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#and I was definitely working on it in august
xzaddyzanakinx · 3 days
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Not That Kind of Guy
Part Twelve: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series
Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink (Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, masturbation, domesticity kink, oral, PIV, dick piercing, forced orgasm, semi-public, bondage, blindfolds, biting/slapping/spanking, squirting, cumming untouched, NONCON/DUBCON/CNC, Somno, murder/blood/gore/drugs(referenced), knife, GEN. SMUT[Be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]
Info: Anakin is so full of himself that he’s somehow tricked himself into a bit of emotional maturity, Anakin has blooming bromance, post murder sex spree [diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+
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Date
August 27th continued.
Anakin climbed through his living room window and shut it behind him, happily humming to himself as he shut and locked it behind him. He spread out two trash bags on the floor after rolling up the rug to get it out of his way.
Armed with a pair of scissors and a few gallon ziploc bags he went to work on the clothes he’d been wearing. Thankfully, he had enough sense to buy jeans and a hoodie from the Goodwill. He can’t fuck you in the clothes he killed a man in, that’s just gross. So he chopped up the fabric in little squares while watching an episode of Narcos for the irony of it.
He planned to drive around the city tomorrow and dump the remnants of his clothes down every sewer grate he could. He already said goodbye to his third favorite butterfly knife, having shoved it into a culvert on his way home. As well as his throwaway sneakers which he chucked into the murky water of the deep river that flowed beneath the bridge he trekked across to get home- the long way.
Anakin was a good citizen, he knew he couldn’t flush the drugs. He couldn’t dispose of them in the trash, he definitely couldn’t keep them, so he did what every responsible person would do: dumped them in the medical wastes slot at the CVS.
The cash on the other hand… over $2,000. That- that he could definitely keep.
With his mind cleared, soiled clothes squared away, and plan in place; he hit the shower and reveled in the faint metallic scent of blood that trickled down the drain. Mentally adding ‘new loofah’ to his to-do list, he scrubbed away at his skin with dawn dishsoap until he felt like his skin was screaming for him to stop. Then he used his favorite smell-good cedar soap, enjoying the steam of the scalding water pelting his back as he rinsed himself clean.
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Diary Entry: August 28th
I feel GOOD. I feel better, I feel fresh.
My worries went down the drain along with every scrap of evidence I created. Have you ever felt such a clear and palpable mental reset? I haven’t.
I haven’t had a single negative thought since my visit with Joel. It’s all been rainbows and shittin’ unicorns, I know what it’s like to live completely carefree now. I could go the rest of my life and suffer through whatever disaster life throws our way and do it with a fucking smile.
Gods I just love you. I love you so much.
You’re perfect. I don’t know how the hell you do it princess but you’ve found every possible way to improve my life and you don’t even know you’re doing it half the time! It’s like you know exactly what I need without ever speaking it aloud. You just let the pieces fall into place.
It was your idea to DoorDash the pizza, your choice to wear that slutty pajama set I love so much, your sunshiny predisposition that drew his attention and the bangin’ body that held it. Without that, all of it, I’d still be wallowing in the throes of despair at my untimely death via withering away.
But here I am, having a damn good day!
The only thing that would make it better is me fucking you like a jackrabbit on his third 5hr Energy. However, I love you and as much as I’d like to fuck you within an inch of your life, I will not. I have a hand that works perfectly fine and a plethora of porn starring you that I can drool over until I’ve sated myself enough to act like a semi-normal human.
How will I broach the subject of my unrequited love today? I don’t know. Am I worried about it? Hell no. I have faith in my goddess to deliver what I’m worthy of.
How will I look you in the eye after my late night escapade? With a fucking smile.
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Date
August 28th
You traded texts back and forth with Anakin all morning. Something had crawled under his skin and bit him with venomous lust, he’d sent you pretty pictures of his weeping cock, cum dribbling out and down the back of his hand. He’d texted, described in delicate detail what he’d like to do to you with the most vile and disgusting words to caress that sick little minx that lived inside your stomach.
He had you clenching around nothing, gushing slick behind the counter at the diner. Blushing deep, dusty rose petal red across your cheeks and creeping up under your shirt collar. You felt hot, your hands sweaty and mind flustered beyond belief. You hadn’t felt this sexually frustrated since Ghost had stopped torturing you in your sleep.
You were nervous and bashful around customers as if they could see straight through your polite voice and put together appearance. Underneath the confidence that you reserved for waiting tables was a deprived and thoroughly soaked cunt that controlled your every waking thought.
“Princess?” Anakin’s deep gravelly bedroom voice floated over the Formica countertop and wrapped you up in a warm embrace.
You looked up and saw the face of a desperate man. His pretty blue eyes had been completely swallowed up by his lust… love blown pupils. His normally calming cloud of energy was replaced by a jittery, buzzing storm of bottled up euphoria. He couldn’t wait to pop the cork and share it with you.
“Vigo?” Anakin’s voice cracked, his smile only growing bigger when your coworker popped his head around the kitchen door frame. “I’m stealing her.”
“Hey, you gotta clock out!” He shouted after you as Anakin gripped your wrist and whisked you out to his car. Vigo was already on his way to the time cards, punching it in for you to save himself the worry of you forgetting.
“Anakin what’s gotten into you?” You panted, trying to catch your breath while Anakin licked into your mouth and sucked the tip of your tongue. Kissing you as messily as he could short of drowning you via spit swap.
“Woke up missing you.” He groaned, nuzzling your breasts. His nose nudging the valley while he rubbed his cheeks against the swell, pushing them together with his splayed hands.
“Can’t help it.” He breathed out, biting your sensitive flesh through the fabric of your shirt.
“Ani.” You moaned, tugging his head away gently. “You already gave me a massive hickey.” He chuckled as you reminded him of the purplish bruise you’d attempted to cover with makeup.
“True.” He nodded, nipping you again anyway. “You could stand to have a few more though.”
“Shit, not now.” You shook your head and bucked up your hips, wiggling out of your jeans.
“Damn, that’s what I like to see sweetheart.” Anakin growled, smacking your ass lightly as he laid down in the back seat. “C’mere baby let me see my pussy.”
You giggled, complying and gingerly hovering over his mouth only to earn a frustrated groan from him.
“Goddamnit. I-I’ve never seen you this wet.” His eyebrows furrowed together as he looked up at you, his enlarged pupils snapping a mental picture of how beautiful you were from your position above him where you belonged.
Both hands suddenly gripped your hips and pulled you down on top of his face. He held on tightly, keeping you in place despite your concerns of suffocating him.
“Don’t care.” He moaned, thrusting his tongue up and swirling it around inside your entrance, the bridge of his nose rubbing your clit as he guided your hips to ride his face. “I’d be dying the happiest man on earth.”
“Oh my god.” You sucked in a sharp inhale, your palm smacking the headrest while your fingers hurt from the force of your grip on it.
“Mhmmmm.” You could feel his smug grin beneath you, even in this position he was able to establish dominance with just that crooked smirk and hard look to his eyes.
“Anakin…” moaning, you reached down to play with his hair, his mouth pulling your clit between his teeth to suck harshly, flicking his tongue at a fast pace in hopes to bring you to orgasm quickly. “Anakin please… s-slow.”
“Uh uh.” He shook his head with a chuckle, digging his fingertips into the fat of your ass.
“My pussy… my rules.” He mumbled, the words muffled and nearly incoherent.
He slurped and sucked, dragging his tongue in long stripes up your center, dipping the tip into your hole each time it passed over. He’d never eaten you so desperately, never had he sent you spiraling into orgasm this quickly. Heat traveled from your chest all the way to the tips of your ears, your hole quivering around his tongue darting in to lick up your cum.
“Ani- Anakin enough.” You whined, trying to get up but he just brought you back down and laved at you with just as much fervor.
“Please no… hurts.” You hiccuped, sensitive beyond belief and not ready for more in the slightest.
“Shhhh.” Anakin laughed, nibbling on your clit carefully, he slipped one hand beneath you, palm side up.
He tapped your hip and let you raise up for a moment to catch your breath, lasting less than a few seconds before he was one-armed manhandling you back over his face.
“Fuck yourself on my fingers while I watch baby.” He whispered, stroking your folds gently before prodding at your entrance.
“Oh sweet lord-“ he moaned loudly, watching your greedy pussy sink down on his fingers from below, your hole fluttering around the two digits.
“You’re so wet.” He whimpered, gazing up at you like you’d hung the moon just for him.
“All this for me?” He asked softly, as if he weren’t really sure what your answer would be.
“All for you Ani.” You nodded, brushing your knuckles across his cheek while he started pumping his finger inside slowly, stretching you out to take a third.
“Jesus, I don’t know what I wanna do.” He groaned, “I wish I could touch you all over all at once.”
He removed his fingers and brought them up for you to see the fruits of his labor, the creamy slick coated his fingers, stringing them together when he pulled them apart. He barely grazed your bottom lip with it before sucking it hungrily from his fingers.
“Goddamnit.” He moaned, pulling you back down with such force that you lost your balance and accidentally unlocked the car door, you giggled and quickly corrected your mistake, Anakin chiding you from below.
“Clumsy little brat.” He grinned, kneading your ass cheeks roughly.
His tone might’ve been playful but the look in his eyes was nothing short of predatory. He lapped at your glistening folds with the enthusiasm of a wildcat on a fresh kill, by the end of it he’d be sucking the bones dry.
Anakin hummed at the taste of you, groaning, babbling nonsense more to your cunt than to you:
“Tastes so good.”
“So pink and pretty for me.”
“Poor pussy just missed me so much huh? Is that why she’s crying?”
He switched up suddenly and had you frozen in place, your jaw dropped open as you let out a choked sob, tilting your head back to look at the car’s ceiling. He’d bit down on your raw and sore clit, peeling back the hood to tortuously bully it with kitten licks all while sucking as hard as he possibly could. It was too much, so much, all at once.
You were already so sensitive, you had already begged him to stop, now you had no words left, just pitiful whimpers as you bit down on your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Your legs quivered uncontrollably as goosebumps pricked your flesh, every hair standing on end as Anakin literally sucked you dry as you’d jokingly predicted.
He drew out a long and reedy noise from the depths of your chest, clawing it’s way through the fire in your lungs and past the torn skin on your lip. Creamy cum gushed from your core, coating his chin and neck.
The main course, what he was really after, was the hot juices that dribbled down the back of his throat as he sucked the nectar straight from the source. You would’ve worried you might drown him if you couldn’t visibly see his heavy breathing, feel and hear each desperate swallow and whimper. You could feel his stomach tensing along with his arms, his hands followed and closed into fists.
Turning his head to the side he bit down on your inner thigh, causing you to jolt and yelp, almost missing the way one of his hands flew to his crotch and squeezed his thick cock through his jeans, running his thumb over the fat, swollen tip as a small and sticky dark patch bloomed on his upper thigh.
“N-no no.” He whined, bringing you back down to his face, he carefully avoided your abused clit in favor of cleaning up your thighs and messy cunt, digging out every last drop of slick with his tongue.
“You… you are so fucking hot.” He panted, whimpering in pain when he sat up repositioned his cock.
“Did you-“
“Cum? Yeah.” He nodded sheepishly, stroking himself in his jeans for a moment before removing his hand and showing you the mess he’d made in his jeans.
“No way.” You whispered, a triumphant grin spreading across your lips.
“Yes.” He growled, shoving his hand between your thighs to wipe his cum off onto your spent pussy. “I don’t think you understand what you do to me sweetheart.”
“I’d pay good money to find a way to live inside your skin with you. Just to be close as I could get.” He said quietly, helping you back into your panties and jeans, wiping the excess cum onto the inside of his tshirt.
“I’d sell my soul just to breathe the same air as you if that’s what it took.” He said, pulling you into his lap and crushing you in a hug.
“You are like a Ghost that haunts every corner of my mind.” He whispered, licking the makeup off of your poorly hidden hickey.
Anakin didn’t miss the way you breathed in a sharp breath at his words it took a lot of willpower not to smile against your neck when he heard you audibly swallow with nervousness.
“I wake up and I think of you. I go to sleep and I dream of you.” His rough palms caressing the soft skin of your stomach. “Everything I see, everything I do, it all reminds me of you.”
“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.” He said softly. “You’d never doubt yourself again.” His lips grazing your earlobe as he twirled a lock of hair around his finger, breaking the heavy tension by cracking a smile and tickling the tip of your nose with your hair.
He gently cupped your cheeks and brushed the pads of his thumbs across your cheeks and under your eyes. Staring at you with those unwavering black saucers in his eyes. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he’d done drugs. It’s unnatural for a human’s eyes to stay dilated for this long. But you knew Anakin, he was just high on you.
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Diary Entry: August 28th continued
I have so much energy and I don’t know what to do with it all. I might try bench pressing a school bus, I could probably make it move alittle. If I didn’t give myself a hernia first.
What I really need is more of you. I thought a little sweet treat might tithe me over but I was WRONG. I’m feeling a new kind of insatiable.
It’s time for Ghost to get back to his old tricks with a new accessory: my rarely worn tongue stud.
Man I love it though, it clacks against my teeth so good. I can hear it in my brain for like, minutes after I’ve done it. Such a satisfying sound. Its crisp.
Which is unfortunately the reason why I can’t wear it often anymore.
I click clacked it around my bottom row of teeth too much and the dentist made me promise not to do it anymore. Turns out abstinence is actually the best method when it comes to prevention. If it’s not in my mouth I can’t fuck up my teeth, but I can play with my lip piercings. Yeehaw I love a loophole.
Anywho. I feasted on my favorite meal today and I desperately need more before I actually go insane. I need to taste you. I need to feel you. I need to fuck you til I lose consciousness.
I want you to be awake though because as hot as it is to watch you cum in your sleep, it’s even hotter to see you reacting to the things I say. Deny it all you want baby but you’re my whore.
Ghost, Anakin, both. You’re willing to do anything for my cock.
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Date
August 28th continued.
Anakin can’t keep his hands to himself. It’s like he’s been corrupted by an incubus, he’s turned into an insatiable beast that just can’t stop. You’ve seriously considered the possibility that he may have somehow gotten his hands on some ecstasy and a suped up gas station boner pill.
Though logically you know exactly what is happening. He’s just giddy and feeling a weight lifted from his chest after confessing to you. It makes perfect sense. Carrying a secret like that is a burden, you know that very well by now.
Anakin is purely running off adrenaline fumes and endorphins. He’s burning it off the best way possible, by touching you in every direction, position, time, space and dimension that he can put you in.
He’s fucked you twice after taking you home from work today. Kitchen counter? From the back with your legs dangling helplessly, your sweaty skin sticking to the countertop. Coffee table? He pushed you down on it, swiping off the scattered items on it, including the freshly made sandwich and chips you’d brought him. He had said ’F-fuck… you’re just so sexy when you’re domestic.’
Right now on your third go around, he had finally, finally agreed to take you to the bed after you’d formed a triangle shaped bruise from the corner on the kitchen counter.
“M’sorry baby,” He whispered, licking away the dull pain on your hip from between your legs. “didn’t mean to.”
“I know Ani,” you breathed out, “it’s not your fault.”
“It is.” He nodded, pulling you toward the edge of the bed and gently helping you onto you hands and knees. “My poor girl.”
“You’re just so pretty. You’re so perfect. You’re so… you.” He sighed, standing behind and to the side of you to caress your injured hip.
His rough palm glided over the hot, sticky skin of your spine to brush your hair away. His free hand slowly tracing a delicate pattern across the plumped flesh of your ass, all five digits teasing the skin with tingling trails of warmth.
His lips caressed your tender skin up and down your side while he lovingly slipped a finger between your pussy lips. He groaned and made a fist between your shoulder blades to keep control of himself, your wetness feeding his need to be sheathed inside your warm and welcoming cunt.
“Pretty, pretty baby.” He whispered, his voice cracking while he brought his burning hot cheek down to rest against the swell of your ass, toying with his lip piercings to stifle a moan at the sloppy noises his pointer finger made on its descent into your depths.
“You’ve been so good for me.” He praised you, massaging your shoulder with one hand, kissing your ass cheek as he turned his head and rested the other side of his blushed face there, switching sides to watch your expressions change with each plunge of his finger.
“My little girl…” he growled, low and deep in his throat, “letting me take what I need.”
“Just wanted you to feel good Ani.” You sighed, gratefully accepting a second finger from him, feeling him twist his wrist back and forth with each slow thrust.
“Mmm, I did sweetheart.” He chuckled, “trust me, it’s hard to feel anything but heavenly when I’ve got my hands on you.”
“You’ve been so needy.” You whined, letting him guide your hand to your clit so you could rub yourself at your own pace along with his languid fingers.
“I know.” He clicked his tongue. “Are you okay sweetheart?”
“Course I’m okay.” You moaned, leaning back against his hand while his fingertips pressed and massaged your inner core.
“I put your poor little body through a lot today huh?” He cooed, switching his free hand over to your other shoulder to massage it the same as the other.
He smiled widely as he watched your face relax and felt your breathing slow into a steady rhythm. He felt proud. Proud of you, of himself, of his self control.
“Felt good Ani.” You whispered, your fingers tightening around the sheets in your fist while you rocked back onto his hand, fucking yourself on his fingers. “I needed it too.”
“That’s my girl.” He smiled, hearing the content sigh escape your lips. “You think you can cum for me again baby?” He asked softly, kissing the small of your back.
“N-no.” You whimpered, shying away from his gentle probing fingers.
“You sure sweetheart?” He asked, slowing his movements even further. “It’s okay baby, I just wanna make sure you’re taken care of.”
“M’sure.” You shook your head rapidly, “I can’t.”
“Okay baby.” He chuckled, “ready for me to stop then?” He asked.
“No… not yet.” You said quietly. “Lay with me?”
“Oh sure thing princess.” He grinned, removing his fingers just long enough for him to turn off your lamp and help you slide under the blankets, his nakedness pressed firmly against yours.
“Mm, you’re so warm,” you giggled, Anakin’s arms wrapping around you tightly while he kissed the nape of your neck, spooning you from behind.
“Cozy?” He asked with a gruff tone, slipping his fingers back into your messy pussy from behind to continue the slow and gentle caresses.
“So cozy.” You nodded. “I’m gettin’ sleepy.” You said tiredly.
“I figured so.” He nodded, his voice a soft whisper. “I’ll lay with you until it’s time for me to leave for work okay?”
“I’ll make sure everything is all locked up when I leave, I’ll kiss you bye.” He spoke low and soothingly as he gently rubbed your neck, removing his fingers from your folds when he heard your breathing slightly change.
“I’ll text you,” he whispered, sucking your slick from his fingers between words, not hiding his hard-on as it pressed against your ass. “when I get there and when I get back home. I’ll miss you so much until I see you again tomorrow.”
Soon enough you were deep in sleep and Anakin was glad he’d made you take your pills at dinner time, he’d thought ahead and considered the very real possibility that you’d end up being fucked to sleep.
He was right of course.
——————————————————————————
“Anakin what the hell man?” Trevor chortled shoving a handful of ice down the back of Anakin’s shirt in retaliation to the towel-whip he’d dealt Trevor.
“What? Can’t a guy be happy?” Anakin laughed.
“Happy? Nah you’re fucking hyper.” Trevor grinned. “What’d you do that’s got you feeling so good? Gimme some.” He teased.
“Shut up, the hardest thing I do is pot you know that.” Anakin snorted.
“Then what’s the deal?” Trevor splayed his own hand a few inches from his face.
“I’m love drunk baby.” Anakin waggled his eyebrows and shimmied his shoulders.
“Jesus I don’t even know you! Who are you and what have you done with my jackass?” Trevor grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him with a laugh, turning to pour a beer on tap for a patron.
“I ate him.” Anakin shrugged and giggled.
“I’m calling your girlfriend. I don’t know if I can be around you anymore.” April said, walking past the two of them with a serving tray.
“She needs a break from me, she’s very tired.” Anakin said with a proud grin.
“Oh my god!” April cackled and made a quick exit from behind the bar to serve drinks at a corner table.
“Fucking freak.” Trevor snickered.
“That’s what she said.” Anakin stuck out his tongue and flicked it with an impish grin.
After an hour or so the bar traffic grew stagnant and Anakin stepped out back for a cigarette, flicking his zippo out to light the flame and swinging in shut. Letting a curl of smoke leave his lips to breathe in through his nose. He leaned back against the brick wall with his legs crossed at the ankles, raising his arms above his head to rest his fists on his forehead.
He was looking up at the hazy city-light polluted night sky, searching for stars, when the back door swung open and Trevor stepped out with a bottle of beer for himself and one for Anakin.
“Trade me.” He grunted, sitting down on an old wood crate and holding out the beer bottle, two fingers extended for Anakin to sit a cigarette between.
“Yessir,” Anakin nodded, going so far as to light it for his friend.
“Anakin.” Trevor said thoughtfully. “Can I ask you something?”
“You just did.” Anakin said, tipping up the beer bottle and watching the amber liquid bubble as he took a gulp.
“Did you hate me?” Trevor asked. “When you first started here?”
“What? Pfft, no what are you talking about?” Anakin asked, pushing off the wall with his black leather boot.
“I don’t know, you’re just different.” Trevor said with a shrug. “You just seemed so… excuse my critique; cold and distant.”
“Criticism accepted.” Anakin nodded. “It’s true I guess.”
“Yeah? So what changed?” Trevor asked in curiosity, a rare moment of vulnerability shared between two male friends wasn’t to be wasted.
“Met a girl. Got my shit together.” Anakin said, flicking cigarette ash to the pavement. “I love her you know?”
“Do you?”
“Mhm.” Anakin nodded. “I told her. She hasn’t said it back yet.”
“Well damn I’m sorry man-“
“No don’t be. She’ll say it.” Anakin held up his hand to stop him. “She just ain’t ready to admit it that’s all.”
“How are you not all depressed and shit?”
“I was, but I realized… I don’t care.” Anakin said simply. “I don’t care how long it takes. I don’t care if I have to wait until I’m dead in the ground. I know she’ll tell me when she’s ready.”
“I had myself a bit of a freak out.” Anakin admitted, “but after I cooled off I’ve been… happier than I’ve ever been.”
“That why you’re all…” Trevor gestured to him with both hands.
“Yessir.” Anakin grinned.
“So you’re acting like you’ve won the fuckin’ lotto because your girl didn’t say she loved you?” Trevor raised his eyebrows.
“She doesn’t have to.” Anakin said, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms, placing the cigarette between his lips, inhaling slowly. Grabbing it between his forefinger and thumb he brought it back down to his side and made an O with his lips, hollowing his cheeks and flicking the dip in his cheek to let a ring of smoke out.
“I know she does.” Anakin said, tilting his head back against the brick and letting it loll to the side to look over at Trevor. “She didn’t run off, she didn’t tell me to get lost, she laid there with me… pretty little head on my chest.” Anakin said, making a motion with his hand above his heart.
“Then today.” Anakin said, clicking his tongue with a smirk. “She sat on my face in the parking lot of the Bluebird during her break n’ let me fuck her all over the house when I got her home.”
“Jesus, here I was thinkin’ you were being sweet.” Trevor snorted, flicking his bottle cap so the it bounced off the toe of Anakin’s boot.
“If that doesn’t scream love I don’t know what does.” Anakin sighed contentedly, stubbing out his cigarette and dropping it into the designated rusty coffee can for cigarette butt.
——————————————————————————
“Hey, look Trev isn’t that the guy uh… the one who did that thing junior year of highschool?” April shouted over the din of the bar from the other end of the counter, pointing up to the smaller tv playing the news rather than the basketball game.
“Uh… hold on I can’t- I don’t have my glasses.” he said walking over and squinting, Anakin walking up behind him to look over his shoulder.
“Mm yeah that’s the guy they called- uh,” he thought for a second before snapping his right hand fingers and bringing his palm down on top of his fist, pointing up at the screen. “Duck! Didn’t they?”
“Yeah! Yeah, him.” April nodded, sucking on a lemon slice she’d dipped in sugar.
She turned back around and shook up the tumbler she was mixing a drink in, pouring it over two glasses and sliding it across the table to their owners.
“Why’d they call him that?” Anakin asked, wiping down the bar, before washing up some shot glasses.
“He’d duck his head up under the bleachers to look up girls skirts at the pep rallies.” Trevor said with a huff, “real shit guy.”
“Tried to sell my brother herbs instead of herb.” April turned around with an amused look on her face.
“Huh.” Anakin said, tonguing the inside of his cheek to hide a smirk. “Real shit guy indeed.”
“Surprised it didn’t happen sooner.” Trevor said with a chuckle.
“Why’s that?” Anakin asked, tossing his towel over his shoulder, rubbing his palms together while he sucked on the ball of one of his snake bites.
“Like I said, real shit guy.” Trevor scoffed. “Doubt they’re even looking too hard for the guys who did it.”
“Guys?” Anakin asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
“Yeah-“ he looked over his shoulder, “what’d it say April? Four of ‘em?”
“Yep.” She said, tossing her lemon rind in the trash.
“Damn.” Anakin shook his head.
“Yeah, the guy who ‘found’ him graduated with us too.” Trevor said, glancing back up at the tv and seeing it had switched over to the weather. “Supposedly it was a real mess, shit everywhere. Stole a bunch of stuff, some kind of drug related thing.”
“Well shit, poor guy.” Anakin shook his head, “that’d be a real nice thing to walk in on.”
“Well hell yeah it would, looking like the Red Seas in there.” Trevor snorted.
“How do you know?” Anakin asked with a smile.
“The dick posted it on his private Snapchat story before he called the cops.” Trevor said, “I didn’t see it, but my buddy did and he said it looked barf worthy, could smell it through the screen.”
“Goddamn that’s nasty.” Anakin winced, “thanks for that mental image.”
“I had to imagine it, so you did too.” Trevor said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Share the wealth or whatever.”
“Trev, I don’t think that applies to murder.” April said, walking past the boys.
“It does now, baby.” He said, tapping her ass as she walked past.
“Hey!” She shot him a dirty look but blushed and smiled anyway. “Told you not to do that at work.”
“Can’t help it.” Trevor shrugged. “Stress reliever.”
“Oh whatever.” She snorted.
“Anyway yeah- apparently the dude, Kyle Spencer, is suspect number one. He was high as a kite when he called Duck’s dad.”
“He called his dad?” Anakin asked confusedly, “not the cops?”
“His dad is the cops.” Trevor said, popping a piece of gum in his mouth before tossing a stick to Anakin.
“Oh shit.” Anakin scoffed, “so what, he called the guys dad to figure it out?”
“Mhm.” Trevor nodded. “At least that’s what everyone thinks. Cause Duck’s dad arrested the guy himself and seemed real ticked off about getting the call. He was at his other son’s house for the grandkids birthday.”
“Well, well, well.” Anakin snorted, covering his mouth to hide a grin as he poured a whiskey. “Isn’t that some good luck?”
——————————————————————————
“I’ve missed this.” Anakin sighed, cradling Boogie in his arms like a furry orange baby while he stood at the foot of your bed and watched you sleep.
“It’s the simple things you know?” He whispered, his filtered voice tapering in and out. He smiled beneath his mask, watching you stir slightly, kicking the covers off your feet.
He turned on his heel and walked out of the bedroom, setting your cat down on the kitchen counter and pouring her a third of a bowl of food. He took off his left hand glove to give her some chin scratches, then from the white patch between her eyes all the way to the end of her fluffy tail.
“You know, I used to really despise cats.” He said, leaning over on the counter and propping himself up on his gloved fist, watching her eat.
“The therapist I had as a kid said it was cause cats don’t automatically take to a person like dogs do.” He picked up her back foot and gently squish her paw pad to spread out her toe beans just to see her claws flex out.
“Cause they don’t listen. You can’t make ‘em listen, you can’t make ‘em do anything they don’t want.”
“I’m glad I met you.” He nodded. “You’re sweet, makes me… hmm, I wouldn’t say regretful. Just dissatisfied about before.”
“That’s okay though.” He sighed, “personal growth and whatnot.”
“I hope your momma won’t be too upset. I promised I’d start telling her before I visited, but you know tonight wasn’t really planned ahead and I got side tracked, and then sidetracked again, cause I’m here talking to you!” He chuckled, giving her a head pat.
“So hang out in here, okay kitty? I’ve got things to do.” He chuckled, unlacing his boots and setting them beside the front door, he made sure his socks were pulled up beneath his jeans and his gloves and sleeves were as they should be.
He crept back into your room, shutting the door behind him, thankful that you’d stayed naked after your evening escapade. You’d sprawled out, one leg bent and your arm above your head, the other hidden beneath the blanket along with your chest, middle and other leg. Anakin walked to the window and opened the curtain just the tiniest bit, allowing a sliver of moonlight to cast a pearly sheen across your exposed skin.
He stood and stared for a long while, having missed the scene before him. So many times he’d slunk in the shadows of your room, clinging to the wall to avoid disrupting that very beam of moonlight. He would scowl and chide you in his mind for leaving the curtains open, but he’d always, always, stop and observe the way you breathed under the pale periwinkle tinted light.
Once he’d had his fill of your nighttime innocence, he closed the curtain and returned you to the black of slumber, preparing to drag you with him on his path to midnight madness.
He lifted the blanket and folded it over out of his way, using the pretty patterned top sheet to cover his head after taking off his mask and placed it on the bed beside him.
Just for the extra security he tugged up his hood as well and hoped that he wouldn’t sweat to death before he could make you finish.
Slowly pushing your legs apart, he smiled at the soft breath you took in when he gently held your hip so that you wouldn’t shift out of position. Anakin pulled off his right hand glove and shoved it in his back pocket so it wouldn’t get lost beneath the sheets.
He kissed along your outer lips, pressing his nose against the crease at the apex of your thighs, inhaling the scent of you and dragging his tongue along behind as his nose traveled up that crease until he reached your hip, where the waist band of your panties should be. He took a moment to nuzzle into the softness of your lower belly, showering your satin skin with kisses before returning to your slit.
His mouth hovered over your folds as if he were mentally preparing himself to savor you slowly, compared to the fast-paced feasts he’d had on you earlier in the day.
With his tongue laid out flat he licked up the remnants of his cum and yours, introducing you to the warm ball centered toward the front of his tongue, purposely letting it catch against your clit. He breathed through his nose, leaving his tongue flat to circle and flick the metal ball over your clit, smiling in triumph when you jolted at the first movement.
He circled your entrance with the calloused pad of his thumb, slurping up your creamy slick from your folds. He flexed his tongue to swipe it side to side the bottom ball of the metal bar scraped along his bottom row of teeth, making a dull metallic sound that seemed much louder to Anakin than it was in reality so he halted his movements to listen for a change in your breathing.
After ensuring you wouldn’t ruin his fun too early he continued his gentle licks and prods of his tongue to your leaking hole. He pulled his mask closer to him, he needed to feel your heat around his fingers and he knew it wouldn’t take too long before you realized what was happening. After all, you didn’t drink your tea.
Inserting one finger slowly his curved it upward and flicked his tongue side to side at the same pace of his finger. He felt you stir beneath him, so he placed a sloppy kiss to your clit. Lazily licking across you rather than giving you calculated movements. He pushed in a second finger, groaning loudly at the squelch when your cunt hungrily sucked in the extra digit.
Your hands came down to push him away, trying to close your legs in your half-awake state.
“Ani?” You asked, trying to cover your drenched pussy with your hand when you felt an unfamiliar sensation slide over your clit, smooth and warm.
Anakin’s ego skyrocketed, but his penchant for deviant behavior told him that statement should be punished by Ghost. Although he’d have to make that decision later because you were getting whiny and impatient.
“Anakin, please.” You mumbled. “What’s that?”
Anakin halted his movements and slipped on his mask and quickly shoved his hand in his glove.
“I’ll give you one more guess little doe.” The modified voice cut through the fog of your sleep and you bolted upright.
“Ghost?” You gasped in surprise, pulling the blankets back over you. “You didn’t- why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“Don’t be embarrassed baby,” he cooed, tugging the blankets away and running his leather hands up your stomach, stopping just beneath your tits. “This is an emergency visit and-“
“What?” You asked in confusion, your eyebrows furrowed. “What happened? What did you do?”
“Um… ow. Hurtful.” He said in a disappointed tone. “I didn’t do anything except develop a raging hard-on.”
“You ass!” You shouted, smacking at his arm. “You scared me!”
“Hey.” He barked. “Maybe next time let me finish talking yeah? Jumping to conclusions like that’ll strain a muscle.”
You stared at him in a state of… not shock or fear, but a bewildered sort of amusement. Once again: the audacity of this man is astounding.
“What?” He asked, sounding irritated.
“I don’t- I don’t know.” You snorted, covering your mouth to stifle a laugh.
“W-wha… hey?” He stammered, confused by your laughter. “Are you laughing? What’s funny?”
“You.” Another laughed bubbled up from your chest.
“Wait- what? You… you’re...” His mouth gaping beneath his mask. “Are you for real?”
“Oh- I’m sorry no… no don’t be mad.” You said reaching out but snatching your hand back quickly after remembering what happened last time you touched him like that without permission.
“Mad?” His voice crackled, the modified voice hinting at hurt in his tone. “Why- why would you think I’m mad?”
“Doe, I’m… that makes me happy.” He said quietly. “This is the first time I’ve made you laugh.”
“What?” You scoffed, “no it’s not.”
“It is.” He said solemnly. “Trust me I keep track of things like that.”
“But-“
“No, no. Trust me.” He said, straddling your legs but not putting any weight on you. “You’ve done that dorky anxious laugh a few times. But I mean… that was a real one.”
“Are you sure?” You asked, your face falling when you realized he was probably right.
“Doe, I’m sure about everything when it comes to you.” He said low and serious, inching closer.
“I’m sorry.” You said, feeling horrible. “That- I’m sorry, that makes me feel bad.”
“Don’t.” He said sternly. “Don’t feel bad.”
“I just had the most fitting conversation earlier today.” He said slowly. “Talking about things and waiting till they’re ready. You laughed cause you were ready.” He said with a defining nod, cupping your cheeks with both hands and carefully caressing your under eyes.
“I’ve always been in favor of positive reinforcement.” Anakin said, smiling to himself. “Do you think you deserve a reward?”
“What is it?” You asked suspiciously, looking him over.
“Something new.” Anakin said simply.
“But,” he said, tilting his head toward you. “You have to promise that you’ll listen to me.”
“Okay…” you nodded cautiously.
“Good girl.” He gave you a curt nod in return, breathing deeply. “Now, I’m gonna give you some very simple instructions. If you do not listen, if you don’t follow them with precision, there will be consequences. Do you understand me?”
“Yes.” You nodded, frowning slightly.
Anakin very tenderly rested his leathered thumbs over your eyes, gingerly closing them and so, so, so carefully making sure they stayed closed.
“Listen closely.” His voice low and dangerous. “When I tell you it’s okay, I want you to take my mask off.”
“What?” You jolted in shock, this was not what you expected at all, you assumed it would be something much more… raunchy.
“Shut up.” He said sharply. “Quiet, listen to me.”
“Sorry.” You whispered, biting down on your lip and fidgeting with your fingers.
“When I tell you it’s okay, you are going to take off my mask. You’re going to be quiet. You’re not going to talk. You’re not going to hear me talk. You will not move. You will keep the mask in your hands, in your lap, and you will not touch me.” Anakin’s voice was clearly conveying a seriousness that couldn’t be ignored.
“Yes sir.” You nodded.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say to me?” He dropped his hands immediately and squeaked out the most pitiful unfiltered noise a man could make.
He didn’t hide it when he palmed his cock, he didn’t seem surprised when you moaned after he grabbed your face. He did lean down, eye level to you and lace his free hand’s long fingers with yours.
“Say it again f’me doe.” He groaned, shifting uncomfortably from his throbbing length.
“Yes sir.” You repeated in a smaller, less confident voice. You hadn’t expected a reaction like this, you’d meant for it to come out snarky…
“New plan.” He grunted, fisting your hair at the top of your head to pull you into sitting position.
He got down off the bed and grabbed his bag from the floor, pulling out a pretty, pink, silk handkerchief and tossing it at you. Along with a pair of padded pink fabric handcuffs, Velcro, not metal clasps.
“What are you… what’s this?” You asked in surprise, an amused smirk on your lips.
“Well, you know the tape ah- just… oh fuck off.” He huffed folding the handkerchief to make a blindfold and carefully tying it tightly around your head, guiding your arms behind your back.
You heard the loud *skrrrriiip* of the Velcro coming apart, then felt the soft liner enveloping each wrist.
“No gag this time?” You huffed, annoyed that he hadn’t finished his sentence, his explanation.
His belt buckle clanked around and he undid his zipper, guiding you to your knees in front of him. He pried your mouth open and pinched the tip of your tongue between his fingers, pulling it slightly before roughly pushing your head down, forcing his girthy length into your mouth.
“Gag on this.” He grunted, holding your head still while you choked around his fat cockhead, your eyes already beginning to water.
He thrust himself in shallow strokes but made sure to hit the back of your mouth every time as punishment, drool dripping down your bottom lip and onto his weighty balls each time they smacked the underside of your chin.
“I w-was gonna kiss you.” He gritted out, causing you to pull back in an effort to say something, but he forced you back down, fucking into your throat alittle deeper.
“Jesus, just listen damnit.” He barked out at you, tugging your hair. “I was trying to… fuck that feels good- mmph.” A puff of air left his nose and he inhaled through his mouth in a shaky gasp.
“Tryin’ to kiss you, m-make it special and soft.” He grunted. “Tried to get you something alittle nicer than some tape from the junk drawer and an old bandana.”
“Should’ve known better.” He groaned, gritting his teeth while he listened to your labored breathing.
“Bitchy little ungrateful brat.” He spat, thrusting harder after he’d said it just to drive his point home.
“Y-you would’ve still gotten your kiss if you hadn’t of smart mouthed me.” He panted. “Now you’re just gonna get a belly full of cum.”
“When are you going to learn?” He chuckled, looking down at you and red tinted face. He pulled out his phone, turning on the flash and hitting record.
“You were being such a good girl.” He moaned, low and gravely. “Callin’ me sir? Good manners. That was a good job, little doe.”
“Then you you went and screwed it up didn’t you? Hmm?” His condescending tone sent a zap of lighting to your core. “Smart mouthing me like I’d let you get away with it.” He scoffed.
“Apologize to me sweetheart.” He demanded, grabbing you by the neck just beneath your jaw and squeezing when you didn’t answer. “C’mon you know you were bad.”
You breathed out through flared nostrils and blinked away your tears, you spoke as best you could but of course it was hardly more than a few choppy sounds.
“Don’t you know you shouldn’t talk with a full mouth?” He laughed, smacking your cheek gently.
“Oh don’t do that baby.” He cooed, his hips slowing as you tried to wriggle free from your restraints.
“Tell you what…” He pulled up your blind fold and tossed it aside. “let’s play a game.” He grunted. “Just be still for a second okay? Then we’ll talk.” He carded his fingers through your hair and nearly keeled over on the spot when your eyelids fluttered, showing just the whites of your eyes.
He doubled over, accidentally shoving his length farther than he meant to, shooting salty ropes down your throat, a choked moan left his lips as his knees buckled slightly.
“Holy shit- oh fuck…” He panted, doing his best to pull back slowly so as not to hurt you. “Sorry baby.” He mumbled sheepishly, quickly tucking himself back in his boxers.
“You okay?” He breathed out, crouching down and getting on your level after stopping the recording.
“Mhm.” Your lungs felt heavy, coughing from your sore throat. “M’fine.”
“Stand up.” He said firmly, but not in a commanding way, more of a ‘I know what’s best for you please just do it’ way.
You nodded and stood up to face him, waiting for further details but you got none. Anakin spun you around and removed your cuffs, grunting in approval when he saw he’d managed not to mar up your pretty skin on accident with these new bindings.
Then, gentle hands on your shoulders turned you back around. He just stood there and stared at you. You hated when he did that, it was so hard to judge his mood already. But when he was quiet and still? Impossible.
“Do you know what a safe word is?” He asked.
“Yes…” you said, looking off to the side.
“Good. Yours is purple, got it?” He asked, gripping your chin.
“Okay. Safe word is purple.” You nodded, gauging his unmoving form cautiously.
“Put on some pjs.” He said plainly, flipping out his knife, one you hadn’t seen before, just to play with while he waited.
“Is that new?” You asked quietly, trying to make some kind of semi-normal conversation.
“What? This?” He asked, flipping it closed and holding it out to you.
“Yeah.” You nodded. “Is it?”
“You noticed.” He said simply, swinging his hand side to side in a gesture for you to take it.
“I’m smarter than I look.” You snorted, taking it from him and carefully opening it.
“We’ll see.” He said in a flat tone, his mood changed slightly now.
“Roses?” You asked, closing the handles back to look at the carved design in black metal with red backing.
“I bought that one just for you. I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind it as much if it were pretty.” He said softly, reaching his hand up behind his head to scratch his neck as though he were anxious.
“I- well.” You sighed, stunned by him for the thousandth time. “That’s actually very sweet Ghost.”
You awkwardly handed it back to him, unsure how to navigate this calmer water with him. You gave him a crooked smile and finished getting dressed.
“No.” He shook his head. “Not that. I like that one.” He said, crossing his arms.
“Fine.” You slipped back out of the matching set you had chosen, and tossed it in the drawer without folding it.
“Move.” He grunted, pulling out your bottom drawer and grabbed an old tshirt of Anakin’s and a pair of his loose boxers that you sometimes wore as shorts. “Put them on.”
You scowled, but tried to bite back your words. In some strange way of his own he was being nicer. He was trying. He obviously felt terribly about how he’d scared you into a panic attack, he cared enough to check up on you. You may as well play along.
After getting dressed you put your hands on your hips and faced him squarely.
“Run.”
“What?” You asked in confusion.
“Run.” He barked, his voice gritty and dangerous, he stood up to his full height and flicked open his knife again. “Get movin’, go!”
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Tag-List:
@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwarssmut @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco @demieyesore
THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.
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cosmere-mini-bang · 3 days
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Welcome to the Cosmere Mini Bang!
Event Info | Guidelines/FAQ | Timeline | Ask
What is a Big Bang/Mini Bang?
From Fanlore:
A Big Bang (or “Bang” for short) is a specific type of challenge usually involving long fics and accompanying artwork. This type of challenge is a reprise of the old zine tradition of collaboration between artists and writers for internet fandoms. Most Big Bangs have a similar format: Writers sign up to take part in the challenge and begin writing stories. When the early drafts of the stories are available, each one is assigned one or more artists, or artists might claim stories from posted summaries. Artists create fanart to go along with the story. This art can take the form of illustrations, manips, photo collages, vids, icon sets, etc.
Mini bangs are similar to big bangs, but are smaller in scope, with a smaller word count requirement than traditional big bangs.
So, what exactly is the word minimum?
We’ve set up two tracks for this event: the Mini Bang and the Petite Bang.
For the Mini track: writers are expected to write a minimum of 3k words. Artists should create one simple piece to accompany their writer’s fic—the definition of a “simple” piece is up to artist discretion, but should approximately match the amount of work writers put into their fic.
For the Petite track: writers are expected to write a minimum of 10k words. Artists should create one complex piece OR two simple pieces—again, definitions are up to artist discretion.
How long do I have to do this? 
Writer sign-ups are open from Wednesday, May 1 to Wednesday, June 12, and are expected to have 50% of their work done by Sunday, August 4, at which point they will be asked to provide a summary and excerpt of their fic for artist claims. 
Artist sign-ups are open from Wednesday, May 1 to Wednesday, July 31. Claims happen a few days later, and artists will receive their assignments a few days after that.
Fics and art are to be posted beginning on Wednesday, October 16. This gives writers four months total to work on their fic, and artists a little over two months to create their art. 
Sounds good! How do I sign up? 
Sign-ups open on Wednesday, May 1. The form for writers is HERE, and for artists is HERE. Please be sure to read the Event Guidelines/FAQ before signing up!
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neversetyoufree · 2 days
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I just had a thought. What if our lovely Machina's real name is Carmilla? It definitely fits the lady-loving vampire theme we've got there.
Oh, interesting thought!
Besides being very wlw, Carmilla is also quite an early example of vampires in literature. It has predecessors, but aside from The Vampyre by Polidori (which kicked off literary vamps in the first place), the only one generally cited as having a major influence on the genre is the penny dreadful Varney the Vampire, the source for the name Francis Varney. In other words, August Ruthven and Francis Varney currently have names pulled from just about the earliest possible examples of literary vampires. That means that making Francis's real name Carmilla, Varney's immediate followup in the timeline of major pre-Dracula vampire works, would be a nice touch to keep all that consistent.
I can't think of many connections yet between Machina and the story of Carmilla itself yet besides the queerness, but still. Fun theory!
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DA - I think starting in July and definitely by August Ali knew she and Ashlyn were having major problems, but I don’t think she realized that Ashlyn was serious about actually leaving. Ashlyn may have even communicated that to Ali, but they always seemed to work through issues. There was no reason for Ali to believe Ashlyn was serious about leaving. I fully believe she thought they would work through everything and I also get the feeling Ashlyn lied directly to her face while telling Sophia they were separated. The literal definition of a two timer.
HOWEVER, none of this excuses Ashlyn’s shit behavior throughout this process and I fully believe Ali when she says she was blindsided by the filing.
It’s just based on her own interviews since then, she’s indicated there were problems starting in July or August. IIRC, in her Self article and in a press conference after the final, Ali mentioned “the last 5 months,” which would bring everything back to July.
Well, guess what was in June? Cannes.
I actually think Ashlyn and Sophia started chatting in April at the Gotham vs Angel City home opener and Cannes was a carefully orchestrated plan to allow them to spend time together, but you didn’t hear it from me.
The next time the FBI needs anything they should call Swifties and woso fans.
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ferronickel · 6 months
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Oh no! The consequences of my own actions!
:(
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jemmo · 5 months
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you’re telling me p’aof gave us a first kiss on a rooftop AGAIN and i can’t watch it until tonight?!!???!!!
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sonknuxadow · 6 months
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ok wait actually what if they finally show a trailer for the knuckles series at the game awards. im not saying its for sure going to happen but iirc the first full trailers for the second movie and sonic frontiers were shown at the game awards so its not completely impossible
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sideordertheories · 9 months
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heyy nintendo *blinks my eyes innocently and cutely* wheres the drizzle season trailer? and the side order trailer? where's the side order release date?? there's two private videos on the nintendo splatoon 3 playlist, release them :D
⬆️ losing his mind from the lack of side order content
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graff-aganda · 1 year
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Summary of Art 2022!
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fridayyy-13th · 5 months
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guess who finally finished submitting his college applicatiooons~
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I passed 4 out of 5 exams!
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aphelea · 1 year
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so nobody was going to tell me that march had 28 days huh
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tiredbiostudent · 2 years
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august!
#got a new tent and I’m in love😭#I’m going backpacking next week and I’m SO pumped even if it’s supposed to be thunderstorming the first two days 😩 lol#life update is that I’ve mostly just been trying to organize my life after being gone for work for like 3 months#and I’m practicing driving a lot bc my test is at the end of the month😭 it’s going better than I thought but still stressful#also going to college in the fall and still not sure how to feel about it LMAO#i think I’m just worried I’m not gonna make any friends the entire year and I’m gonna hate it and have the program be a waste of time#I’m sure it’ll be fine?🥴#and I’m STILL contemplating about doing a masters shdhdhdg#bc ok I loved the job I had this summer and would happily do contract field bio jobs for the rest of my life but unfortunately it’s not very#stable and doesn’t pay super well so at some point I’m going to need to get a more formal job which I might need an MSc for :/ we’ll see#the idea of research and /being/ a grad student is so appealing but then I think about the actual work I’d have to do and it’s like um my#i always feel like shit in august and am so yugh because it’s friggen hot and there’s nothing to do and I have definitely been feeling that#(also because I miss work and being up north)#but I just scrolled through my ‘insp’ instagram saved posts and Pinterest board and am acc feeling good today hshdhdgxhd#like you know when you’re just excited about life 🥰✨ hehe#omg sorry for this I guess I just needed to dump my thoughts out onto the ground for everyone#mine
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tue, aug 1st (day 2)
I finally did a successful workout today (only 20 minutes but it was more intense than the workouts I used to do before I got a trial on a workout app (The subscription is way too high so I'm just using it to try something new and collect new exercises)) and made oatmeal with honey and strawberries and some coffee because I was still feeling hot from the workout. I didn't use to drink coffee almost at all until this summer when I needed something to cool down so I tried to make something that was basically a spoonful of coffee with sugar mixed in a glass of milk, added ice and have been making a better (and iceless) version of that since even when it's colder. But I still prefer tea in the morning and can't wait for autumn.
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Anyways. Spent most of the morning turning a thrifted shirt into a pillowcase while rewatching a whole season of The Good Place and then ate a whole pack of paprika-flavoured crisps instead of the pre-made pasta for lunch (they were delicious. and left some marks on the fabric.)
And because I was so excited about it and really wanted to finish it, I kind of strayed from my routine only the second day in, and arrived at the library almost two hours later than I was supposed to. Which is kind of a point I'd like to talk about for a little bit.
It took me literal years to find a balance between perfectionism and complete chaos. I kept putting everything into stupid school presentations just to make them tip-top, getting migraines from the stress and then had a long period in the past half-year when I was just letting myself do anything I wanted and eventually started having slight breakdowns when something wasn't going according to my expectations. It's rooted in deeper psychological issues that one has to work on, therapy is recommended, and you might need to sever ties with some toxic people in your life.
What I'm trying to say is, I still got a lot done today, I still arrived at the library and took more notes on rabbits. I used my time well, even though not perfectly according to the schedule.
There will come a time (maybe when you lose your daily schedule completely) when you realize that it's all made up and you need time off just as much as you need some time spent working and accomplishing something. You do need both. Burnout is hard to recover from. But if you play all day, every day and bend to your own every whim, you'll eventually start feeling like shit.
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I'll be posting something about my own new (temporary) daily schedule soon, about putting it together and how I manage it in practice. For now, have some evening reading aesthetics and my new cosy pillow, and enjoy your day :)
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depressedzelda · 9 months
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I ordered Ben a keyblade in November of last year and they still haven't sent it and i feel like im being scammed lol. Oh well. It's been far too long to get a refund and I've chosen to trust them (they said the partner that helps them make their product was suffering extremely after catching covid which...definitely is a more than valid reason) i just. Hope i wasn't being taken advantage of lollll
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drysauce · 9 months
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fuck this shit i'm NOT working this summer
#the initial plan was to work august september#but it turned out i'll be going to vienna at the beginning of september so i was planning to work for almost the whole august instead#so i messaged a buddy of mine who's been already working in a few shops#to ask which ones would be most eagar to hire me for a month#he didn't tell me and instead went 'lmao only for a month?' and it somehow pissed me off so much#i don't need money at the moment because i have a shit ton of savings so i was planning to work mostly so i wouldn't sit bored at home#but everyone around me seems to think that all people my age should definitely work for the whole summer#that at this age that's how ot should be because adults should work instead of staying at home for weeks#well fuck you all the same thing was going on when i said i wouldn't make a diving license ans that's why im already considered a#disappointment to society#i was grinding the schoolwork like crazy this year and ended up with maxed grades from the majority of the subject meaning i will most#definitely get a scholarship that is like 500-800zl a month for a year#which is FAR MORE than I'd make working in some clothes store for 2 months#i was working so hard at school i believe i deserve a break during holidays because guess what? IM TIRED#and a perspective of resigning from a trip with friends to tire myself more at work isn't amusing to me#'but your cousin didn't go on a vacation and is working this summer'#well during the schoolyear she and her girlfriend were making cosplays amd visiting places (good for them) so she's probably not as fed up#with everything and doesn't mind working because she doesn't feel that much of a need for a break#but i do and im so damn mad at everyone who tells me otherwise#fuck off i already worked my ass off for last 9 months to get that damn scholarship so these holidays im resting#next two semesters i'll tone down om schoolwork and getting 5s only and then work during summer but not this year#AGHH i hate it here
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