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violentdelightsandviolentends · 11 months

Text

Web of Lies.

Spencer Reid has always been good at keeping secrets. You just never thought he'd keep any from you.

Pairing - Spiderman!Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Word Count - 3750

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - cursing. mentions of violence and blood. potentially smut in the next chapters.

Author's Note - i am so excited to share this with all of you!! i saw a tiktok comparing marvel characters to criminal minds characters, and couldn't get the idea of spencer as spiderman out of my head. this will absolutely have more than one part, but i'm not sure how many just yet. please let me know what you think!! as always, reblogs, comments and feedback are always immensely appreciated <3

Masterlist. Requests.

Series Masterlist.

You probably should have noticed something was wrong way before you did.

That's the thing about elusive people - and Spencer Reid is one mysterious man.

In many ways, he wears his heart on his sleeve. He doesn't filter his words like most people do - he'll tell you exactly what he thinks, exactly what he feels. He doesn't sugar coat, he doesn't exaggerate. You can always count on Spencer to tell it to you straight.

But he's not exactly an open book. You know he had a difficult childhood - you've pieced some of it together based on anecdotes and passing comments. You know he's the youngest person to ever work for the FBI, never mind the esteemed Behavioural Analysis Unit. You know he's gentle, kind, loving, supportive, and the best friend and colleague you could ever ask for.

It's just that some days, it feels like there's still so much you don't know. Which is why you never really saw this coming.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ ��　 * · ✵

It's Monday.

Spencer Reid has a black eye.

It's not unusual for you to show up to work on Monday with Fridays injuries. Bruises, scrapes, broken bones. They all come along as a part of the job. But the last case you worked didn't involve any physical altercations. No, in fact, it was a surprisingly easy arrest. So why is Spencer black and blue?

He sits down at his desk and turns on his computer, unaware of the way you're watching him like a hawk. Reading him like a book. You're replaying the events of the last case, trying to piece together exactly when Spencer had gotten hurt without you knowing.

"Hey, Spence?" you call, making your way over to where he's sat cross legged in his chair.

His eyes flick up and meet yours, and something in you churns. An alarm bell goes off somewhere in your distant mind, but you silence it, perching on the edge of his desk.

"Are you okay?"

He smiles at you gently, enamoured with the care you reserve just for him.

"I'm good. How are you? How was your weekend? Did you go to the new farmers market in the end? Did you start that book I got you?"

It's not unusual for him to ask you twenty questions at once, so you try to answer them as best as you can, eyes still glued to his shiny bruise.

"Yeah, I'm good. It was good, despite all that rain we had. Luke took me to the farmers market, and we tried these new grapes. Did you know they made grapes that taste like cotton candy? I saved you some, they're in my bag. I'm on chapter three of the book, so nothing has really happened yet. Where'd you get the bruise, Genius?"

You're hoping that your rambling will catch him off guard, and he'll answer without thinking. He looks at you carefully, considering his reply. No such luck.

"Fell in my kitchen. Tripped over my own damn shoes, smacked my face straight into the counter," he chuckles.

It does sound like Spencer. He's clumsy on the best of days, always dropping something or stumbling next to you. It's not far fetched that his own feet have caused him an injury.

You drop the issue, and laugh along with the team when they tease him about his physical ineptitude.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

It's Tuesday.

Spencer Reid is a bad liar.

You're both settled into the cushions of your couch, eyes glued to the television screen. You're watching reruns of a 90s sitcom, the laugh track echoing around the apartment.

"That paramedic was totally checking you out today," you tease gently, poking him with your foot.

A blush instantly rises to his cheeks, the rosy tint a familar picture.

"No she wasn't," he counters, tripping over his words. "She was just doing her job."

"If by doing her job you mean undressing you with her eyes, then yes, she was doing her job."

You're both laughing - you at Spencer's bashful expression, him at your obliviousness.

"Are you jealous?"

He means to tease you, but it comes out more serious than intended. Your smile drops into a surprised smirk, eyebrows raising in shock.

You sit in silence for a minute, before you confess quietly.

"Maybe a little."

Spencer tries to process your words, but his brain doesn't want to work, apparently.

"Wait... you are?"

"I guess," you mutter lowly. "I just... forget I said anything. She was really pretty. Maybe I was just a little intimated."

You jokingly nudge him with your shoulder, and go back to watching the TV. Spencer's brain finally reboots and starts running a mile a minute, thoughts flying around like comets shooting through the night sky.

You sit together for hours, slipping into sleep gently. It isn't unusual for the two of you to doze off on the couch. Sleepovers happen regularly, both of you completely comfortable with the other person.

It's 3am when Spencer shoots up, pulling on his converse frantically.

"What's wrong?" you panic, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes.

"Nothing. I just, uh, I have to go."

He grabs his bag and beelines for the front door without so much as stopping to explain himself.

"Spencer!" you call after him, willing him to slow down for minute. "Has something happened?"

"No, it's fine. I'll, uh, explain some other time. Just... just get some sleep. I've really gotta run."

And with that, he's out the door, leaving you bleary eyed and confused in the middle of your living room.

You fall asleep on the couch, head resting on the sweater that Spencer left behind in his rush to leave.

You're half convinced you've dreamt the events of the evening.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

It's Wednesday.

Spencer Reid isn't at work.

Spencer Reid is always at work.

Emily regularly has to remind him to take time off. Luke teases that he'll steal his vacation hours if Spence doesn't use them. He's always sat at his desk, waiting for everyone else to arrive every morning.

Which is why his absence is making you worried.

The occurrences of last night are still replaying in your head like a stuck video tape, repeating over and over again. You're over analysing every word he said, every move he made. Leaving in a hurry without reason is so unlike Spencer. You consider supernatural forces, or possession, or Freaky Friday style body swapping. There's no logical explanation for his behaviour, you're convinced. Monday's black eye floats back into your mind, and your heart rate rises ever so slightly.

You march up the stairs and knock on Emily's office window with a bit more force than originally intended.

"Come in."

You swing the door open and slam it shut behind you, anxiety coursing through your veins.

"Hey, hey. Are you alright?" she asks, watching the way your eyes are flicking around the room, looking for clues.

"Where's Spencer?"

"What?"

"Emily. Where's Spencer?"

She gets up from her chair to stand in front of you, placing her hands on your shoulders.

"He's sick, some sort of flu, he thinks. I've told him to go back to bed, and to call if he needs anything."

Her words don't reassure you like she thought they would.

"Did he sound sick?"

"Huh?"

"Did he sound sick, when he called?"

"I don't know, really. I guess so."

"You're a profiler, Emily. You should be able to tell if he's sick or not," you snap.

"Woah," she counters. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

You sit down in the nearest chair, and run your hands over your face.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she reassures, kneeling in front of you. "Tell me what's going on, and I can try to help."

"It's nothing, I'm sure," you rationalise. "I'm just worried about him. Something's off, but I have no idea what it is."

You take a deep breath, Emily rubbing soothing circles into your knee.

"You know, if he were to talk to anyone about what was wrong, it'd be you."

"You think?"

"I don't think, I know."

It's no secret that you and Spencer are close. You've been best friends from the minute you joined the team, forming a connection instantly. As the years have gone by, the feelings have gotten stronger, but the both of you are too scared to admit it to yourselves or each other. You'd do anything for him, and he would do anything for you.

"Maybe you're right. I'll go over there after work and talk to him, see if I can get him to open up."

Emily leans down and gives you a hug, squeezing you a little tighter than usual.

"I'm always here for you. Both of you."

"I know," you smile gratefully. "I appreciate it, boss."

Just as you're leaving her office, Penelope calls you all into the briefing room, giving you no time to think about what could potentially be going on.

You look at the victims faces on the screen, and every single one seems to look like Spencer Reid.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

It's Thursday.

Spencer Reid is having a panic attack.

He's back at work, making a seemingly miraculous recovery from his short lived illness. You went to his apartment last night after work as promised, but your knocking went unanswered. You don't know where he was, but you're worried.

You've been watching him across the bullpen all morning. You're surveying him carefully when his breathing becomes rapid, eyes flickering around the room. He stands up abruptly, practically running from his desk. You follow him instinctively, all the way into the men's bathroom. He's leaning over the sink, hands gripping the porcelain, knuckles turning white. His eyes are locked on himself in the mirror. He looks as if he doesn't recognise who he sees.

"Spence?" you urge gently, careful to keep your voice low. "Are you alright?"

His gaze meets yours over his shoulder, and he tenses even more. A wave of anxiety rolls through you. Usually, Spencer sees you and relaxes - you're like a breath of fresh air. Suddenly, you're not sure where you stand with him.

"Spence, please. Talk to me. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine," he snaps.

He's never taken that tone with you before. It doesn't make you as sad as it probably should. No, it makes you angry.

"Don't you dare speak to me that way," you hiss, pointing your finger at him. "I am trying to help you. Don't push me away."

"What's it gonna take for you to leave me alone?" he asks viciously.

Your mouth drops open in disbelief, shock painting your features.

"You know what? Fine. Message received."

You turn on your heel and stride towards the door, stopping when you've swung it open. You look at him over your shoulder, and shake your head, a humourless laugh escaping you.

"Fuck you, Spencer Reid."

You slam the door behind you, leaving him alone, chest heaving and hands shaking.

✵

You're marching back to your desk when JJ calls the team together. You take a deep breath and try to release the anger from your body, but it proves difficult. It's tangled itself around your bones, running through your blood like a flash flood. You paint a smile on your face, and take your seat in the briefing room.

Spencer joins a couple of minutes later, choosing to sit across the table, rather than in his usual chair next to you. Luke takes the place instead, and reaches over to rest a hand on your thigh.

"You okay?" he murmurs lowly, careful to not make a scene.

"Yeah," you whisper back, fingers tangling with his where they rest on your leg. "I'm okay."

JJ pulls up the case details on the screen, and Luke doesn't let go of your hand.

"Where are we jetting off to today?" Matt asks, all eyes on the blonde at the front of the room.

"Nowhere, actually. Local, this time."

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief, glad to stay close to home.

"Okay, the nearest PD have just sent this case through, and it's... weird."

"Weird how?" Tara enquires. It's not often that JJ comments on a case before she's shared all of the details.

"It's a man hunt, of sorts. They're calling him a vigilante."

"Ooo, like a supervillain?" Luke chuckles.

When JJ doesn't laugh, he doubles down.

"Wait, we're not actually catching a supervillain, are we?"

Everyone turns to JJ, who looks just as confused as the rest of you feel.

"Well... kinda?"

You allow your eyes to flick to Spencer, who's still breathing heavily, hand gripping the edge of the table. JJ clicks the remote in her hand, and a picture of a man in a red suit appears on the screen.

"This is the guy they're calling Spiderman. He's been spotted at multiple crime scenes over the last few weeks. He's making a hell of a lot of people very suspicious."

"Spiderman? Why is his costume red?" Tara asks, a hint of laughter in her voice.

"Aren't there red spiders?" Rossi counters.

"Reid, are there red spiders?"

All heads turn to look at Spencer, who's gone completely pale. He tunes into the conversation, clearly not listening.

"Hmm?"

"I said, are there red spiders?"

"Yeah," he replies shortly. Everyone waits for him to spit his facts, to explain the different species, but he doesn't. His head drops slightly, a signal that he's done talking.

Everyone watches him in puzzlement, confused by his sudden silence.

"Anyway," JJ starts, "he's been linked to a number of local crimes. It started off as battery, assault, GBH - but last night there was a murder downtown, and he was spotted at the scene. He's prime suspect."

"Apart from, we don't know who he is," Matt adds.

"Exactly. That's why the police department have called us in. They can't handle it on their own."

Penelope starts to pass around case files, everyone flicking through at their own pace. Spencer doesn't even open his, just stares at it where it sits on the table.

"Reid, are you alright?" Emily asks, concerned.

"I'm fine. I just need some air," he replies quickly, taking his papers and striding out of the room.

You watch him go, squeezing Lukes hand a little harder.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

It's Friday.

Spencer Reid is in trouble.

He's in too deep.

He can't remember the last time he took a deep breath.

His shoulders are so tense, it's a struggle to pull his sweater on.

His hands shake as he reads the case file from yesterday again.

Spiderman. Male. Mid twenties to early thirties. Slim build. Tall. Local - knows the area. Must have a connection to the police - perhaps his own radio.

Spencer accidentally knocks his knee into the desk, and winces. The wound he haphazardly stitched throbs beneath his corduroy trousers, and he prays he's not about to bleed through the material. People are asking enough questions as it is.

"Reid, Alvez, grab your jackets. You're going to the crime scene," Emily calls from up the stairs.

You watch as Spencer rises from his chair, making note of the way he's carefully putting more weight on his right leg. He rolls his shoulders once, twice, three times, before picking up his bag and heading out the door. Luke shoots you a wink as he follows him out, making you smile gently.

You decide to take a trip to see Garcia. She always knows how to take your mind off things.

You cruise into her office, instantly sitting in her spare chair, twirling in circles.

"God, you and Genius are like the same person," she giggles. "He does the exact same thing when he comes in here."

You smile instinctively, and then remember the way he spoke to you yesterday. The way he's treated you this week. The way he's acted as if you didn't exist all day. Your smile fades, and she notices.

"Is everything okay with you two?"

You sigh, and take a deep breath to try and prevent yourself from crying.

"I don't know."

"Oh, honey."

Penelope rolls over to you in her chair, wrapping her arms around you tightly.

"He won't tell me what's wrong, and pushes me away when I try to ask. We had a fight yesterday, and now he won't even look at me. I don't know what I've done to make him hate me all of a sudden," you sob, tears running down your cheeks.

"He doesn't hate you," she murmurs soothingly into your hair. "He loves you more than anyone in the entire world."

"I'm not so sure that's true," you whisper.

"It is. I promise you. He's never been good at talking about his feelings. I'm sure whatever it is, he'll tell you soon enough. You'll work this out - you always do."

You let her hold you for a little longer, sinking into her embrace. Maybe she's right. Maybe it'll all be alright.

✵

After work, you try to relax.

You cook dinner, run yourself a bubble bath. You watch a cheesy movie, eat the good chocolate you've been saving. You snuggle into the couch, pulling a blanket over your legs. But you can't settle.

Usually, a Friday night would mean a sleepover. You and Spencer order takeout, tangle your legs together and fall asleep, chattering about nothing and everything. But tonight, you're alone. You can't stand it anymore.

Throwing on the sweater that Spencer left on Tuesday, you slip on your shoes and get in your car. You drive on autopilot, mind zoned out completely. Before you know it, you're parking on the street below Spencer's apartment building.

You're met with silence when you knock on the door. You try again, and still, nothing.

A choked sob escapes you, and you rest your forehead against the wood. The tears flow freely, forming a puddle on the welcome mat.

The welcome mat.

You pull it back roughly, and find the spare key that he irresponsibly leaves there. Letting yourself into his apartment, you inhale deeply. It smells so distinctly like Spencer. The familar scent used to bring you comfort. Now, it just makes you cry harder.

You collapse on his kitchen floor, letting your head fall back against the cabinet. After an hour or so, you allow your eyes to drift closed, knees hugged tightly to your chest.

✵

You're abruptly awoken by a door slamming shut.

You jump to your feet, and let out a startled sound. Running into the living room, you expect to see Spencer, but he's nowhere to be found. You tune in to the sound of running water, and assume he's in the shower. You perch on the edge of the couch and wait.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer asks as he makes his way into the room.

He doesn't sound scared, or confused, or shocked. It almost feels like he knew you were here.

"I couldn't sleep," you reply cautiously. "Where have you been? It's 4am."

"I couldn't sleep either."

"Yeah? Then why are you bleeding?"

He turns towards the mirror on the wall, and lays eyes on a gash across his cheekbone. He definitely didn't see that before.

"Slipped in the shower."

You jump to your feet, rage fuelling your movements.

"Stop fucking lying!"

Now he looks shocked. He's taken aback, stepping away from you slowly.

"I... I'm not," he says meekly. He doesn't even believe his own lie.

"You're doing it again! What did I do, Spencer? What did I do to lose all of your trust?!"

He tries to calm you down, but it just makes you angrier.

"Tell me!" you scream at him. "I'm going insane, Spencer! I'm going fucking insane!"

"It's not your fault," he tries to explain. "You haven't done anything wrong, I promise."

"Then why don't you love me anymore?" you sob. Your knees give way, and you fall to the ground, cries wracking your exhausted frame.

Spencer's heart breaks so hard, he's convicted he can hear it shatter.

He strides over, wrapping his arms around you as tightly as he can. The contact makes you cry more, tears soaking into his t shirt.

"I could never stop loving you," he whispers. "Nothing in the world could ever make me stop loving you."

You pull back to look at him, astounded by his confession.

"I'm trying to protect you," he continues quietly. "I'm doing this because I love you."

You thread your hands through his hair and pull him towards you, pressing your lips to his urgently. He cradles your face and kisses you back, ignoring the way your tears drip down his face. You tug him closer, desperate for this moment to never end.

He's finally here. Back in your arms, where he belongs.

Eventually, you pull away, gasping for air. He looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and his eyes well up with emotion.

"Hey," you soothe, stroking his cheek with your thumb gently. "It's okay. You're okay. We're okay."

"I feel like I'm drowning," he whispers.

"Whatever it is, Spence, we'll figure it out. We always do."

"What if we can't this time?"

"Then we come up with a plan B. And a plan C. And a plan D. We've got at least 26 plans before we run out of letters."

He chuckles, but there's no laughter in it. You tilt his chin towards you, so your eyes are locked.

"I'm not going anywhere," you murmur. "No matter what it is, I'm not going anywhere."

He takes a deep breath, and releases it shakily.

"Promise?"

You smile gently, and take a deep breath to mirror his.

"I promise."

He nods slowly, and moves to sit in front of you cross legged. You match his movements and do the same, facing him assuredly.

"I have to tell you something. And you can't tell anyone, ever," he begins. "It's going to change the way you look at me. It's going to change the way you love me. It's going to change everything."

"You can tell me, Spence," you reassure. "You can trust me."

Spencer takes a deep breath - and then a second, and a third. His eyes bore into yours, and he inhales again, before uttering the words that will undoubtedly change both of your lives completely.

"I'm Spiderman."

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ram-on · 1 year

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whenyourbirdisbroken asked:

Hi ram-on! Thanks for your tags on that fic rec for Carry That Weight, I've never read that fic but your tags made it sound very interesting! What are other McLennon fics you like, if you don't mind sharing?

Hello there, @whenyourbirdisbroken! Thank you for my very first Beatles related ask and sorry for the late reply!! I discovered fanfiction through the Beatles fandom, I had never read fanfic before! But I'm still too bad at bookmarking things, so I'll certainly forget some I loved. Still, here's a list of those I can remember now:

Carry That Weight and its sequence Hello Goodbye by @waveofahand It's a massive work by a massive talent and it has a very special place in my heart. @idontwanttospoiltheparty described it very well in their recent post about it, and I added a bit of my commentary in the tags. Don't worry about the length, you don't have to read the two parts to enjoy it, but also if you start from the beginning and it's your cup of tea you may soon discover you never want it to end!

Mums, Yur Boys are Crying by waveofahand. If you love hurt/comfort, this fic includes both John and Paul suffering - John's mom dying and Paul helping him go trhough the funeral, etc, and then Paul himself getting into another situation, and John worrying about him too. The boys are young but there's kindness, maturity and wisdom in it and the typical picturesque, novel-like features of waveofhand's prose. A special bonus are the very charming scenes between Mimi and Paul which may colour your perception of the interactions between those two forever (I always expect them to act like that in other fics). It's also a delightfully finished fic, it has a beautiful ending and conclusion.

Everything by merseydreams . As you may notice, I'm mostly a fan of drama and angst, but @merseydreams are my favorite exception. They're a comedy genius, their fics are romantic, charming, witty, very vivid and enjoyable both on story-buld level and micro-sentence level. I've often told them they should write scripts for sitcoms and romantic comedies/dramedies and other good things. Also good thoughtful characterization, relationship study-ing and dialogue too (so there's seriousness in them too! They're ultimately happy but not fluffy.). I love all their fics but I guess The Birthday Party is the best by being the longest, if you somehow missed it go read it ASAP!

i was a younger man then (now) (post hoc) by fingersfallingupwards. This fic is so touching, that I don't know how to describe it. It's a very poetic, imaginative and unique story about John&Paul-forever and time travel. About the connection of their souls in a fantastical but poignant sense that somehow fits them so much. Might make you cry but it's worth it. Also, completely finished fic as well, with a thrilling emotional twist towards the end. Might be the most complete fic I've read. The fic also provide very good context for the flaming pie anecdote :-)

On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain. This one is also about time travel, but in a different way, basically about old Paul getting back to being young again and how he'd do things differently. I think it's quite popular so you probably all know it. (Funny thing is I never thought I'd care about time travel, but ultimately it's just a writing vessel and aren't we always time travelling when we fantasise about the Beatles?)

Close The Door Lightly When You Go by RosalindBeatrice. Set in 1979 when Paul comes to visit John in the Dacota, who acts like he doesn't want him there. It's awesome, one of those fics, in which they have real tension and problems which makes it all more real. It's mostly inner-thoughs and dialogue-driven but very intense nontheless, great characterisation, great attention to detail, just fantastic for lovers of post break up relationship studies and excellent writing.

The Wild Horses trilogy, from which I especially love the last part, Son of a Shining Path. It's about young Paul and John and Paul being abused by his father, and the first part might be a bit too dark for some. But I love the writing, and especially in the third part (which has no abuse but other suffering) I just love how well being worried about someone you love and being unable to show it is written in the end there. It's subtle, very realistic in its details, I love it.

I'm Looking Through You by @idontwanttospoiltheparty That's the only fic in this list which is still a work in progress, still updated. If you follow the author on Tumblr you know how smart they are, and their fic is just as thoughtful and attentive to the Beatles history, the music and the psychology of it all. The story gets more exciting and rich whith each chapter, I fell in love with the last three. It also pays attention to all four of the Beatles and their human sides and motivations in a way that rarely happens. Last chapter included the best incorporation of the Manila adventures I've read in fic. Just many emotionally packed and thrilling scenes all around (also that thing I just wrote about being worried about someone and being frozen about how to help them which I love being written realistically in fics -- is here too.) Go read it if you haven't and let's read the next update soon together!!

Widow by abromeds on LJ. This story is more than a decade old, but it's no wonder it still appears in fic recs. It's about death and grief - not John but Paul dying like John did - so it's truly dark, not like fun angsty, but truly deeply dramatic and real. So you might think why read something sad, but maybe you should, because it's so good. It's also serious writing on meaningful topic and I think the fictional element (Paul dying and not John) somehow helps it being more bearable and at the same time makes you think about the actual reality and we kinda avoid doing it, don't we? And it's just very well written, there are also very plausible-sounding flashbacks of their history and relationship through the years (the one about why John actually climbed the fence in Cavendish is my favorite!), so it's not really all about death. And my absolutely favorite thing in ''Widow'' is the very ending, the last sentence even. It's the most perfect, most poignant ending this story could have had, an ending any good fuckin literature could have. Sometimes I walk on the streets and think about that ending.

-------------------

This fic rec is got too wordy, so I'll end this here, although there are other fics I've enjoyed just as much, but I'll add them some other time!

Always feel free to recommend me some fics too (or to share your thoughts on the already mentioned!)

#fanfic rec #Beatles fic #mclennon #John and Paul

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shanbini · 2 years

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hi light of my life!! <33 how are you doing today? a little anecdote for you: on christmas eve two years ago, i had a screaming match with my father and then i caught my hair on fire because i tried to blow out a candle all before going to church that night… i was just thinking about it today because i swear my life is sometimes out of a sitcom SDFGHJKL ANYWAYSSSSS i love you more than words <33

hello hello love of my life <3333 ah honestly cramps are killing me and i have the worst headache ever, but do you think this will stop me from annoying you wifey?? never 👀 but how are you? are you having a good day mimi? <3 SFDSGHJKL WAITTT TOO MANY FUNNY STUFF IN THE SAME SENTENCEESDFG a screaming contest?? tell me you won please 😭 and omg! your hair caught fire??? this sounds like a nightmare </3 did you hurt yourself? :( or did you just show up to church with the most stylish haircut ever? 😌 mimi i WISH it was a sitcom because that would mean i could watch all the funny stuff that happen to you sdfshjkl AAAHHH I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK AND YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME WIFEY MWAH <333

#okay but seeing soobin smiling is honestly making me feel so much better #like cramps are gone and my skin is clear omg #or maybe it was talking to you wifey <333

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1093

survey by pinkchocolate

Hi there! This list is based on some things I've done recently. Let's say, within the last few days. Have you done any of these things in the last few days?

Worn make-up? I never wear makeup. I’ve never felt the need to.

Worn perfume? Sure. I went out last Sunday to bring Cooper to the vet and to take myself out to a coffee shop for a few hours, so I wanted to make sure I smelled decent.

Taken selfies? I think I may have, but I’m sure I deleted them almost immediately.

Shared some photos on social media? Yes, I posted a couple photos of Cooper because he was being super smiley the other day. I also shared a photo of my laptop, which was playing Friends, beside my Friends mug the other night.

Woken up to the sound of your phone vibrating? Technically. But this usually happens when I’m trying to fall asleep in the evening, i.e. someone sending a late-night message, and not in the morning.

Heard the rain outside your window? Yes. It’s literally happening right now haha it just started raining.

Added sugar to a mug of tea/coffee? No. I use 3-in-1 coffee packets, which are already pre-mixed and all I have to do is add hot water. I’m terrible with measurements and starting from scratch and I doubt I’ll ever get the hang of manually combining coffee + sugar + milk + creamer + whatever else goes into coffee haha.

Refilled your drinks bottle? I don’t use a tumbler. I’m at home nearly every day of the week so I always have access to our glasses.

Felt emotionally involved while reading a book? This has happened before for sure, but not in the last few days.

Chuckled/laughed while reading a book? Uhhh I guess. My employer recently lent me this book on PR that they thought would help me gain a richer appreciation of the industry and I guess I did lightly chuckle at a few humorous anecdotes in it.

Spilled a drink? I don’t think so.

Eaten something that was sprinkled with sugar? Nope. I’ve eaten sweets here and there but nothing sprinkled with sugar.

Googled the definition of a word? At least a few times a day.

Read a Wikipedia article? Yes, I love Wikipedia. The last entry I read was a list on notable last words.

Laughed at a video you watched online? So many times. The main reason I watch videos is to be entertained and to laugh, to be honest; so it’s nice that a lot of creators make great, funny content.

Craved a savoury snack of some description? I’ve been craving gourmet donuts for weeks now. Nothing sweet; I’m looking for those with creative, out-of-the-box flavors.

Cursed after dropping an item on the floor? Probably.

Been amused by your pet's behaviour? I am always amused at their behavior. Kimi’s approaching 13 years but he still makes me laugh every single day.

Recognized an actor in a TV show, from another show you'd seen? I’ve only been watching Friends, soooo nothing to compare it to.

Seen an actor on TV that you thought attractive? Courteney Cox, always.

Typed something in a word processor? I had to look this up lol, but I guess I have if Google Docs counts as one? I use it a lot for work.

Been asked a question that you found awkward or difficult to answer? Sure. My grandma called up when I was stuck in a particularly tough period of my shift and she was asking how it’s been. I didn’t want to worry her or overshare, so I paused for a bit and just said “it’s going great!”

Smelled a pleasant food aroma? Yeah, my dad cooks up some great stuff al the time.

Dipped your food in ketchup, mayonnaise or another sauce? Tartar sauce.

Forgotten a hot beverage, then found it had gone cold? I don’t make hot beverages, so.

survey by kellyburnsred

What music video do you wish you were in? I don’t watch music videos a lot, mostly because they’re usually not at all related to the song it corresponds to and I never saw the point. Buttt idk, the one I had some of the most fun watching was One Direction’s Best Song Ever because it was hilarious. It’d be cool to fuck around with the characters there.

Who makes you laugh the most? I’d say it’s either Andi or Hans. JM and Kate are good runners-up.

You only can eat three things the rest of your life, what do choose? That would make me sick of those foods so fast...but if it were a legit life-and-death situation, I would go with surf and turf (so that I at least have a bit of variety), rice (because I can’t live without rice), and macarons (for something sweet).

What's one thing you wish you had in your life right now? Macarons. I recently liked a slew of local macaron shops on Facebook and even though I know it’s my fault, I hateeee that my feed is filled with macarons now haha.

If you had to give up your style, what other style would you choose? I’m not really sure. I can think of more styles I’m not willing to adopt, than those that can be my back-up.

What's your favorite ice cream topping? Hot fudge.

What is the bare minimum of sleep you could function on? I guess 3 or 4, but that’s the barest of the bare minimum. I would still be cranky if I was only able to sleep for that few hours.

When you drive, do you generally speed? Yeah, if I can. You’re always stuck in traffic in Manila so if you have the chance to press harder on the gas, you typically wouldn’t want to miss out on it.

Are you an animal lover? Yes, except for pests and insects I don’t like, like cockroaches.

What's the dumbest thing you've done because someone dared you? I once ate a piece of siomai that already fell to the ground; when I ate it I felt a lot of tiny pebbles and other debris so I promptly spat it out in a nearby bin.

What is the most disgusting trait that you have? Idk...typical disgusting habits make me wince myself. The worst thing I can think of is that I tend to keep my nails super long just out of neglect; and I usually only clip them once dirt starts getting trapped under the nails, or once it starts to become hard to type.

What was the last thing you talked to your friends about? Angela had made this really cute, DIY foldable collage for Hans for his birthday yesterday and I just checked in on her earlier to ask if he loved it.

What part of your day do you look forward to the most? The moment my shift ends.

What are your favorite song lyrics? This week, it’s probably “It isn’t the same, but it is enough.” It’s oddly calming no matter how sad the actual context is.

Who are your closest friends? Angela and Andi.

What profession do you admire the most? All are worthy of admiration. I don’t really have a ~favorite~

Do you believe in karma? Not strictly in the spiritual sense; but it can be comforting to think that the people who have hurt me will have their ass handed back to them someday.

What do you think is the funniest show on TV? Ooh, I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore...I have a sitcom in mind but it ended 17 years ago and it’s still pretty polarizing to this day, lol.

Are you an organ donor? No.

Did you have imaginary friends when you were younger? Just one, but I didn’t get the point of it and I got bored very quickly.

Have you ever smoked weed? No but a friend knows a supplier should I ever want to start getting into it.

Who do you look up to for your style? Idk, whatever girls my age are wearing these days.

What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought? With my own money, probably the hotel accommodation I purchased for my dad’s birthday this weekend. I’m super stingy with my money and I can’t imagine spending 4 or 5 figures on something just for myself.

What's your favorite amusement park ride? Not too big on rides.

Who was the craziest teacher you've ever had? Ironically, it was my Christianity/religion teacher from 5th grade. We bumped into each other a few weeks after I graduated high school and his first remark towards me was about my breasts. He did a lot of stupid shit too when I was in 5th grade but I don’t feel like getting into them because he was just one big headache of a man.

Where would you like to travel that you have not been? Thailand, if within Asia; Spain if outside.

If you could be any musician for a day, who would you be and why? No thanks.

Do you have any tattoos? No.

What are your favorite scary movies? Some favorites are Carrie, The Shining, and Scream.

#survey #surveys

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scifigeneration · 5 years

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'The Big Bang Theory' finale: Sheldon and Amy's fictional physics parallels real science

by Adilson Motter

The cast made it through 279 episodes. CBS

After 12 successful seasons, “The Big Bang Theory” has finally come to a fulfilling end, concluding its reign as the longest running multicamera sitcom on TV.

If you’re one of the few who haven’t seen the show, this CBS series centers around a group of young scientists defined by essentially every possible stereotype about nerds and geeks. The main character, Sheldon (Jim Parsons), is a theoretical physicist. He is exceptionally intelligent, but also socially unconventional, egocentric, envious and ultra-competitive. His best friend, Leonard (Johnny Galecki), is an experimental physicist who, although more balanced, also shows more fluency with quantum physics than with ordinary social situations.

Their steadfast friends are an aerospace engineer and an astrophysicist. The story revolves around the contrast between their intellect; obsession with comic books, video games, science fiction and fantasy; and struggles with the basics of human interactions, including those with their female counterparts.

Physicist David Saltzberg makes sure the show’s science hits the target. Warner Bros. Studios

Science, especially physics, is a recurring theme in the show and the scientific authenticity and contemporaneity are noteworthy. Part of the credit for that goes to David Saltzberg, a professor of physics and astronomy at UCLA who served as a technical adviser for the series.

Even though it is not intended to educate, “The Big Bang Theory” frequently refers to real science. Many science communicators and distinguished scientists have made guest appearances, from Bill Nye to Stephen Hawking. But perhaps nothing is more recurrent in the show than the use of the “scientist” trope as the punchline of joke after joke.

So how would a physicist like me get interested in this show? Not only is it the most popular sitcom on American television, but it’s also a pop culture bridge to science. While it is not the first time science has been represented in mainstream media, “The Big Bang Theory” is currently its most visible representation. In addition, it just happens that the fictional research in the show makes contact with my own real research.

A science-y setting on a popular show

I was first exposed to “The Big Bang Theory” through interactions with people from outside academia, who would often refer to it as soon as they pegged me as a physicist. Reports that their teenage kids loved the show were common.

But what really got my attention was a Guardian article in 2011 that suggested, albeit anecdotally, that the show was helping increase the enrollment of physics majors. Why? Possibly by bringing the attention of a broad audience to the subject or by making physics look cool. Now that I am familiar with the show, I believe “The Big Bang Theory” is to physics what “CSI” was to forensics. It has brought physics, and especially the people doing physics, to a young audience of prospective science students.

As a physics professor and educator, I have a vested interest in attracting and nurturing talents in physics – and even in 2019, television can influence choices people make. While only good physics teaching and mentoring can convert interested students into talented scientists, a TV show like “The Big Bang Theory” can be what gets them into the classroom in the first place.

The show’s somewhat stereotypical image of physicists also has weaknesses, of which the most significant are the use of misogyny as a point of humor and a lack of diversity in the main cast. The perpetuation of stereotypes can reinforce the perception that certain groups don’t belong in physics. An entertainment show is not obligated to mirror real life, but this is a sensitive issue because physics still suffers from a lack of diversity and the dropout rates are high among certain underrepresented groups.

The show underwrites scholarships at UCLA for STEM students, including Kemeka Corry, on set here with actress Mayim Bialik, who herself holds a Ph.D. in neuroscience. Mike Yarish/©2019 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

Notwithstanding, as the show developed, leading female characters took the stage: an attractive, down-to-earth neighbor, a successful microbiologist, and finally, there was the intelligent, accomplished Amy (Mayim Bialik), a neurobiologist selected through an online dating site as Sheldon’s perfect match. They married in the finale of the 11th season.

The same episode also marks one of the most celebrated moments of the series: Sheldon and Amy’s serendipitous discovery that put them on track for a Nobel Prize in Physics.

A fictional theory worthy of a Nobel

It all starts with groom Sheldon’s difficulty straightening out his bow tie. Amy tells him “I don’t think it is supposed to be even. Sometimes a little asymmetry looks good. In the Renaissance, they called it ‘sprezzatura.‘”

When later he explains to his mom why he’s leaving it a bit off kilter, she says, “Sometimes it’s the imperfect stuff that makes things perfect.” It’s one of the best lines of the entire show, and the one that gave Sheldon the final clue to their scientific breakthrough.

Sheldon: My equations have been trying to describe an imperfect world, and the only way to do that is to introduce imperfection into the underlying theory.

Amy: So, instead of supersymmetry, it would be super asymmetry?!

Sheldon: Super asymmetry! That’s it!!

When the light bulb turns on, Sheldon scribbles out equations in lipstick on a mirror. CBS

The entire last season gravitates around the merits of “super asymmetry” and the threats of a competing group getting credit for it. In reality, no theory with this name exists, but the name was clearly inspired by supersymmetry, which does.

Supersymmetry concerns subatomic particles from which everything else is made. It proposes that every subatomic particle in the current standard model of particle physics has a so-called supersymmetric partner – essentially extra particles that exist in tandem with the already identified ones. This means that the underlying equations would remain unchanged under certain transformations, which has deep predictive implications. Supersymmetry has not yet been proved experimentally.

Now, how plausible is Amy and Sheldon’s super asymmetry as a physical theory? Depending on how you interpret what’s described in the show, it is either not sound or somewhat trivial in the subatomic world. However, it is highly nontrivial for collective behavior, which just happens to be my topic of research.

The real physics of asymmetry

I am an interdisciplinary physicist studying collective behavior in natural and engineered systems. Think of heart cells beating together, a power grid operating as a single system, shoals of fish schooling together, genes in a cell coordinating their activities and so on.

For a number of years, I’ve been working to understand why such systems can exhibit what we call behavioral symmetry – or homogeneity – even though the systems themselves are not symmetric – or homogeneous – at all. For example, your circadian clock can be well synchronized with the 24-hour cycle despite the fact that the individual neurons in the circadian system are quite different from each other. They exhibit the same period only when interacting with each other.

And here is how my research relates to Amy and Sheldon’s hypothetical theory. It’s generally assumed that individual entities are more likely to exhibit the same behavior if they are equal or similar to each other. Imagine lasers pulsing together, birds singing the same notes, and agents trying to reach consensus. My research shows that this assumption is in fact generally false when the entities interact with each other. Being equal doesn’t mean they’ll sync up. Since individual differences are ubiquitous and often unavoidable in real systems, such asymmetry (or imperfection) can be the unexpected source of behavioral symmetry.

There are instances in which the observed behavior of the system can be symmetric only when the system itself is not. My collaborator and I called this effect asymmetry-induced symmetry, but could have referred to it as a form of super asymmetry since it epitomizes the notion that imperfections make things perfect. Asymmetry-induced symmetry exposes scenarios in physical and biophysical systems in which we observe consensus because of – not despite – differences, thus adding a new dimension to the advantage of diversity.

“The Big Bang Theory” ends, but the message from the most gifted couple on television remains: We do live in a “perfectly imperfect universe.”

About The Author:

Adilson Motter is Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Northwestern University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license.

#science #science in film #science on tv #The Big Bang Theory #The Big Bang Theory Series Finale #Physics #STEM careers #women in STEM #scientist

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jkottke · 6 years

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Fake laughs! The invention of the laugh track.

On Tuesday, my friend Rex Sorgatz came out with the very timely book, The Encyclopedia of Misinformation, the full subtitle of which is "A Compendium of Imitations, Spoofs, Delusions, Simulations, Counterfeits, Impostors, Illusions, Confabulations, Skullduggery, Frauds, Pseudoscience, Propaganda, Hoaxes, Flimflam, Pranks, Hornswoggle, Conspiracies & Miscellaneous Fakery". Today I'm happy to present an excerpt about the genesis and use of the laugh track on television. [The video insert on how the laff box worked is mine.] -jason

No technique in television production has been more maligned than the laugh track, yet it somehow perseveres through decades of ridicule.

It all started innocently, as a quick hack to solve a technical problem. Charley Douglass, a sound engineer at CBS in the early '50s, was annoyed at studio audiences who inconveniently laughed at the wrong moments. Sometimes they chuckled too long at unfunny bits; other times, they refused to bellow with sufficient gusto. To evenly redistribute the laughter, Douglass invented a contraption that looked like a steampunk organ collided with a cyberpunk adding machine, connected on the back end to magnetic tapes with recorded laughter. By pressing buttons on the laff box (that's actually what he called it), an orchestrator could punch up guffaws, chortles, and giggles on demand. The magical machine also acted as a sort of demographic keyboard, with inputs for specific genders, ages, and ethnicities, plus a foot pedal that controlled the duration of each laugh. One keystroke might simulate frothy housewife giggle; another, guy who missed joke but laughs anyway. Keys could be combined into melodic chords of laughter, bringing down the house in a crescendo of hilarity.

youtube

The gizmo was a success, smoothing out the aural wrinkles in programs like The Abbott and Costello Show and I Love Lucy. It was a necessary evil of this nascent era, when television was rapidly changing from live broadcast to taped recordings. Audiences were still growing accustomed to the big square tube in their living rooms, and the laugh track helped ease the transition by simulating an intimate theater experience at home. You knew when to laugh because they told you when to laugh.

Naturally, this quaint bag of laughs was quickly abused. Sitcoms in the '60s and '70s took the laff box and cranked it to eleven. Realizing canned chuckles freed them from the burden of a live audience, shows like Gilligan's Island and The Brady Bunch ratcheted the laugh track to egregious levels. No show could escape the canned laughter craze -- beloved programs like The Muppet Show and M*A*S*H used laugh tracking, even during outdoor scenes, when a studio audience was improbable. When animated shows like The Flintstones and The Jetsons added tracks of artificial mirth, the entire illusion of a captive studio audience was finally shattered.

Show creators hated the laugh track, spurring a constant feud with network executives who believed audiences enjoyed the audio cues. To adjudicate the conflict, CBS held a controlled experiment in 1965 with its brand-new show Hogan's Heroes. The network tested two versions of the World War II comedy -- one with canned laughter, one without. The test audiences overwhelmingly preferred the laugh-tracked show. Since then, nearly all CBS comedies have contained audience laughter.

Fake laughter was far from universal though. Many beloved shows, including The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Friends, Cheers, and Seinfeld, used studio audiences for most of their laughter, only adding dashes of the canned stuff through sweetening (that's the term of art).1

But laughter of all kinds -- live or tracked -- was becoming the joke of the sitcom industry, as a morose aura started to envelop the merriment. An oft-told anecdote asserted that due to track age, the laff box contained the chortles of dead people. The canard seems to have originated with Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman in Man on the Moon (1999), who ad libbed this bit of dialogue about sitcoms like Taxi:

It's just stupid jokes and canned laughter! And you don't know why it's there, but it's there! And it's dead people laughing, did you know that? Those people are dead!1

It might have been true in the '70s, but the claim is likely not accurate today, as audio engineers are known to assiduously update their libraries with new snorts and snickers.

Regardless, the stench of dead laughter was in the air. Starting in the early aughts, shows began to jettison the laugh track, as most celebrated comedies of the era -- The Office, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Orange Is the New Black, 30 Rock, Community, Louie, Modern Family -- abandoned the cheesy blandishment. Some programs maintain laugh tracks today (especially those on CBS), and they do tend to get good ratings. In fact, one can almost divide sitcoms into two categories -- "critically acclaimed" versus "high ratings" -- on whether they use a laugh track. As a generalization, shows that cozen a laugh from the viewer perform better in the ratings but seldom win Emmys.

Although widely derided, the laugh track served its purpose. Television began as a medium for viewing live events with an audience (essentially theater-at-a-distance), and it took decades for television to evolve into its own medium. The laff box allowed producers to literally play the audience, like an organ. Perhaps it was synthetic, but the technical innovation put the audience into the tube, creating a more communal experience in our homes. Today, that role -- incorporating a disembodied audience -- is played by social media. LOL.

If you're interested in reading about more simulations, skullduggery, and flimflam, The Encyclopedia Of Misinformation is now available on Amazon.

Sweetening is demonstrated with dismay in Annie Hall when Woody Allen witnesses laugh tracks being added to a live broadcast in a Los Angeles television studio. The term is also invoked in other commercial arts. When Kiss's Alive! was released in 1975, it claimed to be a live album but many tracks were clearly sweetened, as they say, with studio overdubs to sharpen the sound.↩

Another oft-cited (but inaccurate) source for this old saw is Chuck Palahniuk's 2002 novel Lullaby: "Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead."↩

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Schitt’s Creek: The Tragic Backstory and Glorious Redemption of Twyla Sands

https://ift.tt/3w8aa61

Given the title is basically a Schitt pun, it’s perhaps surprising that Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek is one of the sweetest most nuanced shows around. Written by and starring father and son Eugene and Dan Levy it follows the Rose family, once extremely affluent, now entirely bankrupt after a tax scandal, the only asset they are allowed to retain is the town of Schitt’s Creek which Johnny Rose bought for his son David as a joke.

If you haven’t seen the show – well go and watch it immediately (and also spoilers) but know that it takes a couple of episodes to really get into it. Once you’re in, you’re in.

Though there are many things to celebrate throughout the six seasons of the show – its incredible focus on inclusivity and how it handles its LGBTQ+ storylines, Moira and Johnny’s loving and supportive marriage, Alexis and Ted’s heartbreaking romance, David and Stevie’s friendship, Moira’s wigs and much more, there one character who is often on the sidelines who very much deserves to be celebrated.

Twyla Sands, played by Sarah Levy – sister of Dan Levy, daughter of Eugene – is the manager of the Cafe Tropical, apparently the only diner in the town of Schitt’s Creek. She’s a woman with a semi-tragic backstory and a relentlessly sunny disposition – a twist on how the character was initially imagines, according to Sarah Levy.

“She was very nerdy and introverted and there was a sadness to her,” Levy explains on the Best Wishes, Warmest Regards: A Schitt’s Creek Farewell documentary. The decision to turn Twyla into a far more cheerful character brought much humor to the show, so although her brilliant one liners hint at a very dark past her upbeat outlook allows us to laugh rather be disturbed.

When we meet her, Twyla is dating Mutt (Tim Rozon) but it becomes clear quite early on that there’s chemistry between Mutt and Alexis. Mutt isn’t great at communication and it seems like he doesn’t appreciate that true brilliance of Twyla’s asides. During a dinner party hosted by Ted the two bicker when Twyla attempts to introduce one of her anecdotes:

Twyla:I had a best friend that hooked. She married one of her Johns on my birthday

Mutt: It’s not the time, Twyla.

Twyla: You don’t talk all dinner, and now you’re telling me I can’t talk about Trixie?!

Mutt: I’m sorry, it’s just I think sometimes you have a tendency to say the wrong thing, that’s all.

Twyla: Is there a right time to talk about being a hooker?

Could this best friend be the same one she mentions in a later episode?

“My best friend in kindergarten ran away, and her parents didn’t notice, and she ended up getting adopted by this really rich Asian family in Vancouver, but then they had their own kid, so she kind of got neglected a bit, and I can’t remember whether she’s back on the streets now, or…”

Though Twyla is initially planning to write a song for Mutt for his birthday, Alexis learns that he’s planning to break up with her. Instead she encourages Twyla to get in there first and end things with him. It’s an act of kindness, although Alexis does then date Mutt herself.

It’s ok though. Twyla, who has a strong spiritual side (she can see ghosts who are usually angry, has an aunt who has a ghost in her house that keeps leaving dimes everywhere, can read Tarot cards given to her by one of her mum’s ex-boyfriends who predicted to when he would leave her mum, to the day), knows that Mutt was just a ‘placeholder’. Her tea leaves told her that the man she’s supposed to marry is Black.

Twyla’s parents

Twyla’s dad, we learn, is in prison and it’s not clear exactly what for. We do know that he used to be a roadie for the band Fleetwood Mac, though, and that they took out a restraining order against him.

Schitt’s Creek Season 6 Review

By Kayti Burt

Twyla’s mum has a fairly terrible track record with men, and has had numerous failed relationships. She was engaged to two pizza delivery guys, she dated a magician and gambling addict and she was also engaged to a satanist whose snake ate her turtle dove on Valentine’s day. The gambling addict might be the reason why Twyla has been banned from numerous casinos for being an unaccompanied minor. We also know Twyla’s mum is still dating, but these days half the time she thinks Twyla is her cousin Angela. When Twyla’s end of show twist is revealed (more on that in a bit) we also learn that Twy’s mum spent the money Twyla gave her on “a lot of snow mobiles”.

At least Twyla’s mum always comes to her murder mystery nights, even if she does bring whoever she’s dating, and that person usually brings a young friend…

We also learn that one of her step siblings is probably, dead after she and Alexis swap jewelry and Alexis gets her step brother’s dog tags. We said it was dark.

Her extended family is messed up too

Twyla has aunts, uncles and cousins who have equally dark backstories. This is kind of Twyla’s schtick and it’s introduced in episode one when she offers cold comfort to Johnny Rose, after his family has lost everything.

Twyla: I had a second cousin in Elmdale who did telemarketing, he made a ton of money. It turns out his entire business was illegal, and he lost everything.

Johnny: Hm. Not quite the same.

Twyla: Yeah, no, he went to prison, which is terrible, but… But he is learning Spanish, “No mas, le duele!” I think it means, “Stop, it hurts.”

Her uncle also has had problems with debt, she shares

“Between you and me, I know how hard it can be to pay off debt. My Uncle Ken only has three fingers now, which is too bad, because he’s deaf, and he only speaks using sign language, but he made his choices.”

Is this same uncle that had a parrot that kept telling her to take her bra off?

Her cousins don’t seem to have much luck either. We learn that one was in Riverdance until she got trampled.

The Cafe Tropical

Though Twyla has run the cafe for a while and works extremely hard, the cafe tropical, despite apparently being the only place to eat out in Schitt’s Creek isn’t exactly a culinary paradise, and at least part of that is down to some bad decisions on Twyla’s part.

There was the time she bought black market milk and a lot of people got sick. In hindsight it probably wasn’t even cow’s milk – is elk’s milk a thing?

Then there’s the meadow harvest smoothies, which are exactly what they sound like and change every day. And probably don’t order the soup to go – it comes double bagged with a spoon or straw.

Twyla’s glorious redemption

Fittingly, though, by the end of series six, we learn Twyla isn’t such a tragic character after all. In fact, before the Roses even arrive in town she won the lottery, splitting $92 million with one other person. She doesn’t work in the Cafe Tropical for the money, she just enjoys it. By the end Alexis has convinced her that it’s ok to use the money to treat herself to something that she wants. What Twyla wants is the cafe so she purchases it outright, with plans to rename it as Twyla’s Cafe Tropical. And why not?

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It’s a perfect ending for a character who we have grown to love – she might be ditsy and prone to bad luck but she’s also emotionally intelligent and empathetic often offering good advice to Alexis, showing support and enthusiasm to Moira and bonding with Johnny even though they don’t necessarily always deserve it.

Twyla loves where she lives. She loves her life and loves where she works. Twyla is a wonderful example of a person who knows herself, doesn’t need attention but is a great success without having to shout about it. We should all be a little bit Twyla.

Like Twyla, Sarah Levy isn’t in the spotlight but she’s still a part of the Schitt’s Creek family, so to give her her own joyful denouement is just right. Twyla Sands, we salute you.

The post Schitt’s Creek: The Tragic Backstory and Glorious Redemption of Twyla Sands appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3w8CKUL

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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papermoonloveslucy · 6 years

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BOB HOPE'S LOVE AFFAIR WITH LUCY

September 23, 1989

Produced & Directed by Ellen Brown

Written by Robert L. Mills, Martha Bolton, Jeffrey Barron

Lucille Ball (Archival Footage) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in April 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon, which was not a success and was canceled after just 13 episodes.

TRIBUTES BY

Bob Hope (Himself, Host) was born Lesley Townes Hope in England in 1903. During his extensive career in virtually all forms of media he received five honorary Academy Awards. In 1945 Desi Arnaz was the orchestra leader on Bob Hope’s radio show. Ball and Hope did four films together. He appeared as himself on the season 6 opener of “I Love Lucy.” He did a brief cameo in a 1964 episode of “The Lucy Show.” When Lucille Ball moved to NBC in 1980, Hope appeared on her welcome special. He died in 2003 at age 100.

George Burns (Himself) was born Nathan Birnbaum in New York City in January 1896. He married Gracie Allen in 1926 and the two formed an act (Burns and Allen) that toured in vaudeville. They had their own hit show “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” first on radio then on CBS TV from 1950 to 1958, airing concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” He appeared as himself on “The Lucy Show” (S5;E1) in 1966 as well as doing a cameo on “Lucy and Jack Benny's Biography” (HL S3;E11) in 1970. After Allen’s death in 1964, Burns reinvented himself as a solo act. In 1976 he won an Oscar for playing one of The Sunshine Boys. He was also known for playing the title role in Oh, God! (1978) and its 1984 sequel Oh, God! You Devil. Burns and Ball appeared on many TV variety and award shows together. He died at the age of 100.

Danny Thomas (Himself) was born Amos Muzyad Yakhoob Kairouz in 1912. His screen career began in 1947 but he was most famous for appearing on television in the long-running show “Make Room for Daddy” (1953-64), which was shot at Desilu Studios. When the series moved from ABC to CBS in 1957, Thomas and the cast starred in a rare TV cross-over with “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” titled “Lucy Makes Room for Danny.” In return, Lucy and Desi turned up on Thomas’s show. Fifteen years later, Lucy and Danny did yet another cross-over when Lucy Carter of “Here’s Lucy” appeared on “Make Room for Granddaddy.” In addition, Thomas also played an aging artist on a 1973 episode of “Here’s Lucy.” Thomas is fondly remembered for founding St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. He is also father to actress Marlo Thomas. He died in 1999.

Betty White (Herself) was born in 1922 and has the longest career of any female entertainer. She is probably best known as Rose Nylund on “The Golden Girls” and Sue Ann Nivens on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” Although White and Ball never acted together, the two appeared several times on “Password,” one of Lucy's favorite game shows. It was originally hosted by White's husband, Alan Ludden. She last shared the “Password” panel with Lucy in November 1988, just six months before Ball's death.

Kirk Cameron (Himself) was the star of ABC's hit show “Growing Pains.” He appeared with Lucille Ball on three other Bob Hope specials from 1986 to 1988.

Les Brown and His Band of Renown (Orchestra) were the musical guests on the 1956 “The Bob Hope Chevy Show” that satirized “I Love Lucy” with Hope playing Ricky Ricardo.

John Harlan (Announcer)

ARCHIVE FOOTAGE

Doris Singleton (as Doris from “The Bob Hope Christmas Special” ~ December 9, 1973)

Gary Morton (as Himself from “The Bob Hope Christmas Special” ~ December 9, 1973)

Bobby Jellison (as a Gangster from “The Bob Hope Show” ~September 24, 1962)

Desi Arnaz (as Fred Mertz from “The Bob Hope Chevy Show” ~ October 6, 1956)

Vivian Vance (as Ethel Mertz from “The Bob Hope Chevy Show” ~ October 6, 1956)

William Frawley (as Captain Blystone from “The Bob Hope Chevy Show” ~ October 6, 1956)

Vitto Scotti (as Carlo from The Facts of Life)

Peter Leeds (as Thompson from The Facts of Life)

Joe Ploski (as Man at Drive-In from The Facts of Life)

Mary Jane Saunders (as Martha Jane Smith from Sorrowful Jones)

This special aired on a Saturday evening at 10pm, traditionally a difficult time for television programs. Luckily, its lead-in was the season 5 premiere of the phenomenally successful “The Golden Girls” (also featuring Betty White) which led the evening with a 23.5 share. “Bob Hope's Love Affair With Lucy” came in second, with a respectable 19.3. It was up against College Football on ABC. Because the special was 90 minutes and started on the half hour, its competition on CBS was the last half hour of “Tour of Duty” (season 3 premiere) and the series premiere of “Saturday Night With Connie Chung.”

Because this special aired on NBC, no scenes from any of Lucille Ball's CBS sitcoms (or “Life with Lucy” on ABC) were included. Kirk Cameron was an ABC star, but worked on several of Hope's NBC specials. Although Betty White never acted with Lucille Ball, the pair enjoyed an off-stage friendship. White also was a perfect tie-in to keep “The Golden Girls” fans tuned after the sitcom's season opener. Although Burns and Thomas both worked on screen with Lucy, no clips of their collaborations were used. Also conspicuously missing is Gale Gordon, who was part of Lucille Ball's career since her days on radio.

[For more information about the clips, click on the hyperlinks, where available.]

BOB HOPE

The special opens with a montage of clips of Lucille Ball's entrances on Bob Hope's specials, underscored by the “I Love Lucy Theme.” After a quick commercial break, Bob Hope enters to the sounds of his theme song “Thanks for the Memory.”

Hope: “Lucy handled the media and television like she handled everything else, with grace and style and a richness of color that didn't need any help from the peacock.”

The ‘peacock’ Hope is referring to is the NBC logo. Lucille Ball left CBS for NBC in 1980, but the move resulted in only one TV special (“Lucy Moves To NBC”), one failed pilot (“Bungle Abbey”) and multiple appearances on Bob Hope's specials.

The first clip in the 90-minute tribute is from “The Bob Hope Christmas Special” (December 9, 1973). Ball and Hope play themselves in a sketch about a misunderstanding surrounding an expensive ring he's bought for his wife, but sent to Lucy's home for safe keeping. Naturally, Lucy thinks it's for her. The clip features appearances by long-time Lucy character actress Doris Singleton and Lucy's husband Gary Morton.

DANNY THOMAS

Danny Thomas calls Lucy his 'landlady' because “Make Room for Daddy” was shot at Desilu Studios. He tells a funny anecdote from when Ball appeared on his short-lived sitcom “The Practice” in 1976.

Thomas: “When I worked on her show, she did most of the directing. And when she did my show... she did most of the directing.”

Thomas talks about of their working relationship. He says that despite their great friendship, Lucy would not divulge her age, even to him.

In a voice over, Bob Hope introduces a black and white clip of a sketch from “The Bob Hope Show” (October 24, 1962). In it Lucy plays a District Attorney and Bob a gangster named Bugsy Hope. The 1962 clip edits out a bit that was frighteningly prescient. A spray of gunfire comes through the window and Lucy remarks “Just what I wanted, a Jackie Kennedy hairdo.” Considering the tragic events of November 1963, this clearly could not be aired in 1989. Another change involves music royalties: in the original, Lucy makes her entrance into Bugsy's flat to the tune of David Rose's “The Stripper” (released in 1962) but in 1989 it is replace by a similar sounding piece of music.

Bugsy Hope: “I don't usually go for flatfeet, but the rest of you kind of makes up for it.” DA Lucy: “I don't usually go for hoods, but you could use one.”

In the sketch, Hope makes Lucy laugh and drop character several times, a rarity for Ball.

KIRK CAMERON

Kirk Cameron (who had just turned 18) says that the first time he met Lucille Ball on a May 1987 Bob Hope show at an Pope Air Force Base in North Carolina. On a subsequent Hope special, Lucy needed a stand-in to take a pie in the face and chose Cameron. He was unsure if it was an honor or payback for making her wait outside her dressing room to meet him the year before.

Cameron: “I think that I speak for a lot of people my age when I say that I love Lucy.”

The next clip is the satire of “I Love Lucy” featuring the entire original cast (plus Hope and Tommy the trained seal). In “The Bob Hope Chevy Show” (October 6, 1956), Hope introduces the sketch as himself wondering what it would be like if he had married Lucy instead of Desi. It is presented in its original black and white, although it was later colorized for a video release. Not coincidentally, five days earlier the sixth and final season of “I Love Lucy” began airing with “Lucy and Bob Hope” (S6;E1).

GEORGE BURNS

George Burns affectionately recalls how Lucy was in show business 24 hours a day. He says that he was married to a comedienne (Gracie Fields) but she couldn’t have been more different than Lucy.

Burns: “Lucy was all of show business wrapped up in this charming lady.”

He remembers an appearance with Lucy when they sang “Lazy” by Irving Berlin. He sings a few bars. Burns says that he's booked to play the Palladium in London when he turns 100. Although he did live to 100, his health declined at age 98 and this booking never came to pass.

Bob's voice over introduces a couple of scenes from The Facts of Life, a black and white film that Hope and Ball did for United Artists in 1960. In the scene Larry (Hope) and Kitty (Lucy) are on a fishing boat remembering old times when they realized they went to the same high school together. In the second clip, Kitty and Larry realize they can't play cards without their glasses, but they can't kiss with them on either. Finally, Larry and Kitty are kissing at the drive-in when they are spotted by the local dry cleaner. Lucy had just finished playing Lucy Ricardo, with the final episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” airing in April 1960.

BETTY WHITE

To the accompaniment of “Thank You for Being a Friend” Golden Girl Betty White is introduced. She lists three-word TV titles of the '50s, “Our Miss Brooks,” “I Married Joan,” “Life with Elizabeth,” “Father Knows Best,” and “I Love Lucy.” White remembers that she shot her second series “Date With the Angels” at Desilu Studios and that is where she first met Lucy.

White: “I can still see her. Tall and built and she had a navy blue dress on with white polka dots and this hair that made it look like her head was on fire.”

White credits Lucille Ball with filming comedy using the three camera system and a studio audience. White's mother Tess and Lucy's mother Dede were great friends. Betty recalls the last time she saw Lucy, a week before she went into the hospital. She says she can still recall Lucy's deep and abundant laughter that night. White let's the audience know that they shoot “The Golden Girls” at the old Desilu lot.

Bob's voice introduces a clip from the film Fancy Pants (1950) with Bob Hope as Humphrey the butler and Lucy as Agatha, the daughter of the man he works for. This movie was made just before Lucille Ball got pregnant with her daughter Lucie, and before “I Love Lucy” was in development. At the time, Ball was starring on radio in “My Favorite Husband.”

Next is a dramatic scene from Sorrowful Jones, a film Hope and Ball did in 1949. Ball played Gladys and Hope was Sorrowful (aka Humphrey).

A clip from “Happy Birthday, Bob: 50 Stars Salute Your 50 Years with NBC” (May 16, 1988) has Lucy singing “Comedy Ain't No Joke” by Cy Coleman and James Lipton.

This leads directly into Lucy as Sophie Tucker singing “Some of These Days” from “Bob Hope's All Star Comedy Tribute to Vaudeville” (May 25, 1977).

Lucy and Bob sing “I Remember It Well” by Frederick Loewe from “Bob Hope's High-Flying Birthday Extravaganza” (May 25, 1987). The song (originally from the film Gigi) has special lyrics with references to their legendary partnership including Fancy Pants and Facts of Life.

Finally, a clip of Lucy and Bob's last appearance together at the 61st Annual Academy Awards telecast (March 29, 1989). This was also Lucille Ball’s last public appearance.

In his final remarks, Hope works in mentions of two of Lucy's most memorable comedy bits from “I Love Lucy”: “Hollywood at Last!” (S4;E16) and “Lucy's Italian Movie” (S5;E23).

Hope: “Whether her nose caught fire or she was stomping grapes, Lucy got us all to laugh. Thanks Lucille, for making life a ball.”

The closing credits appear over stills of Lucy and Bob on TV, some of which were not included in the special.

This Date in Lucy History – September 23rd

“Mod, Mod Lucy” (HL S1;E1) – September 23, 1974

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soyoureviewhiphoptoo · 7 years

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Soundtrack of the Week 06/07/2017

Another week, another Soundtrack. I must say that I spent a majority of the week with Jay Z- 4:44 on repeat. Without a single doubt in my mind, I can exclaim that 4:44 is a masterpiece that I urge everyone to listen to (and I urge everyone to read my review on the blog). Not to worry, this will not be my third post in the space of a week where I talk about Jay-Z. This is the Soundtrack of the Week. (long post inbound)

Calvin Harris- Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 Released June 30, 2017 Label: Columbia Records

There was a time when I would not have acknowledged Calvin Harris. I would hear his EDM songs randomly on an advert or in the gym and I would just overlook him. His music is not particularly bad (He has some of the better mainstream EDM songs, they’re just overplayed) but they just were not for me. I was not going out of my way to listen to a Calvin Harris song, let alone an album from him….then he released Slide. I was online one day and I saw the phrase “Calvin Harris Ft. Frank Ocean and Migos”. I can openly say that I was very intrigued. I am a huge Frank Ocean fan so I was glad to hear him make music and not disappear after releasing his latest album Blonde and I’ve grown to really like Migos. But I was more intrigued to hear what a song between those four men would actually sound like. Needless to say, I was blown away.

Soon thereafter, Harris releases three more singles Heatstroke Featuring Young Thug, Pharrell Williams and Ariana Grande, Rollin Featuring Khalid and Future and Feels Featuring Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry and Big Sean. Honestly, those songs gripped me and pushed me towards listening to this album. Here’s the thing… Calvin Harris found a way to throw together a group of artists on a song, who have no business being together on paper and make amazing songs that are able to flow right. What I appreciate even more about this album is that Calvin does not give up his artistry on production. He isn’t trying to throw out Hip Hop or RnB beats but he’s sticking to his own wave of EDM and disco beats. Calvin Harris has just entered the DJ Khaled lane of being able to bring in superstar artists on smash hit songs for the summer. Definitely worth a listen.

RATINGS

Concept: 3/5 Production: 4/5 Lyrical Content: 3.5/5 Flow and Delivery: 3.5/5 Repeatability: 4.5/5 Did I enjoy this project? I really did Songs to Recommend? Slide, Rollin, Hard To Love, Feels and Cash Out

Final Rating: 3.7/5

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Calvin Harris Featuring Frank Ocean and Migos- Slide The lead single of the album and my favourite song. A mixture of warming Frank Ocean vocals with interesting Migo verses that do not superimpose themselves over the upbeat summer beat.

Iggy Azalea- Switch Released May 19, 2017 Label: Def Jam Recordings AND Iggy Azalea- The New Classic Released April 21, 2014 Label: Def Jam Recordings and Virgin EMI Records

Clearly, this is the week where I listen to artists where I would not normally listen to. While Calvin Harris built up intrigue in my mind that drew me in whereas Iggy Azalea is…something else. Here is a lengthy anecdote for you guys. Once upon a time, I was intrigued by Iggy Azalea. When she was on her come up in 2012/2013, Nicki Minaj was the only female rapper in the mainstream (who I am not a big fan of but whatever). I was looking forward to the prospect of someone else coming to take the crown of the top female rapper. Then Iggy released her biggest single to date, Fancy. Now…I was not a fan of the song. The song itself is not bad but it did not feel unique. The beat felt like someone hacked Mike WiLL Made-It’s laptop and took one of the beats from his untitled, throwaway folder (This song was released around the time Mike Will came to his prominence, releasing hit songs with Rae Srummurd and Miley Cyrus of all people) and Iggy’s verse was good (not mind blowing but better than most rap verses on pop songs) but it was overshadowed by the Charli XCX hook which gets annoying very quickly.

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Iggy Azalea Featuring Charli XCX- Fancy The hit single from Iggy Azalea. The music video is reminiscent of 90s high school sitcoms like Saved by the Bell and Clueless. (The benefit of being born in ‘96 is that you are able to catch the great things of the 90s, everyone’s favourite decade)

But there are two instances where my intrigue and liking of Iggy vanished. First, I learned that she was Australian. “Excuse me, are you a xenophobe?” I have no problem with her nationality obviously. The issue arises when you learn that she is Australian and yet she sounds like a black woman from Atlanta when she raps…that is false advertising and feels disingenuous to listeners. The second issue was that as a pop rapper, she had the possibility of winning several Grammys including the Grammy for Rap Album of the Year. Mind you, she was nominated the year after we witnessed The Heist of the century when Macklemore and Ryan Lewis won the Grammy over Kendrick Lamar (You have got to appreciate that pun, you just have to) so it was highly likely that we were going to get a repeat. Granted, the committee were kind that year and she did not win anything but to even be nominated is weird.

While silly niggas argue over who gon’ snatch the crown Look around, my nigga, white people have snatched the sound This year I’ll prolly go to the awards dappered down Watch Iggy win a Grammy as I try to crack a smile

From J. Cole- Fire Squad What is interesting here is that The New Classic lost to the Eminem album, The Marshell Mathers LP 2. While they are both white artists, are we going to call Em a culture vulture?

Nowadays, Iggy has pretty much fallen from grace. In the years since the release of The New Classic, Iggy became one of those celebrities that were famous for the sake of fame and not for her music. While she has been chasing after another hit song, she has yet to find that record. It has even resulted to using her large bum and twerking as a way to catch attention (with Booty, a song that she did with J-Lo as a way to catch the attention, Nicki Minaj- Anaconda had secured literally a month earlier and recent singles Mo’ Bounce and the aforementioned Switch). With news of her latest album, Digital Distortion, being pushed back, her fall is even more apparent (she was slated for a release the same day as Jay-Z most recently, so maybe there was a valid reason for the pushback). Here is my biggest problem with Iggy Azalea though which became validated when I decided to listen to The New Classic after years of clowning her for being Grammy nominated for mediocre pop music. While the album itself is not bad at all and I liked it more than I thought it would, it doesn’t feel unique. Iggy Azalea as an artist does not feel unique. She is not a bad rapper but there is nothing there that pushes me to listen to her more. She has a good ear for beats but with her production, it feels like she is chasing hype; she is just rapping over what is trending and it leaves the project sounding dated. When you chase hype in your music, you can not build up your own style and you just feel like pale imitations of others who did it far better.

RATINGS

Concept: 2/5 Production: 2.5/5 Lyrical Content: 2.5/5 Flow and Delivery: 3/5 Repeatability: 2/5 Did I enjoy this project? I did but not really Songs to Recommend? Walk The Line, Work and Don’t Need Y’all

Final Rating: 2.4/5

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Iggy Azalea- Switch The song is not even that bad. It is a decent club hit but it just feels drab and lifeless as it lacks a unique sound. Besides, in an era of trap music and mumble rap being played in clubs, who is really trying to listen to this?

I have spent a remarkably long time talking about an artist I do not even like that much…so let’s switch it up. (Oh the puns continue!) Nas- It was Written Released July 2, 1996 Label: Columbia Records

This past Sunday was the 21st anniversary of It Was Written so I decided to put this on and give it a revisit (that sounds familiar). While Jay-Z was one of the first rappers I was exposed to as a child, Nas was one of the first rappers I decided to listen during my teenage years as a way of widening my scope of hip-hop music. While I knew of him and heard songs from him, it was not until I played Saints Row 2 and heard N.Y. State of Mind for the first time, that I truly realised I needed to listen to him. I would go on to listen to his first three albums constantly.

Nas’ debut album, Illmatic is regarded as not only his best work but also one of the greatest hip-hop albums of all time. I will never dispute the importance of Illmatic in hip-hop history (it has had a huge impact on my life and I was not even alive when it was released) but honestly, I believe that It Was Written was a better album as a whole.

To date, It Was Written is Nas’ most commercially successful album. While commercial success should not be your standard for considering whether an album is great or not but there are cases when a combination of a style change and a stellar debut brings in more ears than ever. Gone are the gritty, underground sounds of Illmatic and enters more polished, elaborate funk and jazz instrumentation that helped bring in the mainstream appeal. I have heard a majority of Nas’ discography at one point in my life and it is hard for me to say that any other project has a better sound in terms of production than It Was Written (seeing as Nas’ ear for beats is a running joke in hip-hop, I can say he was on point here).

What puts this album in a lane of its own is the lyrical content. Much like Reasonable Doubt, Nas explores the mafioso rap genre throughout a majority of the songs on this album. Armed with the stellar storytelling ability and impressive lyricism that brought him fame, Nas talks about drug dealing, murder, revenge and being ahead of the competition in such a deep and visceral way that you can close your eyes and visualise yourself in the situations he is describing. While Jay-Z mostly talked about the rewards that the mafia lifestyle brought, Nas talked about the dark and gruesome activities that mafiosos would partake in. The ultimate discussion of this gangster lifestyle actually comes from the perspective of a gun. With I Gave You Power, Nas personifies a desert eagle, who had become the witness of many crimes in the hoods of America, watching as himself and other guns like him are used to cause so much damage to people.

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Nas- I Gave You Power

With strong features from Mobb Deep, Lauryn Hill and members of Nas’ short-lived group, The Firm, and production from the likes of DJ Premier, Dr Dre, Havoc (of Mobb Deep) and Trackmasters, It Was Written is a spectacular showing from Nas and is his quintessential album.

RATINGS

Concept: 4.5/5 Production: 4.5/5 Lyrical Content: 5/5 Flow and Delivery: 4.5/5 Repeatability: 5/5 Did I enjoy this project? Of course, I did Songs to Recommend? The Message, I Gave You Power, Take It In Blood, Affirmative Action, The Set Up, Black Girl Lost, Shootouts, Live Nigga Rap, If I Ruled The World and Silent Murder

Final Rating: 4.7/5

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Nas Featuring Lauryn Hill- If I Ruled The World (Imagine That) The lead single of this album and possibly one of his most well-known songs. A song that has Nas imagining how he would shape the earth as the ruler.

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newyorktheater · 4 years

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Playwright David Adjmi’s delightful new book Lot Six: A Memoir (Harper Collins, 388 pages) is the most entertaining theater memoir I’ve read since Act One, the gold standard of theatrical memoirs, which the celebrated playwright and director Moss Hart wrote in 1959 (two years before his death) about his stage-struck, impoverished childhood in the Bronx, his theatrical apprenticeship and his first of many Broadway triumphs. If there are some similarities in the stories – and the wit – of the two Jewish New York theater artists born into challenging circumstances seven decades apart, their differences reflect the many ways the theater has changed. Hart was forced to drop out of school as a teenager, had his first play produced at 18, and was writing Broadway hits starting in his twenties. The Brooklyn-born Adjmi matriculated at several prestigious universities and graduate programs, and has won major prizes and fellowships — in the acknowledgements page, he thanks nine different writers residencies where he wrote much of the memoir – yet at the age of 47, he has not yet had a play on Broadway. (His new play “Stereophonic,” was aiming for a Broadway run in 2021, but like everything else, is currently in limbo.) He is probably best known for his play “3C,” an Off-Broadway parody of “Three’s Company,” and then largely because he won a lawsuit against the copyright holders of the TV sitcom. If “Act One” capped an illustrious career, “Lot Six” promises a higher profile for a writer who deserves it. Adjmi wins me over in his very first story, about seeing “Sweeney Todd” when he was eight years old. His mother had been taking him from their insulated Syrian Jewish community in Brooklyn to Broadway shows since the age of five, determined “to bring me up as cultured – even if she didn’t know what culture was, exactly.” But this musical shocked him from the first earsplitting shriek of a factory whistle and the terrifying first song. “Was this the right show? Where was the pie lady from the commercial?” What follows is the funniest yet clearest and most spot-on description of “Sweeney Todd” that I’ve ever read – all the more priceless because it includes his reaction to it, which was passionate enough to ignite not just an identification with the wronged Sweeney but a life-long devotion to the theater. “Sweeney Todd made me physically sick, but somehow the ugliness in it was exquisite….I wanted that beauty in my life.” After the first scene, however, there is little mention of theater for a very long stretch, as the author takes us through the next decade or so of his lonely, circumscribed life — his quirky, dysfunctional family, parochial community, and oppressively rule-dominated yeshiva, where he most definitely did not belong: “I found God very off-putting. He was a bully who inflicted psychological torture on people . And the Bible wasn’t spiritually edifying. It didn’t fill me with emotion, it didn’t make me want to bolt up and start singing or dancing or sobbing the way I did watching The Wiz and 42nd Street.” The anecdotes from his childhood can be horrid: Sent to school hungry, because his neglectful parents couldn’t even get it together to feed him, he once asked a group of girls whether they could share their snacks with him. One of them threw a fistful of potato sticks on the dirty floor, and giggled. David scooped them up and ate them. “Soon my classmates were all standing in a semicircle, throwing food at me – dried fruit and potato sticks and Twizzlers, and I ate whatever they threw. It didn’t feel like a compromise or humiliation, it didn’t feel like anything…” His own family made him feel alienated because of their ridicule of what they called Lot Six, which is a dismissive epithet used by the Syrian Jewish community for queer people. Adjmi knew he was attracted to men from an early age, but never said it aloud until 14, when his therapist (to whom he was sent because of bad grades) encouraged him to do so using a hand puppet. The overall impression of Adjmi’s unhappy childhood is far from grim, because of the many moments of rebellion and relief – the tales of mischief with his one friend, Howie, for example – and also thanks to the author’s sharp, often comic rendering of unforgettable characters and vivid moments. Adjmi is mercilessly precise in his description of physical appearances. A long paragraph skewers a vengeful teacher by detailing her features, including “fingernails..so long and glossy they seemed part machine. Each element felt so blown out and artificial that when one put them all together it was like a surrealist painting…” It’s not surprising that, as he tells us in an Author’s Note, all the names in his memoir have been changed, even those of his family. But if such a visual portrait might feel like revenge, he applies the same unrelenting eye to characters he likes. “…his fingers were long and thin like insect antennae…” “She was from Los Angeles but seemed like a New Yorker. She wore a lot of black and looked like she’d be good at hailing cabs….” “He was doe-eyed and chinless, unrugged and soft-voiced. On cold days, his nose appeared bright red” The second year acting students at Juilliard “had the unnatural ablated openness of people in cults – their skin seemed ripped off and all the raw nerves exposed.” About that “ablated.” It means tissue surgically removed. “Lot Six” contains the sort of profuse use of abstruse vocabulary most common in poets and autodidacts – cathecting, pelagic, proleptic – sometimes paired with a low-rent word for what I assumed was intended as comic effect — dyadic closeness, cynosural cuddling. Given this display of erudition, I was surprised at his occasional lapses in grammar and his profligate use of “disinterest” to mean lack of interest rather than impartiality. It comes as something of a revelation about halfway through the book, when he tells us (amid much discussion of Nietzsche and literature) that as a sophomore transfer student at Sarah Lawrence he purchased “Barron’s Vocabulary Builder and a pack of index cards….” – and shot the words he learned “like lead balls from a cannon.” There are other unusual choices in “Lot Six.” It includes footnotes, which often tell stories that he could have included in the body of his book, including, weirdly, the story of his coming out to his family. Given the title of the book, there is relatively little about his gay life – little more than a few paragraphs on his first awkward sexual encounter, and a few pages about his first boyfriend. It isn’t until about two-thirds of the way through “Lot Six” that the author – and his character – dive deep into the theater. Feeling at a low point in his life, he takes a train into the city from college and buys a ticket to see “Six Degrees of Separation” – which he describes with the same clarity and passion as “Sweeney Todd,” struck by how much playwright John Guare, “whom I had never met…knew me.”– then walks through Times Square. “I stood for a moment in the jangle of voices and noise, and I felt a sense of enormous calm wash over me. It was where I belonged.” He experiences a similar epiphany again walking in Manhattan a few years later, this time in Chelsea, on Thanksgiving break from his graduate studies at the Iowa Writers Workshop (having decided senior year to become a playwright.) He began hearing dialogue for a play in his head. “It was uncanny….the sort of thing that was supposed to happen to writers all the time” – but had never happened to him. Theater people in the know will probably be talking most about the chapters of “Lot Six” that focus on his year in the playwriting program of the Juilliard School, and his tense relationship with the co-head of the program, whom he calls Gloria (but whose real identity is easy to uncover.) He graphically depicts her brutal treatment – how she looks at her cell phone, rummages through her handbag, and sometimes simply leaves the classroom, whenever he reads new pages: “Her overlong fingernails plucked the surface of the table with an aggressive clack. ‘Well,’ she trilled, ‘do you actually need comments on this, or can we just move on?’ Weeks later: “’Are you trying to write cardboard characters,’ she said, ‘or are you trying to write people?’ “The way she said the word ‘people’ made it sound like I wasn’t really a person, how would I even remotely know the workings of the species.” “’People,’ I replied with a slight aphasia…..” There is a measure of satisfaction from the fact that, although Gloria so upset Adjmi that for a long time he had trouble writing, she also (inadvertently) helped contribute to his first theatrical triumph – a convoluted tale that’s funny and touching, and involves a gazelle; that’s all I’ll say. “Lot Six,” like “Act One,” more or less ends with the story of the playwright’s first big success, a play called “Stunning” that was produced at Lincoln Center in 2009 and extended several times. But unlike the story of the Broadway hit that concludes Hart’s memoir, “Stunning” didn’t make David Adjmi rich, and it didn’t make him famous; it made him infamous, at least among the Syrian Jewish community of Brooklyn. They were the subject of “Stunning,” a bleak play that places some largely unappealing characters into a plot he tells us was loosely based on “A Streetcar Named Desire.” It was a play he wrote when he had given up on playwriting, never expecting that “Stunning” would be produced, viewing it in fact as unproduceable. “It was a suicide note — my one last missive to humanity before hurtling myself like Anna Karenina onto the train tracks at McDonald Avenue.” So it makes sense that “Lot Six” ends not in a celebratory theater party for his play, but in a quiet dinner out with his mother and sister, at which his sister recounts an ugly family funeral that Adjmi did not attend. The reaction to the play, and the discoveries he made as a result – “I’d summoned the very past I’d wanted to annihilate” – are among what feel like the new lessons in “Lot Six” about the theater of today. And they are stunning.

Book Review: Lot Six: A Memoir Of Gay, Yeshiva-Tortured Syrian Jewish Playwright David Adjmi Playwright David Adjmi’s delightful new book Lot Six: A Memoir (Harper Collins, 388 pages) is the most entertaining theater memoir I’ve read since

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dorothydelgadillo · 6 years

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Writing Tips From Journalism, Aristotle, & of Course, Childish Gambino

Real-life mad man, Howard Gossage is quoted saying, “people don’t read advertising, they read what interests them. Sometimes, it’s an ad.”

I think the Socrates of San Francisco was being a bit generous — it’s usually not an ad.

Then again, Gossage wasn’t fighting for the attention of consumers with ad blockers, instant notifications, and millions of terabytes of media at their fingertips.

However, in the era of branded content and inbound marketing, his point is more prophetic than ever.

When we write copy, we aren’t competing with other copy — we are competing with our persona’s favorite publications, television shows, social feeds, movies, and music.

We are competing with everything they would rather consume than what we just wrote to promote our businesses.

Now, I know you’ve heard this before. You get it. There is more content than ever and we need to write better copy if we want to stand out -- but we are failing, marketers.

Most content kinda sucks -- and it’s a shame.

Because when done right, content marketing can spur incredible business growth.

4 Non-Marketing Sources of Inspiration

I want to acknowledge that there is a ton of great marketing-specific content advice out there.

IMPACT’s very own Marcus Sheridan wrote a book called “They Ask, You Answer” that is one of my favorites and I highly recommend content guru Ann Handley’s “Everybody Writes” (See her at IMPACT live 18’).

Lessons from the golden age of copywriting also remain relevant.

The classic formula “create the problem, agitate the problem, and solve the problem” isn’t going out of style (I’m using it for this post) and you should always kill feature-heavy copy to highlight benefits.

But those two paragraphs are the last in this post that will mention advice specific to marketing or advertising.

Great copywriting can and should draw inspiration from divergent sources.

I firmly believe if we want to create business-changing content, we need to take a hard look at what our personas are consuming instead of our blogs, social posts, and landing pages.

These are 4 non-marketing forms of media that helped me learn to write better copy.

1. Journalism

In his hallmark writing how-to “On Writing Well,” William Zinsser wrote, “The most important sentence in any article is the first one. If it doesn’t induce the reader to proceed to the second sentence, your article is dead.”

Readers Follow the Lede

Long before the goldfish attention spans of today’s web readers, journalists understood an article lives or dies with the lead (or “lede” if you want to be old-timey).

A lead is the first 20 or 25 words of any article and how journalists hook their audience.

Leads can be as simple as a straight news lead that provides the reader a summary of all the most important facts.

This is commonly done for breaking news, like this example from today’s New York Times:

“A California man suspected of accessing and defacing numerous military, government and business websites, including that of West Point’s Combating Terrorism Center and the New York City Comptroller’s Office, was arrested Thursday on computer fraud charges.”

Although, in feature stories or non-hard news, journalists often employ other types of leads that may inspire you to write better introductions.

One such type is an anecdotal lead that uses narrative to draw you in.

Here’s a narrative lead from a 2006 pulitzer prize winning article written by Andrea Elliot in the New York Times:

“The young Egyptian professional could pass for any New York bachelor.

Dressed in a crisp polo shirt and swathed in cologne, he races his Nissan Maxima through the rain-slicked streets of Manhattan, late for a date with a tall brunette. At red lights, he fusses with his hair.

What sets the bachelor apart from other young men on the make is the chaperone sitting next to him — a tall, bearded man in a white robe and stiff embroidered hat.”

What makes this lead so strong is that it introduces the main tension of the story, that this young Egyptian bachelor must reconcile modern dating rituals with those of his traditional beliefs, without explicitly telling you all the summary facts.

It draws you in. You can’t help but want to keep reading.

When you’re writing meta descriptions, think of leads. What are the 300 characters you can write that will leave your audience with no choice but to click for more?

For some of your content, particularly educational content, that may mean the straight facts. Other content may be better teased with tension-filled narrative arcs.

Avoid Cliches & Jargon

Now, before any journalists call me out, I know my lead for this post is the much-maligned quote — but I like to think all rules are made to be broken.

If there is anything else editors hate, it’s cliches. Avoid them like the plague (yes, I did that on purpose).

In marketing, think ____ is dead, or ____ is king. No one really believes SEO is dead anymore and we get that content is king.

Also, eliminate all jargon.

We may say things like leverage, ten thousand foot view, and thought leader to each other, but our audience doesn’t. All jargon does is alienate them and demonstrate what a hard time we have talking like humans about our profession.

Don’t Ask “Yes or No” Questions

Another truism from journalists that may help sharpen your writing is Betteridge’s law.

Betteridge’s law states that any headline that asks a question can probably be answered no. It is designed to bring attention to the fact that if a journalist is using a question, it probably means they are trying to over sell what is in fact a pretty dull payoff.

If you were breaking the story that cancer has been cured, you wouldn’t write, “Have we found the cure for cancer?” You would simply write, “Cancer cured.”

Keep Betteridge’s law in mind when you are writing headlines or page titles. Otherwise, you risk alienating your audience with clickbait that only lets them know they shouldn’t click again.

The Inverted Pyramid

And last, but not least, always remember the inverted pyramid.

Relevant for almost all media writing, the inverted pyramid states that the most important information in any article comes first, followed by gradually less important information throughout the story.

Don’t bury your lead or the most interesting thing about your content. Journalists are hard wired to use the inverted pyramid to give their stories structure and ensure that even if someone doesn’t make it to the end, they’ve gotten all that really matters.

The same should be true of your marketing content.

Think about that the next time you are writing a web page. If 50% of your users aren’t scrolling past the fold, is your hero copy communicating all that they really need to know?

2. Fiction

If we want our marketing content to resonate, it needs to tell a story.

An actual story. Something that moves from A to B to C to D, that has internal or external conflict, tension, closure, or hell, even a lack of closure.

To tell better stories, we need to recognize when one is right in front of us. For that, I will defer to master sci-fi author, Kurt Vonnegut (“Slaughterhouse five” is his most known work).

During his anthropology graduate studies at the University of Chicago, Vonnegut noticed that the Bible’s New Testament and the enduring folk tale Cinderella followed nearly the same shape.

He posited that the “shapes” of the stories a culture holds most valuable reveal things about that culture, and submitted his findings for his master’s thesis.

While his professors rejected the thesis (because “it was so simple and looked like too much fun”), Vonnegut considered the shapes his “prettiest contribution to culture.”

I’ll let him explain:

Credit: Maya Eilam

These story shapes are everywhere.

Almost every episode of every sitcom uses “man in a hole.” Our favorite lovable cast of weirdos gets into a pickle, then they get out of it.

I would argue that the classic copywriting formula “create the problem...” is just the “man in a hole” story shape.

Rom-coms are always the “boy meets girl” shape — star-crossed lovers find each other, then lose each other, but luckily love’s eternal power always conquers all in the last five minutes.

Forget Cinderella — “Rocky,” “The Karate Kid,” and most sports movies always steal her shape.

Think about how you structure your marketing and sales stories.

Is it like this?

This is the way things are, now let me tell you why they will be a million times better.

We only tell our audience why our product or service is the greatest thing that anybody has ever conceived with no tension or conflict, but this doesn’t make your message persuasive -- it makes it sound like BS.

We cannot be afraid to introduce points of tension and conflict into our content.

People love stories because they love struggles that mirror their own. Human existence is a binary struggle between the way things are and the way we want them to be.

Effective copy can and should mirror this.

Or as I’ve heard Marcus Sheridan say (and I’m paraphrasing), “your content shouldn’t be just about the good, but also the bad and the ugly.”

Say the ugly that your competition is too scared to.

Explain who shouldn’t buy your product or service.

It takes guts, but you’ll wind up with better leads, more satisfied customers, and less churn.

3. Speechwriting

Aristotle taught his students that if they wanted to persuade an audience, they had to use three rhetorical appeals.

Logos or logical appeals. These are supporting details and facts that bolster your point or argument (i.e. social proof, references, etc.). When I share all the ways Vonnegut’s story shapes work in popular media, I am making a logical appeal to convince you that you should try it with your content.

Ethos or ethical appeals. These speak to your credibility to deliver that message. Extrinsic ethical appeals speak to your experience — I’ve driven results for clients with copywriting, so I feel credible to write about it. Intrinsic appeals are how well you deliver your message — if you think my writing sucks, you aren’t going to trust any of my writing advice.

Pathos or pathetic appeals. This is very different from our interpretation of the word pathetic. These appeals speak to the emotions of the audience. I started this article strongly implying that your content may suck to appeal to your emotions of fear, “am I leaving money on the table because I’m not communicating my message well?” Instead, I may have actually appealed to your emotion of hate, “will this pompous marketer get off his high horse,” If so, thank you for hate-reading this long.

The world’s best speakers intrinsically use these appeals to hold attention, earn trust, and ultimately, inspire action.

Hours after Martin Luther King Jr. was shot and killed, Robert Kennedy stood on the bed of a pickup truck in Indianapolis to announce the news to a predominately African American crowd.

Despite concerns from campaign advisors about his safety, he delivered an improvised speech that is widely considered to be one of the most poignant addresses of modern politics.

This speech has taught me more about copywriting and rhetorical appeals than any other. I will resist the urge to go line-by-line but share select passages that highlight Aristotle’s appeals.

Logos

“For those of you who are black — considering the evidence there evidently is that there were white people who were responsible — you can be filled with bitterness, with hatred, and a desire for revenge. We can move in that direction as a country, in great polarization — black people amongst black, white people amongst white, filled with hatred toward one another. Or we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, and to replace that violence, that stain of bloodshed that has spread across our land, with an effort to understand with compassion and love.”

RFK is making a logical appeal. MLK stood for peace and nonviolence — to respond as a country to his violent end with violence is to betray the compassion and love he preached.

Ethos

“For those of you who are black and are tempted to be filled with hatred and distrust at the injustice of such an act, against all white people, I can only say that I feel in my own heart the same kind of feeling. I had a member of my family killed, but he was killed by a white man. But we have to make an effort in the United States, we have to make an effort to understand, to go beyond these rather difficult times.”

To show the audience he understands their pain, Kennedy evokes the loss he felt when his brother John was killed by an assassin's bullet. His call “to go beyond these rather difficult times” doesn’t ring hollow because he too has struggled to move beyond deep despair.

Pathos

"My favorite poet was Aeschylus. He wrote: 'In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.'"

While nearly every line of RFK’s speech has an emotional appeal, it’s hard for anyone reading this beautiful passage not to feel universal human truths and emotions. We all try to forget pain, that one day, against our will, becomes perspective.

Kennedy is not merely using rhetorical appeals, but also rhetorical devices. These tools, developed by Greek masters of persuasion, are tried and true messaging techniques.

We are all familiar with metaphors -- Abraham Lincoln once said a political adversary, "dived down deeper into the sea of knowledge and come up drier than any other man he knew.” -- But there are many other devices that you may or may not be familiar with that can level up your copywriting.

To keep it in the Kennedy family, JFK loved rhetorical devices. Think "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." This is called antimetabole, and it’s a reversal of repeated words or phrases for effect.

Another, “let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate” -- This is called chiasmus and it’s a repetition of words and phrases in reverse order for effect.

If you want to try rhetorical devices to be more persuasive in your copywriting, here’s a list of 50.

4. Songwriting

There are few forms of art or media that evoke as visceral a reaction as music.

Songs that mean something to us stick to our souls. They become defining parts of who we are.

How many times do you hear a song and almost feel like you’ve stepped in a time machine to the first time that song meant something to you?

Because the experience is so personal, it is also wildly subjective from one person to the next.

A skilled songwriter creates this thing that is very personal to them and then releases it into the world to be interpreted.

Sort of like what we do as marketers, right? While everything filters through the lens of a brand’s needs and objectives, there are bits of us in all the creative and strategy we do, but I think, as marketers, we can learn a lot from how songwriters are able to create very personal works of art that somehow become universal.

When writing marketing and advertising copy, it’s so easy to try to create something universal.

No matter how much we keep our personas in mind, I think we all fight a voice in our heads that wants the copy or content to work for everyone. We don’t want to alienate anyone.

Great songwriters, however, understand all they can share is the truth of the story in their head and the more personal and specific they are, the more it gets at fundamental human truths.

As of writing this article, less than a week after it was released, the video for Childish Gambino’s “This is America” has 75 million views.

A still from Childish Gambino's "This is America" music video. (source)

For the sake of simplicity, the song basically has an A and a B part.

The A part is upbeat, has lots of melody, and jubilant singing buoyed by a choir of voices. The instrumentation includes gentle guitar, a danceable drum loop, and percussion.

The B part is dark and uncomfortable. There is no longer singing but Gambino now rapping with ad-libbed voices stabbing in rough vocalizations.

The instrumentation becomes something in the vein of southern trap hip-hop. There is bassy synths and the drum loop adds sub-divided hi-hats (they stay in the A part after the first B part).

Lyrically, the song is sparse.

The A parts are pretty much “We just wanna party, party just for you, we just want the money, money just for you (yeah)” or Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody, you go tell somebody, Grandma told me, get your money, black man (get your money).”

The B parts are always “This is America, don’t catch you slippin’ up” repeated before simple phrases like “look how I'm geekin' out (hey), I'm so fitted (I'm so fitted, woo), I'm on Gucci (I'm on Gucci), I'm so pretty (yeah, yeah).

There isn’t much to it, right? Relatively simple lyrics over only 2 alternating musical themes --so why does the video have 75 million views?

Why is it seemingly the biggest pop culture moment that has happened in recent memory? Why is every news outlet and publisher trying to interpret, analyze, and discuss its significance?

The answer lies with Ernest Hemingway, who called his style of writing “the Iceberg theory.”

It’s a minimalist style that focuses on surface elements without explicitly discussing underlying themes. He believed the deeper meaning of a story (in this case, a song) should hide under the surface (like most of an iceberg), but be implicitly understood.

There is an adage in copywriting, that much like Hemingway’s 6 word story on a napkin, probably never happened, but persists because it contains an important lesson.

Legend says that famous ad tycoon David Ogilvy was walking down the street when he saw a homeless man with the sign, “I am blind, please help.”

He didn’t give him money, but rewrote the sign. When he walked by later, the man’s cup was overflowing. The sign now read, “It is spring, and I am blind.”

By adding “it is spring” Ogilvy gave everyone walking by the opportunity to attach their own connotations, experiences, and stories about spring to the sign.

That is what Gambino did.

Childish Gambino’s song has 75 million views because the imagery in the video and his SNL performance show a glimpse of what is under the iceberg of those simple A and B parts.

A still from Childish Gambino's "This is America" music video. (source)

The parts are suddenly exposed as a pointed narrative about his experiences as an African American. The juxtaposed sections take on entirely new meaning as a critique of the dissonance between the perception and reality of his experiences, and how pop culture distracts us from turmoil.

He is communicating a very specific and personal truth with “This is America,” but its simplicity leaves enough below the iceberg’s surface for everyone to bring their individual perceptions of our country’s current political turmoil to their experience with the song.

It’s an uncomfortable, but profound song and video that speaks to a very universal discomfort happening in America right now.

Excuse the Cliche, But: Think Outside-of-the-Box

Don’t write generic marketing copy and content.

The next time you write copy, ask yourself, “is this an ad, or is it interesting?”

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/writing-tips-from-journalism-aristotle-childish-gambino

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