#This is because I'm an (unpaid) professional!

[thedeadtravelfast]

No Context WIP Tag Game

soooooooo flattered @goblins-riddles-or-frocks tagged me for this, it's like Goethe going "hey can I see some of your work?" uhhhh YES FUCK YES????

"This is all...it's so beautiful."

"Of course it is. Do you think I would go through all this effort and not have be beautiful?" He turned and approached me, a bright orange blossom with red-edged petals twirling in his fingers. 

He lifted the flower and carefully wove it in my hair, his fingers gently tugging at the strands. I felt my heart seize, as if he had reached into my breast and squeezed it, and even when he took his hands away it didn't relax. 

"But of course, none of it is as beautiful as you," he said and smiled warmly. 

I struggled to suppress the blushing raging in my cheeks but I could feel it glowing hotly, so instead I turned my face away and pretended to be enraptured by a grafted vine of orchids. 

I could feel Koschei's eyes on me, like a string attached to my every aspect so my every breath and movement had a sense of pulling at him, tempting him. I had never thought myself tempting before; before Koschei wanted me because he wanted everything, not for any particular reason. But now I felt wanted for a reason, for myself, that I in and of myself with all my features and manners and essence was tempting to him. 

It felt like a kind of power, to hold someone--someone like him--captive. I had before never understood what drove the women around him to act as they did, to be so loose and so giving, but now I saw what that kind of action could possibly wrought in a man. It was delicious in an intoxicatingly frighteningly way.

I felt him draw close behind me, too close for me to turn around. I felt his fingers touching the end of my hair, so gently it was as if the wind were breathing on it.

I couldn't breath. I wasn't aware of anything else except his fingers, too close and yet far. It was gripping the flower so tightly in my hands that I saw the blossom shivering. 

Koschei leaned forward and I felt his body hovering just against mine, not pressing but within of breath of doing so. His face was drawn beside my ear and he whispered in it with breath so hot I almost flinched: 

"May I kiss you, tsarina?"

I felt like the strings on an instrument--what sort I couldn't even think of at the moment--wound and wound until I was going to snap. "No," I breathed, I don't even know how I managed it.

"May I know why I am denied?" 

"You know why."

There was a long pause and he leaned so his lips were brushed ever so slightly against my neck. My flesh erupted with an icy flame and I thought I was going to faint; my whole body was sent into mindless, seething wildness that I only barely contained, clasping the stem of the flower so I felt it cracking in my hands.

"I promise if you let me have this one kiss, I won't ask for anything more." His voice was low and rasped, it almost sounded desperate. 

It was the closest to a true request I had ever heard from him. It was the first time I had something he truly wanted but could not wrest from me, something he had to beg me for, something I could withhold. 

But I didn't want to. Or perhaps I did, perhaps that was his power, to make you want to give what he wanted. To make you think you had to give it, that you 'wanted' to give it. 

"I don't believe you," I finally, miraculously, spoke. 

"Is that the only reason, you don't trust me?" His voice was lilting, almost singing, I felt his body rocking almost inperceptively, towards me then away, again and again. I felt the pull, the urge to follow after him, to move to the music that seemed to be thrumming between us, made by us.

It was thrilling yet soothing all once, to be joined with someone in the creating of something so new and strange. It felt secure because it was with him, in unison with his will and his intent and his hope...but all of that also made it terribly, horribly perilous. 

But no. It wasn't him alone that was making this perilous. 

So again I said, "No."

"Why else then?"

'I don't trust myself.'

But I didn't say it, because if I gave it voice, a form, it would overtake me. So I stared at the flower in my hand and focused all my breathlessness and anticipation on it's luscious and tender blossom, imagining I could imbue it with all the heat of that moment and remove it from me. Like Koschei had done with his soul.

For the first time I thought of how 'useful' that could be, to have the ability to take all your weakness and vulnerability and sever it from yourself; to become steady and solid like a stone, untouchable. 

Untouched was the last thing I felt now, even though he hand't laid a hand on me. 

I could still feel his breath on my face, how terrifyingly, temptingly close he was, and I was locked in a terrible, desirous moment where I thought he 'might' touch me and I was certain, as certain as the breath I kept trapped in my lungs, I was about to be either swallowed by the sensation or driven raving mad by it. 

But he pulled away suddenly and I was so overcome that I didn't even have enough presence of mind to be embarrassed by the gasp I gave. The world seemed to abruptly straighten and fall back into its customary place, the warmth and rosiness vanished, and I was frightened by how sorry I was for it.

"It's terribly warm in here," he was saying, staring causally down the path we had come up, his hands clasped behind his back. "There's a place here somewhere where we can cool down."

I already felt colder, but I didn't say that.

His voice was completely causal, but that suddenly seemed shockingly formal after the 'intimacy' of the moment before. If he had spoken to me with complete formality, restraint and distance, it would have made more sense to me. But he walked down the path almost lazily, leaning every now and then to eye a planet or bird that happened to catch his attention. 

How could he do that, be on the verge, the precipice of something so momentous and then walk away as if he has forgotten, as if it were nothing. 

It probably had been nothing, to him; how many times had he gotten exactly what he asked for from moments like these? 

But then again, how could something like that ever grow meaningless, it couldn't divorce itself from the expectancy and that had to come from wanting, and to want is to risk being denied, and how can that not be eternally dreadful and wonderful?

I had denied it and I still felt the rush, the staggering extraordinariness of it, and for it to be satisfied--

I had to stop. I couldn't think about it, about that. It wasn't safe.      

I followed slowly behind him, keeping a wide space between us that I kept expecting him to comment on but he never did. That made it worse, I was certain he understood exactly why, and I was possessed enough of my sense to now be ashamed of what I nearly allowed. And what I was still wishing had happened. 

I wanted to leave this place and get as far away from him as I could manage; I would ask Natalya to set me to work in the kitchen, suffocate this longing with the heat of the oven and scalding of the dishwater, or to ask Peter if he would let me clean the floor of the ballroom, squash this yearning by scrubbing until my hands blistered and my knees ached. 

But of course I couldn't find my way out on my own and I was afraid to speak to him, I did not trust my voice or my words. I kept envisioning myself opening my mouth only to ask him to come back, to kiss me, to touch me, to do whatever he could think of that I could not even imagine.

Oh God, I was going to be sick. Sick with wanting it; from the crave and the dread and the humiliation of it. 

Oh God forgive me, God help me, deliver me, deliver me, deliver me from temptation...

"Here it is!" he exclaimed and I almost cried out I was so startled. "I knew it was around this place somewhere." 

He stepped off the path and through a parting in the foliage. I stood where he had gone in and watched as he entered a small clearing made for a grand fountain of stone. It was carved with a beautiful woman clothed only in a long cloth that clung to her sumptuous figure; her long arms, appearing soft despite being carved of rock, embraced a large vase from which the water sprung. 

He planted his foot on the edge of the fountain ringing the statue and bent to splash water in his face. He ran his dripping hand through his hair, causing his dark curls to tangle and fall carelessly out of place. 

His chest rose and fell in a deep exhale and he unfastened the top buttons of his shirt, rubbing his neck so his skin glistened with water. 

I couldn't see straight, I couldn't see anything but him. The whole world had fallen away and I felt my inhibitions, my wisdom and good sense, slipping after them. I felt like I was falling through some invisible hole with no end and no way to rise again. 

Koschei turned to look at me and even with the distance between us, I saw his eyes, I 'felt' them, more clearly than anything else in that place. 

"Come over, the water is lovely," he said. There was nothing suggested in his voice but I knew, 'I knew I knew I knew', that if I could see his eyes from my place he could see mine and perceive my state. 

I was not so skilled in hiddenness as he, I couldn't even comprehend how anyone could hide what I held within, and he was mature and seasoned in divining and provoking such things.  

"Maryushka," he said and held out his hand, the hand he had run through his hair and across his skin, still dripping with water. 

And I saw in that exact moment, exactly because he spoke my name not as a request but as an affirmation, what would happen next. 

And I dropped the flower, turned away, and ran. 

I didn't get far before I heard him calling after me but now the momentum of the act, of putting my mind and body at work together to flee, gave me newfound strength. So I didn't hesitate but pushed myself faster, the garden whirling by in a dizzying, sickening blur of confused colors. 

Suddenly, Koschei appeared into my path; or perhaps he materialized there with magic, I could not tell. I ran right into his arms, his hands taking hold of my shoulders.

"Where are you going--" he began but was interrupted as I began to struggle violently in his grasp and his fingers tightened, his hold became inextricable. 

I felt panic rearing in me at having 'his hands on me' and sensations it sent spinning through my body. I felt my center beginning to melt; I could see myself falling into his embrace, I could imagine what it would feel like to have his arms drawn around me, pressing me to him, to his body, to his skin--

I so desperately, maddeningly 'wanted it', it was so irrational and frenzied, I couldn't think of a clear reason as to why here, why now. I felt I must be going insane. 

"Let me go!" I cried and to wrench myself away, thrashing violently but I couldn't even pull an inch away from him. 

He was looking down at me, frowning in confusion. "What is this--"

I began to kick at him, striking his shins, and scratching at his arms with my nails. He released me like I was something venomous, his expression one of utter astonishment. 

"Maryushka--!"

"No!" I screamed and screamed it again, lashing at his hands with my arms as if I were fending off a wild beast. I wanted to hit him, I wanted him to disappear, I wanted him erased from my mind. 

He didn't try to stop my blows or avoid them but rather simply stepped away and I didn't try to reach for him or step towards him. 

For a moment we stood like that, apart, him staring and me shaking. I realized I was crying, I couldn't at first tell my gasping for breath apart from my sobs. He kept staring at me with a look of total bewilderment and finally he asked, "What is this?" 

When I didn't answer, I was completely incapable of speech, he said, "Maryushka, what happened? We were having such a good time..."

"I want to leave!" I wrung my hands as if I could squeeze the hysteria out through them or break them off along with all this manic delirium. "I need to leave here!"

"Leave? Already? We haven't been here an hour!" 

"Right now, right now!" My voice became overwhelmed with sobs and I covered my face with hands. I want to shrink until I was nothing, until I disappeared from everyone and everything and could never feel anything again.  

I heard Koschei say gently, "You don't have to leave, I will go if you want me to." 

'But I don't want to be here without you. I don't want to be anywhere but with you.' 

"No, I want to back to my room. To my work."

There was silence for a moment then I heard the murmuring of an incantation and then felt myself caught in that familiar pulling spin before collapsing on the floor of my room. 

Koschei then walked right past me and out my door, closing it behind him without a word. I rose shakily to my feet and threw myself on my bed, still wracked with weeping.

#ahhhhhh i miss this story #haven't updated this in ages but it's a relief to do something at my own pace #which of course is glacier but tbh i always tell people when it comes to hobby writing NEVER push yourself with deadlines or the like #because then it becomes an unpaid job & you begin to hate it #and imo that kills the whole point of writing - you kill the joy of it #or maybe that's just me & why i won't ever become a 'professional' writer #'nah fam i just do this for the goofs save the publishing for somebody who really wants it i'm happy in my private sandbox ' #my fic #my ocs

[dorenarox]

If you were to see my gameplay, you wouldn't even notice my motivation is FAR below zero at this point.

#Me #This is because I'm an (unpaid) professional! #You only know I hate this because I have no qualms telling anyone that this is SHIT #Don't do this shit and if you do and you are better than me fucking come and kill me #I mean it. Come. Kill me.

[duelbraids]

Death Rattle Dazzle Plot EXPLAINED (not clickbait)

Other title ideas: So None of the Picwick Triplets Did It?, Theatre Professional Unravels the Plot of In-Universe Musical for No Reason.

This is a list of my thoughts about the plot of the in universe musical Death Rattle Dazzle from Hulu's Only Murders in the Building. This will contain no spoilers for the plot of the show proper, or the mystery, but will spoil all the songs written and theorize about their placement in an actual, two act musical. It'll also reference a few of the gags from the final episode, and this metafiction article by Playbill, which was done in collaboration with OMITB. Maxine's in universe review is bloody funny, and it contains a Playbill, which reveals some plot details about the original play. This practically is fan fiction, I will admit, but its fun, damn it, and I did my research!

Death Rattle Dazzle has the distinction of being the adaption of what is called a "classic play" by Oliver (who, despite his kookiness, is clearly well versed in theatre.) Maxine's review says that "Anyone with more culture than a vanilla yogurt has probably encountered the play in some form—if not by starring in it at the local elementary school, then in the form of a spoof on television, in film, or by Cate Blanchett opening the Tonys in 2012." This is hilarious, basically making the play a straight play version of Little Shop of Horrors. Everyone's done it, especially regional or amateur companies.*

*By amateur, I do not mean bad or unpolished. Many local, amateur companies put on fantastic plays. I simply mean the definition of amateur used in theatre: unpaid.

To me, that means Death Rattle must be old enough to be in the public domain, or was willed to be public domain after the playwright's death, et cetera. We also meet the original director of the play in 3.10, though all we know is that his version was "Weirder." This adaptation element mostly comes up in the aesthetic changes from straight play to musical, because we do not see much of the original play. However it's clear to me that Oliver knows his chops, and knows how to reference original material (keeping 'Creature of the Night' as Act One's opener to replace the opening monologue, for instance.)

Now, I want to write a mock up of the plot, and then justify my decisions. I also had the idea to name random songs to fill out a 12 song tracklist - pretty short for a 2 Act Play, but I'm just doing this part for fun. Maybe they're the songs on the cast album. Made up songs are going to marked in Red.

Players The Detective The Nanny The Constable The Godmother The Father The Boatman The Pickwick Triplets Chorus

Act One

The Detective introduces the audience to the situation at hand - a murder that is driving him to madness. (Creature of the Night) The plot follows the Detective as he and the Constable begin to try and unravel the crime. The Constable admits he has had trouble keeping law and order, thus calling in the Detective. (Private Dick) The Chorus has a song about their own suspicions, including wondering about the parentage of the children (Is It You?) The investigative duo, along with the Chorus, lay out the details of the crime, woman murdered, only her triplets in the room, found tossed from the cliff with a rattle down her throat. (Death Rattle, DAZZLE!) We see more into the mental state of the Detective, who clearly is manic about this case. They go to interview The Godmother, who tells them about her final day with her best friend, casting blame on the "Children's Father," then the Nanny (Last Light / Only Duty) This leads into the Nanny at the top of the lighthouse, closing out the act as she expresses her devotion to the triplets. (Look for the Light)

Act Two

The Chorus brings us back in, summarizing the events of Act One using crab mating as a metaphor (Entr'acte / Nova Scotia Nightfall) The Father is questioned by the Detective, who reveals he knows the children are not his own, because he had been sleeping with the Godmother, not his own wife. However, he could not have killed her, as he was at his post all night, and his wife was inside. (Private Dick Reprise) The Boatman, who had been lurking since the beginning, is finally cornered by the Constable, and reveals that he not only ferried someone over the night of the murder, but couldn't see their face. (Deadest Night) Then, the Boatman tells the Constable that he saw no one enter or leave the lighthouse, which is where the Mother was killed. This leads to the Constable realizing he may have to charge one of the Pickwick Triplets to restore order to his island. He locks himself in the lighthouse, and tries to solve the crime. (Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It?) As the Detective enters with a copied key, the Constable realizes it must be he who murdered the Mother. The Detective admits this, though doesn't reveal why. (Confrontation, Dear Constable) The Nanny finds the Constable dead against the rocks, and challenges the Detective. He reveals that he is the father of the children, as well as confessing his guilt. The Nanny pushes him to his death, in order to protect herself. (For The Sake of a Child)

Okay, Justification Time.

The original play is described as "Agatha Christie" like, so casting suspicion on every character is basically a must. The actual placement of songs is based on how they were shown in the show, along with my own knowledge of theatre. Creature of the Night is a quintessential opening number: we start with our main character, before introducing every major character as they enter the stage. Look for the Light is a clear reference to Memory. A lullaby-like song to end the first act, the emotional core of the musical. Thus, similar to Cats, I structured the show to be mostly ensemble, framed by the two investigators. Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It? made me immediately think of plot twist patter songs ( ala Your Fault ) that come in at the 11th hour. And, of course, ending on that spoken For the Sake of a Child is the right level of dramatic.

While some of the plot in between the lines is inferred from the show, a lot of it comes from that metafiction article I mentioned - there's a Playbill with descriptions of the characters, and dear god, did it give me a goldmine of ideas. Seriously, I highly recommend that article. Marketing that's actually fun and engages the viewer in the show? Wow, who could've thunk it.

My original mock up included more people dying, but decided to cut that, since we have no evidence for that aside from the Nanny referring to the Detective "Serial Killing" which could have been about him killing the Constable, since we know he dies. If you want to know, they would've been: The Godmother murdered at the end of Act One, then the Father murdered in Private Dick Reprise, though not revealed until Confrontation, Dear Constable. BTW, that song is basically the only one with any basis in the show's script, as we hear a confrontation between the Detective and the Constable as cross talk near the end of 3.10.

Some scattered thoughts:

Both Private Dick and Only Duty are songs that I expect would have Ironic Echoes later in the show. Private Dick originally introducing the charming Detective in a mostly positive light, and then in the second act, used to insinuate that the Father knows the Detective used his, uh, private dick elsewhere. Only Duty, meanwhile, would be used by the Godmother to say that a Nanny's love is only because it's her paid duty, as opposed to the Mother or Godmother, and of course, later we have A nanny's only duty is to the children.

Finally, I had to include a reference that crab people breeding bit they couldn't drop in the show, lol. In my head it's a dream ballet during the entr'acte, each of the crabs wearing the character's they represent headpiece, and of course, three eggs.

EDIT: I can't believe I didn't mention this, but I believe the motive of the Detective to be a simple matter of custody; he wants the triplets, and got into a fight with the Mother when he tried to take them, leading to him murdering her. Then, he returns to the island when called by the Constable, and plans to either kill everyone in his way of getting the triplets, or to accuse someone other than him, to get out of trouble.

#only murders in the building #omitb #omitb s3 #death rattle #death rattle dazzle #meta analysis #fanfic #IT BASICALLY IS

[socpens]

hey scorpy! ive been following you for a while now and love your streams :) I'm in video production stuff and love hearing about set filming kinda stuff youve done! did you go to high school/college for it? did u do any tv production stuff in school? i know you mentioned youd go to local indie wrestling shows and just take pictures with your film camera, were/are you ever approached by local places for a paid position for that kinda stuff, or is it just something you really like to do?

i had 0 professional or academic experience with video stuff until i went to uni. all my video editing experience was from making dumb videos from my mid teens to early 20s in my free time

a lot of the video/photo work i still do is unpaid or underpaid, because it's something i do on the side for fun and not for money. i would just show up to concerts or wrestling shows with gear and film, or dm them before the show asking for access to the show in exchange for free work, or send like 40 emails to a bunch of different people asking to shoot lol. for me it's just a way to capture something cool for something i'm interested in and i don't really care about making money off of it. obviously if disney hit me up id be like show me the cash but i mostly work with small musicians or local promotions so its not that important. also it tends to give me free access to festivals & events so i just consider that the payment. sometimes i'll get contacted to do video promo/marketing work for a company and theyre willing to pay and i'll do it, but 90% of the time i'm doing stuff for cheap or free because i want to, so it makes sense that i be the one to reach out

i'd say anyone wanting to get into doing this stuff for fun, just bother people. whenever i get the chance to shoot a festival set it's because i've sent 50 emails to different artists and dmed a bunch of people (you dont need a platform either, i was doing this when i had 100 followers, your work will speak to the right people). just spam. out of the 50 you might get 1 maybe, a bunch of nos and mostly no responses, but of those maybes and nos if they took the time to reply that means they saw your stuff and considered it, which is better than nothing, and at the cost of sending a bunch of emails/dms thats a pretty good deal. costs u nothing

[yallemagne]

Me: *thinks of another aspect of Mrs. Westenra's horrid parenting* "AND ANOTHER THING---"

Lucy has her sleepwalking condition and Mrs. Westenra knows it is a problem and instead of approaching her daughter about it and assigning a maid or even hiring a medical professional to tend to Lucy, she first shirks all responsibility on her daughter's friend who was invited to a vacation, not a new unpaid job. And then, with the knowledge that Lucy is still sleepwalking post-vacation -- because there is no indication she has stopped, nor anything to give us the impression that Mrs. Westenra could rightfully assume she'd stopped -- she sends her daughter away when she comes to her asking to sleep in her bed.

What happened to the concern about Lucy leaving the house in her sleep? Huh? Is it somehow no longer a concern now that there isn't a literal cliff she could fall off of?? Is Lucy's health suddenly less important just because you have your death warrant and soon it won't be your problem??

HIRE A FUCKING DOCTOR YOU FUCKJGIOSMMRTGFDSF I'm SO MAD.

Are there any complications with letting Lucy sleep in her bed aside from just "I might die soon and I don't want her to know"? Does her heart condition perhaps cause problems in the night that would make it unwise to let Lucy share her bed? If so, this is the perfect time to explain to your daughter what is going on with your health and perhaps present a solution for both of you: a compromise. Perhaps pull up a cot beside your bed so she can sleep in the same room without it negatively affecting your health--

Oh, wait, that's something a good parent would do, and we're in a horror novel.

#I'm having dysphoria so i have to say mean things about lucy's mom-- joking joking #i'm still bitter I saw a post that was like 'people criticizing her just hate older women in books' #which is some wild ad hominem in response to legitimate criticism of shitty parenting #'you're not allowed to criticize fictional characters bc then that means you hate real women' #'god forbid a woman purposefully neglect her ill child' YEAH ACTUALLY GOD FORBID THAT PLEASE #dracula #dracula daily #dracula rant #mrs. westenra #mrs. westenra slander #all caps

[pussinbuss]

Abuse of women in the wrestling industry

In light of the situation with the Vince lawsuit I want to share a great article on issues in wrestling relating to misogyny, which touch upon allegations aswell as the neutral up to positive attitude some wrestlers and workers have around sexual assault and blatant disrespect of consent ( upholding r*pe culture, even by more modern wrestler ), aswell as misogyny and abuse of women : https://www.fanbyte.com/legacy/a-brief-history-of-creeps-in-professional-wrestling

I think it's important to remember what many men, with the help of other men or women, did in this business, to women and even children.

It's also extremely important to remember the women who were brave enough to talk about the abuse, and fight it. Women in this industry like in many entertainement business, from wrestling to fashion or even animation are used and abused by men on a, well, industrial level.

We have to be conscious we are watching a media built by those men, who have those ideas, and be critical of it.

It can be small like a wrestler wearing an Art Barr tshirt on TV

Or it may be big, watching the royal rumble, and hearing the name of it's creator, we have to remember the ring boys and Pat's misogynistic storylines and jokes he infused into the program.

Same can be said about Vince and the attitude and more modern era. How many women abused behind the scene, kept as eyecandy or not used for their wrestling abilities, simply because they are women.

When you are looking at a woman being humiliated in a fetish way on this show for a " storyline " ( you are looking at a women being abused, even if it's for a story ) it's because someone enjoy that power and dominance, and he feel so free about it he show it in front of you. If I say "women pro wrestling" to a woman my age in my country, they think misogynistic fetish fest !

Another point that bother me is the use an toss aspect given toward women in the business and sadly make it even more sad when women are helping men to shine, only for them to be awful men and make their legacy hidden. What would be Ric Flair without an Olivia Swithen Walker robe ?

To speak on use and abuse, I can only think of the so many female relegated to valet and manager ( as in classic celebrity manager ).

Behind Chris Benoit there was Nancy Toffoloni , who also helped tremendously Vickie Guerrero after the lose of her husband. She was horrendously killed by him.

Managing Snuka behind the scene was Nancy Argentino, who was killed by him.

How many wrestler's wife were and are holding together the household just to be beaten by their husband ? Too many

I also want to highlight the more insidious exploitation of women's ressources through unpaid labour, their body and money. ( and being educated to be kind, patient and caring help in it )

Take that awful interview of CM punk and Colt Cabana in 2005. Yes Punk is a good wrestler and speaker, did he exploit and abuse the shit out of some women for his benefice and treat her like scum ? Yes, and look at where he is now. He can wear as many "abortion is a human right " shirt as he want, because he sure did not see the humanity in the girl he used.

I'm sure this whole trial situation may bring strong emotions to people who were abused in such ways, and awarness by others of your situation is very important, even if it's simply a sibbling or close friends. The more people know it happen, and it happen often sadly, the more people will realise it's a common reality.

On a bit of positivity to end this I want to make clear the solution is not to give up wrestling, give up all entertainement and live in a cave. They actually want you to do that ! The solution is more women in charge in those industry, Shareholders, managers, creative team, places of power... Women and girl are around 50% of the world ? We got to take our sit at the table. As a viewer, we also have to "vote" with our time and money. Be vocal online about turning off the tv when an abusive wrestler you don't like is onscreen, make jokes about it even ! PR is power in our era.

Girlies, don't fall off the wagon, they want you to !

peace, Puss in Buss.

#if I messes up some of the censor or trigger tags please tell me #tw sa #tw misogyny #tw rape #tw rape culture #may delete it #If it come across weird I'm sorry I'm not the best at explaining myself #wwe #ric flair #cm punk #tw murder #tw child death #tw dv #vince mcmahon #pat patterson #huge rant #tw child abuse #there is so much more

[cruelsister-moved2]

you cant talk about it without sounding very radical and insane but i wish more women were aware that like. men are stealing from you. I'm always hesitant to put monetary value on the unpaid services we offer eachother especially as a disabled person but the reality is that both on a direct level (i.e. unpaid care/housework but also picking up tasks at work extra to your job description e.g getting early to the conference to set up, getting food/drinks, helping your incompetent male coworkers) and an indirect level (the wage gap and the expectations of a society men are only able to navigate as they do because they're surrounded by women invisibly labouring on their behalf) men are stealing from you. I don't think there's a woman who exists whos not being stolen from on a daily basis & the men who are stealing from you the most are the ones you love. globally women carry out around 75% of unpaid work. as the average woman you are probably having thousands of pounds worth of unpaid labour stolen from you by men. its easier to think that youre just cooking your husband dinner because you love him or looking after your siblings after school because your dad is busy with work, but he is only ableto achieve those things because of your unpaid labour - in many cases he is directly earning money because of your unpaid labour (or saving the money he would otherwise have to pay a professional for those services you are expected to perform)!! i dont understand how more women arent just furious about this all the time bc the next time youre cooking for a man or cleaning up after him or caring for his children or elderly relatives, just take a second to wonder how much he would have to pay someone for that service and whether he could afford it and see if you still feel like its a labour of love<3

#regular users of cruelsister.edu will know female always includes trans women but just in case #and in this case trans women are performing even MORE of this labour and being valued even LESS for it #not even going into the fact that even if he were to pay osmeone for it #it would most likely be a woman probably one from a marginalised population #who would be underpaid in comparison to his salary etc #which againHE ONLY HAS TIME TO MAKE BECAUSE OF WOMEN'S LABOUR #but yeah

[isaksbestpillow]

About Sani being at Akk's house. I'm not familiar with the Thai education system, but I assume some areas may be similar to the Japanese education system and other education systems in Asia. In the Japanese education system the line between a teacher's private and professional life is quite blurry, in some cases nearly non-existent. You're at work 24/7, and a lot of that work is unpaid. The school is your life. I have a neighbour who is a retired principal and I have to call him sensei even though he has never been my teacher anywhere. When Chadok returns the diary to Ayan, he still uses Teacher as his personal pronoun even though he has resigned. In my understanding, one should not use the polite address Khun on a teacher in Thai language, much like how in Japanese a sensei is never -san, because being a teacher overrides everything. Being a teacher is different from other professions, it goes beyond a career.

In this context I don't find Sani showing up all that weird, and I think there may be a cultural misunderstanding happening here. She is a teacher in charge of student welfare at the school checking up on a student who has been suspended. If anything, I think this kind of action is meant to show how much she is willing to invest in her students outside of the classroom. She's not there to prey on the youngsters but rather stepping up as the virtuous teacher, filling Dika's shoes.

#i had a friend in university here who had to use the phone box once a week to call her teacher in china #the eclipse spoilers #the eclipse

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

i got a new job and i am quitting tmrw bc it's a lot of bullshit and they have a horrible reputation as a company. the training was unpaid which i think is legal bc im an "independent contractor" instead of a legit employee. i have more beef with this part but im not gonna get into that rn.

anyway they gave us this scheduling spreadsheet thing and i went ahead and made a copy of it to work on my own which is what i do. started doing that shit in junior year there is a me copy for every document i have because i put so much filler to signal that i need to add something later. this is not just a professional workbook full of the hours/times I'd be working, if that was it i wouldn't complain at all. they expected us to have everything such as classes we're attending, events we're going to, other jobs, etc. basically shit no employer needs to know.

so during like. hour 7 day 2 of zoom job training they pull me aside to a different zoom room or whatever it's called. and they're mad that they're seeing no progress on my workbook so i explain that i made a copy for myself and I'm working off of that. they pressure me again to share my workbook. i explain again that it's for me and me alone. i dont know how they felt but they eventually accepted it.

a manager also made a joke about how they'll sometimes tell people they need more time for homework or other personal stuff on their schedule, which made me recall the 4 most beautiful words of all: mind your fucking business. this person does not need to know the specifics of my personal life and no job I've ever had before this has ever needed nor wanted to know.

anyway im glad im quitting now before the training is even over. ill update tmrw and say if they give me a hard time when i quit.

[ashen-crest]

a stats report on the rk ashwick books (as of April 2023)

some folks responded positively to the idea of seeing data on how my books have done (for indie author research and benchmark purposes), so here you go!

I'll put everything under the cut:

📚 What do I write?

Cozy fantasy romance under the pen name R.K. Ashwick.

📚 Why do I write?

Because I love it. I have a full-time job that isn't related to writing, so I write in my spare time. I should also note that I do not have dependents, am not a caregiver, and I do have anxiety and ADHD. I am not certain that I want to be a full-time writer, given the financial instability and the joy it could take away from writing. However, I want my books to be and perform the best they can, so I try to be professional about my product and methods.

(To me, this is all important context to be up-front about. Finances, family size, and health all have a huge impact on an author's goals and strategies.)

📚 How many books do I have out?

The Stray Spirit: released August 2022. First in a planned trilogy.

A Rival Most Vial: released March 2023. First in a planned trilogy.

📚 Online Visibility

Here's what I have going on:

Paid:

Website (requires $ for hosting)

BookFunnel for newsletter promos, sales promos, and ARC distribution (site requires $ to join)

Unpaid:

Newsletter (currently managing on free version of Mailerlite, since I'm under 1000 followers)

Facebook page (not consistently maintained, mostly for SEO)

Instagram, posting 5x/wk

TikTok, posting 5k/wk

Tumblr- hi!

using things like LibraryThing, GoodReads forums, Reddit, and FB pages to find more ARC readers

I was doing Amazon ads, but recently nixed them, as I didn't feel they were really getting me anything. I'll likely return to them once I have more books out.

A Note on Follower Count: I have, like 10 FB followers, 400-ish Insta followers, 1500 TikTok folders, and almost 1600 Tumblr followers. I've been on Tumblr the longest and TikTok second longest. TikTok had the fastest growth, Insta the slowest. However, general advice is that engagement rate is more important than follower count. I'll be real, I'm not doing that hot on that front. I'll consistently get around 20 likes on Insta posts and TikTok often caps my video views at around 200 or 300. The videos that do the best on TT often aren't the ones related to my books. Fun times.

A Note on Newsletter Stats: I have a pretty consistent open rate of 25-30%, which I think is okay. I'd like for it to be closer to 40%. (It's also hard to actually track open rates, so that number isn't entirely reliable.)

A Note on ARC Reader Stats: I got 100 readers for TSS and almost 200 for ARMV. This resulted in a ballpark count of 20 reviews for TSS and 30 reviews for ARMV around release time.

📚 Other Marketing Strategies

What you see above under Visibility is my ongoing work. I also do more limited-run strategies, like:

occasional free book giveaways on social media

pre-order gifts for my book

I sent out around 20 pre-order gift envelopes for TSS and 45 for ARMV. I operate the pre-order gifts at a loss, but I really enjoy doing it, so I'm okay with it. I also have lots of leftover stickers and bookmarks that I can bundle with giveaways.

📚 Distribution

I distribute wide through:

Amazon: both ebook and paperback

IngramSpark: paperback only

Draft2Digital: ebook only

📚 Orders & Royalties

So, what did all this work and shennanery get me?

From July 2022-April 2023 (10 months):

Books Sold: 575

Total Royalties, paid and unpaid: $1543.49 ($2.68 per book)

📚 Is that good or bad?

I have no idea!! And I think in the end, it all depends on your goals.

If my goal was to make a living: welp, it's def not enough.

If my goal was to break even: between website set up, DBA set up, cover cost, editing cost, illustrator cost: nah. I'd have to make about $4,000 more to safely say I've broken even.

If my goal was to get strangers, and not just family and friends, to read my books: oh hey, I did that!!

I hope this information helps you set a goal, so you're not mentally wandering around like I am.

📚 Other Notes

A big factor in having a financially successful indie book is fitting genre conventions in your chosen subgenre, or 'writing to market.' I will say that A Rival Most Vial is more written to market than The Stray Spirit is. The Stray Spirit sort of straddles cozy, historical, and academic fantasy without actually leaning in to any of those things, so it's a little harder to market.

I also spent a lot on cover, editing, and illustration. That makes it harder to be a financially viable business, but it's what I wanted to do to have a strong finished product. I am lucky in that my full-time job can cover these expenses.

I'm not very good at social media. I've never had anything go viral on any of the sites.

The most rewarding part of all this is seeing how people react to the book: reviews, videos where they're almost crying over the book, podcast invitations, and [something a bit bigger than I'll announce in the summer.] At the end of the day, if I have a small group of buyers who are vocal in engaging with my books, that's far more rewarding than a large group of buyers who don't engage.

📚 Parting Thoughts

I'm happy to talk about any and all aspects of my self-publishing experience. If you have more questions or want more details, feel free to reply, send an ask, or DM me!

#writeblr #writblr #indie authors #self publishing

[ziskeyt]

over the past few jobs i've had since like 2018 i've been very good at enforcing my time boundaries. recently, i've had a number of comments about this in the form of others who feel envious of my ability to sign off. so today i am here as a professional adult to tell you: you have to make your job listen to you. you have to tell your job when you work. i'm not magically some outlier about this, i'm not special, i'm just a person who read my work contract and makes my company adhere to what we agreed. the point is: you need to determine your work boundaries and you have to be the one to maintain them.

the job i really nailed down doing this was before i went to grad school and had to balance that time, and before i had my stroke and became disabled. i was just working a job as an admin assistant / marketing coordinator to four (4!) real estate sales people (realtors). if you know anything about realtors you likely know they work all the time. all of it. they are working. or schmoozing, but that's still work for them. so, in that industry a lot of admins end up working long hours to get reports out, create marketing collateral, fill in lease abstracts, what have you. it's extremely normalized. all the old guard of older women admins at every job i've had in real estate would work beyond the 9-5. so, how'd i do it?

perhaps it's because they were sales people that me saying i would work 9-5 but come in 8-4 on the days they wanted an 8am meeting helped, perhaps they intrinsically understood the value of my time. but i doubt it, because again, i worked in an industry where practically every other admin worked long hours for no reason. but i did tell them they could have my phone for emergencies and that was it, if they needed me once i went home it was going to wait until i was back in the morning. there are so very few, so minuscule in number, situations where your business job will ever have an after hours emergency that you need to work overtime unpaid for. everything else? it's not that urgent. they can wait. and they did. i worked my 8-4 on mondays and 9-5 the other days for months. you may think, "oh but if i leave at 5 and others are still working i might hinder my ability to get a promotion" and if you work at a place where that is the case, that is well beyond the only thing inherently wrong with your work environment and you should look for something else. i worked commercial real estate, not only did i get promotions, i was headhunted from competitors and offered better pay and positions. and in every firm i saw the admins working beyond their hours. every single one. and people would comment on me not working until 7pm in a jealous way, but again. i wasn't doing anything special. i just wasn't letting the company out of the agreement it made with me. during the time i was doing part time grad school and full time work i just told my bosses, (and my potential ones when i interviewed for those "our dick's bigger than yours" games cre firms play with each other), that i would work 8-1 on days i had to commute to school and make up my hours other days. i didn't ask for this. i laid it out to my bosses and said this is how it is going to be. i said if there was ever anything absolutely urgent they could try and email me while i was in class but i would be unlikely to respond. my work never suffered for me working my agreed upon hours, nor when i needed to shuffle them to accommodate school. and sure, if you have an unreasonable boss it is going to be incredibly difficult to get them to respect your time because they do not respect you. either you can try and make it work, try and fight for yourself every single day, or you get a new job. i have had garbage bosses who neither respected my time nor me as a person. i cannot advise how you change those people, only that you need to get the fuck away from them as soon as you are able. no job is worth your health, mental or physical. here in ontario you have the right to disconnect now, the right legally to turn off your phone and ignore your work emails and calls. you may not live in ontario so i do not know what your legal rights are, but i will say to read your work contract. get familiar with your rights as an employee. if you're confused about anything call your local law school they tend to have student phone banks for questions and i've used them for some help with employment law questions i've had in the past. the thing is, you sign a contract to accept a job, but the company also signed this contract. you are held to adhering to it in order to continue to have your job. so, too, you should hold the company to it in order to keep having you. You are the asset. make them remember that.

#Adult advice #Employment advice #also unionize if you can #this is primarily about salaried employees #but also if your hourly job expects you to work at all when you aren't clocked in they are similarly abusing your work contract #don't work beyond your contract #the company is not going to reward you for sacrificing your life for their profit

[chicago-geniza]

Hey you know what is insane. Every single person I've done technical academic editing for, from proofreading up to line/content edits that require graduate-level expertise in the field and familiarity not only with jargon/theoretical shorthand/major debates/Who's Who, but a working knowledge of the latest journal articles, conference papers, *recorded lectures* to situate your client's intervention *precisely* in its discursive context--not to mention professional reading fluency in three languages--anyway. Every single person I've done academic editing for has told me I'm one of the best editors they've worked with, if not the best, hands down. I have been trying to get a job in academic publishing for Years and gotten to the final stage of competitive interviews and they always hire someone less qualified, but who did. Get a degree from a prestigious private school with name recognition. And who did get Experience at an unpaid publishing internship that either their endowment-flush school or some independent wealth bankrolled. Nobody at [redacted private uni] press went to a college that wasn't an Ivy or "Ivy equivalent" and I truly believe I didn't get the job because I went to the University of Illinois; the job was posted again within a month of hiring the one (1) other candidate besides me who made it to final interviews lol. I know it isn't unusual, I have friends whose writing and comics and music are quoted and cited and sung around the world and their names are dropped in print media and they also own one pair of sheets and pay for groceries with food stamps. But like it's crazy that by the end of 2024 I will have worked as editor or translator or consultant translator on, uh, something like 10 books, one of which was nominated for a Booker Prize, and I can't get a real job, and my EBT card got declined buying Red Bull

#Need a job and thinking about oldmoney newmoney & how socioeconomic is a compound but #Sometimes you gotta break it up to explain a phenomenon

[literalnobody]

Have you thought about monetizing your stories (on some platform like Kindle)? What are your thoughts on it? Candidly, I'm considering it with my stories, but also i hate all the language around "second stream of passive income" that pops up around it and I'm worried it'll suck the joy out? Idk, just interested in your thoughts on it if you have any

I have some pretty strong feelings about it, but i think it's really important to keep in mind that I'm an unpublished writer with no industry experience, either in self-monetization or in working with an agent or publisher. My thoughts are solely founded on what I've seen other people say about their experiences and my own ambitions to become a professional writer, so it's really likely I have an incomplete perception of these realities.

I want to be properly published some day. My goal is to finish The Water Dog this year, written and edited, and try to either get it in the hands of a publisher or self publish it online. I do want to make money off it because unlike my other stories on here I'm investing a lot into making it professional quality, something that's actually worth people shooting a few euros at.

I think passive income does and can exist, but it's a really aspirational and hard-to-attain level of success which I'm realistically probably not going to reach with my first real novel. I don't think there's anything passive about writing or creating art, it takes a huge investment of hours of unpaid labour in the hopes you'll break even later, and people who try to sell you on "passive income" opportunities with writing either got incredibly lucky or are massively understating the level of time you have to put into creating, marketing and selling your work. I'm in an incredibly fortunate position where I'm receiving a grant to help me create art, without which I would not be able to continue with Rose Tide Rising or write The Water Dog on such a short timeline.

All of this is to say, I think you are absolutely entitled to want to monetize your stories! Just because something is a piece of your soul/a joy to create doesn't mean you cant invite others to buy a copy, and I fundamentally believe that artists deserve to be paid for their work if they are creating a product. I think an artist can create work for free and work for profit and neither is more or less worthy of artistic merit, that creator may just have different aspirations for different pieces. I don't think monetization sucks the joy out of writing either, in fact money can help cultivate joy by way of safety, security, and time to write more. It's ultimately a very personal endeavour I think, a negotiation with yourself about what you are willing to charge people for, what people are willing to pay for, and what you are willing to share for free. I don't think any of those things are mutually exclusive with the joy of creating as long as you are mindful of your own goals and don't let yourself feel like a content factory who owes other people more of your work.

So them's my thoughts! A little scatterbrained but I think you'll get what I mean. Any time I see a writer selling their stories I blow them a kiss and hope they do very well with them. I think in this age of wretched capitalism people can instinctively view "Creator-consumer" relationships as inherently bad, but they are in fact just a reality of making a living. You're allowed to want money for your efforts and you're allowed to GET money if people want to read your efforts enough to pay for them.

#sorry this is a bit incoherent? its hard for me to funnel my thoughts linearly sometimes #asks

[diamondcitydarlin]

So I quit that job I mentioned earlier lol, I hadn't done work for this particular company since the pandemic and it became very clear, very quickly that what was already tenuous, chaotic circumstances before all that has only rapidly deteriorated further since. There was no discernable like, assigned Project Manager for this nonsense, just like four separate people making decisions behind each other's backs, over each other's heads, so the situations with everything were constantly changing and in this chaos no one bothered to communicate any of these changes with me (probably because they weren't communicating with each other) while just sort of expecting me to keep up and hit the notes that no one wanted to make clear in the first place. Like, "well why isn't this done?" "uh because idiot #3 said this script wasn't finalized, I mean not to me personally but openly in the chat to everyone" "WE CAN STILL USE THIS SCRIPT" "UHM NO WE CAN'T NOT UNTIL ITS FINALIZED SO WHEN IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN" "IDK ASK IDIOT #2 WHO NEVER ANSWERS THEIR DMS ANYWAY" like what the actual fuck?? I was already getting so stressed out by this lack of any sense of cohesion whatsoever, but my breaking point was on Sunday when I had made it clear I wasn't going to be available and everyone was like yea yea cool that's fine (like, literally I live on land I'm responsible for upkeeping in the middle of the mountains now, if I step out of my house and into the depths of the property I am OUT OF SERVICE and I made it clear this was going to be the case MULTIPLE TIMES) and one of the bitches that's been going behind everyone's back and over their heads etc and is also some boomer lady with too much time on her hands CALLS ME FOUR TIMES BEFORE 7 AM ON SUNDAY TO ASK WHERE I AM AND WHAT I'M DOING like mam? You're not even my boss (hasn't stopped her from trying to treat me like her 20-something unpaid intern assistant though) and I made it clear multiple times that I'm not going to be available today "Well you're gonna have to be because we're very behind" AND THAT'S -MY- FAULT? THE ONE PERSON WHO HAS BEEN DOING THEIR ACTUAL JOB? I was just like yeah you know what actually I'm done with this as of today, pay me what I'm owed and don't contact me again

the worst part is that when I agreed to come on to help with this it was never communicated to me that I was going to be expected to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (bc literally this boomer lady with no boundaries would be texting me at 10 pm on Friday for no reason bc she has nothing better to do with her life) to a group of people that don't know their mouths from their assholes and are just using this a pissing contest with each other while treating me like absolute shit and getting absolutely nothing done. It has NEVER been this bad. I also wasn't told that I'd be treated like an intern despite very much not being hired as one and well past the time in this career path where that'd be an appropriate role for me. Like, I wasn't made aware of any of this bullshit before agreeing to HELP OUT.

That's the other shitty thing, is that this was to HELP OUT a professional friend that I've done many fun and successful productions with- and where is he through all of this? Mostly not there. Mostly just not available. Not communicating with me or anyone else. I'm not speaking to him now because I really feel like he threw me to the wolves with this one despite the many MANY times in our working relationship that I had gone out on limb for him and the times he had done the same for me! Thought we were cooler than this! GUESS NOT.

I'm somewhat disappointed with myself for accepting this in the first place knowing what I do of that company's bullshit (tho in my defense as I said, it had never been quite THIS bad) but mostly I'm disappointed with myself for once again thinking I could trust someone lol like DO I NOT KNOW BETTER? AFTER ALL THIS TIME OF PEOPLE FUCKING ME OVER, TREATING ME LIKE A NON-PRIORITY? AFTER SWEARING TO NOT DO THAT TO MYSELF ANYMORE? Unbelievable that I could be so naive!

But I think anger is due at these careless type of people too, idc how useless it is, how little it's going to change anything about them. Like where does one get the gall to treat someone they barely know, who does not report to them in a subservient capacity, as though they're Miranda Priestly and I'm their little underpaid assistant? Where does one get the gumption to think it's okay to violate work hour boundaries that were made explicitly clear before being hired? In all my days working in this industry (and maybe I got lucky a million times) I have never been treated with such disrespect for my own time, especially in a situation where NO ONE has the right to be ordering anyone else around.

I don't deserve that, and honestly neither would an inexperienced 20-year old (which I am very much not). Incredible. Unbelievable that in this day and age where people are not putting up with work place bullshit that there could still be some asshole doing it anyway, violating boundary after boundary without a care in the fucking world.

Yeah well suck on this, lady, now you have to do all the work yourself because I don't need this job in the first place as I have several others that actually pay well and don't treat me like crap. Eat shit uwu

#personal job stuff lol #me complaining about shitty workplaces and lack of boundaries and why i quit #'nO onE waNts tO woRk aNymOre' yea bc no one wants to treat their employees with any amount of respect either #also the talent i was excited to work with on this turned out to be a dick which is not unexpected but still shitty #don't need him or yall byyyeee

[rotblut]

May I ask what do you use to create the gifs? And are you like a professional video editor or something like that? Because your sets are so well done!

.

thank you for your nice and sweet words 💗💗💗💗 but sadly no, i'm working a basic daytime job and this is my unpaid labor work of love with how much i promote dramas the whole time. netfl*x and d+ should give me money for the stuff i post promoting their productions and i'm doing that for years now 😩😩😩😩

hugs have a nice day 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 wish i could make fan videos that's one thing i'll never learn. would quit tumblr and jump on youtube and make fmvs all the time but i cannot edits videos 😭😭😭😭

#frage

[firespirited]

Anyway I have a lot of complicated thoughts about professional boundaries as a person who employs a carer. We have complex power dynamics as I go hungry or unmedicated if she's not available, she earns twice as much as me. I've also given extensive legal and emotional counsel to many of my carers being mistreated by the various agencies that exploit every legal loophole but also the fact that they have vulnerable people in their care or collegues worn out from the job.

Cut for length

When we joined the newly formed agency two years ago it was with the demand that there be a client code of conduct so that carers can refuse consistently rude patients or patients who insist on work above a carer's paygrade (lifting without equipment for example). Another issue was unexpected (but frequent) overtime and making sure there are always employees to take shifts before they take on any extra patients at the agency because covid exposure could happen, staying with a patient until an ambulance or family arrives can happen and lots of heavy work related injuries like sprains and back aches happen.

It has to be all in writing and all the work and types of work logged because the agencies will say "that poor granny's going to go hungry because you won't go back" to guilt them but that granny screams obscenities and slurs while you work so either she and her family can learn that this is a two way relationship or pay someone at least double to deal with rude behaviour as a private employee who can leave at will.

A carer is not my bestie and I'm not there to be trauma dumped on either. Finding the lines and making sure they're respected is not easy, I'm in contact with both disability advocacy and care work advocacy as we try to reform a damaged system with a high burnout rate but also a high patient neglect rate.

Complicated. Also very common. The issues map on to all sorts of service jobs. Carer remains at the margins of medical care without the power of the nursing unions and often is done without pay or boundaries by family. Disabled and elderly abuse by carers paid and unpaid is also a big problem that's often solved not by magically solving ableism but by fewer hours, more support and decent pay translating into less resentment towards the patient.

Then I think about performers having to tour to make money because their contract for music sales is so exploitative, how they're travelling and lonely and thrown into the role of manager if they want any creative control. It's easy to see how messy that would get if you weren't trained in how to seperate your work from your personal feelings, how to interact or not with employees while in the tight-knit feelings of touring and performing together, when to hire people to run interference and keep the lines clear...

Yes it's bad. It's just not as unprecedentedly evil as the press is making it. Sordid details or not, bosses are making their employees do far more than is in the contract, and it doesn't have to involve sex clubs to be soul crushing and demeaning. It's being forced to hide your spouse, not flinch during displays of religiosity or bigotry, and so much little extra grinding without getting paid that eats your life up.

She's not special, the exploitation is so banal it could be any workplace. It shouldn't take salacious details to get us fired up for those dancers who deserve better work conditions.

#saf #ramblings #long post