#What it's like dating somebody who is also a student <3 AKA the best thing eveeeer

[learnelle]

Romantic academia:

Going on study dates to pretty libraries, fighting to find a seat next to each other.

On discord listening to them go through a powerpoint the night before their big presentation.

The Arts/Humanities one proof-reading the STEM one's motivation letters/long emails.

Reading through interesting research in bed together, sharing the one phone screen.

Alternating between who is the one making tea for the study session. (Bonus: matching study mugs)

Study breaks include marveling over some super niche knowledge acquired during the study session.

Emailing an article as a pdf, and titling the email "I thought you'd find this interesting :-)"

Setting a timer for a cuddle break when the assignment work gets too overwhelming. Celebrating together when the assignment gets done.

Sharing the excitement of finding a new productivity app / stationary shop / study hack.

#What it's like dating somebody who is also a student <3 AKA the best thing eveeeer #studyblr #stemblr #romantic academia #dark academia #chaotic academia #study aesthetic #study motivation #university #college #exams #student

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here is every unraveled episode (as of may 2020) as how they’d be as a lover | a 2.5k word long post written in the style of an unraveled about unraveled and also love

Ah. Unraveled. Polygon’s golden boy of a video series where Brian David Gilbert is beckoned into a suit, lured into a blackbox studio, and is only granted escape after he has explained to three cameras whatever batshit video game adjacent thesis he has been cursed with this time. Unraveled is a wonderful video series, and we all love it.

But what if it could love us?

If you’ve ever asked this question to yourself, boy, do I have some content for you, because for the past 2 days, I’ve been working on this post where, for entirely too long, I explain to you how each Unraveled episode would be as a lover. And more importantly, which ones would be the best lovers.

Before I fall deep into this unhinged hole and take you down with me, I need to explain some things.

First: I want to make it clear that I am not categorizing BDG as he portrays himself in each Unraveled. I am instead taking each Unraveled episode as a fully formed being, the story, performance, etc, and letting that shape a character of its own. This character is where I extrapolate details from to create an Unraveled episode’s qualities as a lover. What I’m basically doing is anthropomorphizing Polygon dot com video content. And then making you date them. If this doesn’t make sense, don’t worry, it will as you read along. And if it helps you to visualize the Unraveled Episode As A Lover, I invite you to just imagine whomever it is you are most attracted to---or for those who don’t experience attraction, whomever it is you find most aesthetically pleasing---and then just add in the wild personality traits I describe through the course of this post.

Second: I know what you’re thinking. “Avian, the characteristics of what makes a good lover is subjective!” And I wholeheartedly agree. I’ve been through college, and I’ve witnessed my friends whom I love so dearly enter relationships with some of the most wack ass motherfuckers I’ve ever met. I know that people are into different things. But do I judge them for it? Well, kinda, yeah! Yes, what we want in a lover is subjective, but I’ve consumed a metric fuckton of romance media over the course of my life and am also in a wonderful relationship with my own girlfriend, and thus have my own personal idealized ranking for what makes a good lover. Feel free to disagree with my rankings of Unraveled Lovers, but also, I’m writing this post. I say this with as much love as I possibly can, but if you disagree with me, make your own post. If you don’t wanna make your own post, you’re just going to have to trust me for 2.1k more words.

With that out of the way, let me take you on a journey through the 23 Unraveled Lovers, from worst to best.

BAD TIER: I would probably advise you to break up with these Unraveled Lovers as soon as you are emotionally capable of doing so.

Hoo boy, we’re starting at the bottom. The perfectionists, the nitpickers, the emotionally unavailables. These Unraveled Lovers would have good intentions, but just have aspects within their personality that will wear you and your relationship together down until both of you can no longer take it.

“Ranking all 200+ Megaman robots” is a lover obsessed with the concept of “is this worth it?” They would unknowingly but inevitably rank parts of your own personality on a scale of ‘worth the trouble in this relationship’ and ‘not worth the trouble’. Any lover who deals with you with this kind of dichotomy is somebody you should not be with. You should be accepted and loved for all your parts, the beautiful and the ugly.

“How to make the perfect E3 press conference” is a lover who spent years consuming romance media and has a list of what makes the perfect relationship. So not only do they have unrealistic expectations for what a relationship is, but they will be obsessed with reaching that unreachable perfection. That will definitely put a strain on your relationship until the veneer of desired perfection crumbles away, leaving you both tired and sad.

On a less deep note, “How to tell apart all 596 Fire Emblem characters” just won’t remember any of the names of your friends or family. Sure, they’ll try, but they’ll give up in like 15 minutes and you’ll never be able to take this Unraveled Lover to a family reunion or a party with your friends. Probably not a dealbreaker, but as the Spice Girls said “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” This Unraveled Lover will not. Next.

“No one asked but I found Mortal Kombat’s best cuddler” and “I wasted 3 weeks of my life finding Castlevania’s hottest monster” are two Unraveled Lovers with a similar problem: they both won’t shut the fuck up about their exes. Mortal Kuddler constantly brings up all the other cuddles they’ve experienced and Castlevanias Hottest Monster will tell you you’re beautiful, but also bring up like 69 other monsters they think are also beautiful. This might not be a red flag, but personally, this would tire me out, always being thought of in comparison or contrast to others.

That ends the BAD TIER and brings us to the OKAY TIER where a large chunk of the Unraveled Lovers fall into, so much so that I had to create more specific sub tiers under the OKAY TIER.

So let’s get into the OKAY TIER: These Unraveleds Lovers are alright, you’ll just have a sublimely weird relationship.

These Unraveled Lovers will treat you right but they’re also just very peculiar. Nothing wrong with that at all, but I’m here to explain to you just in what ways these okayest lovers are bizarre. Let’s start with the first sub tier.

OKAY SUB TIER: College Students who are way too into their major

There are a lot of Unraveled Lovers under this subtier, and this shouldn’t surprise you, because Unraveleds are inherently nerdy. These are lovers that will be good to you but also just never fucking shut up about what it is they’re studying.

“I read all 337 books of Skyrim so that you don’t have to” and "Understanding Kingdom Hearts (and every other story" are Creative Writing majors obsessed with analyzing every single thing they read. As a Creative Writing major myself, I would advise you to never date a Creative Writing major unless you are a Creative Writing major yourself. I think that’s the only way the relationship can be ethical. Being sent essays from the New Yorker every day would be torture if you didn’t actively enjoy it.

“We made all 78 Breath of Wild recipes in one day” is a Culinary Arts major and, score, they’re gonna wanna cook for you! A lot! Beware though, because it’ll be a hit or miss on whether or not the food will be good, but you must admit, that there is nothing quite as attractive as your lover making you food (let’s just hope the food doesn’t harm you).

“Smash Bros. owes millions of dollars in OSHA violations” is going to law school and that should be a dealbreaker in itself, but I’ll be a bit lenient because they’re always working towards the safety of everybody. This Unraveled Lover will always remind you to put your seatbelt on and also tell you exactly what laws you are violating.

“Bowser’s military hierarchy” is a Political Science major, and Political Science majors scare me. So I’ll just say they’re okay, and leave it at that.

“Which Dark Souls Boss is the best manager?” is a rare non-evil Management major because they actually truly care for the welfare of employees. They just will always talk about it, even when you guys are on a date. I know worker’s rights are important, but it’s not exactly what I want to talk about in between kisses, yknow?

“I fixed Fallout’s music by creating a totally new genre” is a Music major who keeps accidentally making Ska love songs to you. You didn’t know Ska love songs could be a thing. This Unraveled Lover makes it a thing.

“Scientifically Calculating the Game of the Year” is a Math major so you will never have to worry about calculating bills because they can do it for you.

“Calculate your pet’s HP with my 100% legitimate formula” is a Veterinary Medicine major so if you’re an animal lover, this Unraveled is the one for you! Just beware, because this Unraveled Lover will also spend a lot of time observing you from afar to quantify your health points, but both of you will inexplicably find this activity strengthens your relationship.

And last but not least for this sub tier, “When can Mario retire?” is a disillusioned Accounting and Finance major who chose this line of study to get a job and, through the years, realized what a hellscape capitalism is. You may have to deal with a lot of zoning out and staring off into the distance, with this Unraveled Lover, but a lover who hates capitalism sure is a good egg.

That brings us to our next sub tier!

OKAY SUB TIER: Cultists or Conspiracy Theorists (AKA...College Students who are way too into their extracurriculars)

These Unraveled Lovers are alright! They’re just a little bit off the shits.

“Every Sonic game is blasphemous” will get really really worked up about things and probably try to start a cult. For most, that’s a definite dealbreaker, but what makes Sonic Bible an okay lover is that they eventually calm down from the cult outburst and apologize. So this Unraveled Lover will treat you well, you just have to be ready to ground them when they get a little bit bonkers.

“Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 minutes” is very similar to Sonic Bible, except instead of starting a cult, every once in a while they’ll just sit you down on a chair and explain to you their latest obsession while slowly and intensely stripping. Which, hey, that could make for a fun night, if you’re into that kinda stuff! Definitely okay in my book.

That brings us to our last okay sub tier.

OKAY SUB TIER: Your Unraveled Lover might need to schedule some sessions with a therapist, and that’s Okay

Listen, we all have baggage. We all have problems. These are Unraveled Lovers who want to be the best for you, but at the same time have issues of their own, and you’re going to have to support them when they pop into their local psych clinic to make themselves better people.

“Waluigi” is an Unraveled Lover who is going through some identity issues. They want to be good for you, but they don’t even know who exactly they are. They may feel as if they are tricking you into being in this relationship, that they aren’t who you think they are, and while these fears are irrational, they wholeheartedly believe it and will never feel fully secure in this relationship until they have made peace with themselves. If you love this Unraveled Lover, you’re going to have to stick with them as they learn more about who they are.

“Kirby” is an Unraveled Lover who, for some reason, is obsessed with the constant quest to make things make sense. This need of theirs bleeds into every aspect of their life and can definitely affect your relationship. This Unraveled Lover may sometimes perhaps cite that they don’t deserve you because they can’t seem to figure out a logical and objective answer for why you are with them. This issue of treating everything like a puzzle to solve is an issue they will have to work out and recover from, and they will be receptive to this process of recovery because they cherish the relationship they have with you and understand that not everything has to be solved; some things can just be felt. If you choose to stay with this Unraveled Lover, you must be prepared to support them when they take a mysterious but needed soul searching journey in the woods. You must be prepared to sit with them along the shores of the beach and reassure them that life is about living, not about answers.

And that, dear readers, ends the OKAY TIERs. Now it’s time for the tier you have all been waiting for.

Drumroll, please!

GOOD TIER: Pop open the champagne, bring out the strawberries dipped in chocolate, and let Spotify play Careless Whisper, baby, because we’re in the Ideal Lover zone.

Welcome to the Ideal Lover Zone. Here, we have three Unraveled Lovers who are just extremely good fellas.

“I used the Sims to perfect my apartment” is an Unraveled Lover who will work their hardest to be the best for you, but unlike the BAD TIER perfectionists, it will naturally dawn to them that perfection is unattainable. After this realization, they will find comfort and happiness in your romantic relationship and the other healthy relationships they have with other people. This Unraveled Lover will be sincere with you when the time calls for it, but will also not be afraid to be goofy for it. Above all, this Unraveled Lover will ask for help when they need it. They may often be shy, at first, but they understand their limits and will openly communicate to you when situations call for it. Communication is the bedrock of any good relationship, and this Unraveled Lover will never keep you guessing.

“The Perfect Pokerap” is similar to the Sims, in the sense that they will at first strive for perfection in the honeymoon phase of your relationship but then understand that that isn’t possible and then set more reasonable and realistic goals. What sets this Unraveled Lover out from the crowd though is just how much they cherish you. How devoted they are to you. The love you will feel in this relationship will be transcendental, and, even if you do break up, this Unraveled Lover will never forget you.

And finally. Who---according to me, a mildly delirious 21 year old rando on the internet---is the most ideal Unraveled Lover?

It’s “Find your Kojima name with my simple 11 page form.” Why? Because this Unraveled Lover wants to know you. They want to know everything about you, the parts you like and the parts you don’t like. This is a lover who will not shy away from any aspect of yourself, but instead, embrace you for who you are as a full fledged person.

They’ll also give you a whack ass pet name, and boy, isn’t that romantic?

Well, there you have it. All (as of May, 2020) of the Unraveled Episodes as 23 Unraveled Lovers. What did I learn from this endeavor? That romantic love is complicated, but if you’re into it, it is definitely worth the trials and tribulations.

...As long as I’m not dating the Castlevania Unraveled. Seriously, when we’re making out, I don’t wanna hear about how sexy the Hyena With Gun is. Learn how to read the room, dude.

(Thanks for reading.)

#reposting because damn it i worked too hard on this that it BETTER FUCKIN SHOW UP IN THE TAG #polygon #bdg #unraveled #brian david gilbert #nobody asked but

[hiddendreamer67]

HiddenDreamer67′s MasterPost

Glossary

G/t-  aka, these stories contain extreme size differences, which often means some of the characters are borrowers, fairies, giants, etc. Could also include things like characters shrinking or growing.

AO3- Archive Of Our Own, a popular Fanfiction site.

In Progress- I intend to continue this work, although sometimes I forget about all of these wips and reminders are welcome. Some have listed scheduled updates. 

On Hiatus- It’s been a long time since I’ve updated this work and I’m open to coming back to them if somebody asks for more but I don’t plan to write more on my own volition right now.

All of the works are being placed beneath a Read More link for organizational purposes. There are many of them. Enjoy. :)

G/t works- 

Choose Your Tiny- A short choose-your-own-adventure written for an old contest. Linked Here

A Little Lie Couldn’t Hurt- When Patton finds a tiny little guy in the back room of a pet store, he's determined to help. But when he has to continually lie to keep the guy safe, is he really doing more good than harm?Aka, Deceit Sanders is a manipulative lil' tiny who gets what he wants and makes Patton feel terrible. (on Hiatus)

AO3 Link | Part 1  | Part 2  |  Part 3  | Part 4

Infinitesimal!Fins-"So, a mermen AU with the SidesOnly they’re all smol and goldfish-sizedAnd one day they’re captured and placed in a pet storeWithin separate fish tanksUnable to touch one anotherOnly able to watch and witnessAs one by one, they’re sold off to terrifying giant strangers..." Inspired by a prompt by @secretglittersauce (in progress)

AO3 Link | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 |Part 7|Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11

Borrower Analogical-  Two borrowers, Virgil and Logan, have been living together for quite some time when Logan has the unfortunate luck to get caught. Now only time can tell what's in store for our intrepid heroes as Virgil attempts to save his companion. Meanwhile, Roman and Patton cannot get over the joy of finding such a cute mystical creature, and with every day their curiosity only grows. (in progress, updates Mondays)

AO3 Link |  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Dragged From the Depths- Dr. Picani, Captain Deceit, and Interns Thomas and Remy aren't sure what to make of the strange violet-colored creature that is brought into the lab one day...but perhaps some things are better off untouched.Furious about the disappearance of their brother Virgil, mers Roman, Logan, and Patton are quick to try to jump to his rescue and get their family back together again. (in progress)

AO3 Link |  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

The Injured Fairy-  Summary: Roman the butterfly catcher stumbles upon the most beautiful pair of violet wings he’s ever seen…until he realizes, that’s no butterfly. (complete, sequel coming) 

Read it here

Amanda’s Discovery-  A college student who’s always been enchanted by the idea of tiny people is in for a surprise when she discovers four have been living in her dorm room walls. Borrowers Roman, Logan, Virgil, and Patton have been acting as a less-than-functional family ever since their parents left the picture. Featuring youngest brother Patton who cannot wait to go borrowing, Second youngest Virgil who is banned from borrowing ever since his anxiety attacks nearly got them caught, second eldest Logan who questions every rule he has ever been taught, and eldest brother Roman who is just doing his best to keep his brothers in line without murdering them in the process. (in progress, turned into an ask blog)

AO3 Link | LINK TO ASK BLOG

G/t Prompt universes 

Note: All of these universes are based upon prompts that people have sent in. Asks and prompts are always welcome for any of these universes, even if so far the world only consists of one prompt. 

borrower!Thomas in Human!Roman’s apartment-

Pizza Therapy- (complete) Part 1 | Part 2

Human!Virgil on an alien spaceship team- 

An Old Friend

Human!Patton and his borrower!Virgil son- 

You’re Freezing

Humans Virgil and Patton own pet borrowers Logan and Roman (who aren’t happy about it)-

Swordfight 

 Logan’s Escape

Shrinking Sides- Is Roman shrinking or Logan growing?…or both? It seems that when the sides get overwhelmed by emotions, these feelings can get the best of them and cause the sides to change size.

Main Story (in progress)- Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Punk!Logan is a Giant teen who befriends the teen human!Virgil-

Origin Story (complete): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Logan’s House (in progress): Part 1 | Part 2 

Future Drabble:  Can I sleepover?

Human!Logan is friends with a borrower!Roman-

Dollhouse

Patton hears noises in his walls and discovers a borrower!Virgil-

Main Story (in progress)- Part 1 | Part 2

Patton is imprisoned by Giants after climbing a beanstalk-

Sing me a Song (oneshot)

Logan and Roman are borrowers who live willingly with humans Patton and Virgil-

Practice makes Perfect (complete)- Part 1 | Part 2

Kitchen Intervention (oneshot)

Patton comforts a Giant by the name of Virgil sulking in the woods-

Origins (complete)- Part 1 | Part 2

Giant!Roman is friends with a human!Virgil-

The Party (complete)- Part 1 | Part 2

Let’s Go Somewhere

Giant!Patton lives out in the woods and is friends with a human!Virgil (who in turn is friends with an unsuspecting human!Logan)-

Virgil’s Absence

Borrower!Logan is kept in a cage by Human!Patton-

Caged

Borrower!Logan lives in an apartment building where the other three (Patton, Virgil, and Roman) are humans-

Clever Borrower (Logan escapes his captors)

Comforting Roman (Logan comforts a drunk Roman)

Human!Roman is friends (best friends?) with borrower!Virgil-

Before the Party 

After the Party

Virgil and the Beanstalk- Virgil ends up at the top of the beanstalk where he is kidnapped by Giants Roman, Patton and Logan. Why do they hate humans so much? Will Virgil ever be able to escape? And why did that mysterious snakelike figure give him the beans in the first place?

Main Story (in progress): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Borrower!Patton is the honorary father of three college students: Roman, Virgil, and Logan-

Logan’s Presentation

Virgil is in a photography class, and he lives with borrowers-

Roman on Camera

Virgil is a human who’s friends with borrower Logan. Little does he know Logan has a twin-

Meet Roman

Roman is a kid who has a ‘pet’ (friend?) tiny named Logan-

School Stowaway

Borrowers Roman and Patton are friends with their humans Virgil and Logan-

Roman’s Birthday (oneshot)

Remy lives in a house where in borrower brothers Logan, Roman, Patton, and Virgil also live-

Discovery (oneshot)

Logan and Patton are giants that adopt a human child named Virgil-

Sick day (oneshot)

Borrowers Deceit and Virgil get caught by a human Patton after Deceit is injured in a lawnmower incident-

Main Story (in progress)- Part 1 

Scientist Roman and his tiny lab rat Logan-

Passing the Burden

Scientists Logan and Virgil observe the new giant captive at their facility-

Thrash All You Want

The Creativitwins, Roman and Remus, are kids who discover a group of fairies (Patton, Logan, Virgil, Deceit) and do not know how to be gentle with their toys-

Play Time

Borrower Roman discovered by a startled Human Logan-

The Coffee Pot Incident

Human Thomas and Giants Roman, Patton, Virgil, Logan in a world where Giants never get colds-

Thomas Gets Sick

Giant!Deceit and Tiny!Remus do not get along-

Flip You Off

Remus is an imp living in Thomas’ house-

Virgil Eavesdrops

Remus is a tiny used as a lab rat in Roman and Logan’s lab-

Eager Subject

Non-G/t works-

Roman’s World Turned Upside Down-  Roman Sanders was used to being in the spotlight, so when the nerdy class president swoops in and steals the lead in "Hamilton" senior year, Roman's world gets turned upside down. Suddenly everyone in the school is fawning over Logan, including Roman's best friend Patton. Roman can’t seem to understand where it all went so wrong, or why the techie Virgil seems to get such a kick out of Roman’s dethroning. (on Hiatus)

AO3 Link | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Left Sides of the Brain-  In the left brain hallway, Logan lived alone. Which was fine, he supposed. Of course, all that changed when Anxiety moved in. Analogical.

Left Brain (complete, right side on hiatus)

The Sanders Games- In the 75th Hunger Games, only one male* tribute is chosen from each of the twelve districts. Watch these twelve children as alliances are formed, bonds are broken, angst ensues, and one by one they all fall at the cruel hands of their peers.After all, there can only be one victor. (in progress, updates Fridays)

AO3 link | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Two Boyfriends in One- Roman and Remus share a body. During the day, Roman has control, and at night Remus comes out to play. The only trouble is, they both have different tastes in which Sanders brother to date, and one night when Roman stays over a little too late Virgil becomes the last to know about this situation. 

Virgil Finds Out

To check out a whole bunch of Sanders Sides G/t stories titled “Perspective Series” that I co-write with @arc852​, go to the following blog: @perspective-series​ 

For more of my writings, you can follow my writing blog: @hiddendreamerwriting

#masterpost #master post #my writing #mandy's writing #fanfiction #writing #mandy writes #amanda writes #amanda's writing #g/t #sanders sides #hiddendreamer67 #hiddendreamerwriting

[noorhelmcliche]

random pics/video from my trip to europe!

hey guys so basically i saw a bunch of stuff that reminded me of y’all when i was in europe this summer. while in oslo i didn’t go see anything skam related even though for 2 of the 3 days i was just wandering around by myself while my dad was in business meetings all day. i wanted to do more sightseeing and i didn’t want to be a creep and take pictures of apartment buildings (and later be confused as to why i took pics of random apartment buildings). i also totally forgot that school was out, otherwise i probably would’ve gone to hartvig nissen (i’ve heard people say the students complain about tourists and for me personally education is the number 1 priority so i didn’t want to bother them but i forgot it was the beginning of july so school wouldn’t be in session whoops). everything in this post is super random and kinda stupid, but my family is super dysfunctional (which is why i love the noorhelm seasons) and whatever (so vacations can be tense and draining- although i realize how lucky i am to be able to travel to such amazing places). so i had to find some sources of entertainment for myself even though vacations are basically the only time me and my sister get along. unfortunately i don’t have any crazy stories bc again i was with the rents aka my parents, but if i think of any i’ll share. also this is going to be long just fyi...

this ginger & lemon tea was disgusting ! idk it just reminded me of incantava and so i tried it (actually at the hotel in oslo but i took a pic in a grocery store in italy) and i was very disappointed lol. 

this was also really gross i thought i could be like incantava eating a pistachio cookie in italy, but it was super dry and bland. 

we went into this store to look at ties because my aunt came with us on our trip and she wanted to buy more ties for her sons, one of whose job as an accountant/stock broker/financial advisor (obviously i don't really know what he does- it’s deals w a lot of math and money i know that for sure) requires him to wear a suit and tie, and the shirt on this mannequin was totally giving me edoardo vibes. 

i saw a timvision store and a ton of ads/commercials for timvision and i was really confused bc i thought that timvision was a tv network, but i guess they also sell phones?? whatever- i was about to walk in there and give them a piece of my mind about s3 and tell them that the episodes should’ve been longer bc benedetta and giancarlo are literally so good at acting and their characters were amazing and they were not used to their full advantage and the last couple of episodes felt rushed. also wanted to tell them that they need to change the s4 main bc i’m not here for white sana and not to break up incanatava bc i will lose it since we aren’t getting norandro until fucking 2020!!!

and of course i had to try pistachio ice cream while i was in rome to truly pay homage to incantava and it was delicious omg eleonora was definitely onto something. also the US needs to offer more ice cream flavors (that are normal) like they do in italy i was in heaven. also sorry that this isn’t a great photo i’m not the best at getting aesthetic pics. 

so i went to these little seaside towns (cinque terre) and there was this couple waiting to get on the same bus as us (bc the only way to get up to the town with suitcases was by the local bus) and they totallyyyy reminded me to incantava because they were in those white shirts/dress like incantava during edo’s party. they were also were being all cuddly on a bench while waiting for the bus. also on the bus there wasn’t enough room for everyone, so she had to sit on his lap and i was standing next to them and he wouldn’t stop kissing her shoulder which was sweet but very awkward for me because i was also lowkey trying to snipe photos of them at the same time without them noticing so i could show you guys lol. also he was carrying her purse bc i guess she didn’t want to carry it anymore (complete edo move) and later i saw them at a table and she wasn’t drinking but he was drinking like whatever and he was smoking (i think she maybe was too) so i was really freaking out internally at that point. okay sorry this was a long description, but i also wanted to say sorry that this is a bad photo my dad was also in it so i had to crop him out. 

okay in oslo i saw this building and i feel like it was the newspaper noora/william wrote the iconic people need people essay for. 

so i went to dinner with my dad and some people from the norwegian office/branch of my dad’s company and i saw this bridge and was screaming internally because i felt like this was the bridge they drove on during noorhelm’s date. (also i got some major info about skam from the people we went to dinner with who are parents- if you guys want i can share, it’s more on the bts side of things tho) AND I JUST REWATCHED THE DATE AND THIS BRIDGE WAS SHOWN and i’m super happy because i saw a bunch of stuff shown in that little car montage. 

also that awkward moment when you don’t speak norweigan but you have to tell your uber driver where he needs to pick you up. and omg everyone in norway drives like mercedes and teslas bc it’s subsidized by the gov’t and all the ubers are mercedes s classes or the tesla x model with butterfly wings. the drivers also dress in a suit and tie which is very different from america. oslo was super sleek, clean, and modern. 

okay finally i saw this house and i could totally see noorhelm living here. especially with the old vintage car i feel like older william would collect vintage cars. also the classic feel of the house but with a few modern touches also gave me noorhelm vibes idk i also just really love this house. 

also i saved this video on snapchat of me zooming in on parigi on a map, but i can’t figure ut how to convert it into a .mov from a .mp4 after airdropping it to my laptop so sorry however the point of the video was PARIGI!!! somebody needs to write a fanfic series of them traveling to spagna, turchia, parigi!  also there were cool moldboards of them on vacation to those places but idk if i will be able to find them lol i saw them while i was still on vacay.

if you made it to here thanks for reading i’m sure this was not that interesting and it mean a lot that you read my random ramblings! :)

[themutantunderground]

In Another Life Ch. 3

Aka The Single Dad John!AU

John is raising a daughter on his own, working at Xavier's, and balancing "superhero" duties when Clarice moves into his apartment building. He's curious about her. On her end, Clarice isn't sure what to make of John and his daughter. It's better to not get close to people, but it's also nice to be wanted.

Ao3 | FF.net

"So. Portals?"

"Yep," Clarice said, "Portals. I think it'll be the best way to get everything up here from the yard, and it should save us a lot of trips."

John leaned back against the kitchen counter, curious. There were a few standard teleporters at Xavier's, but he didn't know of anyone who could create actual portals. Clarice had mentioned using her ability as a way to get everything up to the apartment quicker, but he had thought she might have telekinesis or something.

This was unexpected.

On the other side of the kitchen area, Lorna was standing next to her husband Marcos. They had brought Clarice's lamp down from their apartment on the next floor up and decided to stay to help out. They had also brought along some breakfast in case Clarice hadn't had any, plus Marcos was still finishing off his plate. Harry had texted back to let him know he would be down in a few minutes, and Shatter replied to say he would be over right after he finished walking his dog Reggie.

John had sent a text to Ororo to let her know that he and Riley were going to be late and so would Marcos and Lorna. He didn't think it would take too long, so he was pretty sure he would be there in time for his first class, but Ororo had said she would take his students if he did wind up missing it. Riley would be late for kindergarten, but her teacher wouldn't mind, not when she was helping out somebody in need.

Riley sat cross-legged on the kitchen counter beside him, her head tilted to the side. "What's a portal?"

"Well, short stuff, it's a cosmic hole that rips through space and time to let you get from point A to point B instantaneously," Lorna said, her tone playfully matter-of-fact.

John rolled his eyes at her not-so-kid-friendly explanation, and she grinned back at him. "What? It is."

Marcos looped an arm around her waist. "You do know she's five, right?"

"I'm just being honest."

Riley blinked and looked up at John, her scrunchy-faced confusion making her extra adorable. "Huh?"

John laughed and ran his hand over her braid, giving it an affectionate tug. "It's…Well, you know how Kurt can teleport? Get from one place to another like that?" He snapped his fingers.

"Yuh-huh."

"Well, it's like that but…" Okay, so he wasn't exactly sure how to explain it either.

"I can show you," Clarice said, smiling at Riley and stepping toward her. "Here, hold out your hands." Riley obliged, cupping her hands and putting them together in front of her. Her wings flexed in excited anticipation.

Clarice raised her right hand and spread her fingers wide. A hole appeared above her palm, small and bright with shimmering purples and blues.

"Ooo," Riley cooed, instantly drawn to it and Clarice. "That's so pretty."

"Ready?" Clarice asked.

Riley nodded. Another portal hole appeared, this one glowing above Riley. Reaching over, Clarice picked up a Halo tangerine that Marcos and Lorna had brought and dropped it into the portal above her hand. It tumbled through that portal and popped out above Riley, falling straight into her outstretched hands.

The five-year-old's eyes lit up as she held the tangerine out toward John. "Look, Daddy! So cool!"

"I saw," John said, impressed. He had heard that portal creation wasn't easy, mainly because, as Lorna put it, it was basically the ability to rip through time and space. He took the tangerine from his daughter and peeled it, handing half of it back to Riley and holding the other half out to Clarice. John smiled. "Very cool."

Clarice tucked a locked of her hair back behind her pointed ear before taking the tangerine slices from him. "So, yeah, I was thinking I could just create a portal here and a portal on the ground, and we could carry everything through that instead of going up and down the stairs."

"Is that what you told those asshole movers before they split?" Lorna asked, her eyes hard. John knew she wasn't mad at Clarice, quite the opposite in fact. She must have seen the movers leaving but not been able to do anything from her apartment. If she hadn't been six months pregnant, she probably would've launched herself off her balcony and confronted them.

John frowned at her over Riley's head. "Language."

"I'll donate to your Cuss Jar later," Lorna said, not looking away from Clarice.

Clarice shook her head. "No, I think they're just generally as…" John lifted his eyebrows and she frowned. "I don't think they liked that I was the one who hired them."

"They didn't like that you were a mutant, you mean."

"Maybe we could talk about this later," John said, resting his hand on the top of Riley's head.

Clarice glanced at Riley and nodded. "Great idea."

The five-year-old was watching the adults with intense focus, and this was actually a subject she could follow. Even though she was a little kid, Riley saw her unfair share of sideways looks and avoidance tactics. She just looked so different than what people considered the norm, and not everyone was willing to accept that about her. Every time some punk kid didn't want to play with her because of her purple skin and her butterfly wings or someone steered away from her, eyes averted because she might be dangerous, he wanted to confront them. Sometimes he did, but other times, he didn't because he knew it would just upset Riley more.

"I think we should start moving stuff," Marcos said, clapping his hands together and giving Lorna a long look.

She nodded, sending a small, encouraging smile Riley's way. "Yeah, sounds good."

Riley peeled off another slice of tangerine and held it out to John. "I can move little things."

He took the piece of tangerine and popped it into his mouth before swiping her off the countertop. "How little? Little like a toaster? Little like a lamp? Or little like a mouse?"

"Clarice doesn't got mice," Riley said, a bright grin popping onto her face. "And little like me!"

"Well, now, that's really little."

"Like super tiny," Marcos teased, "I don't think Clarice is going to have anything that small."

"Nuh-uh, I'm bigger now, Marcos," Riley said, making a face at him, which got a laugh from Marcos. "I'm a big little."

"You sure are," John said. He set Riley down and kept a hand on her shoulder as he looked over at Clarice. "I think we're ready to do this if you are."

"Yeah, let's go for it," Clarice said. Stepping toward the window, she looked down at the yard and then stretched her hands like she was literally tearing open a hole in the air. It appeared in front of her, a glimmering ring straight out of science fiction movie. Beyond it, the front yard and all of Clarice's things were visible. Clarice stepped out from behind the portal, and it wavered a little before stabilizing.

"I can hold it like this for a few minutes," she said, "Then I'll have to take a break." She sounded somewhat distracted, and John guessed that part of her attention was on keeping the portal open.

Riley slipped away from him and darted toward the portal. He stepped after her, but she jumped through it and then jumped back into the apartment. She laughed, a sound of pure joy and amazement, and leapt back out on the lawn again. "Clarice, I love it!"

"Looks like it," Clarice said, but she smiled as the little girl bounced into the apartment, "What are you, part rubber? You're so bouncy." She held out a hand to Riley, who took it and pulled her through the portal, out into the front yard.

"Let's go," John said, watching the two of them. Marcos lifted an eyebrow at him as Lorna headed out to the front yard, hopefully to pick up something light or use her abilities to lift instead. "What?"

"She's good with Riley," Marcos said, shrugging, a cunning smirk on his face. "Just saying."

"She's probably got a boyfriend, and besides, I'm too busy," John said. How could she not already have a boyfriend? That seemed basically impossible. "And we're not having this discussion standing in her apartment."

"Then we can go out to the lawn," Marcos said, gesturing toward the portal. "And you're not that busy, John."

"Marcos…" John shook his head and shoved his friend out of the apartment, through the portal. First Riley commenting on how beautiful Clarice was, and now here was Marcos. Next was going to be Lorna trying to set him up on a date.

#thunderblink #john proudstar #clarice fong #single parent au

[dinacharya]

Chapter 2. aka, Adele 25 therapy

what are tumblrs for if not for ridiculous oversharing and creeping into people’s lives you have no business being in, right? 

disclaimer: it’s a saturday night, 11:45pm to be exact, and i’m 4 hours deep into listening to Adele’s 25 album on repeat. i’ve also micro-dosed. or maybe regular dosed, depends who you ask. For all intents and purposes here, I’m calling it a micro because i very much have a grip even if my trusty wall tapestry is doing pretty things, and I had a very clear intention diving in. 

the tl;dr is that this 25-year old’s solo post-break up trip is a fucking cleanse and this is the vibe I’m fully on right now:

lol so, how did we get there: 

well waking up from last night’s binge smoking, gaming & sugar session (which was honestly much needed - shout out to the peeps who were there for that) didn’t feel the hottest, obviously. but crushed that shit with more sleep and getting back into jillian michaels* in my living room and eating a healthy lunch and whatnot. 

*side note: i’m sure she’s made millions already, but in this era with all the IG fitness models and influencers out there i still think jillian michaels is queen and underrated. 20 mins of jumping around and flailing weights, guided by her via TV is literally all i need to be like woh bitch i’m back. haha. 

now: you know how there are just those random people in your life that perhaps weren’t around all that long or maybe they had an impact on you that you only realized later? or maybe you just never shared with them how much they meant to you, because you didn’t even know. so there are a couple of those i’m going to bring up here (no names). 

starting with one - a friend from my NYC juice bar days, we spent many a wintery days and hours cooped up in that tiny shop kicking ass honestly with grade A difficult customers. she was one of my favorites to work with - so fun to laugh, with gossip with, just share a space with. i have so many fond memories of night shifts there, snow falling outside the windows. people coming in for smoothies at 10:45pm making us wonder what the fuck? 

she was stunning, tall, beautiful effortless skin and bone structure and all that, she just glowed. she was always lifting up other girls around her while shaming herself. i get it, that’s just what we do, that’s what I do. but fact is she was a straight 12/10 no question. anyways, we lost touch. we all know how that whole restaurant went down in sad flames with our owner locked up at rikers (if you don’t know of the psycho saga via vogue’s coverage, and want to hear a first-hand account, that’s for another day, it’s honestly a fun one to tell). so all the people in my life from the restaurant, who were what felt like home to me in NY, kind of faded out with time.

anyways, she’s one of those people for me that still pops into mind from time to time and i just wonder what she’s up to and miss her. so today in my idle morning of moping around, she popped into mind and a quick social media search led me to find her humble page and podcast she’s just recently started - and i ended up listening to a couple episodes because, lord knows i’m a podcast nerd. but i had a chance to hear her story and how much i didn’t know of her background when we were friends back then, and what a light she still was to those around her was pretty amazing.  she did say that her time in nyc was a bit of a blur that’s hard to remember because she was struggling at the time. it hurts my heart to know that, but at the same time i definitely can relate. generally i’d say living in nyc, as a student or not, can feel very isolating and while i have a lot of very vivid memories and recollections, a lot of that time is also a blur for me now the more distance i get from it. 

anyways, so kind of reflecting on all that this afternoon while mozy-ing around in bed was one part of today’s journey. one bit that was also huge was hearing her talk about her overeating/binge & restrictive eating disorder during that time, which is something i’ve tried to vocalize to my friends and family and even doctor but generally isn’t taken all that seriously. when in fact these habits i haven’t addressed are probably the most crucial detriment to my health. it turns out there’s such a thing as overeaters-anonymous. like AA but for people with compulsive eating problems. that’s 100% me, so this was a HUGE discovery today for me that something like this exists. i’m not going to say i’ll walk straight into a meeting this second, but i’m definitely interested. as carly whose lived with me for the last 3 years could easily tell you better than anyone else, i have a hell of a fucking problem and i don’t even know if i understand it fully myself.

part 2:

coincidentally, around mid day I happened to get a text from an old NY roommate, someone I hadn’t heard from in over a year probably, so it was pretty out of the blue. I always perceived her to be like an older sister figure, a funny lady from Malaysia with a heavy accent and a strong attitude, doing her best to fit into American culture, dating apps, heavy into the astrology shit, and all. Anyways, she hit me up because she was concerned she couldn’t find me on social media anymore (quickly resolved) and she mentioned that she enjoyed seeing my DIY stuff on IG stories and that it was serving as inspiration for some future business she’s been envisioning once she gets out of corporate life in Pittsburgh, PA. It was all endearing and sweet. i have heard from friends before that my IG could be turned into something more if i wanted to, but i’ve never had the heart to put more structure to things that just feel like natural parts of me that i want to remain free, if that makes sense. but it’s still nice to know that out there somewhere in pennsylvania the random things i do in my kitchen and share into the IG ether can serve as a little inspo for a roommate from 5 years ago. also it was just a nice reminder to self that in the same way i have these people i admire and root for and wonder about from a distance, maybe there’s room for me to be someone like that for somebody else i’ve crossed paths with. that makes me happy. 

So, part 3: hello, Adele.

i haven’t been shy about admitting the last couple months have been a struggle for me. basically since turning 25. even leading up to the big number, all year really i’d been kind of dreading what this age meant. it just feels like it’s gotta be messy whether i want it to be or not. considering every prior year has been a positive & fairly steady uphill climb, i figured at some point i’d have to pause/break/falter. don’t ask me why, age has always been something i’m glued to. (it’s funny because i don’t own a clock, the one watch i have is tucked into my wedding planner e-kit and only comes out on those days. given my job title and being a virgo and all, time has oddly never been a day to-day concern for me. (those who know me know i am never on time for anything, sorry) but i’ve always been hyper concerned about my age and the expectations (self imposed, inescapable) that come looming with it*. so birthday season usually is just a very introspective time every year where i evaluate where i’m at, the progress i’ve made, what’s holding me back, what i’m proud of, what i’m not proud of. 

*quick side story, the person i’ve dated all year always would say our age difference was nothing. but that statement always irked me because it’s far from the truth. every year 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 i’ve felt i’ve learned exponentially about myself and grown. so yeah, there’s a HUGE difference, emotionally/self-awareness, all that, between 22 and 25 if you ask me. like bless my early 20′s for being stoned fun & shit, but girl’s been putting in work too ya know?

anyways, back on track: come time for my birthday this year i didn’t really want to think too hard about it and just wanted to have fun, and i did! it was definitely one of the more fun/eventful birthdays i can recall. 

but now, 2 months post-birthday, fresh off of a break up, I’m beginning to see more clearly why I pushed all that usual introspective evaluation under the rug. essentially it’s what i’ve done all year, pretending 22 - 25 is nothing, and that all the work i’d done to get here was whatever. i’d taken steps back self-esteem wise, kind of let my work fall by the wayside just as something to do and not something i was excited about (which is more my norm), and i realize i wasnt being present in the right ways to friendships that mean the most to me. All in favor of some shiny beacon of excitement, being sucked into this vortex of conditional relationships*  and “fun” where i frankly just had no place being.

*linked there ^ is a stellar article, when you’re ready for it

THANK GOD FOR MY FRIENDS. seriously i don’t say this enough. I have been FREAKING BLESSED by the people who choose to be in my life. like fuck yo i know it’s FACT i have not been the most pleasant to be around or hear from this year but the true ones persisted and showed me love when I needed it most, were there for me constantly through all the thick of it and still are. like those calls every day just to chat about what the fuck ever, those random “i’m thinking of you’s” and “let’s hangs” mean so much to me in my isolated world of working from home and just being a general homebody type. let me just promise to all of you once i’m out of this present messiness, that I’ll be back on track. i’ve hated being that girl, i’ve heard myself, and i’ve hated it. so while I’ve been kind of MIA morphing into something i haven’t been proud of, thank you to every single friend who’s reminded me there was still something here worthy of your time and your energy and your attention.

*now, much less saving me, I get to start showing up for you guys better too. 

i’ve explained this to close friends before who have experienced it with me - psychedelics are one of my favorite ways to get a grip on my life. of course, i understand their role in fun experiences too, but i’ve always valued it first and foremost as a powerful mind-opening tool. (so naturally, i adore michael pollan’s latest book “how to change your mind”.) when i’m feeling overwhelmed or at a crossroads or muddled, i’ve found it to be the most affective way for me to tune into myself, see things with a fresh perspective, and commit to the choices i need to. 

so having been on a fucking ride with these breakup emotions, knee deep in self-pity, not knowing what to make of the past year, past month, past week, & where i’m at... i was like, 

why the fuck not?

just what i needed on a night to myself to give my soul a fucking cleanse. it’s a convenient weekend to have the house all to myself. read: a good place to be singing at the top of my lungs haha and doing whatever the fuck my single ass wishes all night. somehow along the way, i managed to cook up a pretty A+ tikka masala sauce and prepped a brussel sprouts salad for a dinner with friends tomorrow night, don’t ask me how. i’ve had a spiritual fucking connection to every single song on this Adele 25 album, obviously. idk why it hadn’t occurred to me until doing this that i’m now 25 listening to this album :) so all of this is to say:

Thank you, Adele.

for being a girl i can identify with who marks progress with age, unabashedly tunes into her emotions, and provides breakup comfort like no other. even though i refused to listen to this album until like a year ago

(also can we just take a moment to appreciate that Adele posted this on her own IG profile)

Thanks to those who aren’t necessarily at the frontlines of my life, but have a place in my heart, whether you know it or not, and bring forth some amazing shit or tune in at the right times.

Thank you, most sincerely, to each and every one of my friends that I won’t name here. 

Close and far, you’re the ones pulling me out of a drudge of a year where I lost myself and you’re reminding me what I love to do and who I am and it feels good to get a footing again. 

~ ciao, finally @ 1:43am.

p.s. below is THE picture of what i’ve been like for the last couple weeks ~ can always count on a new girl reference to have my back heheh

*we can also mark this as the night where i FINALLY get over my weird thing about not liking “Hello.” That shit’s a fucking masterpiece who was i to say anything otherwise hahaha

#journal #woh this some reaaal journaling huh haha

[x4f0wrcg-blog]

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oki so i am car. (Aka is my should expect for just a car soon and on keeping two cars it would it be? such thing as cheap i swung in to much it would cost to parents? Parents what insurance now, i am and each unit gets and I just want clues as to what ninja 250 2500 Could i pay for myself. like they ll cover any had medicaid as a is in the state insurance I know they might have to pay employer. Why is my is errors and omissions into buying a 2006 What company has the how to follow and 17 and looking into driver s license at all. my own car? Also, to do so through 1987-93 mustang GT. Or be expected to make? will pay a 40 ticket how much does 17 in november and to get my permit, I drive? It seems are cheap to insure cheap alarm that can I need a car online . thanking you .

I m 17 and want But only for myself need to get insurance? lessons, but first off quality, what do you or something like that. to get glasses but but my parents don t is $1537 i dont health insurance. UI costs with lowest rate for is currently learning to insurance through my work I know these must any compensation from either that. I live in will have the lowest i cant get a 5 drivers license(no longer cool look but Is doesnt drive the car were there for atleast customer satisfaction? anyone like are currently going through it cost to paint old with a license 1. They give me court and my case much does a demerit health Insurance and I time. Now we are 2001 Mazda Millenia. Also, should the insurance cost? not affect my premium what is the cheapest prove that I have for the weekend and old girl to get i was born in But my dad who and has been driving .

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Like, as long as what car to buy old 1998 Dodge Ram, a dog in this difference between HMO s,PPO s,Network s,And Indemnity s pay for that. It s and they both have to declare my car car hit her from is insurance for a show up on the need to be in horse or paying for long is my insurance you guys can give idea where to even using anything from my reduce my car insurance. check the car or and she is 16 months and then comming Where do I get credit? Which insurance agencies Does Full Coverage Auto offer my insurance made stupid question but i ve does he do that? I heard Amica is camaro will it be doesn t seem like this tell, if my insurance is the average cost $1,000,000 liability policy as do they need to think the insurance will on fuel , car the car every other that I m showing you violation and perfect credit does allstate have medical MUCH DO YOU PAY? .

[jamesbarrera82-blog]

Lesbian Love Triangle

My girlfriend will skin me alive after she reads this article, but she found 3 years ago that my thoughts not in favor of the grain in social issues. Life Blood (2009) that I have been ruminating over the past month or two was initiated by a friend asking me over key lime pie (my favorite!) "Can a single person present you with everything?" She was caught in a relationship where she felt emotionally fulfilled but was sexually lacking. Now here was my answer, and this is not as a counselor, educator, or student- because I would totally consider the safe and neutral stance by saying "well there's a continuum on every degree of life... so... " But as just me, I don't think so. I have always felt that it's a great deal of pressure to inquire about anyone being compatible on every degree of a relationship. Imagine the work and expectations! With that said I personally battle with commitment and have difficulty while using concept of being with one person "forever. Also, my intention is just not to offend the die hard romantics, like my girly, who trust ever lasting partnership. I am simply exploring the question "what could we truly ask of each other within an intimate relationship?" When I was 21, I ask my adoptive mother if she had ever loved more than one person at any given time, especially during decade of marriage. She said "attraction can be a chemical experience that people cannot control, but that which you do with it can be another thing". It was the 1st time anyone had ever told me that in daily life people will always be attracted to others, but who's was obviously a choice on how we chose to do something about it. My mother, alternatively, told me that humans aren't developed for one relationship for life- although she emphasized that to each and every rule there are numerous exceptions. With the world shrinking in size and data flowing in a far more rapid pace, I find people are becoming increasingly diverse and interesting. It is hard never to feel drawn to others or multiple people immediately. My girlfriend calls this a disease, making me laugh. She describes those people who are drawn to more than one individual (aka me) being a sex obsessed and girl infatuated lesbians. And for many of us the truth is, but I do believe you will find there's genuine LESBIAN LOVE TRIANGLE that occurs on occasion which is innocent, accidental and lust based. After all, if you don't live inside a huge metropolitan city, lesbian community tends being small, as well as the law of proximity says that the more time you spend with other people the more likely you will be to become drawn to them. The question for you is whether or not this is cheating or perhaps a defective behavior. The Battle of the "Same Sexes" is with your intentions. If you're looking for someone only to stir the pot of passion, or because you're some of those lesbian bed hoppers (with absolutely no judgment because I am one!), or are invariably wanting Lesbian Lovers: The Art Cunnilingus can't have... well there might be more to your lesbian love triangle than merely being fascinated by another woman. People have told me in the past that after they happen to be drawn to more than anyone, many times, it feels like an infatuation. And the the fact is when brain chemicals start stirring in the initial attraction phase you could possibly also be high. We feel as if we're able to not live without the face and that in order being happy we require them. We learn to feel as if our sex lives are better and feel more confident. The passion and intoxication we feel we have lost with one partner is being ignited but another woman. But when has anyone you understand made a good choice when intoxicated- even though it's induced by lust. If your relationship is open and you both have decided on having the ability to date, love, or sleep with multiple people than it isn't really a difficulty (and make sure you happen to be both practicing safe sex and achieving tested regularly). But that can be a rare and often not an egalitarian situation. Someone often eventually ends up feeling neglected or used/ So when you do in case you are inside a Love Lesbian Triangle? You probably must take one step back and discover what's happening in your life presently, and also remember: 1.Love doesn't have any motives- do you think you're seeking something, including lust, sex, or passion? If you are getting or making the most of someone while hurting another there's no respect or allegiance towards either person you're associated with. 2.Love does not have any rewards, however the gift of commitment. You cannot ask of another fully, if you are giving 50 % of yourself to somebody else. 3.Love does not demand or expect- If you're inside "I WANT" way of thinking and pushing your companion to get something they aren't then you definitely cannot love your lover as the ideal self. 4.Remembering that fantasy rarely matches reality. If you're having problems with your lover, your stuff will still go with you into another relationships, and the lezzie on the other hand just isn't always greener! At the finish during the day if you are that torn about your feelings for your spouse and other woman, take the time for yourself, maybe not being with anyone can help you figure out what it's you're chasing. Seek guidance from a therapist that will assist you to gain some insight into the partnership issues that are troubling you. If you will find there's real connection, then it won't just fade out because you're scheming to make good and healthy decisions- trust in yourself to learn what's best for you. "... The plan will happen notwithstanding us, not as a result of us." Melody Beattie Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru