#also if you are wondering WHY jinxx bit me it was because i was making a sound he doesn't like

[salstray]

15 questions for 15 mutuals ~ ✨ 

I was tagged by the lovely @killerspinal <3 Thank you very much <3

---

1. Are you named after anyone? 

Nope! Doubly so now that I’m changing my legal name, rip.

2. When was the last time you cried? 

Last night :) Worry not! I simply like to day dream before I go to bed and it got angsty, is all.

3. Do you have kids? 

I have a cat that I refer to as my son and that’s as close as I’ll ever willingly get to motherhood.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

Yes. Yes I do.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Played volleyball in middle school and hated every second of it! Never touched A Sport since <3

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

In person? Their voice cause I’m usually too scared to look them in the eye right off the bat. Online? honestly, no idea. Don’t talk to enough new people-

7. Eye colour?

Blue~

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Why can’t be both?

9. Any special talents?

My ability to make a story out of Literally Anything that is put in front of me. Mobile games with the simplest gameplay/graphics/features? I’ll build a world from it. A plant? I’ll give it a backstory. Keep anything in the public domain AWAY from me otherwise I’ll worldbuild for 8 hours then never look at it again.

10. Where were you born?

US of A, baybeeee

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, Video Gaming, watching youtube, and DnD!

12. Do you have any pets?

My sweet, darling son Jinxx (aforementioned cat), who bit me about four minutes ago <3

13. How tall are you?

5′3 and willing to bite you if you comment about it.

14. Fave subject in school?

Gods, I feckin hated school with a deep burning passion- Anything that let me write. One of my teachers let me turn in a Skyrim fanfic as an essay onetime but I don’t remember what class that was.

15. Dream job? 

The dream is to actually finish a book for once in my life and make it big, wonder off into the woods with my cat and live at the base of a mountain, destined to one day vanish without a trace and never to be seen again.

Thank you again, bestie <3 I hope you have a lovely day!

--

ACTUALLY TAGGING PEOPLE??? ME???

I never thought I’d seen the day~

I only have two people, though, who I think would actually want to/enjoy doing this. No pressure though.

@captains-price and @charrhylis

<3

#Tag game #Sal speaks #Love long ass questoin lists like thsi tbh #my bread and BUTTER baybeeeeee #also if you are wondering WHY jinxx bit me it was because i was making a sound he doesn't like #but it was for a dnd thing that i'm recording #and he just REFUSED to let me do it in peace #had to restart that track 4 times no joke #anyway LITERALLY no pressure to answer the questions #i love you all #and hope you have a great day #also sorry for the dpressing tags on shit lately #the mental illness has been acting up but I am Forcing it to Fuck Off

[skelenyxx]

3 - Antics ~WOR

"You better hang on if you're taggin' along cause we'll be doin this 'till 6 in the mornin'. Nothin' wrong with goin' all night long. Tough to put the brakes on, doesn't matter when you'd rather get up, and go out. Me and all my friends. We drink up, we fall down and then we do it all again. Just sittin around, hangin out this afternoon." ~ This Afternoon - Nickelback

.•*•.•*•.•*•.

*Andy's POV*

I walked through the double doors of the office out into the school yard. The lunch bell had already rung, so many students were bustling about carrying books or trays of food.  I used to be like that once, and the thought actually made me shudder a bit.  Yikes.

I set out across the grass heading towards the cement area where the tables were. A few students stopped what they were doing to gape at me as I passed them, as if they hadn't already done enough of that at the assembly this morning.  "Fag," muttered a big guy in a football jersey as I passed him. I turned and flipped him off. Fuck haters, that's all I have to say.

I continued walking until I reached the tables on the white cement. I scanned the tables, looking for the girl who set up this whole thing; Katrina. I finally spotted her, sitting alone at one of the far tables with her nose in a book. Her long, straight, dark blonde hair was blowing around in the breeze and glinting like gold. She had on a brown leather jacket and had the sleeves pulled up over her hands. She was also wearing tight blue jeans and grey boots. She definitely didn't look like the typical, stereotypical girl who would experience bullying. She was pretty, in a sort of goody-two-shoes way.

I plopped myself down in the seat across from her. She looked up, eyes wide.

"Hey." I said, a smile playing on my lips.

"H-Hey," she stuttered nervously. She looked down at her feet, redness creeping up her neck.

"You're Katrina right?" I knew she was, but I felt like asking anyway.

"Yeah," she smiled thinly at me.

"I'm Andy. Andy Biersack," I told her.

She smiled. "I know who you are," she replied.  "I'm a fan."

"Oh. So you listen to us?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," she chuckled.  "You guys are my favorite band."

"Oh really?" I smirked.  She nodded.  "So what are you reading?" I inquired, looking at the book in her hands.

"Well, um-" she began but was cut off by a high pitched voice.

"Katrina!" the voice exclaimed, sounding sort of pissed off. I turned around to see the same snobby blonde girl from the assembly marching towards us. I heard Katrina sigh, sounding kind of annoyed.

"So, this is your idea of a fun experiment?" she asked when she reached us. "By bringing these emo fags to our school?" She put her hands on her hips and glared at me.

I was about to say something back, but Katrina shot a look at me telling me to stay silent.  I clamped my mouth shut, watching the exchange.

"Savannah, just leave us alone," Katrina snapped. "They are not emo fags. They are real people who are living out their dreams, which is more than you can say about yourself."

Savannah scoffed at her and stalked off, walking right past Ashley who was walking towards us with Jake, Jinxx, and CC in tow.

"Hey Andy," Ashley said when he got to us, sitting down next to me on the bench. Everyone else followed suit by sitting at the surrounding benches. "We were wondering where you wandered off to. You're Katrina right?" He looked at Katrina.

"Y-Yeah," she stuttered in reply, redness creeping to her face yet again.

"Well, I'm Ashley, this is-"

"She knows who we are," I cut him off with a small chuckle.  "We're her favorite band." I smirked and her blushing got even darker, which I didn't even think was possible.

"Oooooooo. So the goody-two-shoes listens to Rock music, huh?" CC asked looking at Katrina who was sitting next to him.

"I am not a goody-two-shoes!" She gasped, glaring at CC.

"Oh please!" Ashley laughed. "Everything about you screams good girl, from your hair to your make up to your shoes. I'm sure you probably have straight A's and I bet you don't even cuss."

"I do to cuss!" she replied with a laugh.

"Then say 'fuck.'"

She looked him dead in the eyes.  And opened her mouth, before closing it again, somewhat resembling a fish out of water.

"Goody goody!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"You soooooooo are."

She sighed in defeat. "You know what? It doesn't matter 'cause I could still kick your ass either way." A devilish grin curled on her lips, her blue eyes glinting.

Jake gasped. "Oooooooo the goody-two-shoes cussed!" He laughed.  Katrina just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh you're mature," Jinxx joked. Katrina laughed an airy, light-hearted laugh, one that made us all smile and laugh with her. All except for Ashley, who rose from his seat and walked over to Katrina, looking somewhat serious.

"So, you think you could kick my ass?" he asked, looking down at her. Her laughter died, along with ours.

She smiled. "Yeah, I probably could."

Ash sighed and picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder like a potato sack and began walking off with her.

"PUT ME DOWN PURDY!" She yelled, making us all laugh. She tried unsuccessfully to hit him and kick him, but just ended up making her self tired. Ashley just laughed at her. So did we. Since Ashley's back was to us as he walked off with her, Katrina was facing us. She glared at us, causing us to laugh even harder.

"I'm serious Ash. Put me down. People are looking at us like we're crazy!" she exclaimed.

"I don't care," he replied. They were about twenty feet away from us now and Ash was starting to turn around to bring her back.

As they got closer Katrina looked over her shoulder at us. "You guys better not be staring at my ass."

"You don't have anything to stare at," I replied.

"Hey!"

"Just kidding!"

"Why are you looking?!"

I threw my hands up in defeat. I wasn't going to win this battle.

"Put me down," she whined with a laugh and tried once again to free herself from his grasp, still failing miserably. I rolled my eyes, still shaking with laughter.

They finally reached us and Ashley put her back down on the bench next to CC. She tried to look angry, but couldn't contain her smile and ended up laughing with us.

When we were finally out of breath and the laughter died, Jake turned to Katrina and asked, "So, how long have you been listening to our music?"

"Since 9th grade," she responded. "My best friend was in love with you guys and was constantly trying to get me to listen to you. At the time, I was completely against it. You guys, no offense, kinda scared me with the looks. I judged you by the way you portrayed yourselves and I didn't want to like you guys. But after a few months of her constantly nagging me, my curiosity got the better of me. I looked you up on Pandora, and as soon as I heard the first song, something just, just clicked. The message behind the music, the style, everything, it just fit." She sighed. "All of my previous thoughts about you guys just disappeared. I fell in love with everything about you guys, and as I listened to more and more of your music, the more and more I realized who I really was. I had been hiding who I was the entire time and as I listened to your guys' message, I changed. I became less worried about what other people thought and more about what I thought. Due to that though, I've kinda butted heads with the majority of the popular kids here. But I honestly don't care. They can think what they want." She smiled thinly when she finished.

"Wow," Jinxx started. "That's awesome Katrina.  I'm glad we were able to help you."

"Yeah, sorry to get all serious on you guys, but your music literally changed my life. It was the beginning of my love for Rock and it helped make me the stubborn, out-speaker I am today." She smiled again.

I had heard story after story about how our music had changed fans' lives, but hearing this story form her was just different. She had given up the potential of popularity and people accepting her for our music. We helped her find herself and she was proud of it. I was happy for that. I mean, I'm sure I'd probably heard fan stories like this one a million times before, but it's never really hit me like Katrina's story did. She just seemed so innocent.

"What was the first song you heard?" Ash asked her.

"Believe it or not, God Bless You." She grinned a cheesy grin.

"Really?" I questioned. God Bless You is one of our more heavy rock songs. She nodded in response. "Is it your favorite too?"

"No, In The End and Carolyn are my favorites."

"Good choices," Jake told her.

"So what classes do you guys have?" She asked us all as she checked her phone for the time. I did the same. We had five minutes until lunch was over. Oh joy.

"All of the classes you have," Jinxx replied, pulling out his schedule and scowling at it. "First period, Economics.  Second period, Advanced Choir. Third period, AP English 12.  Fourth period, Spanish II. Fifth period, Algebra II. Sixth period, P.E. And seventh period, Biology. May I ask why you have things like AP English and then you have low classes like Biology which should've been taken in your like Sophomore year?" He actually looked quite confused.

"That's because I don't actually take those classes, I'm a Teacher's Aid in them. The only classes I actually take are Advanced Choir, AP English, and P.E. Since I started taking summer courses, I've pretty much maxed out all of my educational classes. It was either be a T.A. or take electives like welding and stuff. Not my thing really so yeah... How come you guys are taking all of the classes I am?"

"You are the one who set this up. We figured that we'd get to know you better." Ashley told her, smirking at her for some unknown reason. She shrugged.

"So how come you guys are wearing your war paint?" She asked us. "I'd heard you had stopped doing it."

"We have. We just thought it'd be funny to see people's reactions to it," I laughed. "Needless to say, it had the desired affect."

She chuckled. "Yeah, it did."

I heard the bell ring, signally it was time to start heading to fifth period, which, according to Jinxx, was Algebra II. Joy... I'd passed that class once before, and I hadn't liked it much then. I doubt I will now. I was snapped from my day dreaming by Katrina's voice.

"So since I'm the only one her that knows how to get to class," she said as she stood up and began to gather her books from the ground. "Does this make me your chauffeur?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," I said as I too rose from my seat.

"Okay then," she replied cheerfully as she hooked her arm through CC's and mine. "Shall we?"

This should be fun...

#bvb #black veil brides #bvb fanfic #bvb fanfiction #black veil brides fanfic #black veil brides fanfiction #andy biersack #andy black #andy biersack fanfic #andy biersack fanfiction #jake pitts #cc #ashley purdy #jinxx #the wild ones #wild ones #wretched and divine #story of the wild ones #the prohpet #the mystic #the mourner #the destroyer #the deviant #prophecy #fanfic #fanfiction #AU #f.e.a.r. #my writing #wild ones rebellion

[alightwhendarknessfell]

ANONYMOUS SUBMISSION

“Unless it’s a verified profile with a blue check mark, myself and the other dudes in my band are not talking to anyone. We don’t give our phone numbers out, and we don’t talk to fans secretly or anonymously. That’s the whole reason we have verified profiles so people can’t impersonate us. Anyone claiming to be us, and it’s from a phone, or a profile that’s not with a blue verification badge, IT IS NOT REAL!! Stop being so naive and gullible believing every damn thing. If someone says they know us and talk to us on the phone it’s 100% not true. If it comes from a verified source meaning a verified profile then and only then is it legit.  Thanks…PS, use some common sense.”

Oh Jake. So close. That was almost a professional, yet firm message to fans. Until you insulted them and scolded them. Do you know the age demographic for your band at all? Your band’s age demographic is roughly 13 to early 20’s. According to Ofcom, a fifth of children aged 12-15 will believe things they find online with unquestioning faith. They’re often unable to tell what is a legit piece of research or factual information and what’s a scam, lie or something created for money or personal gains when compared with reliable sources. This means a lot of teens are quite naive when it comes to the online world and when it comes to taking things at face value. Ofcom made a report in 2015 called ’ Children and parents: Media and Attitudes’ and in it, reported that children between 8-15 believe information on social media websites like Twitter, Facebook and YouTube is ‘all true’. Ofcom’s findings challenge widespread assumptions that the generations who have grown up with the internet – so-called ‘digital natives’ – are automatically savvier about the online world.

The prefrontal cortex is associated with judgment, decision making, and mental flexibility—or with the ability to change plans when faced with an obstacle is undergoing a lot of changes in a teenager, it’s developing as they grow and as such, the teenage brain is much more vulnerable and it means they can be more naive and easily taken advantage of.

There is direct evidence to show that teenagers can be naive when it comes to things online. You don’t need to be a scientist to know this or have a general understanding that teenagers are quite gullible. It’s ‘common sense’. The thing Jake is telling teenagers to have when it comes to online gossip coming from non verified sources. So is it any wonder when teenagers take gossip at face value? Add in that many teens like drama and gossip.

Secondly, Inna threatening lawyers. The First Amendment allows for a lot of free speech, and secondly, unless Inna can prove that the gossip online has directly affected her career in a negative way and it’s directly hindered her on a personal level, she’s got no case to sue a bunch of young people online gossiping. The law only protects your reputation. It does not protect you from personal insults or from hurt feelings. So, if a person publicly calls you an asshole or immature, then you will probably have to suck it up and get over it.But if someone says something like the below then there’s potential for a lawsuit:

1: Accuses you of a crime.

2: Accuses you of having a serious contagious disease like HIV or AIDS.

3: Makes negative comments about your business which impact said business.

4: Accuses you of cheating or adultery.

Then potentially you could sue them over it. But lets face it, what lawyer is going to take that case? 'Oh um could you sue these young kids online who are gossiping about me please?’ She’d probably end up having to pay the legal fees for both parties and if she’s looking for financial compensation, what’s she going to get out of a bunch of young people? Candy? Makeup? $20? Also know that these types of comments/remarks must be made to someone else (and not just to the person that the statement is about). Otherwise, there is no lawsuit.

Lawsuits are expensive,especially defamation lawsuits. They must be commenced in supreme court and not in a small claims court. So it’s not cheap to take someone to court over mean things they say online. And ultimately, Inna would put herself into substantial debt, just to sue some people online and get nothing out of it.

Similarly, you can’t sue someone if they say your music is bad, your dress sense is bad, they don’t like your makeup, they think you’re ugly, etc. Most opinions don’t count as defamation because they can’t be proved to be objectively false. Inna can’t, for example say 'Someone said my music sucks, I want to sue them’ because a court can’t go 'Well…we think it’s great so yeah, sure.’ because it’s subjective. The whole point of defamation law is to take care of injuries to reputation. If you want to sue for defamation you need to prove that what was said/written has damaged your reputation or career or personal relationships with family/friends etc. Someone saying 'I think she smells’ or whatever is not defamation. But someone saying 'Inna did [insert crime here]’ would be classed as defamation.

So simply cutting and pasting the definition of defamation isn’t going to cut it. People are entitled to talk and gossip as they see fit so long as it’s not false shit. Also the law treats private citizens and public figures differently. The standard for libel against a public figure is higher. You have to prove not only that the information is false but that the tabloid intended “actual malice” and that is very hard to prove. Specifically, for the public figure you have to demonstrate malice, whereas the falseness of the statement is what matters for the little people. Inna and Jake are public figures, so the law changes when it comes to defamation.

But malice doesn’t mean “because you disliked the person” in a legal context, but rather “did you know it was false, or were you at least reckless with regards to determining whether it was false?”

In regards to this whole 'Stop bullying us thing’. I’m assuming Jake and Inna read this blog. You’re a popular Tumblr, Ren, and I’ve no doubt that some people have screen capped a few anonymous posts and sent them to Inna and Jake.

Jake, Inna, you need to grow thicker skin. That’s the whole part and partial. You need thicker skin. You are both public figures, you’re in the public eye to a point, you’re in careers where you are letting people see you, you post a lot on social media, you are quite open about certain aspects of your personal lives. As such, you need to be prepared for people to comment, criticise and generally be douche bags.

Thin-skinned people often care more about avoiding disapproval than with getting approval. The touchiness, irritability, and defensiveness of people who are thin-skinned often result in silent disapproval by others. Sometimes the disapproval is not silent. Thin-skinned people can become very upset and preoccupied with internal focusing on slights from others. This interferes with their ability to experience the approval and support of significant others. When the Dalai Lama was asked “After the massive destruction the Chinese communist government has wreaked on your country and people, why aren’t you angry?” He replied, “If I got angry, then I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night or eat my meals peacefully. I’d get ulcers, and my health would deteriorate. My anger couldn’t change the past or improve the future, so what use would it be?” (T. Chödrön, 2001).

Have a better sense of who you are and not how you think others think you are. Learn to be more comfortable with yourself and you will slowly be more desensitized by other’s judgments. “Thick skin” = Unapologetic. You may say things like 'I’m who I am, sorry haters’ but you obviously aren’t too comfortable, because of this insane need to react to 'haters’. They are young kids, young adults. They probably have nothing better to do than discuss gossip about band members. They probably enjoy it. At the end of the day, as adults beyond 20, you should be the mature ones and learn to let it go over your heads and stop reacting to it. You cause yourselves more stress when you start yelling and being passive aggressive to a bunch of kids online. If you put yourself out there and aren’t a pissy hard-headed little shit, you’ll attract people like yourself and can enjoy that. If you look you can find people for whoever you are, so why not be what feels best (assuming what feels best isn’t being off putting)? Derive your sense of self worth from how well you’re living your life for you, not from what others say. Realize you have control over yourself and your own thoughts and feelings. Upon realizing these things, you have much better control on how they affect you emotionally. You can then make the choice to subject to those emotions or let them go.

I have a personal rule when it comes to people making fun of me, insulting me and so on online: If I’m not mad enough to physically fight someone, I’m not mad at all.

You choose to let things said online bother you, you choose to go on these huge blocking sprees and witch hunts. You essentially hurt yourselves by doing so. Stop getting people to send in screenshots, stop going on witch hunts for young adolescents and grow thicker skin, and act more professional. You can be intimate with fans in the sense of sharing photos and vlogs, but you can also show them where the limit is, without lowering yourself to a gossipers level and insulting fans. BVB, with the exception of Jinxx and Cc, are all guilty of encouraging drama, by being secretive and letting little bits of info slip to fans. This whole business with Ashley supposedly leaving the band, that fact that Jake has said Ashley doesn’t do bass and that he himself tracks the bass, things like that cause drama. If you don’t want drama, don’t toss titbits of gossip to fans like you toss scraps to starving dogs.

You can either be 'best friends’ with your fans, or treat them as fans and keep them at a distance. If you want to be buddy buddy with your fans, then keep going as you are, and you’ll get a buddy buddy situation where half of them love you, half of them gossip about you, like you get in all friend situations. Or you can keep them as fans and control the info they get by keeping your mouth shut in public circles where fans can readily get the info (This is honestly not hard, lots of bands do this.). In which case. BVB and Jake and Inna need to stop using fans like minions and using them for personal gain and witch hunts. Because when you start giving fans liberties, they start to take advantage and start to treat you like they might treat their own friends. In which case the thin line between fan and 'idol’ is gone and you have the situation BVB and Jake and Inna have on their hands right now. Which is unruly fans who gossip and suck up to them, like you get in all clique friend circles.

Also, a lot of this boils down to a loss of respect from both parties. BVB, Jake and Inna all have an issue in that they have lost respect for fans and in turn, fans have lost respect for them. When you insult, scold and belittle your fans, they are going to be offended. When you do what Andy did and dismiss your fans and insult them, they’re going to be hurt and angry. When you constantly do what Jake and Inna do with fans, they’re going to be offended and treat you like a joke.

Mutual respect on both sides needs to be key in fan and band interaction, and BVB and Jake and Inna just do not have that anymore. They’ve lost the respect of their fans and they have lost respect for their fans.

[artificialqueens]

Birthday Woman (part 1/2) (katlaska, trixya, katya/everyone) - Aliena

All Katya wants for her birthday is to make out with someone. Trixie has an idea.

AN: I just wanted to write something set during Katya’s birthday funeral bash. This is what I ended up with.

”So, what do you want for your birthday?” Trixie asks as she’s changing her outfit between two recordings of Unnhh. ”And please realize that I’m only asking to be polite, because you’re obviously getting an advance, and very exclusive, copy of my album,” she continues as Katya purses her lips thoughtfully. ”Oh, do you have an album?” Katya asks, smiling innocently when Trixie narrows her eyes at her. ”I was going to sign it, thereby rendering it priceless, but you can forget about that now,” Trixie says. Katya leans her head on Trixie’s shoulder in a silent apology. ”I don’t know,” she sighs. ”I want to make out. Not with you,” she adds hurriedly, because she can feel the way Trixie stiffens for a second. ”I mean, I always want to make out with you.” This is objectively true. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for the fact that Trixie is a lot less enthusiastic about the prospect, which does take pretty much all the fun out of it. It doesn’t sting as much as it used to, though. ”But really, just making out with anyone, I guess.” ”Are you kidding me?” Trixie says, the disbelief evident in her voice. ”You brought home trade just last night. I saw him, he was hot and he was all over you. How is the endless supply of hot guys inexplicably willing to sleep with you not enough?” And it’s true, Katya has no trouble finding men eager and ready to be fucked in any way she fancies, but in most cases nothing much comes before the actual fucking, and nothing much after. ”But I miss the actual making out,” she says, pondering how best to explain it. ”You know, when you’re with someone who you’re just content to kiss for hours on end without it it necessarily leading anywhere. I guess I just miss kissing people.” Some of the trade doesn’t seem to even care about that part, and for some it seems to be too intimate, probably for the ones who are cheating on their husbands or wives. Trixie twists her shoulder away, forcing Katya to raise her head. ”Are you okay, or are you actually dying or something?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. ”Because this doesn’t sound like the insatiable slut I know and love.” Katya sighs deeply. ”I’m turning thirty-five, Trixie,” she says, not quite managing to keep the whine from her voice. ”I’m allowed to have a tiny midlife crisis.” Trixie snorts. ”The way you smoke, having a midlife crisis at thirty-five seems highly optimistic.” Katya hits Trixie’s shoulder with her fan, just hard enough to sting. She’s become quite adept with the fans by now. ”Don’t you ever miss making out like you did when you were 16?” ”I didn’t make out when I was 16, Barbra, as well you know,” Trixie says testily. ”I was, through no choice of my own, pretty much celibate when I was 16.” ”Fine,” Katya concedes. ”Making out like you did when you were in college, then?” She steps out of one dress and into another, turning around to let Trixie zip her up. Trixie shrugs. ”I guess I still do. That’s what boyfriends are for. You might want to try that.” ”Blech!” Katya says, making a disgusted face at herself and Trixie in the mirror. ”Feelings, complications, devastations, conditions, contritions, traditions, not worth it.”   Trixie puts her arms around her, giving her a tight hug from behind. ”You’re a freak. But at least I will always love you. The original Dolly, though, not the Whitney version.” She kisses Katya’s temple lightly, and Katya smiles. She is over it, her never-existing thing with Trixie, mostly, apart from the part of her that will never be over it, that will always wonder what if. But the rest of her has moved on to new unknown pastures, where the grass may be greener and hopefully more healthy. If grass even grows that far north, she’s not sure. ”Ready?” Trixie asks, running her fingers through Katya’s wig, fixing the errant strands. ”And willing,” Katya says with determination, and they head back to their chairs. *** She’s late to her own funeral, due to some encounters with fans that were just to fascinating to hurry.  It seems fitting somehow, though. If there’s any event that can’t start without the guest of honor, it would be a funeral. When she gets backstage, the other queens are all already there, and she can feel rather than hear the conversation grind to a halt as they notice her. ”Birthday girl!” Courtney exclaims, after a silence that is just a fraction too long. ”Excuse you, birthday woman,” Katya says and looks around the room. Everyone looks slightly caught out. She looks at Trixie, who won’t look at her, and Alaska, who is studying her her nails.   ”Should I come back later?” she asks, already turning around.   Bob shakes her head. ”No, I think we were pretty much done,” she says. She’s been leaning against the wall, but now she straightens up and walks over to Katya. ”It was all fairly straightforward.” And with that she takes Katya’s chin in her hand and kisses her deeply. Before Katya can even react she’s suddenly upside down and it takes her a second to realize that Bob has actually dipped her, all the while maintaining the kiss. She has no fucking idea what’s going on, but she isn’t going to let this opportunity go to waste, so she enthusiastically responds to the kiss. She’s not gonna lie, she’s entertained a vague little fantasy ever since they filmed Gaywatch. And yeah, they’re both using a little bit too much tongue for it to be a great kiss, but judging from the applause and whistles she can hear from the other queens, at least it’s a great show. When Bob finally pulls her upright again, she’s more than a little dizzy. ”Thanks, Bob,” Trixie says drily. ”Way to be subtle.” ”What?” Katya blinks. ”Wait. What?” ”How the fuck were you planning on keeping this subtle, Trixie?” Bob asks, just as drily. ”Oh, hi Katya, happy birthday, we’re all going to kiss the fuck out of you, but there’s nothing premeditated about it at all.” ”I just imagined a little bit more finesse, that’s all,” Trixie says. ”I liked this way,” Sharon says thoughtfully, and Bob high fives her.   ”You would,” Alaska mutters. ”What?” Katya asks again, of no one in particular. Trixie shrugs, almost defensively. ”Well, I did ask you what you wanted for your birthday, and for some godforsaken reason everyone was quite willing to pitch in.” Katya suddenly remembers their conversation from a couple of weeks ago, and her eyes widen as she looks around the room. ”Seriously?” Sharon winks at her, Ginger looks long suffering, Violet smirks and Alaska is studying her nails again, on the other hand this time. Katya claps her hands together as if in prayer. ”Tracy Martel, you are a goddess among women and too good to walk this wretched earth. And the rest of you are also deities, albeit not as glorious as the divine Trixie. Although, that could change. Obviously Bob has already moved up the celestial ladder.” Trixie shakes her head. ”I’m regretting this already. I didn’t take into account how insufferable this would make you.” Katya takes Trixie’s hands in hers, bends down and kisses them. ”Goddess,” she repeats sternly. Then she straightens up and spreads her arms wide open. ”I’m yours for the taking!” she announces to the room in general, and, unable to take herself seriously, immediately breaks out laughing. ”That’s just gross,” Ginger says, wrinkling her nose, but it’s Jinkx who steps forward. She takes a few steps in the direction of the dressing rooms, motioning for Katya to follow her.   ”A lady does her kissing in private,” she says, and lets Katya go ahead of her.   ”You better leave Katya out here, then,” Ginger calls as the door closes behind them and Katya cackles with laughter.   ”I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Jinkx says thoughtfully, leaning against the door. ”Oh, you don’t have to do this just because Trixie told you to,” Katya assures her hurriedly, but Jinkx shakes her head. ”No, not you and me. That’s actually a good idea.” Jinkx smiles, making her eyes sparkle and Katya bites down on her own bottom lip in sheer surprise and delight.   ”Just in general, this whole thing,” Jinkx continues. ”I foresee bad things happening.” Katya frowns. ”When Trixie referred to you, of course in an utterly complimentary way, as a swamp witch, I assumed she was talking about your choice of attire. Clearly, she was hinting at your hitherto unknown powers of predicting the future.” Jinkx just looks at her, in the way only Jinxx can, like she knows everyone darkest secrets. ”And you see no reason why this could get completely fucked up.” ”Nope,” Katya lies. Jinkx shrugs. ”It’s your funeral.”   They both realize the truth of her words at the same time, and start laughing. Jinkx takes hold of Katya’s wrist and pulls her closer, still laughing as she kisses her. Everything about Jinkx is deceptively soft, Katya thinks. Her lips, the taste of something sweet that Katya can quite place, her waist under Katya’s hand. She knows Jinkx well enough to know that there’s steel underneath, but for now, in this kiss, it’s all soft. When they break apart, even her eyes are soft, and Katya has to squeeze her hand tightly.   ”You are the absolute pinnacle of loveliness and womanhood,” she says, and Jinkx smiles serenely. ”I know.” *** ”This is becoming a habit,” Katya says, as Sharon sets her drink down to wrap her arm around Katya’s neck.   ”Everyone needs a bad habit,” Sharon says, drawing Katya closer. ”I’m trying to give up smoking, so I’ll need a new one. Interested?” ”Always,” Katya says, her breath hitching as Sharon slowly moves her hand down her back. She’ll never stop being slightly in awe of Sharon Needles, there will always be traces of the nervous fan she was the first time she met her, no matter how many times they work together, or how many times they make out on stage. From the corner of her eye she sees Alaska leaving the room, and she’s reminded that she’s not the only one with feelings for Sharon that will never quite go away. She feels guilty for a second, and a flash of jealousy for other reasons, but then Sharon’s lips are on hers and it becomes impossible to think about anything else than that. Sharon kisses like she does drag, it’s intense, memorable and more than a little bit intimidating. Katya’s almost relieved by the familiarity of the taste of cigarettes. She can feel Sharon’s nails pressing against her back and her knees weaken a little by the thought of what those nails could do to her if there wasn’t a dress in the way. And then the kiss is over, as sudden as it began. ”Always a pleasure,” Sharon says, using her thumb to wipe off a trace of lipstick from the side of Katya’s mouth, and Katya smirks. ”Might almost be worth giving up smoking for,” she says. ”I might need a bit more convincing, though.” Sharon smiles, with a lot of teeth. ”Anytime.” *** ”Right, let’s get this over with,” Ginger says, beckoning Katya closer with a regal wave of her hand. Katya widens her eyes as much as she possibly can. ”Oh my god, this is the best fucking birthday ever!” She turns the last word into a loud squeal as she sits down on Ginger’s lap, enjoying the exasperated look on Ginger’s face. She’s tried to get Ginger to kiss her countless times, but that queen is made of steel, and has proven immune to Katya’s advances. ”How is this my life?” Ginger mutters as Katya puckers her lips and bats her eyelashes. Then she kisses her and Katya’s taken aback for a second. She expected a reluctant peck, but Ginger definitely goes for it. She should have known, really, Ginger never does anything halfhearted. She tastes like mint, and the thought of her chewing gum in preparation makes Katya wants to hug her so she does. She enjoys the heft of Ginger’s body next to hers, and while she has her arms around Ginger, she goes in for a quick grope as well, quickly receiving a sharp pinch to her ass in retaliation. She replies by pinching Ginger’s arm quickly, and Ginger sinks her teeth into Katya’s bottom lip, just hard enough to hurt. Katya gasps, breaking the kiss. ”Kinky,” she says, impressed. ”I did not expect that from you.” Ginger just shakes her head. ”Happy birthday, cunt,” she says, not quite succeeding in hiding the fondness in her voice. ”Oh, you are done for,” Katya says, squeezing her tightly one last time. ”Before I was just curious, now I know you’re good, mama! I’m never leaving you alone again.”   Ginger scowls at her, and then looks over Katya’s shoulder. ”Thank god!” she exclaims. ”She’s all yours” Katya turns around to see Violet, looking immaculate as always. The rest of them at least have the decency of looking somewhat disheveled after two days of Drag Con, but Violet doesn’t let little things like the turning of the world affect her appearance. She’s smirking at Ginger’s words. ”You’d think it was my birthday,” she says, winking at Katya. Ginger rolls her eyes and leaves them to it, muttering on her way out. Katya’s pulse speeds up a little as she meets Violet’s gaze. She never knows quite what to expect from Violet. Actually, that’s a lie. She does know what to expect, and that’s what makes it so interesting.   Violet regards her silently for a few seconds, and it takes all of Katya’s willpower not to squirm. Then she narrows her eyes and grabs hold of Katya’s hand. ”Come on.”

#rpdr fanfiction #birthday woman #aliena #katlaska #trixya #jinkx x katya #vatya #ginger x katya #courtney x katya #bob x katya #katya x sharon #rare pair #katya zamolodchikova #alaska thunderfuck #trixie mattel #bob the drag queen #courtney act #jinkx monsoon #ginger minj #sharon needles #violet chachki #this is really sweet #submission

[becomingonewithourritual]

Saviour: Chapter 5: “”I Feel The Pressure, It’s Coming Down On Me”

  “Where the hell am I?” I think to myself as I open my eyes and find myself looking at white walls and equipment surrounding me. I take a sharp breath in and realize that I have to be in the hospital. One, because I’m hooked up to a machine that is beeping, Two, the smell is awful just like most hospitals, And three, I am wearing a hospital gown. How the hell did I get to a hospital?

  Just as I am sitting up, while still being utterly confused, I hear voices out in the hallway…

  “What happened exactly Jake?” Well that sounds like Jinxx.

  “I told you I don’t know EXACTLY what happened. I called him on the phone early this afternoon and asked him if he wanted to hang out and he sounded just fine. I go pick us up lunch and then walk into his house and find him sitting against his cupboards on his kitchen floor almost completely out of it. I have never seen him act like that. It was scary. I even looked around him on the floor thinking maybe he had overdosed or something ‘cause that’s how he was acting. I couldn’t get him to snap out of it. I even slapped him trying to get him to come to and he was gone after that. I called 911 and then dialed you guys and that’s all I know. I’m not sure exactly what is going on with him but he has me worried to death.” I can hear Jake’s voice crack with the last few words which makes me feel terrible. I never meant to worry anybody.

  “Well just be glad you found him when you did Jake or he could be in way worse condition. Has the doctor even spoken to you yet?” CC’s turn to speak.

  If they were all out there then that had to mean that…

  “No the doctor hasn’t told me jack shit and it’s really pissing me off that nobody is giving my a straight answer,” Jake says and I can hear the frustration in his voice.

  “I wonder why Andy hasn’t shown up yet. I figured he would be like one of the first ones here after you called him,” Jinxx again.

  “I actually haven’t called Andy yet,” Jake says and I feel somewhat of a relief mixed with gratitude for having a friend like him who understands my situation. I’m pretty sure he understands it anyway. At least he understands it more than I thought he did.

  “What? Why not? Jake, Andy would want to know about this, trust me. Besides you and Ash, Andy and Ash have always been close. Why would you not call him?” CC this time.

  “Because you know what happened with them two. They had a huge blowout and I am just trying to respect Ash the best I can. I know Ash and I’m not sure if Andy being here would be the best option right now.” Thank you Jake.

  “But still despite their differences he’s in a hospital for God’s sake Jake. And quite honestly I think it’s time for them to work out whatever the hell it is that went on between them and get over it so we can get the band back on track. Speaking of which, did you ever talk to Ash about that?” I feel irritation at CC but at the same time I really can’t blame him for being ticked off at me. I probably would be too if I was in his position.

  “No. What do you think I was going over there to talk to him about today?” Jake says.

  Ever since Andy and I had our scuffle I hadn’t really been around the other guys much. I have kind of quit the band. Not officially, of course, because playing is my passion but I had told them that I needed a break and I know I’m not going to be able to hold if off much longer. I know that there are thousands of fans anticipating the new record and wanting to meet us but I also know that being around Andy is not a good idea right now.I’m in a bit of a pickle…

  All of a sudden a new voice joins the guys and it’s unrecognizable. I immediately know it’s the doctor by the way she starts to speak though.

  “Are you friends or family of Ashley Purdy?”

  “Yes. We are all his friends. What happened to him doctor? Is he going to be okay?” Jake asks as concern fills his voice.

  “Well physically yes your friend is going to be just fine. Emotionally, however, I can’t say the same. His stress levels are extremely above normal and he must have hit his head somehow because he has a minor concussion. Nothing life-threatening, of course, so it’s nothing to be concerned about. But if you’re friend doesn’t learn how to take it easy this can become life-threatening.”

  “So wait, you’re telling me that all of this that has happened. Him acting the way he did and being unresponsive was due to stress?” Jinxx is always the skeptic.

  “Oh yes sir you better believe it. Stress can cause you to become extremely ill if you don’t deal with it or manage it well. I suggest you talk to him or find someone who will maybe a therapist and a psychiatrist even. Get him somebody he can talk to, so that way he doesn’t end up back in here in a more serious condition than what he already is. I’m going to need to count on you gentlemen to keep an eye on him and come find me as soon as he wakes up.”

  “Okay we’ll tell a nurse as soon as there is any change in him. Thank you doctor,” CC says all too nice. Must be a cute doctor. “So do you guys think she would go for giving my her number?” CC asks and I can just imagine the looks he’s getting from Jake and Jinxx right now.

  “Really CC? One of your best friends is lying in a hospital unconscious and all you can think about is getting the doctor’s phone number?” Jinxx says and I hear the sound of a well deserved smack on the head.

  “Ow watch it. I was just kidding. Just trying to lighten up the mood a little. Trust me I’m just as worried as you guys are but I’m trying to make light of the situation. Thank you very much,” CC says and I can tell he isn’t really offended.

  “So what do you guys think? Do you think I should call Andy?” Jake asks bringing the subject back to Andy way before I want him too.

  “Honestly yes, I do think you should call him. Or I can, it doesn’t really matter but either way he needs to know,” Jinxx says.

  It’s at this point where I really wish I wouldn’t have to wake up. I know now that I will have to see Andy again before this day is over with.

  “Yeah you can call him and I’m going to check on Ash,” Jake says.

  I quickly lie back down and pretend to still be asleep as I hear the door handle turn. I’m not sure if I really want anybody to know that I am awake or even alive for that matter…

#Andley #Andy Biersack #Ashley Purdy #CC #Christian Coma #Jinxx #Jake Pitts #Sammi #BVB #Black Veil Brides

[sempiturtle-fiction-blog1]

Walk Away (Part 7)

After a little while, Alex looks at Jake with wide eyes. “Do you think Ashley is okay?” She asks him worriedly. Jake nods, giving her a reassuring smile. “Ash will be fine. Don’t worry.” Alex nods back hopefully and looks off in the direction Andy went, a bad feeling in her stomach. “You wanna go see him?” Jake asks her. Alex turns to him, shocked, wondering if he’s had the same bad feeling as she has. “Huh?” She replies. Jake seems to notice that she thinks he is talking about Andy and says, “Ashley, I mean. Do you wanna go see Ashley?” Alex sighs. “Oh…yeah,” she says back. The two of them begin to walk outside. Just before they get to the door, Alex turns once more to look back where Andy went, silently hoping he’d come out. She is still worried about him despite all of the things he said. Jake opens the door for her and says, “You coming?” Alex looks back at him and nods sadly, heading to his car. Jake walks over and opens her door for her then gets in the driver’s side. As he drives to the hospital, he looks at Alex worriedly. “Alex, are you okay?” He asks. Alex shakes her head and swallows back tears. “No,” she says, “I’m not. How could Andy do this? How could he hurt Ashley?” She says, knowing that Jake is wondering the same thing. Jake shakes his head and responds, “I don’t know, Alex. How could he hurt you? I mean God, none of us even believed it at first when we heard about him leaving you. We’d never had a doubt in our minds that he loved you.” Alex shuts her eyes and leans her head against the window. “I don’t understand it,” she says, a silent tear falling down her cheek. Jake takes notice of this and says, “Hey, don’t cry. Andy isn’t worth it. Look, I know you’re worried about him, but don’t be. Andy’s good at acting. I never would’ve dreamed that he’d do this to you, but if there was some other reason, he would’ve told one of us. He’s treating us the same way for not being on his side. He’s being a douche. You shouldn’t spend your time worrying about him. Andy knows he can tell us anything. He doesn’t seem to think what he’s doing is wrong though.” Alex nods slightly. “I know. I’m just worried that something else is wrong, you know? Maybe we can get someone else to check up on him later to make sure. I’m also just really worried about Ashley. He shouldn’t go through this for me,” she says sadly. Jake pulls into the hospital parking lot and parks the car, turning to look at Alex. “I’ll call one of our old friends to go check on him right now. I’m still worried about him too. And as for Ashley, don’t abandon him because of Andy, okay? I know you don’t want him getting hurt because of you, but it’s not your fault. It’s Andy’s. Ashley cares about you a lot and would hate to lose your friendship. I hope you know that,” he says seriously. Alex nods and says, “I know.” They get out of the car and walk up to the hospital as Jake calls their friend, Brad, who says he will go check on Andy. After a few minutes, they’re standing in the waiting room. Christian comes in and gives Alex a hug. “He’s gonna be fine. His nose is broken, but that’s all. The doctor still wants to keep him here overnight as they check to make sure nothing else is damaged and get him back up on his feet, but he’s going to be alright. Wanna go see him?” He asks. Alex nods and Christian takes her to the room, leaving Jake in the waiting room. “I’ll give you two a moment,” he says and waves at Jinxx down the hall, motioning for him to come with him. Alex walks in to see Ashley, less bloody than before, lying in the hospital bed with a crooked nose. Despite the pain he is in, he smiles the moment he sees her. “Hey, Alex,” he says happily. Alex walks over and hugs him tightly. “Ash, I’m so sorry…” She says. Ashley hugs her back and sighs. “I’m okay, Alex. You don’t need to be sorry for anything.” Alex pulls back from the hug and sits down on the edge of the bed, looking at him sadly. Ashley shakes his head and says, “I’m sorry, Alex.” He looks away from her, feeling awkward. “Why are you sorry?” She asks confusedly. Ashley sighs and answers, “I’m sorry for kissing you. I know you’re probably upset at me for it.” Alex smiles slightly and lifts his chin to look at her. “I’m not upset at you, Ash. But…why did you kiss me?” She asks, a little nervous. Ashley flexes his jaw nervously, wishing she wouldn’t have asked. “I just knew that Andy was going to be a douche to you and I wanted to distract him and make him realize what he really lost.” He looks back down, knowing he isn’t telling the full truth. After a few moments of silence, Alex replies as if she can tell he’s lying. “Is that all?” She asks. Ashley slowly nods then begins to shake his head. “No, I can’t lie to you…” He says, “That’s not all.” Alex looks at him questionably. “What is then?” She asks. Ashley sighs and leans back in the bed. “It really doesn’t matter…” He says quietly. Alex moves a little closer and replies, “It matters to me.” Ashley looks at her for a few moments, pain in his eyes, and then says, “I-I love you, Alex….” Alex looks at him, shocked. “W-what?” She asks him, unsure if she heard him correctly. This time, Ashley speaks with a bit more confidence. “I love you,” he says, looking into her eyes. Alex’s breathing quickens as her eyes dart around the room. She is unsure how to respond. “You love me…like a friend?” She asks nervously. Ashley pauses for a moment, wishing he hadn’t said anything. “Well, yes…and no. That’s not what I meant.” Alex finally turns back to him. “What did you mean…?” She asks. Ashley sits back up and moves closer to her. He stares into her eyes, his face inches from hers, and says, “I’m in love with you, Alex. I have feelings for you much stronger than friendship. But Alex, please don’t quit being my friend. I value our friendship so much, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’d never push you to do anything or try to make you feel guilty for not feeling the same. I’d never even speak about these feelings if you didn’t want me to. Just please don’t end our friendship because of this. Please.” Alex looks into his pleading eyes and replies, still in shock from what he said, “Ashley, I would never end our friendship… It’s very important to me too. I know you wouldn’t ever do anything to jeopardize it… But…how long have you felt this way?” Ashley sighs and hesitates for a moment. “Ever since the day I laid eyes on you. From that moment on, I knew there was no other girl out there that could compare to you.” Alex shakes her head, knowing he’s wrong about that, but doesn’t comment on it. “We met before Andy and I even started dating. You never even told anyone?” She asks him, still confused. Ashley shakes his head. “Everyone knew Andy had feelings for you, and everyone except Andy could tell you felt the same for him. I didn’t want to get in the way of that.” He looks down, feeling embarrassed. A few seconds of silence go by, then Alex says, “That song you wrote…” Ashley smiles sadly and nods. “It’s about you,” he says, waiting for her to tell him she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore, but she doesn’t. Instead, she lifts his chin and looks in his eyes, a small smile on her face, and says, “Ashley, that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Ashley looks a bit shocked and replies, “Andy never wrote you a song?” Alex shakes her head sadly. It is her turn to look away. Ashley turns her face toward him with his hand and says, “Well, he should’ve. You deserve to be written a thousand songs.” Unexpectedly, at these words, Alex leans in and kisses him passionately, causing him to fall back on the hospital bed. It takes him a moment to grasp what is happening, and then, he falls into pure happiness, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him so that the space between their bodies is filled. He kisses her back, his stomach filled with butterflies. All of a sudden, Alex sits up abruptly, pulling out of his embrace. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking,” she says quickly. Ashley stares at her confusedly, but before he can reply, she walks out of the room saying, “I’m sorry.”

#black veil brides #bvb #bands #black veil brides imagines #bvb imagines #ashley purdy #andy biersack #christian coma #jinxx #jake pitts #imagines #imagine #band imagines #fanfiction #fanfic #stories #story #sad

[becomingonewithourritual]

Saviour: Chapter 15: “The Truth Is Revealed, Something I Didn’t Know You Already Knew”

 I am sitting on the bed in Jake’s guest bedroom wondering how my life got so screwed up so fast. How it went from me finally thinking that things were getting back on track to me and Andy fighting again. As I’m sitting here I hear the sound of a car door and walk to the window to see Andy pulling out of the driveway way too fast letting me know that he is extremely pissed off. I also realize that Andy must have walked to my house earlier from Jake’s as I see that he is in his own car.

  As he speeds out of sight I press my forehead against the window and I feel something wet hit my neck. I touch my face and realize that I am crying and didn’t even know it. I walk back over to the bed and throw myself down on it.

  “Why does this always have to happen to me?” I ask myself quietly as I turn on my side and pull my knees to my chest. I begin to cry to myself trying to be quiet about it in case the guys decide to come into the house.

  “Ash?” I hear Jake’s voice say as the hallway light hits me in the face. So much for trying to be quiet I think to myself as he walks over to the bed and sits down next to me. “Ash what happened? I saw Andy storm out of here all angry and pissed off.”

  “We kind of got into it again,” I say as I sit up and feel something jabbing me in the ass. I reach down and pull Andy’s notebook out from underneath me, still open to the song that I don’t want dedicated to me.

  “You’re joking? Ash man what happened this time?”

  “Please don’t start Jake. I didn’t mean for it to happen but I said some things that I didn’t mean and that I will apologize to him for. He won’t stay mad for long this time. It wasn’t anything that serious,” I say as I wipe my face with the back of my hand.

  “Is it about him wanting to be with you but you not wanting to give him that chance again?” Jake asks me making me instantly look up at him in complete surprise.

  “What? What are you talking about?” But I realize too late that my reaction told him the truth not my words.

  “Ash don’t lie to me okay? You don’t think I haven’t figured out the truth about you and Andy? Me of all people? Ash you’re my best friend but I’m not stupid okay? I can see there is something going on between you two just by the way you look at each other. The look you have for Andy is the same look that Jinxx has for Sammi okay?” Jake says as I feel my face getting hotter by the second.

  I try to say something but am unable to utter anything except for, “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry? For what? Ashley I don’t expect you to be sorry. What I do expect, however, is now that you know I know the truth about all of this is to be open and honest with me about your feelings okay?”

  “Okay but I don’t know what to say Jake. It’s weird talking about it with anybody except for Andy. I mean do the other guys know? Have you said anything to them?” I ask with hesitation.

  “I haven’t personally said anything to them no, but I think they, like me, have suspected it for a long time,” he says as relief washes over me. “Ashley I want you to know that you don’t need to feel weird about this okay? You can’t help who you love and we all know that. And we’re not going to judge you or Andy because of this. At least I’m not and I’m pretty much positive that the other guys won’t either,” he says as he lays a consoling hand on my shoulder.

  “Thank you. That means a lot,” I say swallowing hard.

  “So do you wanna talk about this?” he asks me with a serious tone to his voice letting me know that he is opening the conversation door wide open.

  “Um well I don’t really know what to say. I mean like how much do you know? How long have you known?” I ask in true wonderment.

  “Well I’ve known for quite a while. Since way before you guys got into it the first time and quit talking. Um I think I realized it when we were doing the video shoot for perfect weapon. I remember I was standing by the vending machine that wasn’t too far from our dressing room. I was trying to decide what I wanted out of it when I saw you guys coming out of the dressing room out of breath and sweaty. I mean it was pretty obvious what you two were doing not that I need the details so please don’t share them,” he says making me laugh. “But yeah I think ever since then was when I figured it out.”

  “Okay but how much do you know about what Andy put me through?”

  “Well I kind of figured the reason why you guys quit talking there for a while was because he wanted to be with you and you didn’t want the same,” he says making me shake my head laughing. “What? Is that not right?”

  “No you’re not even close. Well you’re kind of close I guess. I know the kind of persona I give off suggests that it would be that way but no, it was the other way around. I was the one who wanted the relationship and Andy was the one who wanted it to be more of a physical thing,” I say making Jake raise his eyebrows in surprise. “I know surprising right?”

  “Yeah just a little bit. I never really took you for the relationship type Ash. I’m impressed,” he says making me smile again.

  “I know big shocker. The big whore of the group actually wants a relationship. And this is the exact reason why I have never been that type,” I say making him laugh this time.

 “Well I didn’t mean it that way. I was just saying. You’ve always been the type to just want to have fun and fool around instead of dealing with all the drama a relationship can bring,” he says shrugging.

  “Yeah it took me a long time to figure out that’s what I wanted but when I finally did I was kind of hoping and even expecting Andy to feel the same way. I mean when things first started developing with Andy we both agreed that it wouldn’t be anything other than fun with no strings attached. Well after awhile, and I’m sure you can agree with me on this, when you’re intimate with someone it’s going to go beyond just fun and feelings are going to develop whether you want them to or not,” I say as Jake shakes his head in agreement.

  “Oh yeah I can definitely agree with that. When I was still living at home that happened to me as a matter of fact. I was friends with a girl and I had known this girl ever since high school. We started fooling around thinking that was all it was gonna be and eventually feelings developed, like you said, and we got together. We weren’t together for very long though, ‘cause not too long after we got together was when I moved out here and at that time I couldn’t afford to support her and myself so it ended but we still keep in touch now,” he says making me feel not so alone about this situation.

  “Well now that Andy and I are on good terms again, or were on good terms I should say, he’s the one that adamant about having a relationship and I’m the scared one. The first time this all happened he told me that he has always had feelings for me he just didn’t know how to handle them. When I told him I wanted more he told me that he panicked and ran away then. And now HE’S the one who wants more and I’m just left here wondering if I am the running away from my feelings or am I just too scared to let my heart go there with him again? It’s all really confusing Jake. I mean I thought everything was going smoothly again and then BAM this had to happen,” I say as I wrap my arms around my knees.

  “Well what you need to do Ash is really search your heart and listen to what it’s telling you. If you heart is telling you to give him another shot then do it. If your heart is telling you to wait and see how everything pans out then do that but don’t do anything because you feel pressured to do it. If you do anything out of pressure you’ll end up making the wrong decision and then you’re going to either be hurt or miserable in the end. So just make sure you listen closely to what your heart is telling you and follow its direction. The heart wants what it wants so don’t deprive it OR yourself of happiness okay?” he says placing his hand on my shoulder again.

  “Okay. Thanks Jake for helping me finally get this all off of my chest. And for breaking the ice, I guess you could say. But can you do me a favor?”

  “Sure name it.”

  “Could you just not mention this to the guys? I mean if they know or suspect it then that’s cool but in case they don’t know I don’t want them to just yet. Not until I at least figure out what it is my heart is telling me regarding Andy.”

  “Okay I can do that. Can I tell you one more thing?”

  “Yeah sure.”

  “I’m just going to suggest this and you can do what you want with it. I really think that you should go find Andy and apologize to him and make things right with him. You guys have always been such close friends. From the day you met you were like instant best friends so don’t let that go. Finding good friends these days you can trust is not an easy accomplishment by any means so go and make things right with him,” he says as he stands up.

  “I was actually just thinking about doing that but thank you for your concern,” I say also standing up.

  “Okay well I need to get back out there before Jinxx drowns CC,” he says as he makes his way to the door.

  “What? Why would you have to do that? What did CC do this time?” I ask as I grab my clothes off the floor and begin to get dressed after realizing that I am still in my swimming trunks.

  “Well when I came up here to see how you were doing and to find out what happened, him and CC were having a water fight in the pool and when I left it looked like Jinxx was winning,” he says making me laugh as I pull my shirt over my head.

  “Well tell Jinxx that if he drowns CC then we’ll have to work on once again finding a new drummer. One that can double bass better than CC and that is going to be hard to do.”

  “Yeah you ain’t kidding there. Call me later after you find Andy and let me know how things go.”

  “Ok I will. Oh and Jake?” I ask making him turn to face me.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks for, you know, being here for me. It means a lot,” I say as I pull my jeans up and button them.

  “No problem. Anytime brotha,” he says before exiting the room.

  I now check myself over in the mirror and look around me to make sure I’m not forgetting anything. I pick Andy’s notebook up off the bed. As I’m walking towards the door to leave something on the floor catches my eye. As I look down I realize that Andy’s clothes are also still here. I think back and realize that he stormed out of here in his swimming trunks. I pick them up and wad them into a ball sticking them under my arm.

  As I am making my way to my car, after grabbing my phone off the kitchen counter, I bust out laughing at the visual of Andy driving around in his Batman swimming trunks pissed off and can just imagine what the fans would say if they knew.

#Andley #Andy Biersack #Ashley Purdy #CC #Christian Coma #Jinxx #Jake Pitts #Sammi #BVB #Black Veil Brides