#Me and my sister actually talked at length about the trip

[downfallofi]

I used one day of PTO (plus the holiday today) to not have to go to work since 3 pm Friday and that was gr8, do recommend but it sucks that I won't be able to use more PTO for the trip my sister and Kiki are taking to Virginia later this month because it has been five years and thinking about just a side trip back home had it's small temptations; But yanno. You gotta go to work work work work

#Why #Did the demon in my skill come up with that (Fifth Harmony?i think) song #Bleh #Me and my sister actually talked at length about the trip #And while Id love to join them #This late it would be prohibitively expensive af to tag along #And as much as I miss Wawa sandwiches and coffee #And I really just. #Wanna see my mom's grave again #And talk to her #There really wasnt shit much else Id wanna do #That liminal space of I miss my home its been years #But I dont really think going back would be satisfying #eh #Anyway #Sucks I will miss this trip though #Sigh #Sorry #Long tags are long #I just have to get this thought somewhere

[suzy-queued]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

Thank you for the tag, @energievie!

Hello, my lovelies 🤗🥰 Going in the other direction this week and we're talking about latest/last/most recent stuff. But first, as usual:

Name: Deena

Age: One Nosho times two, minus two

Location: The mountains of Virginia, USA

And now...

Latest music discovery: I'm only now discovering the delightful sound of Charles Bradley.

Latest movie: Fight Club, which is one of my all-time favorites, but my kids had never seen it.

Last TV show you finished: Regular Show. I miss them already.

Most recently started book: Like, actual printed book? It's been a hot minute since I read one of those. But I've started re-reading The Wedding Planner by BeckyHarvey, which is novel-length. Does that count?

Most recent trip out of town: My mom and my sister-in-law had a getaway to Washington DC this past weekend.

Most recent trip out of the country: A Caribbean cruise in 2007. But I'm going to Switzerland next week!

Most recent gift you made yourself: I ordered a sweatshirt with the logo of Kimball University on it, from Under Lock and Key. Totally self-indulgent, but it brings me joy.

Most recent gift you made to someone else: My friend Cassy's birthday was in March, and I gave her a necklace.

Most recent text message you received: My husband saying "That's great!"

Most recent text message you sent: A text to my husband saying that my dad was alert and talking this morning.

Last fic you read: Office Space by Dynamicpower for energie_vie

Last drink you had: Chai with oat milk

Last thing you ate: Granola

Latest piece of clothing you bought: A pair of brown corduroy pants.

Latest piece of advice you received: You are allowed to take an hour to yourself. People who love you will understand.

Latest piece of advice you gave: It's okay for your products to be only 95% perfect (to my son who is creating all kinds of leatherworks to sell at an upcoming craft fair).

Latest thing you promised yourself: To be patient and appreciate small things every day. (Because, you know, one day you look back and realize they were the big things).

I'll tag... @deedala (only once this time!) @michellemisfit @francesrose3 @callivich @gillyp @silvanshadow @rereadanon @metalheadmickey @creepkinginc

#tag games #about me

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/9/2024

the BEAST (phil) has been SPAYED

listening

my sister ALSO, INDPENDENTLY, keeps tuesdayesqe lists in the back of her planner! which is what i used to do before these posts! You Got A Man by JAWNY is off her 2023 playlist. this philly artist's claim to fame seems to be that he dated doja cat for six months? the song is short, bratty, and fun indie/alt not-quite-rap. i have no knowledge of how much the man overlaps with the song. spotify

-

reading

ive never watched supernatural, except by osmosis bc i signed up for this website in 2011. this book is what i imagine people say when they say "what if supernatural was good?"

Rebecca Roanhorse's Trail of Lightning (her debut) and Storm of Locusts takes Maggie, a typical lone hero/monster hunter/horrible bitch of a woman (i say this approvingly) and says listen! you can do way sicker shit if you like. accept help and community and have a support system. it does not read like booktok found family or approach this in the typical fanfic way, which is refreshing. it points out that you will be a much longer lived and successful monster hunter this way. this is optimization, if you really look at it.

most postapoc stuff doesn’t contend with the fact (if it even acknowledges indigenous people at all) that indigenous people have already lived through several colonizing apocalypses. these books make a very sharp point that there is not a tremendous amount of difference between the reservation before the apocalypse and the reservation after the apocalypse. the worldbuilding in these is a interesting spin on sea levels plus the Energy Wars, to keep all of that at arms' length the Diné built a magical and physical wall, which i think is a funny spin on the trump border wall.

neither of them are really romance or kissing books, there is romantic interest but they are kept extremely busy not dying and admiring each other's competence. they are action and gore heavy. this is notable bc the books are fairly short (took me about two and a half hours each) and they have pretty fuckin good action scenes! the first book has an underground club and fight ring run by a cat god: club atmosphere was terrific (there's a bit about them having to drag in hastily camouflaged cheap walmart tables to handle some overflow and i instantly knew exactly the table), it had a dress up scene I was very weak to. i thought the series of events by which they ended up at the big boss battle post-club was kind of stupid but (forgivably) the big boss battle was quite enjoyable. figuring out what to do with your life next when you’re highly trained for a very specific thing but also not trained enough to be a serious danger and were set up to fail was extremely compelling to me, an astronomy major who cannot actually work in astronomy.

second book really hits its stride and (girl who has only played fallout voice) feels very fallout-y. desperate quest to save a loved one. girls' trip through a bunch of weird places with a bunch of weird guys. there's a lot of references that play with tone without ever going HEY REMEMBER THIS OTHER WORK YOU COULD GO LOOK AT RIGHT NOW? there’s a plane and a weird guy that made me think of mad max thunderdome, except the weird guy is his own character and has his own arc. there’s a weird grandpa on a boat who i don't think is a reference at all, except maybe to the timeless genre of weird grandpas on boats. there’s a sentient casino trapping people inside that reminded me of the new vegas dead money expansion, except Maggie barely steps inside bc she immediately gets caught up in a day-long battle of wits against the god of gambling. Maggie is a little more settled in her own skin now that she’s regularly talking to other people and has rejoined her community in her own small ways on her own terms and it HAS made her a much more successful monster hunter. the dialogue is snappier, the action scenes are more elaborate and smoothly choreographed. it's nice to watch an author grow so quickly (from this is serviceable to oh SHIT this is fun) over the course of a duology :) this feels like it was meant to be a trilogy but this book came out in 2019 so i am not holding my breath. it has a nice solid endpoint right here imo.

past sexual violence is sort of orbited around but no sexual violence is actually depicted, which i appreciate as a woman trying to enjoy postapoc.

libby has a very helpful Indigenous Voices category/reading guide/thing. thank u libby now i want to read everything else she's ever written

-

watching

saw a piece of fanart i cannot find now for the three minute short PUPARIA by Shingo Tamagawa.

Something is about to change drastically. We can only be witnesses to it.

it's a weird and stunningly beautiful little thing i am still worrying at like a dog with a peanut butter kong. if you have a thing about eyes or clusters of round shapes this is NOT the three minute short for you btw

-

playing

the free epic game was the Eidos Montreal Guardians of the Galaxy game, and since i am allergic to dead moms i will not be playing it. widely reviewed as "good writing, but not very much fun to actually play" so i don't feel like i'm missing out on too much.

i have no good story to tell about my time with genshin this week. we're aiming for "can i turn my brain off for forty minutes in the evening" and grinding a lot of one specific boss while listening to podcasts does seem to be enough to turn my brain off.

-

making

i have been frantically deep cleaning (including soaking the office in enzymatic cleaner [thanks phil]) bc my siblings are coming to town for a couple days and despite several setbacks (a completely different arrival time than the one they told me) and absolutely no sense of an itinerary we will be fine! we will all be fine and have fun! i will be SO fine and calm and chill and we will all have some fucking fun so help us god

ALSO also phil has finally been spayed and is now dealing with four separate issues: the giant wound still on her side, the spay incision, the necrotic abscess in her mouth from going too hard on a springy toy, and being underweight from trying to heal three things at once. we'll get there! we'll get there. it's just taking a while. we are going to have friday afternoon vet visits every week for the foreseeable future.

i love her so much and i'm glad she's feeling better but i genuinely think owning a horse would be cheaper than owning this one wonky cat. they shaved SO much of her tummy she looks even sillier than usual.

other than being Very Alert for the persistent little orange tomcat that keeps hopping up on my windowsill, mackie is doing fine. no concept of the fact that my siblings are going to pick her up more in two days than she gets picked up in a whole month. this is a girl that likes her feet on the ground thanks much

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #Youtube

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Welcome to the Family

If you want your description changed just tell me <3

According to @justarandomhumanpassingby I'm the paradesi philosopher <3

This is a (in progress) list of my tumblr family:

@dori-and-gray: my irreplaceable bestie who i love to the moon and back

@goodoldfashionedluvergirl: the beautiful, talented, lovable and honey voiced older sister

@the-eternal-seeker: the chill, oldest and wisest quadruplet who's always there to help; the only one in this family possessing anything resembling sanity

@technically-bean: my incredible quadruplet sister who always laughing and crying with me and whose probably either covered in dirt or reading another sad book)

@maddipoof: my other incredible twin quadruplet who thinks on the same wave length as me

@anyavaramyr: he therapist of my friend group who needs therapy herself heh(I'm broke, tumblr is less expensive than therapy). That one anxiety riddled perfectionist of the group tbh but I've been told I'm like the chaotic yet caring younger sister<3

@loverliner: my lil sister whos always vibing

@just-another-godless-god: my mischievous lil sister

@king-of-dholakpur: the oldest, deep thinking cousin who always knows what to say

@non-possum-invenire-bonum-url: the older, unhinged cousin who says everything i think but would never say (love your bio by the way)

@starlit-epiphany: my amazing supportive cousin who's been helping me in my identity crisis

@remen-nyoodles: my secret keeping cousin who I love dearly

@writingwitch007: my other secret keeping cousin who i love dearly and teases me incessantly

@chandrayee: the slightly fucked in the head cousin who randomly drops by animal facts!! (her words not mine; i can't tell you how hard i laughed at that 🤣)

@merapehlapyaarwaapasaagaya: my wonderful mother who i'd never forget

@midnight-rainnnn: the adorable cousin who is loved by everyone

@ishqhai-aapse: roach in my house that is secretly your granny that likes to sit in silence and read books xD

@yehdilkahehaye: the fun trying-to-act-like-an-adult cousin who will give you wise advices from time to time but will actually end up supporting you in all your insane decisions <3

@the-phantom-of-arda: The creative cousin who is quietly supportive of whatever you do. Who's DMs are a judgment-free zone and are willing to talk about anything.. she's too shy to DM first but wants to be friends.

Indumathi: my secret, anonymous admirer 🌕💘

@sincerelyyoursg: my beloved wife 💍

@shyamsakhii: hill dude who just likes to rant to friends and gossip and always misses it when the gc comes alive 😀🔫

@ell0ra-br3kk3r: the neighbor friend who's part time musician, part time author part time sane but unhinged at the same time; love to go by their house when they're back from paris

@ultimategenius: neighbor who i've adopted (welcome to the family)

@offo-yashika: one of the cousin's queer girlfriend who always rocks the stage with their dance<3

@kaagazkefool: the beloved latest addition to the fam who's excited and nervous of they'd fit

@thebestieyoureinlovewith: the friend that will give endless headpats

@mee-iykyk: the extroverted friend who adopts introverts

@insanity-is-my-vanity: my new friend (you’re mine now)

@inxj-ghxfa: the mom friend who gives out questionable, but reliable advice

@justarandomhumanpassingby: some person i claimed off the streets; saw them and was like "you're mine now" <3

@morningmiss: the cousin who checks up on me from time to time ♥

@vamp-rom-stuff: ellora's friend she brought back from her trip to France

@a-really-hot-caterpillar: we ain't mutuals yet but i'd be an idiot not to add him so he's my newest unhinged brother (adopted <3)

@hopefulmillennial: my favorite aunt (you remind me of my favorite aunt irl <3)

I love that like 80 percent of my tumblr family is desi 💖💝💕

reply what description you wanna be added with <3

@yehdilkahehaye, @humapkehaikaun, @hell-lit011019, @shyamsakhii, @anyavaramyr, @bookish-alone, @bibliophile-dendrophile, @iservemydog, @oh-sita, @moons-scar, @loverliner, @woahlifehitsyahuh, @the-phantom-of-arda, @puppy-coded, @sanskari-kanya

literally anyone who wants to join can join :)

If your name isn't up here please tell me; some of them are just disappearing.

[1863-project]

What *are* bullet trains, really? I know that the hype around them is how fast they are, but how do they work? Is there anything specific that makes them faster or is it just thanks to the more streamlined design?

I'm going to do my best to put this in layman's terms, so feel free to let me know if anything is confusing!

The term Shinkansen literally translates into "new main line" or "new trunk line." The project was originally discussed in the 1930s, but World War II more or less put it on hold for some time. In the earliest days of the project, the design of the trainsets did lead them to be referred to as "dangan ressha," which does actually translate to "bullet train." One of the major people spearheading the project was Hideo Shima, who was also responsible for the D51 and C62 steam locomotives, both beloved in Japan to this day. His greatest champion was Shinji Sogou, who knew the Shinkansen needed to be standard gauge to operate at higher speeds. Despite opposition, Sogou convinced politicians to back the plans for what would become the Tokaido Shinkansen. When it got too expensive, both Shima and Sogou resigned, but today they're regarded far more favorably, because the line was absurdly successful right out of the gate. Before the Shinkansen, it took over six hours to get between Tokyo and Osaka. The new train, launched in 1964 just in time for the Olympics, did the same trip in four hours, and was doing it in three hours and ten minutes one year later.

This post isn't really meant to talk about history, though, it's about how these things work, so let's get down to it.

The key to their success: the Shinkansen uses EMUs, electric multiple units.

If you live in an urban area, you've probably seen an EMU before if your city has mass transit. The NYC Subway, for one example, uses EMUs. There are no set locomotives on the Shinkansen, just cars with cabs; as you've probably seen, the ones where engineers drive from have those lovely streamlined snouts. This actually reduces the weight of the trainset, as they don't need to keep a power source on board - all their power is transmitted from the electrical wires above via pantographs. The pantograph is the little arm that reaches up from the train to touch the wires. Here's a Pennsylvania Railroad GG1 with a pantograph up for comparison:

(image source; this GG1 is Blackjack and she lives at the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania in Strasburg, PA)

The modern pantographs on the Shinkansen trainsets are a lot sleeker and quieter. Here's how it looks on the E6:

(image source)

The Shinkansen cars also have a larger loading gauge than most rolling stock. This means trains can have 5-across seating instead of the 4-across seating most passenger trains do, which in turn means you can move the same amount of passengers with a shorter, and therefore lighter, trainset.

They also benefit from traction - all wheel axles are powered, because the Shinkansen are EMUs. More motored axles means higher acceleration, which means the Shinkansen can stop more frequently and immediately pick up the pace right away once it's time to get moving again. Because of this, Shinkansen lines have more stops in proportion to their lengths than other high-speed rail systems do, since they can accelerate back up to top speed faster.

The current fastest Shinkansen model is my favorite, the E5 and its sister, the H5.

(image source)

The E5 and the H5 can hit around 200 mph at their maximum when they're allowed to stretch their legs, and they have the most gorgeous streamlining, with sleek snouts and really cool paint jobs. I have a few models of the E5 in my room in my apartment.

They'll be surpassed in speed when the SCMaglev officially opens - but that's an entirely different form of technology from the Shinkansen. That thing is going to be incredible.

Importantly, the Shinkansen lines are kept completely separate from slower lines.

This way, they don't cross with narrow gauge trains, other passenger trains, or freight trains, which enables them to run at higher speeds without having to slow down or stop to let other trains through. This also allows them to maintain those speeds safely. If you're American, you're probably aware of how this limits Amtrak speeds - they have to share the rails with the freight companies, and even on the Northeast Corridor, where the Acela runs, there are only a few pockets where the trains can really whip because of this. This is actually a crucial element to making high-speed rail successful and safe.

I hope this is what you had in mind, anon!

#replies #I like trains

[izumi-fanclub]

A3! Event Story Translation “SSR Family” [ Epilogue ]

Enough excuses, enough delay, here it is.

Konomi’s wedding is finally over, just in time for taruchi’s anniversary stream.

Itaru Phew…

Chikage Mission accomplished, I take it.

Sakuya Welcome back! How’d the wedding go?

Itaru I’m drained as hell. Ah, Juza, I got you some goodies to munch on.

Juza Baumkuchen?* Thanks.

Izumi Was the wedding ceremony in a church?

Itaru Yep. Seems like sis called the shots on it. The church had some pretty gorgeous stained glass and everything.

Izumi Woaahh! That sounds really lovely~.

Citron I want to attend such a church as well!

Tsuzuru Don’t you mean hold a wedding ceremony in one?

Chikage If one of the Spring Troupe members ever get married, we’ll all be there.

Masumi I’ll only have the director there, not any of you.

Citron Oh!? We will be on the lookout outside then!

Masumi But if it’s the wedding reception, I wouldn’t mind handing out invites.

Itaru We’d definitely need a family table for our seating.

Masumi I’ll have an original movie screened of how I met the director at the reception. (Roughly 2 and a half hours.)*

Tsuzuru That’s longer than a feature-length film.

Chikage Sounds like an authentic documentary.

Masumi The company will then hold a Spring Troupe original based on my meeting with the director up till now.

Tsuzuru A performance on top of a damn movie?!

Chikage How many times can we even be shown the same song and dance?

Sakuya Ahaha.

Itaru Then again, it’s also a bit weird having a brother-in-law.

Tsuzuru Yeah, I get what you mean. My second brother’s married, too, whenever my sister-in-law drops by, I get a little nervous. Might be because my siblings are just a bunch of dudes, not a single sister in sight.

Izumi Do you think you’ll get along with your brother-in-law?

Itaru At first I was tense cause he felt like too much of a normie, until I found out he kept getting his ass handed to him every day in the game I lent him. So I’m coaching him in online play about once a week so he’d stop taking Ls. You get to bond with someone fast when chatting together while gaming.

Tsuzuru It’s kind of like communicating in a way only you can do through games.

Itaru Gaming’s the best communication tool out there. Masumi and I even had a heart-to-heart moment during his performance as Alex.*

Masumi We barely broke the ice.

Itaru That’s right, speaking of games,《taruchi》is gonna have his 7th anniversary stream next weekend.

Tsuzuru Talk about sudden.

Itaru Senpai’s overseas business trip schedule lands on that weekend. I’ll ping the whole company in our LIME chat about Room 103 on Saturday and Sunday. Thanks for not disturbing.

Sakuya You’re gonna play Kniroun VII with challenges set, right? I’ll tune in on the stream.

Itaru Ah, I had VII in mind at first but I ended up going with a different numbering.

Itaru Sleep— check, food— check, water— check, backup equipment in case of emergencies— check. Alright, let’s do this. …

《taruchi》 Good evening. Since it’s the 7th anniversary, I’ll talk about some memories I’ve had of my activities before I go on. I was actually planning to play Kniroun VII since it’s my 7th anniv active. But in the spirit of looking back on memory lane, I’ve decided to just do an endurance stream of the remastered version of Kniroun I that I played in my first ever stream. By the way, I’m not running away cause the challenge set is hella hard. Don’t jump to conclusions. Ah, I’ve kept most of the archives from my early days private cause I cringe at it. It’s gaining traction from people today, but back then it was completely dry and lonely. Fr, fr. The oldest viewer I had was this interesting person, kind of a hater, really. That user hasn’t commented in a while. I was able to do my best since there’s someone who’s there to watch, even if it’s just one. That person has led me to where I am today and I’m grateful for it all. Hey, that listener back then! You living life happily these days?

Itaru …Hm?

Nomin “Pretty happy.”

Itaru (lets out a small laugh to himself.)

Story Clear!

[ Prev. Chap. ]

----T/N----

A baumkuchen cake is akin to a bundt cake, in other words, think of a donut shaped cake.

Yes, he did say this with parentheses in his dialogue box.

This is a reference to a scene in the Event play “Alex/Boy Alice In Wonderland” wherein Masumi and Itaru open up to each other while playing against each other in an arcade.

#a3 #a3! #a3 translation #a3! trans #a3! translation #a3! event story translation #ssr family #epilogue #itaru chigasaki #sakuya sakuma #masumi usui #tsuzuru minagi #citron #chikage utsuki #juza hyodo #OTSUKAREEEE #im so sorry it took... like forever

[eternitas]

Tell us about your bun boy, the world needs to know about him. Who cares if it isn't lore compliant

@wanderin-rook @deathmeddle @saanphoenix @niceaxephotos

Okay so because these people were so kind to indulge me and ask, allow me to give you a short introduction to Yoon before I give you an actual sheet with his stats and all

Also DISCLAIMER: I am not through with A Realm Reborn and therefor have limited knowledge of Vierra so most of this is NOT canon compliant.

So

This.

Is Yoon

Yoon is a Vierra from the Ishgardian snowy mountains. Due to his village and subesquently his baby sister falling terribly ill he took her down the mountain to find someone who could cure her, but ended up in Gridania where he stayed for a good bit. He is NOT A WOL, he is more of a support character for my WOLs squad. Since he is skilled with a spear/lance he later down the line takes up a job as a dragoon. He also has a boif, called Lemuel (played by my irl fiance @kyuji)

I will get to their story later bc its Spicey with a capital S

Here are more in depth stats and a more thorough recount of his story until he arrived in Gridania. Also beware of bigger Font for readability.

Name: Yoon Dorochnewesfv

Age: he never talks about his age, but you can count him around 20ish in human years at the beginning of "A Realm Reborn"

Lineage: Vierra - Veena

Birthplace: Ishgard East Mountainrange/ Yaga village

More info: Yaga Village is an interesting one in its history, as it has been established many many generations ago. Its history is passed down oraly by the elder female Veena and says that they were once send by a divine power to guard the lucious mountains, but with time the climate changed and it became a landscape of ice and snow. However the Vierra could not abandon what they promised to protect and so they stayed in Yaga for centuries, adapting to the new climate. While it is one village its population is divided into different families, named after old Viera matriarchs. Dorochnewes was one of them.

Affiliation: Gridania

Class/Job: Lancer, later Dragoon (tho also versed with a bow)

Status: mated to Lemuel

Physical Describtion: Yoon is a Snow Mountain Veena with almost completely white skin, white hair and white ears and tail. Only the tips of his ears, the tip of his tail and his toes are black/dark blue furred. He has feint freckles in his face, his left eye is white while his right eye is a deep blue. Originally both eyes were blue, but due to an injury he sustained on his trip down the mountain he got partially blind on his left eye and bears a scar on the side of his face. His hair is a bit longer than shoulder length and he has the natural height of Vieras, though among his species he is average in height to slightly shorter. He has very strong legs as most Vierra and rabbit feet with white furr and black toes. Different to other Vierras those of his village have the ability to cover their skin with a layer of furr when in cold regions so there is little need to bundle up for them. The furr falls off and sheds in warmer regions and is, as most of Yoon, completely snow white.

Backstory:

Born as the middle child of a renowned huntress in the tribe, there was a lot of hope in Yoon to be female, as his older sibling turned out male, which was seen as a disappointment to the tribe. His mother did not love him any less and only two years, after his younger siblings birth, his father died. All the more disappointment was once it became clear that Yoon was a male Vierra, which made his mother now have two sons and not a single heiress.

But not shortly after his younger sibling Taya was confirmed to be female, the entire tribe was slowly falling ill to a terrible disease. By then Yoon had been out on his own for quite a few years only hearing of the illness from other male Vierra that visited the tribe. Since his mating cycle was coming close he decided to make an earlier visit to the tribe and to check on his family only to find his mother and little sister terribly ill. By now even a few male Vierras had contracted the disease, however they seemed to recover with little issue while the female population seemed to suffer greatly and even die from it.

His mother knew she was not going to make it and sent Yoon with his sister down the mountain to get at least their youngest into a city where she could get medical treatment, as the tribe was incapable of finding a cure. Yoon knew this would lead to them being banished, but promised to take his sister to safety. He then made his way down the mountain, giving whatever he could hunt to his sister and keeping her alive, while he got by with mere scraps. He went slowly and steadily to make sure he wouldn't overexert his young sister, taking breaks to warm up and let her get some proper sleep.

It's during his way down that he, delirious and weak from little nourishment and sleep deprivation, slips during a snowstorm and tumbles down a steeper and cliffier path, causing him to gravely injure his left side of his face and damaging his eye. He took some time to take care of himself and Taya, who he could luckily shield enough to not get hurt, and with newfound strength made his way further down. However when he came to Coerthas he was met with closed gates and hostility as the nation of Ishgard was in grave tension due to their fight with the dragons. At least one helpful individual by the name of Estinien directed him south towards Gridania, saying Yoon should ask there for a cure.

On his way to Gridania he traverses the forests, unable to hunt, due to his new adjustment to his eyes and being unable to blend in with the green flora. He pushed through by sheer willpower and eventually collapsed in the City of New Gridania, being taken in by Mother Miounne and given a temporary stay to recover. So now Yoon was in Gridania, a place completely different from his home and taking care of his very ill sister. He is aware that he will need money to come by, pay for their stay and especially Tayas treatment so he joins the adventure guild and becomes a Lancer. However doing quests and hunting himself manages to pose itself as a big difficulty. Yoons entire appereance is natural to a snowy and rocky environment with little to no vegetation and he just recently lost most of his eyesight in one eye, having to relearn how to aim and see the world.

It's during this time that he meets another Vierra.... Lemuel.

Character: Yoon is not too hard to read if you are familiar with vierran expression through their ears. His face seems very unmoving and his tone usually stays the same, but his ears give him away far easier as he never had the need to control that. He does learn to open up and be more expressive around people he knows and likes, to strangers however he is cold and distant at first. He is awkward with other people and gets along better with other men, while he has great respect and shows politeness to women and non binary individuals. He is by no means uncaring, sometimes even being too caught in his own emotions as he left to the villages outskirts in his teens only one year after being fully identified as male. He has therefore little social skills and doesnt know much about ettiquette or how to handle his own emotions. Due to the Party, especially the Miqo'te girl Anayeli, he learns to understand emotions and social interactions more, however it often still shows, that he just comes from a completely different background.

He is often led by instinct and his learned skills as a hunter, prioritizing  survival over anything else, that he almost naturally sacrifices his own comfort. As a Vierra male that grew up in the snowy mountains he doesnt do well with heat and had a hard time adjusting to the new climate or the forest environment (Thanalan is his personal nightmare). It's usually uncomfortable for him to stand out due to his appereance, but with time most Gridanians learned to just let him be and do his thing and not stare, because it will trigger his flight instincts. He can be quite childish, when he does feel comfortable and as he had not run a single mating cycle yet has little sexual experience (until he meets Lem). It is his long term goal to find a cure for his sister and if possible bring the cure to the last remaining Vierra of his tribe and to fulfill that goal he is willing to go great lengths tho he has his principles and sticks to them, trying to live a life of which his mother would be proud and he has not to be ashamed of.

Trivia:

-Yoon can not swim. He never needed to learn. Lem teaches him to at least not completely drown.

-as with most Vierra his ears are very sensitive and he puts special wachs mixed with cotton in his ears to dull the noise. It is also why he prefers the quiet nature more than bustling groups of people

-Yoon doesnt exactly see himself as part of the Gridanian population and more as an outsider that happens to stay in the city, which makes him far more sympathetic with some of the wild tribes than most

-his favourite food is Honey Custard Tart, a sweet baked good that is filled with a custard that is mixed with honey and a honey glace on top. He never tasted honey before so when he got the good as a reward from a comission he got immideatly hooked.

-As the mountains are not as rich in vegetation as the forest Yoon was much more prone to have a meat heavy diet, which is only proven more by his sharp teeth and canines, that almost seem to match more Miqo'tes teeth. However he does prefer to have a vegetarian diet if he can help it.

-Yoons brother Eleesh disappeared about a year before the disease befell their tribe and its unknown if he died or not

-While they don't show much PDA, Yoon and Lem have a very active sex life, with Yoon being the one with the driving libido.

-as with most Vierra, Yoons strongest aspect are his legs. He can jump pretty high and far and is a very fast runner, being able to zigg zagg and make quick turns rather easily.

-and yes. He has pawbeans

-Usually Viera give up their forest names after having left their tribe, but Yoon holds onto his name as it is the last remains he has of his mother. However he does emphasize that he prefers to be called by his first call name instead of his full name or last name, as it is a very personal detail to him. He will often introduce himself as "Yoon. Just Yoon is fine."

-he finds Miqo'te to be unnerving due to their intense eyes and the natural predator disposition, Elezen to be unnerving for their height and especially Au'ra men for their size and sharp scales. Roegadyn and Hrothgar, no matter the gender, instinctly trigger his flight response.

-despite being dispositioned as prey, Yoon is very skilled with his lance and an incredible hunter... at least in the snowy mountains. In Gridania he passes as average when it comes to hunting, so he is much more prone to choose flight as an option.

More unrelated pictures as done by @kyuji

I will post the couple ones in my follow up

Thank you for reading!!!!

#final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #ff14 oc #ffxiv oc #yoon #thank you so so much for aksing i will probably make one followup talking about just yoon and Lem but that's for future me #i love my bun boy so much you have no idea #there is a theme amongst a lot of my characters being older or middle siblings putting themselves aside to care for their younger siblings #trust me i wished i was far more patient with drawing or i would draw yoon all the time #tho i have heared Lemmy say that the boys hair is a nightmare to draw #thank you again for indulging me QwQ #own character #oc #original character

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Ahoy Steph 🙌, I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about yourself and what kind of tropes and stories you enjoy? Wanna get to know a little more about who is behind the blog if you don't mind🤸

Hey Nonny!

Sorry for the delay in a reply... just haven't "felt it" the past couple months, and after a nice 2 week break (and now a slow day at work), I feel more up to answering a long-form ask today, LOL.

So, I won't reveal too much about myself that isn't already public, since I try to keep my online and personal lives separate (and I come from an age where people usually DID do this because no one needs to know every little bit about you). The basics are that I'm a 41-year-old Canadian dork who loves video games, animation, movies, drawing, writing, and making music. I'm a graphic designer by trade, and have been for nearly 20 years, and I love it (if you need something designed or laid out, hit me up, I freelance on the side for extra spending money). I love dragons and puppies and kitties. I've been in fandom spaces for as long as I can remember, even before the internet. First major fandom I was a part of was Sonic the Hedgehog in my teen years, used to be a pretty popular writer back then. I moved on to Darkwing Duck in my 20s, then TMNT and then Sherlock (I'm a fan of a TONNE more things, but these were the active fanbases I had a presence in). These days I'm more of a lurker than actively participating, though Sherlock has been the longest one I haven't really moved on from. I like the casualness of what I've built here, and I think that's been a huge benefit for my mental health.

Hmm... my fave food is mac and cheese, but had to cut back on it a lot, so these days it's mostly chicken, lol. Fave dessert is cheesecake. Again, not supposed to eat it because of the dairy and sugar, so if I make it, I use lactose-free cheese. I treat myself once-a-year on my birthday, usually.

My current dream is to own a home. I've been trying to make it happen for almost 10 years now, and every time I get close, the goal-post gets shifted as housing prices skyrocket. It makes me very sad.

My dream holiday is a Disney cruise OR somewhere tropical; wanted to do these since I was 20. Secondary dream WAS going back to Disney World for my 40th, but now it's for my 45th or 50th, hopefully with SOMEONE (no one wants to go with me, hence the back-burner on this one). Listen, I know how awful Disney is. I just... really loved being there. It's easy to forget a lot of things when you're there. Third dream is a cross-country LITERAL nostalgia road trip with my sister. We used to go on 2-week-long, cross-Canada road trips when we were kids, and I just... want to kind of relive those, y'know? Lots of fond memories. Again, something that's just a dream because while my sister wants to do it, she doesn't want to be an alternate driver, so. Yeah, I can't do the driving alone.

Uh... Hmm. Not sure what else I should talk about here, if there's something specific y'all want to know, just ask :)

As for fave tropes, I love fake relationship fics the most, I think, followed by pining and movie rewrites with characters... I'm actually pretty easy-going when it comes to tropes, really. Willing to read any trope at least once to see if I like it.

Oddly, though, I prefer stories that are SUPER in-character (to how I read them, anyway) AND focus a lot on character studies and relationships with other characters. Novel-length stories are usually the best for it, but shorter ones can be too. I prefer fanfics more these days because I don't have to think about how these characters SHOULD be and focus more on the world that the author created. When I do read published novels, though, they're usually fantasy books. One of my fave series ever is the Inkheart Trilogy. Just an easy read from book one.

Yeah, so that's a little bit about me, to start off 2023 AND for any newbies that have just recently found me.

Thanks again for your curiosity :) Again, if you have anything you want more elaboration on, I can at my discretion.

#steph replies #about me #chatting with nonnies #ask me anything

[kimkaelyn]

kaelyn!! i am dropping by with some good music and new year wishes! 🎶🎉 thank you so much for being part of my 2023 🥹 i think you're so sweet!!

if i may ask!! 🥺 (pls feel free not to answer if uncomfy!!) how was 2023 for you? what’s a favourite thing (anything) you discovered this year? do you have any reflections from the past year? any resolutions for the next? 🥹

Oh my gosh, shotorus!!!! 🥹🥹🥹💗💗💗 thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad you were apart of my 2023 as well! Cheers to next year🥂

This is such a great question and it made me pause and think for a good while (I’m typing this out in my notes app lol) I haven’t reflected on my year yet so I’m doing it here.

I apologize for the length lmao.

Warning - mention of trauma (nothing graphic- literally just one line)

My 2023 was an interesting and exciting year, but also one of great challenges. Regardless, I am so proud of my accomplishments this year. I left my teen years behind and entered my twenties! Now I gotta figure out how to be an actual adult LMAO. On that note, I quit my toxic job of almost two years and was unemployed for a good two months until I started working at my current job. I traveled outside of the country for the first time. I spent 3 weeks in July with my Uncle traveling Europe. This trip was the highlight of my year for so so so so many reasons. It was also my first time leaving home and being separated from my parents for a long period of time.

Being away from home wasn’t as bad as I was scared it was going to be—I actually loved it. While on my trip, I learned so much about myself as a person and figured out what I want in life for myself. I actually learned how to think for myself instead of others this year, which is a big deal because I am always so worried about others that I never take the time to take care of myself.

On this trip, I had a lot of epiphanies. My family isn’t perfect—we have our issues like everyone else……but this year I actually started to sit down and start to unpack some of my unresolved childhood trauma. It’s nothing graphic, trust me, but let’s just say that my sister and I only had each other 90% of the time. My sister and I have started to actually talk about our experiences with one another and are slowly coming to terms with it and heal. I am so proud of this. We are making progress that should have started years ago, but it’s not too late. There is hope!

As for resolutions….i want to do better—by myself and others. I want to actually put myself first in some cases and do what’s best for me and my mental health instead of catering to others. Does that make me selfish? I don’t know….

My overall goal is to get accepted into university and get started on my future—on my own two feet and not relying on others, at least for now. I want to be independent for the first time in my life. I’m TERRIFIED, but I know that I will be okay.

I have a great support system—I got all of y’all here, my family, my boyfriend, and my irl friends. I am so thankful to all of you, even if we don’t talk much and only interact by liking each others posts. Meeting my mutuals on here has been a highlight of my year, and I am so happy to go into the New Year with you all. Regardless of if you live nearby or on the other side of the word, I am super thankful to each and everyone of you. I cannot put it into words. I love you all and I pray that you are blessed in 2024

💗🫶🏻✨

#to: kaelyn #from: shotorus-interact #2023 reflections #cheers to the new year🥂✨ #cw: trauma

[tadpolesonalgae]

this chapter was so good! i feel like we got to see a little of everyone's thoughts here which im glad because her view of everything really is so limited. there's so much to say omg i hope i don't rant for too long

first the azriel pov was good to see how things are going from his side but it does kinda suck that he still mostly cares just because of his job. i hope we actually get some feelings from him soon, even if platonic because things aren't looking good for reader

maybe i've been too hard on the ic lol but i stand by that they should try harder. i get elain telling nesta she needs time but this has been going on for years and no matter how much reader likes reading and staying up in her room it's not healthy. i get it worked for elain but it's clearly getting worse for reader so i hope after this shopping trip they start pulling her out of her comfort zone more and more, like it doesn't have to be dinners with everyone but at least once or twice a week making sure someone takes her out of the house even to like a bakery or something for at least an hour isn't that hard to do and it helps a lot. i know i get stuck on this issue a lot but i think ive said before that im kind of similar to reader in a way, ive always had a tendency to isolate myself and i cant really do large groups of people but my family has always pulled me out of it and dragged me to do something and i was usually mad the entire time and sometimes half in a panic but it works. giving her time and space is good but after months and especially years that space is just making her more and more isolated and makes it harder to help. and i think the biggest thing is that its been years since she's been fae but it makes sense that they had their hands full with the war and then nesta was on a way more self destructive path and then nyx so i get it but i wish they helped more. and i get elain not wanting to make her more uncomfortable but she's not really helping to be honest, just because she likes being in her room it doesn't make it good at all and nesta is right. it's been too long for them to still be letting her hide from everything, it's clear she isn't okay.

as much as i loved the chapter it was so frustrating to read. reader really doesn't think she deserves anything good and it sucks. like not even clothes? i know mor saw how bad it was so i hope this makes the ic move more because this isn't a good way to live at all and there are so many red flags with reader at this point. she clearly isolates herself, she thinks she doesn't deserve anything good, she keeps comparing herself to everyone physically, she has no self esteem at all. the moments where she was examining the dress she liked and from the description it was a wool full length dress and she still found a way to think it was revealing? i never had much hope for her style but she really dresses like a nun and it also shows that she isn't comfortable with herself at all. also when she thought she was being selfish for buying clothes? im sorry to elain but reader doesn't need more space, she needs everyone to have a really serious conversation with her and tell her that she doesn't need to do anything to deserve a normal life and normal things, honestly i think it should be nesta or all the sisters because this is has bad as nesta was before acosf, she just hides instead of lashing out. and then she needs someone to start pushing her a bit, she'll have to be uncomfortable before she gets better but she can't keep going like this, she's basically punishing herself for breathing. eris would be good for the pushing her a bit part but i hope someone actually talks to her first.

the part when the ic finds out either about her powers or eris is going to be really messy but i hope it comes soon and honestly i kinda hope she says some of what she's feeling, even if it's in the middle of a breakdown because something needs to happen and she's not going to be able to do it without everyone's help. she has such a long way to go and she only seems like she's getting worse so i hope we get to see her starting to heal soon - 🧶

‘there's so much to say omg i hope i don't rant for too long’

I love whenever you send these in! It’s so fun to see you dissect the chapter and so heartwarming too 🥹🫂🫂

‘even if platonic because things aren't looking good for reader’

I hate to say it, but things are probably going to get worse before they get better 🫣 (maybe 👀)

I will admit, it would be nice to write them having a normal exchange for once? Maybe when reader’s come back from an outing and she’s too frazzled from so much interaction for her nerves to set in 🤭

‘ i get it worked for elain but it's clearly getting worse for reader’

I mean I suppose from their perspective reader and Elain are kind of similar in that they’re both pretty quiet and reserved so it would make sense that perhaps reader would have the same coping mechanisms as her? But yeah, now that it’s been two years and there’d kind of time to relax (👀) and things haven’t changed, Nesta at least is beginning to notice some stuff :/

‘but at least once or twice a week making sure someone takes her out of the house’

Also she does go out with Bas every now and then so they would have taken that into consideration, but at the same time I’ve head-cannoned it that they don’t know the nature of her and Bas’ relationship? Az at least thinks it’s still purely platonic (on reader’s side) so that might be fun for when the penny finally drops 🫣🤭

‘ and i was usually mad the entire time and sometimes half in a panic but it works.’

Gosh I know what you mean 🫠

In the moment it’s stressful and you don’t want to be there, but years later the memories are actually kind of fondly viewed? I think that will probably be the case with reader once she begins to get used to the company?

‘from the description it was a wool full length dress and she still found a way to think it was revealing?’

Yup! (Can you imagine how comfy that would be? 🫠) She certainly has some problems with seeing how she looks, and I like to think a lot of that comes from spending so long being forced to let go of her beauty when she was younger? Like she remembers how wonderful and full of colour her childhood was and has kind of glorified and exaggerated that in her mind? Memory has shifted it to be much more rich and beautiful than it probably was, so in the back of her mind she’s comparing how things used to be with her years in poverty, and stuck thinking instead of how lucky things have turned out and accepting them, thinking how she just doesn’t deserve them anymore :/

‘she needs everyone to have a really serious conversation with her’

There certainly will be a serious conversation at some point 👀🤭

‘eris would be good for the pushing her a bit part but i hope someone actually talks to her first.’

So this part I’m a little scared to write because once it’s out then everything else will have to happen 😭

The moment Elain talks with her and Eris starts to help (in his own skewered way, of course) then the story is going to have to move forward and I’m genuinely so scared to mess it up

‘the part when the ic finds out either about her powers or eris is going to be really messy’

Yeah… 😬😬😬

‘and honestly i kinda hope she says some of what she's feeling,’

It’s definitely going to be cathartic when she manages to do something for herself, let’s just hope the ic will be able to prioritise that over the mess with Eris 👀

Thank you so much for sending this in!! It’s always so wonderful to read through your thoughts and reply to them—it honestly makes me smile so wide to see these whenever you send them in 🧡💛🫂

#🧶 anon <3 #🧶 #cbmthy

[thegenderfluidace]

fair points

I like that they made it easier to gain experience bc you can just send your pokemon out

story length for me personally doesn't feel much different

before I had my own switch I was able to borrow one from my dad's colleague and I played let's go pikachu and got through it in less than a day

Pokémon Y will always stay one of my favourites tho, amazing game

anyways, I believe I was supposed to remind you to tell me about your DnD game

Ah, suppose that’s fair. Idk I always get so distracted and then it takes me forever to finish the story, especially with all the exploration, so guess that’s why it feels longer for me

But!!! Yes yes!! I am absolutely gonna tell ya about the session!!

Okay so we started out and the prince decided, yknow what screw this and pulled out his blowgun and was gonna attack us, we’re still in the Inn in his and Kacis room. Alister goes to tackle him since we can’t really beat em up, I absolutely fail the roll so Alister trips on their wayyyy to long cloak, and I decide aw heck it and now Ali has just decided to give up and lay on the floor unless they become needed again

Prince goes shoots his dart, absolutely fails and misses completely

Kaci being the noble who does not wanna beat up the prince is like ‘ayy can’t we just talk it out? No need to fight cmon’ absolutely rizzes our guy and persuaded him to not try and hit Kaci and Ali but still has absolutely no trust in Ray which is completely understandable, he is Ray and also almost accidentally killed em whoops,

So now it’s Rays turn and seeing as the situation has deescalated, decides to tell him he doesn’t care and won’t actually go beat em up as long as he doesn’t do anything, like yknow, try and hit em with darts again

Prince is like fineee gives Kaci the dart gun and now Kaci and the prince have to get ready since they’ve not actually gotten ready yet. Ray decides to go downstairs for breakfast, picks up Ali who is still on the floor in their lil ball of cloak, and they go to breakfast

Kaci and the prince get ready and Kaci like the nerd he is decides to change his clothes in his sleeping bag and once hes done the prince has been done for awhile so they also head down to breakfast

Ray has eggs absolutely coated in pepper, he got them Emo eggs, Ali had toast, they also just look at the eggs and sneeze, like ray my dude that’s wayyy too much pepper. Kaci and the prince come down. Kaci also gets toast looks at rays eggs and sneezes. Prince decided he was good. Ray asks why he decided to run away, prince says he can’t answer here but he will when they leave town

They leave town to go return the prince to the castle. We get some lore dump. Turns out when the prince was lil his parents had him and his sister fight to the death for who will be heir to the kingdom. So yep my guy Richard killed his sister and he decided years later to run away because he didn’t want to rule. We also get some Kaci lore cause apparently his friend and their twin were also made to fight to the death and his friend killed his twin but couldn’t handle the guilt so he also died.

Also this is mentioned oh so incredibly casually, like we all got traumatic backstories and we all like yeah it happened or whatever

So yeah Ray was like okay fair, and went and kinda laid out the princes options. He either be a coward and run away or return and do nothing, or he could actually do something upon his return and if he wants they’ll even help him cause he doesn’t really want these psychos running the kingdom either

The prince is still incredibly unsure of even trying to do anything, while Ray is just like well these are the options, but Kaci doesn’t like how it feels like Ray is pressuring the prince and how Ray doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a noble or the situation

Anyway it ends up with Kaci and Ray having an absolutely heated fight, with both the characters and actual players getting genuinely mad for their point and I’m barely understanding and getting overwhelmed from the fight, so imagine Alister who genuinely understands like none of this

Eventually Ray is just done and is like fine I’ll just leave then and he starts walking away and Kaci is like fine and starts walking the other way telling Ali to follow and Alister is just left in the middle so so confused and conflicted and overwhelmed.

DM asks what Ali does and I decided the best course of action is to sit down in a ball and scream.

Kaci feels bad now and stops, Ray stops for a moment then keeps walking. Ray walks behind a tree and DM asks them to roll a D4, they roll a one and now Ray is Rhea. Personality/character swap time! We have not met Rhea yet so she just came out from behind the tree incredibly confused.

She sees Ali comes over and asks if they’re okay(which they are very much not) Alister just goes and cuddles into them, Rhea just picks em up while comforting them and basically being like welp idk where I am mind if I join? And so now we’ve got sweet baby girl Rhea

So they stop for a quick break so Ali can calm down. Kaci apologizes for letting things get so out of hand especially since they know Ali wouldn’t have understood any of it and really only heard the screaming.

They all chill out when Rhea starts a braid train, or more like hair doing/fixing train since it’s really only Kaci getting their hair rebraided, Ali getting the excess plant life out of their hair and it just fixed up a bit and the prince also getting their hair fixed a bit.

Kaci asks if they’re ready to go, Ali walks a bit away screams, comes back and says their good to go and off they head.

Rhea absolutely ships Kaci and the prince and so they go and walk farther ahead with Ali so the prince and Kaci can talk(Rhea does not know he is the prince)

Prince is annoyed that Kaci cannot properly clean their glasses so cleans em for em. Kaci accidentally fizzes the prince and they just kinda chat about life and stuff. Ali and Rhea just chatting meanwhile

Eventually Rhea sees a sparkle, goes over to investigate and finds a lake! Good timing since it’s starting to get late and they need to set up camp. Rest of the group comes over, Kaci falls down the hill to the lake whoops, sets up a fire and stuff. Alister is incredibly suspicious of the safety of this location as this is definitely the biggest source of water they’ve ever seen and most Underdark water sources are heavily guarded. Rhea just kinda plays around as well as sets up more of camp as well. Prince pulls out a lute, Ali has now seen/heard an instrument and is amazed yet still alert cause suspicious. Lil dance party ensues. Everyone gets ready to head in for the night basically when everyone with dark vision(aka everyone but Rhea) sees a large ripple/wave coming from the lake and that something is coming towards them. And that is where we finished last!(sorry that was long these are like 3+ish hour sessions)

And also right after we finished and all left and that I realized that Alister does NOT know how to swim, paddle, or even really how to stay afloat whatsoever. They have never been/seen a large/deep enough water source to ever even really try…. So this could go incredibly bad lol haha ^^''

[beneaththegildedmoon]

So I just found out my friend is in the process of being sectioned for their mental health and obviously I hope they are OK and that they get the care they need but also we know about this from their sister and she hasn't actually told us what they did that prompted the a&e trip/sectioning and when I was hanging out with them on Tuesday they literally talked at length about how their family keep treating them as though they're suicidal and blowing their whole life up and how they've never been happier with their mental health and plan for the future. Like they literally said "I feel like my family look at me and all they can see is me falling, but I know that I'm actually flying". They seemed pretty upset bc of an argument they had gotten into with their mum about exactly that, but they certainly didn't seem unstable or like they were in crisis, so now I'm really worried that their family are having them sectioned against their will and I have no clue what if anything I can do? They don't have their phone atm either so I can't even ask them directly

[unrequitedloveletter]

venting about problems I'm worrying about two months before they'll become problems and they're pretty insignificant anyway

having to navigate a friend group where one of my closest friends is the ex of another of my closest friends is a logistical nightmare.

I turn nineteen in january. I wanted to just do a thing with friends (bowling or dinner or a rage room or smth) and then something with family (dinner and maybe a trip to a bar with my sisters because nineteen is the legal drinking age where I am and I do want to get a liiiiiiitttle tipsy at least)

but like. I might have to just do three things because Person A ghosted Person B after like, a month and a half-two months?? of leading them on, and also Person B made Person A angry for the entire year leading up to their break up but Person A didn't say shit and so Person A is like "our relationship ended on a bad note" and Person B is just like "Person A has been ghosting me since august and took me off of the accounts we shared without warning but I'm fine, I've made peace with it even though being ghosted freaking sucks" so it's--it's all very complicated.

How do I know I'll need to plan three things if I want Person A involved in my birthday celebration?? I watched the fnaf movie with Person B and my friend Person C on the day before halloween and before we went I invited Person A and they were like "will my ex be there?" and when I was like "yeah" they were like "ugh no. why would I want to see my ex??" and mentally I was like "it is a fucking movie. can you not sit for two hours, NOT EVEN NEXT TO PERSON B and just fucking be cordial??" but I never said that bc I am nice externally and when they get angry, Person A becomes almost as terrifying as my dad does.

SO, if I want to celebrate with all of my friends, I will AT MINIMUM have to do a thing with Persons B and C, another thing with my friends L, H, C again and Person A, and then go to dinner with my parents and sisters where I will absolutely be getting drunk because I will legally be able to and all of the fucking stress and MONEY going into it?? not even slightly worth it oh my fucking word.

and it just--it kind of makes me mad because I shouldn't have to celebrate my birthday with three groups of people three or four different times. I don't have the energy to do that even slightly, and it pisses me off because how are you incapable of being calm and cordial and collected for an hour in a rage or escape room?? How are you incapable, ABSOLUTELY INCAPABLE of being cordial for the length of one dinner at Boston Pizza where I will be drinking a literal FISHBOWL of alcohol and getting so drunk that it'll be impossible not to laugh at me??? how. how can you not. just this fucking once.

and I know it probably makes me sound really selfish--I promise this isn't how I actually am, the idea of celebrating my birthday more than twice is just a LITTTTTLE nauseating and kind of makes me want to spiral into social burn out because I can handle doing multiple different things with family but with friends I just--my social battery is gone after six hours and I've been really excited about this birthday since I hit eighteen because both of my sisters are able to drink already and I have been missing out on the times they're hanging out with people for almost a full two years now because alcohol is involved and I'm sick of missing out. I promise I do my best not to be self centered or vain but I feel like it's justified in this case.

With my family my social battery is basically LIMITLESS because they respect when I go quiet and aside from my mom asking me what's wrong a couple of times, they'll understand that I don't really wanna talk but am more content to listen for like, ten or fifteen minutes until one of them does something that makes me laugh and I'm back in the groove of things, but it just. I have the energy to do something during the day on my birthday and a dinner. anything more than that and especially anything that doesn't happen within the week after my birthday?? I'm at the point where I have spent five months at home almost unrelentingly and my capacity for weekly social events is not at all like it used to be even SLIGHTLY, as much as I hate that.

and I just don't--it just fuckin' irks me to no end because I get not being able to be around your ex--I have an ex who I can't stand to be around anymore because of how we ended things so I absolutely get it--but like. The only reason that they ended on a bad foot was poor communication and Person A's unwillingness to clear stuff up even despite Person Bs numerous attempts at reaching out before they just gave up on Peson A. Clear stuff up and at least be acquaintances or at least TRY TO BE ACQUAINTANCES.

again, I probably sound selfish but it is one in the morning, I am sleep deprived and this entire vent was stream of consciousness style venting so. please let it be known that the version of me that's angry because I have to have two celebrations for one occasion is not the me that exists all the time.

#cal talks #cal vents about silly little issues

[moon-meerkat]

so uh tonight's crying is mostly bc i was talking to my bff, whom i love to death, about different bus routes and how now he'll be taking 2 buses for a certain class (he was previously in a distance-learning semester) and i "joked" it would hopefully make him less boring and finally willing to go somewhere with me other than our own neighbourhoods - because every time i want us to go anywhere that takes more than 1 bus ride, he's unwilling to do that for me. and he was like MAYBE someday to one park i said smth like, he'd never even gone there with me on beautiful days that would be perfect for it. but NO WAY would he go to the place i wanted to for my birthday, a type of wildlife sanctuary 1 hour away, that i've recently-ish admitted i've been wanting to visit again for a decade, and tried to make it happen on my birthday, esp bc like that's not some huge unbearable road trip and if you're with friends it won't feel like that for even a minute. and i said *x friend of ours* (who had asked me out on a date, which i'd agreed to) (ended up not happening but that was later) offered to go. you're being worse than *that friend ours* rn. i said this mostly joking and in that tone bc when i'd told my bff smth ab that friend, he was completely like, disillusioned and lost basically all respect for him. and like thats almost fine up to that point. but then he said "well yeah he wanted to get with you. if i wanted to makeout with someone i would do that too. well no, i'd go from my house. if i lived where he lives i also wouldn't do it to hook up." and i'm just actually so devastated that he would go to more lengths for a makeout session than for me, his best friend of 10 years. like i would do it for you in a heartbeat you wouldn't even have to ask. why do you act like that's some huge fucking sacrifice, and why would you make it for a hookup and not for me? i love you so much, like more than anyone maybe. at least on par with my parents and sister. i would do like, anything for you. and i thought we were on the same page about hating allonormativity and how our society is always prioritizing sex and romance, and how friendship is equally important, but you keep showing you don't actually apply it in your own life. i would marry you if i could just to stop you from leaving me. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF EVERYONE BEING LIKE THIS. I'M SO SICK OF IT AND I'M SO LONELY AND I'M SO SCARED. how the fuck can my therapist keep acting like i'm exaggerating when, for this exact reason, i'm TERRIFIED of ageing, because if i don't have a spouse i will NEVER be someone's real priority, no one will wanna make plans every week, no one will keep me in mind when deciding on whether to move away, no one will be as dedicated as i can be/am/want to be. and this society now has such a clear, fixed hierarchy and even those who claim to be against it participate, and this lack of dedication to each other, and this lack of community, these are a symptom and a cause, in self-perpetuating cycle that MAKES THIS SOCIETY ILL. WE CAN'T FUCKING LIVE LIKE THIS WHY DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE IT???? THIS IS KILLING US, MAKING US HAVE A HOLE INSIDE, NEGLECTING OUR CHILDREN AND OVERWORKING PARENTS, MAKING US LESS SAFE, MAKING IT ALL WRONG!!! AND I'M SO SICK OF IT

#allonormativity #breaking down

[a-dope-fiend]

I'm very interested to hear about your take on korekiyo and miyadera's relationship 👀👀👀

It's debatable whether his sister really existed in the first place or if it was a character that tsumugi constructed for him, however, i tend to go along with the theory that korekiyo was groomed into believing that what he and his sister had was normal.

Keep in mind, this is simply me fleshing out his character abit and adding my own ideas of what could have possibly happened.

I think korekiyo, for as wordly as he is portrayed in-game, was a very naive and guillible boy growing up. Combine that with the fact that he went to great lengths to please his sister and was terrified of letting her down or being the cause of her sadness, so he was incapable of ever saying no to her. She knew this, and would often use her illness to guilt trip him into doing things for her.

He idolized her and believed she would never hurt him, so he tries to rationalize to himself that what she did to him was 100% reciprocated and not an adult preying on their sibling who was more than likely a minor at the time (their ages are never stated in canon but we can assume they are somewhere between 17-18)

I also have a headcanon that she was actually the one who took an interest in anthropology but seeing as she was unable to pursue it due to her illness, korekiyo took up to studying it instead of her and would often tell her stories of his travels while visiting her in the hospital. Alot of the myths and stories they read together also often had themes of "forbidden love". This was on purpose, as it became even more engraved in his young and impressionable mind that people simply didn't "understand" their love.

After she died, his way of coping with her death was to imitate the way she talked, the way she presented herself and her interests. It is canon that she was the one who picked out his outfit for him. I think this was another way for her to live out her dreams through him and mold him to be whatever she wanted him to be.

[seliverydervice]

n's july delights!

in an attempt to forge a time capsule of the things i enjoy, here is my first try: a recap of my july! includes: a personal recap, books, and films/shows. i wanted to include comics, as well as music and poetry, but the length already more closely resembles an amateur's attempt at an editorial piece than a wrap-up written by someone who actually knows what they're doing—so maybe next time.

PERSONAL RECAP

i wanted to savour the saturday night of summer (as august is its sunday night; and yes, i am stating this now, and i am still planning on repeating it for august’s wrap-up!) the best i could. i can’t say for sure whether i was successful, but the month kicked off with a trip to bali, and shortly after my return, i took another trip to bogor! lovely were the people in bali, and lovely were the sights to see in bogor. we took a historical tour bus in bogor, something i had never done before, and our tour guide was an old man who spoke with so much certainty that my mom and i were certain he’d been there himself; he talked about the pool parties in the 18th century like he was present to see the dutch cannonball into (what is now known as) the oldest swimming pool in bogor. my mom thought he was just old, but i was positive he was a vampire.

he must’ve heard our conversation, because out of nowhere, he clarified he was fifty-five. mom was mortified. we bumped into him again at a mini-market after the tour. i was stocking up on snacks and masks; he only brought with him a bottle of water, and he stood directly in front of me at the line for the cashier. he recognized my family and my stepdad paid for his drink. (until now, my family and i all think the hotel—who had hosted the tour—should have bought him a bottle of water too, given as they’d included a snack (a hot dog that wasn’t a hot dog) and water for the people taking the tour. so why not the tour guide, too?)

BOOKS

this was such a delightful month! i had a reading slump that began in march (or was it february? i should have kept a diary), and i’m happy to say i’ve gotten back into the swing of things! i eased myself back into reading by starting off with a middle grade book (it was r.l. stine—i started the month with a taste for horror), and i’ve adopted a new reading principle: to read whatever i want to. it’s an obvious tip, one i really should have employed years ago, but i’ve always had an issue re: picking up books that actually interest me vs. reading what other people like even when they aren’t my cup of tea. i wasn’t afraid (okay, maybe i was a little scared) to try reading books i couldn’t get through before too—some books deserve second chances—and i managed to this time. more than that, i loved them! there are books you can’t get through because they really aren’t for you, and then there are books you stumbled upon when it wasn’t the right time. and re-discovering them again, when the time is right and the stars have aligned, is nothing short of wonderful.

if you check out any of the books, please heed their trigger warnings!

THE MAJESTIES by TIFFANY TSAO

why-dunnit. a girl in a coma, with nothing else better to occupy her time, retraces her memories to understand why her sister murdered their entire family. set in jakarta, and i know i’m biased, but i am fond of books that aren’t set in north america or western europe. this left me reeling.

REBECCA by DAPHNE DU MAURIER

if i knew how to write like du maurier, i would never stop writing. everything about this book is iconic. the prose? top notch. she was so good at painting a vivid image of everything that was happening while staying on theme; there was a sense of eeriness to the writing, even in the story’s lighter moments. this is about a girl (we never find out her name) who has recently become the new mistress of manderley. unfortunately for her, unpleasant things await, most of them borne from the ghost of her husband’s dead wife’s memory. a ghost story, even in the absence of a literal ghost.

HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE by DIANA WYNNE JONES

this was my first diana wynne jones book! i am one of the many whose first exposure to howl’s moving castle was the ghibli movie. i still love the movie, don’t get me wrong, but if there was a way i could time travel to my childhood and give little me a copy of the book, i would. it’s not a slight against the movie at all; i just wonder how i would have grown up had diana wynne jones been one of my childhood companions. this book is a perfect example that you don’t need a complicated magic system for a book to be magical. in fact, i think it’s one of the most magical things i’ve ever read. sophie gets cursed and turns into an old lady, and seeks refuge as well as answers at the wizard howl’s moving castle. there, she befriends the fire demon calcifer, howl’s apprentice michael, and even howl himself.

WE HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN THE CASTLE by SHIRLEY JACKSON

as you can probably tell, i had a bit of a gothic kick. this story is as haunting as it is eccentric. our narrator, mary catherine blackwood (merricat), lives in a big house with what is left of her family: her cat, her sister, and her uncle. the rest are dead. the townspeople hate them, and she hates them right back. things start to change when their cousin, charles, moves in with them. i feel like this is one of the books where the less you know about it, the better, but if you want to know what the book is about; i think, most of all, it is about isolation. (also: constance and merricat are one of my favourite sisters in literature.)

EMMA by JANE AUSTEN

remember what i said about picking up books that previously came at the wrong time? this is one of them. i can’t remember exactly when i first tried reading emma, but what matters is i did eventually try reading it again, and this time, i loved it! emma woodhouse is... she’s everything to me. she is an icon. a legend. she is the moment, one of the first ever it girls #ToMe. it is likely a familiar story (hello, clueless?), but seeing emma constantly be off the mark about matchmaking, the exact thing she claims is her talent (and to be fair, it’s not like she has a god-awful track record), is hilarious. i just know jane austen was giggling and kicking her feet writing some of this. what appealed the most to me was not the romance, but emma herself. you just can’t help but root for her!

REPUTATION by LEX CROUCHER

this is mean girls meets gossip girl but regency. honestly, this was probably the funniest book i read this month, but it’s not just fun and games—it has its moments when it gets dark, so please, look up the trigger warnings if you decide to read it. our protagonist, georgiana, has been sent to stay with her aunt and uncle over the season by her absent parents. she finds it dull, but is saved from her boredom by frances campbell, wealthy socialite and trouble magnet. frances adopts georgiana into her group of friends, introducing her to a world of opulence, splendour, and debauchery.

STEERING THE CRAFT by URSULA K. LE GUIN

i confess: though i claim to be a writer, i barely read writing books. but, if you want to read a book on writing at least once in your life, i could not recommend ‘steering the craft’ enough. le guin was a master of her craft, and this book is pretty much my new holy scripture. she gives advice without sounding patronizing, and this book just makes writing feel so... accessible? she shares her opinions on some of the more popular writing tips and it’s just... wow (active vs. passive voice comes to mind). i don’t think i can summarize it and do it justice. the book has writing exercises, too!

FILMS/SHOWS

EMMA (2020) dir. AUTUMN DE WILDE

i’m pretty sure this was the only movie i watched in july that i actually liked, and it wasn’t even a first watch! there is just something very comforting about emma (2020). watching it in july counted more as a re-watch, but it was my first time watching it after reading the source material, so it was an entirely different experience, too. this movie is warm and hopeful, and it feels like a hug and a steaming cup of tea on a rainy day. also it has anya taylor-joy, and can you really go wrong with anya taylor-joy? if anything, watch it to see the scene where she gets a nosebleed on cue.

SUCCESSION by JESSE ARMSTRONG

i could write an essay on succession, but i doubt i would have anything new to contribute. if you've never seen the show yourself, you're probably going to think there's something wrong with me, but listen. listen. i know this show is about rich people and stocks and business with snippets of dialogue that sounds like it came from a stan twt sentence generator, but it is also: a shakesperean tragedy, and the depth of it only continues to unravel as we progress further and further into the show. the acting is amazing. the directing, too, and the writing is one of the best i've ever seen on television. it's game of thrones if game of thrones was set in a modern day, corporate structure. these characters are not good people. they're rich assholes who have no idea how the real world works. but they're human, and they're three-dimensional; they're interesting, they're tragic, and they're so compelling you can't help but to keep watching, whether you want to see them fail or succeed.

#monthly wrap up #book recs #i feel hesitant about tagging this as film or show rec as i only have one of each lol #so maybe not! #book recommendations