl at all. #i havent even met that many trans ppl irl at all in general- most of the trans ppl i DO happen across are NB #and i dont like making close friends online esp tumblr bc i dont trust none a yall #there are like two trans women i know that i met through someone else and 1 of them i literally just met and the other.......... based on #my interactions with her- i dont think we'd make great close friends. #acquaintances? sure. im mean thats kinda unavoidable at this point anyways. #the biggest issue is i havent met any trans women i think i'd actually click with- but thats a little unfair bc its hard to find friends #to begin with anyways let alone a trans woman specifically- if you think i gotta be out here hunting for trans women to be friends with to #fulfill your woke quota you got a weird fuckin world view on how friendships and the world in general works. #i dont make friends based on their transness or whatever tf thats fuckin weird. #theres a lot of trans women i follow online that i think i'd make great friends with- but the fact there aren't that many trans women #in general and the only ones i think i'd actually click with are ppl ill likely never meet irl? yeah i dont rly think its my #fault bud its kinda just the circumstance of life in general- there's just not a lot of trans people out there. #and no im not going to trans meetings bc that shit is usually toxic as hell anyways bye #new dating type of app but for looking for trans friends to make tumblr user buttfaceass happy about my choices #maybe if i lived in cali w my gay uncle i'd meet more but alas i live in missoura' and i dont blame trans women for wanting to hide #more here. shit i mean i do. #in total? irl? ive only met like 4 trans women. one of which im p sure is actually transfem and doesnt even live in my state #she and another one were part of a toxic abusive ass friend group and i really dont think im missing out on much. #so yeah what- you want me to try to befriend them again? bc im p sure my abuser filled their brains w bullshit about me so. #kinda not waiting on them to come around ever. #like im not exactly sure what that post wants me to do besides idk. act like the op of it? #go to toxic ass irl trans group meetings and befriend random ppl online who have no concept of friendship loyalty? yeah ill pass bud #actually actuall wait scratch that- i did know another trans woman--- she mightve been transfem too- but we met on discord #and primarily interacted there bc it was like a friendgroup discord and i think we were good enough friends we just never got super close #mostly bc im weary of queer friend groups that are predominately white and also i felt like that friendgroup only kept me around #to make fun of me. i dont think she was like that but.... the other ppl in it...... yeaaahhh... #so naturally we kinda stopped talking all together when i left the discord and stopped interacting w that friend group

[keniaku]

i was joking when i said comms money will be used to fund my jjk shrine but they just restocked the geto playful cloud figure 🧍

#i wont get him yet ive met my quota of useless purchases of the month but. oh my god this is such a bad timing #txt

[disordersgirl]

sluttify ghostface

#im done screamposting now ive met my quota

[pagesofkenna]

its getting to be about time that i ask for fanfic writing prompts

#ive done basically no writing over the last month #and i have no fanfic things im craving to write #but theres only a month and a half of the year left and i havent met my quota (ie 1)

[magurosnacks]

due to Unfortunate Circumstances (my broken tablet pen and final exams next week) i will be slow with art until maybe january!! might be able to crank out a lot of traditional drawings during my downtime between exams though, we'll see

#magurospeaks #behold: my semiannual Going IA For Finals post #ive met my quota for the year guys #we can all go home now

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon

Alastor being disdainful and aloof when he sees residents playing with and cooing over their pets like fat nuggets and kiki.

But perhaps one day as he is speaking with dear charlie in an overly paternal manner that is causing lucifer to nearly snap hus cane in half, theres a ruckus from the lobby and panicked shouting.

In seconds a great bounding Thing is hurtling through the area all lolloping teeth and claws and floppy tongue.

Vaggie finds her spear knocked absently aside by a microphone staff as Alastor queries a pleasantly surprised, "...vark?"

Surprising the rest of the hotel by not aporising the shark dog thing when it actively jumps up to knock them both over. "VARK! What are you doing here? Yes its quite swell to see you too, what have you been fed? You seem a tad slim. No matter, i think i can find a lovely fresh femur for you in my kitchen, hmm, would you like that? I do believe you would."

"Uh so, how d'you know vox's pet, Smiles?" Angel asked, knowing the creature from the rare times it would gallivant about Vee tower trying to find vox, velvette or valentino for attention and treats.

That snaps alastor back into the reality of being on the floor covered in shark spit, thanks to excited licking, aand he gently moves the shupppy off him (all 7ft) to stand. Pointedly ignoring the giant shiny eyes charlie is making at the rare affectionate scene.

"Simply from association with that insipid little picture box a few decades before, when Vark was an infant and no larger than your porcine companion rotund chicken pieces." Alastor deflects.

He shoots a warning glare at Husk when the latter snorts in response. Which is ignored.

"Sure, if thats what you wanna call it..."

Sensing gossip, Angel slides back to the bar, fat nuggets swinging wildly like a ferret.in a secondary set.of arms. "Oh, gossip on the scandalous secrets of THE radio demon, huskie? Do tell."

Before anyone can, the front doors burst open as a frantic swarm of sauce drenched voxtech employees arrive, all low.performers made into tasty little enticements for the missing pet. Followed by the overlord himself,on a three way call.with vel, val and their own swarm of worker treats. Clearly all searching with different levels of desperation and arguing back and forth.

"...-ell maybe you need to check you locked the fucking door BEFORE the orgy, val, its common fucking sense!"

"As if wither of you were paying enough attention to do it wither, its not my fault Voxxy. Tell him Vel-Vel!"

"You boomers are exhausting but if you can can it for a sec, ive got some sinstagram posts showing he was headed to the hotel your old boytoy is running. Nothing new past that, probs cause'a the scrambling thing the fuxker does."

"Why Podcast and accomplices, to what do we owe this dospleasure?"Alastor drawls, all false cheer and dripping poisoned hospitality. As if he wasnt holding a gigantic shark dog thing in jos arms like it was nothing, and pointedly flicking his ears out of reach of an enthusiastic slobbery tongue.

"VARK!" The television headed overlord shouts in a mixture of joy, relief, frustration and that strange rage all parents and pet owners feel when finding a lostling safe and mostly sound. "Where have you BEEN?! Do you know how worried daddy was?"

The employees all made it very clear they had heard nothing of such a soppy statement by looking studiously at differnt floor tiles, ceiling fixtures and the wallpaper.

Through the split screen, Vel and Val were also smooshing themselves close to the screen and using their own endearments and admonishments at the shuppy. Amusing, ut grating on the ears.

Lucifer, having met and wildly exceeded his quota for social engagement for yhe day aand off the wall.shenanigans, finds his eye twitching. "Can someone explain qhat is happening here and why its happening in my daughters hotel of all places?!"

He gets a dirty look from the radio prick, but who cares.

Before vox can say anything, muting the other two, alastor speaks.

"I believe it is clear, your majesty, thatdear Vark was not having his needs met and so came to find someone who could provide that care. And is not the hotel all about second chances?" Levels the overlord, allowing Niffty to sit on his shoulder to pet the shuppy while giggling maniacally.

"HEY!" Came the trifold scandelised reply from the Vees.

"Or maybe someone left the door open at our tower and Vark came to find one of the few people in hell who spoils him rotten..." Vox trues yo snark back and trails off as if he wasnt sure where that was going. Then a maniacal glee lights up that calculating grin, as the overlord adds, "or perhaps Vark just missed his other daddy and wanted to come visit?"

That caused an uproar.

"You two was together?!"

"That is neither here nor there, my envenomed associaate, do close your mouth before a fly... ah, actually,you might enjoy that." The deflection falls flatin the face of the whole situation.

"Hah!" Comes the unexpected contribution from the King, "so all your snarky little comments about bad parenting, and here we find you abandoned your own kid!"

"Vark is only a shark dog demon, not a child." He drawls back. Pointedly ignoring the huge sad eyes vark was using at him, but skritching carefully by the shuppys gills all the same, enjoying the delighted rumble.it elicited.

Vox and the vees gasped like hed torn their hearts out and ate them in front of their eyes. A twisted mess of indignant statements about how vark was not JUST a dog, he was amazing and perfect and alastor was a bad father to say such things when they might impact the shuppys emotional development...

"Okay, this is very weird and as nice as it is to have three overlords viaiting our lovely hotel, this is getting a little weird." Charlie says diplomatically, exhausted from tbe wgole thing and also.staying up two days in a row to qork on plans for activities and counselling programs.for residents. Which was what a combination of Vagie, alastor and lucifer had been addressing prior to the Vark incident.

That seemed to snap everyone back into reality, and Vox cleared his throat, brushing off his suit and ordering semi sticky 3mployees outside. Nifty already cleaning up their soppy footprints with an almost hysterical glee.

"Apologies Princess, i am afraid you caught my team at an inopportune time..." he bluffed, straightening his coat. "Nevermind. If you could just get your hotelier to relinquish our, and by that i mean the vees, shuppy Vark thatd be great "

"...no."

"What do you mean NO?! Thats our, again the vees, shuppy!"

"In all technicality he is also mine, but really Vox... hes quite thin, are you not giving him enough livers? His skin isnt very shiny..."

"We cant all just go get sinner meat for him all the time, Al..." Vox sighs, then remembers where he is. " hah, i mean, you ancient airwave loving fucker. Hes fine, but we'll take that suggestion under advisement..."

Velvette was visibly scrolling through some sort of online store and adding gorey content (of which livers featured prominently) to the cart. Val was looking throuh a site that seemed an odd mix of sexual items as well as animal toys. No one thought too hard about the implications of that...

Sighing and acting casually bored with the whole affair to the outside observer, Alastor demured slightly by putting Vark down. "I suppose that I shall allow him to return with you for now, with a few items to tide Vark over..." Niffty blurred as she went to grab sinner bones and organs from the fridge in his room. "...but i will be watching. You may leave him here once a month for a few days so i can ascertain he is well, you know he enjoys swimming in the bayou and eating the alligators."

Theres a short.pause, before Vox buffers through the conversation to the underlying meaning. "Uh, yeah... I'll have someone draft something up. Yknow you can always come see him at the tower..."

"Not necessary at this time,Podcast. Do you agree to my terms?"

Theres a moment where the three overlords have a technological discussion, before Vox replied, "Deal." and took the outstretched hand. A blast of green and blue energy, with faint traces of intermingled pink and purple, raced outwards.

"Very well then. Niffty darling, would you be so good as to assist the picture box in returning to his vehicle and ensuring he remembers the bag of treats for Vark?"

"Okay sir!" She salutes excitedly, skittering off and dragging at Voxs pant leg.

"Now Vark, you do need to go with..." there was a deep pause as if the next word was painful, as it came out in somewhat revolted static. "...Daddy... but i will.see you again shortly. And, i believe i promosed you a femur, didnt i?"

His shadow manifested the gristly item and provided it to Vark, who lost his little.mind in excitement. Growl yapping and thindering about before coming back for a final pet, then galloping outside chewing happily.

"Okay, I'll bite... what the fuck just happened?" Angel asked. "I feel like i just watched a hell version of two divorcees making a custody arrangement for their kid "

"Probably cause ya did..." Husk muttered, and the spider spat out his cosmopolitan.

"What?!"

Charlie is trying to offer comfort to Alastor but isnt sure what to even say because the last few minutes had been pretty strange even by the hotels standards.

"So... that happened. Are you okay? Seeing an ex is always kinda weird... and with your sorta kid too? Should we uh, maybe call Rosie?"

That sbapped him out of things and the enigmatic radio host was back. "Nonsense my dwar, wverything is fine. And dear Risie has heard all she cares to stand about that capatalistic shill over the past few decades i would hazard. But perhaps i can arrange her to visit when vark is next here, she does adore the little thing. Always has a fresh heart or two to slide him under the table..."

"Hey, dont ignore me, Smiles! Are you tellin me you was like hell married to fuckin VOX?! Is that why he has the bodypillow ofy- uhforget i said that."

"Why, that is not quite an accurate statement, my pastel pal... i never inferred it was only to Vox now, did i? And-..." a pause as the previous query registers, and his overlord form bleeds through in dial eyes and antlers. " he has a WHAT?!"

His.incredulity and discomfort at the idea is undercut by the howling laughter.of the king of hell, who is near crying from mirth.

Angel is grinning up at him. "You heard me, Smiles. Ots on his bed, and he sometimes shares it with the other vees on occasion if ya know what i mean... i thought it was hate stuff, but now i know its sad ex drama its kinda funny. Does explain that one real.weird video Val got e to do with it a few years back that never aired..."

The overlord form snapped away in am instant. " ...I'd ask for elaboration, dear gellow, but i fear that it may lead to a rampage. Lst us agree to put it from our minds and never spwak of it again, deal?"

"Deal."

A very small flare of green and pink berween the clasped.hands, and both parties immediately move back to what they were doing before everything went down.

"Now, i believe a certain princess needs to go and take a well.earned nap.before she collapses.from exhaustion, hmm?"

Lucifer immediately joins in with Vaggie in attempting to coerce their beloved Charlie to nap before she falls.over. However he does shoot the smug fake smiling radio parental usurper a very pointed glare that said he hadnt forgotten the little drama that just occurred... and felt a thrill of satisfaction as the other's grin dimmed slightly.

At the bar, Husk slips another drink to Angel and a glass of cordial to Niffty (she was a menace when drunk and had access to weapons).

"Hey didja know about all... that?"

A noncommittal hum.

"Do ya think... do ya think Smiles'd let me be like a distant uncle.to that shuppy? He was fuckin adorable and i just wanted to squish his murderous little face. Always wanted to pet him the few times i saw him at work, but... i was usually busy."

Husk cant help the laugh that rumbles.out. "Legs, whether the guy likes to admit it or not he loves that sharkdog like he does Niffty, you're gonna have Vark shoved in your face so often you'll be sick of him after a bit. Heck, qhen that lot broke up i think he was honestly more ypset about losing Vark..."

Angel felt Fat Nugget wriggle about in his arms and scritxhed the demon pigs ears, eliciting a delighted.grumbling squeal.

"Heh, i get it. Things're gonna be interesting around here then, hmm, sourpuss?"

"When are they ever not, Legs?"

#hazbin hotel #alastor #vox #angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #niffty #hazbin hotel vark #headcanon and inference of a whole new shop dynamic for the hell of it

[transfaguette]

listen ive met my yearly quota for talking about steven universe but i just need to share this tag from that post. "literally who is saying this" did you use tumblr at all from like, 2015 onward. I envy you.

#coyote.txt

[becauseplot]

ok so thanks to greaterspawnislands(tumblr)/h_melohi(ao3)'s most recent fic baby, don't fear the reaper, i feel like ive finally cracked the code. (headcanons incoming wheee.)

q!Phil is in love with an "otherworldly being" that he's met during his travels -- and occasional murderous escapades -- that he knows as "Lady Death." q!Missa works for a "goddess of death/the afterlife" that has granted him divine powers specifically for Reaper work that he knows as "La Catrina."

Kristin is both of these people. btw. Phil and Missa DO tell each other about "Lady Death" and "La Catrina" but they just don't connect the dots. Kristin is sitting back munching on Her popcorn waiting for them to put their collective three (3) braincells together and realize "hey wait a minute--"

anyway Kristin calls Phil "my angel" but it's more of an affectionate term rather than a title ("angel" vs "Angel"). Phil is still murdery but that's just how he is, no divine soul-quota to fill or a need to serve his Goddess or anything like that. just pure survival instinct and years of Dealing With Shit.

Missa, meanwhile, very much so has tasks to do as Reaper (which is why he's been gone from Quesadilla Island for a few weeks) but his powers only ever manifest when he's Reaping. he is generally a gentle Reaper and he's still cringefail with or without the powers, but he's much more of a threat to your life when he has them (baby vs baby-with-a-gun). so uh, if he's got 'em. start running.

#qsmp #q!missa #q!philza #q!kristin #headcanons wheeeeeeee

[pickleslice]

im allowed one cringe post a week and ive met my quota

[effervescentdragon]

Re your interviewers not even sure what to ask anymore ask, that’s me but with the fandom lol. I’m literally this close to just starting to translate all of Toto’s German interviews just to feel like there is Any reason for me to still be here doing Stuff in this fandom, like what am I doing, exactly? Make predictable guesses as to who’s gonna win, only get surprised by DNFs and engine failures and battling in the mid-field, have my grandpa tell me ‘the races have really been going downhill’ and log off??

i posted sth about jude bellinghams dick game on insta on main yday and og bff asked me what im compensating for w footie posting and should he be worried abt my mental state and i said f1, because im just not incentivised to watch it anymore at the moment? im hoping it changes when races stop being so early - i am sad i missed nico's commentary the most tbh. i guess fandoms come and go and things get more and less interesting but the thing for me is - if im not enjoying it, i won't make myself watch/read/do it just because i've made it my Thing. i can have many Things. we all can. i think, when something doesn't bring joy, its good to step back. give yourself time. f1 will be there. 🫂

i also think there is this insidious thing that you have to be "productive" in a fandom, that you have to do, be doing something to justify your presence in it. i know i've felt off because im not churning out 10 ficlets a day anymore, but the fact is - you don't have to DO anything to BE in the fandom (this feels like some metaphor for life but i only took one sip of coffee today so far). fandom is about enjoyment, yohr enjoyment and sharing that enjoyment with people who also love a certain piece of media or whatever. this capitalist bullshit of treating a fandom space like it's a job (what am i contributing? have i met my quota of posting about my blorbo today? how many followers do i have?) like... who the fuck cares. i still count myself into the silm fandom and i havent posted about it in ages. doctor who, star trek, hell, fucking x men and cap america and hannibal and so many things. i am still a fan of so many things that bring me enjoyment. thats why im a fan in a fandom.

i guess what i'm teying to say is that its really hard sometimes, when you lose interest or get disheartened by someting thats brought you joy before. when you feel like you're "failing" at liking something. but i try to remember - im a person, i have interests, interests change. a thing i loved isnt that anymore. okay. not okay, but it's fine. you may find joy again, you may surorise yourself, or you may just drift to something else. you're no less you, and no less a fan, if your intensity isn't the same now as it was yesterday or a decade ago. and with f1... its changing so much that its honestly pretty understandable to feel that way. bff stopped watching during the seb era, came back when it looked like seb might win w ferrari, then skipped the whole lewis era. og bff skipped merc domination era completely. my cousins husband stopped watching the moment alonso won. ive had friends stop watching the moment max won. it happens.

what im saying, too fucking long and winded bcs apparently im in a mood today - dont force yourself into something that doesnt bring you joy. theres so much joy to be found in this world deapite everything, and you're no less you for losing an interest in a fandom.

#akira answers asks #lovely moots 💕 #this got long and i hope it makes sense in some way. or helps. idk. #f1

[kafkaguy]

another thing about me is that i have insanely highly pain tolerance but only like... emotionally. like every time i get severely injured, mentally I'm like Well ok👍 moving on now. but my entire body is like AUGH AUGH AUGH WE'RE HIT WE'RE GOING DOWN. like ijust trapped my finger in some hinges and it was pretty ouchie but i was like whatever and my knuckle is a bit bruised now but like for a full 2 minutes afterwards i felt dizzy and my chest felt tight and actually as im typing this out im realising it might be a sign of something significant but um. Anyway. all this to say that on all levels except physical im a chad undefeatable never feel pain, but my body is a total pussy and hey wait maybe there's something wrong with my blood pressure. okay ive met my daily quota of unnecessary oversharing on the Internet carry on everyone

[metaecstatic]

ive met my irish politics quota for today sorry guys. no more irish politics posts until tomorrow

[whatdoyoumeanitsnotcanon]

(*cracks knuckles.* I found my balls.)

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio/Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

You'd dreamt of stars as long as you could remember.

They glinted in the night sky, tiny points of cold, distant light, but when you dreamed you saw sundered galaxies churning, crashing like water over burning rifts of blackness, awash with radiant gas.

And you'd dreamt of war as long as you could grasp the concept.

You heard the stories from of the front lines, carried by word of mouth riding cargo ships, but when you slept, you saw the armies like hordes of insects, the spray of oceans of blood, as fire swept across the battlefields of distant planets and silenced them all.

You never spoke of it. Who would understand if you did? At best, you'd be branded a madwoman, at worst a heretic. So you kept your mouth shut, rose each day, met your daily quotas, and returned home when your work was done. The people of your hometown already thought you distant and strange, and a worse fate awaited you should they understand.

Absen IV had been an Agri-World before its seasonal storms made it more suitable for a layover port, and even then a distant one, frequented only by smugglers, explorers, and rogue traders. They never stayed for long, and Absen remained largely forgotten.

The Astra Millitarum recruited, both volunteers and by draft, from the planet. You lost two brothers to the meat grinder. They had graves in the backyard of your family home, though no bodies had been returned. You'd been told there was nothing left. It killed your father too, you'd suspected. The grief rolled off him, shed grey and noxious malaise, and it had stormed for weeks like the town had never seen.

Father understood. When you woke in the night, saw terror unfit for man, he held you gently. Explained that they weren't nightmares, that you couldn't speak of what you saw. Psyker children, those who could touch the Other, the Warp, were taken away and never returned, and it was better that no one knew. If he passed unoticed all these years, so could you.

It became harder, as you grew, to hide the latent effects of your connection to the Warp. When angered, lightbulbs around you erupted, rain poured from the sky when you wept, and more than once you'd caused destructive little pulsewaves in the field behind your home. You learned to school your emotions. Isolated yourself in the wake of Father's death, and prayed to the God Emperor you'd die unnoticed.

You did not go unnoticed.

The townsfolk noticed nothing, besides an unremarkable, lonely girl with a dead family, and you were one of many of those.

But something else did.

You were eleven, when you became aware of the Presence. It didn't exist physically, but most things didn't. Wary of Warp creatures, you attempted not to acknowledge it. And it simply watched. Attached itself to you like a shadow, until it grew a nature. It wasn't horrid, unnatural, wicked, like Father had warned you. It was warm, gentle, protective.

You accepted it, eventually. Your lone companion most days, in the now permanent absence of your brothers.

You brushed against it, psychically, and asked it if it had ever lost someone.

Loss like you couldn't fathom.

You were fifteen when it, he, spoke for the first time.

+You are extraordinary.+

What?

+Extraordinary.+

So you do speak.

+I do. Though I have not been able to, I've now gained the strength. I must thank you for that.+

You're welcome.

+Why do you remain here?+

This planet is my home.

+This is planet is beneath you. Surely you understand the kind of power you wield.+

Pfft. The power to have terrible nightmares, or the power to cause bad weather? I don't want it. It's a family curse, as far as I'm concerned. I want the Back Ships as far from me as they can get. Parasites. God-Emperor take them all to Hell.

+You would speak so poorly of the Emperor's servants?+

I'm no Sister, Warp-Thing. Considering your nature I figured we could keep this heresy between us.

The Presence laughed. His laugh was beautiful, like his voice. Deep, rich, warm and ambery. It could command, you had no doubt, but when you heard it echo in your mind, it was tender.

Your Father died when you were sixteen. You took all the tenderness he would give.

Your friendship continued to grow. An odd pair you made, but you were grateful for his company, and his knowledge. Father could teach you to ignore, and Father could teach you fear, but The Presence taught you so much more.

You became stronger, gained control over your power. You learned of the distant galaxy, gained context for your visions. They ranged not only the present, but the past.

I'm seeing the past?

+Yes. That was an ancient battle. It's impression lives forever in the Warp, which is why you may see it.+

When was it?

+The Heresy.+

I've seen the Heresy before. Once.

+Oh?+

I saw the Emperor fall. I thought that one must have been a dream, but now I think it may have been a memory.

+Show me.+

You rolled back your mind, reliving the vision. Horus, the Arch-Traitor, and the Emperor, glad in gleaming gold.

+A memory, little one.+

You felt emotion from him, a potent mix of grief and rage. The Warp was strange.

Why would I see this?

+Think of it no more. This darkness will consume you.+

You started to object, but felt an unvoiced, gentle, yet stern reprimand, and obeyed.

The Presence grew stronger. You could sense what once was a breeze in the Warp become a wind, then a storm. He wasn't feeding on you, but you often wondered what, exactly, you had befriended.

He evaded the question, always.

Are you a ghost?

+Define ghost.+

Are you a dead person?

+Yes and no. Define death.+

Ugh. You're frustrating.

+And you are adorably persistent.+

Tell me something! Anything, about yourself.

+I am your protector, teacher and friend. Do you need to know more?+

I'd like to.

He was silent, and you worried you'd angered him.

+Call me Neoth.+

The years rolled by, and you bloomed into young adulthood. You remained an outcast, but resented it less for the companion you had. You knew so much now, not only of the Warp but of history, worlds beyond your own. With Neoth, you journeyed to other planets, to Holy Terra itself, the cradle of your species, as it was in ancient times. You learned languages and science, and eagerly absorbed all he could teach you. He had become familiar to you like family. His strength had increased, and you now felt phantom hands on your arms and shoulders, guiding you as you practiced control and meditation. His hand in yours, as you flew through time and space, an embrace as you floated, free as birds, in the abyss.

Your life was strange. Heretical, you were sure. But it was peaceful.

Then the Emperor returned.

The news rang like a great bell across the Imperium of Man. Your God was awake, and as it had with the return of Guilliman years before, the great beast that was your species began to stir.

You knew before anyone else. You felt it one night, the burst of brilliant light whole star systems away, like it happened in your own chest. Power like nothing you'd known congealed together, and erupted. The Warp began to shake, and millions of voices began to scream.

Neoth!?

It took him a whole week to answer, he sounded tired.

+I'm here, khoshgelam, do not be afraid.+

What's happening?

+A great many things.+

They're saying we're in danger. I feel it. My planet is exposed, with everything going on. The Eye of Terror is stirring, spitting out Chaos. They're bearing down, and none of these people know how close they are. We're too close to the eye to be helped. It's luck we haven't already been attacked, and I've been blind to the danger.

+You will be alright.+

Not if the fleet in the Deprecor system falls.

+It already has.+

What?

+Do not be afraid.+

They'll be on us within days!

+Pack.+

I'm sorry?

+If there is anything precious to you, pack it. Prepare to leave. You will not be returning. I'm coming for you.+

There was a ghostly brush of lips against your own. Then he was gone.

(heehoo I have worms in my brain and Emperor x Reader has BEGUN)

-Long Anon

#warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #emperor of mankind #you have blessed us as always!