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#Nattering into the void
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When I say it is more effective to pray for someone than bludgeon them over the head with you are wrong what I mean is this:
Almost my entire life - perhaps not during my very early childhood, I don't remember; there was a catastrophe when I was twelve that changed everything - my mother has been in rebellion against God, if not full-on apostasy.
I grew up listening to her rail and scream at God, accuse Him. Listened to her say that she knew better than He did. Accuse Him of creating evil and being a cruel God. Just - all sorts of things. I remember perhaps twice that she ever apologized for anything when I was growing up, and one of those was with a caveat. She simply did not believe she was wrong about anything, ever.
Both of my sisters have told her to her face "You are not a Christian" and cut her off entirely. When I say that I am the only person left in the world who will speak with my mother outside of a business setting, I am not exaggerating in the slightest. (Save, perhaps, with the exception of my eldest son, who likes her visits quite a bit.)
I did not bite my tongue at all as a teenager. Since I have been an adult, most of my relationship with my mother has been biting my tongue. She is one of those people whom one wrong word will set off a chain reaction that there's no coming back from. So I stayed beside her and I bit my tongue and I prayed.
I prayed. I commended her into God's hands and acknowledged her glaringly obvious faults to Him and I prayed, I prayed for her. I pray for her now. Constantly, unceasingly, every minute I am awake, supplication for her, worded or wordless.
Y'all.
Another catastrophe has arisen. Any day now, she will be homeless, carless, old and feeble and struggling just to survive. And yet.
Of late, I stopped biting my tongue as much. I started urging her to pray. I know you don't feel like you can, I know you feel dirty, I know you're still in rebellion and feel abandoned. You need to pray. You need to pray. Just start. However. Just start praying. You need to pray.
She started praying. She spent days praying. She started reading her Bible and her devotionals. She told me she spent hours on the floor praying and sobbing until she felt empty.
She's begun filling up again. She's begun admitting culpabilities that I never thought to hear from her: culpabilities that I had long recognized and thought and disapproved of, but knew it would be worthless to say so. She admits them freely and openly. She has gone from permanent vituperation to peace. She has given up sins she has held close since before I was born.
She told me, today, about the devotional: the passage on the Good Shepherd leaving the 99 and going after the 1. And how, when He returned, He bid all His friends come and rejoice with Him.
Oh, I have been rejoicing. I have been rejoicing over her for these past couple weeks.
She is still terrified, and depressed. What is looming is terrible indeed. Neither of us is at all certain that she will survive until this time next year, but if she does not, I will have no fear: I will see her again, one day. I am certain of it.
So when I say it is better to pray for those who are astray than to belabor them with accusative "You are not a Christian", I mean it.
(And personally I think that someone with an unclear understanding of Jesus but who still acknowledges Him as the Way the Truth and the Life, is probably 'closer' to being a 'real Christian' than someone in full rebellion. But maybe that's just me.)
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pilferingapples · 2 years
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you can really tell people aren’t From Tumblr when they’re blacking out the vowels on curse words in screencaps, huh 
people who live here Know: tumblr doesn’t care if you swear. Tumblr doesn’t care if you threaten comedic violence. Tumblr doesn’t delete posts or blogs for obscenity. Tumblr deletes posts and blogs for bizarre failed coding reasons that no one, least of all tumblr, understands.
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novinare · 2 months
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For Rosie! Why did you chose her as a muse? What initiallydrew you to her at first?
// I mean, Rosie is amazing, do I need another reason? 😂
Honestly though, the first thing that caught my attention was her whole style. The Edwardian clothes, and the adorable white flapper hair, and of course those amazing black eyes.
So stylistically, I knew she was a character I wanted to write, but since we didn't know much about her at the time (this is before her episode came out!) I was able to push aside the desire to write her.
And then I watched her episode, and all that effort went out the window, because she was absolutely awesome.
I admit, I didn't expect her to have a Yiddish accent, but that was just one more fascinating bit of her history that I got to explore. Why does a girl that was born in Hell, but still a Sinner demon, have that voice? Where is she from, and how did she get there?
Well, once I start thinking about headcanons and character history, that's usually a sign that I've succumbed to the temptation to write them! (I have quite a few for Rosie that I've been much too lazy to actually write down!)
Not every character that seems like they'll be fun works out, but Rosie definitely has and I love her!
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ase-trollplays · 1 year
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I'm crazy bored and craving interaction, but none of my little bitches have ideas for an open. X_X
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tisiphonewolfe · 3 months
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Where do you live in The Tectomancy Saga?
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Pick what sounds nicest from the options below to find out which major settlement you live in from the world of The Tectomancy Saga!
Locations and descriptions unveiled below the cut!
1. Leirsham
You live in the ringed city of Leirsham, the human capital. It's built into a hilly island, raised out of Lake Simul a millenia ago by King Artol Tectus. The city falls in tiers, rings around the island divided by walls; The docks and storehouses; the merchants' district; the residential area; the academics district; the upper city, and the palace. As a hub of human trade and travel across the gigantic lake, it's always bustling!
2. The Genom University
The Genomic people take 'university city' very seriously. The entire city is a university filled with lecture halls and libraries and laboratories, where Genemos study hoping to attain their people's divine magic through rigorous scientific research. Its central feature is the archive, a library where all of Genomic history is stored - through the power of conjuration, this is quite literal. It is said that entire historic buildings can be summoned from the archive.
3. Ipurrol
Ipurrol lies in Versewelt, near the edge of the world. It was cut off from the rest of human civilisation 400 years ago, when a plague swept the land, turning its victims into various forms of bloodthirsty ghoul. Those who remain have learned to live with their condition and keep living on, rebuilding their community together. The Vismoores are the local nobles, who live alone in the castle that looms over the village - even among oddities, those two are odd.
4. Athyran
You live in the Alvian city of Athyran. On its surface, surrounded by desert, its grand architecture dazzles tourists, and baffles them by appearing to be abandoned; most of the city resides below the surface in cool caves, hidden by an illusion. The buildings extend below the earth, making it a forest of towers among glowing formations of crystals. Their cuisine is quite mushroom-heavy. This city represents the centre of the 'pattern' which Alvians bury their dead in across their lands.
5. North's Edge
North of human lands, in arctic tundra, wintery wastes, and snow-covered rocky mountains, the Droichs live in peaceful alliance with Dragons. The Dragons fled from humanity, their former allies, 900 years ago, and formed a partnership with Droichs. The Droichs mine to maintain the dragon's scales and hides with metal and stone; the Dragons serve as defence and transportation for the Droichs. They make their home nestled into a cave-pocked ravine, where Dragons and their Droichish riders gather around the fire together.
6. Hell
The Demonic city of Hell is far below the suface, near the very axis of the world. Its sloping side is marred with holes like a honeycomb, through which the swirling blue mists of the edge of the world creep. Lit by glowing plants and lava flows, the city is built into the rock like a warren, with only gothic spires and roofs peeking out above the ground. Due to the Demonic magic of enchantment, you have to be very careful who you talk to and what you say. Demons though, have this down to a fine art, and natter endlessly to each other.
7. The Hollow
Formally 'Colossus' Hollow', because it looks like a giant kicked a huge hole in a hill and people built a city there. Sat on the border between human lands and Alvian ones, and with a clear view to the Arboric Ocean, just about anyone and everyone could turn up there. With nobody quite able to lay a claim to its leadership, it is more-or-less ruled by an organised crime gang known as 'The Robes'. Their own operations take place in other cities, but their rules for everyone else just say "If you fuck this place up for everyone else, we're coming for your head."
8. Gorzlun Kudh
One of the largest Orken communities; its name means 'Risen City'. Made almost entirely of drenchwood, a form of moisture-resistant wood, it rises out of a great swamp on thick stilts. It is home to the Oracles, wizened Orken elders who have practised the art of future-sight for centuries. It is also home to the battle-mothers, and their endless raiding gangs of battle-sisters. Most older Orkus remember a time when it was not like this. They farmed, they relaxed, they made things with their hands, and they helped their neighbours. Maybe one day it'll be like that again.
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kookaburra1701 · 10 months
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Writerly Thumbprint Challenge~
Rules: look back on your work, both past and present, finished and unfinished. what are five (or more!) narrative elements, themes, topics or tropes that continuously pop up in your work?
Tagged by @thana-topsy ❤️❤️❤️
For all of the nattering I do at my friends about my fics, I really had to think about this, (unless I just wanted it to be a list of all my favorite fanfic tropes.)
(Which I kind of do so they will come rapid-fire at the end hehehehe)
Crisis of Faith - At some point, at least one of my characters will have to question everything they've been taught or thought about the Way the Universe Works. This may be a crisis of actual religious faith, or in the way they view abstract concepts like Truth or Justice, or in the way they view some institution or authority figure. Unlike some of the themes that follow, I know exactly where this one comes from. See, I grew up in a very fundamentalist house hold. Like speaking in tongues, the earth is 5000 years old, and having an erotic dream is just as sinful as sex type of fundamentalist house hold. I even went to a religious college and learned some Latin and Greek to try to figure out which Christian denomination was The One True Church. I graduated from that religious college with straight As in all my theology/religion courses and new found atheism. So, crises of faith and deconversion arcs are very compelling to me, but I really love exploring what a deconversion/reaffirmation of faith means in the context of worlds where there is incontrovertible evidence that the gods/divine/supernatural do actually exist. I suppose it's a little bit of wish fulfillment - sometimes it would be nice to have the comfort of religion again, but that's a bell that can't be un-rung, at least for me. Tropes that come out of this that I loooooooove: -baptism imagery -oracles/prophecy -martyrdom -pretty men tied up and tortured (I'm not sure whether going to church and being SURROUNDED by the kinkinest goddamn fetish art of various saints dying horribly changed my brain chemistry or whether my brain was always That Way and the visuals just made it bearable but either way.)
The Universe Doesn't Give a Shit About You, but I do - this is the second part of the Crisis of Faith. The Protagonist has realized that searching for meaning outside of themselves is pointless, and that in the face of an implacable, uncaring void the only way to find meaning is within oneself and in the connections forged with fellow beings.
The Crucible - I love angst. I...honestly cannot think of a time that I wanted to do something horrible to a character and toned it down before publishing a fic. But I really want it to have a point - I want my characters to go through hell and back, to be completely destroyed, remade, but also to come out the other side changed when they shed all the extraneous things and discover what their essential inner essence is.
Hidden Depths - in this case I'm not referring to the main protagonist discovering their inner strength; to me that is part and parcel of The Crucible. What I just eat up with a spoon and love writing is secondary characters, minor characters, and especially antagonists revealing some of their inner world and it surprising the hell out of everyone. The taciturn swordsman turns out to actually be really good at sewing. The logical scholar loves romance, etc. It can be hard to not have this end up being a deus ex machina crutch to resolve corners I've written myself into, but some of the best times of my life have been when I've discovered something I didn't know about someone I've known for years and they bust it out just when we need it (usually final jeopardy round at pub trivia) I want my protagonist to suddenly see every previous interaction with that person in a new light because they've now glimpsed the Hidden Deep.
Cleansing, or in other (Greek) words Catharsis - Someone somewhere is going to end up in a bathtub. Getting scrubbed. Usually this physical vulnerability will mirror the emotional vulnerability between the scrubber and the scrub-ee. It's also a really fun place for smut.
Sanctuary - in real life, after we've gone through the Crucible to achieve our Catharsis we rarely get a chance to breathe. The activities of daily living still require our attention: pets must be fed, jobs must be reported to, taxes must be paid. But something that almost always happens in my stories after the big resolution is that circumstances contrive to give my characters a physical place where they do not have to worry about keeping themselves fed or housed while tying up loose ends. They've ended up in a secure environment separated from the rest of the world. They always end up having to leave this place, and do so willingly, but the time they spend in it gives them space to come to terms with the events that came before, and plan out their next steps, without the pressures of the outside world. This has taken the form of a temple, a spaceship, and a giant tree in various fics. And then, of course, there's this that might as well be a personal attack:
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I tag @gilgamish @moriche
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sumiblue · 8 months
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(pictured: HE <3)
I bought a little aloe plant today.
Every place we lived in when I was growing up had aloe plants, so it seemed a natural and easy choice for my first houseplant in my first flat. The plant display in the Co-Op is right next to the door, so I picked it up, chunky green arms trailing over the pot, and placed it in my basket, carrying it with me while I got my other lumpy, hefty items. Do you see what Problems May Arise from this course of action. Me too, but I did it anyway because I was simply too nervous to do the unthinkable; shattering checkout line normalcy to go, “Oh, one moment” and dashing to get it then. My timidness cost my juicy friend a couple of his limbs, but he’s home now, on my rather bare bookshelf, green and alive. I love him to bits (...of aloe in my shopping bag) and he’s only been here for 10 hours. I keep going over to his corner, introducing him to his new environment and telling him how lovely he his. So far it had been amusing to verbally greet my living room furniture every morning, but it’s a different delight to now natter on about any and everything to this living being who might be hearing me. It scratches that itch to use one’s voice for connection. I have to keep reminding myself, though, that he’s not a new interlocutor, and my search for fulfilling connections should continue.
Loneliness, like aloe plants, has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, though living on my own for the past 3 months has definitely given it a different texture. Not worse, not better, just different. It’s probably due to an amalgamation of a few things. Moving across the Atlantic. The accumulated lessons learned and experiences from 30 years of being alive. Probably not the multi-year worldwide health emergency though...Oh wait.
I imagine most of us have seen article after article about how extended self-isolation during the pandemic has shone a light on how lonely a lot of us are, if it hadn’t caused it in itself. My mum shared an article with me this week, which talks about the fact that, for the very lonely, the solution may not be finding company with other people.
Loneliness isn't just about not being around people. It's been said numerous times that the pandemic and lockdown gave many of us the chance to really examine our relationships. We were forced to be still and listen to ourselves for once, and became more aware of what we were (or weren't) getting out of the socializing we habitually engaged in. I think, in many cases, we realized that while we had company, we weren’t experiencing connection. We started to crave it deeply, and were stymied in our attempts to fill that void because oops, outside could kill you. However, going out to find connections isn’t the solution for everyone, like the article says. Maybe in your stillness you discovered that spending time alone was precisely what you needed, and you started learning how to connect with your Self. Filling your own void. Self-love is healthy! We each have to figure out what fills that gap for our individual puzzles, whether it's solitude, company, a different type of company, etc.
I wonder also if this massive awareness of our own loneliness is sometimes misconstrued with the feeling of grief. Change leads to loss, and if we’ve experienced changing perceptions of our relationships, our selves and our social fulfilment needs, we’re bound to be thrown into a turbulent twisting uncomfortable storm of emotions. And here we’re back to sitting in self reflection innit, asking ourselves, is the name for this storm loneliness? Grief? Both? I don’t think they’re entirely separate, but it may help to identify where you are so you can figure out where to go.
Personally, I do think that my puzzle piece is painted with other people, particularly with shiny deeper connections. Having been isolated for a few years, I’ve found I do need that external input from even light interaction to remember that I am not uniquely horrible but am in fact, in a human general sense, pretty okay! I feel it in the shared frustration with the pensioners at the bus stop because the big blue bastard (affectionate) is 20 minutes late again. I feel it when the cashier wags their finger at me and says “Silly little girl, you must have confused this Appleton’s Rum for apple juice. ID please and thank you.”* In these brief little moments, I get reminded that people Exist. We just Are. We are all complicated and flawed and still wonderful. Not gonna lie though, finding and making those rare closer connections would be fucking fantastic. People around whom I can feel like I’m not the Only One. Unmask with me baybee.
But as a very temporary stop-gap measure, my darling precious aloe boy suits me fine.
*An exaggeration but it fuckin’ felt like this
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thesumofallmyfears · 9 months
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I don't know about shouting into the void, I just sit here nattering away to my self.
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tinysuccesses · 2 years
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*furious dusting*
well hell. that last post aged like milk. so corona took over the world and everything went to hell and uhhhhh yeah. but we're gonna. we're gonna try again. i just had my health check last tuesday, and i'm 81 kg now. which uh. is worse. but hey.
getting inspired by that hybrid calisthenics guy, and yanno... imma try it. i did the first workout today with the wall pushups and knee raises. knee raises are... difficult, even on the easy mode, ahaha. but i did it! i finished both exercises on the big set numbers even! so hey that's a success.
gonna keep track. because maybe nattering about it into the void will keep me going.
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marquezbergmann2 · 2 years
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kaspersenduggan05 · 2 years
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My mother took an Uber down yesterday to bring me some stuff to hang onto for her and one of the things she brought was a book called Praying the Names of God and she mentioned that she'd been reading it but that it didn't feel particularly relevant right now and all I can think is HAGAR HAGAR HAGAR slave-woman Hagar whose mistress's husband got a child off her, Hagar unrighteously abandoned and forsaken and cast out, Hagar, who called on God and called Him her God, Hagar who named God...
This morning, reading the last chapter of Ruth, and the elders of Bethlehem blessing her and Boaz and saying may she be like Tamar who bore a son unto Judah (Tamar, unrighteously forsaken and abandoned and persecuted, clever Tamar, righteous Tamar, blessed Tamar, Tamar who had God with her when all men abandoned and used her) and Rachel and Leah (mothers of the nation of Israel) and something about the nearer kinsman (who does not even merit a name) rejecting the Moabitess to keep his own inheritance intact and something about how the Moabitess was the grandmother of David and something about how Boaz immediately went to wed the Moabitess and how God is with even the least of His daughters, the ones the Judahs and near kinsmen and Jacobs and Abrahams of the world see as lesser...
I don't know. Just incoherent foaming at the mouth today.
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sc52 · 8 months
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So many different frames of reference to view this from. A couple I can give off the top of my head.
From a nsfw (Tumblr) frame of view, the majority of people keep starting convos or keep nattering only to take any and every chance to turn the convo sexual and even with hints, if it keeps happening, I'm gonna ghost you. Downside of havin mostly a nsfw Tumblr I guess.
From "being that guy" view, quite a lot of times, whatever void your relationship ends up filling, you'll be cut as soon as they find someone more appropriate & offers more, which is a natural and good thing!, but also reframes the entire relationship and every interaction. (Side note: it's fucking hilarious when they start chatting literally the day they get dumped or ended it themselves).
In either case, you as an entire person, is not wanted, only the part that fills that specific void for them. They'll do the bare minimum that convinces you to keep going.
So that's why people stop talking cos they eventually figured out you don't care.
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pilferingapples · 4 years
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I want. Jewel tones. I want vivid colors and really loud patterns and dramatic amounts of fabric and furniture that is built to look like stylized insects. I want some damn inessential beauty and vividness and I want it available the way oatmeal-and-black boxes and shirts in an exciting array of soul-killing neutrals are available now, I am going to absolutely lose my calm if I see one more Study In White and Beige or one more boxy set of shelves but now with Extra Boxy being shilled as Charming or Avant Garde, absolute chromatic cowardice working out here and I am going to explode an entire paint supply store of spray cans on it
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Bruh I’m accepting the “Jane was replaced” theory because nothing else makes sense, and also... remember the Snapchat upd8s with her transporter being hacked and her being sent into somewhere unknown? And Roxy and Callie were gonna save her and yet?? Nothing came out of it???
That series of Snapshots was bizarre. Like, I actually don’t consider it canon at this point because it was never picked up after Jane got into the oven and punched into next week. (We assume) (Also the felt was still on the moon when it got pissed on blown up by Eggman the Carapacians so they’re probably dead.) Although there are still weird things in the snapshots like Jane putting Jack on a leash for some reason femdom fetish stuff i guess which is WILDLY OOC and i have no idea why she’d do that in the first place. Maybe that was foreshadowing for how she’ll be written in the Epilogue. 
For my theory I think Jane either had to be replaced sometime after she found the “Down with the Bucktooth Hornless” banner Seriously what was the DEAL with that and the following snapchats. It’s not perfect since it still had that weird thing with Jack that she wouldn’t do and I don’t care WHAT hussie tries to tell me it’snotfuckingcanon, but hey! Better than nothing. 
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gorgeousgalatea · 4 years
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I am not great at fantheories but I would just like to point out that Penny Polendina--Remnant's first being capable of generating a synthetic Aura, who presents herself as an adorable young girl, who has said she's expected to save the world when she's ready--is two for two on proximity to Maidens in bad condition. And Atlas has an Aura siphon.
I have wanted artificial Maiden Penny since v3 okay
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