#also just me but she kind of looks like beth harmon in queen's gambit here

[theowritesfiction]

alright, this looks like a fun list to put together, thanks for tagging me @juniperhillpatient <3

10 characters 10 fandoms 10 (ish) tags!

Katara / ATLA – yeah, gasp, no Azula, I always say I love them both equally, but I’ll go with Katara this time. A lot of the times, I will find the good girl too plain or boring, but that couldn’t be further from the truth with Katara. Katara has too many good character traits for me to list, but she also comes with plenty of flaws, painful childhood trauma and some unresolved anger issues. Put together, it makes for the kind of complex character that I always become deeply attracted to.

Adora / SPOP - again, no Catra, gasp, but I wanted to continue with the good girl vibe, and Adora definitely has a lot of similarities with Katara, good girl with issues. I would say that Adora is a lot more patient than Katara, and it takes a lot more to push her to the breaking point. Also, Adora has the kind of martyr complex that’s not very obvious in Katara.

Dawn Summers / BTVS – okay, I’m cheating a little here, normally I would go with Faith or Buffy here, but @juniperhillpatient already picked Faith, and Buffy is such an obvious choice. And I do love Dawnie because I always stand up for the underdog. Coming into the show the way she did, having all this conflict with established characters, turned many (horrible and wrong) fans against her, but I want to say that every issue she ever had was totally valid. Just thinking about what this kid was put through in S5 is still crazy.  

Elizabeth Harmon / The Queen’s Gambit – okay, maybe it’s just me, but watching one of my favorite actresses portray a stunningly beautiful young woman who destroys the patriarchy at the chess board meant everything to me. She also has one of the worst, if not THE worst childhoods on this list, and even the foster family that took her in treated her so coldly. Raised with no love in her life, Beth struggles with empathy and finds it very hard to form relationships.

Aeryn Sun / Farscape – for the crime of conceiving a child out of love, her mother was given the choice to kill her lover or her child. She killed Aeryn’s father so that the child could live. Aeryn was then brought up by the state, in a heavily militarized society, pretty much bred for war. Over the course of the show, Aeryn slowly and reluctantly learns the value of forming genuine emotional connections and experiencing all these ‘weak’ feelings.

Susan Ivanova / Babylon 5 – first openly (or at least very heavily implied) lesbian – or bi – character that I came across in any TV show. Her romance with Talia is deeply tragic and captivating. Susan is an unflinchingly loyal and courageous character, but I also remember really appreciating her snarky sense of humor (as well as her stunning looks, ofc)

Angua von Uberwald / Discworld – I had to include Angua because her character concept is just so fascinating. The City Watch books are my favorite in the series, and while I love all the characters of the Watch, Angua is a personal favorite. It’s always fun to watch her balancing her werewolf nature with the demands of her job and just fitting into human society and having meaningful relationships. She also has very tense relationship with her family who are way more into traditional werewolf lifestyle of hunting humans for sport.

Shadowheart / Baldur’s Gate 3 – it wasn’t easy to decide between the BG3 ladies, but it had to be Jenevelle. It’s so hard to summarize her, because you have to first establish which Shadowheart you’re talking about. Taken as a young child, Shadowheart had her memories erased by the worshippers of Shar, twisting her into a disciple of their cruel deity. This is why when you begin traveling with Shadowheart, she will usually respond well or at least won’t denounce evil and cruel choices, but even then, you can see occasional glimpses of another, gentler personality underneath, one that someone has tried very hard to erase. Helping her denounce Shar, allowing her to reclaim her memories and find redemption is maybe the most rewarding experience I’ve had in any video game. She’s also beautifully voiced and has an amazing sense of humor, even if she doesn’t verbally obliterate people the way Minthara does.

 Audrey Horne / Twin Peaks – I guess Audrey would be the femme fatale of this list. She’s the spoiled brat with the rich daddy, used to get whatever she wants. She’s pretty manipulative and enjoys toying with people. Audrey’s big flaw is that she thinks she’s more mature and cleverer than she actually is, so she occasionally will get herself into a lot of trouble by not thinking things through. She is a really fun character, though, especially when she’s at her spoiled worst at the start of the show.

Rachel Amber / Life is Strange – I wanted to put Rachel after a character from Twin Peaks, because Rachel is so obviously inspired by… no, not by Audrey, but by Laura Palmer. Both of them have this outward glamor girl appearance, but underneath it, there’s a dangerous fascination with the ugly and filthy aspects of human experience. Rachel is also taught by many to be extremely manipulative (which I don’t necessarily agree with). It’s true that Rachel needs attention as much as she needs air. In many ways, Rachel is like a social chameleon. She just effortlessly makes people see in her whatever it is they want to see.

Anyway, I’ve rambled way too long already, have a great day and I’m sorry if you read through all that!

#tag games #I probably forgot someone important #oh well

[summersareknives]

hi ess <3

lily best milf ever SO TRUE!!!! & i did see theinvisiblemuseum's art its SO good i love their art sm.

tay time! closure, out of the woods, & clean <3

and omg pink lemonade! i loved that fic it was so good. (im trying to get my fic rec for u but AO3 IS DOWN RN. UNBELIEVABLE!! ill have one for next time i promise)

chatting time <3

having a pic of a pigeon as a souvenir from a trip is pretty funny tbh. imagine travelling across the world and the only thing u brought back was a single photo of a kinda-ugly bird.

podg ben & dune timmy❤️ im so excited for the next dune film purely for more scenes editors can use for reg. like yes i like the dune series but im a simple woman. i have priorities.

medium well on an exam is better than medium bad !! i think its a cause to celebrate. also i hate it when everyones talking about the answers they got and u got something completely different. i start panicking so bad.

we truly did win the bff lottery. get urself a friend who brings u food in the rain and dances in the kitchen to jazz with u or threatens to send u to a mental hospital. theyre rare.

tbh kentucky seems like the kind of place to have colonel sanders just everywhere. thats their pride and joy he must be displayed. i bet they have tons of kfcs too.

L & E AND L & B FTW!!! so real. and u have a marriage pact? thats so cool. liv has a long term bf so we dont but if i asked her to she might leave him so. i did have a marriage pact with another good friend but she moved away </3

and omg i hate condescending people sm. they piss me off so much like STOP UR NOT BETTER THAN ME!! especially if shes asking if u know what a computer processor is like girl who cares there are bigger things to worry about i promise.

LIKEAFUNERALL'S XENO>>>>> pandora was winning fr.

gary oldman and timmy in the same video = literal jumpscare. and yes ive seen that pic of ben & andrew and i literally cried. i thought it was edited at first but it wasnt and i cried . #wolfstar

a hozier concert would fix me and i truly believe that. also my entire tiktok fyp is just edits with work song now?? like how does it know we were talking abt that song on here. i fear tiktok is spying on me .

and omfg. i have seen the jesus/judas edits. at first they were really funny like why are people making jesus fancams.....but then they got like actually kinda sad and i felt bad for jesus. like sorry u had shitty friends man . i promise ur really popular nowadays </3

i swear harry is being americanized. he spends so much time there hes forgotten his roots and that the rest of the world exists. like why does he need to do several shows in la or nyc when he can travel elsewhere !!

i dont trust people who dont scream cruel summer ESPECIALLY "he looks up grinning like a devil" like its a scream-or-nothing situation.

piss & gladiators <3 sorry rome but its true. maybe i can fit something else in there. rome, the eternal city of piss , pickpockets, and gladiators.

u should totally give them detentions. abuse ur power. especially if theyre making u late to exams?? so rude of them tbh.

i hate being full named sm. luckily im the one who full names liv and not the other way around so i can live in peace <3

im always seeing art with lil baby harry calling remus his uncle moony and it KILLS me every time. :((

also omg "dumpydumpster"..... fuck that old man fr.

book lovers>anyone else!!!! i cant imagine being with someone who doesnt know who remus lupin is its just not happening.

yes chess!!! every time i play i channel all my beth harmon from queens gambit energy. even if i lose it doesnt matter im still slaying.

u know putting down an answer for every question on ur exam is all that matters !! its better than nothing and i live by that.

annotating books for each other>>> i had a friend and her and her gf annotated sappho's poetry for each other. it was so fucking sweet i wanted to cry.

and hozier writing a song abt u?? literally my cause of death. get urself someone who will write a beautiful song abt u <3

i wanna go to portugal so bad. i looked up the sanctuary of our lady fatima and it looks so peaceful <3 i love old churches tbh they always have such a nice calming vibe. and omg algarve?? that looks SO NICE!!! i need to be at a beach there rn. and all the food sounds so good. im so hungry now.

oh what id give to have james' no-hangover power......that should be me.

the ship name moonwater kills me cause like why are we using reg's cause of death😭 give him a break !!!!!

omg secondary house slytherin!! welcome <3 & the only reason i have so many patronuses is cause i was unsatisfied with the first few so i retook the test a bunch LOL. i figured raven was good enough so i left it at that.

dairy queen <3

"ex gifted kid now try hard" SO TRUE!!!! why cant things just be easy now .

omg timmy tim at the oscars! if i see two timmys this year ill know whats up.

american chocolate is SO GROSS like i know canada has a lot of american chocolate too but at least we have SOME european chocolate thats actually good.

sadly the snow is pretty much gone :( it rained and now its just mush. bad day for snowmen enjoyers.

wait thats so funny to have a taller georgie i love it. and a shorter clown thats hilarious id laugh so hard

killing barty is so funny to me. like yes i like him but yes he absolutely deserves it.

ill make liv get that tattoo even if its the last thing i do idc.

hoarding nail polish and lipstick> so real of u. my nail polish collection is way too excessive and some colours are just Not it. like girl why do u need 3 different browns theyre so ugly.

that quote kills me every time i read it ( i had to read that play for a class and it was like a slap in the face fr.)

mskingbean knows whats up. and omg yes little women references<3333 they take me out every time i read them.

seeing seth rogen & john mulaney was really weird but u know whats weirder? seeingf the entire riverdale main cast walk by only for a literal train of teenage girls run after them. im not kidding it was so funny.

humpty dumpty party mix is a such a funny name ur so right actually. it even has a little humpty dumpty egg guy on the bag i love it <3

omg lover being ur first dance song <3 its the perfect song for that fr. but yes rep is perfect for when ur needing to feel like a criminal !!

fr seeing the parthenon changed my life. i need to go back or ill perish.

i think harry would be proud if he knew i came out to his song tbh. but lu figuring u out? SO REAL. liv already had her suspicions and after the crying told me i radiate "potent bisexual energy" so.

r(edge) 4ever idc. it just sounds sm better.

AHAHA va fa napoli kinda is a swear, it doesnt actually have a bad meaning but it basically sounds like "vaffanculo" which means basically "fuck you" or "go to hell". & omg wanting to learn swedish for young royals MOOD!! i took french throughout all of primary school and im still shit so. bad canadian over here

ur qs

being a gold digger is so real of u. i support this endeavor.

lily evans is such marriage material its not even funny!!!!!

SIX LANGUAGES!!!!! THATS SO COOL!!!!! we got the rosetta stone over here people. i had a friend who was gonna teach me some hindi but she moved away

topaz obsidian & amethyst <33 all so cool.

u should totally watch it, its so good. the last episode where that quote was from was genuinely the most heartbreaking and beautiful episodes of television ive ever watched like ever. it was so good.

forests <333 love myself a nice lil sun dappled forest with woodland creatures wandering about. tbh where i live u can visit all 3 at the same time so i could never pick just one.

omg a hairdresser i love that. im actually my own hairdresser (ie i dont wanna pay for a professional so i just cut and dye it myself) i wanted to be a makeup artist but that dream didnt last long.

wait cancer thats actually cool. i dont think many people know much about how it works & biology is so fascinating sometimes. and yesss ofc platonic soulmates <333 we dont have time for superficial friends!!!

timmy and louis <3 (get louis away from grandma STAT!!!!) ofc flo and zendaya. excellent choices.

*gasps in spotify user* okay but to be fair apple music & spotify are like nearly identical at this point. i only use spotify cause i dont wanna move all my music to apple music itd take way too long.

i love canis major sm. and draco too its such a cool looking constellation.

AWW i love that sm. cant believe he danced better than u thats hilarious. he came to slay and to slay ONLY!!! and the toaster gift? thats so funny and sweet. i hope hes ready to slay again at the next wedding🕺

omg wingstop i want so bad too. they make it sound so good and i need to try it before it die. and omg birria tacos are SO good. highly recommend.

answering qs

ive got a few topics actually: the life of agrippina the younger (emperor nero's mother) and her rise and fall to power; the sociopolitical role of a woman in sparta versus athens; lord of the rings as a whole; the tragedy of star wars and the themes of hope and rebellion. oh and space! i love space and astronomy sm.

worst advice ive ever given: i accidentally helped someone get rejected💀 it was the guy who liked me on and off during high school, he liked this other girl for a bit and asked me what he should do, so i told him to be honest with her and tell her how he feels or else nothing will ever happen between them, so he did and she turned him down for being too forward. oops! at least hes not into women anymore.

worst advice ive taken: tbh ive got no idea. i can be a very paranoid person so when people give me advice i take extra care to think it through so ig ive managed to avoid shitty advice.

which element id be: bismuth bc its symbol is Bi <3 and its rainbow and cool. gay element fr.

undercover spy name: this is so lame but if we're going along the james bond theme id go with 008 cause my fav number is 8.

savoury or sweet: savoury forever. i love sweet stuff but its easy to get sick of it if u have too much.

fav friend: phoebe!! also monica but only bc im a clean freak like her & i also love to cook.

3 wishes: gimme a couple million dollars, the power to stop racism/homophobia, and an endless supply of pasta and im a happy girl.

how long id last in a zombie apocalypse: id like to imagine id be absolutely killing it out there but id probably freak out and die like right away. id at least try and be the best doomsday prepper i could possibly be but i cant even drive so i dont think im lasting long

fav stone: opal! biased bc its october's birthstone but its so pretty. i also love emerald cause thats my fav colour. also malachite. very pretty colour.

fav constellation: scorpio (again, biased. but its cool looking), canis major, leo, & lupus. i cant choose just one.

weirdest dream: i once dreamt that i had lunch with anne hathaway?? it was just a normal lunch. i think i had like mac and cheese or something. i woke up very confused.

worst dream: i once dreamt that i got pregnant and my mom kicked me out & when i woke up all i wanted to know was who the father was tbh.

best dream: i once dreamt that i was living my normal life but my soulmate was there and it was great. except they didnt have a face cause idk who my soulmate is but at least i got to have a dream about it.

timmy or ben: timmy. i love ben but timmy will always be it for me. lil timmy tim girl since day one💪

movie food: popcorn for sure but also reese's! sometimes gummy worms if they have them.

last text i sent: i told one of my friends to watch lockwood & co. on netflix. v fun lil ghost hunting show based on a book series, highly recommend!

last text i got: one of my old roommates said "im always thinking about morbius" like okay girl!

phone calls or text messages: text messages!! phone calls make me so anxious. text messages at least give u time to think of a response if ur anxious. phone calls are merciless and will expose ur antisocialness.

greek tragedy hero: i got achilles. not sure how i feel abt that but okay! (omg u got orpheus thats the best possible answer imo!!)

fav meme: idk if i have one specific fav meme but dumb tiktok humour gets me a lot. back in the day old vine humour was hilarious to me (def mostly cringey now but oh so nostalgic)

qs for u!

whats something on ur bucketlist?

do u have any hobbies?

fav app on ur phone?

least fav icks?

what would u do if u won the lottery?

do u believe in ghosts/the supernatural?

where can someone find u at a party?

go-to karaoke song?

whats the craziest thing youve ever done in the name of love?

if u had to lose one of the 5 senses, which would u pick?

early bird or night owl?

if u were stranded on an island, what 3 objects would u bring with u?

unpopular marauders opinion?

what would u do if u were the last person on earth?

fav number?

fuck marry kill: james, reg, lily.

whats one language u wish u were fluent in?

thats all for now <3

(also i realized these are always SO long & im prob clogging up ur page with my rambling so if u ever want me to stop just lemme know!!!)

-bee

hi hey hello bee :)))))

THEIR ART IS LEGITIMATELY TOP NOTCH IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD.

tay tay -

closure - JEGULUS - listen , I think it's literally James after they break up. like to me it's him 'seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain' I can so so so imagine that being him to Regulus after a long day and all he can feel is PAIN.

out of the woods - JEGULUS - claiming this song especially for my jegulus , but to me it screams of a pair of people (James and regulus) absolutely in love and one of them (regulus) trying so so hard not to be , but 'the monsters turned out to be just trees' and 'when the sun came up you were looking at me' - so so so them.

clean - LILY - ok at first I WAS thinking jegulus , but then I listened and I was like 'Lily Evans' like can you imagine???? her after finally telling Snape to fuck the fuck off , and feeling so much pain , but then one morning waking up and finally being 'clean' (side note - I forgot that u existed is also for them)

SKSKSK I haven't finished it yet - reading mental by sara_holmes - a legilmency drarry fic in which a miscast spell makes them hear each other's thoughts. ( also no. 'tis not okay. execute you.)

chatting :))))) -

pigeons are motherfuckin ugly and I would NEVER waste my camera storage on them. I'd literally rather take a picture of a rubbish bin. hate those pesky arse bastards.

YES YES YES oh my god I'm so excited for dune 2. it has Timmy , zendaya , Flo - literally a bisexual's DREAM cast (and also Austin butler??? I think???) can't wait to go there with the old lu and fucking watch every second ( he fell asleep in the last one.)

I celebrated by getting brownies !!!! nah , honestly when they do that , I'm all like 'keep ur gob shut u mf lepers' they have no common decency like DUDE can you let me fail in peace ???

kitchen jazz , walking through the ran and threats to go to the mental hospital <3333 how lucky we are :))))

they should have a colonel sanders statue like the one of Jesus in Brazil. like , I've said this before , but no one would KNOW Kentucky if not for kfc. and horses , I think. kfc and horses.

lelblelblelb !!! that's so rude of her she should break up with him immediately. pronto. see lu hasn't had a girlfriend in the entire time I've known him. so I'm thinking he'll still be a loner at 40. I might not be. (jk we both won't be. he'll find some girl and I'll find someone too!!! (said depressed because I haven't yet found someone) )

nah she's a bitch for real. but she's pretty. but she's a bitch. girl fuck your RAM and your motherboards. and there are so many bigger things to worry about. like global warming or whatever.

IK IK IK I LOVE HER XENO SO SO MUCH !!!! pandora was winning fr fr. (as was he. both are equally lucky to have each other)

I KNOW THAT MOMENT REALLY MADE IT FOR THE WOLFSTAR SHIPPERS !!!!!! like damn we made it happen. I just fuckin know it (so did we with the Timmy x Gary thing. like they for sure knew.)

hozier literally HEALS my soul. like he (and lu) are the only men ever <33 I think I'd be in fuckin tears if I ever went to a concert. (also same??? I got like three videos of Canadian glow coins ???)

Jesus/judas - nah I saw one of the Great War nd I fr was feeling for JESUS. like bro knew it was judas and he didn't say anything and ,,,, tragic (listen it may be blasphemous but I can so see like a Jesus/judas style marauders au. like it's so blasphemous. but it would be so good.)

BOY FORGOT HIS ROOTS. HE FORGOT THAT IT WAS US BRITS THAT GAVE HIM HIS CLAIM TO FAME. WITHOUT US HE'D NEVER 'GO AMERICA' THAT LITTLE BASTARD.

IT'S YOUUUU SHAPE OF YOUR BODY IS BLUEEE FEELING I GOT IS OOOOOH WOAH WOAH IT'S A CRUEEEL SUMMER (gotta go throw rocks at someone's window fr fr and have him look up 'grinning like a devil' like DAMN.)

piss , pickpockets & gladiators <333 London is the city of pigeons , rain and red buses. what's yours up there in canada??

I TOOK AWAY HOUSEPOINTS. IF THEY DO IT TOMORROW IT'S A LUNCH TIME DETENTION FOR THEM. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THOSE LIL BITCHES. full respect to the ones that keep out my way , love them.

it's so cool u can full name liv , because it's the other way round for me. like in a fully LOUD voice he full names me and I'm like 'fuck okay this shit serious'

and about lil harry and uncle moony I found this canary u might like (ac: letraspal)

I hate dumpydumpster so much. how dare u hurt my boy harry like that. (u bet I'm going to take it out on him in doa)

yes how am I supposed to be with u if u don't read. how are we supposed to keep each other silent company u don't fuckin read. and and remus lupin is god how can someone not know him.

CHESSSSS. I LOVE THE VIBES AND I'M GOING TO LEARN I SWEAR. and queen's gambit energy slays whether u win or lose. just saying.

except when the question is some astronomical shit and all u can think of is - damn. gonna pull a hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and go for '42'.

ANNOTATING SAPPHO'S POETRY FOR EACH OTHER??? THAT'S SO SWEET AND ONE OF THE MOST ROMANTIC THINGS TO EXISTS EVER ???? I WISH THEM NOTHING BUT THE BEST AND I HOPE THEY GET MARRIED FR FR.

ahhhh Fatima is my safe space.( and yes old churches on top. but there's an abandoned church like three streets away and it's like a horror movie style church. literally abandoned. posters from the war or some shit it's scary fr fr) and ALGARVEEEE algarve is home home. (the food is top-notch so I get u so hard) !!!

no same because hangovers are the reason Lucifer fell from heaven like wtf ???? (although lu does have a hangover cure , and if I'm the drunk one and he makes it I'm always at least 50% better. he a real one for that.)

THIS. EXACTLY. like moonseeker? at least do that?? give my boy a break okay like damn.

yes exactly like u better not stick me with shit like mole or rat or something u best believe I'm retaking that test. (thank u I feel welcomed indeed. but careful because I'm still a brave at heart.)

I want to go Dairy Queen.and wingstop. ESPECIALLY. wingstop.

got them chills from tmt like that song HITS HITS.

Timmy Tim and Tim Timmy <333

european chocolate is the only chocolate that should exist. ban American chocolates. (also cannot believed they banned kinder eggs. like wtf dude???)

that's annoying as fuck I hate when that happens. sue the sky.

EXACTLYYYY OH MY GOD. a taller Georgie and a shorter it and it was fucking hilarious. everyone complimented us and we were so proud!!!

yes like I like him in fics in canon he go fuck himself into the deep pits of the nether worlds.

YES, U DO THAT , I DO LU AND WE WILL CONVERGE AT THIS POINT WHEN WE SUCCEED.

I would just burst into tears. straight up.

mskingbean oh how I love her. lw references have my heart (literally going to write one in chapter 13. so excited.)

who the fuck would run after them. if it was me I'd be running away.

I WANT TO GO THERE. I WILL ONE DAY. ONE DAY JUST U WAIT.

nah that sounds like such a fun cute lil snack I love that shit.

harry would love that for u. liz and lu know what's up , they got their bisexual best friends , and now they're allied as fuck.

glad it's a semi-swear. that's so fun omg. also I also took French in primary and secondary and I still cannot speak more than 'je ma pellet' (not correct but u get it). Lu's a fluent frenchie though , so I always got him to do my French hw , and I'd do his English. fair exchanges , that way .

GOLD DIGGER STYLES !!!!!!

LILY EVANS THE WOMAN THAT SHE IS <3333333

THANK U I LOVE BEING MULTILINGUAL !!!! also why everyone of urs moving away. that's kinda sad. (I teach u Hindi. then u can watch Bollywood movies which HIT.)

OKAY OKAY I HEAR U I SEE U I'LL WATCH.

yes like picnics in the forests with little bunnies running around in the sun aahhhhh. (also not being able to pick is so fuckin real of u. like I get that so hard.)

I too am my own hairdresser ( I lied because I tried then just called lu to do it for me so TECHNICALLY he's my hairdresser but I digress) I'm gonna be honest here. glad u moved away from the make up artist dream because no way would I be paying 500£ for facial makeup like girl damn does that shit come with a free diamond necklace or something ???

I know I know I moan about it tonnes but bio and them are my THINGS. and oncology + cancer has always been a bit of an interesting thing to me. very cool to learn about . (and yes!! we take only diamonds of friends !!!)

GET LOUIS AWAY FROM GRANDMA. and straight to me. I could treat him right. ( all jokes I have one louis already (that's lu right there.) however I might abandon my louis for that louis !!!

Apple Music is just BETTER. sorry , bee , I shall never use Spotify. Apple Music is like the HD version of Spotify.

Canis Major (especially the alpha star wink wink) & Draco stay winning I love them so so much.

he SLAYED. he slays always he's so good at dancing makes me jealous fr. and yes a toaster , and I told him not to bother but he did. which , admittedly , very sweet of him.

one day many years in the future I shall brave America just for the wingstop. (now I want to eat those birria tacos so bad like god come in my mouth rn bbs.)

reviewing ur q's <333 -

THIS ALL SOUNDS SO INTERESTING ??? I AM SIMPLY IN AWE ???? also yess yess yess space and astronomy forever like looking through a telescope being there being real and just so .... ethereal. love that for us ex-astronomy bitches.

nah bro got done so bad he switched to the other side. now I wanna know if he's still getting done bad by the men. but u did what u had to , and it's really just his fault.

avoiding shitty advice like YESS YESSS DAMNNNNN I wish I could do the same.

bismuth for bi is so real. bisexuals for the winnnnn. I'd be polonium because I want to be a poison. dangerous as fuck.

008 sounds so cool , but 007 has a ring to it. like it just does. idk what I'd be. 007 is my go to. so double oh seven it is.

no literally I can never get tired of savoury stuff , but I can of sweet things. like no one ever gets it , but I'm absolutely right. (brownies are the only exception to this rule)

Phoebe and Monica !!!! my baes I love them so much !!! my favourite friend is joey. I aspire to be a loveable slut too <33

a couple MILLION???? I'd be shooting for the billions ??? bad one bee. endless pasta yesssss as u should !!! (and yes so noble of u to stop the world problems. such a good person !!!! )

nah same I'd be killing myself before any clown kills me. or I'd be like Eddie , survive till the second movie then die on the cusp of happiness.

OPALS ARE SO PRETTY THEY'RE LIKE MADE OF PARADISE I SWEAR. and I fucking love emeralds and malachite (idk what the last one is but I'm trying)

YESSS SCORPIO IS SO PRETTY TOO!!! Canis Major also a win yessss. and Leo. ahhhh reggie I love u . but not as much as sirius. but I love u. AND LUPUS OMG (makes note of sirius telling remus about his very own star)

idk what you're talking about having lunch with Anne Hathaway is perfectly normal. and Mac and cheese with the queen of Genova ??? stay winning girl , love that for u and ur funny little brain.

nah because same. I had a whole ass baby with someone , beautiful and blonde and it was a cute lil baby boy and I was such a happy mother then I woke up and I was sad ???? like bro u were never a mother LET IT GO !!! pregnancy dreams are weird as fuck. especially when u dk who the father was.

ahhh yess having your soulmate by your side yessss I love. I've had so many dreams but I never know who the person is. like reveal yourself heathen so I can find u and kiss you on the mouth.

yes ben barnes hits but not as hard as Timmy Tim Tim.

this movie food sounds lovely. once I took a whole steak too the movies. + Yorkshire puddings. (but its okay because cinemas here don't have ushers. ) and people around us were eating shit like fucking lobster. like idk what we were on but that movie everyone was eating high cuisine. (but I love a good box of smarties , nachos + gummy worms myself. ALSO THE RAZZLE DAZZLE CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. THE WHITE ONES.)

ooooh interesting. I've actually seen some ads for that shit , adding to my list rn. (my own last text was 'can I be the banker today' and u can very well guess who it was to)

yes girl ! go ! to therapy !! (the last text I got was 'YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT BEING THE BANKER. FUCK NO. I'D RATHER KILL MYSELF. )

no yes I so get this because same. there's literally only one person I'd ever phone call/ FaceTime (lu) and I'm on ft with him now (he's not being neglected it's like a mutual study session where I study and he studies and also makes sure I'm studying.

achilles ! wow idk how to feel about that myself. u better not lose your lover or else you will literally raze the earth. (and I better not lose mine or I'll lose them again)

no same there are so many good memes idk how to choose it's way too hard. this one is my favourite-

my q's !!! -

getting married and having a family. I know I know some people will say 'not very feminist' (fuck them feminism is about choice) and dw CAREER is still on top. but I know I'm going to do that shit. I want that true love type of thing. the kind where you look at someone and go 'yes. you. you're the one.' that kind. damn this shit got me sentimental as fuck. and I really just want that happily ever after with my person and I want to have a family too. AND A CAREER. but I'd do that on my own too. u get me ??

eating brownies. and baking brownies. and jazz dancing. but brownies and jazz. and also , obviously reading and writing !!!

probably Tumblr. everyone is so chill here I love it.

are u asking about my idk ?? like the one thing that a potential date or someone would do to turn me off immediately ??? I'll answer it like u are hold on. when he's a mummy's boy. (and I've had this experience specifically with a boy). like oh my mum doesn't like it when u do that. my mum doesn't want me to do that. my mum would do that for me why don't u. idk motherfucker maybe because I'm not your mum????? the fuck ??? go date her then ????

world trip with my best friend and buy a huge giant mansion and fucking have the time of my life. and donate to charity and stuff , obviously.

near the window next to the snack table eating a cracker and holding a can of coke and chatting to lu. (if sober) // if not sober then on top of lu piggy back style trying to unscrew the light bulb and saying it's too hot but getting cheered on also by the unsober crowd. true story. happens weirdly often ?? but I always ask for piggy-backs when drunk it's like ... a thing.

*coughs* *brushes lint off of jacket* *coughs again* I CAN'T LOVE YOUUUUU IN THE DARRRRRKKKKK I FEEEEEL LIKE WE'RE OCEANSSSSSS APARTTTTT.

hmmm. going to go for platonic soulmatism (sorry to anyone I've dated. I just haven't crazy things for u. u were nice though. some of u that is.) I put itching powder in the uniform of a guy on the rival hockey team (he'd fouled lu and he was all taunty and shit and I had it in my pockets only because we'd passed by a partica shop and I had to go inside to buy shit for a party and I was like 'damn itching powder this is fun'). rest be assured Lu's team did indeed win. (the guy had rashes on his face next time I saw him , which , not my fault because that's not where I put the itching powder ??)

speaking. I can write notes , I can hear music , I can see my peoples. I don't mind never talking again.

night owl. I love getting my shit done late and staying up till like late then going to bed and refusing to wake up ever. this is also another reason I get full-named by lu sometimes. he literally has had to wake me up by throwing shit at my window before.

Swiss army knife , first aid kit , and lu. if people are not allowed , then I say phone. call for emergency and shit. or if people aren't counted , then I say monopoly. maybe the imminent cause of death will make him let me be the banker.

listen this is very unpopular but -it's not misogynistic if people say 'lily potter' instead of 'Lily Evans' . like that was her name. people are fully allowed to call her that??? it's not unfeminist to take your husband's last name , and someone should tell them that. (not talking about when she isn't married to James or when she's younger. ) but u get what I mean. like let people live damn she is a potter. at least in canon.

kill myself. very simple. but I'd need lu at the very least. can't live on the earth without the best friend (very sirius x James . except sirius did live without James....) I'd straight up kill myself if he died. very dramatic , I know. but we go down together !

3. u might have seen the reblog on my blog of this number going everywhere. but 3 is very dear to me. I think I really hate 2 though. like that bitch can go die in a ditch somewhere. '23' is a close second (hello I was born on the 23rd)

fuck lily marry James kill reg. sorry reg but I'm pulling the 'they're good people' thing. but I still love you. but I love them more.

hmm. I do wish I was fluent in French. I think I'd love to understand half the shit lu keeps saying to me. and maybe I'd've got a better grade in my French exams in secondary school !

q's for uuuu -

are you a mirrorball or this is me trying ?

drarry or dramione (feel ashamed to ask but I feel like I should )?

one ship has to go - jily or regulus ?

wolf star or jegulus ?

craziest thing you've ever done in the name of love ?

craziest thing someone's done in the name of love for you?

funniest story you have ?

craziest rumour you've ever heard ?

bitchiest thing someone has ever said ?

harry or Hermione ?

dramione or romaine (again , obvious answer , but I still want to ask )?

(AND NEVER STOP RAMBLING !!!! I LIVE FOR THE RAMBLES!!! THEY ARE ALL VERY VERY DEAR TO ME I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. come back soon bee I will miss u too much <33)

#ess waters a plant #bee <33 #ess's marauders x ts crossover

[lacebird]

#cute 60′s Wanda outfit that didn’t make the cut 

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wandavision 01x02 #marvel #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff #mcu #dailyavengers #dailymarvel #this outfit is so cute!!!!!!! #i'm deffo gonna steal this look #anyways the costumes are amazing i can't stress that enough jhghk #mine #gifs #also just me but she kind of looks like beth harmon in queen's gambit here?? i can see beth in something like this

[midwinterblinder]

This is me trying

A/N: I’m really into The Queen’s Gambit and the characters in it, so I thought I could write about them to get the hang of writing again. Little warning: I know nothing about chess, so I won’t really be writing any of the matches. Let me know what you think! (and yes the title is from a Taylor Swift song)

Chapter 1: “Look who’s back.”

Pairing: Benny Watts x Original Character

Benny saunters into the hotel lobby with his usual confidence as his eyes move around the room to see if there’s anyone he knows, but he stops dead in his tracks when he spots a familiair face at the reception. It’s a face he hasn’t seen in about four years and one he definitely didn’t expect to see at a chess tournament again. He clenches his jaw as he thinks back of the last time he saw her. She told him she was leaving, both the chess world and him. He thought she meant forever, but there she is looking more beautiful than he can remember, which he honestly didn’t think was possible. Benny shakes his head to get rid of those thoughts. He can’t afford to think of her like that, he’ll only end up getting hurt again. So he forces his face back into its usual cocky expression and makes his way over.

“Look who’s back.” Benny casually remarks as he stops a few steps away from her. He’s pleased to see her tense up at the sound of his voice, happy he still has an effect on her. It’s not something he should be this happy about considering the fact that he promised himself he would never go back there.

“Benny Watts.” His name falls off her lips as she turns to face him. She didn’t expect to see him here. His name isn’t on the list of competitors, she double checked that because she was really hoping to avoid him for a little longer. She knows it would have been impossible to avoid him completely if she wanted to get back into competitive chess, but she didn’t plan on running into him at her first tournament back. He caught her off guard by showing up her and she can’t have that around him. “It’s been a long time. Are you playing?” She asks even though she already knows he’s not.

Benny shakes his head. “Just here to see some friends.” He tells her as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his coat. She can still remember when he got that coat. He was still a teenager and thought it would make him look older. She had tried to tell him it had the opposite effect, but he insisted on wearing it wherever he went. “I didn’t know you were playing. I thought you’d sworn off chess.”

“So did I.” She breaths out as her eyes move to the room key in her hand. “I guess we were both wrong about that.” She tries to lighten the mood and sends him a smile as she lifts her head to look at him again. It feels strange to be standing so far away from him. She used to be glued to his side, leaning against him as he slung his arm over her shoulder, but now there’s distance between them on more than one level.

She watches as Benny opens his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted by someone calling his name “Benny, you made it.” Beth Harmon walks up to them with a smile. “The weather has been so horrible I thought you might have backed out of driving all the way here.” She adds she gives him a quick hug. When she pulls away from Benny she notices the woman still standing there. “Oh, hello.” Beth says as she turns to face the unknown female.

“Right.” Benny clears his throat. “Beth this is Josephine Howard. Jo this is Beth Harmon.” He introduces the two women to each other and inwardly curses himself for using Josephine’s nickname. Now Beth will no doubt grill him on his relationship with her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Josephine says as she holds out her hand towards Beth, who reaches out to shake it. “I’m a big fan.” She adds.

“Oh thank you.” Beth smiles again and then her eyes move to the small suitcase on the ground next to Josephine’s feet and the room key in her hand. “Are you here for the tournament?” She asks and Josephine nods. “As a player or a spectator?” Beth asks. The name Josephine Howard sounds so familiar but Beth can’t recall how she knows it.

Josephine can feel Benny’s eyes on her after Beth asks the question. He’s no doubt wondering the same thing. “I’m playing. It’s my first tournament back actually.” She says and Beth’s eyes widen when she suddenly remembers why Josephines name sounded so familiar.

“Of course.” The red head breaths out. “I knew your name sounded familiar.” She adds. “I can’t believe I didn’t immediately realise. I mean, you’re the only other female player I’ve ever heard of.” Beth shakes her head, not believing she didn’t recognise the name before. “I thought you didn’t play anymore?” Beth asks. “Man, if I had known Benny knew you I would have asked him to introduce us a long time ago.�� She goes on as she gets more enthusiastic now that she realises who she’s talking to.

Benny understands Beth’s enthusiasm. Josephine was one of the two best players in the US a few years ago, the other best player being Benny himself of course. Josephine is also the only good female player Beth has ever encountered at a tournament, so he really can’t fault her for being excited but he’s not sure how to act around Josephine after all this time and he really wants to head up to his room to get away from it all.

“I had to take some time off.” Josephine smiles at Beth, but Benny can see it’s forced and he frowns at her words. She never did tell him the exact reason she left. “I haven’t played against actual opponents in a while, so I don’t expect to perform like I used to.” She explains.

“With talent like yours it’ll only take a few games to get back into it.” The words leave Benny’s mouth before he can stop them and Josephine’s eyes lock onto his. He knows he should look away, he can’t fall for her again, but he can’t get himself to do so. He meant what he said. She’s incredibly talented and he’s certain the final match will be between the two women standing there with him.

“We’ll see.” Josephine says softly as she keeps eye contact with Benny for a moment longer before she looks down to her suitcase and picking it up. “Well, it was lovely to meet you.” She says as she smiles at Beth. “But I should get up to my room.” She gestures towards the elevator. “I’m sure we’ll see each other around.”

Benny nods and is about to say he should check in when Beth speaks up again. “Oh you should join us for dinner tonight.” She suggests and Benny only just manages to stop himself from glaring at her. “A bunch of us are meeting up.”

“That’s very kind of you, but I don’t want to intrude.” Josephine answers. She can tell by the look on Benny’s face that he doesn’t want her to join them and she can’t really blame him. She left him without a proper explanation, so he has every right to dislike her. “Besides, I should really study if I want to stand a chance this weekend.”

#the queen's gambit #the queens gambit imagine #the queen's gambit fanfiction #benny watts #benny watts imagine #benny watts fanfiction

[tar-oh]

Pick-A-Pile: What Your 2021 Will Be Like

This definitely took longer than I intended on it taking, and it also took some interesting turns. They don’t appear to cover the whole year, but this is what I got, so I’m assuming they’re things someone needs to hear. 3 of the piles ended up having some love message in them, so if that’s what you were looking for, yay! I do need to tell you that you need to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. These messages are not going to be for everyone so if you find that you don’t relate, than it’s probably not for you. I can only pick up on so many stories/situations. Also, I have to point out again that these do not cover the whole year. In fact, it really seems like only a few things showed up, like a few situations. So they’re kind of a few snapshots within the year. If you do find that you’re called to more than one pile, I can say that that’s okay because a few did seem to relate/have similar cards, so there’s a chance you’re someone who has more than one message within these. I also have to add that if you liked this reading, please feel free to tip. I know I do like the bare-minimum by posting a PAP like every other month, but these do take a lot of energy and time. So, if you feel the need to tip my cashapp is  $sarams. I also can do private readings if you’re interested, just DM me. For the piles, I’m going to have you pick between outfits Beth Harmon wore in The Queen’s Gambit, since it’s one of my latest obsession's:

Pile 1:

cards: ace of swords, 8 of cups, 6 of swords, true love, banshee, cat, endurance. Okay, I'm having a hard time with this pile. There are a lot of messages here, so I think a lot of you chose this one. This is going to seem a bit scattered, I think, so bear with me. First thoughts are that in terms of love, there may be a situation where you're waiting for some sort of clarity, perhaps maybe reciprocation? 6 of Pentacles isn't here, but I get that feeling from this. Especially because the first song that played was Take Me by Aly & Aj and it's basically about someone waiting for someone to ask them out. I wouldn't pull this conclusion necessarily, but I pulled True Love for you. The thing about that card is that it's more recognizing love for yourself rather than trying to force it on others, so, I see that this is you getting fed up with waiting, and so with 8 of cups and 6 of swords, you're putting it down and walking away from the situation to pay attention to yourself. I think Endurance plays into that too, like you endured waiting for so long but then you’re just DONE. You’re seeing that you deserve reciprocation and you deserve to have someone feel for you the way you feel for them. This is one situation. I was getting a lot of messages here, so I'm trying to sum it up into general terms. Also, for some, this might not even be you moving away from something? Maybe it's someone you know moving on from a situation and you get confirmation about this - like you're intuition is saying this, but you have no hardcore facts to base it on, and you finally get it. Maybe it's a situation that leaves you. Take what resonates - but also remember, this is a 2021 prediction, and that's 12 whole months for things to happen. I feel like this is more early year energy. But, I've also found tarot readings playing out MONTHS after they've been done, so!! Who knows. It will play out differently for everyone. "You write to yourself, because your mind has become a new dead language." - Nox, Jetty Bones. Ah, so maybe it's also a matter of you just being a bit confused, and instead of getting clarity, you're searching for it. Oddly, though, this deck doesn't depict movement in these two cards. Most decks depict people moving away from something. In some versions I've seen of 6 of Swords, the person is looking back. In this version, he's stationary, standing on one leg. Well, rather, he's balancing - which that too holds a message, like you just trying to balance different things at once (think a 2 of Pentacles vibe). But his leg and arm point in the direction he's not looking. So, it's like, maybe your mind is telling you "This way, this way," but your heart is still tied to a situation. For some, this might not even be about love - maybe a job or family or dream - anything really. But, that whole bit about your mind becoming a dead language, maybe you're confused with what you're feeling and your intuition. You got the cat card from the Literary Witches Oracle, and though it has other meanings, I still connect cats to intuition. I mean, cat's intuitions are fairly spot on, right? The literary witches oracle suggests these words: the untamed, self-ownership, watching. MY OWN CAT JUST BIT THE CAT CARD. There's a message in there somewhere, and I think its just that she is RUDE. But, also, I think she's confirming my thoughts about this card for you guys: I think its telling you not to follow rules too closely. Another thing is self-ownership. I think, looking back at the 8 of cups card where he's just sitting there, I think there's a need to sit with your emotions rather than ignoring them - owning them. This is a message I get a lot for my different pick a piles on this blog. Look, it really fucking sucks to acknowledge some feelings, especially when they don't feel so good. But I find it helps to stop and ask yourself why you're feeling a certain way. So, say you're feeling jealous of someone. Stop and ask why? What does this person have that you wish you had and why? How can you obtain this in a morally just way? And if this isn't possible, is there something else you could obtain that could help these feelings fade? In a way that serves you while not hurting others? Sitting with yourself for a few minutes and looking at the emotions really helps a lot in the long run. "When did your heart break and take you the wrong way?" - Nox by Jetty Bones. I don't see it as you going the wrong way, but perhaps perceiving that you went the wrong way. You also got the banshee card. I want to preface this by saying that I had started this pick a pile almost a month ago but things got in the way and never got a chance to finish, but pile 1 for that one had the banshee card, so I think that was always a message for you. Maybe it's a call to stay vigilant. If you're feeling that you went the wrong way, but you know its anxiety, I think it's a call to take a step back. Maybe even breathe, and listen to your intuition. That can't always be easy, I know, but I think deep down (especially with this ace of swords and the 8 of cups - Also I want to note that the High Priestess was bottom deck energy), you know the way. One thing I have to say is that the Banshee is here to warn you not to let your fears or anxiety trap you into taking a path you know is not yours. With the literary witches oracle deck, I felt called to pull you another, and one of my favorite ones from the deck came out: Anna Ahkmatova, Endurance. I haven't read a lot of Anna Ahkmatova, but have always respected her deeply. She went through a lot in her lifetime, so endurance is a the best word for her card. The deck suggests these keywords: staying with pain, avoiding pain, patience. I read this as all three of those: the first is that you're carrying a pain through the year, or at least into this new year. But, I think you're going to be patient with yourself.  The 8 of Cups is similar to that of the 6 of swords in this deck, too. He’s also stationary. So, maybe going with the endurance card, you're staying with this pain, and there's that whole idea of sitting with the emotions. (Lyrics in the song that came on, Always On by DBMK, "And I'm always always on." - Overthinking things perhaps? I do suggest looking up this song, because it does feel relevant. ) I don't think this lasts long though, like it doesn’t feel like a long-term thing, but it may be a bit reoccurring, maybe a few times within this year? So, overall, I see that this next year you're bringing something painful into the new year. But, I see you enduring it. I see you deciding to chose yourself because of this painful thing. I think you're going to see the value within choosing yourself. I'm kind of getting this idea that you know that whatever wants you and whatever is for you will find you, so you're not going to be too worried. I think you're more worried about finding the why of things? It may not be an INSTANT thing, like you don’t need to know now, but you want to know eventually. I think maybe you'll be looking for answers other places. Going back to the endurance card (this feels like the BIG one for your spread, like that paired with the tarot seems to really ring loud to me), there's a firebird, which is also a phoenix basically. She's also holding a potato on the card, so maybe nourishing your soul will be a huge ass vibe for you in 2021. I think the True Love Card indicates that, same with the spiritual aspect of 8 of cups. SO, I think OVERALL 2021 is going to be BIG for your soul. Like, I think you're going to come realizations about yourself and your life and the people around you. I think there's a lot of pain that is needed to be worked through, but to be honest, I feel that most of us are going into 2021 like that, so you're not alone. I just think this past year has been especially painful. I feel heavy with your pile. Really heavy. I didn't at first, like, I saw those cards about moving away from something, and perhaps you will and you'll feel lighter. But, I feel this feeling of stagnancy...? I don't get it in literal card meanings, but that man sitting in front of the cups and the man balancing WITHIN the swords? Also, the images Anna Ahkmatova's card invokes? So, again, I must repeat that warning I got with the Banshee: Don't let your fears trap you.     I think Endurance and Cat really tell you that you can get through whatever it is. The song Let It Happen by Jimmy Eat World came on and there's a line where he sings "I can laugh it off" (which I think you can), but more than that, just the title makes me think that you're going to have to surrender whatever this is, let it happen. I mean, I think there's an act of walking away on your part, but I don't see it as forever? Like, maybe this will come back around. I said earlier that whatever wants you or is for you will find you, so I think if you walk away it will come back? Like, okay to clarify this, maybe it is a love situation. I'm not saying THIS person will come back/seek you out. That is possible, but I think its more about love finding its way to you. I know its total bullshit to say you gotta love yourself first in order to find love, like FUCK THAT SHIT. BUT, I think this pile is in need of self-love. Like, I think you need to stop and look at all that you've achieved so far, no matter how small. Also, if you're into crystals, might I suggest a classic: Rose Quartz? Very beautiful and said to help with self love! Also, Rhodochrosite. Both of them are beautiful pinks! Songs that seem relevant: Take Me - Aly & Aj (Okay, but can we talk about how this music video is awesome because it has the vibe of a 70′s b-movie with vampires and witches and stuff???) Nox - Jetty Bones Always On - DBMK Let It Happen - Jimmy Eat World Last Hope - Paramore Chase This Light - Jimmy Eat World Pile 2:

cards: 4 of swords, two of pentacles, 4 of wands, relationship, true offering, Sandra Cisneros (the body), boar, all hallows eve First off, Halloween may be significant, whether it's 2020's or 2021. Maybe it’s your favorite holiday? A birthday? Something happened? I’m not sure, but because I pulled All Hallow’s Eve for you, I just feel that there is something within that. Secondly, I think you're mostly being asked to honor your body, as in, take care of yourself. That's one HUGE message coming out. I see that in 2021 you're going to be needing to find a balance between things. This isn't to say you won't be able to, especially because I always ready the two of pentacles as being able to balance the things out, but I see that it will be a challenge. I see rest being highlighted within the body and four of swords as well. I always get that card when I need to like take a nap or go to bed, so I definitely read this in this context. Are you wearing yourself thin? Is there way to do things without tiring yourself out?? Okay, I'm also seeing something for some of you involving sex? I'm also gonna put a trigger warning for this next paragraph about sex. If you don't wish to read that, please just skip down to the next one.  I’m only putting this in because when I was reading the cards I felt triggered, and this isn’t something I normally would feel towards this, so I was feeling that this was not me at all, and that I was channeling someone else? It was really weird and something like this has only happened a few times before so it’s always a little strange when it happens. Anyway, I’ll mark the paragraph and you’re welcome to skip it. TW: Sex The body speaks about the pains and pleasures of the body and boar can talk about aggression. I think for some, this is a warning about someone who may be aggressive about sex with you? Like, maybe wanting too much or asking you to do things you don't want to do/don't feel comfortable doing. You're being asked to honor what you feel is right for your body. Bottom deck energy for the Seasons of the Witch oracle is the Owl card, so I get that you will know what's right for you in the moment. Also, please just honor yourself and try not to put up with that bullshit. I know sometimes things happen that are hard to stop - so if it’s possible to stop it or avoid it, do so. If something does happen and you end up feeling regretful, please do not put yourself down either. We all make mistakes, and also really awful shit happens to people who don’t deserve those things, too. I believe this is really only for a small portion of you. I also think there may be someone out there who is fearful that this will happen if they're vulnerable this way with someone. I think this is a message that again, follow your intuition. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with and make sure you have strong boundaries. Though, another thought I just had is that this could also be about body image? Perhaps this connection will help you with that if you have issues with that. Maybe they’re going to teach you to love how you look? Like, a boost of self-confidence? So, maybe there is this element of fear of being intimate with someone, solely because you’re afraid you can’t provide what this other person needs because you’re not happy with how you look and feel about your own body, or even experience-wise. If that’s the case, I do think this is a connection that’s been brought in to help you with this. I also think that I probably should say that your fears are valid, like, I’m not saying you’re RIGHT (about your body that is), but you have a right to be afraid. I think you’re meant to work through this, but you can do this at your own pace. I don’t get bad vibes from this connection at all, and I’ll get more on this connection in a sec, but I think you need to know that I feel like you’re safe with this person. And I think you’ll feel safe, and that’s what you really need. It seems like an even pace, whatever this is. I want to add that I forgot to turn my music on, but a song is playing in my head called Analog Boy by DBMK, so maybe check it out. I think there's something in the lyrics for someone. Now onto the big message for everyone: First off I think there's going to be a relationship, either a new one or a new level within one. This can be platonic or romantic, but I’m sensing mostly romantic for most of you. I think there's going to be a lot of chemistry, but I think you two will balance each other out. Also, I see that in general, with this new relationship (or level within it), you'll have to start a balance act, like work and play kind of thing, but I think you'll be fine. I see a lot of balance within this. I think maybe for some this is going to change your life drastically enough that you’re going to find that you’re going to have to move things around to fit time in for everything, like again, that balancing work and play. Like, maybe both of your work schedules are really hectic? So, it’s like, trying to find time together and time with others and time to work and time to rest alone. But, there’s nothing within this that’s making me think you won’t be able to do so. Maybe this is something that you had trouble with last year, and so maybe this year you’re finally going to be able to work things out? The song Guilty Party by the National is playing, and there’s a line about it not being anyone’s fault. So, maybe even though this will bring balance eventually, maybe it’s going to take a bit to work things out? There’s probably another message within that song, I think. There's also a need to let go of control. I think maybe you envision an outcome for this situation (and I think you KNOW its coming, you probably feel it - maybe you’re anxious and you’re not sure why??), but I think it's more of an In The Moment Thing. A, do what you feel is right at the time. But also, not to overthink it. Allow what happens to happen. Note that this is for those who the TW is not for. The TW is a whole other matter outside of this, I think. Also thinking that is past energy, so I think (I got the song Press Restart by WALK THE MOON stuck in my head just then, so I think for sure this is past energy). In terms of the relationship that seems very healthy to me, I think you feel it on its way. So, I think there's a need to allow the universe to plot out the course for you. To guide you along. I don’t think you’re being guided into something you’re going to regret or something that will hurt. It’s going to be good. Like I think i feel a sigh of relief. I also think there’s a small amount of you who might feel like you’re not deserving of this? Like, maybe you’re like “Oh, that couldn’t be for me” even if you feel it in your soul heading towards you? Well, here I am to tell you KNOCK THAT OFF! It is for you and you do deserve it. Please be kinder to yourself this year. So, basically, long story short: You know something is coming in 2021. I think a lot of you are scared about it because I think maybe you think you're not ready, but I think you are. Oh my gosh, the song Sowing Season (yeah) by Brand New came on and YEAH you are going to sow this stuff!! All Hallow’s Eve could play into this too! Like, that whole, harvest part that comes between Halloween and winter, gathering of things - but these things are the accomplishments you’ve had as well as the good things heading towards you. I see that you, yourself, are already really grounded. And maybe you will have to figure out how to fit it into your life, but I think you'll do just fine. Also, because you got Sandra Cisneros, I do suggest reading The House On Mango Street. I read it a long time ago, but I swear its a life-changer. My ear is ringing, so I think you're being guided to anyway, so SARA SAYS SO. The bottom deck energy for the tarot deck was the Sun, so I think, all trigger warnings aside, this is going to be really good. For those that the TW applies to, I think this is a separate thing entirely from that, so I think for you guys specifically this will be really good, but for everyone, it will be good. Songs that seem relevant: analog boy - DBMK Press Restart - WALK THE MOON Mean Dreams - DBMK Guilty Party - The National Second Death in the Rabbit Hole - Jetty Bones Sowing Season (Yeah) - Brand New Pile 3:

Cards: 3 of cups, Prince of Cups, Nine of Swords, Enjoyment, Witch, Yumiko Kurahashi (transformation), Toni Morrison (power) Visitor. That's a word that came to my mind. I'm not sure what this means to you, like if you're going to be a visitor, if you'll get one, who knows! But that's a word for you guys! Maybe visiting old situations. Maybe visiting new places! Maybe visiting new habits and hobbies? I don't know, but that was something I had to tell you. So, starting with the tarot: Three of cups kind of aids this idea of a visitor, because it can mean hanging out with friends, maybe celebrating. Just partying it up, but even in a simple way, like chilling or online. I don't know, I don't think COVID is going to be gone in a few months for my area, so I guess it depends on where you are and what time of the year this applies to. Both Three of Cups and Prince of Cups tell me that there are emotions involved, and I think maybe for some this is you getting to know someone you have feelings for (also this could be revisiting someone from your past, like later I say that you know you can’t go back into the past, but I don’t think that means you can’t bring something with you into the future if that makes sense?). I think this person is in your community, which could be anything within your life, like school or work. Enjoyment applies to this, telling you to enjoy these moments. This card does talk about hard work, so I definitely think this isn't a one-way thing, like you can't just not put effort into this. It's going to need to effort on your part, so if you find that you have a hard time opening up to people, don't feel bad. IT's hard, I GET IT. But, I think this is telling you to work on it, or at least be aware of this. This year will be a year of transformation for you. You got the Transformation card, or Yumiko Kurahashi. Oh, interesting, the song Turn Back by Mat Kerekes came on, and my favorite line from this song is the bridge where he sings “I know I can’t turn back, somewhere I lost my heart. I know I can’t turn back ‘cause I don’t know where I’d start”, so, like going with this idea of transformation: maybe you know you’re moving on from who you were/what life was like before, and this is you knowing that there’s not really anything in the past for you anymore? One of the keywords for this card is becoming, so, possibly it's you learning how to become yourself. But, then the 9 of swords jumps in here, and I think this paired with Transformation I think maybe there are some problems with depression. This version of 9 of Swords is more frantic than other versions. He's preparing to be struck by swords - moreover, he HAS been stabbed by two swords, which, OW? But, also, I get just that sense of frantic freaking out with this (which definitely can accompany knowing you can’t go back to who you were before, or what was before). There's also that snake around the one sword, lunging forward. I think that's your fear overtaking you. Also, fear of false intentions. Maybe even fear that you're not strong enough? Insecurities. For some, I think this whole thing of getting to know someone you have feelings for is a new thing, like maybe past experiences weren't great (another thing that goes along with that line from Turn Back) or maybe this is the first time you've actually been in a situation like this, so maybe you're calculating all the outcomes and focusing on all the bad ones. But, I think you're being guided to take this in a place of power, as in, power over your thoughts. The Toni Morrison Power card's keywords are: owning power, seizing power, the powers at play. So, not only do I think whatever this is, it's meant to happen, but I think you're also being guided to work through your fears. You have bottom deck energies of The Star and Vision (Virginia Woolf), which I definitely think tells you that you should have hope that things will work out in your favor. Outside of the 9 of swords (which, being a swords card is purely mental), you have nothing to fear. I have a feeling this is going to be a guiding light in terms of situations for you. Like, I think from this you're going to learn a lot, I think. The card Witch tells you that you're wiser than you're thinking you are, and I see the 9 of swords playing with this in a way that shows that you're worried that not only are these persons intentions not good, but also that you're going to sabotage it all. But, I think you're being asked to enjoy the process (with enjoyment and 3 of cups), and revel in these feelings (this Prince of Cups - the KNIGHT of cups, really- is SUPER intense. His eyes are very hypnotizing - maybe this person has a stare like this, or maybe you associate purple with them or something - a scorpio maybe??? I mean, there's the scorpion on his arm.) For others that this isn't a love situation, I see this as being something that can bring you great joy, but like the others, you're questioning the outcomes and giving yourself anxiety. Again, enjoy the process and know that you know how to go about this. Songs that seemed relevant: Visitor - Of Monsters and Men New Years Eve - Brook Fraser Planet - DBMK Turn Back - Mat Kerekes Love - DBMK Pile 4:

cards: 8 of cups, 4 of wands, justice, work, spider, Octavia E. Butler (The Future), Janet Frame (Belonging) This year, I think pile 4 is going to be finding themselves. The main thing I see this from is the card Belonging, Janet Frame. This card talks about figuring who you are out, and the keywords are: being at home, being a stranger, and knowing yourself. I get a lot of balance from these cards, too, so I think its like you trying to balance yourself out. Maybe mastering your emotions. The Justice card in this deck is interesting because it has the normal scales on it, but behind it is the yin and yang symbol and over both of her shoulders are the moon and the sun, so its like balancing who you are out, like who you are inside and out. But I always kind of see the tower within this card (you also got the tower as bottom deck energy). She has lights coming out of her eyes, and has windows that are lit up over her head in the shape of a crown. So, it's like her head is being opened up, and by me seeing the tower, I think it's her finding clarity within. So, maybe this tower is that clarity? This is why I think you're balancing yourself out, like I think you're figuring out things about yourself. Like, what direction you want to go (with how she's pointing on this version of 4 of wands, I see that definitely). I see so much thinking in these cards and there was a lyric that stuck out to me in a song that came on by DBMK called Thin,  "Oh my god, am I so stuck in my ways?" So I see some of you seeing your bad habits and realizing that they're not there to stay, that you can kind of kick them out, show them the door. In four of wands, she's in the middle of a spiral and whenever I see spirals I always think of correlations. I don't remember why this specific image sticks out to me, but I do remember being in school and learning about correlations within nature and the picture in the textbook was of a shell in a spiral shape like that. And, so I kind of think maybe its like I said before, seeing correlations in situations and realizing what your bad habits are (and even the good ones too) and finding a way to get past them or even a way to transmute them into something better. I see him thinking these things through in the 8 of cups, too. Like, the 8 of cups can talk about walking away from something, like leaving it behind and going on sort of an inward journey. But in this one he’s sitting down, not moving away. I always see it as a card of solitude, like the Hermit. I don't see you being in solitude. Possibly for a little bit to think things through, but I see it more as this is your journey and its about You and figuring out who You are. There is also a boat in the background of the 8 of cups, but its more the skeleton of a boat. A shipwreck. So, I get this impression that even if he wanted to walk away, he's stuck there, so he's forced to see that things are the way they are and it's up to him to work on them. Almost like...You're forced into a period of stagnation? This is interesting, and I think I need to tell you that if you felt called to another one of the piles, piles 1 and 2 both had at least 1 of these cards in them, and there felt like a lot of balance in those too. And if this isn’t a period of stagnation, its at least a period of rest.  But, like with this stagnation, I also see a lot of work being done. Not necessarily movement, but work. You literally got the card Work from the Wild Offering oracle, which talks about not just grinding away, but giving. Kind of like the 6 of pentacles, I think, but not quite. Like, working to be beneficial to not just yourself, but others. But it's not just something selfless, its also a certain amount of selfishness - a healthy amount and this is for your own future, which, you also got the card The Future (Octavia E. Butler). That card talks about both planning and worrying about the future. So, I think you're working your way towards what you want for yourself in the future, but there's also a lot of thought about that and what you don't want and what could go wrong. Spider kind of touches that too. It talks about manifesting, but not controlling the outcome. I see worrying about the future as kind of controlling it too. I think with the justice card, its letting you know that it will balance out, so there's no need to worry. It will work out for you. I do wonder if for some of you this has a lot to do with you breaking free from expectations of others. Like, you lived a life that you thought was yours but then one day someone said something and you were looking at them and thought "Do you even know me?" Like, you thought they did, but you realized this picture they have of you is not true, its just their own perception. And so, after this, you're wanting to live life authentically. Like, live it the way YOU are and how you want. Oh, the song Santiago Peak by Movements came on, and the first verse goes like this: "I passed the house where I spent most of my life. And all the places that seem like they're from a different time, out of touch with the world that I once felt stuck inside. Never mind. Remember living through the passenger side..." So, it's like you feel like you're forever riding in the passenger seat of your own life, but you're seeing that this isn't who you are and it's not who you want to be. So there are small steps you're taking to create a new future where you're in the driver seat. The song does talk about going back to their old home, but I don't think that really applies. Like I think you hold this old you and this old life in the passenger seat close to your heart because it made you who you are today. It pushed you to where you wanted to grow, but you don't want to go back. There is another line that goes "And when I feel a little too far, I'll come back and restart," And I do think that maybe you'll think back from time to time about where you were, but it will only fuel the need to move forward? So it won’t really be a restart, but it will be enough to get you moving again if you’ve lost faith for a little bit. But, I don’t see that in these cards. I mostly see you working forward. These cards don’t have a lot of movement in them, so its not quick, rapid change, but its like slow and steady. Balanced and even. So for 2021, I see you working on the inside, but also making movement forward slowly. It doesn’t seem like an especially important year, at least not that the cards say so (it could be, this just seems like a small snapshot into it), but it does seem like it’s an important stepping stone.  Songs that seem relevant: Thin - DBMK Switchblade - DBMK Not a Second to Waste - A Rocket to the Moon (this song is so old lol and probably dates back to when I saw that picture in that textbook I mentioned so!! CIRCLING BACK!!) Santiago Peak - Movements

#tarot #pick a pile #pick a card

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: THE QUEEN’S GAMBIT

Yes it’s true - the only things I’ve been watching lately are prestige TV shows starring women with bad red wigs. I’ll get back to movies someday!! In the meantime, I finally watched all of this miniseries that has Netflix and the world aflame with love - and I am aflame too....WITH HATRED OF ALL OF THESE WIGS!!! I have so much to discuss with this show, y’all. A friend of mine (who hasn’t watched this show yet) probably said it best when he told me he thought the wigs in this show were supposed to be wigs WITHIN the narrative of the show (and therefore allowed to be bad): “wait I thought this was about a chess spy - that’s supposed to be her real hair? NO” INDEED!!! Let’s take it episode by episode (SPOILERS ABOUND) and DISCUSS.

Episode 1 - Openings

We begin in Paris, 1967. Beth Harmon, chess champion (?) awakens in a bath of ice (?) in the dark of her hotel room, clearly hung over or maybe still drunk. Her red ‘60s flip wig looks like HELL as does she, so...ok I guess this bad wig wurqs...for now. She sits herself down to play CHESS!! This whole show is about chess, obviously, and everyone is just mad about chess now! I am mad, too, because the show does not make chess seem interesting or sexy and I still hate it. 

Anyway, we rewind about 10 (?) years to a young Beth Harmon, who is suddenly orphaned after her mom definitely commits suicide via car accident. Her mom has super short bangs and cries a lot. We see some even further flashbacks to an even younger Beth IN THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS BABY WIG (MORE ON THAT LATER). We learn that her mom is very unhinged, but also probably brilliant, as Beth herself will become later. LET’S HOPE SHE NEVER GETS HER DRIVER’S LICENCE (note: she never does?)

Apparently the mid to late ‘50s were all about very VERY short bangs, and on this non-wigged little girl I guess that is fine.

BUT THEN! She is brought to an orphanage where they burn her old clothes (YES REALLY!) and cut her hair into a bob (the kid’s actual hair so again - ok!) and also give her and all the other girls constant drugs! The 1950s were really wild, amiright? If I have learned anything from movies set at orphanages in the 50s, drug abuse was the main issue (the only movie I’m referring to is obviously The Cider House Rules and the only thing I remember about that movie is that Michael Caine had an ether addiction). Anyway, the sedative drugs make her immediately put her hand on a hot radiator (safety first, orphanage!) 

She also makes friends with an older girl named Jolene (I LOVE THE NAME) who teachers her to save the sedative drugs for nighttime when they can help her sleep. Great advice, Jolene! Also: there is absolutely no way that African American Jolene would be in an integrated orphanage in mid-50s KENTUCKY but this is just the beginning of issues I have with this series......

Moving on! In avoiding the orphanage’s weird insistence on Jesusy choir practice, she discovers the basement realm of janitor Bill Camp, who never actually does any janitorial work (that I could see?) but definitely plays a lot of chess. And thus, her chess obsession begins! This is also helped by those sedatives she takes every night which give her really absurd chess hallucinations on the ceiling. This orphanage has it all!

Essentially, this miniseries is Valley of the Dolls if those characters got addicted to both pills and chess at the age of 9. Beth gets very VERY good at chess and some rando chess guy from the local high school comes and gives Beth a doll (BETH HATES THE DOLL BUT LOVES DOLLS DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE). And she goes to the high school and plays a bunch of terrible high school boys at chess simultaneously and beats them all. Also: the orphanage suddenly gets in trouble for giving sedatives to small children for years and Beth is PISSED. She goes through withdrawal and years for the big ol’ jar o’ pills!!!

AND THEN! During a kind of Jesusy film presentation, Beth sneaks away to the orphanage pharmacy and just goes hog wild on the pills! TRULY: Valley of the Dolls has nothing on this sequence. 

Obviously, Beth is caught pill-handed and she also spills all the pills, breaks a giant glass jar, and then falls onto both of them. SHE IS 9. I THINK I LOVE THIS SHOW.

Episode 2: Exchanges

So after Beth’s completely insane pill odyssey, she is punished by being forbidden to play chess! Fast forward an indeterminate number of years, and we meet a slightly older Beth (now played by the bewigged Anya Taylor-Joy). AND THIS WIG, Y’ALL. WOOF. Completely dried out and bent, it really makes you appreciate the fact that they just cut the younger Beth’s hair. I realize that Anya is going to go through many 50s and 60s hairstyles to come but I really wish they had just done the same and used her real hair because we are about to take a bad wig odyssey that will last throughout this series. Also! I love that Jolene is played by the same actress! How old is too old to be in an orphanage?

Speaking of age! Beth is apparently now 15 but when a super weird couple expresses interest in adopting her, the orphanage director lady lies and says Beth is 13 and everyone just goes with it....FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES. Seriously, this age difference is never ever visited again or challenged. Beth is basically 15-17 for at least 5 years and no one gives a shit. OK? Anyway, Beth is adopted by Marielle friggin Heller (aka director of Can You Ever Forgive Me? and A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood) who has a very Mamie Eisenhower wig which is just fine compared to the bent and dry-ass mess on Anya’s head.

It is later revealed that Marielle adopted Beth because her husband is mainly away on business and she needs an older gal pal around to fetch her....sedatives from the magazine store! I wonder if Beth will totally get addicted to them again! I’m no chess player but you can absolutely predict plot devices in this series about two pawns away (is that a chess term? I still don’t know or care!) 

So yes: as predicted Beth absolutely gets addicted to sedatives again (also the specific sedatives she gets addicted to are the exact same ones she was addicted to at the orphanage - WHAT A COINCIDENCE! - and also they are made up sedatives for the purposes of this show only in case we all want to get the same magical chess sedatives and see chess on the ceiling too). ALSO! Beth is still mainly addicted to chess despite the fact that she was permitted from playing it for the last 5-7 years (depending on what version of her age you’re going on?) but still is good at it? Most upsetting: she rips apart her lovely bed canopy in order to see her ceiling chess hallucinations! THE NERVE OF THIS KID!

Also nervy: bitch totally stole chess magazines from the pharmacy when she was also stealing sedatives from her adoptive mom! Kleptomania is Beth’s #3 addiction after chess and pills also comes into play when it is revealed that her new adoptive mom is kinda poor since her husband is away all the time and doesn’t give her enough money so Beth can’t enter those chess tournaments she read about in the magazines she stole. SO she writes to janitor Bill Camp and asks for $5 to enter the chess thing and if she wins she’ll send him $10. THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT WHICH WILL COME INTO PLAY LATER. So Beth goes to the chess tournament where she meets some not handsome twin dudes and a very handsome other dude named Townes.

Basically all the chess dudes at this tourney suck in the same way? To be fair: if I saw Beth walking up in her ugly orphanage clothes and orphanage cut wig, I would think she sucked at chess too? Oh also - all the girls at her new high school also think her style sucks. I WONDER IF IN COMING EPISODES SHE WILL GAIN MORE STYLE AND CHESS FAME THAN ALL THESE GARBAGE PEOPLE. Spoiler: she does and also beats this dude named Harry and becomes the Kentucky chess champion. Also! Beth’s adoptive dad totally abandons her and Marielle Heller!  I still hate chess but will continue to watch this show because of its haunting wigs and lowgrade feminist vibe.

Episode 3: Doubled Pawns

This episode begins with a flashback to Beth’s shitty birth mother and her shitty banged wig and remember that time I said I was going to talk about the wig on the littlest girl who plays her? WELL HERE WE ARE. Baby Beth has the absolute WORST WIG ON THIS SHOW and given how terrible all the wigs are, that is saying a lot. This wig looks like it was ripped off an American Girl doll which had been mistreated for years and thrown of a jungle gym or something. IT IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST (as is her mom, who makes this poor kid believe she had drowned!!!) 

ANYWAY. We get a new wig in this episode!!! Beth manages to grow out her orphanage bangs and allow her hair to have a 50s wave bob. Do not be fooled by the higher quality of this cut, however - the quality of the WIG continues to very much suck! WHAT IS THIS HAIR PART! No hair underneath! And everything is still a dried out, bent mess! ALSO HER ROOTS ARE A NIGHTMARE. This is also the episode wherein Marielle Heller basically becomes Mama Rose to Beth and really gets into Beth supporting both of them via chess winnings and becomes her chess manager (ACTUAL JOB TITLE). Also Beth gets nicer clothing. Hilariously, Marielle tells Beth’s high school that Beth is just constantly sick so she can skip school to go to chess tournaments even though Beth is straight up on the cover of Life magazine?! I wonder if this will at all come to the attention of the high school - IT DOESN’T! PLOT HOLES BE DAMNED THIS SHOW IS ABOUT CHESS! She does go to high school long enough for the snobby girls who once made fun of her to invite her to the dumbest party ever where they just sit around and ask Beth dumb questions about Chess fame and then all have a sing-along to a song Beth doesn’t know because she has no idea what pop culture is: ONLY CHESS CULTURE. I watched this show with my mom and asked if ‘60s parties were like this and she laughed her head off and said NO. ALSO! Beth’s kleptomania comes into play at this party where she steals a bottle of gin and leaves without saying goodbye to anyone. WHAT A BITCH.

Speaking of bitches, Beth meets a new chess diva in the form of Love Actually’s resident child drum prodigy! He has a character name but whatever: Love Actually is his name and he has longish shaggy (non wigged) hair and dresses like Crocodile Dundee and is loved and feared in the chess community for being such a non-nerd (?) chess player. I asked my mom if anyone dressed like this in the ‘60s and she said “NO! But I guess I didn’t know everyone” WHICH IS A GREAT ANSWER BECAUSE MY MOM DIDN’T RUN IN WEIRD CHESS CIRCLES IN THE ‘60s. We are lead to believe the ‘60s chess community of weirdos consists of the same 5 rotating dudes who are all at the same chess tournaments always and also possible love interests for Beth and she’s better at chess than all of them.

The only weirdo chess dude that Beth cares about is Townes, who you may recall from the last episode in which he was the only attractive chess dude at that first chess tournament Beth went to with borrowed Bill Camp money. Anyway, she runs into him at some chess tournament (LIKE I REMEMBER WHICH ONE PLEASE) in Las Vegas where he is now a chess reporter (ACTUAL 1960s JOB, Y’ALL). He invites Beth back to his hotel boudoir where he takes some non-boudoir pictures of her playing chess and Beth is all aflutter with chess love but SUCK IT BETH, TOWNES IS GAY!!! I have to say that the only believable part of this show is that the only attractive chess dude would be homosexual. It still does not forgive any of the other plot nonsense.

SO! It’s still the big Vegas chess tournament which is super duper important-chess wise (though this show also makes it seem like every chess game IS THE MOST IMPORTANT so who is to say?) Anyway, Beth and her 50s wave wig (even though it is the 60s?) play Love Actually and....they both win? I didn’t know this was a chess pastability but ok? Beth is pissed that she didn’t beat Love Actually, I hope I never have to see him again (SPOILER HE’S IN MANY MORE EPISODES AND HAD I KNOWN THAT MAYBE I WOULD HAVE STOPPED WATCHING NOW BUT I DIDN’T!) 

Episode 4: Middle Game

We are still stuck with this weird ‘50s bob in this episode. IT STILL LOOKS BAD. New developments are: Beth is taking night classes at the local college (even though she is technically still in high school?) in order to learn Russian to better understand people who are more obsessed with chess than she is: Russians. Anyway, he ends up going to the most wild and stereotypical hippie party with a college dude after class and yep - loses her virginity to him. Ok? At least it wasn’t to a chess weirdo? She also stays behind and parties and drinks alone in the hippie apartment because of all her substance addiction and kleptomania. Also! She graduates from high school despite being 2 years too old for high school (a plot point never explained) and missing all that high school for chess tourneys (another plot point never explained!) OH WELL: CHESS! 

Beth and Marielle go to Mexico City for some chess tournament (AGAIN I COULDN’T TELL YOU WHICH ONE). Marielle is excited because she is pen pals (OMG THE 60s Y’ALL) with some Mexican weirdo who I definitely feared would steal all the chess winnings but then ultimately just sucks in the same way the adoptive dad did. Beth also runs into those chess twin weirdos because the chess community is comprised of only 5 dudes as I said. Their hair looks bad but not as bad as her wig. 

Beth doesn’t see much of Mexico City - nor do we unless you count a truly outrageous sequence in which Beth and Marielle go out on their hotel balcony and look into a green screen rendering of Mexico City that would have felt at home in CGI ghostmare, Bohemian Rhapsody. Anyway, Beth and her olde timey 1950s wig which is spending way too much time in the 60s even though she’s supposed to be stylish now, take a lot of chess baths while Marielle drinks a lot because that Mexican pen pal/boyfriend sucks so bad.

So Beth wins enough chess to play Borgov, who we are led to believe is the Russian white whale/Bond villain of the chess community and LOSES! She is pretty pissed about it but not as pissed as...

....coming back to the hotel room to discover Marielle Heller and her luscious Mamie Eisenhower wig DEAD. TWICE AN ORPHAN, Y’ALL. Mexican coroners tell Beth that her mom died of hepatitis (!!!) and Beth somehow implicates low quality tequila in this hepatitis death. I LEGITIMATELY GOOGLED ‘DOES TEQUILA GIVE YOU HEPATITIS’ IMMEDIATELY. I DON’T THINK IT DOES?!?!?! THIS SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS AND YES I WILL CONTINUE WATCHING IT DESPITE THE TERRIBLE WIGS AND MY HATRED OF CHESS.

Episode 5: Fork

Beth returns to Kentucky IN THE RAIN BECAUSE TV AND MOVIE DEATHS ARE ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED BY RAIN. She is about to be super lonely in the house she know owns (according to a super sketchy international phone call with her adoptive father which will definitely not hold up in court) and then...she gets a call from Harry! WHO THE EFF IS HARRY! Again, luckily, there are only 5 chess guys who need to remember and he is one of them (he is the one she beat for the Kentucky chess whatever in episode 2). She invites him over because she’s lonely!

Harry is definitely the saddest of the weirdo chess dudes because apparently he’s been harboring a secret love of Beth (who at the time of their first meeting was like 13-15 depending on what timeline you’re going on and he was...20? OK GROSS BUT OK). BITCH EVEN GOT HIS WEIRD TEETH FIXED SO HE COULD BE LOVED BY BETH AND HER BENT ASS WIG AND SERIOUSLY NO THANK YOU HARRY. Regardless, Beth lets Harry have sex with her a few times and live rent-free in her house and ultimately Harry gets enough self confidence to leave this effed up living situation since he will never be one of Beth’s obsessions (which are still: chess, pills/alcohol, stealing shit). 

So Beth goes to Ohio for some other chess tournament and reunites with UGH Love Actually. At this point in the show, Beth starts wearing long scarves as headbands and her wig has never looked better because most of it is covered by the scarf. THANK GOD. So Love Actually totally chess hustles Beth for a lot of coin playing speed chess (DEAR GOD WHY HAVE I BEEN FORCED TO LEARN WHAT SPEED CHESS IS) but in the end, she still beats him for the chess title. EFF YOU, Love Actually! May I never see you again! OH SHIT HE JUST INVITED HER TO  NEW YORK TO TRAIN HER FOR THE PARIS CHESS THING DEAR GOD WHY IS THERE SO MUCH LOVE ACTUALLY IN THIS SHOW OK FINE I’LL STILL WATCH IT.

Episode 6 - Adjournment

Ok so Beth and her ok wig that is mainly covered by a scarf go to Love Actually’s apartment in NYC which IS AN UNDERGROUND BUNKER AND SHE HAS TO SLEEP ON A BLOW UP MATTRESS. Again and for the millionth time: Love Actually is the worst! Especially the worst because he introduces her to all these rando bohemians he knows, including some French bitch who will definitely eff everything up when Beth is already teetering on her pill/alcohol obsession and should probably not meet any other enablers. Somehow, he does get her to quit the pills/alcohol long enough to have sex with him (UGH).

And so we are in Paris, 1967. Where we started the show with Beth’s awful 60s flip! AND WE MEET ANOTHER PLOTHOLE. Only a week before this, Beth was in NYC with hair about 3″ shorter and still wearing scarves in her hair. WHAT IN THE VERY HELL, SHOW! I realize that this show has a very vague sense of time or how old Beth is or whatever but truly: NOPE. 

Anyway, it’s the night before the big match against Borgov and Beth is on her very best behavior when who should ring her up but that French bitch Love Actually introduced her to! She is downstairs at the hotel bar and just come down and have one drink and don’t ruin your entire chess career, mmmkay? THIS ENABLING BITCH!!!! NEVER TRUST ANYONE WITH THIS CRYING GAME WIG UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE A CRYING GAME. Of course, Beth goes downstairs, drinks every drink in the bar, has sex with some rando French dude and...wakes up in the icebath we see at the beginning of the show and sweatily plays Borgov in her wig that has never looked frizzier, loses, and is shamed from the entire chess community. Also Love Actually wants Beth to come back to NYC but NO THANK YOU TO YOU AND YOUR BUNKER OF ENABLERS.

Back in Kentucky, Beth....is shown learning how to flip her hair. WAIT WHAT SHE ALREADY HAD A FLIP HAIRSTYLE THE ENTIRE TIME IN PARIS WHAT KIND OF WIG GASLIGHTING ARE YOU PLAYING, SHOW?!?!?!??!?!?!!

UGH anyway, with THE EXACT SAME FLIP WIG AS WE’VE SEEN HER IN, Beth tries to be a responsible young person of indeterminate age who owns a house in Kentucky and not drink or take pills or steal shit. EXCEPT remember that time her adoptive dad said she could just have the house if she paid the mortgage? WELL BITCH SHOWS UP AND J’ACCUSES HER OF STEALING THE HOUSE FROM HIM. Which is hilarious because of all the things she stolen in this show, the house wasn’t one of them. In any case, she buys the house! And takes herself out to dinner! And has a drink! AND UH OH.

At this point the show just goes completely off the rails in addictive nonsense. Beth just goes around the house in her terrible flip wig applying makeup and barfing in to chess trophies. It’s every stereotypical drug/alcohol scene from every biopic ever except this chick doesn’t really exist and this show is wearing on my nerves and Beth has to stop making so many terrible live decisions and this wig has BETTER GET BETTER.

And then magically - Jolene shows up in the most fabulous afro wig!! WHAT! OK I WILL WATCH THE BITTER CONCLUSION OF THIS SERIES BECAUSE I LOVE JOLENE.

Episode 7: End Game

Jolene...Jolene....Jolene. Jolene. I love Jolene. I don’t love that this show uses her by making her be the “magical negro” trope who helps Beth get her life back together. Predictable nonsense! So yes, Jolene looks around Beth’s ramshackle drug den and tells her to get her life back together. AND THEN BETH DOES. No AA or rehab required! WHAT! I really appreciate that Jolene also compares her to Susan Hayward (star of Valley of the Dolls!) which is the sick burn/comparison I needed. 

The other reason Jolene showed up was to bring Beth to janitor Bill Camp’s funeral. At the funeral, which is very poorly attended, Beth reveals THAT SHE NEVER PAID BILL CAMP THAT $5 HE LENT HER (AND $10 SHE PROMISED HIM) AT THE BEGINNING OF HER CHESS CAREER. WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT. It is at this point that I fully decided that I wanted Beth to fail at everything because she is a garbage person who never gave propers to Bill Camp for changing her life for the better. THIS BITCH!! She even goes back to the orphanage where she discovers Bill Camp’s CHESS SHRINE DEVOTED TO HER! SHE FEELS LIKE SHIT AS WELL SHE SHOULD! I FULLY HATE HER!!!!

Jolene is much more forgiving of Beth than me and also introduces Beth to a new obsession: squash! Ok? It does allow Beth to wear a headband which is great wig-wise (in that it hides all the seamwork). Beth also turns down these Jesusy people who want to fund her chess trip to Russia and so Jolene GIVES HER $3,000 TO GO TO RUSSIA. IF THERE IS ANYTHING I’VE LEARNED IN THE LAST 5 MINUTES OF THIS SHOW IT IS THAT BETH WILL NOT PAY THAT MONEY BACK AND JOLENE PLEASE DO NOT!!!!

Jolene does. Beth goes to Russia which is straight out of every Bond movie and gets her shit together and wins a lot of damn chess. 

Though her midweight coat game rivals that of Nicole Kidman in The Undoing, her wig game ALSO RIVALS THAT OF NICOLE KIDMAN IN THE UNDOING IN THAT IT IS ALSO A RED NIGHTMARE WIG. This show spent so much goddamned money on clothes, sets, and CGI greenscreens of Mexico City AND YET NO MONEY FOR WIGS. BOO.

I did enjoy this one chess opponent’s walrus hair but otherwise, Beth’s flip wig has absolutely overstayed its welcome and is a compete and utter bent nightmare. Also! Remember that one hot chess dude? He shows up and helps Beth with Chess!! HUH?

Also every single weirdo in the chess community somehow form a chess calming circle in Love Actually’s bunker apartment and call Beth internationally to help her win against Borgov at chess! WHAT IN THE DAMN HELL? It is sweet I guess, but also makes ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING SENSE AS BETH WAS A TOTAL ASSHOLE TO ALL THESE PEOPLE AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE A PART OF THEIR WEIRD CHESS GANG.

Ultimately, Beth beats Borgov and wears THIS FUCKING HAT. I think we’re supposed to believe that she is now the white queen chess piece (I HATE THAT I NOW KNOW CHESS PIECES).

She is actually dressed in head to toe white and somehow convinces her American handler that she will just walk...to the airport? And despite being invited to the Johnson White House (girl go there!) would rather just wander the streets of Russia without any purse or luggage or way of getting home. THIS BITCH. She finds a new chess community of old men who play chess outside at folding tables and decides to join them WITHOUT GOING HOME TO PAY JOLENE ALL HER MONEY BACK WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY WHAT SHE SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT AND ALSO MAYBE SETTING UP A BILL CAMP CHESS FOUNDATION BECAUSE YOU NEVER PAID HIM BACK YOU PIECE OF SHIT. No, she is no longer addicted to pills, alcohol, or stealing but is absolutely addicted to chess on a level that is probably lethal. I spent the last moments of the show demanding that the Russian chess hobos murder her and her immaculate white outfit because BETH IS A SELFISH ASSHOLE AND ALL HER WIGS ARE GARBAGE LIKE HER!!!!

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

#wigwurq #queensgambit #anyataylorjoy #garbagepeople #valleyofthedolls #babywigs #pillpoppinorphans #Istillhatechess #loveactually #marielleheller #wiggaslighting