#the ND masking not covid masking!!

[ablazeinhim]

feeling like such a loser lately and like is it the winter or is the introversion or is it the disability???

#for a while now its been so hard for me to discern if social stuff is hard because im ND or because im an introvert #theoretically i love parties but im horrible at them on my own #i dont know what to say or how to start conversations #i desperately want to mingle and talk to people and have a god time but idk how to start that interaction #esp because i dont love talking about my work/home life (bc it makes me feel like a loser!) so i dont want to ask people about their work #in case they reciprocate and ask me about mine #also the masking #the masking is exhausting #! #the ND masking not covid masking!! #im afraid ill have nothing to add to a conversation #im afraid when i do speak up that ill ramble about something no one cares about or talk fkr too long or being jn skmething that feels like #non sequitur and ill watch peoples eyes glaze over as they scan the room for others to talk with #i have no social anxiety about like asking for help or directions or “hey where did you get that pizza it smells so good” #or “omg i love your outfit!!!” #but in a room full of people who sort of know each ither #or like p much any space where there are clumps of people talking and im not in any of them? #i feel like a bother and incompetent #i crawled out from under my rock for my only social engagement this month and theyre on their 3rd of the day and loving it #hoping eventually i wont feel the need tk mask so much. i know that makes things so much harder #=

[bobatealie-archived]

it is 10pm nd i just tested positive for covid 😐

#friend #❝ chattering ! ♡ #IM SO FUCKING PISSED #I KNOW //EXACTLY// WHO GAVE IT TO ME #ive been trying SO hard to not get it bc of my immunocomprimised mom #BUT NO #my decides its a good idea to take my stuff and use it ! which i nvr allow normally #AND SHE DIDNT TELL ME SHE HAD COVID UNTIL LIKE THEEE DAYS LATER #miss girl shows up to school asymptomatic w no mask nd thinks its fine !! #she didnt even get her shots 😐 #god. and ive been having symptoms since like sunday #i shld have tested earlier tbh but we cldnt get any tests !! wow !!!!!! #sorry . im just rlly upset nd feel terrible wjndjsjsbbd #vent #ask to tag #<- not sure if theres other studf to tag #anyways . im going to bed fuck this honestly #ough i always forget abt the quotes thing whoopsies #too lazy tobchange

[vulpinesaint]

sitting in my car for a few minutes before class for my own peace of mind. truly an experience that cannot be recreated without a car. i didn’t get it as a child but now that i’m an adult i fully understand the “sit in your car for at least fifteen minutes after getting somewhere” impulse. truly integral to the american experience

#valentine notes #this is gibberish. as it should be #vibes were weird last night and this morning i have ascertained that i might have something going on emotionally! so #i’ll try nd be a good adult and parse that out during class :) #might also be a little sick. i’m feeling physically ok but i have sick throat + i had to pick up my little brother yesterday from school #cause he was feeling sick. so. #not covid obvi! but wearing a mask to class anyway #got a really good night’s sleep last night though. that was nine or ten hours of goodness. let’s hope it kicks in :) #gotta drink more water today too haha. checklist :)

[nancydrew428]

Why is everyone (both everyday people and governments) treating COVID like it's over? Why did we stop caring? Why are we letting so many people die?

At least in the U.S., we are still having some of the highest cases we've ever had! We have more cases currently than we did in March 2020. And this is probably an underestimation, considering the fact that so many in person testing places have shut down, nothing is really requiring that people get tested anymore, so many people are buying at home tests where they don't have to report the results, many people get asymptomatic COVID, and lots of cities/states have essentially just stopped reporting cases.

On average in the past week, we are having almost 98,000 new cases per day. Thankfully, deaths are down, but that's still about 300 recorded COVID deaths per day in the past 7 days. (this is according to Google by searching "COVID trend US".)

The thing about this is that so many of these cases and deaths would be preventable if governments did anything about it. But instead, governments give into their furthest right constituents + their corporate interests and decide that pretending that everything's fine and letting immunocompromised and otherwise high risk people have to choose between hiding and dying is more important than caring about people's lives and health.

Why is your personal freedom to not wear a mask, to not get vaccinated, to possibly kill yourself, and to likely kill others more important than other people's rights to live?

I'm not saying we have to go back to the way it was when we were strictest with COVID. I know that is not going to happen and people want to get out there and do things. But why are big businesses no longer requiring masks? Why are some governments no longer making it easier/cheaper to get tested for COVID? Why are governments no longer pushing vaccines? Why are we not better funding our hospitals, other healthcare settings, and really anything that will truly help people?

How could we all be so selfish, ignorant, bigoted, hateful, self-centered, corrupt, careless, and perhaps even malicious?

What can I do to help people care or do what's right? What can I do to hold my government accountable? What can I do to protect myself and others?

I'm vaccinated and I'll get any future COVID vaccines that are recommended. I'll keep wearing my mask. I can ask my friends to do the same. I can start carrying around other masks in my car just in case one of my friends forgets theirs. I social distance when possible. I keep up to date with COVID news. What else I can do?

I want to live my life, too. I want to enjoy my 20s and go to concerts and see friends. But I also don't want to give up. I don't want to put myself or others at high risk. I don't want to pretend like COVID is over, like everything's fine, like people aren't getting sick and dying when many of these cases are preventable! COVID is real. It still exists, it's still infecting people, affecting people, killing people. It's here to stay, but there has to be something that can be done. For the U.S. government to decide that the onus is on the individual and to wipe their hands clean from the blood that was once there is despicable and disgusting.

#if you are anti-vax or don't believe covid exists or never wear a mask or feel too defensive to respond in a meaningful way #then please don't respond #block me and leave me alone #i mostly just needed to rant but i do want to do what i can to help others and make the world a better place #but when not enough people/no powerful people or entities are doing this (or being open/loud enough about it) #it feels scary and lonely and hopeless #and i don't like any of those feelings lol #post #covid #covid 19 #not nd #not nd related

[taeyongruinedcitylights]

my stepdad has covid and now my nose is starting to run.

#i TOLD them if we had ppl over for christmas we’d get covid again. and now here we are. #when he tested positive earlier he was like ‘but i havent gone anywhere!’ nd its soooo hard not to say anything but its like hm. #does it mayhaps have something to do with the fact mom goes fucking everywhere and doesnt wear a mask anymore hm??? #even when subbing at a school with 750 snotnosed students?? incredible….. #i really have to beg her to wear a mask i just dont get it bc my stepdad is so immunocompromised now and his breathing is so bad normally… #like why would u not do this tiny thing to protect the life of the guy u allegedly love. #idk maybe its bc my dad just died last yr but im really confused why wouldnt u want to stretch out what time u have left together…..

[lilyaceofdiamonds]

When you raincheck potential plans (again) because of brain fog and their response is always ‘feel better soon’. Like thanks but there’s nothing to feel better FROM. There’s no better from this right now without doctors and meds probably but i do not have the mental or physical energy for that. Chronic pain and fatigue and depression have been kicking my ass, i’ve been burning through spoons, i’m spending all my time off sleeping and still wake up feeling exhausted. I would theoretically love to hang out with people but i just don’t have the energy.

#my ramblings #just ignore this #no i’m not okay #mental health: deteriorating #but its fine #sorry to everyone who wants to hang out with me (none of whom have tumblr) and i keep bailing #but five hours of irl dnd a week is hard enough to get through these days #i can’t mask for a second day of hanging out an indeterminate amount of time #(mask like nd!masking not covid!masking that i can still do) #i have literally spent the last 36 hours asleep or reading fanfic while partially dozing #i got up for an hour to make half-assed bangers and mash and then passed out again for three hours #which at least gave me a bunch of leftovers of instant potatoes and sausages

[headofocs-inklesspen]

Amazing that all it took to stop having coworkers ask why I still wear at mask at work 90% of the time was simply responding “I don’t like people seeing my face”

#crow rambles #wear a mask #masking #it’s a very simplified and partial answer #but like the three people who commented about it the most now no longer say anything #the breakdown is this: 50% because Covid is still a major health issue globally #30% because I don’t like people seeing my face esp since I’m the type of nd that talks to myself under breath A Lot #and 20% because I do not trust the majority of our customer base to not come in while contagiously ill with anything but especially covid #(hey Apple. stop autocorrecting covid to either things I’m not typing or turning ‘Covid is’ to ‘covid isn’t’ wtf) #masking (physically) also means I have to mask less (autistically) #‘stop living in fear’ I don’t mask bc I fear covid. I mask bc I don’t trust other people to protect public safety #but also I’m already disabled and do hold a healthy fear of covid and the after affects of having covid

[stormblessed95]

https://www.tumblr.com/stormblessed95/738500348294070272/httpstwittercomcapvirgosstatus1742482657060

"I'm glad i clicked on tk tag and got to see tk sticking together for whole LA-LV concert" ijbol. It's good that you clicked on tk tag anon but you should have made sure to look for the og sources to fact check if whatever you saw from tkkrs is actually true or some edited shit cause if you did you wouldn't have said all of that you said in your ask.

First things first most of the clips you mentioned are from LA. Now let bring my list of things jkk did together in LA 1) the most infamous "jungkook comes to my room 3 times a day to take stamps" and later in dvd too jm said jk's one stay in jm's room used to be like 4 hrs Sometimes now imagine how much time that was. Anyways idt he stayed in jm's room for 4 times each time but one thing is he went to jm's room 3 times in a single day everyday even at night at 2o clock cause he was boar and the solution to keep being entertained is staying on jm's bed for hrs doing nothing lol. Let's not forgot how taehyung said that he thought jm's room is jk's cause when he went to jm's room it was jk who opened the door so he thought it's jk's room how "attached to the hip" of tk as you said.

2) Jimin said in live that since he came to LA he's working out together with jungkook everyday and you saw clips of that too so your proof is right there. let's rewind how that one girl from tiktok said when she was dancing recoding a tiktok at hotel's gym area she saw jikook and the girl was literally tkkr from 2014 nd even showed tkk videos posted on her tiktok from yrs long so she had no shit to lie but alas tkkrs harassed her too. And to think that the clothes/mask that jk is wearing in the clip from doc nd the clip from that girl's tiktok are different shows that they indeed used to workout everyday.

3) idk if you know this but jihopekook went on dinner when they were in LA only the three of them.

4) vminkook went to the beach together and went to that restaurant together means they were together even there.

5) jkk has a habit of eating together after concerts which is the regular thing for them and you did heard jm telling in that vminkook LA vlive that he and jk were eating chicken together before he came to join tae on live. And you might think so what jk ate with tae too nd RM too in later vlives but thing is jkk are consistent with their thing of eating together after concerts hence why there's more clips of jkk eating together during concerts than anybody else cause it's their thing.

So after all this time eating together, doing gym together, going for a walk together (again jkk mentioned it on vminkook vlive in LA), shooting for their official perfomances together, going to places together and jk spending most of his time when he was alone in his room WITH jm everyday i wonder where was jkk not attached to the hips as you're claiming.

Let's talk about LV now.....

1) i know two moments where tk were together but jm wasn't with them one is when vhopekook went to bruno mars' concert and second is when they went to film/promote some official thing (again it was vhopekook together) nd later went on dinner the three of them apart from that i don't remember much from it.

2) what did jm and jk did together in LV? As usual they were eating together after concerts (remember how jm apologized to jk as soon as he joined that vminhopekook live in LA saying he ate a little without jk nd jk called him traitor which further shows that it's their thing), jk told us that jm was going to join him for boxing at his boxing center (which he did but they never showed us) nd was happy that he got a boxing partner, Then for all the 4 days of concert jikook went to hotel room together in the same car, Jkk went to dinner with yg and sat at same table having fun, i remember jk saying he went to jm's room and hugged him after his recovery of covid (jk had covid and was isolated for like 5 days so idt he was hanging out much with any member because of isolation).

These are small things from LV so idt we can say much about who was attached at hips. I know we shouldn't be making it a competition but since anon was saying they saw "tk attached at the hip and jm was just there on side alone" it so I'm also trying to see it.

There's no taekook aunty theory, there's no tk private dinner (cause it was vminkook dinner with bh filming by their cam ), there's nothing there that you were pointing out so it's like you based all of that on false scenarios.

And about fandom the fandom talking more about namkook than jikook....they also talk 2 times a month about jk changing colours during gcfh than they ever do for gcft (which should be the talk of the Town), also jk changed colour during jm's appearance in the same gcfh but no one ever acknowledged that. They talk more about RM joining jk's live more than they talk about how jk dedicated a whole ass live of his to watcha jm's content now imagine if he did that for namjoon how you would have never heard the end of it but they won't talk about it cause obviously it's jikook. They talk more about jk mentioning namjoon's thigh than they ever talk about jm's obvious love declarations for jk since yrs, Even now they won't talk about jikook travel show but imagine if it was any other pair lol

That jungkook cooking for members was funny af cause idk if you're new or what when jungkook has been cooking for them for yrs now?

Thing is anon they don't talk about other pairs more because there's nothing special in jkk's friendship but they don't talk about jkk is beacuse it's not one of the fandom chosen ship which is taekook, namjin, yoonmin and sope. If the things jkk did was done by any of the mentioned pair you would not have heard the end of it but since it's jikook which has went till hickey moment nothing surprises the fandom more than that. They knows it too well that it's jkk so they always gonna do some gay shit which the only time they acknowledged is during dvd but they won't say it out loud cause it's not their ship.

Hope you had good time with jikook and you'll have good exit too and i hope you do take that exit and don't lurk here.

Lmfao! Okay, last anon to anon I'll post 💜

[bringmemyrocks]

Sick to death of masking (social presentation, not COVID) discussions taking over all Autistic/ND discussion spaces. It's "levels" and "functioning" labels all over again.

Saying "it's ok to infodump sometimes!" is useless to those of us who can't socialize and break down crying when we miss the bus.

Now every online space I used to get support from is 90% discussions of "masking" and "unmasking" forgetting that many autistics are incapable of masking.

It sucks also because the online support group I used to go to for people with autism and similar conditions was shut down for unrelated reasons right as this new fad popped up.

So many of us are incapable of masking. I realize it's important for people who are capable of masking to unpack that and deal with the associated stress, but in many situations there is a real level of privilege associated with being able to mask. I cannot track the number of jobs and relationships I have lost because I cannot control my social ineptitude, because I cannot "mask" effectively.

I agree that we should reject "functioning" and "level" labels, but all this focus on masking just puts the "high functioning" or "level 1" types on a pedestal in all but name. And I don't think that helps any of us.

I may never leave my current low-paying job because I don't trust another employer to put up with my autistic traits. Masking may be a burden, but it is also a useful tool that many people do not have access to!

And now every "autism influencer" says essentially that all autistics (or all autistics with the IQ to view their social media...) can mask. And they talk about "unmasking" and the importance of being your true self.

And that's great for people that that applies to.

But a lot of us need help the other direction. Saying "it's ok to infodump sometimes!" is useless to those of us who break down crying when we miss the bus. Are we, in fact, on different planets? (reference the concept that autistics feel that they are on a different planet from NTs. This masking obsession makes me feel on a different planet from "high functioning" autistics.)

Because jfc a lot of us can't "mask" our autism at all! We don't have any alternative but to "be ourselves" and that tends to screw us over!

Note: I do not mean to offend anyone with this post. I imagine if one had the ability to mask, learning to harness this ability and use it more effectively, not being overwhelmed by it, that would be really helpful. I imagine with everyone in the online autismsphere suddenly talking about masking must feel liberating for you. I just wish one single topic didn't take over every online space for years at a time. Maybe it's the influencer economy, the algorithms, etc. who knows; I genuinely bear no ill will towards people who are more socially capable than me.

I guess I should just stay off tiktok and youtube

#i #actuallyautistic #autism

[oysterdelite]

I hope u have a wonderful recover nd the treatment helps ✨️💕 I just recover from covid nd a bacteria that caught me at the same time and still kinda weak so all the good vibes 4 u Sir — 🐕💕

Oh no! I’m so sorry! My mom is recovering from Covid rn and is feeling very yucky!

Honestly with the way covid numbers are rising, I’ve been masking again because side my city in particular has a lot of things going around rn and I just. Really don’t want to catch anything or put anyone else at risk.

Be sure to drink lots of a fluid!!

#oyster answers #oyster’s anons #t4t nsft #ftm dom #mlm nsft #t4t #ftm nsft #trans nsft #t4t mlm #t4t dom

[symbiodyke]

friend with all respect i understand the sentiment of advocating masking for social accountability to an ongoing pandemic and i see that you're coming from a place of valid built up hurt and fear and anger from feeling this way for 3 years, but honestly your level of nastiness towards ppl not masking 24/7/365 is outrageous

covid is with us. it comes in waves and there's so much uncertainty in how to respond at this point even for chronically ill and immunocompromised people that it's wildly presumptive to act like everyone who's not wearing a mask is an apathetic enemy who doesn't value human life. who should kill themself. listen to yourself are you okay

hey I appreciate you taking the time to send this message.

the tags I left on that post were not at all meant literally but I shouldn't have said it in the first place. this is the only space I can vent abt covid safety and I do tend to use pretty negative, harsh, nd emotionally charged language when I do so. going forward, I'll tone it down and try to be more mindful of the nuances involved.

I lost pretty much all my friends on the issue of covid safety early in the pandemic and been indescribably lonely/isolated thru all of it, so I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check when i talk about it online.

#like. idk i can't do Anything. tbh my partner is immunocompromised and i cant even see friends/potential friends #but im surrounded by unmasked ppl constantly irl and online having the time of their lives blissfully unaware #so yeah it feels pretty fucking shitty. #im in my early 20s and havent gotten to live my life freely at all bc i dont want to endanger my partner or myself #but yeah anyway. point is. im sorry for making you uncomfortable anon. i know not everyone who doesnt mask 24/7 is some apathetic eugenicist #but i also cant promise ill always be super chill when i vent on my personal blog abt something that completely rules my life #and highkey ruined it!

[teletyped]

had class today n my prof and i were chatting and my internets been shit lately so my prof was like "oh you should get someone to come in and fix it. but maybe not since veryone's sick with covid rn"(hes been sick for 3 weeks (its a remote class) and counting. for the second time THIS YEAR) nd i said "oh im not that worried about that, we wear masks all the time so as long as the repair person's not here for hours it should be fine."

and he

looked. AGHAST when i said that

n was like "you STILL wear masks????"

i did not know how to respond to that

#text #HE WORKS AT A HOSPITAL FOR HIS DAY JOB. #WERE SO FUCKING DOOMED.

[bleakbluejay]

I wanna rant a little, I guess, about the moment I realized I was obsessed with the Mandalorian.

It was actually the 2nd to last episode of season 2. I mean I really liked the show up until that point, certainly, but that episode, where Din, Cara, Migs, Fennec, and Boba all go to the refinery so they can figure out where Grogu is, it stuck with me in my little brain and exploded and bloomed.

Specifically when Din decided he had to take his helmet off if he was going to save Grogu's life. The hesitance at first, letting the scanner try his helmet first. The determination, next, of letting it scan him so he can get it over with before anyone noticed. It's very resolute.

Then... the panic.

The absolute panic and fear freezing him when Valin Hess begins asking questions. This guy can't move, he can't talk. He can just stare with wide-eyed terror, speechless, and what little he can say isn't right. The increased panic as he realizes he's failing, he's failing this social interaction, he's failing Grogu, and he's failing himself, and he freezes. It looks like he's fighting back tears, almost, like he's moments away from breaking.

Which is the same way I handle panic and anxiety attacks. As an autistic person, my fear/anxiety response is just freezing, going nonverbal/semiverbal, and hoping that the stressor will just go away. I very, very rarely see this in fiction, and especially rarely under the exact circumstances being portrayed. I went from merely loving this character to thinking this is me, he is me. And that empathy link got intensely established.

I kept thinking about how traumatic this entire situation must be for him. How stressful the circumstances. How he, someone relatively zealous, forsake one of the most important tenets of his faith, showing his face to other living things, and there's nothing he could do about it. For the first time in easily 20-30 years, he was seen. He was vulnerable. There was no durasteel, no beskar, no protective shell separating him from the hard world outside or prying eyes or judgement or failure. Suddenly, his facial expressions mattered, facial expressions he didn't need to worry about mirroring or faking in decades if ever. And they didn't just matter the way they matter to a ND person like me in regular social situations. This was life-or-death.

I remember about two years in quarantine and masking during COVID took me soooo far back in terms of how well I "mask" my autism around allistics. I barely do it at all, now, and I have trouble forcing myself to. It made me very insecure of my face and expressions because I couldn't do them right anymore. That was just two years. What could 20-30 years do?

So I sat there, suddenly extremely connected, heart-to-heart with that tin man, metaphorical spear through my chest as I watched all the stages of grief pass over his face during that scene, and my whole brain chemistry was being altered. I finished the episode, finished the season, finished Book of Boba Fett, and then rewatched the Mandalorian, with this new perspective. Then I rewatched it again. And again. And every time I felt more and more connected to the guy. His tenderness, his gentleness, his strength, his courage, his love, his light, his fear. He became my favorite fictional character, and in so, so short a period of time. In just two weeks. And all sparked by Pedro Pascal's fucking 🥺 face.

(And of course, Din isn't canonically autistic but yes he is <3 I said so and I know everything.)

#eli talks #anyway din djarin is very autistic and so am i and so are we #we are twins #i see a character have the same traits as me #or react to love or fear the same way as me #i stick onto them like those lil fuckin floaters from subnautica #din djarin #the mandalorian #mando

[blackwoolncrown]

I really don’t feel affectionate towards people who can’t be attentive about others idc idc. I don’t think  it makes someone a bad person but it makes me feel like they’re too risky to have around me.

this is about my roommate who brought covid into the house nd gave it to their Very Old patients and didn’t want to wear a mask at home and who I noticed does not close the mask around their nose when weearing a wired mask which is SO unnerving but it answers the question of how tf did they give covid to their patients if they’re supposed to be wearing a mask around them?

and the answer is apparently they ‘didn’t know’ masks don’t work if they aren’t sealed around your nose/upper face which was their response when I told them liteerally just that and I have a hard time belieiving that bc we are in YEAR THREEE OF THE FUCKING PANDEMIC so if they didn’t know they really just don’t care bc THEY ARE A HEALTHCARE WORKER WHAT THE FUCK

#like imagine someone with covid just Nose Outing it in your house #jfc #their nose wasn't out but th mask was just like fully open at the top #how do you not know medical masks have a wire #HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?????? #HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW MASKS NEED TO B ECLOSED TO WORK!?!?!?!?

[transrightsjimin]

3 days later and im still mentally drained frm talking to my autism coach aka having an unwanted discussion bc she decided to bring up the usual faux concern for my mental health and how i isolate myself, after she literally made me sad and pissed off by pushing me again abt when ill stop wearing masks, and spouting the typical bullshit everyone says like 'it's proven covid is just a flu now' and when i try to refute anything that the shitty fucking dutch government and corrupted health orgs say w no proof, she went again like 'you don't have to make this about politics' and 'that's how you think about it but not everyone sees it that way' etc etc and when i talked abt disabled friends nd family nd what the effects of long covid are she pretended to understand but she DOESN'T bc she wants me to stop wearing masks 'bc it's not required anymore' and so does my other autism coach want me to and so do my doctors and colleagues and my vulnerable parents who i've regrettably now even stopped masking around bc my dad just gets pissed off and my mom got too sad we couldnt kiss e/o on the cheeks and they don't Get it and always kept asking why i wouldnt eat or drink w them at home nd i was honestly FINE MENTALLY abt al this crap bc i try not to think abt it too much and just be doube masked in public transport and go about my day but then this fucking piece of scum that plays the same record over and over like every dumb fucking dutchie who think the govt and 'being Normal' is sacred urghgh anyway good night!!!

#rambles #'we're just having a discussion :)' i didn't WANT a discussion i old u this like 5 fucking times #i truly hate these ppl but im so relient on them and i know theres nowhere where autism helpers wear masks #everyone is so antimask including the medical world i hate it #YES i know i should blame the govt but boy i sure deal w everyday ppl who talk in their favour #i dont want to use the word gaslighting lightly but it rlly feels like it #ppl act like im fcking nuts for not wanting to get infected or thinking the pandemic never ended #meanwhile they talk abt the huge labour shortages w/o thinking further

[dsfjjshgffdg]

"covid is going around again but they said on the radio that its the same as the flu. and there's no restrictions in place" does it matter? does it rlly matter? there was an entire strain of the flu that went extinct (iirc) bc ppl were masking so much that it didnt spread and the "flu season" that time around was pratically nonexistent does that mean nothing to u. on 1 hand covid isnt the flu no matter how much u tell urself that, its an entirely different disease but also why do masks and basic hygiene nd personal space have to be covid only things. lol. even if ur not concerned for urself u should at least care abt other ppl bc guess what disabled and immunocompromised ppl exist. but masking is soo hard am i right its such an awful thing.

#makes no cents luv. drives me up the damn wall luv.