#also...wow. i feel a little old for a lot of media now
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Sweet Nothing
Spencer Reid x Fem Reader
Summary: Penelope made a friend on the internet over covid who just so happens to live in the same town Dr. Reid just got a new job... and playing Cupid is her favourite thing in the world
Warnings: strangers to lovers, meet cute, 40-year-old virgin Spencer, Virgin reader (late 20's/early 30's), picnics, food mention, lots of Taylor Swift references, first times, Spencer is on anti-depressants, oral sex fem receiving, multiple positions, multiple orgasms, sweet sex, lots of communication
Word Count: 12.6
Making friends on the internet was never easy… it always came with its own set of unique difficulties. People lie, anyone could be secretly crazy and when actions don’t really have consequences on the web, they can get crazier.
That being said, Y/N has recently made a wonderful friend in a woman named Penelope.
Penelope’s Tumblr page was pretty normal, very pink and vibrant and happy, but normal nonetheless. She’s in her early 40s, an internet veteran, an ex-employee at the FBI and known for creating a brand new, very safe, social media platform for young people. She was very easy to trust, very forward and easy to open up to as well, which made the two of them bond instantly.
And despite the age difference and the long distance, Y/N would consider Penelope to be her best friend.
She knew everything about her from her favourite colour to her hope and dreams and favourite singer… and also the fact she was a virgin well into her adult life and dying to get out there. They’ve spent most of their friendship discussing their equally awful dating lives, would-be lovers and almost hookups. Both women have tried time and time again to find love, however, nothing ever seemed to work out… until the day Penelope got an idea.
“I have a friend…” Penelope leads, something sinister in her eyes. “And he’s single and pretty cute, too…”
“Do you have a crush?” Y/N lights up thinking this is a happy moment for Penelope. “Oh my god, Penny tell me all about him!!”
“Well, no, actually… I want to set you up with him,” she explains further, in a much softer tone. “He’s so soft and sweet and a few years younger than me… and still a virgin.”
Her eyes grow impossibly wide and her jaw drops momentarily, “you’re kidding?”
“Nope.”
“Wow,” she takes a moment to soak it all in. She sits back in her chair and lets her shoulders drop as she thinks about it. And for once, Penelope is quiet too. “How much older than me is he?”
“He’s 41… which I know it’s a lot older than you but he’s what you’re looking for and you’d be so perfect for him. He’s so wonderful and he’s waited for so long to find someone who wouldn’t judge him and I know you’d love everything about him if I told you everything but I want you to meet him and find out for yourself… sorry, that was a lot.”
“No, no, that’s okay,” she actually loved when Penelope went on little rants like that. “I just don’t really have the funds to fly to Virginia right now—
“That’s another reason why he’s perfect for you, he’s moving to Reno next week!!!” Penelope can’t help but shake her hands with excitement while her voice raises at least a pitch if not 3.
“Is this the same friend who’s already from Nevada?” Her eyes light right up like a cat staring at a laser… she’s seen photos on Penelope’s personal Facebook, everything from selfies in new glasses to the parties with friends and throwbacks from working at the FBI… “doctor what’s-his-name?”
“Spencer, yeah oh my god? I can’t believe you remember him?” Penelope asks and she just shrugs, “See, this is why you’re perfect for Spencer, he talks a lot like I do, only about much smarter things but you’d be able to keep up.”
“I’d love that, actually,” she swoons, feeling slightly embarrassed about how the possibility of having a boyfriend makes her so giddy. “I’d love to listen to someone talk about what they love and just sit there and look at them…”
“Perfect, I tell you! Perfect!!” Penelope exaggerates, “he’s moving in a few days but all his things are already there. The department paid for his relocation and everything, I’m so surprised he actually decided to go this time, he’s been thinking about it forever.”
“Ask him if he wants some help unpacking when he does get here and I’d love to give him a hand,” she agrees fully, taking a leap of faith and seeing where this could go without the fear of the unknown weighing her down.
—
She shows up at Spencer's apartment 2 days after he arrives in Reno, a bottle of Welcome to the Neighbourhood sparkling cider and an assortment of muffins in her arms, thinking it would be quick and easy for him to take the muffins to work over the next few days, unlike a flower arrangement he didn’t need taking up space in his downsized apartment.
She takes a deep breath before she knocks, her knuckles are barely off the door when he opens it. She barely has a moment to prepare before she’s smacked with the realization that this man is very handsome and incredibly smart… and so, so intimidating.
“Hi,” he smiles at her. “Is that— you didn’t need to bring anything?”
She looks down at the basket she’s holding and then back up to see those beautiful brown eyes, “I know… sorry, um, Hi, welcome to the neighbourhood,” she hands him the basket with the best smile she can muster, slightly embarrassed to be so flustered by the mere sight of him.
“Thank you, come in,” he steps out of the doorway so she could walk in, he steps away from the door completely and sets the basket on a moving box. “Sorry, it’s a mess, the movers just put the boxes wherever they wanted, so I’ve been reorganizing where they were supposed to go,” Spencer explains, gesturing to the room around them.
“It’s okay, that’s why I’m here,” she’s cheery as she shuts the door and starts to take her coat off. “Can I just leave this over here?”
“Yeah, actually—“ he reaches for the closet door, “I found the box with hangers first so you could hang your coat when you got here.”
“She said you were a genius,” Y/N teases, holding her coat up so he could slip the hanger inside and hang it on the bar. She sets her purse down inside the closet too, just for safekeeping.
“I hope she hasn’t talked me up too much,” he’s honest with his fears. “I’m afraid I’m actually quite average, maybe tilted towards the strange side…”
She gives him another smile, but ultimately shakes her head, “Don’t worry, she didn’t tell me anything really personal. I only really know about you from stories she’s told me about her old job, but nothing in detail… I was just starting to get to know her when you were hospitalized before the pandemic and she was by your side a bunch so she wasn’t online and I was actually worried something happened to her 'cause she’s never that quiet.”
“Oh, yeah, that was awful,” he agrees, pressing his lips together awkwardly while he thinks about it. But then he takes a deep breath and his shoulders drop. “So I was thinking we could start in the kitchen? I’ve found most of the boxes.”
“Yeah, lead the way,” she says, following him through the front room to the living room that was connected to the kitchen by means of an archway. “Oh wow,” she muses aloud, “this is going to be nice to decorate…”
“You think?” He looks a mix of worried and confused, “I have no idea what to do with the place.”
“I’m sure once we start taking out all your things we’ll figure something out,” she knows she can make a room out of anything, it's how she decorates her classroom each September. Just with sheer will and pure hope.
“I had to downsize a lot to come here, I donated most of my books so I wouldn’t cost the department a fortune moving them out, but I still have a lot,” he shares, both proud and a little embarrassed that 50% of his boxes are for books. “I don’t have many personal things or decorations… I honestly wasn’t in my last place enough to make it feel homey.”
“You’ll be here often, though, right?” She asks, selfishly, she can already see them becoming somewhat good friends and she wants to be able to see him regularly.
He nods, “Yeah, I’m going to be working with the sex crimes unit, 9 to 5 every day unless there’s a big case,” he explains. “Like human trafficking or a pedophile ring or something, but I doubt I’ll see an overwhelming number of those right now, it’ll be nice to downsize to just a city instead of dealing with the entirety of The United States.”
“I have 4 different groups of teenagers that I teach, which is like 120 kids alone, I can’t imagine being principal and having a thousand kids to watch out for,” she can relate it back. “I’m sure this will be less stressful for you… still awful sometimes but—
“But I’m good with stress,” he assures her. “Especially this kind of stress. You know, when I first started at the BAU I had a co worker who transferred over from sex crimes in New York, she actually had a great time cause she got to kick some creeps ass every now and then.”
“Oh that’s cool, I guess,” she tries not to be jealous, knowing he’s probably had lots of meaningful relationships with women throughout his life, but that’s not going to stop him from getting to know her.
She grabs a box that says mugs and lifts it to the edge of the counter island instead of dwelling on these bubbling feelings for who is essentially, a stranger. “Which cupboard did you want the mugs to go in?”
“Uh,” he gets nervous then. “I have about 3 boxes of mugs… so wherever they fit?”
“Sounds good,” she can’t help but smile, it was cute. “Do you like to collect them or something?”
“Kinda,” he reaches into his pocket and takes out an exacto-knife, handing it to her so she can open the cardboard box. She pushes the knife out of its plastic sheath and starts to cut along the tape seam.
The first mug she pulls out is a pink octopus, “oh, this is so cute?”
“That’s Mildred,” he can’t help but smile, “I got that from Penelope on her last day at work.”
“Oh,” she holds it to her chest in a sweet hug. “I can’t wait for her to come and visit, I just know she gives amazing hugs.”
“Actually, she hugged me before I left and said that I was supposed to pass it along to you at some point…” he looks at her softly, slightly terrified. “Which is strange 'cause she knows I don’t like touching and we’ve never met before but for some reason, she knew I’d still want to hug you upon meeting you…”
She can’t help but laugh, placing the mug down on the counter, “is that an invitation?”
He nods, opening his arms and allowing her to step into his space. She wraps her arms around his middle and holds him close, feeling his large hands on her shoulder and upper back, his thumb lightly caressing the fabric of her shirt.
She stays there in the hug for a moment and then pulls back, “I’ll be sure to tell her that you passed that along.”
“Good,” he’s smiling like an idiot, bright red and flustered, falling head over heels for her already.
At least, the little voice in her head thinks so. Making her smile back at him with the same giddy hopefulness that she’s longed for most of her life.
—
He feels like the most awkward person in the whole fucking world. Hiding away in the living room to unbox something alone and give himself a moment of anxiety without having to play it cool in front of her any longer.
She’s pretty, she’s nice, she smells like honey and happiness and new beginnings… Penelope raved about her for days when she heard he was moving to Reno and now he can see why.
Y/N is amazing… it’s almost too good to be true.
She’s in his kitchen humming while she unpacks box after box of his dishes, moving around his new space like she was always meant to be here too. Like she’s a ghost or an extra piece of the pre-furnished listing. Like it was hers first.
He can’t quite place what song it is that she’s humming, but it’s nice. He wanders over to the archway and leans against it, watching her in admiration as she slides some more mugs to the back of a shelf. He knows he wants to ask her out for real. Not just as friends, not just for help or convenience but because his aura is drawn to hers and the colour they could make together has never been made before.
When she turns around to grab another mug she’s startled by his presence in the doorway, “gosh,” she gasps and places her hand on her chest to get over the initial shock. “What the heck, Spencer?”
“Sorry, it’s just…” he licks his lips and thinks it over before saying it, “It’s so nice to have you here… it feels right.”
“Oh,” she softens, he can see a weight lift off her shoulders and her eyes glimmer under the lights. “Thank you, thats the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me?”
“Would you want to go on a real date, tomorrow?” He can’t help but ask. “I know Penelope was hoping for us to date and I hate that she’s always right but, I would really like to go on a date with you.”
“Yeah, absolutely,” she makes her way around the counter and over to be closer to him. “I’d love that, what do you want to do?”
“Um,” he really didn’t think that far ahead… “can I surprise you?”
“Sure,” she gives him the sweetest, most hopeful smile that makes his heart swell.
“Is there anything you don’t like? Or are allergic to? Anything I should avoid?” He can’t help but ask. The last thing he wants is to surprise her with something that makes her distance herself from him. It’s happened too many times before.
She shakes her head, “not that I can think of?”
“Okay,” he smiles at her, stepping into her space more. “I found my Alexa that Penelope got me years ago, did you want me to put on that song you were humming?”
She looks like a dear in the headlights, she clearly forgot he could hear her when she was humming. “Oh, um… no? I don't think you’d like the song.”
“It sounded nice when you were humming?”
“It’s embarrassing…”
“What is it?”
She sighs and gives in, “Taylor Swift has this song that I listen to when I dream about the life I want and it’s been stuck in my head all day cause I’m in your kitchen… and the lyric is outside they’re pushing and shoving but you’re in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was Sweet Nothing…”
“That’s not embarrassing,” his heart swells. “Penelope is a matchmaker, has she ever told you about all the couples she created at the FBI? She’s responsible for 5 marriages and by proxy about 10 babies.”
“Wow,” Y/N’s a bit taken aback by that. “So you’re saying she’s like Cupid?”
He nods, “Or she’s able to see fate's design a lot better than us.”
“One hug? That’s all it took?” She teases him.
“A few mugs?” He teases right back.
“Hey, you can tell a lot about a person by what they hoard,” she bites back, trying not to smile too hard.
He just shakes his head and backs up, headed back to the living room with her in tow. “Hey Alexa, what’s the Taylor Swift song that says you’re in the kitchen humming.”
“That would be Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift on Midnights By Taylor Swift, released October—“ the British man's voice comes booming from the small speaker only to be cut off.
“Hey Alexa play Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift,” he orders with a smirk plastered to his face.
“Okay, here’s Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift on Amazon Music.”
Within the first few notes, he knows this is going to be their song. He extends his hand to her, silently asking her to dance even though he doesn’t really know how… and by design or some exquisite happenstance, she takes it.
With one hand in hers, his other hand lands on her hip while her extra hand is placed ever so gently on his shoulder. Chest to chest, eye to eye, they smile and sway along to the flow of the tune. Her hand squeezes around his own slightly tighter, the tune matches exactly how she was humming in his own kitchen and then he hears the lyric she mentioned.
They said the end is coming,
Everyone's up to something,
I find myself running home to your sweet nothings.
Outside, they're push and shoving,
You're in the kitchen humming,
All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.
He spins her around making her laugh as she crashes back into his chest and holds him tighter. She wraps her arm around his middle and rests her chin on his shoulder. The music is loud, but his thoughts are louder. He wants everything this song mentions but with her. Only her. And it’s been only an hour and a bit that he’s known her. He doesn’t even really know her but he craves to.
“Do you write poems?” He asks after the song mentions them.
She shakes her head, “no, but I know you read a lot of them… do you write them too?”
He nods, “Sometimes… maybe I’ll make you one.”
“I’ll probably cry,” she admits.
Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors
And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other
And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more"
To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it
She is soft-hearted. She’s sweet and kind and wonderful, too. She tilts her head to the side to rest against his own. Now cheek to cheek, he lets out a deep breath he didn’t even know he was holding. She hums along to the song, just soft enough for him to hear, not quite on key, but it’s endearing.
They’re quiet for the rest of the song and keep swaying, knowing it’s going to end soon and they’re going to have to pull away. They don’t want to… luckily the song is on a loop. It starts right back up and so they don’t pull away.
—
His place is still a mess when he gets ready to leave the next morning. After their dance, she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on unpacking and he knew he’d be too tempted to hold her all night long… so she went home. He helped her into her coat, he hugged her goodbye and she left, taking a piece of his heart with her.
He’s not as used to Reno as he was with DC, but one look at the map and he was able to find the grocery store quite easily. He walks there because he opted not to bring his shitty car with him. He sold it with the promise of looking for a new one here in Nevada, but it was actually a lot nicer to walk in a sunny place like this. And on days when it’s not as nice, taxis exist for a reason. He really didn’t need a car, anymore.
He didn’t realize how much he missed Nevada until now.
He spent a lot of last night thinking about what he wanted to do for their date and came up with the splendid idea of a picnic. The first thing he did was call Penelope, it wasn’t too late for her back in DC, so he didn’t feel too bad, but he had to ask her some questions. He wanted everything to be perfect. She talked his ear off and then gave him an extensive list of the things she knows Y/N likes from past conversations, it turns out they’ve spent a bit of time talking about snack foods and it was finally coming in handy.
He comes back to his newly unpacked kitchen with bags of groceries, he prepares sandwiches on croissants and cuts up cheese and puts them on toothpicks with fancy slivers of meat… and he bought some new Tupperware so the meats and cheese can be in one and the fruit he bought can be in another. He bought her favourite drinks and some cute disposable cups to put them in because he didn’t have anything other than coffee mugs, which he was sure she wouldn’t mind, but he did.
He wanted this to be perfect for her.
All while he was packing their picnic basket, he listened to Taylor’s music, thanks to Penelope he had a playlist of her favourites to get himself caught up on them and ended up liking most of them himself. Especially one called Maroon. The lyrics are so powerfully written and wondrously sung, it’s as if a heart-stopping novel was put to music and all told within 3 minutes and 38 seconds. Taylor Swift is a genius, that much her lover got right in sweet nothing. What a mind, indeed.
Just a little past her apartment, there is a little park with a lovely field of flowers beside it. It’s a perfect spot for a picnic, so once he’s finished packing their picnic, he sets off on a walk to her apartment, thinking a walk to the park together would only add to the ambiance of the day.
He makes it to her place a little before 11, like he told her he would, and spends a few seconds in the hallway to catch his breath and fix his hair before he knocks. And when he does knock, it’s 3 times and he hits the wood pretty hard with his knuckles. Inside, it’s pretty quiet and then he hears her call out, “Just a sec!!”
He waits patiently for a minute or two and then she wipes the door open while putting in an earring, “Sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was.”
She’s breathtaking. She’s all dolled up and it’s all for him. He can’t believe it.
“That’s okay,” he manages to breathe out, leaving his mouth hung open as he stares.
She just smirks and reaches out for him, touching his chin and redirecting his jaw closed. “You don’t want to catch flies…”
He blushes, uncontrollably, and bows his head, bashful as ever. “Sorry, you just look beautiful… I’m not used to someone getting all dolled up for me.”
She lets out a huff of breath through her nose, settling all her nerves, her shoulders drop and she stares at him like he’s the only man in the whole world. “You’re so sweet, I almost can’t believe you’re real.”
“That feeling is mutual,” he assures her.
She finally looks down at his hands to see him holding a picnic basket. “Oh my god, are we going to have a picnic?” She lights right up.
He nods, “is that okay?”
“Okay? It’s perfect, Spencer!” She’s so excited and it’s real. She’s not playing it up or anything. She’s genuinely over the moon. “Let me just put on my shoes and grab my purse, you can wait in here.”
“Okay,” he steps inside and closes the door behind himself as she runs off into he bedroom.
It’s a small apartment. Her bedroom and bathroom are separate rooms, but the kitchen, living room and the washer and dryer are all exposed. She has it set up really nicely, it’s warm and inviting and happy and he could see himself making a home on her couch in the upcoming weeks of getting to know her. He couldn’t wait to learn about her favourite shows and movies and books. He wanted to hear all about her family and friends and co-workers, even her favourite students and the ones who irked her. He wanted to hear about it all. He wants to know her favourite colour and how she likes her pizza and her pasta and what her favourite baked good is. There’s an endless amount of personal things that he can learn, and he wants to know it all. He wants to love it all, too.
When she returns, she has her shoes on, her purse over her shoulder and a blanket draped over her forearm. “I don’t want to sit on the grass, and I didn’t think you fit a blanket in there…”
“Oh, shoot,” he looks down at the basket and realizes that was the one thing he forgot. “Yeah, we’re going to need that.”
“Thought so,” she smirks. She walks back over to the door and grabs her keys, “anything else you need?”
“Just you,” he replies without thinking it over.
“Stop being so sweet,” she nudges him, staring up at him like he hung the stars, himself.
“Or else?” He teases. It’s remarkable how easy it is with her. It just flows out of him like the script was already written between them.
She steps even closer into his space, “you get a kiss for every compliment,” she says, standing on her tip-toes, she presses her lips to his cheek for 1, 2, 3 seconds of pure bliss.
She drops back down to her normal height, a smirk plastered to her face, proud of the lipstick stain that’s almost as red as his blushing cheek. She reaches up to wipe it off but he pulls back, “don’t…” he’s adamant. “I want everyone to know you’re mine if you’re going out looking this beautiful beside me.”
“Okay then.”
—
Like a real man, Spencer insists on standing closer to the road as they walk along the sidewalk. A few moments into their walk, he transitions the basket to his right side so that his hand that’s closest to her is free and she notices it right away. She has draped the blanket over her left arm, leaving her right hand free… all but begging him to take it. But he’s shy and quiet and he doesn’t know how to just do it.
So she does.
She takes his hand in hers and interlocks their fingers, smiling up at him as they keep going forward, “have you ever been to this park?”
He shakes his head, “No… is it nice? The reviews online said it’s clean and there isn’t a lot of illegal activity there.”
She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, it’s a nice park. Sometimes I hit up the bookstore down here and then I go read in the park. It’s nice in the summer when I have a week off between my regular job at the school and my summer job.”
“Summer job?”
She nods, “Mhm, you know, 'cause I only work at the high school when school is in session and I don’t make enough to take two whole months off so each summer I take a new job. Like last summer I worked at a daycare but the summer before that I was at a ladies' clothing store a few streets over.”
“What are you going to do this summer?” He asks, intrigued.
“I’m not sure yet… I’m still friends with some of the girls at the daycare so I might go back, but honestly, I’m also thinking of putting in my application for summer school and I might tutor some of the kids that need help graduating,” she explains. “Cause I know how hard it is to try your best and still just not get it. They shouldn’t be punished for having a hard time.”
“You sound like a wonderful teacher, I’m sure they’d really like to have you in the summer, too,” Spencer compliments. “I was always closest to the kids that didn’t do very well in school. It’s not that I pitted them or felt like I could improve them, I just liked who they were as people, more.”
“They’re lovely kids, they just get pushed to the side because they either learn differently or they can’t do the work at home for whatever reason. And they shouldn’t be punished for that, it’s not their fault that most kids nowadays have to work to help their families or become a second parent to help their younger siblings. They barely have the time to take care of themselves let alone do 5 hours of homework a night,” she rants, “I genuinely hate how the school system is currently.”
“My nephew is in high school currently and he isn’t having the best time,” Spencer shares. “He calls me for help on his math homework sometimes and it always floors me that even if he got to the right answer, if he didn’t follow the exact formula that the teacher uses then he gets a 0. There are many different ways to solve an equation, and as long as he shows his work it should count.”
“Exactly!” She raises her voice a little and startles a lady passing them. “It’s frustrating to watch them struggle with shit they’ll never use again unless they’re going into a math-dominated field. It’s not fair.”
“More kids need a teacher like you,” Spencer says, giving her hand a little squeeze.
“Why, thank you,” she gleams. “If we weren’t in the middle of the walkway I’d kiss you again…”
“The books store is just up here, you can kiss me in the aisles… if you really want to?” he kids, but not really. She can tell he wants another kiss from her.
So she drags him into the bookstore, they tell the worker that they’re just looking and perusing the store, calling out the titles they know and rating the backs of the ones that seem interesting until they’re in the back aisle. She turns to him with a smirk, “Are you gonna make me stand on my tip-toes every time, bean sprout?”
He smirks and places the picnic basket down on the floor so his hands are free, “I could just kiss you, instead, you know?”
“You wouldn’t be so bold?” She tempts, secretly hoping he will.
He tentatively reaches out, placing his beautifully soft hand on her cheek and caressing her skin with his thumb before he starts to lean in. She closes her eyes in anticipation, just mere seconds before their lips touch and like the big bang, universes were created in the pitch-black darkness behind her eyelids. Colours she’s never seen before, feelings she’s only read on pages that surround them, and a warmth in her chest that seems so foreign… yet so right.
He goes to pull away and she leans back in, dropping the blanket in the process to kiss him again and again until his tongue slips past her lips and it's more than just a kiss. It’s the start of something beautiful. Something more than Penelope ever thought possible when her two friends ended up in the same town at the same time.
They’re brought out of the moment by the sound of a woman clearing her throat, “You actually have to buy something you can’t just make out back here.”
“Sorry, sorry.”
“I’m so sorry!”
The two of them rush out with equally guilty mugs. She grabs the first book she see’s, “We’ll take this.”
“I’ll meet you at the register,” the keeper replies rather snidely and over it as she walks away.
Looking down at the book, it’s a poetry book by an author she’s never heard of before. “You know this one?”
Spencer shakes his head, “surprisingly, no.”
She picks up the blanket again, he grabs the basket and the two of them slowly make their way towards the cash. “Sorry, again,” Y/N says, pressing her lips together awkwardly. “I don’t know where that came from, we really just wanted a book for our picnic.”
“I’ve been in love before, I get it,” she waves it off with a growing smile. “This is a good choice… it’s only 6 dollars as well.”
“I’ve got it,” Spencer steps forward, taking his wallet out of his pocket and handing the woman two 5 dollar bills. “Do you take tips or donations?”
“Always, it keeps the lights on,” she’s happy to take the extra money, exchanging one of the 5’s for 4 1’s and placing them in a jar behind the desk. “Thank you, I hope to see you back here sometime.”
“Definitely, I’d love to have a real look next time,” Spencer teases as Y/N takes the book. He places his hand on her back, “thank you.”
“Have a good rest of your day,” she adds for good measure, following Spencer towards the door.
“You too! And enjoy your picnic!” The lady calls back just before they leave.
“God,” Y/N scolds herself, “I can’t believe that happened.”
“Spencer just laughs, “It’s not that embarrassing… believe me, I’ve walked in on much worse.”
“I can imagine, I mean, Penelope told me about some of your cases,” she says with the roll of her eyes. “I really don’t know how you did it for so long.”
“Honestly, me either,” he agrees with her there. “How much do you know about me? Because she never told me much about you and I’m worried we’re not on even playing grounds…”
“Oh, not much!” She tries to sound as believable as possible. “She basically told me you’re a genius, she loves you like a little brother and some little anecdotes like you were shot in the knee once and were on crutches for months and you wear a lot of purple which I’ve also seen in the Facebook photos she has of you… but nothing super personal.”
“Okay, that’s good then… cause she’s seen me at my worst,” Spencer admits as they make their way toward the park entrance
“She was basically big brother to you guys,” Y/N teases.
Spencer manages to laugh, “Yeah, she was.”
The gates to the park are open, there are children running about cheering with one another while their parents sit on the benches and talk, barely watching on. They pass everyone and head right back to the grassy area behind the playground, past the soccer fields and take cover under a baby Willow tree that still has lots of growing left to do, however, she’s still big enough to cast a good amount of shade on them.
She lays out the blanket perfectly and takes a seat while Spencer gets down on his knees, placing the picnic basket in front of himself. All while they’re still talking about Penelope. He takes out two plastic champagne flutes and hands them to her first, then he sets out the bubbly drink he got, followed by 4 Tupperware containers. “Speaking of which, I called her last night and she told me about your favourite snacks…”
“No way?” She can’t believe it.
He simply nods, a smirk growing, “It would seem you two love food.”
“Well, it’s always late when we call so she’s seen a lot of my nightly snacks,” She admits. “Is that? No way…” She takes one of the containers and opens it up to find little croissant sandwiches. “You want me to fall in love with you? Don’t you?”
He’s startled to hear it and she can’t believe she said it. It was forward and real and incredibly honest. But Spencer nods. Of course, he nods. “Yeah, I do.”
She looks at him like that 'I do' was the big one. The most important one. And to her, it’s almost more important. “Really?”
“I’ve spent most of my life completely alone, I’m tired… and I’m not settling, not at all, no,” he stutters out and worries he’s offended her. “I just mean, I like you, you’re wonderful already and everything I look for in a person and if you loved me I’d be the luckiest man in the world.”
“Wow,” she can’t believe it.
“Sorry—
“No, no,” she reaches out, dropping the container so she could touch his knee instead, “don’t, I’m just shocked, really…”
“Really?”
She nods, “Yeah, not many people have just openly told me that they like me let alone want me to love them?”
“Me either,” Spencer admits. He’s ready to lay his whole heart bare to her. “I really want someone to love me and if that someone was you then I could die happy.”
“Not on my watch,” she manages to smile. “My love means taking care of you. My love includes worrying and obsessing and making you entirely mine… it’s driven people away before we could even start anything real, I don’t want that to happen here.”
“It won’t,” Spencer is quick to reply. “It can’t drive me away, it’s exactly what I want… and I want to love you just the same.”
“You won’t have to try hard,” she teases, smiling up at him. “Come on, get comfortable, grab a sandwich and talk to me. Tell me about yourself and watch it happen.”
“Okay,” he follows her instructions.
He gets comfortable on the blanket, taking off his shoes so he can sit crisscross applesauce and he pours them each a glass of sparkling cider. “I’m sober,” he shares first. “I had some drug problems in my 20’s and I find if I avoid all substances, except coffee, then I won’t slip.”
“Wise man,” she compliments. “I don’t drink either, mostly cause drinking alone is sad and I don’t like how it makes me feel.”
“And I picked this pinky one cause of the line in Paris…” Spencer admits which makes her peak right up. “You know, fake wine makes believe it’s champagne…”
“Oh my god, you listened to Midnights?”
He nods, “I went back to listen to Sweet Nothing and thought why not?”
She can��t help but shake her head and smile, “That’s so cute, you have no idea how cool this is for me. No one I know really likes her, everyone acts too cool for Taylor Swift and then you come in and listen to her on your own accord? That’s— that’s everything to me, Spencer.”
“I think she’s amazing, well, so far, at least,” he admits. “I’ve only listened to the one album but it was a great album, I particularly enjoyed Maroon.”
“Her track 2’s are always my favourite,” Y/N raves. “She saves track 5 for her personal favourites or songs that mean the most to her, like on Red there’s this one called All Too Well and it’s originally 5 minutes but on the new recording of Red it’s 10 minutes and it’s so good. It’s insanely beautiful.”
“I can’t wait to listen to it,” he can’t help but smile. “I love listening to you talk about her, you glow.”
“Here,” she pulls out her phone and headphones from her purse and plugs them in. “We can listen to it now if you want?”
“Okay,” he agrees, taking an earbud and placing it in his ear while she moves closer to share the other.
And for 10 minutes they sit there in silence, she eats her sandwich and he listens to the words with the most admiration. The hurt is palpable, the passion is gut-wrenching… he loves it and she can tell from the look on his face. He’s so focused and enthralled. She feels a warmth in her chest that she hasn’t felt before, something in this moment is what makes her really love him. She isn’t just infatuated, he isn’t just cute and nice… he’s special.
“That was amazing—
“I never want to feel like that,” she whispers, staring at him intently. “don’t break my heart, please.”
“I don’t plan to?”
She lets out a deep breath she didn’t mean to hold, “I’ve never dated anyone before because I can’t go through the heartache. She made it seem so fucking awful I never want to feel it.”
“It’s awful,” he admits, all the hurt he’s experienced comes forth, pooling behind his eyes as tears form. “I was in love only once. She died before I could tell her.”
“Oh, Spencer, I’m so sorry,” she can’t believe it. “When?”
“In 2013.”
“Have you been single for 10 years?”
He nods, “Basically. I tried to date before the pandemic but she wasn’t really my type, it was more convenient so it didn’t last.”
“Oh.”
“This isn’t like that,” he assures. “You’re kind and beautiful and you have a normal job and you make people's lives better… you’ve made Penelope’s life better. You are sunshine—
“Do not call yourself midnight rain I will laugh,” she cuts him off, biting back a smirk.”
“I wasn’t,” he laughs too, “but it works here, too.”
“I’m not always sunny,” she adds, making sure he knows that.
“That’s okay,” he’s fine with it, really. “Even on gloomy days, the sun is just behind the clouds.”
She can’t believe he just said that. It’s so beautiful and kind and about her? It makes her just stare at him, mouth opening to say something but nothing comes out. She doesn’t know what to say. “Oh, man… I’m going to fall in love with you so quickly.”
“Me too,” Spencer smiles, reaching out to hold her hand. He grips it tight and doesn’t break eye contact with her, “and I’m excited about it.”
—
He only lives around the corner from her which means they see each other every day for the next week. They wake up at the same time, they get coffee before work, she drops him off at the police station and then she heads to the high school. After school, she goes and picks up something for dinner and he Ubers right to her apartment to eat. They talk well into the night, they listen to music, they watch documentaries and movies and they cuddle… she knows almost everything about him and he knows almost everything about her. He’s going to meet her family in the summer, hopefully, and she’s going to meet Diana in a few weeks.
Being together is the most fun she’s ever had in her entire life.
And while they’re not going on dates to get to know each other, they are dating and Penelope is happy about it for the most part. She’s just upset she lost her nightly chats with Y/N on Zoom. They barely even text now.
When Penny finally does get Y/N on the phone, however, it’s on a night that Spencer has an intense case in Reno. The BAU are back in town… 3 women have died this week, all online sex workers, they never walked the streets and yet that’s where they’ve ended up. It’s heartbreaking.
“I called him today during his break and he just sounded so defeated, it breaks my heart,” Y/N says with her hand over her chest and pleading eyes, “it’s too bad you’re not working with them again.”
“Their new tech guy is good,” Penelope assures her, “and he’s got JJ and Luke with him so he’s fine… he’s more than fine, he’s Spencer.”
She rolls her eyes playfully, “he is fine…”
“You guys really like each other?” Penelope digs, she wasn’t going to pry and press too many questions but she can’t help herself.
Y/N nods, “Yeah… I think I love him.”
“Really?” Penelope lights right up, “Oh my god?”
“I know! It’s been so nice, we were going to go on another date tonight but, you know, duty calls…”
“How many have you had so far?”
“Uh,” Y/N doesn’t really know. “Well, we unpacked boxes last Saturday and then on Sunday we went to the park and I’ve seen him every day this week…”
“I know,” Penelope pretends to be mad about it but she can’t stay fake mad for long. She loves them both too much. “I’ve missed you.”
“I miss you too, I just like cuddles with my boyfriend more…”
“Boyfriend?”
She nods, “Yeah, I think that’s what we are, I mean, we’ve already talked about what we want and he said he wants to fall in love with me so I think that makes us boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“Spencer said that? Shy, nervous, Spencer Reid?” Penelope can’t believe it.
She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, I guess that’s him… I don’t know, he’s a lot less shy with me.”
“Have you—
“No, no, not yet,” she waves her hands in front of the screen and looks panicked. “No. We haven’t even talked about it yet.”
“No?”
She shakes her head, “No… I mean, I want to and we’ve had some nice make-out sessions but we haven’t done anything more than kiss.”
“Wow,” Penelope is genuinely shocked. “I thought you would’ve jumped him by now.”
“Hey,” she says with a cheeky smile. “I have self-control… so does he, I guess cause he hasn’t even tried to cop a feel or anything, he’s super reserved.”
“Well yeah he’s spent 40 years being a virgin,” Penelope says without any malice, she’s just stating a fact. “He’s used to things not going there. I think you have to make the move.”
“I was thinking that too,” she doesn’t sound excited about it. “I’m just really scared even though I know I shouldn’t be when it’s Spencer. He’s going to be very sweet and he’s already told me he thinks I’m beautiful and I feel it around him… it’s just so nerve-wracking.”
“I was still a teenager when I had sex the first time and it was so scary, I wish I waited,” she really emphasizes Wish. “I wish I was mature and chose someone good and deserving and I wish he cared about me. But you have all those things right now, it’ll be worth it now.”
“I know,” she tries her hardest to believe her. “I know it’ll be okay… it’s just the anticipation feels more like anxiety.”
“Which is totally normal, but it’ll go away when it happens, believe me.”
“I do.”
—
Spencer's cause goes on another 4 days. She brings him coffee and donuts after work, she meets his friends and ex-collogues and she understands now why he had to get out of it all. Emily is just a few years older than him and fully grey, JJ sneaks out to make phone calls to her family who she doesn’t see as often as she wants and Luke is still single no matter how hard he tries. The job takes things from them.
She gives him a hug before she leaves each time, never a kiss, that would embarrass him in front of his new co-workers and his old ones would never let him live it down. So he gets just a hug. It’s long, they linger and then she goes home.
It’s weird being home without him now that he’s been there often. She misses him dearly, every day. All through the weekend, he works. And then the case ends on a Tuesday at 3 in the morning and stays up just for her. He buys them coffee, he walks to her place and he knocks on her door right at 6:30, 15 minutes after he knows her alarm has gone off.
She opens the door dazed and confused. “What are you doing here?”
“I missed my best friend.”
“Get in here,” she tugs him inside and makes him put the coffees down so she could have a proper welcome.
She cups his face in her hands and kisses him with so much force and passion, it startles him. But he kisses her back. He wraps her up in a big hug, bringing her in closer, he deepens the kiss with the swipe of his tongue and she pushes him back against her door. It’s as fiery as the first time, it’s better than the kiss in the bookstore, there’s so much more feeling in it now.
His hand roams up the flat of her back, over her shoulders and rests on the nape of her neck. His thumb caresses the skin under her ear, causing her to moan into the kiss and pull away, embarrassed. Her eyes go wide and she stutters on her way to find an excuse but Spencer just smiles, still caressing her, he brings his other hand up to cup her cheek, “It’s okay… you’re so cute.”
Her cheeks heat up and she feels bashful as all hell. “Shut up,” is all she can manage to say. “I’m still half asleep, I mean, you should be lucky I already brushed my teeth before you surprised me.”
“Mm,” Spencer hums, running his tongue over his teeth, “that’s why you’re so minty.”
She just pulls away and reaches for her coffee, “And now I can’t drink this until the minty-ness goes away, so thank you.”
“Should I go awa—
“No,” she rushes out. “No, you can stay. I can drive you home on my way to work.”
“Okay,” he can’t help but giggle a bit as he makes his way closer to her, reaching out for her waist. “You like me…”
“Shush!” She swats him away, “I have to get ready, don’t tempt me.”
“Just one more kiss? Come on, isn’t it the deal that I compliment you and you kiss me?” He begs. “You’re so beautiful and smart and lovely—
She steps closer to him and presses her lips right to his only to pull back just as fast. He cups her face in his hands and stops her from moving away too fast and peppers kisses to her lips. “Spence— Spencer!” She giggles while trying to pull away, “Seriously, I have to go to work!!”
“Fine,” Spencer sighs as he lets her go, only to pull her back in for one last kiss. “Okay, now you can go.”
She just laughs as she pulls away and heads back to her room, “Come on, you can sit in my room while I get ready.”
“Really?” He follows even though he doesn’t believe her.
“Why not?” She doesn’t see why it’s a big deal, “I’m just doing my makeup and then I have to pick an outfit and I’ll change in the bathroom?”
“Okay, yeah, sorry I just thought you meant you’d change in front of me and I didn’t think we were there yet?”
“Oh, no,” she agrees. Taking a seat at her little makeup desk, she turns to him. “When do you think we should be ready for something like that?”
“When do you want to?” He questions her right back.
She shrugs, “I don’t know… this Saturday is 2 weeks of us being together so, I mean, most couples start moving further around then?”
“We’re not most couples,” he reminds her.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Spencer hesitates, he looks a little nervous but he sits on the end of her bed anyway. “I’ve never had sex before… I’ve wanted to, I’ve tried.”
“I’ve never even tried,” she’s incredibly honest. “Making out is as far as I’ve gone with anyone.”
“Really?” He almost can’t believe it. “Why?”
She shrugs, “I’m over-emotional and incredibly soft. I can’t do one-night stands and I’ve never trusted anyone enough to experiment before.”
“Oh,” Spencer softens, “you feel safe with me?”
She nods, “Extremely.”
He gets up and wraps his arms around her, resting his cheek against the top of her head. She snuggles into him and holds onto one of his forearms, they both sigh. Completely content with one another.
—
They agreed to try and go further on Friday night. They both have weekends off, so they could spend the whole weekend together if they wanted to.
And when Friday comes, she isn’t nervous. It’s just a Friday.
She placed an order for Chinese food when she got home from work and texted Spencer right after so he could get it on his way over. It was closer to his place and convenient this way and he just liked to get it for them. And while he’s on his way, she takes the time to bring out some comfy blankets to put on the couch for their cuddles later and she lights some candles and turns on her fairy lights. Her whole living room is set in a soft, romantic mood with the hopes that they could do more than just cuddle tonight…
Spencer knocks 3 times to let her know it’s him and then he walks in, “Hey, so they ran out of spring rolls but they gave us egg rolls instead, is that cool?”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” she doesn’t care, rushing over to the door she takes the bags from him and puts them on the table by the door instead.
He slips out of his shoes and puts them beside hers, then he takes his bag off and places it beside his shoes, next he takes off his coat and hangs it up. He even locks her front door for her, these are all things he’s used to doing after 2 weeks of visiting. She clears her throat when he takes too long to turn back to her, “excuse me, I’m waiting,” she teases.
“Sorry,” he steps closer to her and places his hand on her cheek as he leans in for his welcome home kiss. It’s a new tradition that she loves so much and clearly he does too as she can feel him smile through the kiss. He kisses her once, twice and a 3rd time just because he can, “there, happy?”
She shakes her head and cups both his cheeks, pulling him in for a longer, more passionate kiss. His hands go to her waist, holding her closer to his body, he wraps her up in a hug as well. She pulls back with an audible “mwah,” and a smile on her own face. “Now I’m happy.”
“You’re so cute,” he compliments. “I missed you so much today.”
“I missed you, handsome,” she compliments right back. “Um, I missed you so much I was wondering if maybe you’d want to stay over tonight?”
“Oh?” He’s only slightly surprised, “yeah, I’d like that… I just need to check my bag, hold on.”
“Okay?” She’s a little confused about why he has to, but she doesn’t ask any questions. She just watches him open up his satchel and search the pockets.
“Oh, good,” he says with relief in his voice as he pulls out a bottle of pills and his toothbrush. “I haven’t told you yet, but I’m on antidepressants… I take them every night before bed.”
“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she says without a second thought. “Do they help?”
He nods, putting them back in his bag until later, “Yeah, I like them.”
“Good, now, come on,” she grabs the bag of food and makes her way over to the kitchen so she can start dishing everything out. “Did you check that they had everything?”
“You bet, after they forgot the red sauce last time I’m never not checking the bag again,” he says as he follows her.
They spend a few minutes in the kitchen as they fill their plates with a variety of food. Spencer opts for a fork while she uses the chopsticks provided in the bag and then they move back to the living room. They put their plates on the coffee table and sit down criss-cross apple sauce together on the floor in front of the couch. The remote is on Spencer's side of the table, and the TV is on and ready for them to pick a show, but instead, Spencer asks how her day went.
“Oh, it was okay with my juniors we worked on SAT prep and then with my 3 freshman classes we worked on their independent study unit and I’m now considered the cool teacher cause I let them listen to their music while they read,” she shares with a smile. “And then for my spare I filled in for Miss Tyndall, the arts teacher, so we watched a David Bowie doc while they all worked on different projects.”
“Sounds like a fun day,” Spencer loves to listen to her talk about it all. “You’d be my favourite teacher too.”
“I know,” she can’t help but smile. “How was your day?”
He shrugs, taking a forkful of fried rice, he covers his mouth with his hand while he talks, “It was okay, no one died so that’s a bonus.”
For the rest of their meal, they share little stories, about their day and things they heard on the news or on TikTok, funny anecdotes and memories from their separate pasts. It’s nice. She could listen to him all day and he felt the same. When their plates are empty, they both lean back against the couch and Spencer turns to stare at her with so much love in his eyes.
“I’m really enjoying my nights with you,” he shares, and in the silence, she feels it. But he says it anyway, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she says and a feeling of relief flows out of her in the form of a sigh. Her shoulders drop, and she looks over at him with a sweet smile, silent as they take in the moment. “I love you so much.”
He places his hand on top of hers, both of them are in too much of a food coma to move closer or kiss or anything. They just hold hands and stare at each other.
“I get it now,” she whispers. “I understand what she’s been singing about all these years… this feeling right here. It’s worth the heartbreak, I think.”
“I can’t tell the future, but I know I never want to leave you,” Spencer replies, voice equally as soft. “I want everything with you.”
Her heart starts to beat out of her chest but she knows she has to ask it. “Would you be my first?”
“Only if you’d be mine?”
She nods, tears bubbling behind her eyes, and she squeezes his hand. “I’d love nothing more… but I’m in a food coma right now.”
Spencer breaks out in a burst of historical laughter first, causing her to laugh just as hard and lean into his shoulder.
“Well, then it’s a good thing we have all weekend,” Spencer finally says, he wraps his arm around her and holds her close.
“Even if we don’t do it tonight, do you want to sleep in my bed with me?”
He nods against her, “Yeah… I’ve been thinking about that a lot actually. It’s really hard to leave here in the middle of the night knowing you’re sleeping alone in there when we were just cuddling right here,” he motions to the couch. “I want to wake up with you next to me every morning.”
The warmth that fills her stomach is a mixture of extreme happiness but also anxiety… it’s almost too good to be true. She pulls away and looks up at him with fearful eyes, “is it normal to fall in love this fast?” The words just tumble out of her.
Spencer shrugs, “I mean… I’ve always heard the saying ‘when you know, you know’ and I’ve read a lot about love at first sight and the way we pick our mates based on familiar facial structures that make us feel safe… and I’ve been in love before and I never met her—
“But I understand why you loved her, she was the only person in your life other than your mother to truly take care of you and listen…” Y/N cuts him off, remembering the night he told her all about Maeve.
“Yeah, and from the first day I met you, you’ve done the same,” Spencer reminds her. “You brought me muffins so that I’d have something to eat before work and you wanted to help me unpack and every day since you have cared for me more than anyone I know. Onto of that you’re beautiful and easy to talk to and you’re not only wonderful to me, but to everyone, you know. It wasn’t hard for me to love you, I’m just surprised you love me.”
“Why?”
“Well, for starters I’m a 42-year-old man who’s spent the last 20 years of my life hunting serial killers and I had a drug problem and I’ve killed people and I was in prison… you know everything and you still love me?” Spencer really can’t believe it.
“Mhm, I love you because despite all that shit that’s happened to you, you still have a sweet smile and a big heart and the best mind I know,” Y/N confirms everything he needed to know. “I love you because you’re you. There’s no other reason.”
He cups her cheek and looks at her with the softest expression known to man, “I’m going to love you forever.”
“Show me?” she whispers, pleading with her eyes to know just how much he loves her.
“Do we just leave our plates here?” He teases, going to stand up.
“I guess we can put them away,” she agrees, she moves to her knees and gathers up her own plate while Spencer does the same with his.
They meet again in the kitchen, placing both plates in her dishwasher, she turns to the leftovers and starts to pack them away while Spencer moves back over to his bag. He grabs his phone and something else while she’s not looking and he opens up Spotify. He doesn’t have many songs saved to his account, just some classical music and the most important song… Sweet Nothing.
She turns to him within milliseconds, “Spence?”
He places his phone on the counter and hands her a little rock, one he picked up on his walk over to see her before work last week. He never had the time to give it to her between all their kissing and her getting ready for work. “Here… it’s only May but I can get you another rock in July.”
She doesn’t want to speak or she’ll cry, but she manages to say: “okay,” as she takes it from him and steps into his space to dance again. In her kitchen this time…
She rests her head on his shoulder, his arms around her waist, they sway to the sound of the music and hold each other close. And then he kisses her shoulder and the side of her neck up to her ear. He cups her face in his hand and stares into her eyes, “bedroom?”
“Bedroom,” she agrees, taking his hand in hers, she leads him back into her room and turns on just the one table lamp she has beside her bed, “should we light candles and stuff?”
“Do you want to?”
She shrugs, “I don’t know, isn’t that what people do when they have special sex?”
“Special sex?”
“You know, first times, birthday sex, anniversary sex… emotional sex,” she redefines what she meant and surprisingly she isn’t embarrassed.
“Candles would be nice, then,” Spencer agrees with a smile. “Do you have condoms? Are you on the pill?”
She smirks, “I bought some condoms on Tuesday after work.”
He watches her open her bedside table and take out the box of condoms and a lighter, she hands him the condoms, “Here.”
“Thanks,” he reads them over, latex-free, real feel, they’d work perfectly.
While he’s reading over the box, she lights a few candles in her room and he takes a seat on the side of her bed, watching her. When she returns to him, she stands between his legs and rests her hands on his shoulders. “You’re sure?”
“Absolutely,” Spencer smiles up at her and reaches out to hold her hips. He plays with the hem of her shirt, “how do you want to do this?”
“Can we strip down to our underwear and get into bed and kiss for a bit and see where it goes?”
“Of course, yeah, that sounds good,” Spencer agrees, he pushes up her shirt and she lifts her arms to help. Spencer has to stand up to pull it all the way off and then he looks down at her in her bra. “wow…”
“Thanks,” she smirks, shaking her head as she reaches for his shirt to undo the buttons, “they’re just boobs…”
“Just boobs,” he repeats with a small chuckle. “I’ll have you know everything about you is spectacular.” And with a rush of confidence, he cups both breasts with his hands, he runs his thumbs over where her nipples are hidden under the fabric and she has to bite her lip so she doesn’t moan.
“Do you like that?”
She nods and pushes his shirt off his shoulders until it's discarded on the floor. “Yeah. I don’t think you’ve ever noticed but… your hands… I watch them when you talk and when you’re tracing a page as you read really fast and you use two fingers instead of one and I’ve wanted you to touch me from the moment I saw you.”
“Mmm,” he turns her around and motions for her to get on the bed and she moves quickly, she’s resting her head on the pillows when he’s suddenly hovering over her.
He runs his pointer finger from her chin, down her neck and between the crease of her breasts before cupping them both again and places kisses on her exposed chest. She arches into the contact and his hands follow both her arms until his fingers are interlocked with hers. Holding them over her head as he kisses her neck and shoulder.
“So beautiful,” he whispers, “how’d I get so lucky?”
“We have a great mutual friend, remember?” She teases,
He groans “Don’t mention her when I’m about to go down on you…” he says as he nibbles at her skin and it makes her moan, grinding her hips up against him, she wants him so bad but she still has her pants on. He sits on his knees between her spread legs and undoes the button as she lifts her hips, helping him glide them down her legs and off. He tosses them to the floor and goes right back in, gripping her by the hips he leans down and kisses her stomach… something she never thought any man would do.
He wants her just as bad as she wants him and it’s prevalent in the way his eyes are blown out as he looks up at her, pleading with his eyes, all he says is “Can I?” And she nods. He pulls her underwear down and tosses them off only to lift one and kiss from her ankle and all the way up to her knee and then he dips in closer, smothering her inner thigh with kisses and nips and then he sucks a deep purple mark into her skin, lapping over it with his tongue before blowing on it softly.
“Holy fuck,” she moans as he gets closer to her pussy and all she wants is his hands on her.
Almost like he reads her mind, he moves to the other leg and hurries along until he’s kissing right along where her underwear used to meet her thigh. Then, he spreads her pussy and licks a broad stripe along her cunt. He presses a kiss to her clit next as she bucks her hips into the sensation, “Oh my god, Spence?”
“Shh,” he whispers, looking up at her from between her legs like a man starved. “Just enjoy it, I’ve always wanted to do this.”
She’s so turned on from the teasing alone, and then he adds a finger, he gently circles it around her hole before inserting it slowly, seeing how much give she has before he takes it all. The feeling of his tongue on her is unlike anything she’s ever felt before, he’s soft yet rough and sweet yet disgusting with the noises he’s making. She can’t help reaching out and gripping his hair as her hips lift from the bed again. With only one free hand, he pushes her back down against the bed and she whines. When he adds a second finger, the stretch isn’t too much to handle, he’s so much better with his hands than she figured he’d be as he finger fucks her. His tongue on her clit and freehand trails from her hip up to grip her tit as he grinds against the mattress, he’s so into it she’s worried he might not get to really fuck her.
“Spencer,” she pants, “holy fuck Spence, please, oh my god,” she can barely make it through the sentence when his fingers curl and her legs tremble.
“Cum for me,” he growls against her and her body listens as she jolts forward and she feels the rush flow through her bloodstream.
“Oh!” she cups her breast and arches her back, oblivious to how he watches her while still lapping at her clit.
When it gets to be too much for her, she grips his hair tighter and pulls him off, “fuck me, now… please?”
“Is it an order or a suggestion,” he teases as he kisses back up her body with his glistening and wet lips, “well?”
“Please?” She looks at him with the sweetest, most fucked out expression. “That was amazing, baby.”
“Fuck,” he groans and drags himself off the bed so he can push his pants and boxers off in one fell swoop. Now, only in his mismatched socks, he doesn’t really have the time to take them off as he reaches for the abandoned box of condoms at the foot of her bed.
She watches contently as he hastily rips it open and rolls it on before he gets back on the bed. He gets right back to where he was, between her legs, he places his hands on her knees and soothes them down her inner thighs, “you sure?”
She nods, “I’m ready.”
“Okay,” he says with a deep breath, readying himself in the meantime, he grips himself at the base and pushes the head into her, inch by inch, he watches as her mouth opens in a silent gasp.
“My god…” he coos, “it’s like you were fuckin made for me.”
She’s speechless, reading out for more of him, she’s desperate for his touch. Her hands land on his hips, his skin is so soft and warm and then they’re flush together. He bottoms out and stills, he drops down so that they’re chest to chest and she cups his face instead, “Hi…”
“Hi,” he manages to laugh, holding himself up with one arm, his other hand pushes her hair back off her forehead and stays there. “I love you.”
“I love you,” she says as she pulls him in for a kiss, tasting herself on his tongue, he collapses onto her and wraps his arm around her, angling her hips up as he starts to thrust.
The kiss gets hungrier, and they moan into each other as he picks up the pace, really fucking her just like she asked him to. She has no idea where this side of him came from but she can’t explain how much she likes it, the hand that was once in her hair is now pushed into the pillow, bracing himself as he hovers and fucks her deeply.
She absentmindedly runs her hand along his forearm and takes his hands in hers, interlocking their fingers before he holds it over her head again and fucks into her with vigour. Her legs wrap around him, every trust grinds his pubic bone against her clit and she’s still so sensitive, she’s so incredibly close that all she can do is sloppily kiss him and moan into his mouth.
His hips snap faster and faster as he fucks her and she can’t hold back anymore when she tosses her head back and sucks him in more. “Oh my god,” and “Holy fuck,” is all she can say, making him smirk.
He’s trying his hardest to keep his composure, breathing quickly, it’s the best workout he’s ever had trying to keep the pace and please her right. “I might,” he says between pants, “I might last a while… cause my meds—
“I don’t care,” she uses her free hand to cup his cheek again, “I want to stay here forever, holy shit.”
“Yeah?”
She tosses her head back again, “Oh my god, yeah!”
He just laughs and it’s the sexiest thing she’s ever heard. She’s right there at the edge when he retrieves his hand from behind her back and rubs his thumb over her clit, “you can cum, if you want.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” she says, running her hand down his chest and looking between them to see what he’s doing, “I want to finish with you.”
His grip on the hand she’s holding gets tighter, he’s sweaty and losing stamina and nowhere close to being done. “Do you want to switch positions?” She asks, “It’s okay?”
“Can we?” He slows to a stop, “you’re okay with that?”
“Spence, I love you,” she reminds him, “It’s fine, it’s better than fine, actually… I’ve heard all my friends talk about dudes who last 5 seconds, this is more than I ever expected.”
“I’m just anxious, you can see why I take them,” he gets all blushy and bashful as he lets go of her hand, pulls out and sits back up on his knees.
She sits up too, taking her bra off in the process. She tosses it to the floor and his jaw drops when he sees her naked chest, “fuck..” He mumbles under his breath.
“Here, you sit up against the headboard,” she suggests, moving out of the way so he can take her place.
Once he’s settled she straddles his hips and takes his cock in her hand, angling it toward her entering as she sits upon it. Once he’s fully inside she drapes her arms around his shoulders and smiles at him, “We can do it this way… now you’ve got a face full of tits.”
His hands soothe down her bare back down to her hips, he licks his lips as he looks at them and helps her glide her body against his. “My god,” he all but moans, watching her boobs jiggle as she starts to really ride him.
“You’re so deep,” she moans, tossing her head back again to free up her neck, he pulls her in and kisses her from her shoulder up to her ear, lighting sucking at her earlobe, he brings his hand up to cup her cheek and ends up gripping her hair at the nape of her neck and pulling her to the side so he can messily smother her in kisses. “No marks, I have teenagers to teach, ‘member? They’re fucking ruthless.”
“Mhm,” he mumbles, too into it to really care, his other hand reaches down to thumb at her clit, he’s getting close and she wants to finish with him.
He finally does cup her face with the hand that was just in her hair, he caresses her cheek with his thumb, pulling her back in for a kiss that’s all tongue. She moans into his mouth, running her hands down his chest, she uses his as leverage to keep pushing back before grinding down on him, he’s right against her g-spot and so fucking deep she can feel him everywhere, “Spence,” she whines, pulling back from the kiss, “are you close?”
“Uh-huh,” he pulls her back in, kissing her deeper, he wraps both his arms around her back and lifts her up, laying her back against the bed and slams his hips into hers over and over.
Her back arches again and she opens her mouth in a silent moan, it’s so good she can barely breathe. She reaches out for him, gripping his biceps, he attacks her neck again, covering her in sloppy kisses and hot breath. His pelvic bone grinds against her clit, again and again, bringing her right to the edge again until she finally peaks, moaning, she arches her back as her orgasm rushes through her but he doesn’t stop. He fucks her through it, chasing his own high.
“Fuck, I love you, I love you so much,” he mumbles, through his last few thrusts, and then he stills with a groan, filling the condom, he drops down against her.
they’re a ball of limbs, holding each other so close she doesn’t know where she ends and he begins. He buries his face in her neck, still kissing her, she holds him tighter, “I love you so much, too, Spencer.”
taglist:
@reidsbookclub @samuel-de-champagne-problems @superskittles @thedancingcostumeyoungadult @midnightreids @ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129
#Spencer reid#Spencer reid smut#Spencer reid fanfiction#Spencer reid fanfic#Spencer reid imagine#Spencer reid x reader#Spencer reid x y/n#Spencer reid x you#Spencer reid self insert#Spencer reid request#criminal minds smut#criminal minds imagine
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i hope this hasn't been asked before. what size do you make your canvas? and do you crop it to fit other socials (like Instagram for example)? i hear that 300 dpi is standard. i never know if it's good to make my canvas big or not.
hi i think this ask is like at least 4 months old but i was scanning my sketchbooks from last year and i abruptly remembered i had gotten this ask because i had made a little chart in my sketchbook trying to figure out how to answer it
anyways theres pros and cons. and the size of your canvas is really going to depend on personal needs + preference. how good ur computer is, how complicated ur art style, how comfortable drawing feels, how much disk space you have to spare, what youre gonna end up using the art for in the end...300dpi is standard for PRINTING specifically, if you only plan to ever post things online then 72dpi works great and will save you space (fun fact a lot of professional animation files i deal with are 72dpi. and those eventually go on your tv screen). but personally i make everything i draw 300dpi because i am always printing stuff for cons, zines, etc and its nice to have the option even if i dont end up printing.
when I was a teen I used to draw on a rly shitty laptop and i made everything 800x800px 300dpi because big canvases would cause a lot of lag and also the resolution on this laptop was pretty small so 800px was a lot of the screen already. now i have a slightly better laptop with a bigger resolution and i sketch on giant 10000px-40000px canvases with the hard round brush and no shape dynamics or transfer whatsoever to minimize lag. when it comes to making a final illustration when i know ill be using a bunch of layer effects/blending modes/colors/mixing brushes etc etc ill generally crop the canvas down to the 6000px range. most illustrations i try to make sure are comfortably printable on tabloid size paper so thats pretty much anything hovering around or above 3000x5000px w 300dpi (so 11x17in). HOPE THIS HELPS?
EDIT: OH ALSO re: socials. i always ALWAYS size down my art to post on the internet. i think its crazy when other artists dont. because why would i ever let the internet have my hi-res file for free. also in general i think it looks better if you do the resizing yourself because if you don't then many social media sites will compress your file for you! a lot of people will post a hi-res file to twitter and then go "Wow twitter killed the quality of this img!!!" UH YEAH because they have an automatic image compressor. because they need to save space too lol and they dont want your image to take 248263895 years to load. same with instagram and to a lesser extent tumblr. when i post anything on social media i resize it down to 1200px-1600px on the longest side... its a little arbitrary but im kind of basing it on the smallest resolution of widely available screens. mostly because i think it looks stupid when u open up an image file fullsize and u have to scroll to see the whole thing... also iirc instagram only takes images up to 1080px before it resizes them? granted if you upload something smaller than that itll also resize it up which will look worse so I think bumping the numbers just over 1080px is pretty safe.
I should really be bringing the dpi down to 72 too when i post online but often im too lazy to do that. but it will technically help ur image load faster and stuff. and make it less likely for people to yoink it off the web and print it themselves.
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This took over 20 hours to make I'm deceased... I'm glad it's done I need a break lol
Close ups on the pins under the cut!! (And some extra little notes for fun)
The formatting and graphic design could be better but, again, I just want to be done 😭 so ummm oops sorry !!
Yay yum yayaya art woooo yes !!!
More notes for fun !!
- when I say "loves animals (... not many, but still)" it means he can, has, and WILL burn squirrels alive for free entertainment, as well as shooting animals for fun... but he would also cry and feel awful if he stepped on a dog's foot... he's got favorites, basically, and does NOT hide it
- sun freckles, because why not
- kinda a dirty kid... literally the definition of "boys will be boys 🤪" where he's just always getting into the weirdest shit. You take your eyes off him for 1 second and he returns with mud all over himself and probably has a cat or something and just has the dumbest smile on his face !!! Idiot kid love him tho
- I added a gir pin because I love gir and for fun, doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense.... just roll with it !!
- made him Trans bc psychonauts as a whole is a trans allegory in my mind so, it made sense !! And because he's... 10 he hasn't done anything medical yet, just socially transitioned !! (Adding this point because some people see that and think the wrong things, like those ppl who think 4 year Olds are getting surgery and forcefully getting hormones jabbed into them. NO that's not happening)
- if he was a 2000s kid he'd like a lot of different things, like Mario and sonic games, and certain TV shows and movies (like invader zim, pokemon shows/movies, Disney stuff etc. Just general kids stuff yk?)
- sasha gave him coffee once.... he then proceeded to ramble about random things for hours while he tried to help work on things. So, he was able to focus better but won't shut UP (I'm projecting)
- he enjoys media that reminds him of himself, which is the "odd man out" type stuff, it helps him feel better about feeling like he doesn't belong bc he knows he isn't alone. It's sad but it helps him idk!!
OKAY IM DONE (for now) but yippee wow isn't that cool !!! I'm curious what yall think so lmk if u wanna !! I love hearing what Y'all think of my stuff, and I might post more headcanon type stuff later on if that's something ur interested in, honestly just send me an ask if u wanna know my hc for specific characters!!
OKAY goodbye drink water 💖
#psychonauts#my art#fanart#psychonauts fanart#razputin aquato#psychonauts 2#psychonauts razputin#fan ref sheet#psychonauts fan ref
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Milly from TriGun : Emma
My first con was in Baltimore for Otakon 2001. Pre 9/11! I originally wanted to attend a con either out in Colorado or Texas, but I was the only one in my circle of friends in New Mexico who had a part time job, so there was no one I could travel with.
I cosplayed as Milly from Trigun and you can actually find photos of me from old internet archive pages because Trigun was at the high of popularity. I originally made Milly for a Halloween costume, so when I showed it to my online friend in the Trigun mIRC chat a photo of me in cosplay, she insisted I come to Otakon the following year and join her Trigun group.
Unlike a lot of early 90’s/00’s cosplayers, I didn’t have anyone who’d taught me how to sew. So Milly was entirely bought from a trip to the Goodwill. I bought brown pants, a duster, a red tie and yellow suspenders. I remember feeling so proud to find yellow suspenders because in the anime her suspenders are yellow. I was like “wow! I’m so canon compliant. I’m a cosplay pro!”. She has a little green cap and I went to Joanns, bought some fabric and just cut it out and hand stitched it and safety pinned it to the duster. Current me would have been shocked at a lack of surging or a mockup or putting snaps in to make sure the cape stayed on, but it was the wild west back then for when it came to cosplaying.
At Otakon I had my half-assed Goodwill costume, but everyone loved it, I got so many photos and so many hugs. It was a rush of validation I’d never felt, I was this weird 17 year old living in New Mexico where I had very few friends who liked anime, so going to a con with so many people who knew Trigun and loved my costume was incredible. It made me want to keep cosplaying,
The Trigun fandom at the time was pretty big. There wasn’t social media the way there is now, but there was a decent community. I think the anime sensibilities mixed with a very western setting was a huge draw to the western ‘otaku’ culture at the time. Vash also had such an iconic look.
A lot of Otakon 2001 was just people being excited to see other members of the Trigun community and get to connect and talk about the show, it’s one of the things I really enjoyed about cosplay back then. It felt easy to strike up a conversation with someone about the character you or they were dressed as and make a new friend. I’m actually still friends with a Wolfwood cosplayer from back then!
You probably hear this a lot when you talk to older cosplayers, but while I’m happy cosplay has become more popular, it makes me sad there’s less of a focus on learning to sew and learn skills and more of a focus on buying a costume online and posting a photo of it on social media for as many clicks possible. I made Milly from pieces at The Goodwill with so few photos remaining of her and she was probably the most attention I’ve gotten from a cosplay. For young people reading this, don’t be afraid to learn to sew. Don’t be afraid to not have a perfect costume, there’s skills even I’m still learning and I find the building of the costume just as rewarding as wearing it or any attention I get on it.
Over 20 years later I’m still cosplaying. I literally have half of a Genshin impact cosplay in my lap I’m working on as I type this. I’m actually waiting for the next season of Trigun Stampede because I’d love to come full circle and make Milly again with my now 20 years of skills as a cosplayer.
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I guess while I am rambling about Promare, here is some analysis I made regarding Lio in October.
Text vers under cut
in regards to promare stuff, I was editing the wiki page for the one burnish prison and kinda thought about how lio reacts to thyma waking up like the instant meis points it out, he hurries to her side and crouches next to her
like that tells me that lio is such a caring person cause he sees this poor woman and immediately hurries to comfort her
at this point, he doesn't even know her name. it's a similar thing with the kids where the instant he sees them, he is shocked at the implications of that and stops being annoyed at the guards
lio is so kind when he wants to be. it's just he doesn't show it that much cause how much he gets beaten up in the film and doesn't fully open up to Galo until the lio de galon fightlike he gathered all these burnish and made a little hideout for them to feel safe, he gets groceries himself for them, he plays with the kids in the art book. he is such a good leader figureik the kakusei scene everyone tends to focus on, but there's a lot of little details on how he treats the burnish that is filled with such love and kindnessobvs im not saying he's a big softie. it's more that so much of the film and outside media give these little bits of humanity he has
it's so nice to see these little details when he isn't doing his cold exterior cause he trusts the burnish fully, which is what gets him betrayed by the old man
plus after the cave scene, there's a bit where lio is leaning against the window in a truck in thought
the implication there is that he is thinking about what Galo said before about just fitting him. it could be that he tried before, or at least considered it, but knows it didn't work out that or it's a case of recalling that Galo attempted to save Thyma and Lio thinking 'hm, maybe he isn't as bad as i thought'
obvs we don't know the specific thoughts, but we know that something that Galo did has him contemplating to himself
he's also shown to be upset after trying to save Thyma. the other burnish are happy, thinking she is safe, but lio is upset likely knowing it wasn't enough
it's fun to look at these details and kinda see the gears ticking in his head cause unlike Galo, he doesn't always say what he's thinking cause he keeps to himself
people think the only way lio can be interesting if he's pissed all the time. in truth though, Lio is clever, passionate, caring, and emotive (maybe even moreso than Galo in some cases)
underneath his cold facade
the thing is Lio is only now letting himself get emotional
and it's likely thanks to the cave scene cause that scene had him open up to galo, someone non burnish for once and galo actually listened
galo willingly wanted to help save thyma knowing she's burnish
lio doesn't know that he went to confront Kray from what i recall, but he began to trust Galo so much that he's willing to protect him from kray
he is devastated when he thinks Kray managed to kill galo
i think it's so weird no one points that out
cause galo opened his eyes to letting himself be him, to take pride in himself, only to see him be flung off a mech and be shocked knowing he's likely next
like we know Galo will be fine, but lio doesn't
know if his flames were enough to protect him also like. lio also heard that kray tried to kill galo multiple times and also killed his family. he was in that scene too fjfjfn
like he heard kray rambling and was like 'wow i really hate this fucker even more'
like his story is about finding acceptance in those who care about you and letting yourself be true to yourself in a world that hates you no wonder i found out i was bi and trans because of him
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Okay so I fucked up with the original post as it wouldn’t let me edit it from drafts after putting a video in there, so I had to start from scratch. So this was the ask, thank you @practically-an-x-man !
Oh wow this is quite a lot to get through! Alrighty let's get going.
Alexander Summers:
First impression:
l'm just going to talk about movie Alex, because I have other thoughts on comic Alex. I knew Lucas Till from other things like Hannah Montana and the YBWM music video, and also because after the drama with Ezra Miller everyone wanted LT to play the new movie flash, so I remember recognising this face when I first watched FC and thinking "oh yeah he's cute", and I liked his whole broody demeanour, but like, that was it. He became an honorary fave just because I knew he was around the mansion when Peter would've been young, so he was in a lot of the 'Cherik raise Peter' fics.
Impression now:
Jamie will tell you that I always develop a love for the more 'obscure’ characters in media, the smaller amount of screen time, the more likely I am to become obsessed. And so when I went back to rewatch the movies I was just pulled in when it came to Alex. I thought he was so interesting with soooo much potential, his dark but almost juvenile demeanour was like a hook, and I loooove his relationship with Charles. It's also amazing to get to experience a movie you love with a new found appreciation for a certain character because you notice so many new things. Every acting choice LT made for this role l've picked up on now, not to sound dramatic but every little detail helps fuel how I see Alex as a character/person, which is someone with so much complexity and depth.
Favourite moment:
Pretty much all of his scenes in Apocalypse, except his death. Even though I prefer FC, I love seeing how much he's grown and how much he's improved just in general. It's so lovely. But also this one specific deleted scene from FC that gives me all the feels,
Idea for a story:
I have a lot of ideas for Alex in the works, they're mainly on hold just because I went to uni this past September so l've been taking a fanfiction writing/reading break. My current main fic that l'm working on (that Jamie will be happy about), is Alex meeting and bonding with six/seven year old Scott after Vietnam. You'll know because you've read my fic but I picture Alex's relationship to be very strained with his parents, but he's making an effort because he's like, 89% sure Scott's going to be a mutant and he doesn't want him to have to deal with the same reactions he got all by himself.
I also have ideas around an OC of mine but I don't tend to talk about my OCs very much.
Unpopular opinion:
Hmm. The Alex fandom is very small so I don't think there are many 'unpopular' opinions. If we circle back to comic Alex, l'm not really a big fan of any of his romantic relationships. I like the characters respectively, I just don't tend to like them together.
Also I just prefer Alex to Scott, which isn't unpopular but it'll piss Jamie juice off :)
Favourite relationship:
Love love love looooove his platonic mentor-student relationship with Charles.
Favourite Headcanon:
Love the idea of Alex picking up on Charles’ British slang while living at the mansion between FC and DoFP. He wouldn’t say them in a British accent, but he’d say things like jacket potato, not baked potato (the second chapter of that fic will be dropping soon), and football instead of soccer, and I feel like Charles would really appreciate it because it would be something Raven used to do. Although I see her doing it in more of a teasing way compared to Alex, Alex is just adapting to his surroundings.
Hank McCoy:
First impression:
I remember quite liking Hank when I first watched FC, I don’t think I had a huge opinion on him but I did enjoy his presence. I liked his bashful relationship with Raven and I think Nicholas Hoult played the character well. He was like in between Alex and then Cherik and Peter for me, I cared about his presence because he was often involved with my top three, but he wasn’t obscure enough for me to develop a proper obsession with.
Impression now:
Kind of the same to be honest, if anything I think I may have gone off him a little bit. Not because of anything huge, but the way he is with Raven in that one scene in FC irks me a little. I do understand his reasoning, as someone with a physical ‘deformity’, I’d do anything to fix it, but I’m also like dude don’t tell this girl she’s not naturally gorgeous-. But overall I do still like him, and I did like his ending in DP too. (Even though I don’t like DP.)
Favourite moment:
Either when he and Logan are fighting in the foyer in DoFP or just his involvement with the montage in FC. Him being like “am I still a bozo?” to Alex, like bro what do you think the obnoxious little blond is gonna say-.
Idea for a story:
I like the idea of potentially writing a small oneshot about Alex and Hank having a conversation, maybe just before Alex leaves for Vietnam. I feel like it’s the only time they’d ever have a vulnerably emotional moment together. Alex wouldn’t admit to Charles he’s worried about going, and Hank would’ve picked up on enough of Alex’s social behaviours to realise it.
Unpopular opinion:
Not sure if this is unpopular but I don’t really ship him endgame with Raven. I ship them as a midgame, but if she had lived in the new timeline I don’t think they would’ve lasted, I think they’re a classic case of right person, wrong time. They were at totally different stages of life.
Favourite relationship:
Love his annoying brotherly relationship with Alex, and his mentor relationship with Charles.
Favourite headcanon:
Sean was the one who got Hank to smoke his first joint, and Hank was so concerned about what it would do to his brain/mutation that he caved and told Charles, as if they aren’t all adults who can make their own informed decisions. I don’t like reducing characters to a caricature, but the idea of Hank shyly telling Charles he’s stoned and has some minor concerns is so funny to me.
Patricia Thornton:
First impression:
In typical Summer fashion, Thornton wasn’t a favourite when I started MacGyver, that was solely Mac and Jack. I just thought she was pretty and badass, and I really enjoyed her banter with Jack. That was kind of all I thought on her.
Impression now:
I. Love. Her. Literally she is such an icon. I came to appreciate her pretty quickly because I binged a lot of MacGyver while I was recovering from my hip surgery, and then when I found out about the traitor storyline I was devastated. I love her snark, her facial expressions, how much of an amazing spy she actually was? I still love her relationship with Jack but I’ve also come to appreciate how she was with Mac and Riley. She wasn’t a helicopter boss/parent, but it’s so clear that beneath the sternness and consistent annoyance, she loved those brats so much.
Favourite moment:
During the Christmas episode, at the end, she’s talking to Mac by the Christmas tree and it’s a clear moment of how she wasn’t just the boss of this team, she was also a friend. She kisses Jack’s cheek, she lets Bozer touch her, she and Mac talk about Christmas gifts, I love it. (I also love her in the fourth episode of season one where she’s beating the shit out of people.
Idea for a story:
I want to write more of her and Mac, I like the idea of her going to see him in the hospital after the incident in S1E1, but he’s at a generic hospital in Italy, and when she and Jack arrive the doctors are like “are you guys family to the patient? 🤔” and they’re like “uh…”. And Jack is like “oh yeah, we’re his aunt and uncle, this is my wife” on a whim and Thornton looks at him like she’s going to take off her shoe and shove the heel up his nose.
Unpopular opinion:
She’s better than Matty. That’s ragingly unpopular but to me she just is, I prefer her dynamic with everyone compared Matty’s character to dynamic with them. And there’s no problem with Matty, I just haven’t warmed to her, like at all. I don’t find banter in her sternness, whereas with Thornton it was more of an exasperation.
Favourite relationship:
I love all of her relationships with the main team, Mac’s is probably my favourite, but I do love how she is with Riley, and Bozer. They’re like her exhausting children and she’s just DONE. And of course her love-hate relationship with Jack is top notch.
Favourite headcanon:
I’ve never talked about this before but I have this deep rooted lore idea that Thornton had a lung transplant as a child. There’s even more lore behind why but I won’t bore you with that, but anyways I have this hc that while on a mission with Jack when they’re first working together, he finds her immunosuppressants in her backpack, and because she hasn’t declared them to anyone on the team, except Oversight ofc, as nobody knows about her lungs, Jack’s first thought is “…she’s dealing drugs.” And confronts her about it, and she’s just like “😒”.
After that, only Jack knows about it, and I like to think that while she’s in prison, he goes to see her and even though he’s mad because he thinks she’s a traitor, he’s still like “they’re giving you your pills for your lungs right?”
Warren Worthington III:
First impression:
I don’t really remember my first impression of Warren. I remember in TLS, when we see him trying to cut out his wings, my first thought was “WOAH IM UNCOMFY”, but overall I think for me he was just sort of…there?
Impression now:
I like him a lot more in TLS than I do in Apocalypse, in Apocalypse I find him a bit obnoxious, but I like the complexities of his situation in TLS, as much as I don’t like the movie itself. I think it’s really interesting to see his development throughout that movie considering he has such little screen time.
Favourite moment:
I do actually quite like the scene where he flies away from his father before he’s forced to have the mutation cure. Very powerful and I think the actor did a nice job.
Idea for a story:
I don’t have one off the top of my head but I like the idea of something to do with he and Alex talking, for my universe they both have somewhat ‘unsupportive’ parents, so that could be an interesting exploration.
Unpopular opinion:
I can’t say I have one because I don’t know the character well enough. Maybe that he kind of annoyed me in Apocalypse? Like I get why he was the way he was, I just didn’t feel emotionally connected to him. I wish they could’ve fleshed it out a little bit more.
Favourite relationship:
I have no idea.
Favourite headcanon:
Again, not really any idea cause I don’t know enough about him, but I’d love to hear a few of yours sometime.
#ask summer#the moots 💛#pax 🧬#x men#MacGyver#x men movies#Alex summers#havok#hank mccoy#beast#warren worthington iii#Angel#Patricia Thornton
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Wow, I didn't expect all the staff of the Hazbin Hotel, but thank you, it was interesting. Well, now I wonder how VVV will react to this, I think that even for them it will be too much, even for Valentino, and yes, I think that out of the three of them, Vox will be very shocked by this news
Anon I’m sorry for taking so long to get to this ask but here you go!!
How the vees react to finding out about rosecest / Percy
First of all a lot of my headcanons around the vees are highly influenced by @lunarbroadcast and her selfship with Vox, so you’ll be hearing a lot about her s/I Lyra
Vox
Oh boyyyy he’s pissed, not for any sort of moral reason but because he CANT EVEN HAVE HIS OWN FUCKING SCANDAL!! Of course that old prick has to ALSO be grooming some kid (part of him wonders if alastor is just doing it to compete with him but he’d never admit it)
As for how he found out, it was all thanks to Lyra. His little doll has been staying at the hotel for a while (think like Pentious in ep 2 but like,,,actually good at spying) so he basically got a front row seat for everything
Sure he’s shocked and everything, but what’s more important is making sure NOTHING gets out to the public. After all he has an appearance to maintain, gotta keep those investors happy! (he really doesn’t have time to get someone to clean up another bloody mess from Valentino)
Vox was already paranoid about his own less then savory action getting out, the reveal of Percy’s existence / rosecest makes that so much worse. Anyone starts posting rumors? they’re gone missing, a news team tries to look into it? well they’re not coming back for a while..
He can’t even use Percy’s existence or their relationship as blackmail, I mean he could but Vox isn’t stupid enough to risk getting alastor angry
ABSOLUTELY NONE of his employees is allowed to even bring it up, it’s simply safer like that. If some idiot does try and talk about it Vox will just hypnotize the fool back in line. Oh and a cut to their paychecks
Vox can hear the headlines if this were to get out to the media “overlord caught with underage child!” “The dark truth behind alastor” “the radio demon: predator or misguided father.” And is 100% convinced if alastor was found out then the media would turn to him next. So the two overlords are stuck in this weird relationship where both would do anything to keep the other’s secret safe but only because it benefits their own selfish needs
Valentino
He’s immediately interested in Percy.. after all a such naive little cutie is the perfect candidate for stardom and a deal
somehow he gets creepier then he already is.. absolutely no one wants these two to meet
The other two tried to keep it a secret from him for as long as possible, unfortunately he’s one nosy man and CANNOT stay out of any unfolding drama
His feelings about the relationship are probably the most “positive” out of any of the vees, except it’s in a “that’s hot, can I watch?” Way rather then actually accepting the relationship
He’s of course not stupid enough to risk getting torn apart by Alastor for trying anything, but god he wants to..
Vellvette
Being the newest and youngest vee, she’s frankly HORRIFIED by it
She doesn’t have the years of fear built up around alastor like the other two do, so she’s likely to actually go after alastor for his actions (which no matter what doesn’t end well for her)
Vellvette honestly feels really sorry for Percy, she hates seeing A LITERAL CHILD being trapped and abused like Percy is (she’d never admit it though) but Vox has caught her sobbing on more then one occasion
Girl needs to be physically held back from going after alastor personally once she finds out
#sorry this one is so short#I’m not the best with characterizing them yet#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel vox#vox#hazbin vox#valentino#hazbin hotel#hazbin vees#hazbin valentino#hazbin velvette#proship please interact#proship self ship#selfship proship#proshippers#proshippers please interact#proship selfship#proshipper#proshipping#💌
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i feel like i've had the "kids can handle dark topics in stories" conversation on three separate occasions in the past month, what's up with that??? my impression of children's/young teen literature is that it's always been SURPRISINGLY DARK and that it FUCKING SLAPS.
like yeah, my trump card is that i can answer almost every "but what about [HEAVY TOPIC]" with "Animorphs did that actually," which makes animorphs sound super edgy, but the thing is... it didn't feel edgy? it felt like a substantial adventure with drama, tension, goofs, stakes, and a vibrant cast of characters. it was one of the first book series i ever read, so there was nothing that tipped me off that This Series Is So Dark And Gruesome - and i think it's because it wasn't, comparatively. one of my other early reads was Deltora Quest, and like, what school library didn't have Goosebumps? i never got my hands on warrior cats, but like, that series is just one installation in a WHOLE GENRE - the silverwing trilogy, wings of fire, guardians of ga'hoole... groups of animals dealing with war and exile and battle and grief and ridiculously tragic backstories and whatever was going on in these series, ripe for self-insert characters and scenarios for play pretend during lunch break. even the HTTYD books, which are completely different from the movies - they look childish, especially with the illustrated charcoal drawings - hiccup gets captured as a slave at some point, and there's a dragon rebellion that seeks to eradicate all of humanity. it has a lot of goofy moments and some incredibly over-the-top villains, but it doesn't flinch from how gruesome it gets, either.
i think kids genuinely love this stuff!!! not all kids, sure, but i definitely did!!! like!!! have you SEEN the edgy OCs kids and teens will make? the finely crafted horrific backstories? you know how small kids have traditionally played with barbies, right, with beheadings and torture and shakespearean plots? how a lot of kids and teens sought out creepypastas???
i absolutely think it's much easier for BOOKS to go into dark topics than visual media, and i think that's why a lot of people don't realize how much is happening below the surface. we live in a post gravity falls world now, so cartoons for teens are finally allowed to be a little more twisted and "wow i can't believe they went there," but ALSO... from what i can remember from being a Child, the most scarring and horrifying moments in stories for kids were not the existential concept of "oh no you're ten years old and bad guys want to kill you!" but stuff like, the groke from the moomins cartoon, old puppet shows, moments that were viscerally horrifying without being gory in any way...
maybe you don't understand all the Complexities of Heavy Topics when you're nine. but some things will stick with you, and as you grow older and gain more context and knowledge about the world around you, i think those moments can become very valuable. i haven't read animorphs for almost two decades and so much of it has stayed with me. maybe i saw princess mononoke a bit earlier than i "should have," but to this day it's still one of my favourite movies of all time, and my understanding of it grows every time i rewatch it. i don't think it's possible for every story to handle every topic perfectly or even well, but it might still be worthwhile to have engaged with it. i mean, that's the Discourse, isn't it, stories tell you stuff and we can't control what other people take from it.
anyway yeah kids crave blood and carnage and we should give it to them sometimes
#for legal reasons the last sentence is intended in a humorous way#too long for twitter#obviously there's a difference in how kid's media is written and presented than like. game of thrones#... just remembered how i read the demonata in middle school and i was so so into it even though that's a gorefest and a half#ironically i can't read it anymore because my brain's more broken now (not demonata's fault)#i havent read the guardians of gahoole either but im ASSUMING they're similar to warrior cats in vibes#if the movie is anything to go by#IM PROBABLY PREACHING TO THE CHOIR AGAIN#im also saying all this as a person who does have several triggers when it comes to media#and if i read something that my brain is allergic to it WILL stay inside and torture me to the end of days so like. yea
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I’m so obsessed with your eldritch space fic, I just can’t get it out of my head! I swear I catch myself thinking about it at least once per day. It’s got me really wanting to finally get into sci-fi media again and I’m wondering if you happen to have any recommendations?
Oh wow.
Damn.
Okay well first of all, holy shit, thank you!
I knew BoSaS was well liked by a handful of people, but until now I didn't think anyone besides me belonged in the "thinks about it daily category" 😭💖
As for sci-fi recs... well this is going to be a bit scattershot.
I've honestly not really kept up with recent sci-fi due to over a decade of major depression and not having my shit together, and I'm not a huge fan of a lot of the sci-fi that comes out these days in visual media, so I'm trying to make some time to read some of the sci-fi stories of recent years, but again, that's a work in progress, so can't really rec much in that regard.
First things first though, if you like Beyond our Space and Starlight, I absolutely have to rec luminous beings by @daisychainsandbowties .
It's warrior nun, it's star wars, it's got the suffering and the crying and the patented Cas poetic beauty amid the despair. It's SO fucking good and if you've not read it (and its companion pieces in the same setting) you absolutely gotta.
And also before I go any further, shouting out the Bifrost Incident which @the-darkness-does-not-bargain so kindly introduced me to. (don't look up anything about it, just listen).
I assume that the main motivation behind you asking is something along the lines of "what kind of sci-fi was the inspiration behind this?" To which I'd have to say it's a mix that's a little eclectic and mainly old.
But let's talk about them because why not:
First off, the biggest influence is probably the original Star Wars trilogy, with dashes of the prequel trilogy.
I could write an essay about this, but I guess I could condense my opinion on Star Wars (and its relation to BoSaS) very simplified into something like: "Yes! You SHOULD bring swords and myth/magic into sci-fi... no, not quite like that!"
Rogue One brought it back and did it pretty well. (Only truly good recent Star Wars movie) I'd also draw from other sci-fi classics like the original Alien movies, the first two Terminators and Blade Runner.
Not to be all "the original is always better," but I feel like an issue with a lot of modern sci-fi is that the setting is too effaced, it lacks story and it's just a vehicle for spectacle. I like sci-fi stories where space is BIG and scary, and being on a ship surrounded by millions upon millions of miles of vacuum, utterly hostile to life? That should feel a little claustrophobic! Or at least occasionally unsettling.
If you hit the original movies, you're more likely to catch more of the vibe of the setting itself being an important character in the story, which to me is an essential aspect of my favourite kind of sci-fi content.
Okay this is getting long, let's go over the rest faster.
Ghost in the Shell
The original movie and the Stand Alone Complex (second season especially).
This is probably one of my biggest formative experiences on my "didn't realize they were trans at the time" adolescent brain.
High concept, transhumanism, guns, fast action, and enough of a spiritual/philosophical vibe to keep it from getting bland.
Then in a similar vein of physical dissociation and occasional body horror, but you want it to be even more fucked up?
Battle Angel Alita/Gunnm
The original run in particular. This along with Ghost in the Shell was what shaped my interest in sci-fi around my adolescence. I liked how both weren't afraid to introduce philosophical, almost spiritual and mythological elements to their futuristic stories.
Ghost in the Shell especially is like, the powers of mythical creatures, achieved through technology, and it leans into that and so you get an almost spiritual experience as an end result.
This story gets fucked up at times, but it's beautiful and heart wrenching all the same.
Prey
In contrast to my "watch the originals" statement of earlier, this is a recent predator movie that's actually good.
Thorgal
Okay this one isn't sci-fi, but I'm adding it to the list because this takes my love of adding magical/fantasy elements to sci-fi, but from the other direction: a story of a viking outcast, featuring gods and mythical creatures, but ALSO sci-fi elements as the lead character is of a race of spacefaring human(oids?)
Again, the first 20-odd books especially.
A powerhouse of the classic Franco-Belgian comics, nothing quite like it.
It's getting late and this is getting long, if any mutuals wanna tag on their recs for weird and not-so-weird sci-fi, please feel free.
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JSYK I'm with you on containment breaches. Tends to go hand in hand with girlfriend harassment too. Countdown to Rebecca's account going private in 3..2..1
I can't remember which post I left tags on about that but yeah the "corporatization" of any rpf always spells trouble. it's why I don't rb any of it from the main F1/Netflix/sports accounts. LN4 media doing it is I assume with Lando's OK but even there it's a bit... uncomfortable.
rest behind a cut so nothing goes into tags
(this is probably way more than you were asking for anon but apparently these text posts is what I do now)
look. carlando was my main ship when I got into F1 fandom and is going to stay in my top 3 forever. but I keep the lines drawn nice and sharp. I l-o-v-e shipping them but I'm also aware that they're literally big brother/little brother and that all of the physicality and closeness is identical to Charles with Arthur. that and the fact that Carlos is sahuuuuuper straight and folks just confuse euro dude behavior with friends for gayness. Carlos was the one who pushed for Lando to grow up and get a gf and Carlos himself was practically engaged for 6 or 7 years. his own sister gave Isa her wedding bouquet ffs. he's so confirmed heterosexual that he can't be alone for more than 2 seconds between girlfriends lol
but between McLaren content on social media getting absolutely bombarded with irrelevant carlando comments and the hate toward Rebecca ramping up every single damn day (I'd say it's a solid 80/20 mostly of rpf hate toward her and the remaining being plain old jealousy) idk it's not feeling good rn. and it's mostly on IG and a bit on YT (I don't use twitter) but yikes at how much Lando content has something about 'he's thinking about Carlos' or 'omg just like Carlos' or carlando when it's nothing to do with carlando. Lando works so incredibly hard at the two to three careers he's running consecutively and it feels pretty damn insulting to reduce him to one F1 friend - however close they are. Carlos has nothing to do with Quadrant or Lando's YT work or his own sponsorship work. that's Lando doing all of that.
that and when the Today show interviewer pushed the "bromance" angle you could see Lando get kind of fed up (which they tried to edit out) and steer the question back around to actual racing. tbh he even seemed a little icked by DTS making such a big deal about carlando and he and Max joked it off.
even through my Singapore euphoria I could tell Carlos and Lando were walking media ppl back from going too literal with the DRS and saying no, it was advantageous for Carlos and yes, Lando absolutely would've overtaken him if he could have gotten the win for himself. I've actually really respected Lando reminding people that they're not in these rarefied positions to do anything other than try to win or as close to it as possible. they're not making millions and living the high life just to throw race results in the air and play favorites with their friends !!??
and this whole "competition" between carlando and dando/charlos/landoscar/whatever is absolutely not making it's way onto my blog lol. I do know that a lot of people in tumblr are just joking when they do that and I think the 'angst' posts are funny but wow IG and YT are not playing around. they're making videos trying to like disprove other Lando ships and it's ??? (funniest one is the Vegas opening ceremony thing and fighting over who Lando was waving to, Daniel or Carlos) these dudes are absolutely not having real life in-fighting about which of their friends they like "better" or who is their bestest friend. (especially when Lando in the same interview as above stated that F1 drivers - Carlos included - are not his actual private life friends so uh oh how does that play into the competition?? it's so absurd)
I'm not a wives and girlfriends obsessive but I absolutely I am not here for them receiving anything negative from F1 fans unless they themselves have instances truly, openly as problematic as the drivers often are. even then I'm wary bc the sexism motive and double standards run so deep in fandom against women. Rebecca has done nothing but exist as Carlos' gf and it's just a sea of "there's something fake about her" and "body experts" claiming the relationship is fake and that she's "obviously a beard" while he's actually with Lando. that last part craaaaacks me tf up because these men travel to Middle Eastern countries where homosexuality has the death penalty or prison.......... they are NOT gonna be out here referring to themselves publicly as a bromance and their ship name if they're trying to keep this huge gay secret while they tour maximum home o'fobic countries???
I have a few extra thoughts about why folks have especially latched onto being proprietary about which men Lando is closest to or "should be with" when it comes to rpf but I feel like we all kinda know why. I'm over here writing pages of text about him which is lame in it's own way - but even I acknowledge that his greatest attraction as a person is himself and not his relationships to other people. it's why he's the sun that a lot of this content orbits around.
I'm also genuinely glad that Lily's existence and Oscar's quiet but firm reminders of her arrived alongside the landoscar fandom happening. I don't personally see any hate toward her and no one's in denial. even the rare fic that has him and Lily fictionally break up is fully fair to her. I've also posted a lot about how I genuinely love real life Lando and Oscar interaction even more than the rpf (and I love the rpf lol) and honestly the feeling seems shared with a lot of us from what I've seen. so especially if Lily uses her engineering degree to start working in F1 it's good to know that she won't have to deal with crazed conspiracy theories about her being an F1 industry plant to keep Oscar's dick out of Lando's hole or whatever.
for anyone who's read this far or skipped to the end tldr I'm always going to ship carlando and landoscar (and even dando) as well as charlos. but as a carlando shipper I really hope the commodification of it dies down before it truly starts to piss off Lando or Carlos. or Carlos has to put his foot down like Lando did and say hey, stop harassing my girlfriend it's weird.
shit's just been feeling very 'forced' lately to the point of imploding and I'm uncomfy :/
#been sitting on this a couple days to try and bury it lol#I hope I made myself clear#it's also why I chuckled at the homophobic outraged anon I got a while back bc they were so far off the mark#mine#//wank adjacent ig#inchreplies
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So, idk how new or old you are to F1, but I am Pretty Old. And so I remember what it was like Before Daniel. Mark used to talk a lot about how much work the Australian race was for him. And when little baby Daniel arrived, he talked about how good it was to have another Australian driver to share the load with. Time moved on and things are different now. But I also remember how tired Daniel looked on race day in 2019. And how in 2020, Daniel openly admitted to cutting back his commitments before Melbourne because it was too much to handle alone. And now in the circular way that this trio seem intrinsically bound to one another, it's Oscar's turn to start taking more of the load from Daniel. And while I'm sure Daniel has some mixed feelings about this obvious signal that the end is drawing nearer, I'm sure he's just as happy as Mark was. (please excuse me i'm off to have yet more Feelings about the way Mark, Daniel and Oscar are so tightly woven together)
Okay wow yeah I did not know that. I just joined F1 last year so I’m still learning the lore, but that makes sense considering how much pressure is to be the only driver at your home race. It makes sense that the younger one usually takes the brunt of media duties bc they have more energy and are still running on that excitement of repping their country in F1. Though learning this makes me worried for some of the other drivers that have a bunch of pressure being at home.
#like ik max has said zandvoort pressure is different than any other pressure#i’m thinking charles and logan won’t have it as bad as the aussies bc#EVERY driver does a bunch of stuff for monaco and EVERY driver does a bunch of stuff for the american races#but alex did say last year how exhausting it was having five ‘home’ grand prixs#silverstone miami singapore cota and las vegas#but yeah thanks for reaching out anon#anon ask
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2022 SUMMARY OF ART!!!!
JAN/FEB
it was a really slow start this year... in january i didnt actually finish anything, all i have to show for that period is a single flight rising drawing -- i had another one, but it's now Lost Media (sadly) from when i got my new PC.
(more recounting under da cut! i've included a lot of unposted/unfinished sketches down here!)
MARCH
march was a lot of desperate attempts to get back into drawing by sketching out little character designs i never posted, mostly wizards. that wizard right there is my favourite of the bunch. Fantastic energy from this creature.
APRIL
april is when i started getting into working on Gnome Lore that i have on my site, gnomes.neocities.org! gnomes are my special interest so the enthusiasm of learning about gnome mythology/history, and my own ideas for gnomes, actually got me COLOURING PIECES. incredible feeling.
this was the back end of my flight rising fixation, and included a few humanised sketches of my dragons Mirth and Gerana, pictured above. i was also getting really into WoW again at this time, so there were plenty of little wow-inspired sketches. + a bonus Jurgen from sam and max in the bottom left!
MAY
the gnoments (gnome moments) carried on into the month of may as i designed other known mythological creatures. i also rehashed a beloved old DnD gnome OC called April and included her in that lore. love that lil gal.
during this month i got really into working on my neocities page, and so a lot of art i did was assets for that. you can see a majority of my May drawings over there on the lore page. :-)
JUNE
june was a month of OC swag for me. i was totally inspired in the month leading up to ArtFight and put my heart into character design! from this beautiful month i got one of my new favourite pieces, shown there, of my ocs ZAP! APPLE and STEP KID. they're inspired by the band The Avalanches, specifically the album Wildflower. during this month i also created some of my newest and favourite OCs such as RANBOLIN, Beanie Boy, and Professor PJ!
during this i also did some new art for characters like irene, nadia, and D.A. Private Eye. i think a vast majority of this can be found in my "ocs" tag...
JULY
and here it comes.... my traditional Best Month for art. i was popping off HARD this month even though i didn't do as much as last time. i am SO happy with everythign that came out of this year's artfight, deeply. here are some of my favourite pieces from that period:
i was really into one-layer drawings this year. these were all done on two layers MAX, with the binary brush on sai. it really pushed me to be creative with my colours and detailing, and it's become one of my favourite ways to draw.
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED. that the art for july features a certain Recurring Character. this is because in the month or so prior i had begun rewatching Naruto with my brothers. although the full-force naruto hyperfixation didn't settle in until months later this was the beginning of it. Rotating gaara in my mind always.
AUGUST
hmm... august got quite slow again. i might have been burnt out from going so hard in the other couple months. i have a few odd doodles from that month aside from the birthday gift to @l0gitex you see there, including THESE:
i also started developing a naruto OC when some brainrot started to settle in. their name is kodama, after the tree spirits. i wanted them to be from konoha, you know, to match -- originally i wanted them to have that wood type stuff, but recently i've been thinking that something to do with funghi and mycelium networks might be really interesting, especially due to their connection with trees, and how kodama live inside trees. these were some outfit concepts but i think i'll change their colour palette to match konoha more. more blues and browns i think.
SEPTEMBER
the dawn of my BRIEF SPLATOON ERA! i haven't played since that month LMAOOOOO! anyways, i drew a few splatoon-related pictures in that time.
birth of Blupi. as well as this September is the beautiful month in which i began to learn using Blender. here's a little ref drawing for the gaara model! (why do i keep doing stuff with gaara?????):
i was so proud of how that model came out. i had some other models of OCs like tomato cloun and one of ranbolin i never finished rigging (i hate weight painting so much oh my god-)
OCTOBER
man i wish halloween was like, anything here. during this month i started working again on my gnomes page so there were some more little designs done, visible on the lore page! specifically, the boggart and warren gnome were from October, as well as Awesome Rando.
NOVEMBER
november was kind of an epic month for my OCs, actually! alongside my interest in naruto REALLY starting to fire up again i was redrawing and bringing back older OCs as well as bringing in beloved Clary! here are Ranbolin and Dee as well. <3 let's go girls
beyond this the naruto brainrot had really settled in. so i began drawing my favourite characters: you know who. happy birthday Rock Lee!
DECEMBER
OHHHHHHHH HERE WE GOOOOOOOOO!!!! DEPTHS OF HYPERFIXATION STRIKE!! i know i've posted a lot of art lately, and i'm so excited that i have -- i didn't know if i'd ever get this stoked again since earlier in the summer but i am so INTO IT RN!!!!!
check out this hinata wip:
awesome thing about being fixated is i tend to finish a lot more of my drawings, it really carries my enthusiasm. so i'm hoping to have this picture finished soon! if not, many more will be finished in its place.
man if you read all of this ur a real one, thank you so much. i'm so excited to see what comes in art for 2023!!!!! MY wicked hands will concoct such bountiful imagery. I can feel it
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Emma (Atlanta, GA)
My first con was in Baltimore for Otakon 2001. Pre 9/11! I originally wanted to attend a con either out in Colorado or Texas, but I was the only one in my circle of friends in New Mexico who had a part time job, so there was no one I could travel with.
I cosplayed as Milly from Trigun and you can actually find photos of me from old internet archive pages because Trigun was at the high of popularity. I originally made Milly for a Halloween costume, so when I showed it to my online friend in the Trigun mIRC chat a photo of me in cosplay, she insisted I come to Otakon the following year and join her Trigun group.
Unlike a lot of early 90’s/00’s cosplayers, I didn’t have anyone who’d taught me how to sew. So Milly was entirely bought from a trip to the Goodwill. I bought brown pants, a duster, a red tie and yellow suspenders. I remember feeling so proud to find yellow suspenders because in the anime her suspenders are yellow. I was like “wow! I’m so canon compliant. I’m a cosplay pro!”. She has a little green cap and I went to Joanns, bought some fabric and just cut it out and hand stitched it and safety pinned it to the duster. Current me would have been shocked at a lack of surging or a mockup or putting snaps in to make sure the cape stayed on, but it was the wild west back then for when it came to cosplaying.
At Otakon I had my half-assed Goodwill costume, but everyone loved it, I got so many photos and so many hugs. It was a rush of validation I’d never felt, I was this weird 17 year old living in New Mexico where I had very few friends who liked anime, so going to a con with so many people who knew Trigun and loved my costume was incredible. It made me want to keep cosplaying,
The Trigun fandom at the time was pretty big. There wasn’t social media the way there is now, but there was a decent community. I think the anime sensibilities mixed with a very western setting was a huge draw to the western ‘otaku’ culture at the time. Vash also had such an iconic look.
A lot of Otakon 2001 was just people being excited to see other members of the Trigun community and get to connect and talk about the show, it’s one of the things I really enjoyed about cosplay back then. It felt easy to strike up a conversation with someone about the character you or they were dressed as and make a new friend. I’m actually still friends with a Wolfwood cosplayer from back then!
You probably hear this a lot when you talk to older cosplayers, but while I’m happy cosplay has become more popular, it makes me sad there’s less of a focus on learning to sew and learn skills and more of a focus on buying a costume online and posting a photo of it on social media for as many clicks possible. I made Milly from pieces at The Goodwill with so few photos remaining of her and she was probably the most attention I’ve gotten from a cosplay. For young people reading this, don’t be afraid to learn to sew. Don’t be afraid to not have a perfect costume, there’s skills even I’m still learning and I find the building of the costume just as rewarding as wearing it or any attention I get on it.
Over 20 years later I’m still cosplaying. I literally have half of a Genshin impact cosplay in my lap I’m working on as I type this. I’m actually waiting for the next season of Trigun Stampede because I’d love to come full circle and make Milly again with my now 20 years of skills as a cosplayer.
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If you are a cosplayer who started cosplaying between 1990 and 2005 and would like to share your story, contact me at [email protected]. Thank you.
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~ getting to know your BL mutuals ~
I was tagged by @leonpob so lessgo
I’ve been stressed about this for days cause I need to make the RIGHT choices?????!
rules: answer the questions and @ some people. include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answer.
what have been the BLs that took you by surprise this year?
I think I was the most surprised by Eternal Yesterday. I went into it expecting something more along the lines of Senpai, This Can't Be Love or Kabe Koji, which is kind of slapstick, lighthearted and not too intellectually challenging, but boy was I proven wrong. The show manages to take a ridiculous premise and turn it into a well-written, well acted story that is probably going to break my heart (at the moment the final episode is yet to air...)
what have been the BLs that you felt a bit a lot disappointed with this year?
Sing In Love.
I was excited about a grittier plot and a new Japanese production, but it just made me uncomfortable and I did not want to finish it.
Cherry Magic The Movie also felt like a letdown. It just bored me, honestly.
what has been your favorite BL this year?
omg i looked up a list to see which ones were from this year, and it was like 5 Japanese, 5 Korean, 5 Taiwanese and then 60 billion Thai😂
I think my favorites are Old Fashion Cupcake and Eternal Yesterday.
Old Fashion Cupcake is everything I wanted in a good drama; good pacing, relationships between characters that make sense, believable character behavior and good acting and also really hot actors.
Eternal Yesterday has just absolutely overwhelmed me. I am a sucker for melancholic stories (to the surprise of literally no one), and the way Japanese dramas manage to wrap up some quite profound thoughts about the world and what it means to be a human is something I really adore.
In Episode 6 when Koichi asks if it's impossible for the people you love to be tied in the same place; for two people to be equally important to and loved by you. Or Episode one, where Mitsuru says it's not that Koichi broke down his wall, but he opened a door through it.
I really thought about adding More Than Words to the list, but I feel like it shouldn't really be grouped into the BL-genre. I still feel like the frames of the genre are limiting many aspects of film-making and storytelling, and that it's more an LGBT+ story than a BL drama.
favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?
BounPrem and YinWar I think. Now that Prem has gone independent, I just want him to drag Boun with him to Yin and War to create a Supreme Company for Hot People™ and to actually make the YinWar Concert Trailers into a really hot show.
Especially War is an absolutely incredible actor, so I just really hope the two of them will get some interesting projects in the coming year!
what's your non-BL favorite this year?
Silent.
No doubt, no question. It's so good. Everyone and their grandmother should watch it pls.
.... Oh wow I am really biased, huh? 😬😬
I didn't intend for every show on here to be Japanese, I just think the Japanese shows I'm mentioning are a lot more well-rounded than the Korean and Thai and Taiwanese counterparts that I've seen this year. I am intrigued by how Korea seems to be branching out more and embracing the genre not as adaptations of fictional stories, but as stories about people. I just feel like the genre is so old in Japanese medias that they're a step ahead and I like how the Japanese shows are carried by the stories of the characters and their little lives rather than some large, daunting outer factor.
I want to tag a lot of people but I am an awkward turtle so I don't have a lot of people to tag. I hope it's ok to tag @storge and @chaeunwoo 🥺
#g2ky bl mutuals 2022#japanese bl#bl recommendations#lollipop talks to the void#yinwar#bounprem#eternal yesterday#more than words#old fashion cupcake
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Weverse/Vlive
So they’ve transferred all the old VLives to WeLive in preparation for Vlive to be dismantled. Also all the Run BTS episodes appear to be on Weverse Media now. Life goes on.
What a night, am I right? Wow. Got a little sleep today and realized we do this again next weekend for the Busan concert. I might need to take a day off and make it a 4-day weekend.
So here is the video of the guys after the live stream was cut, where they are congratulating others, taking pics with the MCs of the FACT Music award show, and being the last ones to leave the stage. Yes that’s Jimin and Jungkook on either side of the dude MC and they were hugging on him.
Didn’t our mens looked classy and sassy all evening? I am so proud of them. And then we got a little barrage of Weverse posts as some followed Jimin’s instructions and got on there right after they left the stage.
Tae:
Jimin:
Namjoon and Dory: “Thank you 💙”
And several hours later, Jungkook: “Ah, I should have Weversed, but I was so sleepy that I passed out... TT I was so so so so so happy to be able to see ARMYs yesterday. Then see you in Busan!!! 🖤”
And then I saw this...
I saw a lot of people being all “ooh, RM wants to feel us and touch us” and then he posts a bathtub pic... No, you’re not being cute. Y’all are too horny. Go get laid please. Don’t come back until you accomplish that mission.
And I’m not even gonna mention the other fandom being the totally brainless idiots they are.
Did I think Joon was being sexually suggestive when he said, “We love you, we’ve missed you, we wanna play with you, we wanna see you, we wanna touch you, we wanna feel you...” Only a moron who intentionally interprets that in an immature and juvenile manner would take it that way. He was delivering an acceptance speech from his heart. Not his dick.
Thoughtful people would know immediately he meant everything regarding interacting with Army and what we mean to them and they to us ... play with us = to have fun with us, to see us, touch our hearts, feel emotions (closeness) together. Thoughtful people understand how much they miss interacting with us during performances. It was heartfelt.
We joke that Army is more busy than ever since the hiatus/not a hiatus. Remember the members have told us repeatedly that they exist because of us, they do what they do because of us, when they talk about stuff it all revolves around Army. And we’re out here having the times of our lives with Me, Myself and Mr. Tailor of Chaos and the music collabs, and Run BTS. WE’VE HAD LOTS OF BTS TIME! We BRAG about how much THEY love US.
Well, THEY have had NO Army time except last night during that award show and now next week at the Busan concert. Then what? When will they get to see us again? They miss us. Why is Jimin all of a sudden King of WeLives? Because that’s the only way for him to connect with us in a meaningful, real-time way.
Anyway! Didn’t mean to go on a rant but sometimes people are just DUMB.
P.S. A “world fireworks festival” was happening at the same time as the award show. It was amazing.
#sorry for ranting at the end but ohmagah shut up#2022 FACT Music Awards#bts chapter 2#weverse live#armys spend half their life reporting bad behavior and the other half voting#just kidding but lowkey not#being army is worth every second
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Good morning Sflow :)
For the ask game I'd love to hear your thoughts about these two, if you feel like answering (no pressure though!):
🍭why did you start writing?
🌿how does creating make you feel?
Thank you. Wishing you a lovely day! <3
Good evening, friend 💛
I saved your ask for last because these are both really deep questions, and I've actually spent a lot of time reflecting on them today, especially the first one. So, exactly the kind I'd expect from you, and they deserve the kind of rambling personal answers you know to expect from me.
I'll put a cut here to make it easier for people to scroll on if they aren't interested, but of course anyone who is interested is welcome to read my answers!
🍭why did you start writing?
I guess the short answer is, as a creative outlet. But there is also a very long answer, as I've started writing several times over the course of my life.
On the first time, I started for my little brother. We played a lot of imagination games when we were kids, and I wanted to expand on those. We had an imaginary world with about two dozen characters but could only play a few of them at the same time, the stories were 'lost' when the game ended, and I had too many ideas anyway. So I started drawing and writing some of them down. This first phase went on from age 9 to 14 or so.
On the second time (overlapping the first), I started for narrative closure. A video game that I was completely obsessed with had a sad ending, so I wrote another. It was fun, so I went on to another story I wanted to continue, characters I wanted to expand on, and so on. I wrote most of these in my English notebook, for which I also got extra credit and feedback from my English teacher.
After a couple of years of just writing in my notebook, I discovered that I was doing a thing called fan fiction, and there were places to put it online. So I started doing that. Eventually, I got an original idea, and I wrote a story of about 50k and even started a sequel. This second phase lasted from age 13 to 19/20.
Then I started at uni. Life got in the way, and my creativity was gone. I never finished the sequel, and even when I eventually got obsessed with a new piece of media and tried to write something for it, I just couldn't get anything coherent down. I eventually took down all my old fics too, thinking that chapter of my life was closed for good. This phase lasted until I watched Young Royals at the age of 33.
On the third time, I started as an outlet for my suddenly reborn creativity - and my still very fragile ace identity. I found the rich world of YR incredibly inspiring and wanted to continue the story (as we didn't even know if there would be an S2). I also really wanted to contribute something to the fandom that was growing around it, but I didn't have the confidence or the ideas to focus on Wilmon.
Well, as luck would have it, there was a veritable blank slate of a minor character who would be perfect for a canon expansion and even gave me a vague ace vibe for some reason. And if I made him asexual, well, figuring out how he felt about various stuff would be a good excuse to work on myself on the side. I wasn't sure if I actually had the guts to make that part of his characterisation visible in the fic, and he'd have to be very different from me as I never liked self-inserts, but yeah. That could be interesting.
I'm still in this third phase, although the self-reflection has taken a backseat now.
🌿how does creating make you feel?
It's hard to describe. One part of it is just plain relief, because it gets to a point where you really just need an outlet for all the creative energy. One part is this huge sense of accomplishment and satisfaction over seeing the thing you imagined and planned come together. It was just something you cooked up in your head, and now it's out there, making sense. Or at least being its own aesthetic/artistic entity. Either way, you did it, wow.
And of course one part is the joy of knowing that people enjoyed something you made and/or it touched them. I had sort of forgotten about that while I wasn't writing, and I'm very grateful to have experienced it again.
Thank you again for these wonderful asks!
Ask list for reference.
#prompted personal disclosure#ask game#writing ask#fic writer asks#fic writing#scatteredpiecesofme#ace fic
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