#also i dont care if its not covid???

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(maybe its too early to be posting about this on the main but holy shit wear a damn mask)

#it is infuriating #also i dont care if its not covid??? #i dont want your other germs either???? #if youre coughing and sniffly????? wear a mask???? #like what the honest fuck #mask mandates shouldve never been lifted #especially in airports #and other high crowd places #also texas is disgusting #i hate it here #also its the BARE FUCKING MINIMUM #you can do???? #besides washing your hands but i think people forgot how to do that too #so many people are so sick #there is still a pandemic happening

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[xamaxenta]

Omg fam ur so not alone about the sleeping thing, my partner has both some health issues and also just a completely different sleep schedule from me that makes us sleeping together difficult, and a small apartment that makes it difficult to separate ourselves. And like. It's not his fault but its FRUSTRATING so I feel u ❤❤

😔😔😔Its frustrating bc its not her fault but also it kinda is bc i keep asking for basic communication

Im like hey are you coming to sleep in the next hour

And shes like in twenty mins

Which turns into two hours and im not going to dog her or ask again so i have to roll with the concept shes showing up whenever

I also sleep light so without fail if she comes in three hours later i wake up and it takes a while for me to return to sleeping

Its just a combination of stuff that makes this scenario like she doesnt say anything like dawg all i want is for u to poke your head in or msg me like im not gonna sleep yet but she gets mad abt it like its not super late!! FOR YOU ITS NOT you also work from home :/

Thats it and ill just bury myself under the covers n hope i dont wake up when she does come in

#ahh nothing like tumblr morning venting w the lads #i dont care that we have different sleep schedules #at the end of the day #i just want COMMUNICATION 😭😭😭😭😭 #i know im ass at it in other ways but im always initiating convos like this and i keep telling her im not nagging u i dont want you to feel #like thats what this is but my god it will be if she keeps this up #i think im just annoyed that she uses the not late excuse but its like yeah i know but some of us have to go to an office to work and need #to mentally be on their A game. like constantly which is what Sleep assists with #not all of us have the luxury of working from home post covid #like dont give me a fakeass time that we both knkw you arent keeping #and shes always like WAIT FOR ME!!! #SO I DO???? #AND THEN U PIKACHU FACE WHEN IM CRANKY AND SLEEPY AND AWAKE WHEB I COULDA BEEN ASLEPE????? #😭😭😭 im PRAYING FOR NO BS TODAY AT WOEK I SWEAR #also not to be slightly petty but i do all the goddamn housework

[ablazeinhim]

feeling like such a loser lately and like is it the winter or is the introversion or is it the disability???

#for a while now its been so hard for me to discern if social stuff is hard because im ND or because im an introvert #theoretically i love parties but im horrible at them on my own #i dont know what to say or how to start conversations #i desperately want to mingle and talk to people and have a god time but idk how to start that interaction #esp because i dont love talking about my work/home life (bc it makes me feel like a loser!) so i dont want to ask people about their work #in case they reciprocate and ask me about mine #also the masking #the masking is exhausting #! #the ND masking not covid masking!! #im afraid ill have nothing to add to a conversation #im afraid when i do speak up that ill ramble about something no one cares about or talk fkr too long or being jn skmething that feels like #non sequitur and ill watch peoples eyes glaze over as they scan the room for others to talk with #i have no social anxiety about like asking for help or directions or “hey where did you get that pizza it smells so good” #or “omg i love your outfit!!!” #but in a room full of people who sort of know each ither #or like p much any space where there are clumps of people talking and im not in any of them? #i feel like a bother and incompetent #i crawled out from under my rock for my only social engagement this month and theyre on their 3rd of the day and loving it #hoping eventually i wont feel the need tk mask so much. i know that makes things so much harder #=

[comradecowplant]

so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.

#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS #youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao #i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol #to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting #she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3 #anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel #THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now #telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this #so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly #turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly* #shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds... #but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷‍♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that #also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to #so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings #gender into conversations that it does not belong in #'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks #she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america... #girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!! #i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine #ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘

[horce-divorce]

I managed to not get sick (not even a cold) for the last 3 years even though I LIVED in a house with 2 people who got covid, and everyone else I know has been sick multiple times. I'm really, really careful.

We've been staying here for less than 6 months and I've gotten sick twice. I haven't stopped being careful. But my friend's dad? He is THE most disgusting man I've EVER met. Hands down. I don't say that lightly, he is atrocious. He constantly has pneumonia and doesn't wear a mask because "it's not covid." He sounds like gollum. He can't stand up without passing out. He is constantly saying he's FINE and NOT SICK.

He has an open wound on his foot that he doesn't take care of and he bleeds all over the floor/rugs in common areas and then LEAVES IT THERE. He bled all over a roll of TP the other day and then just... left it like that for everyone to use! No big deal!! His wife scrubbed the bathroom floor the other day on her hands and knees to get his bloodstains off of it, and the NEXT DAY he bled all over it again.

He popped his dentures out of his mouth, with food on them, and LEFT THEM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER. WITH FOOD ON THEM. FOR HOURS. The past 2 days, he's had a steak that is TWO YEARS out of date "thawing" on the counter for 10+ hours each day (it was not frozen!!!!!!). He always does this. He will leave leftover food out on the counter at room temperature ALL DAY before he eats it. And then he'll leave his leftovers on the counter knowing they have mice. (Four of the five of us have been trying desperately to get rid of the mice for months. Guess who's not helping!)

He also doesn't wash his hands. I don't mean "I've caught him doing that." I mean, he'll like, stick his whole hand in lasagna sauce and then open every door in the kitchen with that hand and just leave sticky handprints on everything like a toddler. This happens DAILY. There are FOUR other people who clean up after this man. You can clean everything in the kitchen spotless and go back in there tomorrow at 9am and he'll have fucked it up already. He dumps his old coffee cup into the sink OVER TOP OF THE CLEAN DISHES IN THE RACK. He does that OFTEN! Not just once! Like, regularly!!!

Like yes he's letting us stay here for free. The toll it takes is psychological. Truly I don't even think he notices that other people inhabit Earth with him, let alone his own house. He could not be bothered to care about anyone else if you paid him. We've told him repeatedly that we're staying here because we're disabled and thus homeless, and that we are immunocompromised, and he keeps going "oh, yeah!" And then insisting he doesn't have to change anything because it's "not covid." Like, buddy, I don't care if its covid, RSV, pneumonia, swine flu, or some yet undescribed mutation of a virus that melted out of the ice caps and flew up your nose. I DONT WANT IT!!!!!!!

Anyway I have really good reason to believe that it's either the conditions in the house and/or Pat's fault that Bel and I both keep getting sick, because we both had this shit on lock for YEARS before we came here. We cannot fucking wait to get back to the woods in no small part due to the personal space it will afford us from people

#me #prsnl #none of this is to say im not grateful!!!!! #we owe a lot to this family rn!!!! #but it would be cool if people didnt like. idk. feel entitled to make us sick all the fucking time. #it would be cool if yall continued to care once the government said you could stop. #its just extra rich to me when its someone LIKE PAT who we KNOW doesnt care what the gov says #you dont fucking trust the government 99% of the time. but the cdc said covid? don't worry about it! :) #and you went: gee okay! thanks! #good job everyone #also i think d8 could be a factor #that shit is unregulated and we got a... weird bad cart last time

[0809sysblings]

having been sick the past couple days means anytime i am reminded of The Sickness (sneeze, cough, feel like shit when not resting in bed doing nothing, etc) my brain just blasts "i think i hauve covid" over and over again until i get distracted with something else and forget about The Sickness again. then repeat.

#milgran't #personal posting #i guess #but. thankfully i do Not have covid! im the only person in my family (which is fucking big btw) that hasnt gotten covid (..yet) #i think im just immune. theres no other explanation (there is and its the fact that i get picked on for being a ''germophobe'') #(when im Not. they just dont care and dont take it seriously lol) #(oh yeah also. Big Vaxxed Papi untouchable!!!! /ref)

[rashfordian]

daily shuffle ting 📸

#im having a mid crisis when im not even middle aged n i dont wanna go back to school #good day and good night. i wanna sink into the floor #bc a football club i decided to support with my heart n soul has betrayed me n i dont even like to watch games anymore #also im reading a drarry fanfiction like im 13 again. #and my skin is awful. and and and im having a crisis n so many emotions that i dont even know where they stem from #i cant even smile properly anymore ive been facial training again bc ive slacked during covid n now — #i dont know how to my eyes have expresseds n i dont know how to smile or look like i care and i TOOK A HARDER HISTORY CLASS FOR NO REASONNN #I DONT EVEN LIKE HISTORYYYYYYYY #and i hate everything n ive been avoiding all my friends n texting ppl less n im just in a Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #i feel worthless n disgusting n my first thought when i wake up is 'i gotta take my acnetame and maybe if i deserve it i can shave my legs' #i naired one of them— my right. she is smooth in ways she hasnt been in a while. my left? chewbacca #n my school changed my passwords for my canvas so now tmr at 1:30 !! I GOTTA WALK UP THERE N GET MY NEW PERSONAL INFORMATION #the clothes i bought i didnt rlly like. but i just wanted to leave the store n make my grandmother happy. now im going into the school year #with clothes i hate n they dont feel gpod and theyre Not the right texture theyre too tight. But not in ways i love theyre too Tight. #n i .s.msneenen all my shoes r blk !!!! theyre all blk !!!! #sjsndjddjd and my hair !!!! my hair!!!!@ sjdjdjdu #God i just wanna lay in my room take showers n rot #roll around and hit myself on my headboard so hard i go into coma n i miss my entire year #n then i fuck off to hershey for chocolate bars and chocolate bags #cant even scrapbook right itsall paint its all paint n aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im in agony bc im not even saying whats rlly wrong with me #im focusing on the little problems and not the one it stims from. Like a web but if the spider only hang off the edge n never the middle #n everyone keeps talking at me n when i respond they yell at me for everything n i get pushed to the side #bc they hate whatever i have to say for whatever reason n wtv ig i hate them back. always pushing me down fuck them fuck them get out. #n now my friend is texting me her stuff after never speaking to me unless she has a problem #Anyways. sorry sorry. im whining im complaining im really depressed rn n def not in the right headspace to post any of this #or talk to anyone who is reading this. this probably doesnt make sense i left holes in my sentences #so sorry super sorry #that is a photo of me as a baby btw. it is the only one. please love her and maybe tell her she has nice eyebrows. she'd love that #we always take rlly good care of our eyebrows. thats a rule. we just plucked them today #anyways. see you. ill post hp gifs later n forger i ever felt bad to beginning. all of the best.

[arowrath]

the dentist's office is so scary theyll be like "can i get the #2 probe for the D17 molar" like they're casting evil alien wizard spells on your mouth

#text #i havent been to the dentist since i was like. 16. its very scary and also expensive #yes i know thats bad yes i know i'll be really mad at myself about it in like 5 years. we'll burn that bridge when we get to it #Well actually i went to the orthodontist one time '''''post-'''''covid when i was 17 to get the permanent retainer off my top teeth #Awful awwful experience btw i hate the thing rhey use to like #get the glue off ur teeth. it Hurts and it smells like theyre burning it and its so loud. awful awful awful #i wish i hadnt gotten it off i shouldve known i would not remember to wear my retainer LOL #i could start again now but. pain . and also its annoying to have to wash it all the time #Why do i have special bones i have to take extra care of. its such bullshit. all my other bones are fine with not being BABIED #teeth are just BABIES 🖕 FREELOADERS 🖕🖕🖕 THEY DONT EVEN PAY RENT

[redrobin-detective]

One thing that infuriates me about modern life is, for how terminally online everyone is, people are terrible at answering messages. I communicate primarily through texts, show love through ‘thinking of you’ messages, ask important time sensitive questions over the phone. I don’t need answers back right away but when days past without response it passes rude into disheartening. Nothing infuriates me more than following up in person on a text I sent a week before and getting ‘oh lol sorry forgot’

#this is exclusively irl stuff #I know online friendships are weird with different time zones and in and out of fandoms #but people are Constantly on their phones #if I message you about an important work question I expect an answer within a day #if you're busy that second a quick 'talk later' will suffice #just being flat out ignored its mad and hurtful #still lowkey upset that I messaged a friend when I was Really bad with covid asking her advice #and she never responded back #like to me that is very tellin #my attempts to keep in contact with people I dont see every day with lil Thinking of You messages #also get ignored and then when I do see them its 'omg hi why don't we keep in contact more' #well I'M TRYING I guess it really is lip service #idk this has been an issue my whole life #I consider punctuality and consideration to be incredibly important #I dont care if it takes you hours or even a day or 2 to get back to me #but to repeatedly always be ghosted sometimes just exhausts me #like Im throwing my love into the air and watching it evaporate into nothing

[hrtmonitor]

still immensely floored that i havent seen anyone else talking about the fact that throughout the pandemic, services like doordash, uber eats, instacart, etc were and are counter-intuitively more likely to spread covid because youre sending this one person to many different public spaces. meaning they were able to easily spread it store to store as opposed to you going to the one place and coming back.

On top of that, theres a solid chance you get a driver that doesnt care as much as you about covid safety meaning it wouldve easily been safer to go yourself

Naturally if getting covid would be particulerly bad for you, youd still be less likely to catch it yourself ordering online. But its easy to assume "less likely to catch doing"="less likely to spread covid doing" when it didnt.

#this isnt a judgement or anything. i ordered online closer to the peaks of covid and never thought about everything that goes on bts #probably too late to have thought about but hey its not the worst thing to point out #also not a judgement if you still use these i dont really care #just something to think about

[heyitslapis]

Walked out of work today bc long story short a guest decided that she was gonna lecture me/use me & my "abhorrent, disrespectful attitude" as an example of a lesson for one of her student & I decided that standing there & being belittled wasn't worth it

#i only gave her back the disrespect she was giving me. not even as bad as she was dishing either #granted i couldve kept my composure but also she was up at the desk for 45 minutes making a mountain out of a molehill #& among other things in her ''lecture'' she told me that if any of her students or employees acted the way i did they'd be dismissed & fire #she said ''post covid there are PLENTY of people who would be lucky & LOVE to have any work right now'' & i thought #yknow. i love my job. but i dont deserve this. this isnt worth it #so i turned to the food & beverage manager who was the only MOD & said ''actually i think i will go home'' #i called my AGM after i left & let her know the whole situation. even told her i understand if im fired or written up bc of this but its no #worth standing there & being lectured & having this lady lie to my face about things i said/did. i dont deserve to be treated like that #the woman really told me ''this couldve been a teachable moment for you'' LMAO lady i will let a LOT of shit slide #but i refuse to be the subject of your lesson & i certainly dont get paid enough to have anyone who isnt management lecture me #it just feels weird though. ive never walked out before. never spotainiously taken the night off. never had a situation like this before #it feels weird having left & it feels weird sitting in my bed trying to enjoy my night when my brain knows im supposed to be at work rn #oh well #my AMG said im definetly not fired & she'll talk to the lady in the morning. i couldnt care less if i was though. theres always other jobs #and to preface i even apologized to the woman both for my behavior & the disrespect. yet she still felt like making an example of me #what a week its been #emma rambles #emma vents #2023 tag

[pepprs]

girl why is EVERYONE being cavalier about this. i just found out i literaly was sitting 3 feet across from someone who was symptomatic with covid for 2 hours yesterday. she was masked and i was wearing an n95 but that is not a guarantee that i didn’t get it. I was exposed 30ish hours ago but if i got it it hasn’t incubated yet probably so i May n out be symptomatic yet but i could be. and my family who made my life a LIVING HELL back in 2020 and 2021 over being afraid i would give them covid suddenly don’t give a single shit about it when this is the most significant way i have ever been exposed. they think im being irrational and don’t habe patience for me panicking over it and not wanting to go be around them and act like everything is normal. um maybe im panicking for good fucking reason because i don’t want to get you sick and i don’t want to be sick myself? like someone please tell me im not fucking crazy im about to lose my shit

#purrs #i shut myself in the bathroom when i found out and its been an hour and i haven’t come out and i don’t want to. like why would i fucking do #that. im scared shitless why is your reaction to say im being too much this isn’t an irrational mental illness fear this is LITERALLY covid. #like what the fuck. i know i have reasons to be confident i don’t have it but i also have reasons to act like i do and take every #precaution. why are YOU of all people making me feel like shit for wanting to protect you. lol #delete later #like it’s bad enough that no one cares about covid anymore and i feel like a freak every day for still caring about it and being scared of i #it now when i do actually get exposed it isn’t a big deal to anyone but me. ok. do you want me to get dizzy again and pass out and die. do #YOU want to die. because that’s kinda what we’re risking right now as small as that risk may be. like we dont know what causes long covid an #and i dont want to find out by being the unlucky person who gets it or by being the reason someone i love suffers for the rest of their life

[vanillabat99]

My legs (mostly my thighs and hips) are hurting pretty bad right now. They've been hurting a little bit throughout the week, but it's really bad tonight. I just took some acetaminophen but I don't have high hopes of it doing anything, it rarely does. I'm hoping this passes and doesn't become my new normal ._.

#every time things get worse i worry they will be like that forever #i miss my prescription painkillers 😭 #they gave me ulcers so i cant take them anymore but nothing else works :(( #voltaren hurts to apply because it is cold and idk how to warm it up beforehand and it also doesnt really do much for me either ._. #ive also been having a migraine on and off all week 😭 #now that the barbie hype has left my body. all i have is the agonies. woagh. #idk if i can do dance on tuesday if this keeps up :( #i see my doc soon to go over my (STILL OCCURING AND UNDIAGNOSED) heart problems. #hopefully she has good news about the cardiology referral. its been months of silence and theyve already rejected me once ._. #ive had a rough week. even though i live with my family i dont get a lot of help because they are all busy all the time #and i dont qualify for home care. ive tried. #im so exhausted physically and emotionally. i dont even care if im sick forever. i just want help ._. #also my family has gotten lax about masking and staying home and ive been sick for weeks. just a general sick. not covid or even a cold. #im so tired ._. #it is 4am so it might be the late night blues but man. its rough rn. #batty blogging #text

[theskyexists]

I was struggling for nine years, and finally got better, finally overcame the circumstances and my own internal barriers and was making a good life for myself. I had a year. And everything on this stupid website reflects that - every motivational word, every twist on perspective, every last thing, is about the adolescent struggle for self-esteem, confidence, ambition, balance. I really thought, I REALLY THOUGHT, that was it, I was finally going to have a couple of years to build and grow and enjoy a good life. There is no motivational word, no twist on perspective, nothing, for death, for losing someone you love permanently. Just isn't. I'm so angry about - after 9 years of struggle, and finally, finally - and now I won't ever be happy again. Just struggle, again, and this time there is no way out. Just struggle, no 'done', no good life. Completely futilely furious.

#also it turns out i have covid somehow. somehow? bc my damn brother works with a million disgusting kids #i cannot STAND stories about difficult children #i hate children from a distance #up close theyre ok #but if theyre difficult on top of it all im just full of revulsion #its like. some fascist impulse. DESTROY THE INSECT #which is crazy but true i do NOT want to hear about the annoying ass difficult kid #dont care its not his fault #also the stupid fuckin hormonal implant is making my whole lower body cramp and making me feel #that particular feeling on top of everything else #used to count my blessings #my stuff #personal

[lexa-griffins]

I honestly feel like i should just give up on the semester all together

#i could do the essays during the summer since they dont change #im not sure is its still the aftermath of covid #or just me not being cut out for school anymore #but i feel like i theres a wall between me and doing the essays #essays where never hard for me before #i had days where i sat at my laptop and was unable to write anything at all #and now im just ha ing panic attack after panic attack #to be fair between me getting accepted into the master and me getting into it #a lotta shit happened #mom getting diagnosed with cancer again dad got a stroke my grandma died all in one month #perhapsbi am not as stable mentally as i though i was #but also THE MONEY i already spent??? #im just ranting really because im a anxious mess who awaited waaay to long to get shit done #and the class is so small i feel dumb being the only one leaving classes behind #although who the fuck cares #but the professors are close with us because of that #ignoreme.jpg