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jenanigans1207 · 1 year

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Good evening. Today I am feral with the need to introduce you to my OCs. You don’t understand the unrelenting desire I have to share them with you. I love them so much and I want so desperately for someone else to love them, too. So if you are so inclined, please read this scene for them that has me foaming at the mouth.

(Tw: mentions of death (nobody actually dies), mentions of blood (not graphic))

—x

“I swear to god.” Cam huffs, nearly collapsing alongside Cayden as he tries to slowly lower him to the ground. “If you think you can die by someone else’s hand—”

“What are you going to do?” Cayden rasps around a painful, choked off breath as he falls to the ground uncerimoniously— and far more quickly than Cam intended, if his wince of sympathy pain is any indication. “Kill me?”

Cam’s sharp glare is anything but intimidating to Cayden who has gotten that glare more times than he can count in his life. From the first time they met, when his glare really was filled with malice and disinterest, all the way to about ten minutes ago, even to thirty seconds ago— Cayden is a master at parsing that look.

There are subtle nuances to it that indicate what Cam is really feeling. For a long time, Cayden had thought that it was all in the eyebrows. The more furrowed, the sharper the lines of Cam’s eyebrows, the more genuinely angry he was with Cayden. But that wasn’t it— or rather, that wasn’t only it. There were little subtleties in all aspects of the look— the corners of his lips, the shape of his eyes, the set of his jaw— that really told Cayden what he needed to know. In this case, the look was exasperated, fond and worried. Definitely worried. That was the largest emotion that was swimming in Cam’s eyes every time he had looked at Cayden in the last ten minutes.

“I’ll haunt your stupid ass,” Cam remarks instead of addressing anything that he’s currently concerned about.

Not that he really needs to say anything— the gaping wound in Cayden’s side is a pretty big indicator of Cam’s worries. Not to mention the way he can’t put any weight on his left leg without it feeling like it’s going to buckle underneath him. He’d had to be partially dragged by Cam all the way to cover. He’d attempted to limp as much of it as he could but somehow, even when he was making active effort to go as fast as he possibly could, ti was slower than if Cam just dragged him. And really, he’d been so tired that he hadn’t minded the dragging,

“Pretty sure I would be the one doing the haunting.” Cayden tries to ease back against the wall behind him, his side sending sharp jolts of pain through his body that caused him to jump and pause periodically. He tried to breathe through it, doing his best to relax his muscles. It was incredible how much pain made a difference in such simple things. “Living people don’t haunt ghosts, it’s the other way around. So I would haunt your stupid ass.”

Cam doesn’t reach for him immediately but Cayden can tell he wants to. Cam’s hands hover at his side, just a little bit in front of him as if they had started to reach out to him immediately and it had taken Cam a second to notice and stop them.

“I’ll be the first one.” Cam replies, but the downturn of his lips tells Cayden that all the humor has bled out of the situation. Now Cam is just outright worried, somewhere on the verge of panicking, he thinks. “I’ll make history by haunting you in the afterlife.”

Cayden manages one huff of a laugh before the pain spikes again and he’s wincing, taking in a deep breath through his teeth and trying to keep his head on straight, “You’d go that far for me?” He tries to tease because he knows his reaction is only making Cam more anxious and right now they can’t afford for either one of them to lose their cool. “And here I thought you wanted to kill me.”

“Shut up.” Cam whispers as he finally reaches for Cayden and there’s so much tenderness in those two words, so much fond adoration, so much fear that Cayden almost does lose his mind.

Tenderness is something that hasn’t been meant for him in years. Ever since his mom had passed away, he hadn’t had anyone treat him with the same kind of concern and kindness that he saw in Cam’s eyes now.

And that wasn’t strictly true— for awhile now, Cam had been caring for him and trying to tend to him in ways that felt similar to the love his mother had but somehow entirely different. He tried not to look at it too closely sometimes, afraid that he would scare it off if he acknowledged it. Because he was used to a lot of things, but by now he certainly wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to deft but delicate fingers pressing his side, wasn’t used to listening to Cam murmur concerned half-sentences under his breath as he bit the corner of his lip in an attempt to keep whatever darker thoughts he was no doubt having from slipping out. He wasn’t used to being cared for so openly, so honestly.

Because this tenderness— this cut worse than a knife.

Cayden knew that with absolute certainty because he had been cut with a knife before.

This, though— this wasn’t a physical wound. There would be no marks of Cam’s concern marring his skin, no scar he could point to and explain this situation. The cut that Cam gave him with his distress was entirely emotional— it cut much, much deeper than any blade possibly could. It would leave the kind of scar that nobody could see, but Cayden would be able to feel forever. If he ever lost this, if he ever lost Cam—

“If one of us has to die here,” Cayden mumbles as Cam presses a hand over the wound in his side to see if pressure makes any sort of difference. “I’m glad it’s me.”

“Don’t say shit like that,” Cam growls immediately and the pressure on Cayden’s side increases for a moment as Cam’s anger flares. He leans into Cayden, his eyes flashing and for a moment, he looks as lethal as he actually is.

It’s a rare sight for Cayden because Cam is his best friend and he knows only the good sides of Cam. That is to say, he knows Cam for who he really is. It just so happens that who he really is is made up entirely of good sides.

Cayden presses his own hand over Cam’s, the temperature difference between their skin stark and probably alarming if Cayden had the energy to be alarmed. “I’m serious.” He breathes, trying to catch Cam’s gaze but Cam steadfastly refuses to allow it. “Not just because the world would be better off if you were the one to survive, though that’s true, but because I don’t want to see a world without you in it.”

“And you think I want to see a world without you in it?” Cam all but roars, only their dire situation keeping his temper even the tiniest bit in check, preventing him from raising his voice as much as he’d probably like to. His chest heaves as he takes ragged breaths, his shoulders rising and falling with so much effort, Cayden can feel the strain of it. “You think that it’s okay for you to just leave me here? That I would be okay if you— If I lost you?”

The air is cold— or maybe that’s Cayden, he can’t quite tell anymore. But he knows there’s a chill creeping across his skin. Despite it, he can feel the warmth of Cam’s meaning pressing against his heart, nestling into a home between his ribs.

“You’d find a way.” Cayden’s hand slips off of Cam’s, his arm feeling weak. He lets it drop to his side, lets his head fall back against the wall behind him. “To be okay, I mean.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” Cam says with so much sincerity it steals what little breath Cayden had managed to get into his lungs. “I would never be okay, do you hear me? I would never be okay if you died on me here and now. So don’t you even fucking think about it.” Cayden blinks slowly back at him, trying to get his hazy mind to focus. “Cayden, you asshole, do you hear me? You’re not allowed to die right now! You’re not allowed to— I wouldn’t— I couldn’t—“

There’s a pressure on his chest and it takes Cayden a moment to realize that Cam has bowed his head, pressing it against his sternum. His shoulders shake, his hand trembles where it’s pressed to Cayden’s side, Cayden can feel it. He’s so warm, like a personal furnace who is here specifically to fight off the chill that’s threatening to steal all the way across his skin.

And maybe it’s the fact that Cam’s breaths are as ragged as his own, maybe it’s because Cam has been so raw and honest in his words. Maybe it’s because a small part of Cayden is afraid that he actually is dying right now, afraid that any fo these words could truly be his last. He isn’t sure and at the moment, he doesn’t really have the time to make himself sure, all he knows is that he has a truth he has to ay and this very well may be the last chance he ever gets to say it.

“I’m glad I met you.” The world is starting to seem hazy around the edges, the background fading away until it’s only Cam that Cayden can see. “I’m glad you showed up that first day and interfered with my fight. I—“ He takes a shuddering breath and raises a hand to gentle cradle the back of Cam’s head. Cam’s still pressed against him but Cayden knows he’s listening, absolutely rapt. “I didn’t know it then, but I needed you in my life. “

It’s silent for only the length of one, slow heartbeat before Cam pulls away and looks at him, “And, what? You don’t need me anymore so you’re just going to leave me?”

“Cam, you idiot.” Cayden’s arm falls to Cam’s shoulder and he lets it rest there, lets it connect the two of them, a physical representation of their paths that crossed that day. Cayden would’ve never guessed that Cam would matter like this to him some day, that he would be one of the only people Cayden would burn the world to the ground to protect. “I will never stop needing you. I’d spend every goddamn day on this Earth by your side if I could.”

“You can!” Cam cries, throwing his hands up into the air. He pauses for a moment and then settles his palms against Cayden’s cheeks, cupping his face gently. He repeats himself, quietly this time and it’s so much more broken when it’s spoken so softly, so overflowing with fear. “You can. You can fight, you can get through this and then we can spend every goddamn day together. Cayden, you must.”

“I’m so tired of fighting.”

And it’s true— it’s so painfully true, it hurts more than his throbbing leg, more than his bleeding side. He is so tired. He’s been fighting since his mom died— fighting for a place in his dad’s heart, a spot in his own family and then a spot in this world. He’s been fighting Malumbra, he’s been fighting the Dargobiu, he’s been fighting himself. He’s so tired of fighting because he hasn’t been given anything in his life without a fight. Even this, the potential last moments of his life— he had to fight for these, too. He had to fight to make it out of there alive, to even get to this place where he can have this fleeting moment with Cam.

“I know.” Cam’s thumb strokes gently across his cheek and the motion is so soothing that Cayden can’t help but close his eyes. “I know, but you have to keep fighting. You have to do it for me. Please, Cay? Please? For me?”

“That’s not fair.” Cayden coughs once and it rattles his whole frame, His ribs feel like they’re bumping into each other as he does, loose and brittle and just as close to falling apart as the rest of him is. “It’s called a dying with and I’m the one who’s dying. Stop trying to steal my wish.”

“It’s too late.” Cam leans forward again and Cayden can feel Cam��s forehead press against his own. “I already took your wish. If you want it back, you’re going to have to stay alive and come get it from me.”

Cayden laughs. It tries to turn into another cough but he fights it off. “Always playing dirty.”

“You know it.” Cam all but whispers, so close that Cayden can hear him perfectly anyways. “Anything to keep you here with me.”

“Cam—“

“No,” Cam shakes his head and it disturbs the hair falling across Cayden’s forehead, jostles him just enough that he feels momentarily more awake. “You don’t get to say anything else to me unless you’re promising to survive this.”

“What if—“

“I know you don’t ever listen,” Cam cuts him off gently. “But listen now. I won’t hear it unless it’s you promising me that you’ll survive.”

“I can’t make that promise.”

“I can’t hear you.”

“Cam—“

“I can’t hear you!”

They’re silent for a long moment and Cayden fights to blink his eyes back open. Cam is there, barely an inch away, his own eyes closed. He isn’t crying, but Cayden can see how tightly he’s clenching his jaw to fight off the tears or any other unwanted emotions. He knows that he would do anything for Cam, he’s known that for a long time now. And anything, he knows, includes fighting to survive, even when every cell in his body is begging him to give up, to let them rest like they haven’t done in so many years.

He takes in a slow inhale, focuses on really expanding his lungs.

“Fine,” He says, and Cam’s eyes fly open to stare back at him. “I promise, I’ll survive.”

“Really?” Cam sounds breathless as he sits upright.

There’s blood on his hands, blood on both of their shirts and no doubt blood on Cayden’s cheek. He’s aching from head to toe, from his skin all the way down to his bones. There isn’t a single part of him that isn’t protesting his promise but he knows that he can’t give up now, not when Cam is asking him to fight,

“Really.” He nods weakly, “But I’m going to make your life hell when I recover.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Cam agrees with a smile.

#I’m sorry I can’t do a read more cut #I’m on mobile and we all know mobile tumblr sucks #please love my boys though #please talk to me about them #or ask me about them #or give me any reason to scream about them #I want so so so desperately to share them with other people #it would mean more than I can express in words if you read this #they have a story that I want so badly to tell #original writing #original characters #writing #my writing

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