#always happy to help while also learning more thai :)

[visualtaehyun]

Hi Bella, thank you for being so generous with your knowledge of Thai! I have a weird one for you, @outofthemouthsof posted this pull from a MDL comment: https://www.tumblr.com/outofthemouthsof/743952162955116544/gasp-sob-if-this-is-true-heretherebedork?source=share

And I've been trying to verify where X made that statement.

I found this twitter space post which is 45 mins long that seemed the best candidate (don't worry I'm not asking you to translate the whole thing) https://twitter.com/xiseks/status/1764219245951627501?t=DAHL6kSCSt3jbT2dblJqEA&s=19

And so I listened through to see if I could catch enough to hint at where it's being talked about. My Thai sucks but it sounded like potentially what they're talking about ~15 mins in might be it? Would you be willing to skip to that timestamp and confirm if this is (or isn't) where that was said?

Hello friend ✨

Thank you for linking the twt space and narrowing down the timestamp! I've gone and made a lil recording of the relevant part (15:26-16:16) and transcribed & translated it to the best of my ability. :)

I also made sure to cross-search some of my transcription on twt, just to be sure, considering I'm not a native speaker, and found that Thai fans posted about this part of the space as well. 🙏

ซีนที่คุณแม่การันต์ ตอนนั้นที่เราถ่าย เรื่องที่พูดเรื่องการสมรสเท่าเทียม เราถ่ายไว้ 2 แบบ เพราะตอนนั้นที่เราถ่าย เรายังไม่รู้ว่าความเคลื่อนไหวของสมรสเท่าเทียมมันไปถึงไหน The scene where Karan's mother- back when we were filming- about how she addressed marriage equality: we filmed 2 versions. Because when we were filming, we didn't know yet what point the marriage equality motion would have reached. แล้วก็พูด ให้พี่เปิ้ลที่รับบทเป็นแม่พูดความเป็นไปได้ด้วย 2 อย่างว่า ถึงวันให้เราออน สมรสเท่าเทียมมันจะเป็นยังไง And we said- we had Phi Ple who plays the mother say the possibility in two ways that, by the the time we'd be on air- What's [the state of] marriage equality like? ก็พูดแบบว่า ดีใจนะที่มาถึงวันนี่สักทีที่เราอย่างนี้ได้ กับ หวังว่าเร็ว ๆ นี้จะได้ทำเหมือนที่ทุก ๆ คนก็ทำกันได้นะ She said, like, "I'm glad that [we've] finally reached this day where we can have this" and "I hope that soon [they] will be able to do what everyone else can do together". ตอนนั้น ใจก็หวังว่าเราคงได้ใช้เวอร์ชันว่า ดีใจที่มาถึงวันนี่สักที Back then, I was hoping in my heart that we might be able to use the version that's "I'm glad that [we've] finally reached this day". ปรากฏว่า ก็ยังไม่ทันหนอ ก็เราก็ยังไม่ใช้เวอร์ชันที่ ที่แบบ อ่ะ อีกแป๊บหนึ่งคงได้ แล้วก็ทุกคนก็หวังอย่างนั้นนะครับ Apparently... not yet, hm? So we didn't yet get to use the version that's- that like- Ah! Just a little longer and [we] may have been able to. And everyone was hoping so! ก็คือความเป็นไปได้ที่ดู ต้องติดตามกันต่อไป Well, it's a possibility that looks- [we] have to keep following [the development].

So I can happily verify for you that Khun X did say what @outofthemouthsof and their MDL source reported and that he said so in the twt space you found!

#always happy to help while also learning more thai :) #i may not have seen cherry magic yet but i find it quite lovely that the entire crew was holding onto hope for the bill to pass in time #cherry magic th #x nuttapong #local woman harps on about linguistics #inquiring minds.txt

[vroomvroomwee]

I don't think enough people realise how incredible Aziraphale is.

He's always known how good and kind Crowley is. Even from the beginning. Now imagine being in his place, after meeting such a wonderful and sweet angel, and hearing that he's fallen, that he's evil and wicked. No wonder he was sceptical and on edge at the garden... except Crowley was still the same, chatty, witty, and funny angel he met before the beginning. Crowleys fall terrifies him because in his mind, if someone like that can get sent to Hell, then what hope is there for me?

So he learns just how thin the line is between being an angel and a demon, just how close he's cutting it, just how little it takes for him to fall as well.

In his eyes, Crowley's brilliant. He's resourceful, intelligent, capable, everything he wants to be. Everything he's told he should be. And it creates so much confusion in his mind. How can someone like that fall while I'm still here? And it doesn't help one single bit that he's falling in love with him.

Aziraphale isn't stupid. Despite what everyone says, he's very in tune with his emotions. So much so that Crowley fails to keep up with his logic and decision-making. He realises that he's falling in love with Crowley, and that causes panick in him. He's an angel. He's not supposed to fall for temptation.

So he has two options: try to prove to himself Crowley's good and therefore justify his own feelings, or to prove Crowley's evil, and that's why he fell. So... in a way, he does both.

Every time Crowley tries to convince him of his malice, Aziraphale proves him wrong, sees right through him. All the while constantly putting a wedge between them, of good and evil. "But, you, are fallen." "I'm good, you, are evil." Even though he knows deep down that's not the truth, which is precisely why he's saying it, he knows Crowley is good, just as he knows he himself isn't fully. And no one must ever find that out.

Not only is he keeping Crowley at a distance for his own safety, but also for Crowleys. Sacrificing both their happiness for each others safety. He knows precisely what Hell will do to him if they ever find out how kind he really is.

And it would be very very simple if he just stopped hanging out with Crowley, except... he can't. No matter how hard he tries he's always pulled back to him. And over time he's testing his limits, what can I do? Am I allowed to do this? Food? That's forbidden? The Arangement? etc.

And you can't really blame him for fearing Falling. Not just burning in boiling sulfur as each of his cells is being transformed in the most agonising way, but also having to spend eternity there as well as the humiliation and resentment he'll get from Heaven. "My lot don't send rude notes." he knows how horrible and terrifying it is down there, and he is all too aware how he won't be able to cope. Too weak, too mellow, too soft.

Crowleys kindness is constantly putting him on edge because he just can't understand why he's a demon. While angels like Gabriel and Michael, who always put him down, are apathetic towards humanity, are narcissistic and emotionless... are still up there. 6000 years he's spent wondering when his time will come. When he'll be pulled down to Hell.

He's so goddamn kind that it took him 6000 years to realise Heaven is not all that it should be. Kinder than Heaven could ever hope to be (and after the "stay back" from ep6 we can see how thay he is capable of being harsh and ruthless, which means he actively chooses to be kind, which makes him all the more extraordinary and astonishing for it). And I'm not even going to go into the strength it takes to manage to break out of the brainwashing that Heaven has done to him. Thousands of years of being humiliated, feeling worthless, not good enough, not angelic enough, not even appreciated. And despite all that feedback and ridicule, he's never given in, never relented, never let anyone modify or change him, has never lost his kindness, his softness, his generosity even after all that he's seen and been through. And that is so fucking incredible.

Validation and praise being at his fingertips, if only he could let go of his individuality, his uniqueness. Of himself. Thousands of years of it, and he has never surrendered to it. Never betrayed himself, kept his pride and his self-worth despite other people trying to rid him of it.

And he knows this. He's too clever not to. He knows just how thin the ice is he's standing on. Even at the beginning, which is not long after the Fall if I might point out, he's defying orders and keeping Adam and Eve safe, risking his own safety for the safety of others. And he still doesn't back down.

But he can't for the life of him keep away from Crowley. Because of how much love he has for him, how much affection. "He's risking his entire existence," and he'll do it again because that's who he is. (Not many people will put their lives on the line for the person that tried to annihilate them, completely destroy them in every plane of existence. Actually, no one ever will. Except him.)

He. Never. Backs. Down. Not from Armaggedon and not from the Second Coming.

It's not that he doesn't love Crowley enough, it's that he loves him too much. This is an angel so full of love that he's scattering himself, breaking himself, tearing himself apart, trying to give it to everyone. To Crowley, to humanity, to Earth. He's risking destruction for the things he loves. Both physically and emotionally. He would sacrifice his own happiness, his own future with Crowley just to save humanity. And he does it again and again and that is so fucking amazing, so fucking incredible that I don't believe such a selfless character exists in any other piece of media or television.

(Also, this is all mostly referring to his emotional strength, but let's not forget how he faced literal Satan and smote around 20 demons in just a matter of seconds.)

Edit: Just wanted to add what one of you pointed out in the comments.

Aziraphale realises that running away with Crowley isn't really a relaxing and peaceful life as Crowley thinks it is. Far away from humanity and it's pleasures that they both love and engage with, something that brought them close in the first place due to their shared love for it, and constantly on the run from Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale is doing this for Crowley, so that he can be happy, so that both of them can be together. Not only that but he offered Crowley his angel status back, since he thought that would make him happy again, since he hoped that he could one day see that same smile that Crowley had when they first met, that smile that he hasn't been able to bring back all these years.

Aziraphale is now in Heaven, the last place he wants to be, the place he barely escaped with his life from, a place that hates him, filled with angels that despise him and want to see him suffer or worse, and he's utterly and completely alone.

He's trying to save the entire universe alone.

Think about that for a little bit.

Edit 2: I think it's worth noting that Aziraphale isn't perfect. And that's the point. He doesn't need to be perfect. He's naive and gullible and sees the world in black and white. He still needs to learn, to grow, to deal with these things. Soon enough, he'll realise that despite all the hope he has that he could fix Heaven, it just can't be mended, something Crowley has learned a long time ago and desperately tries to shoe him. He'll realise the system is corrupt, and no matter how hard he tries, it won't change because it wasn't designed that way. And it just makes him all the more brilliant. He isn't perfect. He has flaws, and he makes mistakes. He's an angel, but he's the most human of them all. And he's incredible all the more for it.

#to cut it short he's one of the most amazing characters ever written #good omens #goodomens #goodomenss2 #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziracrow #good omens season 2 #goodomens2 #goodomensseason2 #good omens s2

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Wish upon the Stars

Untold years have passed since that portal accident so long ago, and Danny Fenton is dead, but maybe his dreams don't have to be.

Based on the prompt: "What did you want to be, when you grew up?" [from @anguishedlurker]

Read also on AO3

[No applicable warnings]

It had been a long time since Danny was fourteen.

He'd experienced horrors and joys the likes of which were beyond human conception. He'd watched the world change around him, for better and for worse. He'd lost everything and everyone he loved a dozen times over, but he kept on loving and losing. It was, as had been said, better than never having loved at all.

Danny Fenton wasn't fourteen anymore. Danny Fenton had passed away a long time ago. But when he looked in the mirror, Danny Phantom looked the same as he always had.

Even after decades... centuries, probably, at this point, people still looked at him, a hero from their grandparents' grandparents' time, and saw a dead fourteen-year-old, saving people, fighting ghosts, protecting the Earth from Ghost Zone invasions.

Nobody talked about it.

For all that Danny was famous, known planet-wide as the greatest hero in this world or the next, the topic of his age always seemed too grim for anyone to broach in his presence. He was sure people would mention it in hushed tones amongst themselves, but never anywhere Danny could hear it.

Now that he was a full ghost, Danny didn't need to sleep. He would fly from city to city, taking care of people, helping ghosts find their way back to the Zone, or encouraging them to treat humans with more care. To remember that humans were fragile, and that they could still die. 

It was growing increasingly rarer the more time that passed, for ghosts to come into the human world with deliberately hostile intentions, but it still happened from time to time, and when it did, Danny would fight like he always had.

It was lonely work. 

For many years, Danny had helped him, traveled with him, but after a time, she'd declared that there wasn't a single inch of this world she had yet to explore, and she moved into the Ghost Zone, hoping the infinite realms would keep her occupied with new sights to see and people to meet for a good long while. He hadn't seen her since, so he supposed that must mean she'd gotten what she wanted.

He was happy for her, but he was lonely.

He'd been alone for a long time.

He was not fourteen anymore.

Even though he always would be.

Thailand was nice this time of year, balmy but breezy, with gorgeous flora and lively people. As soon as he dealt with this ghost, he might even take the time to enjoy it.

He didn't know what the ghost called herself, only that she was playing a little too rough with the local kids and needed a little reminder about how mortality worked. 

It didn't take too long. This kind of discussion usually didn't. The ghost, Rosie Ring, wasn't malicious, she just wanted to play. She reminded him a bit of Youngblood. Ancients, it had been a long time since Danny ran into him. She apologized for her carelessness and asked if the kids wanted to keep playing, some did, some said they needed to go home, and a couple invited Phantom to stay and play with them.

Danny had refused at first, but there wasn't really anything else he needed to do, so he joined their little game until it was time for them all to go home to their families.

"Excuse me, Mr. Phantom?" asked a little girl. 

Over the years, Danny had learned many languages, mostly just to pass the time since ghost speak served as a universal translator, with the only drawback being an accent that creeped people out. Thai, unfortunately, wasn't one of them. He crouched in front of her, hoping he wouldn't have to speak and risk scaring her.

"Will you walk me home?" she asked. "I'm scared of the dark."

He nodded with a calming smile and offered her his hand.

The girl couldn't have been more than ten years old, but she was very polite, and walked hand-in-hand with Phantom without a hint of fear.

"Mr. Phantom?" she asked.

"Hm?"

"What did you want to be, when you grew up?"

Danny paused a little, floating in the air, but the girl didn't notice and kept walking, dragging him along. In centuries, no one had ever asked him that. No one had been brave or reckless enough to bring up the fact that he'd never gotten the chance to grow up—not to his face anyway.

It took him a long moment to answer, it almost hurt him to think back that far, but the girl didn't push, just waited patiently.

"I wanted to be an astronaut," he responded. He felt her grip tighten in mild alarm at the sound of his voice, but she didn't jump or try to run. "I wanted to go to the stars and explore the universe."

"Did you want to meet aliens?" she asked.

"Maybe," he said. "But it turns out all the aliens are in another dimension not too far away, and I'm to busy with them to go to space now."

"Did you ever get to go to space?"

"Yes."

In the early days, after learning he could survive in a vacuum, Danny had gone to space fairly often. But as the years passed, and he had more responsibilities on Earth, his trips to the upper atmosphere and beyond became fewer and fewer, and he hadn't gone at all in over a decade.

"But I can't go very far. I'm needed here."

She nodded thoughtfully, watching her feet swing, one in front of the other, as she walked along the road toward her home.

"Do you like what you do here?" she asked after a moment.

"Most of the time," he said. "It's important work, and it makes me feel good to help others... but some days it's tough."

She nodded again, and again lapsed into momentary silence, watching her feet.

"Do you ever wish you didn't die?" she asked.

He froze again, and again, she pulled him along after her as she continued walking home, navigating the darkening streets by his ghostly glow.

"I used to, a long time ago," he admitted. "I've accepted it now, though."

Another quiet nod and silence.

"When I grow up, I'm gonna be a doctor," she said. "I know I'm gonna have to go to school for a long time, but I want to be able to help people, even though I'm not a ghost with cool powers, like you."

"That's very noble," Danny told her. "I think you'll make a great doctor."

She finally looked up from her feet to smile at him.

"Thanks! I hope so."

They didn't talk much more on the walk, and parted ways once she reached her home and greeted her family. 

Danny waved goodbye and wished the girl good luck with becoming a doctor.

And when he was alone on the street, he looked up to the stars. With the light pollution, few were visible, but if he just flew up... if he just got a little bit closer....

Before he knew it, Danny was floating upward, his speed steadily increasing, and a few minute later he was out. He'd escaped Earth's atmosphere and was floating in the vastness of space. It was beautiful. It was peaceful.

He'd forgotten how much he missed this feeling.

He'd forgotten how much he'd longed for it, once upon a time.

#dp #danny phantom #danny fenton #things i wrote #phic phight #phic phight 24 #fic #future fic

[nattaphum]

The Hidden Character PressCon

The reason why Mile was chosen as the MC for the show is because Pond already knew that he would’ve been good at it because Mile used to be a DJ when he was young but also because he has the “big brother” aura. In fact he showed his good and bad sides to all the young boys. Even at BOC he always gives advices to the others so Pond thought his personality fitted very well for the role.

Mile himself said his role is not just that of a reality show MC but also of a big brother who helps bringing out the charm of all the boys and crack any problem within them to bring out the best version of themselves. He said the reality show is natural and real and most importantly is made to make the viewers happy.

Pond said the thc’s filming happened in between of Man Suang’s filming and it took more than 10 hours to film but Mile stayed throughout the filming and never complained once. He was concerned about the thc filming for several days and when he had to be at Man Suang’s filming he was like “i miss the boys, will they be okay? how are they doing?”. This is a side of Mile that Pond has rarely seen in other people.

(photo of Mile smiling in Apo’s direction❤️)

Question for Mile: what do you think about being an MC considering that you’re an actor from a series while this is a reality show with a new format, it’s an unscripted show. What do you feel about this new format?

Mile: i feel excited because having this kind of format gives the viewers an option to be happy with what they're watching because when we were kids,we used to watch reality shows with another pattern and to see this kind of pattern,well it's a good choice. All the experiences that these boys went through made me think like " hey! if i were in their shoes, would i do 1,2,3 of (what he did) or not?" therefore the audiences can probably relate to that and it can induce some general thinking about that, which i think it's a piece of happiness as well.

Apo’s speech : I was once stuck with the concept of "leading actor" and "masculine." As a leading actor, I didn’t have the courage to act freely. I was afraid to be wrong, as the concept of a leading actor shouldn’t be. Now I have learned to accept myself as I am and become a better version of myself every day. Someone once said to me that if they talk to you and tell you what you did wrong, it means they still love and care about you. When they don’t love you, people just leave and don’t bother to tell you things.

Mile: i think every judgement from anyone, whatever that person is, it’s okay on the outside, it's something that we should hear… but we shouldn’t let those words get into us. Moreover, if you’re someone that likes to judge (negatively),dont forget that you're giving a bad impact on another person. Let me give an example, let's say we ask someone “Are you a man or not?” I take these as questions that are not suitable to be asked because when you ask questions you dont have to forget that whatever we are, the only thing that matters is that we’re all just human. The thing you should focus isnt only about "what do you like or not" but it's more about "what you do and what yoy dont do" and send out the result to others.

Pond: we went abroad and thought that they wouldn’t ask this kind of questions, that only thai people ask this kind of things “You’re acting in a Y Series, how intense is your character? or your love scene? Are you gay? are you a real man?” these kind of questions are asked often. Lately it happened to apo and mile and every time it happens i tell them that this question shouldnt be asked .What is the meaning of “real guy”? It’s the word “gentleman” that only matters

FINAL PHOTOS

All translations by strawberrymilk

Apo’s speech translation by mileapostand

#every day i got reminded that i stan the right people #im proud of them #kinnporsche #mileapo #apo nattawin #mile phakphum #thc presscon

[waitmyturtles]

My first-ever dalliance with an Our Skyy property (I didn’t watch Never Let Me Go or Star In My Mind)! Some thoughts on Our Skyy 2: The Eclipse, episode 1:

First off, The Eclipse was my first GMMTV BL ever ever ever, which I watched after finishing KinnPorsche. I literally had no idea who anyone was, from the actors to Golf, no one. Going in super-DUPER fresh, I generally loved the script, and COMPLETELY loved the direction and cinematography. I loved that the storyline relied on emotional heat up until it made sense to introduce physical heat. I had my criticisms about how the Thua storyline played out -- I did not realize this until @bengiyo shared with me that two episodes had been cut from the original series order, which helps me to understand that whole debacle a lot better in hindsight.

I loved the show a lot, and already have a ton of nostalgia for it, and I’m excited that my old Thai BLs watchlist will give me more by way of First, especially in Not Me (and besides BLs.... yes, I’m still very much considering watching The Shipper for all the other simpy darlings in it) (cough cough Ohm cough Jennie cough).

ANYWAY, I’m seeing on the internet a lot of consternation for this first episode, but I thought it was FABULOUS.

I want to see people in relationships dealing with shit! Like grown-up humans! Yes, the boys are young -- dang, they’re just graduating high school! They’re young adults, like YOUNG, and figuring out their shit. (Isn’t it... SCREAMINGLY obvious that Aye is keeping the birthday secret from Akk?) (I always thought of Akk as a slightly over-serious weenie, and look -- First plays that up SO WELL.) (And Ayan knows this and is messing with Akk, and so what?) (Because boyfriends are going to learn how to balance each other out, and that’s exactly what’s happening here!)

I blog about trauma and messes all the time, because trauma and messes are really real in the real world. Surely I look to dramas to show me alternate realities of happy fluff and happy endings, but, as I always write here: the thing that really gets me in particular about Thai dramas is the Thai filmmaking penchant to NOT look away from the messy, gory, emotional details of relationships needing to be ironed out. It’s truly beautiful art to me when a writer or director can get into that without shying away from it.

I reblogged this fantastic post from @justafriend-ql this morning with an incredible insight: the guys from Suppalo dealt with a tremendous amount of emotional trauma, and dare I say, even brainwashing to an extent while they were in school. They need to figure their shit out. Whether you’re in a relationship or not -- after an experience like that, you need to spend time sorting shit out regarding how you treat yourself and others.

Which is EXACTLY WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH THIS EPISODE. 

To me, The Eclipse was not about physical engagement or fluff. It was a very deep exploration into the societal guardrails that these guys were operating behind. I don’t see why that wouldn’t change for Our Skyy. 

And I think this balanced out really nicely with all the movie bits, with Neo’s shirtlessness (GAWD DAMN), with Namo being freakin’ hilarious, and with my BELOVED ship of Wat and Sani -- Sani, who looks as slammin’ as ever, who will likely turn down Wat (if I’m reading their movie re-creation correctly), and Wat who respectfully crushes on her (I love them I love them, and if Sani decides otherwise, I support her go-gurl moment, because Wat is also an adult now!).

Anyway. This will obviously resolve tomorrow, and I’m excited for it. I loved this episode. It was sophisticated, heaty, emotional, and complicated. I’m not expecting fluffy and simple here -- I want to see good filmmaking for a two-episode epilogue, and I think we’re getting it so far here.

#the eclipse #the eclipse the series #our skyy 2 x the eclipse #akk x ayan #ayan x akk #kan x thua #thua x kan #wat x sani #sani x wat #our skyy 2

[mygwenchan]

15 people, 15 questions

I've been tagged by the lovely @visualtaehyun - Thank you, baby 😘

1) Are you named after anyone?

Nope~ My dad was the one who picked my irl name (had I been a boy, my mom would've been the one to pick it, since my parents had that kind of arrangement). He chose a name with same first syllable as my older sister's, so the names would sound nice together :) (kind of like what a lot of Thai parents do when they have more than one kid)

2) When was the last time you cried?

I actually have no idea 😳

So must've been a while.

3) Do you have kids?

No. And I don't want to have any

4) What sports do you play/have you played?

I wanted to write "none", but actually I used to play in a local basketball team for a while when I was like 16/17. Did some archery as well :) Other than that, I'm mostly a couch potato lol

5) Do you use sarcasm?

Sometimes~

6) What's the first thing you notice about people?

I usually don't notice shit cause my thoughts are all over the place XD Hmm... maybe if they stand too close to me? I need my 2m personal space bubble around me, thank you very much

7) What's your eye color?

Gray-blue (or red when the allergies hit lol)

8) Scary movies or happy endings?

Both sound good! But only if it's scary as in classical ghost story without gore and jump scares

9) Any talents?

I'm stubborn as hell, especially when people tell me I can't do the thing. Bitch, watch me! I'll do the thing and I'll excel! And I might be a shorty, but if anyone dares to threaten my loved ones, I'll turn into a pure force of nature. Other than that, I'm pretty good at crafting and upcycling :)

10) Where were you born?

I'm nordisch by nature, baby~ Born in an old Hansestadt at the Baltic coast 🌊

11) What are your hobbies?

Watching BLs and sometimes writing meta about it. And I've recently gotten into making book nooks, I also like to sew (not really clothes, but small things) and I'm trying to learn how to play the piano. I'd also consider art history and archaeology a hobby of mine. I like to learn interesting facts about the every day life of normal folks from the past

12) Do you have any pets?

I have over 200 plants, do those count? And there are some wild animals that visit me every now and then (a red and a black squirrel and lots of birbs, plus the occasional neighbor's cat)

13) How tall are you?

My passport says 1,61cm, but that's a lie... I'm only 1,58cm 😅

14) What was your favorite subject in school?

I've always liked biology and art. Though for some reason that I can't recall now, I still chose german and physics as my advanced courses. Fun fact: I didn't like history in school, but ended up studying archaeology lol. But well, it was mostly because my history teachers sucked, not so much because of the subject itself.

15) What is your dream job?

Not having to work at all 😔 Idk, I never really had a dream job or a career path I wanted to take. Mostly because my interests tend to shift every couple of years or so and I don't like to get stuck with the same thing forever. Right now I'm working as an e-commerce and online marketing manager for a small nerd company. I'm pretty much my own boss and can decide when and on what I want to work, which is great. Recently we've started building a new online shop and I've been helping out with that, which can be pretty interesting actually.

Ok, that's it about me. Now let's learn something new about you guys~

I'm tagging @boysslove @scarefox @blmpff @lukaherehelp @pinkkop @sparklyeyedhimbo @fleursyoongi @bunni-bun @howlingmusketeers @7777-deactivated @vegasandhishedgehog @dekaydk @shouyou910 @asdfghjklmpff @bl-bam-beyond

#tagging game #15 people 15 questions

[i-bring-crack]

Making an Ashborn/Antares fic in my head about their first meetings, but all the titles of each chapter are Jericho [by Iniko] lyrics.

This is just part 1 btw:

I'm high, I'm from outer space : Ashborn learning the story of his birth by someone he is close to but dies after telling the story of how he once was a little fruit thay came down from a huge tree in outer space. And that fruit had fallen because the storyteller prayed for their creator to grant him a child, but with a condition that he would one day be made to protect its 'perfect' ruler and creator. The storyteller then says that it was happy to have cared for such a beautiful creation and names him Ashborn. (Always used to call him 'little fruit').

I got Milky Way for blood, evolution in my vein : Ashborn then being told he will soon go up to meet said 'perfect' god who created him, milky way for blood being a sudden hint to where Ashborn was originally created and grew up, the milky way. Evolution is also a hint that he was living all his childhood with those that aren't fragments and just animals instead, and that their memories still linger with him, like a 'vein'.

I'm gone, I've been far away: Ashborn basically leaving the world he has grown from to follow where the branches of the world tree lead.

I'ma lumineer now, makin' moves, startin' waves: throughout his journey he encounters hundreds of other worlds that need help and other beings that aren't as strong as he is, so he starts 'making moves' to defend others, and 'starting waves' on the news, by that i mean he gets more recognition even though he hasn't even started his journey as a protector. 'i'm a lumineer' being a fragment and all, but also being a hope to people.

I've been dreaming about flying for a long time: It's here where the story cuts to focus on a small dragon, absurdly weak and small because his parents didn't raise him and instead it was the mana from other monsters that helped him hatch. He of course in return of the favor has been protecting those monsters from everyone that comes close. and secretly been "dreaming about flying for a really long time' like the other dragons, been wanting to be free from protecting those that see him more as a tool than a person, but if he goes towards those that fly high, they will reject him due to being, so freaking weak. And then as he laments his weakness, he sees an angel fly out and chase the monsters away, but unlike other beings that the dragon has fought, this one seems to match his energy, as if they were connected to something, he just doesn't know what, gets confused and eventually loses to him. ["Wait, weren't the fragments the first being in existence?" yes and i'll get to that but hush hush or it will be too spoilery]

I had a vision from the grey's, they wanna co-sign: its then cut to ashborn meeting the other soon to be protectors of AB and the first he gets along with is Solaris, or as many call her, the Brilliant one [yes she is brightest fragment of light and also i wanted to make the rulers complete, literally all complete opposites of one another, so while we have 6 male monarchs and 1 female, we have 6 female rulers and one male, ashborn. i thought it would have been a fun subversion from the already way too male populated series, which i'm fine by but i like to add more fem characters curse me] and from then on Ashborn is told that his meeting with Ab will have to wait, for they want to throw him a congratulatory gift party first, and oh dear that sound like too much party members. 'vision from the grays' refers to Ashborn dreaming about the dragon he fought but wanting to know what the connection was about. and 'they wanna co-sign' is Ashborn and Sol being friends.

Artificially intelligent, new-AI: Ashborn also, not accustomed to a lot of things in this new place, all the sudden casually befriends a being that has literally no feelings and is like a fantasy-sci fi version of an 'android artificially intelligent' being. The android helps him understand a lot about the world he is in and starts telling him about the stories of the past and the beings that surrounded them, who were before him and everyone else, while also helping him train on missions that he will soon take. It's at some point when Manaqi, another fragment of light, tells Ashborn that she created the AI and is happy the AI has made a friend. Although she does mock him a little for being close to an AI more than other beings.

I'm your future, past and present, I'm the fine line: This chapter reveals, as Ashborn and AI pass through the monuments and halls of Abs castle, that at first AB created two powers of light and darkness, the seven great beings appeared from this, they were all stable at first until all the sudden the strongest fragment of darkness starts to declare a war against AB to take his power, all the fragments of darkness fought with the strongest darkness to defeat it but they all lost and were cursed to relive their lives again through their predecesors. Then Ashborn says where all those beings are now and the AI says he will one day be told. That story is ofc 'future, past and present'. 'I'm the fine line' for the introduction of Warmane, another soon to be ruler that is quite... depressing? She is the one to spook Ashborn when she suddenly appears walking in the same hallways that tell the murals and doesn't greet Ashborn back. It's just a fade in character that finishes the story that AI was telling by saying "and for more years to come the fragments of darkness and light will fight themselves until they truly cease to exist."

Yeah, I'm a missing link of this illusion : As he starts studying at the academy for making strong protectors of AB, he suddenly meets with a strong humanoid dragon (in a bar that bans academy students), and stronger than everyone he has ever seen. He declares that no one can defeat him at a fight and Ashborn then tries to see if that's true and they both fight, both being equally matched and they love the thrill of it. They both then erupt in a bigger fight that gets them out of the pub and to make a show withing the plaza. No one wins because the guards appear and they both flee. But before that Ashborn catches him and tries to ask what his name is and he plans to say the name were it not for the spear almost stabbing him so he flees. 'Ima (antares) Missing link of this illusion—> Ashborn with him being in disguise. (For context this is a few years after their first meeting. Ashborn set up to the world tree at 10, he met the dragon around 15, the dragon was also 15, and then Ashborn is here at 20, same with the dragon. Well it took quite a long time to get to that tree alright?)

I am not really here, I'm an intrusion: more days go by where Ahsborn is trying to find who that dragon man is, and keeps reapearing in some places making ruckus around plazas, trying to dimish the social morality of the 'perfect god' when all he does is sit upon the throne. Solaris listens to this and is the first to dispute it all but can't win against the troublemaker, whereas Ashborn just doesn't say anything and is truthful that since he has never seen it he can't make a judgment, but he isnt allowed to disrupt the places and thus at almost every point the dragon dissapears in some way but happy to have fought Ashborn. 

I don't swim or sink, I just float: One of these days Ashborn gets up early to the academy and feels confused as to why everyone is different all of the sudden. A lot of the fragments are in missions around the universe except for him and Sunmask. Sunmask who has been here early tells him that everyone is going wild because 4 new students just joined in and ashborn goes to meet him and is, freaking struck by something when he meets the little dragon again, although this time he doesn't have the mask on, and neither does he but it's funny cuz Ashborn just blurts out Dragonewt, what he used to call him during the fights, and it always irritated him. And without missing a beat the dragon look alike human just grumbles angel (cuz he lso doesn't know his name) before immediately realizing (they both do) oh shit its YOU. 'I don't sink or swim' refering to Ashborn getting used to having a new set of wings, he only had one pair, and now he has two, but he still wants to discover something more than the skies, for example the oceans that Rainblood, yet another soon to be ruler, swims or Manaqi who sinks down the earth to gather precious materials. 'I just float' feels more like trapped in then skies for Ashborn than everything. And his wings were also the reason why he was late in the first place.

I don't need gravity, I just need growth: The dragon now named Ares keeps being better than ashborn at everything he does and all the rest of the angels and other beings keep praising him more than Ashborn. And Ashborn isn't jealous of the Fame, he really isn't and he is happy to not have it anymore. However Ares keeps teasing him personally and he can see it, the stares and the grins and how Ares always tries to pick him as a sparing partner, and he doesn't like it because it's just :/ it feels like he is trying to take revenge in him in some form. (He is not, the dragon is just stupid at communicating and thinks that if he becomes the best he can get noticed by ashborn, whereas Ashborn is trying to run away because he doesn't like THAT kind of drama.) 'I don't need gravity' is a reference to being pushed down to the second best spot by Ares and yet he doesn't mind it, he doesn't need any spot anyways. 'I just need growth' is more Ashborn still reflecting on trying to focus on his own weaknesses and not compare himself to Ares who keeps outgoing him in everything. (And tho he really means he doesn't care, the change still affects him, he feels a bit more distant to everyone and gets to see that there won't really be a lot of people who will stick with you if you aren't perfect enough. He does feel happy when he sees that Solaris, Sunmask and Manaqi are still his friends and can rely on them. Same with AI even though he knows AI doesn't really know about it.) (At this point he also meets someone really curious in AI which is Yoggumunt, they don't talk a lot but it's just to start introducing the new monarchs, the 4 students, that came here. And yeah everyone looks much younger here.)

#ill post the rest later #anyways #solo leveling #sl ashborn #sl antares #soulfire #soul - from ashborn gathering the 'souls' whereas 'fire' is just Antares #and i think its funnt cuz Antares can incinerate souls(shadows) out of existence #and i know the other monarchs do it but hush its them them #also had other names in the pockets baby here are the options #ashflame #lightdragon #ashdragon #Dragonborn #and my favorite one baby #Ashes #because of each its last name (ASHborn and antarES) #also because they are both technically #like ded #deddy dead #dead mort dead #solo leveling au #fanfic lyrics give me angat ahahah #angst #i mean

[tgammsideblog]

Molly McGee Character Analysis (Season 1)

Molly McGee is one of the two main protagonists of the series The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, with the other being Scratch the ghost. The series starts with her and her family, the McGees, moving to Brighton (The Curse). When she enters inside her new house she meets Scratch and instanly greets him, happy to meet a ghost. After Scratch gets tired of Molly’s friendly nature he decides to put a curse on her that ends up backfiring, forcing him to follow Molly wherever she goes.

On the surface, Molly is defined by her desire to help other people and make the world a better place. She wishes to ¨enhappify¨ the world, coming up with multiple projects that could help her reach her goal. She is usually seen participating in charity events and is very active in her community.

Molly is kind, energetic and friendly. She always tries to look for the bright side of things even when the situation is harsh. She works hard to finish her projects and tries to find a solution when they don’t go as planned. Her kindhearted nature makes her easy to connect with other people, along with her being very extroverted.

When it comes to family, she always tries to do whatever she can to help them. She tries to set a good example to her younger brother, Darryl, and loves her parents. Molly really looks up to her father, Pete, and wants to make the world a better place like he does. She also highly respects her Grandma Nin and likes to be involved with her Thai culture like in ¨A Very Hungry Ghost¨.

While she tries to be a good person, Molly is still a teenager learning about the world and makes mistakes along the way. There are times she makes the wrong assumption about some people or jumps to conclusions (The Intership). When she realizes her mistake, she is quickly to apologize and tries fixing the problem she caused.

One of her biggest flaws is having trouble with boundaries and sometimes pushing other people to do things they don’t want to do. There are ocassions Molly fails to understand that not everyone is able to keep up with her frenetic energy, leading her to make others feel uncomfortable in the process. In ¨Mazel Tov, Libby!¨ she jumped to the conclusion that Libby didn’t like her own Bat Mitzvah party and tried changing it. She didn’t consider that Libby prefered small parties because of her more introverted personality and feeling nervous around big crowds. In ¨Ready, Set, Snow!¨ Molly was stubborn about making Libby and Scratch play outside in the snow. She failed to get that they felt better staying indoors. During the song sequence, she was shown to be bitter about her friends not doing what she wanted to do, hinting at some control issues. At the end she apologized to them for her behaviour realizing that she should have tried listening to them better.

Molly has been shown to stand up against things she perceives unfair. She isn’t afraid to speak up when she discovers people lying and taking advantage of others. When she noticed that something weird was going on with Ezekiel Tugbottom in ¨Monumental Disaster¨, she went looking for answers and exposed how Ezekiel was a fraud and his sister, Sally, was the real hero of Brighton. However, Molly can take ¨justice¨ too far and turn it into revenge. In ¨The Don’t Gooder¨ she broke into Andrea Davenport’s house, with the intention of finding anything that could make her look bad in public. Her desire to ¨expose¨ Andrea came out more from jealousy and getting too caught up than doing ¨justice¨.

Other aspects worth of bringing up are her abandonment issues. Because of her father’s job, her family has had to move around the country multiple times, making Molly having to leave many friends behind. This explains why she is so happy to have Scratch as her ¨forever friend¨ since now she has a friend that won’t leave her that easily. In ¨All Night Plight¨ these issues are explored further with Molly being afraid of getting separated from Scratch and Libby when she grews up and trying to get a ¨perfect memory¨ to remind them of the time they shared together.

Molly also has the habit of pretending to be fine when something is bothering her.  She avoids giving a proper answer when others become worried for her. In ¨Home is Where the Haunt Is¨ Molly spend the month she was homeless joining different clubs and changing topics when Libby asked about her family situation. She appears to imitate this habit from Pete, who tries lying to Molly and Darryl to protect them from the reality of the problem.

She has some issues when it comes to being honest with others, she can be ¨too nice¨ letting some characters take advantage of her. (Hooray for Mollywood!; Talent Show; Goat Your Own Way). She can get easily distracted at times too, as shown in ¨Lock, Stock and Peril¨

Overall, Molly is girl who tries her best to help and make others happy. While not perfect, she is still growing up and she keeps her good nature. She tries to look for the positive and not let obstacules stop her from making the Brighton a better place.

#the ghost and molly mcgee #tgamm #molly mcgee #tgamm analysis

[rabbitcruiser]

National Hot Heads Chili Day

Chili lovers celebrate National Hot Heads Chili Day on January 17 every year. On this day, chili heads, heat-seekers, and extreme eaters try out the spiciest chilis. National Hot Heads Chili Day is celebrated with habanero-eating challenges, fancy-dress contests, and cook-offs of popular recipes. Chilis are also made to take the official Scoville heat scale. This doesn’t mean that you have to be a daredevil to celebrate the day — anyone who likes their meal a little hot can celebrate the day! Spices and chilis add a distinct flavor to the dish. Thai, Indian, Creole and Caribbean dishes are famous for their heat content and boast of some excellent gastronomic experiences!

History of National Hot Heads Chili Day

We don’t quite know how National Hot Heads Chili Day came to be but it’s safe to say that one fine day all the chili lovers got together and decided to celebrate hot and spicy food. This makes sense given how humans have always had a knack for chilis in their food — the first recipes for spicy foods go back to 6,000 years! This means that humans have been enjoying spicy food for quite some time. While the foods that we enjoy today may have changed and recipes altered, we still love spicy food. Unlike other animals, humans prefer spicy food simply because it tastes so incredible and on a plus side, spices also offer several health benefits.

Spices such as turmeric and cumin that have powerful antimicrobial and antioxidant properties can kill bacteria outright. Studies show that the capsaicin in hot peppers can reduce inflammation and decrease the chances of heart disease. It can also aid in weight loss. In Ayurvedic medicine, the inflammatory properties of chilis have brought relief from many different conditions, such as headaches, autoimmune disorders, and arthritis. Spicy foods can also help fasten your metabolism. Studies also show that certain spices, like pepper chilies, turmeric, cinnamon, and cumin can curb your appetite and improve your metabolic resting rate. Who knew chilis could be so versatile!

National Hot Heads Chili Day timeline

3500 B.C.

Chilis Are Cultivated

Chilis are grown and cultivated for the first time.

1498

Chilis Arrive In India

Vasco-da-Gama reaches Indian shores and introduces India to chilis.

1912

Scoville Organoleptic Test

Wilbur L. Scoville finds a new method to measure the pungency of chilis.

1975

Chili’s

Larry Lavine opens the first Chili's in Dallas.

National Hot Heads Chili Day FAQs

Are chillies native to India?

After the Portuguese arrival in India, chilies were first introduced to Goa, from where they spread to South India. Today, India is the largest producer of red dried chili in the world.

Which chili is the spiciest?

A Guinness Book record holder, Bhut Jolokia is certified as the hottest chili in the world. It is also known as ‘ghost pepper’ and is cultivated in Arunachal Pradesh, Assam, Nagaland, and Manipur.

Which chili is the healthiest?

Green chilies have high water content and zero calories which makes them a healthy choice for those who are trying to shed some pounds.

National Hot Heads Chili Day Activities

Host a dinner party: Chilis are regularly used in Indian, Chinese, and Thai cooking. Host a dinner party and serve these cuisines to friends and family.

Learn about different chilis from around the world: On National Hot Heads Chili Day, learn more about the different chilies that are available around the world. There are so many different types, including Carolina Reapers, Ghost Peppers, Habanero, Red Cayenne Pepper, Serrano, Guajillo, Poblano, Peppadew, and much more.

Organize a cook-off: Invite your friends over and see who can create the best hot and spicy dish. Flavor your dishes with different types of chilis and find out which one is the hottest.

5 Facts About Chilis That Will Blow Your Mind

Chilis can make you happy: They help release feel-good endorphins and dopamine, which results in a sense of euphoria.

The Japanese had an innovative use: Instead of eating them, the Japanese put them in their socks to keep their toes warm.

They are rich in nutrients: They contain large amounts of vitamin C, provitamin A, and beta-carotene.

Only mammals are sensitive to chilis: Capsaicin may burn and irritate the flesh of mammals but birds are completely immune to its effects

They can be used as first aid: Cayenne pepper can help stop bleeding.

Why We Love National Hot Heads Chili Day

A day to enjoy your favorite foods: Most of us love spicy foods but it’s not possible to savor them every day. National Hot Heads Chili Day offers the perfect opportunity to indulge in your favorite spicy food.

Try a new cuisine: If you don't have an adventurous palate, today is the best day to rectify that. Sample spicy foods from India, Thailand, the Philippines, and the Caribbean.

A day to be adventurous: If you are an adventurous foodie, then National Hot Heads Chili Day invites you to taste some of the hottest and steamiest chilies from the world over. Go on a gastronomic adventure today!

Source

#Green Chile Cheeseburger #Chili Cheese Fries #Chili Burger #Green Chili Stew #Chicken Hunan Kung Pao #Eric's Burger #Passionfruit Chili Margarita #National Hot Heads Chili Day #travel #original photography #vacation #USA #Canada #Sweden #restaurant #street food #NationalHotHeadsChiliDay #17 January

[miranhas-art]

Hey there! I've been loving your digital art journey (your art journey in general to be honest!) but as someone who is also trying to move to digital art, do you have any advice like what brushes you've found best to work with as you get used to changing medium or any other advice would be helpful!

Hello!!!

Sorry for taking too long to reply!

First of all, thank you so so much!

And second, about digital arting (lol) I've started all knew because I've never done ot before. My friend suggested me try the app "Sketchbook" (the one thay the icon is a pencil), because it's free and have a good ammount of brushes!

I still haven't tried procreate, so I can't talk about it, but most of people say it's really good and has shared some brushes with me! I still need to get confident enough to change to procreate, because I'll have to pay for the app and right now it's not very ideal lol

I use this set of brushes on sketchbook and the one selected is the one I mainly use! (Excuse the low quality pic!)

I have an Ipad and an the apple pencil, I got them from my friend. She was selling her boyfriend's and they were in a good price! I can't compare the Ipad with a tablet, but to me it's very easy to use the Ipad!

Now tips I think helped me learn how to draw on digital:

1. Start with simple cartoonish drawings. If you start with simple stuff you get used to the feeling and also can try as much technics with them as you want, without worring about anathomy, and making a polish drawing.

I spend a long time doing stickers art for an Artist Alley I worked at and it helped me practice a lot!

2. If you're more comfortable with pencil drawing, I think it's a good idea to sketch on paper (or even get a finished drawing you already have) and finish/trace it! I did it while illustrating my book (the little rat I posted a couple days ago)!

I still have a lot of difficulty on sketching digitally, so it helped me with time and also gave me a boost of confidence because I didn't have to take so much time in the beginning of the process.

3. Avoid using black! My sister is a designer and she told me black is a difficult color to use in colored pieces, so try to use other colors for sketches and line art. You can use whatever you want I think... I use dark redish brown, it works for me!

4. Use as many layers as you want! I was so afraid of drawing digitally that the first time I drew on it (a small Rey head) I used 20 layers. I felt secured that I could make an error and erase it without fearing to ruin everything!

I think that's basically all I have to share! But feel free to seend me amy questions specific or not! I'm always happy to help!!

#mari talks

[gcldforged]

(  wawwa nicha , 32 , she/her , cis woman , chakri 2  ) - have you seen  aranya chakri ? we’ve heard through the grapevine that they’re  jovial  but also  cunning. when you think of them , you think of  a rose slowly wilting , regrowing thorns rather than petals ; melodic laughter echoing through the halls ; and steel hidden behind a shining smile.

basic information.

full name: aranya chakri. nickname: anya. name meaning: wild forest. age: thirty-two. date of birth: october 10th. astrological sign: libra. gender & pronouns: cis woman , she / her. orientation: heteroromantic , heterosexual. spoken languages: thai , english , french , conversation mandarin. title: queen of thailand. martial status: wed to king thanin chakri.

personality.

positive: jovial ,  eloquent ,  realistic ,  graceful , selfless. negative: cunning ,  melancholic ,  prim , conflicted , hesitant. moral alignment: neutral good. temperament: sanguine. mbti: esfj  -  the  consul.

history.

born into a family of great wealth, aranya grew up knowing that she would want for little and that one day she would wed someone of equal or greater than she. she was the second born but eldest daughter, and while her brother would one day lead their family, she would provide them with a valuable alliance. aranya was taught how to be a lady since she was young. her music lessons, which included singing and learning how to play the krachappi, were her favorite, but she also enjoyed her dance lessons.

aranya was rarely seen without a smile on her face. she rarely had an unkind for anyone she crossed paths with unless they said something unkind to her or her family first. when her family hosted parties, she would be the last one to leave the dance floor and never said no to an invitation to show off her singing or play the krachappi.

she might have not been born with any royal titles, but the people of thailand adored her. the jewel of thailand, they sometimes called her. it was certainly aided by the kindness aranya showed the people, often stepping outside of her family home to converse with those who lived in her family's domain and extending a helping hand when she could. seeing how beloved she was only made her parents set their sights higher when it came to selecting her spouse, especially when they realized the chakris showed interest in arranging a betrothal.

aranya was all smiles on her wedding day. she might've known little of her husband to be but idealism colored her outlook. with time and as they grew to know each other, they would find happiness, even love, with each other; she believed it entirely.

the reality was a stark and crushing difference. her love for her country was immense but aranya hadn't wanted to wed thailand. she'd always dreamed of a husband she could stand proudly beside, but hers barely spoke to her. the more closed off thanin was, the more she shut herself away. her smiles gradually began fading, hurt quieted the fondness she felt, and soon aranya ceased all efforts at trying to get through to her husband.

she tried turning her attention to the country and its people, but doing so only illuminated to aranya's her new family's failures. she could sympathize with the people's frustrations ( had a blind eye not also been turned on her? ) , though not all the methods they went about expressing them, and was equally frustrated feeling that there was little she could do to help either side.

when her husband was nearly assassinated, aranya was terrified, seeing the inevitable writing on the wall, and hoped that, terrible of an event as it was, it might serve as a catalyst. when it did not and they all left for france seemingly hoping matters would resolve in their absence, aranya began to realize that if the chakris would not prepare themselves or change their ways then she must focus on solidifying her own position in case the tides turn against her husband's family. once she would have stood by his side without question but his conduct made her believe she must think of herself, her safety, and her own future first - no matter the part of her that feels guilty for it.

headcanons.

music is her safe haven. in thailand, she's renowned for her singing voice and her skills on the krachappi. however, since her marriage she hasn't played it as often in public, opting instead to do it in the privacy of her quarters or with only her ladies around.

a very social person who embraces any chance to meet new people. it doesn't always come across at first since her normal demeanor is proper and composed but once initial introductions are made, aranya's joyful personality emerges. she delights in inviting new friends to join her for tea or turns about the garden in order to get to know them better.

she is never seen out in public unless her appearance is polished and not a hair is out in place. a little vain, yes, but she sees no shame in it.

the people's queen through and through. there was a reason the people of thailand rejoiced when her betrothal was announced.

she isn't exactly a realist by nature but by circumstance. she often misses how idealistic she once could be but with the problems at home someone must be the voice of reason, no matter how quiet.

while aranya's feelings about the chakris are complex and conflicting, she does care for them just as she also has fondness for her husband.

wanted connections.

ladies in waiting ›› would've be assigned to her once she married thanin and remained at her side since. would absolutely love if one of them was one of her sisters.

best friend / confidant

childhood friends

new friends ›› people she's met and befriended in france!

allies ›› could be allies of thailand or aranya alone as she's begun making moves for herself in case the situation at home worsens.

first love ›› an innocent dalliance, occurring and ending before her betrothal to the king. perhaps aranya thought he'd propose or perhaps he didn't possess a high enough standing to be deemed an acceptable match.

manipulator / fake friend ›› while aranya does her very best to hide how unhappy she is in her marriage, the prolonged stay in france has made someone grow suspicious and they plan to use it to their own benefit.

#francehq.intro #i. aranya chakri ›› intro.

[douji-chan]

Personality analysis of Mikalea Hyakuya

I’m here with a personality analysis today, more precisely, personalities that change when they become different creatures. Probably the person you predicted, this is Mika! He is one of the rare characters who is this much variable in regards to becoming another kind of race.

Let’s start with human Mika.

As you know, human Mika also went through some phases. He always told his alcoholic father thay he loves him, he wanted him to love him, even though he abused him at his youngest ages. And he had a schizoid mother at the same time. Yet he always tried to smile, but in the end, he became a child who is unwanted and had thrown from a car. He survived with many serious wounds, after thrown from the car going at 120 km per hour. Watching the car that he’d still has been inside, if he hadn’t thrown from it, catching fire with an explosion and his biological parents’ death. This was his first experience beetween life and death. As far as I know, there is no detailed information about how Saito found him. So although I don’t know when he first came to the orphanage, he was loving after get used to there. He was focused to taking care of the children like a brother. Maybe the reason behind why he behaved this way was an urge to fill the feeling to have a real family, at least for the children, not just for he loved them. Because both himself and children were lack of a family. The times Mika has spent at the orphanage may be the best, most peaceful times of his life. We all know what happened after that. The virus, being taken to the vampire city and everyday being treated as a livestock. The only problem wasn’t that the vampires underestimated them, of course. There was also a really insecured place. There is no law, there is no rules, there is no one who maintains the order and safety of the children. The life was passing with the policy of “only the strongest one wins.” Or maybe avantageous. Feeling inadequate, Mika resorted to this dangerous way, which has even the possibility of being irreversible. Because at least, he should’ve give them happiness, a hope. However, the day he daydreamed too much, and thought that Ferid was stupid... eh, it was the day we came to the end of human Mika. That day, he sacrificed himself for Yuu. But why? Maybe because it was for assuge his sense of guilt. At least, one of them should’ve continue to live. Also, I don’t think Mika cared that much about living or dying at alll.

Now, it’s vampire Mika’s turn.

It can be said that his life had gotten worse after he became a vampire without his consent. In the first place, he had become the creature he hated the most. He couldn’t get away from them, because he was one of them himself. He couldn’t help but lusting for the blood that once contained himself and his family, and there was no way to stop this feeling. He could only decrease the worse. He might not drink human blood for a while. For this reason, he disregarded his pride and chose to be a dog, a pet. (I will touch on this issue once more.) The people around him weren’t the kind he wanted to communicate with. Vampires were humiliating the humans and they were lack of emotions. Also the people who were in there as a livestock, were afraid of him. He kept his relationship minimal with most of vampires, for 4 years, except Krul, who took care of him and Ferid, who tried to annoy him. However, of course, just because he was like that didn’t mean he liked humans. He learns from a vampire that the people at the orphanage, where he spent his happiest times, are fake and that they were being used for experiments. Later, the human experiments he witnessed, push him to realize the humans’ real colors. To their greed, cruelty and selfishness. Thus, he begins to not look kindly against both races. And this brings the trust issues with it, of course. Everybody was unreliable except his family.

(I’ll be off topic a bit, but here I want to bring out a sharp difference between Yuu and Mika. Krul for Mika, and Guren for Yuu have similiar meanings. But relationships are too different. Although she was the one who fed him, taught him fighting, and partly forms his personality, Mika doesn’t hesitate to approach her with suspicion, to think that she is on his opposite side. (in ch 22, Mika even tried to ask about Krul’s purpose, threaten her —well, this was unlikely with his amount of strenght though.) but when we look at current Yuu, we see that he completely trusts Guren and can include him to his family —and of course Shinoa Squad too. (He may standing up to them right now, but theorically he never doubted the trueness what Guren said and his bad intentions.)

Mika held himself too long to not drink human blood during this four years, can probably be explained with two reasons: to not turning into a complete vampire —because he was afraid that Yuu will hate him and also because he didn’t want it himself. (He hates vampires too, after all.)

After drinking human blood, of couse, he starts to show a little difference. There is no longer an obstacle he has to fight constantly. Even though he still suffers when he doesn’t drink blood, it is clear that he suffers less than during those 4 years. But of couse he still has problems with being a vampire, for example, who is the person he will feed on? As we see in ch 54, he thinks that if he drinks blood like this, he will be like Ferid, the one in his traumas. He can’t help to feel guilty. Another reason is valid for the blood which is given with voluntary. If you remember the ch 53, when Shinoa said that everyone’s blood was collected and she offered it to Mika, he said that he is not little pet of theirs. (This is what I meant when I earlier said I’m going to mention this once more.) But why isn’t this valid for Yuu? Well, Mika has to somehow drink blood to survive, so there aren’t many options left. Maybe it’s because Mika knew that Yuu was making these offers without bad intentions? Also in the eyes of vampire Mika, only family is Yuu. In addition, Mika knew that Yuu wouldn’t mind if it is him who drinks his blood.

We said that vampire Mika doesn’t like both humans and vampires. He also learned not to trust anyone but his family, so he approaches everything with suspicion and tries to figure out the real intention, because he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again.

Also we can say that after drinking human blood, amount of the vampirism of his gets faster, and he begins to lose his emotions. Interestingly, Mika says this doesn’t apply to his feelings for Yuu. This is what actually keeps him human in a way. He still has the humane feature.

As for his death, he’s still ready to sacrifice himself for his family. Also, Ashera stated that he had no more will to live. The fact that Mika orders his sword this pathetic life of his is also emphasizes Mika’s own inner feelings, even tough he doesn’t always talk about it or compain.

In the dream he had when he died, we see he desired how a simple thing in fact. It’s a beautiful dream, in order to live this dream, Mika chooses to be a devil. After becoming a devil, his memories disappear, however, the dream world remains in the place as promised, is precious to him and he wants to protect it. But Ashera and the others prevent this. (I’m trying to pass here fast so I won’t get off topic.) There, we see our demon Mika’s crying for the first time. Also, the other Mika breaks into tears too, Ashera says “Your greatest desire is finding someone to blame.” So, the person he wants to blame is himself? But for why? To punish this person? Don’t forget tos hare your thoughts!

After these events happened, Yuu comes to help and makes Mika to feel better. (I don’t know what he did with he thrust his hand into Mika’s stomach.) Then boom! Mika doesn’t remember either the events that happened recently and the people he is trying to protect. After fighting Yuu for a while, he is convinced to become Yuu’s demon, and now there is adult Mika, in other words, the last Mika whose personality we know.

For adult Mika, it is maybe not so clear in the first 1-2 chapters, but in the later chapters, we can say that he is much different from the child Mika or the vampire Mika. The simpliest example is, how he remained unresponsive when Yuu forgave Guren. I don’t think it applies that he saw Yuu’s memories, because Guren was one of the people who associated about the death of the children, that is, one of the people who put Yuu in this psychological state. Keeping him alive doesn’t change this fact.) Also, I’m not sure if it’s obvious but Mika definitely looks way too calm. It’s probably because he is now a demon, but still, this doesn’t change the fact I mentioned. His reactions to anything is much less than other Mikas. And sometimes it feels like, even tough Mika has recalled his memories, he is like a viewer, not the person who had live them. Like he doesn’t care anymore, he is just watching. In the last chapter, we can easily see the changes in Mika. He accepts the ones Yuu considers as family, talks about how self-sacrificing Guren is, and tells Yuu to stop running away. Had he really changed this much just because he saw Yuu’s memories? Doesn’t that all sound a little strange?

I’m planning to post something about the latest chapter. There is a high possibility for I will talk about the last issue in more detail.

Goodbye for now!

#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #mikaela hyakuya #mikaela shindo

[secrettantric]

How to prepare an erotic massage with a happy ending

When I started as an erotic masseuse in a prestigious center, I never imagined everything I could learn from men. I was delighted. It gave me self-esteem and security, this is what I am most grateful for in my work. My look, my steps, my voice , they would never be the same again. Safety made me great, especially in front of men. I know more about them than they do about themselves."

I let myself be taught, of course. I heard her talk about her work and she seduced me with her first sentence: "Beauty, erotic massage is beauty", she told me when I asked her what it was for her. With an overwhelming experience behind her, despite her youth, she opened me up to her world and told me, in infinite detail, how she created unique and exclusive massages.

Lucía's learning was intense, she became independent and freed herself from the rules of the massage centers to understand that this was much more than an established and rigid protocol. Under her hands and her body there was a different person each time, with emotions, desire and need to feel loved, even if it was for a while.

Each massage offered him new techniques, his borders expanded, he opened himself to creativity and that did not stop. "It was creating pleasure by observing that moment where they lowered their guard. Where they only expressed and I received their information," he told me. "There was no possibility of lying. In reality, they were simple things, but done in a timely manner ." And after this intense investigation, he claims to have the keys to achieving beauty in a unique and unforgettable erotic massage.

The Techniques of an Expert

It is essential to stimulate all the senses. For this, prohibiting certain behaviors would be interesting and the desire will thus reach a higher dimension. Erotic massage is pleasure in itself, if we want to make it a unique experience, it is not appropriate to make it a preliminary to the happy ending, which may or may not exist.

To do this, Lucía sets the following limits:

1. Do not kiss on the mouth

2. Do not do genital oral sex

3. There should be no penetration

Reparation is essential to let yourself flow once the show begins, as it is still a risque role-play. "I usually prepare about 30 minutes in advance. I light with candles, play music and select aromas. This is the first conquest that I like to do," Lucía transmits to me.

Having a mirror to enhance visual stimuli from different perspectives would be ideal, but its best allies are a pareo, a Thai flower and a smile that transmits beauty, serenity and sensuality. The transparencies offered by the pareo are very erotic, "I adjust it leaving my back uncovered and showing one leg. I receive barefoot with loose hair although, later, for the massage, I pick it up". In addition, he assures that when he receives with garters or underwear, passions are unleashed too quickly, so much so that even they prefer the pareo option.

I was surprised that the music chosen to welcome and relax their guests were piano compositions, maybe it's because I have erotic massage too closely associated with sensual chillout themes, I don't know, but I found it very interesting. The piano transmits simplicity, naturalness and eroticism to me, I am convinced that it is delicious for an erotic massage session.

Iron hand in silk glove

That is the attitude, appear confident, calm and radiating sensuality , because each movement must be seductive and full of intention. Working on this attitude at that time can help many women improve their self-esteem. At first it can be difficult to take into account so many aspects, but the attitude of the game, which must also be present, will help us learn and turn it into a state of fluency and that we can fully enjoy it.

If you don't enjoy or don't want to do it, it's useless. It is for mutual pleasure, from different roles, even if it is a job, as in the case of Lucía. " Bodily expression always plays in my favor. I feel like a dancer before them, sure to transmit with every part of my body. Totally concentrated, her bodies are delicate silk for me."

Keys for Making Contact

With the receiver face down, on the massage table, contact your hands, without oil, to prepare the skin and synchronize the breaths . Take time and listen to your body.

Feathers are an infallible weapon and suppose a new conquest . They create a high sensation as they are slowly passed through the body. "It is at this point when I feel that they have already disconnected from the outside and connect with the moment. I ascend with my mouth against their back from the lower part until I recreate myself in the neck, I let myself fall slightly on them while I blow on the neck and the earlobe, I let my mouth feel on her back.

You have to go in progression, for example: blow, leave your mouth on your back or any part of your body, let your lips feel, allow your breath to change the temperature of this area. Drop saliva and lick again.

"That's how I began to incorporate saliva into the massages while they watched me, and then apply it with their little finger, they love it," Lucía reveals to me. "The week I played with fruit I understood the fantasy associated with saliva and lubrication in a very special way."

If you want to play with fruit, choose the melon, the rest give less play or are not worth it at all, the expert assured me and confessed to me: "While I am between their legs I stand before them, I ask for their gaze, I bite into a large slice of melon and all the juices fall from my mouth . Meanwhile, I lick my lips and collect the juices showing my tongue and great passion".

Milk also gives a lot of play, it is very symbolic and contrasts on the skin. "A path of milk running through my body. Coming out of my mouth and sliding down my neck." And with these ideas, who are you going to give a massage to this week? We may not be experts, but with a little help from those who know the most, we can do great.

#tantric massage #nude massage

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hey, I need to talk about this to someone.

So, I believe I have DID but it is not obvious, like, there are no headmates talking etc. And I am just now on the journey between believing I was abused (I believe that by now) and I have cptsd (I most times believe that by now). My cptsd is self diagnosed (but it is just too obvious like from all "check all the symptoms you have" lists I ever saw, I got 100/100) because I am not allowed to see a therapist. And obviously my DID suspect is "self diagnosed" too. But while I often feel like it is true (I can't tell for sure by the symptoms since many symptoms could be symptoms for other mental illnesses too) but I just.. it feels right?

I wouldn't truly self diagnose DID before I talked to a headmate and I am not... doing anything different than what I would do without this suspect. So those are just thoughts of me.

I just feel like I am... adorning myself with something that I "didn't deserve". Like, I read about DID when I was very young (by accident) and consumed some biographies and vlogs about it since I have this suspect and while I know that it isn't always the case, all those ppl in the media I consume have... a very different kind of abusive background than I do with my "my parents hated being parents" background. More organised, more purposefully violent, maybe even triggering DID in their children on purpose. I just have my very standart emotional abusive parents. And I don't want to say that my life was as bad as the life of those ppl because it surely wasn't. And when I say I have the same "mental health consequences" I feel like I say I had it as bad. I hope you understand all that talking.

So yeah, I feel like I'm.. fishing for sympathy? When I say I might have DID. Or just playing it worse than it was. Pretending to be special? Like... I would be happy if I really would get diagnosed with DID because than everything would fall into place. I would've been right with my feeling and could stop looking for the roots of my symptoms.

That's another thing, who'd be happy to have DID? Idk, I feel like faking not just because, you always feel like faking when you have any kind of trauma response, but also because of the above reasons.

Do you have any thoughts about all of thay?

Hey nonny!

A few things to start off with, this is a post that helps with self-dx DID and things like that, and in short: there is no quantifiable or definable thing that has to happen to you to have DID.

Trauma is personal. What is incredibly traumatic to one person could be not traumatic to someone else at all. Trauma has to do with how you process information and events, not the events themselves. To have developed DID you had to have experienced childhood trauma, and you have to have had a disorganized attachment to a primary caregiver during that trauma. Now, not everyone who has trauma and a disorganized attachment will develop DID, but everyone who develops DID has to have had those.

Comparing traumatic events is an incredibly slippery slope that I recommend against going down. You cannot tell how traumatizing something was by the event alone. Emotional abuse can be just as traumatizing as physical abuse. There is no way to quantify that, and no way to accurately compare them. If it really traumatized you, and you didn't have a solid support sysyem, then that's all that matters. That's enough.

I also don't think you'd be happy about having DID, but happy to understand yourself. When we were diagnosed we were really happy too--not because we had DID, but because we finally had a description of our experiences, we had validation and understanding. We could move forward and heal and learn how to cope with life.

But also, from where we are now, we're glad we have DID. Not the trauma, but in all honesty DID saved our life. It's a coping skill. It's meant to help you survive your trauma and give you support. And it keeps doing that for us continuously. We are really grateful for it and for the rest of our system because they got us through some of the worst experiences of our life.

You don't have to hate your disorder. Like yes, DID is a disorder and sometimes it really fucking sucks. But it's also a really good coping mechanism and it's okay to be glad that you have it and you have your sysyem members to rely on.

I can't tell you whether or not you're a system, only you and your (future) mental health professional can do that, but I can tell you that if you are, it's okay to not hate it, and it's okay to doubt yourself sometimes. And if you spend a while questioning then that's okay too. You're trying to figure yourself out and that's okay. It doesn't mean you're panning for sympathy or manipulating people or faking things you don't have. You are allowed to question and explore yourself, nonny, whatever that looks like.

Best of luck,

-Mod Night

#trauma talks #mod night #did

[graillemm111]

Life isn’t finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.

Hi!! I’m Crystal, Crystal Graille Mangulian

A lot of people call’s me ystal, but wait! let me tell you a secret, here at home they call me ohany because it was my grandmother’s name.

I just turned 15 last January 28, I am born and raised in Conner Apayao, the fruit basket of the North.

We are four in Family, I’m the eldest and Xian is the youngest.

I completed my junior high school at Conner, Central, National, High school and graduated with honors , and now i am currently studying in St. Paul University Philippines. People often describe me as a jovial, carefree, and optimistic kind person, but what people don’t know is that sometimes I experience bad days, and that’s alright.

So yeah let’s move on, lets talk about my favorites and what I love.

I love to play instrument, I know how to play Piano, Violin, Ukulele, and Guitar and I can also sing.

I came from a family of musicians. I joined a lot of singing and music contest growing up,

I was raised with faith in God, i go to church every Sunday with my Family, I was very thankful and contented for having a happy family and for what I have in my life.

I love traveling especially in far places like Baguio, Ilocos, Manila,Zamboanga and many more to create memories and experiences, I also love watching movies, k drama’s, C drama’s, and Thai Drama’s,

I’m a fan of Lany, I love their songs. I have 5 black pets, 2 black dogs named Phorsha and Chayo, 2 black cats named Tango and Jive and 1 black bird named Clever, I couldn’t take care of them because I am busy studying so my grandmother takes care of them all.

I love taking pictures and selfies, sometimes I am also a model but not the professional model that you think HAHAHAHAHA

So yeah I will tell you a story, when I was a kid, I always asked my dad how’s the feeling to be a musician, because all I wanted is to be a musician, it is my dream to perform stage and people is cheering on me and shouting my name, and my dad said “it’s hard to be a musician”

I’m Inspired to be like them, and now I’m grateful to be one of them,

I’m a musician but not famous. I’m super happy because I like what I am doing, and finally it happened

I do have a lot of weaknesses, sometimes i put pressure on myself, I don’t know how to manage time and I really need my parents to always be by my side, but now that i am a senior high student i need to be independent, and I’m still adjusting in this new environment.

I do have a lot of friends, we are enjoying our lives while where not that busy. I forget all of the problems when I am with them.

I was very thankful for what I have in my life.

The most important thing is to enjoy your life, -to be happy.

It’s all that matters, you only live once.

Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Was my learning in spup vital to where im leading to?

10 years from now, I see myself with some good qualifications (degree), working in a reputed institution, spending time with family and doing something for my society and mother nature. Over the next few years I will try to fulfill all my plans with all my strength. I will not leave any opportunity which proves to be a hallway to the completion of my goals. I will try my best to be a valuable and irreplaceable asset for the institution I work for. As any other youngster I also want to change happiness and success for myself as well as for my parents and my brother.

Thinking about my future is scary and fascinating at the same time: on the other hand, I have lot of plans and goals that I wish to accomplish; on the other hand, I have fear of choosing the wrong path or not achieve everything I have planned. Nevertheless, just like many other people, I have a personal plan on how I see myself in 10 years from now. This plan accumulates everything that I find essential in my life, my family, my career goals, and my passion for self-development. In general, 10 years from now, I see myself as a successful medtech, helping my parents to cover their debts and treat them to please with everything they need ,

And yes my learning in SPUP is vital to where im leading, and I know that i can handle my chosen strand and course so I can say it is vital.

Was STEM the best choice after all?

- Yes STEM is the best choice, pursuing a STEM strand will allow me a wide variety of future opportunities after graduation. I choose STEM because it is accurate in my course when I go to college. STEM helps me to give a little light about my lessons in my college life. I want to pursue Medical Technology in college. I choose STEM because I know this strand is compatible in any kind of course in college. We all know that this strand is much harder than other kind of strand but on the other side it makes our mind advance and it makes us much prepared on college life I felt lucky to have found the strand that I’m really comfortable with. Looking back, I also had difficulty in choosing a strand last year in junior high. My school offered only the academic track, and I had four strands to choose from. It was a struggle—one day it was STEM, another day it was ABM (Accountancy, Business and Management), and then some days it was HUMSS (Humanities and Social Sciences), or even GAS (General Academic Strand). In the end, choosing the right strand may simply be about rediscovering one’s inner child. I chose STEM not because I’m a math or science geek, but because, at a young age, I loved asking questions that were very much STEM in nature. I like watching Discovery Channel and National Geographic. I love inventing parachutes and other stuff to play with. And I guess that, somehow, the child in me still knew what was best. Apart from that for some, choosing the right strand is not just about making new friends and discovering new things related to a subject. More important, it is about envisioning your dream job and career path. Choosing a career is difficult in itself, but senior high school prepares you to make crucial decisions that will impact your future. In my case, since I have yet to decide which career suits me best, I felt that STEM would be most helpful. Studying and working in STEM means learning about the world around you, finding innovative solutions to real-world challenges, and playing a role in some of the country’s major discoveries and developments. “STEM is difficult but intelligence is not measured by a number on a piece of paper. You go to school to learn, not to memorize no matter how much it seems like everything is just memorization. Learn the concepts. Don’t just memorize the terms. Take charge and strive to learn and grow. Don’t be complacent. STEM is ever growing and ever-changing and you should be too.”

What course will you take in collage and why?

In this modern era, there are a lot of things that are beyond our knowledge, things that are unkown and cannot be perceived. As a young pursuer, I dreamt of being one of the people who play a vital role in the community. Right before, I thought hardly to decide of what course should I take and directly relate it to my interests, I came up through a lot of science related courses until I’ve heard and searched about Medical Technology, I was first enthralled by the thought of it most primarily because it focuses on the extraordinary such as things that are not visible to the naked eye.

When I was young, I was afraid of Health practitioners especially medtechs, because they do nothing but prick my finger and draw blood from me, back then I wasn’t aware of what profession they are in because they lock themselves in an isolated room which I don’t have a clue that it was a laboratory. My young wondering mind brought me to the idea of playing pretend with my childhood friends, me as a medtech and them as the patient, I would prick their fingers using match sticks and inject or draw blood from them using a “click” ballpen.

I chose Medical Technology course because I was influenced by it since I was young and it’s my interest and I know that when I became a successful medical technologist, I would play a vital role in my country and help the people in need of proper diagnosis.

And that's the end of my blog, I hope you enjoy it, Thank you and God bless!!

[thoughts-in-20s]

Called to serve and not Called to suffer.

Hello how was your week? This week was a little better than last week because we had to teach English again in school and we had seen little miracles. First I am just so happy to see Sister sand progressing she told us that she had read the Book of Mormon we gave her and that her favorite is in Alma 36:17-20 she also shared to us what she had felt while reading it. I really like how she's always willing to learn things, she even asked us about the Christmas activities we'll be doing in church, she said she'll try to go and I am even more excited for her. Second we have met brother earth during our English class he said he will try go every class and I consider this as a miracle because we don't have a lot of people coming to our class and this is also our way to invite others to learn about the gospel. Lastly we had our district council meeting in person for the first time, I consider this as miracle because it's hard to discuss about the things we can improve for the area and our plans online at the same time I am happy we are able to gather together before transfer day which is on December 15. I am grateful that even the work here is so hard we are able to still see miracles each week which only proves how the Lord is always there for us. I am thankful for the members here especially to Sister ganjanee, she is so kind and sweet everytime I try to talk to her with my broken thai, she always encourage me to just keep on trying because she said I will eventually get there and she never forgets to compliment me whenever I am able to complete a sentence which just makes me happy and she's also one of the reasons why I am striving so hard to become more better in the language. I remember a quote I've learned from the MTC "Stretch yourself to speak the language because you love the people". I like how this is so true, one thing I've realized in my almost one month here in the field is that you can't help the people if you don't understand them and no matter how inspiring or good your words are if the people can't understand you it doesn't make any difference at all. Everytime I study the scriptures and the language I always try to think about the people we are serving like how can I become a help for them and how can I help them to appreciate more the Greatest and Infinite Atonement of Jesus Christ as I do this I can feel how this calling has been a blessing for me because it had increased my capacity to love other people as myself. If you know me personally before I was called as a missionary you know how much I hate working under the heat of the sun and also doing biking not only because I am terrible at it but also because it's a tiring thing to do but missionary work taught me how to become selfless it had taught me that for every effort we do to help others to come unto Him brings us even more joy than what we feel if have stayed in our comfort zone. It brings me so much comfort that the Lord knows which area and companion can help us to be more patient and Christlike. This week I have been into Alma 29:10 "And behold, when I see many of my brethren truly penitent, and coming to the Lord their God, then is my soul filled with joy; then do I remember what the Lord has done for me, yea, even that he hath heard my prayer; yea, then do I remember his merciful arm which he extended towards me." This is exactly what I feel as I lose myself in this great cause and I am sure you'll feel the same too as you forget yourself, everyday I experience different struggles but I told myself If this how the Lord refines me I am even more willing to face it. Thank y'all for reaching out to me, see you next pday and take care.