this was the first thing i started drawing when i reread d.gray-man over a year ago and i just dragged myself back to make it look something like finished. always thinking about their miserable childhood bestie-isms
Phil: Doin' a lot of traveling around the New Years. Oh boy, oof. Oh golly, oh gee. But it should be worth it! It should be really good. I'm looking forward to it, Kristin's looking forward to it.
Random Chatter: What about Tallulah and Chayanne?
Phil: I told them already what's going on. I already told them. They already know when I'm getting back and all that stuff, so.
Random Chatter: The cookies though?
Phil: [Shrugs] So? I'm... physically not here? [Laughs] There's more things - there's more important things in life than feeding a virtual egg cookies, I'm sorry to say, dude. [Laughs]
Random Chatter: Get Tubbo to feed eggs cookies.
Phil: [Laughs and mimics the chatter in an annoying voice] "Get this person!" "Get that person!" ALSO IGNORING THOSE PEOPLE ALSO HAVE LIVES! Jesus Christ. That says a lot about what you think of your streamer. Oh my god, dude. Let them have a fcking week off man! Let the Eggs have a week off, you kidding me? They're people, too, they're admins!
Random Chatter: The eggs need to live.
Phil: They do! By having a week off! [Laughs] Leave them alone! Holy fck! Good lord... If I- if- Dude. If anyone in my chat is genuinely like gonna come into stream, and like - be pissed off that different members of QSMP are just not logging in, I'm banning you on the spot, 'cuz that is so fcking toxically online of you. That is SO chronically online of you. You need to take a break, and I'm giving you that break. I'm forcing you to take a break from your PC. Fckin' get up from the - look away from the screen.
im so crazy over the tragedy of everything q!bbh does being under a demon pretense even though he's a fallen angel.
do u think he just accepts the demon label because it's easier. do u think he believes it too, and catches himself in his thoughts with "oh, right. im not exactly that". and maybe he believes that he did this to himself? do u think what he did was to protect himself or someone? no matter the fall, he still has so much kindness to give and his brain just isn't wired the way a natural-born demon would be, he can't hold back instincts when time demands it, maybe that's why he fell in the first place.
and when he's finally bad, not good, it's treated like the end of the world, without empathy on why he would act out. do you think this keeps happening? the same scenario, multiple times, every timeline? he has to be used to it. so he has to take it in stride. he's good until he lashes out under extreme pressure, and suddenly he's called demon. and once again he's what heaven made him out to be. what he made himself to be, his brain would ruthlessly provide...
i don't think he wants to be that, though he hides secrets behind secrets of which neither identity is a home... but i don't think he wants to have to change, either. and i don't think that's wrong of him.
...you collapse atlantis ONE TIME and all of a sudden YOU'RE the bad guy and SURE it was FUN but REALLY now,--
Thank you for being protective of Eddie. I'm disappointed that some people said that Eddie deserved to get hurt just because he left buck out.
...the way this is literally the bare minimum xD i mean, even if eddie *had* left buck out (which he literally didn't, anyway) it's still no excuse for buck to act worse than a toddler over it but what do i know i guess 🤷🏼
You know, the castle story "That Which Remains" is very effective at wounding me emotionally. Specifically, what is shown developing and then dashed against the rocks without mercy.
That is, Euden's and Audric's relationship in particular.
Now, at this point Audric hasn't learned he's forcing his magical Alzheimer's to him specifically on everyone else. Sure, there's been some weird instances people where couldn't remember things about him, but in general he's been sticking around pretty consistently for relationships to form.
Especially with Euden, since Euden seems to have developed a pretty close relationship with Audric. They've been working together regularly and often enough that Euden is maintaining so much sentiment about Audric that he feels ill-at ease when Audric is away. Enough to feel a need to vocalize his more selfish desire that Audric could stay, which is something considering Euden's tendency to push down anything he views as 'selfish'. He holds Audric in very high regard enough to send him on complicated, delicate solo missions.
He even seems to have figured out or is piecing together that Audric is Aurelius. Euden's about to potentially get his father back in some form, even an otherworldly one. Euden might have been able to get some actual parental support from his dad that he's missed since Aurelius' abrupt death, and Audric might have been able to get some quality time with at least one of his kids. Being able to help guide the next generation and ease some of his guilt.
...But by the time he returns Euden has forgotten him outright.
Though he doesn't remember anything about Audric, there still seems to be something that's distressing Euden. He flees uncharacteristically, whether it be because he is having sudden concerns for his own health/memory or strong emotions lingering that he has no context for now.
Either way, to me it's a very sad idea that they were growing so close, only for Euden to forget it all because of Audric's... problems. It was so close to that little bit of happiness for the both of them, only for it to be dashed against the rocks. It also then seems to drive Audric to be more isolationist? As he accepts the idea that nobody is remembering him and that he deserves it, and then resolves more to take solace in actions that he's doing than forming any bonds since he knows they'll wither away just as soon. While he pretends to be fine with it, I'm sure it's still an emotional hardship that you can't form any meaningful relation with another and will be near-instantaneously forgotten as soon as you're gone.
To me, this exchange later in the main campaign almost sounds like Audric talking to himself, trying to stop himself from wallowing in the dream he would be remembered, and focusing on the actions he can take to effect change.
Even so, he's still trying to encourage Euden to remember something about their interactions, though he's accepted he himself won't be a part of them. He's trying to leave something behind to his son.
He's remembering what he once had with Euden, both his own and this world's Euden not all too long ago.
I think that's a huge part of Audric, aside from all that guilt and self-loathing: memories. As everyone else forgets, he remembers, and can only hope to use those memories for good to leave behind something.
Be it saving Euden from supposed-dead insects and their venom, or encouraging Emile to become a better ruler and person by using his memories of Emile as a guide to know what to say, to helping Nedrick understand that Euden and him needn't be enemies, Audric's- and Aurelius'- memories are what allow him to accomplish so much and influence his children on a better path.
And then, just after he dies, once and for all...
They might have started remembering.
This conversation is specifically noted to have occurred days after Audric died, which seems to fall greatly outside the range of time it normally took for people to forget Audric or details about him. But Euden and co still remember his existence, his identity, and his death.
Despite his constant affirmations that Audric knew he'd never leave behind anything of himself aside from any results of his actions, he might have left memories behind after all. It's just a shame his earlier bonds he had begun to form with Euden, old friends (Raemond) and new ones alike weren't able to survive beforehand.
once again remembering that the widomauk forehead kiss was the first kiss of the campaign. And then Caleb kisses Molly back at the end. The unconditional love and tenderness of it all--
tagged by @herbs-and-poultices to post my last sentence written / tag as many people as there are words in the sentence / &c!
I've been a bit out of it when it comes to writing for the last While, and so I think this is the last bit I wrote, off the sharpe/jsamn crossover:
The man stared down at him. Harris stared back, suddenly desperate to know if a moth-eaten rabbit’s-foot luck charm would have any effect at all on a magician.
that, as usual, is too many words, so I shall merely tag @sanguinarysanguinity, @dxppercxdxver, @tgarnsl, @cedarboots, @lacomandante, @dotsayers, and @baronetcoins, if you'd like to share?