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javaelemental · 2 months

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(Netflix) Avatar: The Last Airbender, Ep. 1

I just watched the first episode of Netflix's live action Avatar. Spoilers, folks.

Well, it was certainly pretty, I'll give it that. The FX/CGI are great. The bending looks good.

The cast looks good, too. I mean, one episode, mostly young actors, so I don't have much to say one way or the other about them yet.

I do have one thing to say and that is that I was not super impressed with any of the adult actors. It was kind of like they all got together and decided "Look, this is for kids, we're gonna need to dumb this down a lot. We better act out loud and in primary colors or the kiddies ain't gonna get it."

But also, didn't love Iroh. He was just kind of flat. I'm not very familiar with the actor, but I know he's been in a bunch of things and I know he's supposed to be good. For now I'm gonna go ahead and side eye the writing and the directing here on his behalf, because I think they're not giving him much to work with or very good direction.

I get why they decided to start with showing the Air Temple being attacked. I can totally see the writer's room being like, "Oh, neat, we can show all that, it'll be dramatic and scary and show the stakes and show off the firebenders and blahblahblah." I get it. I just don't think it works. We were a handful of episodes in before we saw that in the cartoon, and by then, we knew the characters, liked them, and were invested in them. We knew what had happened because Katara and Sokka had talked about it, but Aang didn't know yet, not really, so we knew he was gonna be upset. Like, there was a little dread and anticipation built up there. And when we finally got to it, man, it hit like a freight train, because we cared about everyone. Putting all that right up front before we give a crap about anybody involved really robbed it of it's impact.

Frankly, so did actually showing it. In the cartoon we only saw the aftermath and had to fill in the horror for ourselves. Protip for baby writers: Sometimes rubbing the audience's face in the tragedy is not the best way to tell them what happened. Sometimes you can just show them the emptiness that's left behind, and if you've done your character work right, that's going to hit harder than damn about anything else you can do.

I dunno, guys. I don't have a good feeling about the rest of this season. I'm hoping this thing just has a real bad case of pilot-itis, if that's still a thing in the streaming age.

I didn't go into this expecting a shot-for-shot remake of the cartoon. I expected them to change a lot of things, and put their own spin on everything, and that's fine. It's a remake, you're allowed to make it your own thing. But... when you're remaking a beloved story, you can change a lot, but you have to at least bring the original's heart and soul along for the ride. And uh, I didn't see a lot of that happening in this first episode. Fingers crossed that it gets better, folks.

#ATLA #Avatar: The Last Airbender #Netflix #Spoilers #Netflix Avatar #NATLA

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howdoib · 1 year

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Happy Holiday Truce @banchagu !!! I'm really rusty at writing but when I saw "Kitty and Johnny" and "Ghost part" my brain went into punk history brainrot mode. I really wish I had the time to flesh this out better for you, and I'm not sure I did all the topics justice.

Regardless, I really hope you enjoy!!

__________________

Kitty remembers the first time back in '76 when she still went by Kathleen and she didn't know a Siouxsie from a Shane- She knows she ain't supposed to remember, maybe it's 'cause she died so slowly, bleedin out on the ground next to Johnny; he died on impact. But she remembers the first time that she felt the rumblin' beneath her not too worn and nothin fancy shoes.

The ol' boarded up building that she thought used to be a smoke shop had been promising new business for a while but she'd never seen it before was lit up and the street around it shook. It sounded like a riot.

She remembers the shiny new cruisers (not that she had known that name back then) parked in a neat little line up front. Beat-up cars parked in reckless zigzags and more than a couple of lonely bicycles tied, chained, and just sitting against anythin' that even slightly allowed it.

And she remembers walkin' closer to it, weaving across the street, tiptoeing around the shiny bikes to glance on through the windows.

Inside was a hazy den of smoke and flashing lights- this was before the punk scene got too wild but back then she didn't know quite so much- with moody stompers shouting and sceaming. After looking for a minute she had realized they were singing along to a barely audible guitar. The stompers were dancing, she had thought then a little mad, but she had leaned closer all the same tryin' to make out what had them all excited.

"You can go inside ya know."

It hadn't meant much to her back then, but this was the first time she met him, his voice all gravely and smokey, a cigarette in his left hand. He was even slighter back then, all bony awkward elbows in too big clothes. His coat- the same one he wears now the one he died in was even bigger on him, the poor leather hem dragging on the ground. Maybe the meeting would have been better, more impactful, if he hadn't been leaning against a wall and she hadn't been craning her neck to peer through a tiny window. But she only remembered thinking this asshole before stomping over to the door.

She'll never forget this moment, if she dies again, somehow, after her souls faded into less than dust, this memory will stick to the wind, cemented for eternity- or somethin' like that. But when she opened that door the casphony made sense. The musty stompers all clad in denim and safety pins surrounded her and she couldn't see the stage but she knew this sound. Not because she'd heard it before but in the pounding in her chest when she was angry and the drive in her feet before she jumps. Yet somehow in it's familiarity it was overwhelming, awe-inspiring to the point where she felt like she had opened a door to a roaring river and then stepped inside.

Kitty wishes she could say she remembers that night crystal clear- but it's all 'twixt lil scraps of images and things she objectively knows happened. An' unlike Johnny it's not 'cause she died that she forgot. Just that the whole night was the same empty ecstatic feeling of breathing for the first time.

She knows she had stood around a while 'fore Johnny had somehow got her to dance. She remembers this one wicked blue haired stomper lookin her dead in the eyes and piercing her straight through the ear with a safety pin.

Johnny and her had blown the joint once it got too late, him sayin' how she didn't need to be involved with all that stuff. She had tucked her face into his lean back and clung on for dear life. It was a kiddie ride but back then she'd never touched a motorcycle much less ridden one. High on life and too caught up in it to head home, they mosied around town.

When the wind blew through her wooly school blazer and carried the raspy muttering of Johnny, Kitty remembered deciding this would be her eternity.

It wasn't. Not yet at least. Kitty had woken up then next day ice cold in a park all snuggled up 'gainst Johnny an' his bike. Even back then he'd called it 13- didn't know why people couldn't figure out that the man who claimed his own shadow wouldn't claim his bike, but Kitty had been around too long to not realize they were all fucking idiots. Lovingly.

Back then though, she had just desperately tried to remember the night before- twasn't nothin' bad, just her and Johnny clicking like that. She wasn't even slightly sorry when she gyped with Johnny and they rode around town all day.

They had cussed out neighbors and fogies and snuck their way Ol' Freddie's yard, just to see what was back there (a worn down shed and scraggly bushes of molly, Johnny snuck some in his pocket).

As 4 rolled around she met his crew; a silly bunch of goofs, all covered in safety pins and shitty tattoos. Kitty remembers the first time she rode with the pack. Everybody howling an' actin' like crazed wild things; they had been playin it up a bit for the new gal, but the shit they would get into together certainly topped this Rowley brigade. The record shop was near close when they rolled in and looted, pulling out records with labels like "Nipple Erectors" and "Hammersmith Gorillas". Good taste. Back then she thought they were fucking loons.

After it closed they had all rumbled their way around lookin for something cheap to spend their pocket lint on. What they ended up actually finding was a wide storm drain that Johnny had lept down from the short bridge dragging her by the hand down with him too.

"First dibs!" He exclaimed with a wicked grin. Kitty hadn't known it was possible for someone her age to be missing so many teeth.

She kinda liked it. Who would've thought she'd spend her whole life and afterlife with this same dumbfuck?

Sittin' in that drain with Johnny, their legs kicking to and fro, and the gang crouched on the banks, was serene. Kitty had a picture still of her an' Johnny, just sitting there. A tall kid from their gang, Galaxy, they went by, kept pullin out the funniest faces and a sullen girl kept deadpanning things down so that even as Kathy lost track of the conversation she still caught herself roarin with laughter. When footfall passed overhead they all hushed up, but Johnny kept grinning, starin' each of 'em in the eyes trying the break the first laugh. It worked too. They were lucky back then. They didn't get caught this time.

The sun would begin to set and Kitty would have Johnny drive her on home with the promise of seein' her at school the next day (she had doubted, she went to a Catholic girls school). At home she got the first scolding of many before she packed up her things and left. But even that day, before she was used to it, Kitty remembered not feelin' an ounce of regret.

To her surprise, the next day, she did see Johnny, all dressed in a skirt with his hair pulled back in braids. She punched him straight in the face. She didn't get it till her upperclassman, Mary, put her arm around "Joanne's" shoulders and dragged him off to class.

She had chewed her lip raw thinking about it back then, in her first period class. When that final bell rang she had already sprinted over to the shed behind the school- she had bet Johnny stashed his bike there.

Back then she was an arrogant piece of shit and so the first thing out of her mouth was:

"What're you doin' at a school like this? Trying to perv on girls?"

Johnny had given her that little half smirk of his, his canine looking sharp. "I'm 13 for a reason."

He grabbed her hand as he swung his leg over the bike

"You wanna ride or you wanna talk, Chatty Cathy?"

Kathleen had had almost stood there too long, his hand began to pull away.

"Call me Kitty," she said, "And you're lucky to know someone like me."

And yeah, maybe Kitty regrets sayin' that kinda shit back then, but they were both just stupid kids trying their absolute hardest to be cool. An' even if it was cruel Kitty was glad that he got it. That he took her on that bike and they went far. Maybe they took it too far.

She remembered when they rode around like madmen, only getting wilder after they both dropped out, together. Livin' on the "no plates no rules" mindset. As long as they could outrun it an' make it to their next thrill, that was all that mattered.

One time when they were running from the police, Kitty hollering in his ear, they drifted over 70 miles per hour- which may sound like nothin' but with a passenger it ain't nothin'. Kitty remembered leaning so hard her elbow almost touched the ground and a hysterical laugh breaking out as she squeezed her eyes shut for the first time in a long time.

Since then they only got more reckless and the rest is history. Maybe they shouldn't have tried that last turn in such a tight ally and maybe Kitty shouldn't have gotten them in the mess in the first place.

But when she woke up next to Johnny again, sky green or not, she didn't care.

That first day she remembered shaking him awake and calling him Johnny, and him saying he didn't know who the fuck Johnny was. An' when she told him everythin' and called home her Johnny, she remembered this-

"Maybe I was your Johnny, but I ain't nobody's Johnny until I decide to be. But you can stick around if ya like." He held out his hand again, as he was already on the cursed bewitching bike. She grabbed on.

"Call me Kitty, and 13's my lucky number."

He'd remember everything later after they'd ridden for a while and he told her she'd be his ride and die for death. He never remembered that wicked turn or why they tried it in the first place. Kitty would tell him someday- he wasn't so lucky to know a girl like her.

_____________________

Bonus sketch of storm drain photo

#phandomholidaytruce #holiday truce 2022 #danny phantom #kitty and johnny dp #whosvladagain saves #dp #did u see the ember cameo?

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madraleen · 5 months

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The Promised Neverland - Kaiu Shirai/Posuka Demizu Vol.13-15: A complimenting commentary.

-oh yeah, that's too much kiddie reminiscence, yugo and lucas ain't making it out. they're gonna blow the place up like gilda threatened. that's my prediction

-oof i'm rooting for you guys, but it ain't looking good

-okay, not gilda's explosion, but an explosion all the same.

-one asset of this manga is that it can make the truly sad moments pack a punch. like the separation with norman, ray's intention to die, emma seeing yugo. they’re noticeably more effective than everything else. even if you don't care up to that point, they still make you sit up.

-ah yes the obligatory afterlife scene, nice

-oof, that was a lot. that was heavy.

-is it truly minerva?

-i'm sorry, mr minerva sent two kids that couldn't handle WILD demons to find us...? with no real protection...? that sounds irresponsible.

-hayato's design, i really like it

-i guess hayato is good at stealth but still, they were so powerless against wild demons, what is minerva or "minerva" teaching these kids. i guess not combat, but STILL, he sent them out there

-zazie killing the demons about to eat emma, what a great panel

-a town inside a tree, that's cool

-NORMAN?! also, lol, norman? he grew like three years more than the others. he's a young man (in appearance), and emma and ray are children.

-they've earned that hug, emma and norman, they've earned it so hard

-"oh, my left ear? i left it at the house." lmao, what a way to put it

-gosh, i remember so few names, it's such a huge cast, i'm sorry.

-yeah, i expected ray to hit norman :D

-aww bb ray crying <3

-experimenting on children? hayato a fast runner.

-dude, the babies hanging from the ceiling imagery, the experimented-on children. dark.

-is this the part where we clap for norman's exposition monologue? 'cause it was a good one. too good to be true even.

-aw ray, norman and emma falling asleep together, my heart

-ray with the questions, that's why i like ray. a voice of level-headedness, but not your typical aloofness. just more-aloof-than.

-yeah, see, that's nice, ray knowing what emma truly wants, because ray's lived with emma and grown with emma and seen emma grow for two years now, and norman hasn't

-the dynamic i'm getting is, norman and emma can cordially disagree, and norman won't back down but won't stop emma from doing her thing, and ray is emma's ride-or-die, so whatever emma says, he'll be beside her even if he doesn't quite agree, because he just can't let her face the risk alone

-this is interesting, because it's emma vs everyone and it's never been that way. it's always been emma WITH everyone.

-we stan a friend that meets you where you are, not where *he* is or where he thinks you should be (ray and emma, i'm talking about them).

-lol, not me following the 'how to draw ray' tutorial, lmao

-hm? i'm sorry, hm? barbara eats demon meat...?

-yeah, if emma hears of norman's plan, she'll blow a gasket. back-stabbing alliances. that's not emma stuff.

-hmmm, norman detaching himself from emma instead of opening up and hugging her back. hmmmmm. hm i say.

-ha, my prediction for cordial disagreement and emma and ray going on their separate mission was spot-on!

-okay, an imprisoned demon in norman's basement wasn't what i expected to see when zazie opened that door, niiice

-"that's not what the demons are like," barbara says, a panel away from transforming into a kimetsu no yaiba demon

-yeah, because no matter what, norman technically killed the mass farm kids, or let them die. even if he had no other choice, even if it was seen as merciful in comparison, their deaths are still by his actions and norman actually does have a conscience.

-i'm low-key curious to see how s2 of the anime screwed up as much as i've seen reported, bc the manga structure works really well.

#the promised neverland #the promised neverland manga #manga #manga commentary

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noddytheornithopod · 11 days

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huh

#phineas and ferb

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shinygoku · 1 month

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thoughts on cgi episodes of ttte? I'm curious to hear whatever praises or criticisms you have for that era of the series

Apologies for the delay, I started this but felt it was too Stream-of-Consciousness to be worth publishing. After a virtual pair of scissors it's much better but it's not one of my best metas. Still, I sure have Thoughts! So if you happen upon this month late answer, enjoy~

I think, much like the model series, it's quite the mixed bag... but even at its best None of the CGI episodes or specials reach the early pinnacle set by Seasons 1 and 2.

I'm famously[?] s3 Critical but I'm much more likely to wanna watch one'a the episodes where David Mitton was director than anything CGI (...depending on the episode lmao, some are nuclear waste as early as 3 and a lot in 6 lmaooo) -- that's in part due to my immense fondness and respect for the scale models and practical effects.

This ain't me ragging on CGI, but it is me saying that for Thomas the live action Supermarionation style works best for it. The CGI itself allows for things that wouldn't be possible [or finacially sensible], and that's good! But I feel like it became a crutch for the series to continue spinning wheels without covering new track, y'see?

Like, the Engines as models are still limited in some of the same ways irl Steam Locos are - they have to have track to run on, there's an upper limit for the rakes they pull, you can't bash them into walls without heavy damage, things like that. This also helped inform the post-Awdry stories they ran, it's the kind of limitation that makes writing more robust.

This doesn't make it immune to running out of ideas, of course, but it's a reliable guideline. The model series very much running out of plots is why I don't watch any post season 7!

With CGI there's an "all bets are off" aspect where they could use it for more complex settings, scenarios and characters. But a rot still started to creep in and hit the nadir with BWBA, where they just do whatever a weird ass mandate insists upon.

There's also the moving faces debate, I suppose. CGI letting them lip sync and giving them individual voices was another big game changer. But was it needed? The books lend themselves so well to the Narrator style (when it's someone like Ringo, even better hahaha), but the more distinct voices there are, the more room there is for something to sound ...off.

So let's sum up some CGI pros:

Increased possibility of complex designs, mechanisms and scenery

Episodes should be easier to produce and more effort could go into other areas

If lucky, the voice acting will be good

And some cons:

The majority of the CGI is still pretty daggy looking, and bad CGI ages it much more than seeing the edge of a physical set

The episodes either don't do much interesting with the freedom, or go too far and do stupid shit like an action movie bridge jump or the whole engine rocking back and forth like a kiddie ride when they talk

The voice acting isn't well suited to the stories... or it ain't good at all!

I mean it genuinely when I say not only is 2D Animation better for a less-realistic version of Thomas, but AEG actually going as balls to the wall is an improvement over the dying thrashes of BWBA. The CGI shoulda held itself to more realism, but didn't, but at least Very Cartoony Trains having extendable spider limbs is more consistant with itself.

...In summation, I am Not A Fan of CGI Thomas. Which is why I limit my input of CGI eps, honestly! I ain't saying everything about it sucks, but the collective whole of it isn't good enough to keep me watching.

#Thomas Meta #I don't wanna use my regular tags but that's cause this feels unrefined #The main point of this is that Thomas ideally should be Tokusatsu #'Cinders and Ashes! The Colour Timer means we only have 3 more minutes of Coal left to use!'

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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 1 year

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Ahhh thanks for answering my ask about your fav moments!!! Personally my fav chapter was ch 12 of sweet girl. I loved it so much and I love that reader is so accepting of daemon and that he shows her his true colors. I love that he's sweet but not too sweet! I just read the preview for Ride and can I just say HOT! 🔥🔥🔥!!!! I'm excited to read it! I cant wait to see him with the kiddies and the two of them fooling around! Good luck with your writing 😊❤️

I'm so happy you liked it; it felt like a real culmination of the character work I'd been building up to, and such a great way to draw that arc of the story to a close. Plus, the smut was grotty and fun, haha! He's his own brand of nice; it ain't conventional, but it sure is passionate!

I really like the idea that there's no super-huge conflict about Daemon's more violent tendencies; I mean, I imagine I'll explore this at a later point, but the main focus is really that Reader already knows what her uncle is like. She grew up on stories of him, and spent time with him as a child - and TBH she's not really had the assertiveness to assume she could 'change' him, and nor does she really want to.

Hopefully 'Ride' will be great in terms of character development AND fun smut, haha! I'm at around 1700 words right now, aiming to get to around 4000 so we'll see how it goes! Thank you so much :)

#fanfiction comments

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forgottenpnffacts · 2 years

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The kids like to play video games.

#phineas and ferb #pnf #phineas flynn #ferb fletcher #buford van stomm #baljeet tjinder #isabella garcia shapiro #kids #She's the Mayor #Gaming the System #Ain't No Kiddie Ride #Brain Drain

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dwampyverse-tournaments · 1 year

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History of the Tri-State Area vs. Ain’t No Kiddie Ride

#pnf #pnf songs #pnf songs tournament #phineas and ferb #pnf music #dwampyverse #poll #poll bracket #poll tournament #tournament poll #dwampyverse tournament #don #where's pinky?#danny jacob #ain't no kiddie ride

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kegiostoyslut12345 · 2 years

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The Search by NF

"Hey, Nate, how's life?" I don't know, it's alright I've been dealin' with some things like every human being And really didn't sleep much last night (last night) "I'm sorry", that's fine I just think I need a little me time I just think I need a little free time Little break from the shows and the bus rides (bus rides), yeah Last year I had a breakdown Thoughts tellin' me I'm lost gettin' too loud Had to see a therapist, then I found out Somethin' funny's goin' on up in my house Yeah, I started thinkin' maybe I should move out You know, pack my car, take a new route Clean up my yard, get the noose out Hang up my heart, let it air out (air out) I've been searchin' "What does that mean, Nate?" I've been learning Grabbin' my keepsakes, leavin' my burdens Well, I brought a few with me, I'm not perfect Lookin' at the view like, this concerns me Pickin' up the cues, right? I'm quite nervous Hate it when I lose sight, life gets blurry And things might hurt me It's prolly gonna be a long journey, but hey (but hey) It's worth it, though Cold world out there, kids, grab your coats Been a minute, I know, now I'm back to roam Lookin' for the antidote to crack the code Pretty vivid, I admit it, I'm in classic mode Don't need pity given to me, but I can't condone Talkin' down to me, I'ma have to crack your nose for crackin' jokes I'm lookin' for the map to hope, you seen it? (You seen it?) Been makin' a whole lot of changes Wrote a song about that, you should play it I get scared when I walk on these stages I look at the crowd and see so many faces, yeah That's when I start to get anxious That's when my thoughts can be dangerous That's when I put on my makeup and drown in self-hatred Forget what I'm saying, and

Where'd the beat go? Oh, ain't that somethin'? Drums came in, you ain't see that comin' Hands on my head, can't tell me nothin' Got a taste of the fame, had to pump my stomach Throw it back up like I don't want it Wipe my face, clean up my vomit OCD, tryna push my buttons I said don't touch it, now y'all done it I can be critical, never typical Intricate with every syllable, I'm a criminal Intimate, but never political, pretty visual Even if you hate it, I'll make it feel like you're in it, though You call me what you wanna, but never call me forgettable Leave you deep in thought, I could never swim in the kiddie pool Way that I been thinkin' is cinematic, it's beautiful Man, I don't know if I'm makin' movies or music videos (videos, videos, videos)

Yeah, the sales can rise Doesn't mean much though when your health declines See, we've all got somethin' that we trapped inside That we try to suffocate, you know, hopin' it dies Try to hold it underwater but it always survives Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise Then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies You don't relate to that? Must not be as crazy as I am The point I'm makin' is the mind is a powerful place And what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way It's pretty cool, right? Yeah, but it's not always safe Just hang with me, this'll only take a moment, okay? Just think about it for a second, if you look at your face Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great You'll never be great, not because you're not, but the hate Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith (woo!)

I am developin', take a look at the benefits Nothin' to meddle with, I can never be delicate Am I even relevant? That depends how you measure it Take a measurement, then bag it up and give me the evidence Pretty evident, dependable can never be tentative I'm a gentleman, depending on if I think you're genuine Pretty elegant, but not afraid to tell you to get a grip Proper etiquette, I keep it to myself when I celebrate, ah (ah) It's that time again Better grab your balloons and invite your friends Seatbelts back on, yeah, strap 'em in Look at me, everybody, I'm smilin' big On a road right now that I can't predict Tell me "Tone that down, " but I can't resist Y'all know that sound, better raise your fist The search begins, I'm back, so enjoy the trip, huh

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clapperboardtalk · 2 months

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MEG 2 : THE TRENCH (2023)

Meg 2: The Trench (2023) - A Review with Bite (or a Nibble)

Title: Meg 2: The Trench

Genre: Action/Sci-Fi

Year: 2023

Country: United States/China

Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham), our favorite monster-punching oceanographer, is back for another round in Meg 2: The Trench. This time, he's leading a research team on a deep-sea dive, only to encounter not only the colossal prehistoric shark, the Meg, but also a shady mining operation. Think Indiana Jones meets Jaws, with a dash of Chinese action star Wu Jing thrown in for good measure.

The acting is, well, let's say "familiar." Statham delivers his usual brand of tough-guy charm, while Wu Jing provides the capable sidekick. The camerawork and CGI are serviceable, with some impressive underwater sequences.

Here's the deal: if you're looking for an action movie that doesn't take itself too seriously, Meg 2 might just be your cup of tea (or ocean trench, as it were). The action is over-the-top, the cinematography is decent, and the acting is...there.

However, be prepared to leave your scientific thinking at the door. This movie is about as realistic as a shark riding a jet ski, and the plot is about as subtle as a hammerhead to the head. The villain's motivations are about as deep as a kiddie pool, and the whole thing feels like a been-there, chomped-that experience.

Overall, Meg 2 is a 2 out of 5 star movie. It's not going to win any awards, but it might provide a mindless escape for action fans.

Netizens were divided. Some enjoyed the popcorn thrills, while others found it predictable and lacking in originality. The movie made a decent $397.7 million at the box office, against a reported budget of $130 million.

Fun fact: Did you know that the original title for the movie was "Shark 2"? Thankfully, they decided to go with something a little more evocative (and less generic).

So, should you watch Meg 2: The Trench? If you're looking for a thought-provoking cinematic masterpiece, this ain't it. But if you just want to see Jason Statham punch a giant shark in the face, then dive right in! Just don't expect to find any hidden pearls of wisdom at the bottom of this ocean.

#movie #sci fi #action #over the top #meg 2 : the trench 2023

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sonic-spirit · 5 months

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Working as a horseback riding instructor, I walk a lot at my job. Enough that I pretty reliably consider my hard days to be 11 mile days. "Man, this day kicked my ass! How far did I walk? 11 miles? Oh." or, "Man, today was rough! And I only walked 5 miles!" Today was a 12 mile day. Like, mostly it wasn't bad, it was just hard. But still. Fuck!

Shockingly for me, I was actually on time for once, but we were pretty low on food this morning, so while I ate, I didn't get nearly enough. This will play into things later. But yeah, I was on time, got things ready for the morning round of lessons, and tried to plan my day. I had an hour gap in the schedule that I planned to use to eat and switch over horses before the round of afternoon classes, and felt pretty ready to begin.

The first two lessons went great, Sizzle was her usual stellar self, and one of the students I'd even taught before when I covered Sunday a few weeks ago! He's an awesome, smart as hell kid who asks great questions and tries his heart out! I'd forgotten the kiddy stirrups at first, and had to literally run to the tack room to get them, but that's okay. The other was a kid who wanted to eventually learn to jump, though she was a bit leery of trotting in the end of the lesson (I was a bit surprised to hear a kid who'd just declined to trot tell me she wanted to jump!)

So everything went smoothly, and the morning classes were in the bag. Addy was floating around tooling around on Maggie and stuff, but whatever, they're doing me a favor giving me more hours when I'm desperate for money, I ain't gonna winge.

At about 12:20 I hopped in the car to go nab lunch. When I had a lesson coming up at 1pm, and needed to prepare 4 horses for the next volley of classes because I had a 2 person English and a 2 person Western in my 2pm and 3pm slots. And the place I went was 10 minutes away. Yeah, I got back at 1 pm on the dot. FUCKIN' WHOOPS!

So I blow in, saddle Ollie, who Addy had said the 1pm regular rode, and got the rider on as fast as I literally could. Full thing in 5-10 minutes. Yay, but also, fuck. Except once I got the kid in the saddle I realized I'd forgotten the GODS DAMNED KIDDIE STIRRUPS. So I leave him in the saddle and RUN to the tack room. Now I was running about 15 minutes behind. And, of course, Ollie was being his usual butt-self. Like, he's a good horse, and he's a butt. And the kid, while doing his best, did not have the seat or skill yet to deal with Ollie's butt-ness.

The theme for the day also quickly became "None of these kids can post yet," for all the Western lessons, so I had A Lot of kids stand their trot so they could get the experience and start building their strength without hurting my horses' backs.

The English lesson kids at 2pm were, of course, early. So I boot 1pm kid off Ollie as close to Correct End Time as I can, drag his butt over to the tack room to switch out his saddle to an English saddle, drag him back to tie him next to the arena, assign my riders to their horses, run and grab Joy, give her the shittiest brush down in the history of EVER, and start frantically trying to piece together a second set of English tack for her. Because, of course, we have three other English saddles, an intact girth, and a horrifically mouse-mangled girth, BUT none of them had stirrup leathers or irons. FUCK.

Both spare girths were long as hell, and I knew from experience another day that they DID NOT fit Ollie, but Joy's wider, so I had 5 doubts, but some hope. I put the fleecy dressage blanket on her, because it was the only one left in the tack room, and then this mostly complete English saddle on her, trying desperately to try and make it less obvious that I had a jumping saddle over a dressage blanket. I then attach the intact girth, and lo and behold, this might just be good enough to work! I start casting around desperately for a set of stirrups, and grab the set that had been wrapped around Cass' saddle horn as impromptu kiddie stirrups! Oh holy chaos, it was even a complete set! The leathers looked absurdly short to me, but I slotted them in place, and decided to give it a try.

Now all I needed was a bridle. Last I checked, we'd only had one English bridle. So I grabbed Joy's Western bridle and dragged her over to the arena. I checked the office in one more last-ditch effort to locate a snaffle bridle, but no dice. Well, okay, then. Leverage bit for an English rider it would be.

I tell Joy's rider the deal, let her know Joy has a leverage bit in her mouth so she'll have to be extra careful with her hands, and, finally, bring my students and their horses into the arena. Joy looks surprisingly natural in English tack. And it's only...2:30. Fuck. Well, okay, we'll run long for this class and next, and I'll hay in the dark. Again. I'm experienced at being late.

Joy and Ollie were Joy and Ollie. Ollie wanted to charge ahead of Joy, but got worried when he got too far ahead of her. Both English riders had good seats and solid experience, though, so while they were very challenged, they did fine.

I staked out some of the ground poles, and had them do some pattern work over them. Well...it was meant to be a serpentine, but some stuff got lost in my explanation and it turned into a C. Whatever. They had the challenge of trotting the yahoos over poles, and it was mostly okay, as they worked on putting together getting these particular horses to trot and stay trotting (and consistent, since Ollie is apparently allergic to going one speed)...and then Joy decided to full-on jump a ground pole. Because of course she did. Her rider sat it fine, but was understandably spooked. Honestly, possibly more by the three strides of canter after the hop over the big scary pole than anything else. She was pretty emotionally done after that, and offered twice to dismount early. The second time was after I'd commented to Joy that I would need to school her. So I did switch her off and get on the little mare, demonstrating a bit of how exaggerated you sometimes end up needing to be with your hands as Joy tossed her head up like she was going to rear on me. Oh, Joy. (Chaos, and Brooke was right there. I really hope what I think I know is actually anything, and that I didn't make a complete and total ass of myself in front of my new friend and a cool trainer I admire. Also that I wasn't giving my poor student bad information. I'm not a show rider and never have been, and there's worlds of different things to know.)

So, we end the English lesson and NOW it's time to change saddles again! Fortunately Joy's rider knows her way around an English saddle enough to help, and while I switch Ollie back over she untacks Joy. Because FUCK IF I'M GRABBING TWO FRESH HORSES AT THIS POINT. I WILL JUST SUFFER, INSTEAD.

Switchover happening, yay, and I get my fresh, new, starry-eyed students aboard, one for whom this is their second lesson and the other for whom it was the first, and I even remembered the kiddy stirrups this time--GODS FUCKING DAMNIT, THIS ONE IS FOR LITERAL BABIES!!! So I leave my first-timer student sitting on Ollie in the middle of the arena and run back to the tack room, again, to see if I can find a second set of actually useful kiddy stirrups or if I'm taking the English ones back off. Fortunately, there's a set on Sonny's saddle, so I grab that and run again back to the arena.

So Ollie's rider is on, and I load up Joy's rider. Huzzah, now it's just time for the lesson. Buuut Joy and Ollie's riders were having trouble. Ollie and Joy didn't want to track around the arena, and their riders didn't have the skills yet to steer them well enough or keep them moving. We kept trying, I kept coaching, but we weren't having any luck. Okay, this happens sometimes. So I start walking around the arena, and the horses follow me. I'm hoping that after a few laps the horses will be willing to be more independent. NO SUCH LUCK. Okay, guess I'll walk forever.

We keep going. Every time I try and peel away, the riders get stuck. Stuck by the gate, stuck by a barrel, stuck on the mounting blocks. Finally, at the end of the lesson I have them trot...and Joy decides to toss her head up and offer to rear. Each time. Great. So, since I'm running with anyway, I grab her halter and pull her head down. Again, and again, and again.

But finally we finish the time, get everybody off and untacked, and I put Joy and Ollie away. Finally I'm ready to feed.

And the kabota is empty. Okay, cool. I load up my hay and start delivering. Didn't one boarder say her horse's feeding was changed while I was racing to switch over to the English saddles? Well, whatever, hopefully the info's up by the stall. It was not.

But I finish up and finally head home. 12 mile day, bro.

#sonic says #sonic sez #long post #riding instructor

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